Insecurities/fears and support for those thinking about transitioning to gray hair...

[Sarahlabyrinth]

There has been some recent discussion about going gray and rude remarks from others, unsolicited opinions etc. I have been wondering whether to and how to transition to gray myself. I think my grays and sparklies are really pretty but part of me feels that by growing them I will in a sense be saying goodbye to my youth and it will be "proof" that I am ageing. Also I fear the rude comments which I know will come.... So I thought it would be nice to have a thread to discuss it here! We all need support to do this!

[lapushka]

I'm about 2% gray ATM, I'm guessing. I have a small sprinkling of white hairs throughout my hair. They are nicely, evenly, distributed (no complaints there) and they are *hardly* even noticeable. I am wondering, though, what it's going to be like when more hairs come in, and how I'll react. I do want to keep natural and virgin hair as long as possible and I will do my utmost to keep it that way.

Thanks for creating this awesome support thread, Sarahlabyrinth!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Thanks Lapushka! Yes there are various fears involved, and we certainly can have irrational thoughts/fears. Part of me is dreading the whole process. But I would love it if my hair looked like Dulce's! It's the growing out process I think and the look of multi coloured hair too, I'm afraid it will look really ugly! Though there are LHCers on whom it looks really good, I fear that on myself, it won't....

[lapushka]

Thanks Lapushka! Yes there are various fears involved, and we certainly can have irrational thoughts/fears. Part of me is dreading the whole process. But I would love it if my hair looked like Dulce's! It's the growing out process I think and the look of multi coloured hair too, I'm afraid it will look really ugly! Though there are LHCers on whom it looks really good, I fear that on myself, it won't....

The cool thing is that you won't have a line of demarcation as when growing out dye. Gray comes in gradually, and normally the process is very slow, so slow that it doesn't even look bad on the hair itself.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

The cool thing is that you won't have a line of demarcation as when growing out dye. Gray comes in gradually, and normally the process is very slow, so slow that it doesn't even look bad on the hair itself.

Ah but you see I would be growing out dye so would have a line of demarcation. It would be so much more bearable if there wasn't.

[lunalocks]

Great idea for a thread! I don't have a problem with my sparklies (other than hilarious comments by my 97 yo mother, and my DH who wishes I would go gray faster - sorry, but it will occur over the next few decades) but I am insecure about how thin my ends are getting and general thinning all over. I am almost TB but the thinning starts about waist and I miss my thicker hemline. 2 surgeries during the past year caused significant shedding. Some is growing back in but in the meantime I microtrim and wear it up. I miss having it down, and the compliments.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Thank you lunalocks! We all have our insecurities don't we? :)

[lunalocks]

OOOps - sorry, misread and thought it was insecurities but not specific to going gray.

[dulce]

Thanks for the compliment .But I wish I had all silver hair,my bangs are white,my temples are white,the nape is medium brown and my back light brown due to the grays mixed in.If I wear a tight high halfup or tight high pony I look bald due to the white temples, plus in some half ups it looks like I'm wearing a wig as my top is darker and my sides under are white and there is a sharp dividing line[like an old man wearing a toupee!]So I have to pull carefully and gently back to try and blur the sharp divide line..I went gray initially not voluntarily.My whites became dye resistant and the salon said they had to pretreat before colouring with more chemicals.My dyed hair faded rapidly after colouring ,becoming brassy and my roots showed every 2 weeks.My hair was breaking and thinning also.I decided to grow out my dyed pixie and at arm pit length decided to go gray.I thought silver would look bad with my complexion as my skin has had an orange tinge.But there was no choice.I did highlights and layers to cut off more dye, twice the 1st year of transition to blend the 2 inch cool coloured roots with the dyed brassy hair and then just let them grow out as I grew the rest of my hair longer..I learned to like the curls[no more blow dryer-substituted a floor fan and no more flat iron ever].I was surprised to see my hair getting much thicker over time,shiny again and healthy.I was surprised to see I was not all silver,most of my white was coming underneath so only showed if I wore it up-another surprise!But now I pick hair toys that accent my multicolours,I decided to turn a negative into a positive.And somehow my skin looked ok-another surprise! So my advice is go for it! Don't make a decision if you like it or not till all the dye is cut off ,as the dye skews the look of your gray.Now I will never go back to dye ..

[dulce]

Oh-forgot to mention,freedom from roots! Money saved[lots!] and time saved..Plus I now cut my own hair so I never go to salons and I can buy nice hair toys from my salon savings.

[Larki]

This is a seriously dumb question, sorry, but I've always wondered. :p When you start going gray, do entire strands turn gray at once or do your roots just start turning gray in places, like how your roots come in when you dye your hair?

[dulce]

I have had both positive and negative comments re having long silver hair by strangers[usually women] in public,but I ignore the naysayers.Cutting might make those anti long hairs happy but I would be unhappy so it's not going to happen.I was the only one with long silver hair in my area a few years ago,the other week I was in a store lineup and saw 4 older women with silver hair ranging from midback to waist. So it is changing slowly..

[dulce]

I belong to some gray forums,some gray evenly all over,some get patchy grays like me.Some gray on the top layer of hair first,some like me have the gray come in underneath.My mom and grandmother all had patchy gray even in their late 60's and I was told years ago I would too[and they were right]How you gray is usually genetic so look at your closest relatives

[dulce]

I had a solid white streak in my bangs in my 30's so thought I'd go silver early but I didn't!!It's all been a surprise for me..My short roots looked pure silver against the dye but as I let them grow out realized I would not be all silver.

[Larki]

I belong to some gray forums,some gray evenly all over,some get patchy grays like me.Some gray on the top layer of hair first,some like me have the gray come in underneath.My mom and grandmother all had patchy gray even in their late 60's and I was told years ago I would too[and they were right]How you gray is usually genetic so look at your closest relatives

Hm, interesting, thank you! My grandma went all white, not gray, and we have the same natural hair color, so maybe my hair will go that route. But my mom has gorgeous hair that is light silver around her face and gets steadily darker toward the back of her head. She keeps it really short though - I wish I could find out what it would look like long!

[lapushka]

This is a seriously dumb question, sorry, but I've always wondered. :p When you start going gray, do entire strands turn gray at once or do your roots just start turning gray in places, like how your roots come in when you dye your hair?

No it comes from the root. The root starts to grow in gray, and may result in previously dyed strands suddenly changing color and growing in gray.

[dulce]

My grays come in as new hairs.if I put my hair in a bun at the top of my head,the bun is fairly brown as most of the silver has not grown down the full length yet.So I have more silver on top than at my ends.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Thank you dulce, I seem to have the whitest hairs on the top and sides, with fewer at the nape. And a dark streak right in the front middle... I think the silvers and grays would suit my skin beautifully but the clash between the blonde dye and the gray could look odd. I suppose I could get highlights or something put in for the first year like you did. My problem is not wanting to lose any length so it would be a very long time until the dyed hair was trimmed off....

