what is considered graying?

[mamaherrera]

I've had white hairs for about five years. I would get a couple every month or so. But this last month I've gotten like 9 in just one month. I'm only 33. Does that mean I'm gonna get tons now, that was a lot in a short amount of time, or is that considered "graying" and not just random whites here and there??

[lapushka]

Don't panic. Seems like every post you write is in an absolute panic over something hair related. Breathe. Relax.

I got my first gray hair in my early twenties, discovered it per chance. I'm in my early forties now, that's 2 decades later and I have a small sprinkling of gray throughout my entire hair, hardly noticeable! I'd say it's about 2% gray. It can take a long long time for gray hair to "travel" through the rest of your hair. Relax. ;) And most importantly, stop counting the gray hairs!

[YamaMaya]

I've found a few and I'm 26, it's really funny actually because they're black halfway down from when I used to dye :p.

[chen bao jun]

Lapushka is right.
I got my first grey hair at age 29 and now I'm 56 going on 57 and I still am not grey enough to even be called salt and pepper yet.

[mamaherrera]

THANKS, AND i KNow I get panicy, but I've been through so much trauma with my hair (shedding in the past that lasted for years) and now all these white hairs, I'm just getting bushels of them at once, instead of getting a few at a time, so I start imagining how I'm going to be like in a few years. They're all coming in by temples/above ears and i like to put my hair up and it's hard when you have all these white roots (even if you dye) My sister was all filled in in those areas at 45, but I still have eleven years to get there, and I dont know if my whites will wait to till in by then. Hopefully I'm just going through a couple of bad months, and then they slow down again.

[lapushka]

THANKS, AND i KNow I get panicy, but I've been through so much trauma with my hair (shedding in the past that lasted for years) and now all these white hairs, I'm just getting bushels of them at once, instead of getting a few at a time, so I start imagining how I'm going to be like in a few years. They're all coming in by temples/above ears and i like to put my hair up and it's hard when you have all these white roots (even if you dye) My sister was all filled in in those areas at 45, but I still have eleven years to get there, and I dont know if my whites will wait to till in by then. Hopefully I'm just going through a couple of bad months, and then they slow down again.

I understand, completely, but there's nothing you can do about it, even if it is the start of a real (fast) graying process. So it's better to just spend that energy elsewhere. By what you said about the roots peeking in, I assume you're dying the hair? If so, every new dye job will cover it up. So, why worry? :)

[dulce]

I had a white streak in my 30's.Now I am over 60 and am not completely gray yet,most people are grayer /whiter than me who are at my age.So even though you may get some grays at a young age,it doesn't mean you will turn all gray at a young age.

[chen bao jun]

And a young face and grey hair can look very striking and attractive.
If you don't like that, as Lapushka pointed out, grey is easily dyed.
Please be at peace--and maybe look over at the renegrays thread.
I'm sorry you've been through so much.

[Sharysa]

Unfortunately, that does sound like graying. I'm 24 and I only find a few grays every year, but it sounds like this case is either due to stress or lingering health issues.

As mentioned before, it's better not to worry about it. You can't change your genetics if your sister is any indicator, but you can try to cut down on stressing out about it. And in case the grays are due to some underlying health problem, you can always get a checkup. Exercise and good eating can help a lot with your hair.

[chen bao jun]

Siblings aren't always the same. My dad and one sister and their mom never got gray. I mean like, at all. My dad was seventy when he died with his natural black hair and only a slight sprinkling of grey. I mean, if it was ten gray hairs, that was a lot. His mom and sister did get salt pepper but like in their 80's. His sister has lived to 92 and isn't all grey yet. When another sister was distinctly grey by the time she died at about 72 or 73. And yet another sister--well, she got male type pattern baldness rather than gray.
I seem to be taking after my mother, in her fifties she started developing this cruella de vil type skunk streak that is overtaking me. I don't have much gray yet, as I said, but definitely more than dad and (mostly) all in one streak in the middle of my head. It doesn't start at the front though, so I only have visible gray seen from the back.
Point is, Mamaherrera, there is no way to tell what will happen, but you can look attractive regardless. Stress is bad, but sometimes cannot be avoided, if you have unavoidable stress, baby yourself (and your hair) as much as possible.

