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View Full Version : When you're not in a good place, how do you treat your hair?



GrowingOut
July 2nd, 2014, 07:42 AM
I've been having a bad time recently, and with that, my haircare levels tend to go down as the stress rises. I miss washes, I'm not so gentle, and the most I do is just braid it or bun it, and ignore it.

What happens to you when you have a problem? Do you ignore it? Baby it? Take out the stress on it?

Tini'sNewHair
July 2nd, 2014, 07:57 AM
Sorry to hear that you're going through this :( I actually wash it more often when im stressed and I may handle it a little bit rougher ....

Johannah
July 2nd, 2014, 07:57 AM
If I'm having a bad time, I do TOO much for my hair. I've had stress for 1.5 months due to exams (I get my result tomorrow and I still don't feel great :/) and I've done too many conditioning treatments. Now I've noticed my hair had too much moisture, so now I'm giving it protein treatments and it's getting better.

spidermom
July 2nd, 2014, 07:59 AM
Combing/brushing it out helps to relieve stress for me, so I probably do more of that. I think I tend to wash it more often, too; having an oily head annoys me, especially when I'm stressed.

Chamomile betty
July 2nd, 2014, 08:31 AM
I think if you are treating/conditioning your hair then buning it should stay out of your way. I am better if I just wear my hair up and 'forget it' during those moments. Just watch those 'chop' thoughts if you have them. Buy yourself a nice hair toy or product to get you through.
Hope it passes.

Nesoi
July 2nd, 2014, 08:33 AM
If I'm struggling then I don't tend to pay much attention at all to personal grooming, tbh. I'd be lucky to get a shower! But I've noticed that investing time and energy in things like my hair and nails actually helps ward the bad days off, for me.

Timea
July 2nd, 2014, 10:16 AM
I put it in a braid or two and then ignore it until I can deal with it again.

Majorane
July 2nd, 2014, 11:10 AM
Last summer when things were really bad (like, outside stress. Had to care for my suicidal parents the winter before, and then my granny went downhill and someone had to visit her three times a week, to care for her, that was me) I desperately needed to do SOMETHING with my hair. Did all kinds of braids and buns with those small elastics, but was very impatient removing them. And then after a while it was either cut it all of to a short bob, or do a dip-dye. I just NEEDED to do something drastic with my hair, probably to make a statement and claim a bit of ME back. So, I bleached my BSL healty hair three times in a week from ends to collarbone and then veggiedyed all kinds of colors over it. Oh and I made one white streak in my bangs.
After two months my ends just crumbled off, so I cut off the worst white crumbly bits, kept the dip dye for a few months and have been gradually cutting out the major damage. There's still many splits alll'' the way up my hairshafts from the elastics and stuff, so I will be feeling this for quite a few years. I don't really regret it either, it was something I needed. And my granny thought it was fantastic, I dyed it bright turquoise on her funeral so it matched her outfit in the coffin :)

I am glad to know I'm not the only one that does weird things to much loved hair when stressed. Normal daily talk with friends never mentions this.

queenovnight
July 2nd, 2014, 11:19 AM
I overly wash/rinse my hair when im stressed. I'm talking 2-3 times a day. For some reason, I find that showers relieve my stress. But usually it's just a water wash, so that's not too bad. Then I usually toss my hair in a bun without even comb it XD When im stressed, I basically forget that I even have hair.

NatNat
July 2nd, 2014, 11:35 AM
I tend to brush mine more, and put it in more damaging styles like ponytails - only because they are quick and easy.

Heavy Raindrops
July 2nd, 2014, 07:06 PM
Uh oh, I do really bad things to my hair... I straighten it and I think my hair falls out more when I do this. I straightened my hair a few days ago cos I was feeling terrible... Not good.

chen bao jun
July 2nd, 2014, 07:41 PM
When I am stressed, I spend too much time on LHC so as to ignore my life, and that's not good, but on the other hand, I treat my hair better.
Also, grooming my hair helps to de-stress me.

xoChesleyy
July 2nd, 2014, 09:07 PM
I used to do a coconut oil pre-poo each night before my wash. Also, I would apply coconut oil to my ends daily and S&D often. Since becoming so busy with nursing school, I've just been periodically micro-trimming to thicken my hemline (and in hopes of getting rid of some splits since I'm unable to S&D as much now), clarifying when needed, and using a deep conditioner once a week. I still take care of it, but I don't have as much time to do all of the time-consuming things I did prior to my schooling. On the plus side though, my hair seems to "grow faster" when I've been super busy, because my mind is more occupied with other things, rather than focusing primarily on my hair growth. :D

Crumpet
July 2nd, 2014, 10:11 PM
Stress -> doing little and being rough with my hair.

Depression/Lonliness -> focusing a lot on my hair.