[lapushka]

My grays come in as new hairs.if I put my hair in a bun at the top of my head,the bun is fairly brown as most of the silver has not grown down the full length yet.So I have more silver on top than at my ends.

I have had both, though most of the gray grows in an entirely new strand - gray from the start. I have had strands that turned color mid-shaft, though. It's rare, but it exists.

[dulce]

Yes ,it was almost 4 years for me ,but I had a lovely [it was really pretty!] ombre look for a few years as my highlighted hair grew longer.Hubby loved it.I'm fully transitioned now but not fully gray yet.But the natural silvery white highlights in front are nice..My hubby actually prefers my multicolours over pure silver as it is more interesting he says.

[dulce]

http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l545/chicaaa1/DSC00602.jpg (http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/chicaaa1/media/DSC00602.jpg.html)
My midback length hair with the highlights/layers growing out and the gray growing in.

[dulce]

http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l545/chicaaa1/DSC00686.jpg (http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/chicaaa1/media/DSC00686.jpg.html)
My growing out ombre highlights in my bun.

[dulce]

I had a layered v cut mid back [cuts off more dye ] and in this pic you can see highlights growing out as I grew longer and went gray.http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l545/chicaaa1/DTake lots of pics as you transition,it is your journey and pics tell you how it's coming along..SC00361.jpg (http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/chicaaa1/media/DSC00361.jpg.html)

[dulce]

Take pics as you transition,it is your journey and pics help you to see how it's coming and are a memento.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Yes ,it was almost 4 years for me ,but I had a lovely [it was really pretty!] ombre look for a few years as my highlighted hair grew longer.Hubby loved it.I'm fully transitioned now but not fully gray yet.But the natural silvery white highlights in front are nice..My hubby actually prefers my multicolours over pure silver as it is more interesting he says.

Yes, it would be a matter of learning to love the ombre look. My hair already is ombre, from blonde to faded brown at the ends, so with transition it would be double ombre, from gray to blonde to brown. Interesting would certainly be the word to describe that! Thanks for all your lovely photos dulce, your hair certainly looked fine during the process!

[dulce]

I don't know how that pic got removed.here goes..
http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l545/chicaaa1/DSC00361.jpg (http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/chicaaa1/media/DSC00361.jpg.html)

[dulce]

The other option is to cut very short,go gray immediately and grow the length back,but that's like 3 plus years!I didn't have the patience to regrow plus my hair does not behave well short..But there are options as to how you want to transition to gray.I had the gray,and light brown and dark nape brown,ashy blonde highlites and my natural whites all co-habituating at once for awhile as I transitioned..It sounds awful but it really wasn't!Hubby loved it and he's a virgo and very fussy..

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Beautiful dulce! Your stats say your hair is now 42" - any chance of a picture of that? :)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I did think of just leaving my dye on the roots for a shorter and shorter time so that eventually there is no dye at all any more, that process could well take me a couple of years. I have already begun the process, I used to allow the dye to stay on for 30 minutes, the last time I did my roots I only left it on for 20 minutes. It didn't seem to affect the colour but 15 or 10 minutes surely would, I would expect. The dye would gradually be less intense and allow my natural colour to gradually show through. Hope this all makes sense...

[dulce]

I can put my v cut pic up[bottom of v was close to classic I think] but after that I cut my v off to get a blunt even http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l545/chicaaa1/DSC00677-1.jpg (http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/chicaaa1/media/DSC00677-1.jpg.html)cut so am 1-2 inches past waist now and regrowing.

[dulce]

That is my natural brown in the center and silver sides[no dye or highlights left at all now]

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Oh, so gorgeous! You are my inspiration! If I get discouraged I can just look at THAT photo. I think this is going to be a great thread!

[dulce]

I wasn't as good with dye as you are ,you could try that.

[dulce]

I just refused to cut short..

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Well I totally refuse to cut short! So we will see how my experiment goes. I will so love not messing around with dyes any more, plus money saved, as you said.

[dulce]

Here is a collage I did for documenting the transition[I grew my bangs back after this][http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l545/chicaaa1/222293_4705545604283_1169074198_n.jpg (http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/chicaaa1/media/222293_4705545604283_1169074198_n.jpg.html)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Thank for the photos - I just showed them to my SO and he thought your hair is so pretty! He said that it is only human to go gray and that even cows go gray LOL. (He is a dairy farmer). Didn't know that cows go gray....

[slynr]

Dulce- just had to step in to comment how amazing your hair looks! So very beautiful!! I want hair like that!

[dulce]

Thanks!It's easy to have..

[dulce]

Silver long hair is usually so much prettier [in my opinion] after a certain age than dyed hair .It just sparkles and has variations while dye is flat when it covers white or silver hair underneath and all one colour[my opinion only]Coloured hair looks great on younger ladies who still have lots of natural pigment left in their hair.

[dulce]

Sorry for the big pics,I don't know how to photo shop but at least you see the details better.

[dulce]

Women always think men won't like long gray hair,I haven't found that.At a lineup at a store a 30 something man behind me was discussing my loose gray hair with his girlfriend.Quote''nothing better than long and natural''.So there ladies! Nothing to fear..

[Sarahlabyrinth]

How wonderful to hear encouraging things about long gray hair! I saw a woman yesterday with BSL absolutely stunning silver - gray hair and I couldn't take my eyes off the way it was gleaming and shining in the sun! If she hadn't have been on the other side of the road I would have complimented her on it.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Do you wear your hair loose much, dulce?

[spidermom]

I was lucky on several accounts. My original color was so light that I had quite a few silvery hairs before I noticed. I asked my hair stylist about coloring "the gray", and she said "it's not gray, it's silvery blonde. Leave it alone; it's going to be stunning."

Lately I've been thinking that I'd like to have at least 2 colors added to hair in thin slices at about the center-back of my hair to make pretty accents in braids and buns. I'd keep the top and sides as they are.

[dulce]

You are lucky spidermom,your natural silvery blonde is lovely.You had a smart stylist.I do wear mine loose a lot, if it's not hot,not windy or rainy..If you do that Spidermom,pics please?I bet it will be lovely..

[Sarahlabyrinth]

That sounds like fun Spidermom!

[Crystawni]

Gorgeous hair, dulce! You're further along than me with the whites and length, although I'm like you with the changes happening at the temples (fully white now for me) and underneath (fully speckled), with my canopy now beginning to streak. I don't have worries with my hair, although the "toupee" used to be a pain, so I avoided updos for a bit. Luckily I can blend the whites a bit more now, and try not to pull buns too tight so I can avoid the "balding sides" look. I've posted a bit in the Salt & Pepper thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=16951), and found others there to be inspirational. :) As I said in the thread Sarahlabyrinth mentioned at the start, I'm having fun with the changes. It's like having your own shimmering, exotic wood to mould into any pattern, at your fingertips. Although, it makes choosing hair toys a bit trickier.