[mamaherrera]

I appreciate everyone chiming in. I guess getting ten white hairs in every month in the last two months doesn't sound very promising then, huh?? Kind of depressing, to accept the fact that I'm graying. I too, when I started got a few every year, but these last two months, I've just been finding more and more. ANd my point is, I'm not taking after my sister, because she got white hairs in the same area, but at a later age, in her 40's and I"m getting that same area in my 30's. It's tough when everyone else in my social circle that is my age, have none, considering the way they do their updos, and such. It is just that I feel like it's my fault, because of stress and extreme worry over many situations (hair shedding has been one, fearing male pattern baldness, kids, life,etc) so I feel like all these white hairs are my fault for not handling life in a good way. So I beat myself up. And I'm not good with change, I could handle 6 a year, but now 10 a month, I feel like I'm losing the battle, and it's one thing to cover a few grays as opposed to covering up sections.

[mamaherrera]

And my question to the rest of you who posted, ( who aren't gray yet, but started young) would you get months where you'd notice a lot more whites and have it calm down? It's harsh to hear "You're graying" at 33, but maybe I'm still hopeful, just maybe it's a couple bad months (of getting many) and maybe it can slow down??

[Duchess Fuzzy Buns]

Hello mamaherrera :waving:
Your thread here reminds me of a quote I really love:
"Never regret getting older. It's a privilege denied to many."
This is not to say that you're old by any means, but just that as we get older our hair (and skin and everything else) will change and we'd probably all be much happier if we can keep these things in perspective. Be thankful if you have the opportunity to grow older and wiser.... I know it's difficult to recognize in a culture that is so obsessed with youth, but aging can be beautiful too. Personally, I think gray or salt and pepper hair can look really lovely. There's many gorgeous examples on this site.
And anyways, if it is somehow "your fault" because of stress or whatever, then stressing even more about it won't help, right? I hope you feel better about it soon. :flower:

[cathair]

I would have thought any white hair at all means you are greying tbh. Otherwise it becomes very subjective and who can count all their hairs?


And my question to the rest of you who posted, ( who aren't gray yet, but started young) would you get months where you'd notice a lot more whites and have it calm down? It's harsh to hear "You're graying" at 33, but maybe I'm still hopeful, just maybe it's a couple bad months (of getting many) and maybe it can slow down??

I have 4 or 5 (maybe more I am starting to lose count) white streaks now. I haven't found they have been particularly regular coming in. I seemed to develop one of my white streaks almost overnight, then there have been times where nothing seems to happen at all for a good while.

I think it's actually pretty normal to be greying at 33. People just aren't used to seeing it because so many people dye their hair. I would try not to worry about it, you have no control over it. What will be will be. If it really bothers you, you can always dye it.

[mamaherrera]

Thanks, especially, Cathair for describing me your situation. Now I don't feel so "Unnormal" to be graying at my age. OR like you said, who can define graying. Then I read somewhere that buildup of hydrogen perioxide in hair follicles causes graying AND thinning, so then I thought, gosh does that mean my hair is thinning too because I'm getting whites that aren't so much my genetics to blame?? I know, I stress too much, but thanks for chiming it, it does really help!

[chen bao jun]

Glad you feel better. You will be beautiful no matter what.
And its true that it's best to stop counting. The more you count, the more you will see.
33 is in fact a normal age for people of Caucasian descent to begin to grey.