Happy -> a nice medium.

yassi
July 2nd, 2014, 11:21 PM
When I'm frustrated, I'm less careful about my hair. (Today I was frustrated, and so I messed up bleaching--didn't notice how light my hair was going. Cue being more frustrated. Thankfully I was only bleaching a very small section that is mostly hidden.)
Sometimes when I'm feeling down or lonely I just spend a lot of time brushing/styling my hair.

trolleypup
July 3rd, 2014, 07:15 PM
Neglect (beyond benign) and a bun all the time.

HintOfMint
July 3rd, 2014, 07:19 PM
Each funk I have is different. Sometimes I obsess and, like Chen, spend too much time on LHC to distract myself. Other times, it's all I can do to wash my hair, let alone style it. However, each funk has one thing in common: my appetite goes through the floor. So then I worry about a potential shed from a lack of nutrients.

kidari
July 3rd, 2014, 07:45 PM
I realized that stress makes me obsess over my hair or treat it badly or ignore it completely, but the focus is not always on hair. In the past I took it out on my body through food or began hoarding particular things. If I have major life changing events whether they are good or bad, I do a drastic change like dye my light hair pitch black or cut my long hair to a chin length bob.

Undomiel
July 4th, 2014, 12:58 AM
Sorry you're feeling stressed atm OP :blossom:

When I'm not in a good place I usually neglect it. Too few washes and throw it up in a bun. If I'm stressed/sad, I don't care about my appearance besides doing the minimum.

parallellines
July 4th, 2014, 02:50 AM
Sorry to hear about the stress, GrowingOut, hope this sorts out quickly for you.

For far too long, I fell back into the habit of not paying enough attention to my hair. Now I am attempting to spend more time on it, to put balance and pacing back into my life. This approach may not work for anyone else so I am not suggesting it, just mentioning it.

embee
July 4th, 2014, 06:23 AM
The main bad thing I did was chop off 8 inches. What a mistake. That really shook me up because it eliminated all the updo styles I knew other than single braid or pony tail. Then not only was my life going badly, my hair was wrecked. Bummer.

Hope life will improve for you before you do some dumb thing like I did.

Dreams_in_Pink
July 4th, 2014, 09:58 AM
I never comb/detangle my hair when i'm stressed because it's likely i'll rip my tangles out. I have no patience at those times, i just make a messy bun and forget it.

ETA: Ooooooh i forgot to say: I'm somewhat a shopaholic. At stressful times, if i see a nice hairtoy on Etsy no matter the price i just have to have it.

two_wheels
July 4th, 2014, 10:59 AM
If I'm busy-stressed, I just put my hair up however is easiest, with the same thing every day, and ignore it.
Emotional-stressed: leads to emotional-shopping. At least I don't do emotional-chopping.

battles
July 4th, 2014, 12:02 PM
I'm going through medication withdrawals and feeling pretty horrible. I've just been keeping it up with spin pins and a headband because I don't have the energy or patience. Occasionally I'll brush through it with my tangle teezer, but I usually put it straight back up and ignore it. It's either that or cut it all off, and I know I'd regret that.

LongHairTalk
July 4th, 2014, 06:18 PM
When I'm stressed I tend to wash it more often.
I go all out and paint my nails, dress up, do my makeup, If I have time I may even deep condition.
Although, I won't lie, I could be gentler when it comes to detangling.
One time I had a self-S&D party. Got rid of 99.9% of split ends. lol

Maktub
July 4th, 2014, 06:28 PM
Smaller stress : I might comb and S&D more.

Big stress : I've once made an impulsive 4 inch "trimm" :(

GrowingOut
July 4th, 2014, 06:34 PM
Thanks for the all the responses and support everyone! :) <3 I'm feeling a lot better now, and reading your responses helped that. Thank you! :flower:

Loviatar
July 4th, 2014, 06:35 PM
I'm sorry you're struggling with things GrowingOut, it feels awful when that happens.

I've spent years trashing my hair due to bulimia, BDD and associated body image issues. I consider that I beat bulimia, but the BDD persists and much like controlling food I control my hair. It had been horrible (deliberately bleaching out indigo for example) or it has been great but short lived (wacky colours). I ripped brushes through wet hair, pulled at it, back combed it so it would hurt to comb out, god knows what else.

I have been dye/bleach/colour free for about 1.5 years now and I am starting to be able to think about why I want to do permanent things to my hair, and when it is ok to do so. I have a psychologist, btw, who is great. I am beginning to explore the idea of colouring again with him. He says that my hair controlling and painful ways are a form of self harm, and as an ex self harmer in other ways, I believe that.

These days if I am stressed or depressed I aloe gel my fringe/bangs down and bun or clip the rest. If I am depressed I may water wash but that's all. I have to fight not to do too much to it. I cover up mirrors on bad days too.

ETA I posted at the same time as you GrowingOut. I'm glad you're starting to feel better.