[chen bao jun]

Dulce, you are gorgeous.
Here is a pic of my hair in which you can see the grey.
http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a481/uloma1/100_2423_zps3678df15.jpg (http://s1280.photobucket.com/user/uloma1/media/100_2423_zps3678df15.jpg.html)

[chen bao jun]

From the front, you don't it really yet. Hubby likes my hair like this. Out. My curls are not all that evident in this photo due to my hair having been braided and bunned all week, which straightens my hair out (though it is still not straight)
http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a481/uloma1/meandEdfacegone_zpsdf68f34a.jpg (http://s1280.photobucket.com/user/uloma1/media/meandEdfacegone_zpsdf68f34a.jpg.html)
http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a481/uloma1/nofacecrownbraid_zps4a647543.jpg (http://s1280.photobucket.com/user/uloma1/media/nofacecrownbraid_zps4a647543.jpg.html)

[chen bao jun]

Two years ago my hairdresser (I still had one then) told me that I 'had' to cover my grey. I thought that was so interesting, as I couldn't really see any back then...

[dulce]

Glad you didn't Chen..

[chen bao jun]

Well, there wasn't really anything to cover, it was really obviously silly at that point.
I suppose if I were very insecure and she said the same thing NOW, I might be sucked in, though it's not 5% grey yet, I do now have visible ones, though. I didn't then.
It was like this friend of mine who once came to me seriously concerned because the saleslady in the store said she had a droopy bosom (which she doesn't). I asked, did she then try to sell you a bra? An expensive one? And she said, yes, and as she was saying yes, the light dawned....
I am so inspired by your story and your photos over on the other thread, Dulce.

[dulce]

Thanks Chen!

[dulce]

Everyone worries about going gray but once you make up your mind you are going to do it no matter what ,it gets a lot easier.I also stopped going to salons after my highlights,learned to cut my own hair so I could grow long and go gray in peace and no longer get salon pressure to cut short and dye and get an age appropriate old ladies cut as I'm 62 now[ok for those that like it but not for me!I want long even at my age!]

[ErinLeigh]

I think a lot about how I will transition to gray one day because I have solid memories of my mom attempting to grow hers out from red dye..then giving up after a year as she hated the stark demarcation line. I hope to do mine in a blended way so I am not discouraged by the comments of others (I am sensitive to them, I just am)

I think for me my plan is light blond highlights and brown lowlights based on my natural color and using on toners as I grow out. They have toners that can take the blond right to grey if I am ready for that.
If I tone my blond hair ashy (or grey) the new greys will come in more blended. As far as the dark roots that aren't gray..the toner will slightly lighten them and at least get in a similar tone and help them blend with the lowlights.
As the natural hair grows in I would maybe highlight roots a few times..using only very few foils and reducing the amount each time, trying to leave as much natural grey as possible and keep toning the blond bits to match. I will also lowlight the blond length bits dark also during that time in a pattern that match how my new growth (ratio of dark to grey) was coming in.

Once the greys are at ear-length I will stop the dye completely, tone one last time and then grow out the dye. I figure at ombre starts to look ok at ear length..plus I can wear up and see mostly natural.
I assume I will layer a bit at that point also to help things blend more also.

I have seen some young people sporting grey ombres. They look great so maybe I just have a salon take me straight to that in one sitting and grow all in natural after that..just toning as needed.

I wish I didn't think about this as much as I do..but it is something I will have to deal with considering I currently dye. It's on my mind each time I try and cover my greys (it's getting harder and harder they they become dye resistant.) I recently put bleach highlights in my hair even though I wanted to try to grow out darker due to this issue of dye not covering as well anymore. I am really at a crossroad myself with all this stuff even though I do not plan on going grey until age 50.

Dulce, you pics are fantastic and I thank you for posting them. You transition was gorgeous.

[SilverUnicorn]

I'm 41 years old, and I have a lot of gray hair. I'm salt and pepper.

Unlike many women, I never covered my grays. I don't mind gray hair. In fact, I like them because they make me look older (I have a baby face, and always looked too young for my age).

But here's the irony: I still get CARDED when I buy alcohol. It's terribly embarrassing. Also, some people think I DYED my hair gray (like adding highlights). They thought my grays were not natural. Really?? Who dyes their hair gray?? LOL

[chen bao jun]

I never ever worried about going gray. Honestly. I always knew I was never going to dye my hair.
Silver Unicorn, the last time I got carded, it was my 42nd birthday. Me and hubby went out to celebrate at a dinner theater and the waiter refused to give me my white wine until I showed my driver's license, I was so humiliated.
I used to really stress about looking younger than my age. It sounds romantic but it was actually no fun at all after a certain point. I didn't like being in my late 30's and my early 40's and trying to have credibility as a teacher in college, which I was doing them and continually be taken as a student. Also, people used to talk down to me so much. I am careful now not to do that to younger people--I used to hate people my own age or younger patronizing me because they assumed I was a 'kid'.
Now I am 57, nobody thinks I'm a teenager anymore, fortunately. I think I look like I'm in my 40's now, which is a much better age to look. My husband and kids think I look like I'm in my late 30's, but I actually think there's not much difference between those ages in looks, usually. I can't tell a 37 year old from a 42 year very well usually but for some reason, people think 30 sounds better than 40.
I still do get people doing the 'when you are my age' thing when I AM their age, or older, but now it's not so much assuming I'm an ignoramus about life in general (why do people assume young people are?) but that I don't know about the aches and pains of being nearly 60, but actually I do.
There are situations in which looking much younger can be an asset. My one grandmother came to the United States at age 60 and went straight to school to study nursing (she never became a nurse but got some type of nursing degree that was lower). It was easy for her to get a job once she finished because people assumed she was twenty years younger, and she kept working until 81, without issues as--how about this--an old people's companion! The last guy she worked for was about 85, and had no idea they were contemporaries. She pushed him around in his wheel chair and did everything he needed done and he had no idea. (she didn't let on because she said, when people 'hear a number' they start assuming things, but otherwise they go by what you can actually do).
I had one aunt who got married at age 38, back in the day when you were considered an 'old maid' at 30. the 26 year old man who married her might or might not have married a woman 12 years older, he was in love with her--but she didn't feel like telling him the truth and putting him to the test. They both died within the last couple of years--she had been taking care of HIM for years until she had a catastrophic fall and died quickly. Then he could not function without her and he died, still with no clue that she was so much older. We kids were told NEVER to tell Uncle Auntie's age.
In my case, my husband has always known that I'm a year older than he is (we met in college, couldn't hide this if I tried) and I don't currently work (due to choice, family reasons) so I don't need to lie about that either.
Other than work reasons or romantic reasons, I think people only feel flattered to be taken for younger because America is a youth oriented society. Where I was born, older people get more respect and people pull rank when they are older. People have even been known to add a few years to their age back there. Not as young people trying to get married, but once they are all settled down and want respect in the community, people say they are older than they are, women as well as men, in several cases I know of, at people's deaths when their children saw their birth certificates, they were startled at years added on.

[FrozenBritannia]

Does anyone else find that white/silver hair grows faster than the rest?? I have two white hairs (probably more but these two are right near my bangs so I can see them easily) and When I first spotted them they were about two inches long, now they are at least eight to ten inches long, in less than a years time.
I haven't decided what to do about them yet, I quite like white hair, but I'm only 29.

[lapushka]

Does anyone else find that white/silver hair grows faster than the rest?? I have two white hairs (probably more but these two are right near my bangs so I can see them easily) and When I first spotted them they were about two inches long, now they are at least eight to ten inches long, in less than a years time.
I haven't decided what to do about them yet, I quite like white hair, but I'm only 29.

It's the exact opposite for me. My grays (well white hairs actually) are all shorter than my colored hair. That's why I originally thought they might not grow as long. But everyone here put me at ease.

[luluj]

There has been some recent discussion about going gray and rude remarks from others, unsolicited opinions etc. I have been wondering whether to and how to transition to gray myself. I think my grays and sparklies are really pretty but part of me feels that by growing them I will in a sense be saying goodbye to my youth and it will be "proof" that I am ageing. Also I fear the rude comments which I know will come.... So I thought it would be nice to have a thread to discuss it here! We all need support to do this!

You will not be saying goodbye to your youth, Sarahlabyrinth, not if you are a "young at heart person" who enjoys life. You will be the same person you are now, with a different hair colour, nothing else about you should change. True, others may see you in a different light, but what matters, exclusively, is how you see yourself.

What I found to be the most difficult part of the whole going natural process was the actual transitioning from dyed hair to my silver hair. Some stick it out, not wanting to lose their length, while others, like me, choose to pixie. Personally, I felt better with very short, all natural healthy hair. I disliked the skunk stripe against my oxidizing coloured hair, it was not a good look, in my opinion. I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who have the confidence to keep their length and rock the ombré look, though. They radiate self confidence and mostly they are very comfortable in their own skin, a truly wonderful state of mind to be in.

All this said, we need to consider the best reason to give up the dye, the toxicity of the hair dye itself. When you start having to cover your roots every few weeks, as I did, this becomes a very real health concern.

I am enjoying this thread so much, thanks for starting it! :blossom:

[dulce]

Luluj,I love your silver curls,your was one of the first beautiful silvers I noticed when I first joined.And you are right about the health concerns about dye,funny when we are younger and dyeing we never think about that but we should.

[Agnes Hannah]

I am very grey now,about 70%. I used to dye it dark brown to hide the greys, but after joining LHC I started to dye it lightest ash brown, and now have switched to light ash blonde. I am mid brown naturally, so the idea is to transition as best as I can. it looks like natural highlights at the moment, so I feel better about it, there is no obvious demarcation line, so I can leave it longer between colouring. My temple hairs are pure white, and I like them. I'm on the way!

[luluj]

Luluj,I love your silver curls,your was one of the first beautiful silvers I noticed when I first joined.And you are right about the health concerns about dye,funny when we are younger and dyeing we never think about that but we should.

This is such a flattering comment, dulce, thank-you so very much! Of course, your own hair is quite enviable, I love your silvering pattern and the length, so lovely!

[dulce]

Thanks luluj! I think we are close in colour but our curl pattern is different..

[Allie_snowflake]

I'm so glad you started this thread! I've been toying with the idea after seeing so many beautiful silver manes here. What I thought was horrid ash brown, is actually a nice silvery color. My main concern growing out was trying to judge how much gray/white I actually have. I've been a henna-head for over three years so I've got to do some henna gloss tests to ease the stark line. Here are som pix I took today to get an idea of how much gray I have. I've never let my roots grow out is much after I started henna. I'm planning on growing another month then using a gloss. I have a big family wedding at the end of August so I must not have roots then! If the gloss works fine, I'll do another gloss with a little less henna but if it looks bad, I'll do a full henna app and start over after the wedding.
https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5318/14265708718_1d89c4f1b7.jpg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/alliewinter/14265708718/)

I love my red streaks so I'm looking forward to the ombré but I am imagining many comments about the transition. My mom told me 12 years ago that long hair was a kid thing and to find a style soon! She absolutely loathes long dull gray straggly hair (her words, but she's never seen the likes of Dulce and Luluj and all of the other beautiful examples here!) I can't wait to be below classic with red up to my mid back!

[luluj]

I'm so glad you started this thread! I've been toying with the idea after seeing so many beautiful silver manes here. What I thought was horrid ash brown, is actually a nice silvery color. My main concern growing out was trying to judge how much gray/white I actually have. I've been a henna-head for over three years so I've got to do some henna gloss tests to ease the stark line. Here are som pix I took today to get an idea of how much gray I have. I've never let my roots grow out is much after I started henna. I'm planning on growing another month then using a gloss. I have a big family wedding at the end of August so I must not have roots then! If the gloss works fine, I'll do another gloss with a little less henna but if it looks bad, I'll do a full henna app and start over after the wedding.
https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5318/14265708718_1d89c4f1b7.jpg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/alliewinter/14265708718/)

I love my red streaks so I'm looking forward to the ombré but I am imagining many comments about the transition. My mom told me 12 years ago that long hair was a kid thing and to find a style soon! She absolutely loathes long dull gray straggly hair (her words, but she's never seen the likes of Dulce and Luluj and all of the other beautiful examples here!) I can't wait to be below classic with red up to my mid back!

You certainly do have some fine looking silvers, Allie_snowflake, another month from now they will be quite a bit more noticeable. I have never experimented with henna myself, but it sounds like you have a very good plan set up. I do hope you continue to post progress photos, I am very interested to see how you get along.

Thank-you for the compliment, it was very sweet of you! :blossom:

[cathair]

I can't help finding comments about saying goodbye to ones youth because one has some white hair very strange and slightly troubling. But I come at this from a very different point of view, because I got my first white hairs at 15 (which I am sure many of you have heard about before, sorry). This isn't unusual. When found my white hair, I was with a friends Mum who have a stunning white pixie cut and had started greying at 16. I have another friend too who started at 14.

I now have fat white streaks at 29 and realistically probably haven't been able to hide my white since my mid twenties, although I was in some denial about how much I had. We must be so used to people dying their and covering their whites that people have no idea what age this really occurs at. I'm not saying everyone will get white hair in their teens or twenties, but it certainly is not unusual. So why should women in the forties feel so uncomfortable about this?

I can only call on my own experience when I think about this. On the one hand there is pressure from people who find it amusing to point out white hair or are rude or mean and tell people to cover it up. But I am not one who takes other opinions about my appearance on board easily after dressing in quite extreme ways earlier on in my life and even knowing this I still wasn't comfortable to begin with.

So I have come/am coming to the conclusion recently that is has more to do with self image, the image you hold inside your head when you think of yourself and your identity. I was proud of being dark haired. Having hair that was nearly black and very pale skin was part of my identity, it was how I saw myself. When I looked at myself in the mirror or in photos the discrepancy was so large and striking, it was a shock to see myself.

It's almost like a mourning process. When it's shocking to see your white hair, that is a kind of denial. I have been repeatedly shocked by it over the last year or so, because my white streaks have become much stronger so quickly. Then I went through various kinds of sadness and disappointment, then probably swung back between denial and being sad until I tolerated it. Eventually I finally accepted it. When I did I was happy, even proud.

I think now my internal image of myself is catching up. It's no longer shocking when I see myself. I no longer give two figs about what other people have to say about my white hair, where as at the beginning of the year I probably did.

I have been attending a course of the last few weeks with people I hadn't met before. At the end of the course I told by a few people the first thing they noticed about me was my white hair. I didn't care. Asked them to guess my age, no one guessed any older than I am. So what have I really lost by not dying my hair?

I hope that those who want transition can find the courage an enjoy it. And those who are new to having white hair can accept it and be proud of it.

[luluj]

Thanks luluj! I think we are close in colour but our curl pattern is different..

You are most welcome, dulce. I see you are a 2c/3a, interesting enough that is exactly the same as me, although after playing around with up-dos and such I can end up being a 2a. :p

I do know that the longer my hair gets, the less curls I have, just by nature of weight alone.

[neko_kawaii]

I can't help finding comments about saying goodbye to ones youth because one has some white hair very strange and slightly troubling.

I'm with you there. I've known a few women who went completely white/grey/silver in their 20s and they were beautiful! My favorite uncle is a youthful 65 years. If he hasn't "grown up" by this point I doubt he ever will and that suggests no one has to.

[luluj]

cathair, may I say how much I enjoyed reading your post, just now, it was surely very thought provoking. I especially liked it when you said, and I quote...

"I think now my internal image of myself is catching up. It's not longer shocking when I see myself. I no longer give two figs about what other people have to say about my white hair, where as at the beginning of the year I probably did.

I have been attending a course of the last few weeks with people I hadn't met before. At the end of the course I told by a few people the first thing they noticed about me was my white hair. I didn't care. Asked them to guess my age, no one guessed any older than I am. So what have I really lost by not dying my hair?

I hope that those who want transition can find the courage an enjoy it. And those who are new to having white hair can accept it and be proud of it."

You mentioned getting your first white hair at only fifteen years of age and then you said that many of us may have heard your story before. I have not heard your story before and I would be very interested to hear it now!

[chen bao jun]

But I want to be a grown up.
I loved being young but I wouldn't do it again for anything (especially when I look at my kids). I think as we get older, we romanticize youth--being young is HARD.
Older people can be agile, athletic, intelligent, good-looking, love life, laugh hard and all of those things. Plus the wisdom that comes only with experience, and less insecurities and doubts. Being young means being uncertain about everything, having others always telling you what to do, and having a lot to learn (although obviously there are lot of good and fun things about it, too). To everything there is a season--to be young forever sounds like a curse a bad fairy would put on someone--something that sounds good but isn't, like the Midas touch---

[cathair]

cathair, may I say how much I enjoyed reading your post, just now, it was surely very thought provoking.

I'm glad you enjoyed reading my post :) I have been giving it more thought since replying to mamaherrera in her "what is considered graying? (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=123669)" thread.

I really do think it takes a while for a persons self image to update. Or certainly for me anyway. I can remember when I was at school, if I thought of myself I would always picture myself as being 12, up until I left when I was 16. Then later on, myself image stayed as an 18 year old until I was about 21. Then when your self image catches up to where you actually are, it's almost like leveling up, because that acceptance allows you to move on. I feel like that about my white hair too.


You mentioned getting your first white hair at only fifteen years of age and then you said that many of us may have heard your story before. I have not heard your story before and I would be very interested to hear it now!

I mean really that I feel like I have been carping on a bit about getting white hair early on these forums. I was sure you would all be thinking, 'yeah, yeah, heard this one before!' :)

I can remember exactly where I was at what I was doing when I found my first white hair though. I was at a friends house, the one who's Mum had the very pretty white spiky pixie I mentioned earlier. I was very fortunate I was there. I was pretty shocked when I found this white hair because I didn't know it was possible. I spent ages inspecting it, wondering whether it was really white of a freak blonde hair. My Dad had been white haired all the time I had known him and I had been teased a lot at school for having a Dad who looked 'old enough to be your grandad'. So I was naturally quite scared of what would happen if my hair went white. I knew he was older than me when his turned.

Her Mum was able to share her story about when she found her first white hair. She had also had very dark hair which started greying at 16. She was able to explain to me that it was normal and that I wasn't ill (or worse dying, I think white hair can trigger fear about mortality). She was quite an inspiration really, because you couldn't call her old looking. She was very tall and thin and kind of a rocker I guess, always looked very glamorous. So although I probably couldn't accept it, I did have someone to look up to.

I thought it was just the one hair, but a little later on when I was doing my exams I found more. I guess they have been coming in slowly but surely since. I always thought when my hair did go white I would dye it blue, because I couldn't never bleach it light enough to get a decent blue. Now my white is here I don't want to. I'm not quite sure why, partly the effort and money but I think there is more to it.

How old were you when you got your first white hair luluj? Can you remember where you were?

[cathair]

But I want to be a grown up.
I loved being young but I wouldn't do it again for anything (especially when I look at my kids). I think as we get older, we romanticize youth--being young is HARD.
Older people can be agile, athletic, intelligent, good-looking, love life, laugh hard and all of those things. Plus the wisdom that comes only with experience, and less insecurities and doubts. Being young means being uncertain about everything, having others always telling you what to do, and having a lot to learn (although obviously there are lot of good and fun things about it, too). To everything there is a season--to be young forever sounds like a curse a bad fairy would put on someone--something that sounds good but isn't, like the Midas touch---

I love that line about the curse!! I may have to write that down and remind myself of that every now and again :) I'm sure I have much more to learn yet. But I certainly would not want to relive my early twenties for anything!

[luluj]

I'm glad you enjoyed reading my post :) I have been giving it more thought since replying to mamaherrera in her "what is considered graying? (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=123669)" thread.

I really do think it takes a while for a persons self image to update. Or certainly for me anyway. I can remember when I was at school, if I thought of myself I would always picture myself as being 12, up until I left when I was 16. Then later on, myself image stayed as an 18 year old until I was about 21. Then when your self image catches up to where you actually are, it's almost like leveling up, because that acceptance allows you to move on. I feel like that about my white hair too.



I mean really that I feel like I have been carping on a bit about getting white hair early on these forums. I was sure you would all be thinking, 'yeah, yeah, heard this one before!' :)

I can remember exactly where I was at what I was doing when I found my first white hair though. I was at a friends house, the one who's Mum had the very pretty white spiky pixie I mentioned earlier. I was very fortunate I was there. I was pretty shocked when I found this white hair because I didn't know it was possible. I spent ages inspecting it, wondering whether it was really white of a freak blonde hair. My Dad had been white haired all the time I had known him and I had been teased a lot at school for having a Dad who looked 'old enough to be your grandad'. So I was naturally quite scared of what would happen if my hair went white. I knew he was older than me when his turned.

Her Mum was able to share her story about when she found her first white hair. She had also had very dark hair which started greying at 16. She was able to explain to me that it was normal and that I wasn't ill (or worse dying, I think white hair can trigger fear about mortality). She was quite an inspiration really, because you couldn't call her old looking. She was very tall and thin and kind of a rocker I guess, always looked very glamorous. So although I probably couldn't accept it, I did have someone to look up to.

I thought it was just the one hair, but a little later on when I was doing my exams I found more. I guess they have been coming in slowly but surely since. I always thought when my hair did go white I would dye it blue, because I couldn't never bleach it light enough to get a decent blue. Now my white is here I don't want to. I'm not quite sure why, partly the effort and money but I think there is more to it.

How old were you when you got your first white hair luluj? Can you remember where you were?

Thank-you so much for sharing your story with me, cathair, yet another thoroughly enjoyable post! :flower:

You were very fortunate to have a glamorous, thoughtful, role model who was able to calm your fears. Your description of her reminds me of someone in my own life, a very dear friend, in fact.

I found my first silver hair/hairs at 28 years old, so I was not at all shocked by them, many of my friends who were close to my age had them also. I did colour my hair to hide them, but I enjoyed changing my hair colour and routinely did so, even before I found my silvers. I finally gave up the bottle in December of 2008.

ETA.... I was at the hair salon when I found those first silver hairs, sitting in the stylists chair waiting for her to start my cut. The lights were bright and the mirror was large, so they showed up very well!

[Teazel]

I think my grays and sparklies are really pretty but part of me feels that by growing them I will in a sense be saying goodbye to my youth and it will be "proof" that I am ageing.

Maybe this feeling is easier to deal with if you start greying early, as I did. I found my first silvers when I was about 14, I think. When I gave up dyeing I was in my 30s and still looked very young, in spite of my silver streaks, so perhaps I didn't associate the grey with fading youth so strongly... however, I do remember a bit of a grieving process going on.

On the other hand, my mother is 74 and still feels that she's not ready to go grey yet. :lol: For her, grey hair definitely means "old", and her friends express horror whenever she tentatively wonders about whether she should stop dyeing and grow out her pixie, to achieve her dream of rocking an elegant silver bun like her granny had. "But it will make you look so old!" they say. Um, hello.

So I don't know, this seems to be something that has to be faced sooner or later, if we're lucky enough to keep on living, and from what I've observed it doesn't get any easier with age.

[Crystawni]

I was lucky that the trend for lighter ends came into fashion when growing out my faded temple colour (from a dye that deepens over a few days, similar to Grecian 2000). I just cut in a few layers to bring my speckled, untouched underlayer out, and people honestly thought I'd dyed it that way. I was also lucky to meet my birth mum when she was 55 and had a full head of soft, white hair. She had had my tawny colour before that, so I had a idea where I was headed. I think seeing her rocking her natural colour helped me trust that it's okay to "be yourself", at whatever age.

I remember finding my first white hair. I was 26, and hubster was 24. We were out on the porch having our usual smoke (gave up soon after, actually), and both found our first whites at the same time. One each. So, we've been in transition for 20 years, and loving it.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Maybe this feeling is easier to deal with if you start greying early, as I did. I found my first silvers when I was about 14, I think. When I gave up dyeing I was in my 30s and still looked very young, in spite of my silver streaks, so perhaps I didn't associate the grey with fading youth so strongly... however, I do remember a bit of a grieving process going on.

On the other hand, my mother is 74 and still feels that she's not ready to go grey yet. :lol: For her, grey hair definitely means "old", and her friends express horror whenever she tentatively wonders about whether she should stop dyeing and grow out her pixie, to achieve her dream of rocking an elegant silver bun like her granny had. "But it will make you look so old!" they say. Um, hello.

So I don't know, this seems to be something that has to be faced sooner or later, if we're lucky enough to keep on living, and from what I've observed it doesn't get any easier with age.

You are quite right Teazel! Do you still have some dye on your ends then, it looks like it, or are the ends your natural colour? Also may I be cheeky and ask for a length shot of that glorious looking hair? :)

[dulce]

I second the length shot! I love your hair Teazel,such a beautiful colour..

[Islandgrrl]

I love it, Chen. So beautiful!


Dulce, you are gorgeous.
Here is a pic of my hair in which you can see the grey.
http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a481/uloma1/100_2423_zps3678df15.jpg (http://s1280.photobucket.com/user/uloma1/media/100_2423_zps3678df15.jpg.html)

[Teazel]

You are quite right Teazel! Do you still have some dye on your ends then, it looks like it, or are the ends your natural colour? Also may I be cheeky and ask for a length shot of that glorious looking hair? :)

There's no dye left at all, it's all natural. I never used a permanent dye, just the sort that washes out completely after a while - thankfully! And that was over 10 years ago now.

You can be cheeky.... :p I'm afraid this pic taken last month is the best I can do for a length shot: I was only interested in how the ends are looking, so that's all you get:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10807&d=1399687133

[dulce]

Oh-wow!Teazel,it is truly lovely! The colour and the length ,even your hem is pretty!

[Teazel]

Thank you so much, dulce! :flowers:

[Crystawni]

:thud: Oh, wow, Teazel! I wanna be like you when I grow up! Um, down. Um, when my hair does, that is, fairytale ends and all! :D Not sure how I'd go for the length, really, but you are my inspiration, that's for sure. I love how yours has coloured in. Exotic sparklies!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Teazel, your hair gleams and glows! Beautiful!

[mamaherrera]

To add in . . . I think it's very important you have high self esteem. I don't, and it's hard to be a perfectionist. I can say that if someone made a comment about my white hairs ( I henna them, but there are quite a good few) I would take it very hard. Because i have low self esteem. And because it bothers me to be different. In my social group, (Hispanic women) you never see someone my age (33) with white hair, so it would definitely be the attention getter. Especially because I henna them so frequently, to all of a sudden see all these white hairs that were hidden, it would be shocking. I got my first at 28 and my thought was I"m going to go white, because I was young yet/ naive and I didn't know how the white process works, (that it can go slow, stall, speed up, etc0+) so I was in fear. Kind of like a young girl who gets her period and no one has explained to her what it is or why or how it works. That fear of not knowing. I just never imagined that people got white hair at my age. I've been thinking too now as I've been getting more together, closer together and more at the same time, how will I do updos later one when I have more. Even if I henna once a week (the parts in front) when all those little tiny white roots are together, they're still going to be seen. So I do wonder. It's a tough call, I guess I will play it day by day and hope mine slow down. I figure at 40, it will be much easier for me to accept, but meanwhile I don't want to be depressed and have this take away my self image of feeling like I'm 33 right now, and enjoy my youth (if you call that youth) and not feel "old' for the white hairs.

Catgirl-so true. When I don't look in the mirror, I feel and many times think I look just like I did at 18, which I know can't be true. It's this fear of aging and part of it is just reality settling in. . . . In my heart I feel like I've not changed, but the mirror and my white hairs is telling me that yes. Those two have to be joined together in unison for acceptance to work.

[Othala]

Teazel, I love your hair. Very inspiring.

[luluj]

There's no dye left at all, it's all natural. I never used a permanent dye, just the sort that washes out completely after a while - thankfully! And that was over 10 years ago now.

You can be cheeky.... :p I'm afraid this pic taken last month is the best I can do for a length shot: I was only interested in how the ends are looking, so that's all you get:



http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10807&d=1399687133

Oh my, your hair is stunning, Teazle! :crush:

[swearnsue]

I was the one told that I would look like AN OLD HAG if I let my long hair go gray. It was almost the worst comment I could get about my hair. I'm glad it happened because I came here and posted about it and received so much support that I feel more determined than ever to grow in my silvers.

I have a freezer and pantry full of henna and every week or so I had been thinking I could just touch up the roots, maybe mix in a bunch of cassia into the mix and create an ombre subtle change to gray thing.

So, to have the "worse" happen, the worse comment made and to survive and thrive in spite of it has been very healing. I like my hair now more than before.

I asked my DH about a week ago what he thought of me being non-conformist in my looks. Having long hair going gray, I don't usually wear makeup and never wear fashionable clothes. I'm a jeans and t-shirt type. He looked at me like it had never occurred to him to even think about it. He says I look fine. (for him that is quite a complement lol) He said he would rather I look natural than try to look super youthful because he says that never works anyway.

So the "hag incident" has actually helped to remove my insecurities and fears about going gray.

P.S. I found my first gray eyelash the other day! I can't find it now but I swear it was there.

[swearnsue]

I was the one told that I would look like AN OLD HAG if I let my long hair go gray. It was almost the worst comment I could get about my hair. I'm glad it happened because I came here and posted about it and received so much support that I feel more determined than ever to grow in my silvers.

I have a freezer and pantry full of henna and every week or so I had been thinking I could just touch up the roots, maybe mix in a bunch of cassia into the mix and create an ombre subtle change to gray thing.

So, to have the "worse" happen, the worse comment made and to survive and thrive in spite of it has been very healing. I like my hair now more than before.

I asked my DH about a week ago what he thought of me being non-conformist in my looks. Having long hair going gray, I don't usually wear makeup and never wear fashionable clothes. I'm a jeans and t-shirt type. He looked at me like it had never occurred to him to even think about it. He says I look fine. (for him that is quite a complement lol) He said he would rather I look natural than try to look super youthful because he says that never works anyway.

So the "hag incident" has actually helped to remove my insecurities and fears about going gray.

P.S. I found my first gray eyelash the other day! I can't find it now but I swear it was there.

[Willowyn]

Luluj, Dulce, and Teazel, you have such lovely hair!! Wavy too. Sigh..........
I'm always so impressed, and delighted to see pics (Dulce, that collage was AWESOME). My straight hair has been going gray (white in the front, actually) since I was in my early 30s. I never sought to cover my grays, but instead played with henna for a number of years for fun and coppery goodness (I have fond memories of the delicious smell), and then the 90s with frosting and highlights and (gulp) perms, and then grew out the perm and settled into my current routine that includes a blonde color that manages to add a warm tone to everything while taking advantage of the wild natural variations I already have. The thing is, I prefer the warm tone, and that's what matters. I'm not trying to avoid getting old (hell, THAT won't work) or lacking confidence or conforming with anyone else's expectations (including those of my DH). It's simply that I like the color, as well as the length. And I've given myself permission to change my mind about either of those things at any time.
I think it's important to celebrate each person's journey and support women (and men) who are or wish to go gray but feel that they're getting other messages, internally or externally, about what they "should" do. I hope that we can be supportive of what each person "wants" to do.
My two cents....
:twocents:

[Teazel]

Thank you so much for the compliments, Crystawni, Sarahlabyrinth, Othala, luluj and Willowyn! You shore up my determination to stay away from dye (and scissors)! :wink: :D Maybe one day I'll have ankle-length silver hair. Wouldn't that be something?

[PrincessPhoebe]

What a fantastic thread! Really inspirational photos from dulce and Teazel (among others).

I only have a few silvers at the moment, mostly around my hairline at the front. I'm planning on letting them grow in, because dye is just too damaging and they seem quite dye resistant anyway. My main worry is that my colouring is extremely warm and so I fear that the cool silvers will look strange. So I will be holding on to this thought:


It's like having your own shimmering, exotic wood to mould into any pattern, at your fingertips.

I have toyed with the idea of trying cassia, but reports of it being drying worry me (hair is quite dry already), plus I suspect I'm way too lazy to keep doing it on a regular basis :rolleyes:.

[rags]

Wonderful, wonderful pictures, everyone!

Princess Pheobe, I don't know about everyone else, but for me when my silvers started really coming in all over - my natural colour cooled even more than it was. That's fairly normal , I think.

I don't know when I saw my first greys - but I know I had that streak in my siggy when I was 25. I played with dye for a while, but when I became ill and lost over half of my hair I let it grow out (wasn't allowed to dye by the docs and didn't want to damage what hair I had left anyway!). It wasn't traumatic for me, though the demarcation line was quite annoying . I just used a lot of braids, clips, and headbands to disguise things or at least make them look better (French or Dutch braids blend everything together in a cool way). I did chop to shoulder from TB, but that was due to the extreme hair loss. I kept it short for a while and that was More than enoughfor the natural colour to grow out.

Back then I still had only the streak, and a baby face. I routinely got asked who dyed my hair that way! Nowdays I'm quite silver on the crown, though it hasn't made its way to the ends yet, so I look as though I'm wearing a fake bun some days!

I've been told many times that I would look years younger if I dyed my hair. Well, there is the fact that with the streak in my twenties and thirties, people still routinely put me at 5-10 years younger than I am. Nowdays they don't - but I'm coming up on 50. Why should I WANT to look like a 20 year old? This is me. This is my age. If anyone else doesn't like it they can look away.

That said - I've no problem with people who DO choose to dye, and realize that some people have to dye in order to keep or get jobs in today's economy. I think if you like it, like Willowyn - have fun!! I think having to dye to get a job though is just wrong. It's a fact of life, however, and can't be overlooked.

We've covered many, many of these issues on the Renegray thread (the salt and pepper thread). Several people began growing out natural and had to dye because of work or looking for work.

The one thing I can tell you from my own experience and from being on that massive Renegray thread since it was started - do NOT think your natural colour will look horrid when you only have a couple if inches grown in, it WILL look bad against the dye - there's no way around it. You can't judge how you'll like it though, until you get it down around your face. I told everyone chin length is a good place to tell, and most agreed. Then you can see your natural colour, you can kind f hold the dyed bits away and just look at your natural colour and see if you like it. The first few months are the hardest.

Sorry for the long post!

[Willowyn]

Sounds like good advice, Rags!
And.... I hope you are well now.
:)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Just wondering - how long would it take to grow the gray out far enough so that the dyed hair shows only in the bun? Would it be less than a year?

[ErinLeigh]

Luluj, Dulce, and Teazel, you have such lovely hair!! Wavy too. Sigh..........
I'm always so impressed, and delighted to see pics (Dulce, that collage was AWESOME). My straight hair has been going gray (white in the front, actually) since I was in my early 30s. I never sought to cover my grays, but instead played with henna for a number of years for fun and coppery goodness (I have fond memories of the delicious smell), and then the 90s with frosting and highlights and (gulp) perms, and then grew out the perm and settled into my current routine that includes a blonde color that manages to add a warm tone to everything while taking advantage of the wild natural variations I already have. The thing is, I prefer the warm tone, and that's what matters. I'm not trying to avoid getting old (hell, THAT won't work) or lacking confidence or conforming with anyone else's expectations (including those of my DH). It's simply that I like the color, as well as the length. And I've given myself permission to change my mind about either of those things at any time.
I think it's important to celebrate each person's journey and support women (and men) who are or wish to go gray but feel that they're getting other messages, internally or externally, about what they "should" do. I hope that we can be supportive of what each person "wants" to do.
My two cents....
:twocents:

wonderful post. Thank you. :)

[ErinLeigh]

Just wondering - how long would it take to grow the gray out far enough so that the dyed hair shows only in the bun? Would it be less than a year?


Ear length would be approx 1 year and should be long enough taht natural hair is most of what is seen in the "slicked back" part. 2 years at SL all dye should be in bun.
I will say this though..when I let my roots even get one inch long, when I put my hair up, from the front it looks like my natural color. Only from the sides so you see my dye.

One option could be to only do a few highlights around the face to blend and let the rest grow..then transition off the highlights. That may help in dealing with any straight demarcation line and would probably need not be done more than twice. It would look great with updos I think.

[höpönasu]

There's nothing wrong with going gray. I find it a bit weird with people hiding their grays at any cost, it's just a natural thing to happen. You don't have to say goodbye to your youth, it's only gray hair. :flower:

[rags]

There's nothing wrong with going gray. I find it a bit weird with people hiding their grays at any cost, it's just a natural thing to happen. You don't have to say goodbye to your youth, it's only gray hair. :flower:

I do agree with this - but i ALSO agree that some people quite simply prefer another hair colour, and that's good too! Whether they dislike grey hair or just don't want it yet, there's nothing wrong with that. I just want everyone else (the majority) to realize that some of us feel that way about our GREY hair! (I actually prefer mine and wish it would finish turning already!)

[Willowyn]

I do agree with this - but i ALSO agree that some people quite simply prefer another hair colour, and that's good too! Whether they dislike grey hair or just don't want it yet, there's nothing wrong with that. I just want everyone else (the majority) to realize that some of us feel that way about our GREY hair! (I actually prefer mine and wish it would finish turning already!)
Thank you, Rags. It's funny, but sometimes I feel as though some who have chosen gray (not you) sit in judgment of those who have chosen to color their hair. I don't happen to like my natural color, especially not with my pale skin. If my gray and white was a gorgeous name of varied silver like yours, AND flattered my skin tone the way yours does, I'd probably consider it. This is not insecurity or anyone else telling me what to do. It's simply my preference. And someday it might change. My hairdresser is totally supportive and has had a plan in place for years if and when I decide to stop coloring. The transition is much like what ErinLeigh describes.

ETA: In keeping with the purpose and spirit of this thread, I'd like to add that I'm in the cheering section for anyone who is considering or going through the transition to gray!!

[Willowyn]

Duplicate post (this is why editing on a small tablet is a bad idea for me).

[sleepingduty]

I had been dyeing my hair for so long I didn't know what was underneath. After learning about how to take care of my hair, I decided I would stop dyeing and go all natural. I let it grow for about six months and found I was 100% silver on the canopy and maybe 60% grey underneath. I have a pale yellow skin tone and the silver totally washed me out. I think many women, especially on this forum rock silver and grey hair. I am not one of them. Through experimentation with cassia and a small amount of henna, I have a beautiful warm golden copper that I love. For now, I am satisfied. I also am grateful that this forum has such a wealth of information everyone is willing to share.:beerchug:

[Willowyn]

I had been dyeing my hair for so long I didn't know what was underneath. After learning about how to take care of my hair, I decided I would stop dyeing and go all natural. I let it grow for about six months and found I was 100% silver on the canopy and maybe 60% grey underneath. I have a pale yellow skin tone and the silver totally washed me out. I think many women, especially on this forum rock silver and grey hair. I am not one of them. Through experimentation with cassia and a small amount of henna, I have a beautiful warm golden copper that I love. For now, I am satisfied. I also am grateful that this forum has such a wealth of information everyone is willing to share.:beerchug:
:beerchug:

[Hopeful65]

I have been growing out all the dye and bleach. It has been 2 years and 9 months so far, and I have about 2-3 inches left to cut off. My hair is between bsl and waist. I have a lot of gray hair, but surprisingly I'm not minding it. It doesn't look so bad like I imagined it would. In fact I have had compliments on it, and I think my natural color goes with my eyes and skin color better. One thing I do use on it though is a 'very temporary' washout hair color called Fanciful. It washes right out with one washing, the same as leave-in conditioner would. I use the color called Sweet Cream, which is their lightest blondish color. It doesn't show up a lot as 'blonde hair', but just tones it nicely on me. I will sometimes use the White Minx color, which is lavender, to counteract any yellow tones in my hair, especially on the ends. I really like this product and thought maybe someone else would be interested in it. It is non-damaging. To me, it is like putting a tinted leave-in conditioner in your hair. You'll see a slight color tone, but your sparklies still shine through and look natural. Best of all, no roots! It is a good product to use while growing out your natural hair. One wash and it is gone.

[Haybop]

I remember when I found my first grey hair (a few days before I hit 21) I decided to not dye my hair again. 6, almost 7, years later and I still don't have that many greys but I do have two cool streaks deciding to try to grow in... and I still haven't dyed my hair ;)

I'm one of those people that thinks grey hair looks quite awesome, regardless of shade, and nowadays is not a reliable marker of age :P