[mamaherrera]

thanks, so even if I am graying, I'm not prematurely graying or have any reason to think I'll have thinning of hair with it. I'm still going to up my copper and see if I can slow these buggers down!! thanks

[chen bao jun]

By the way, to answer your former question--I saw my first grey at 29, but didn't see another until 40-something. Then it took maybe 5 years to see another. But now I pretty much see new ones every day. And all my new growth (shorter hairs) is grey, or silver or white or something--not sure which. But I still look like I have black hair from the front-- from the back where you see the grey streak in the middle now distinctly.
However, Caucasians (normally) start greying in their 30's, African descent (normally, there are always exceptions) don't start greying until 40's, it's a genetic difference, I don't know why it's that way. If it's any comfort, by the time you get to be a certain age, everyone thinks you are dyeing your hair anyway. No one believed me when I said I didn't until the white streak got really evident and NO one believed my 70 year old dad was not hiding hair dye somewhere. So I don't know that greying later is actually an asset,nor that it makes you look any younger in itself (or else people would not accuse you of lying about not being grey).

[mamaherrera]

Wow you did start out slow. I guess that means I'll be worse off, because I did start off like you described. . . . slow. But that was only five years ago, not ten like you. And this year, it's been like you say, 2-3 per week, that I see, I don't look so I don't know if there are more, but the ones that I've seen, it's just picked up the pace. Thanks for sharing, I was just wondering if perhaps anyone has had experience with perhaps having some whites, slowing down, etc. I mean I was just hoping that by picking up the pace, it doesnt mean I"m gonna go fast, if you get my gist. I was just curious. Maybe I'll be more slow and steady . . .Like someone (or you maybe) said, there's no way to predict, but I was just wondering how others grayed, just to know if there is variance!! Thanks again for taking the time to share.

[cathair]

It is possible that you are noticing white hair that was already there. Sometimes white hair becomes more obvious because dark hair around it naturally sheds out when it comes to the end of it's life cycle. And now that you can see some of it, you are looking for more of it underneath that you wouldn't have looked for before.

I got my first white hair when I was 15. I didn't have any solid streaks until about a year or so ago. I don't know if you can predict what rate they will come in. My Dad (who I have always known as grey haired) started in his thirties. But my Grandad on his side was completely white by the time he was 30 I am told. My Mum didn't start until her late thirties. So none of us are greying at the same rate.

I am very fortunate that when I noticed my first one I was with a friend and her Mum. Her Mum had got her first grey at 16 and had left her hair grown completely white (although in a spikey pixie) and she was very pretty. I looked up to her that made me feel a bit better. I have also recently made a friend who started greying at 14! So I don't feel alone in my greying. I hope I can make you feel less alone about it. Have you looked in the salt n pepper thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=16951)? You will find some good company in there too.

I have been quite shocked by some of my white streaks coming in to begin with. This makes it sound worse than it actually is, but it was kind of like a grieving process. I suppose because for me part of my identity was having very dark brown almost black hair. I hated the contrast between the white and the dark, made my hair look rougher textured than it is. At first it was shocking and I had to keep checking they were really there. Then I was sad and disappointed. Then I had other people pointing them out when I was outside. They wouldn't notice too much inside, but as soon as I was in sunlight they really stuck out. Then after a while I stopped caring. Now I am kind of proud of them.

I don't like the way that people feel pressured into dying their hair. To me, it's expensive, inconvenient, time consuming and in the case of some dark dyes actually bad for your health. Even if I dyed my hair, I would never get back the dark colour that I loved. I could get it darker, but it would be different. So I wouldn't love it the same. It would almost be disrespecting the old colour that I loved. If I didn't accept them for what they were, I would always be unhappy with how I looked and who I am.

I hope that by showing the world that I am not going to bust into flames by being in my twenties and having white hair, that maybe other people won't feel so uncomfortable either. Just like other ladies here are showing the world that long hair doesn't have to be cut off into a pixie once they turn forty.

You may not want to do that. You may decide that dying your hair is worth it to you. If it makes you feel better then that is great. But if you can find a way to accept what is happening, which may not be easy and may take time, you will be happier in the end. However fast or slow they come in, you have as little white now as you will probably ever have. And that shouldn't be bad or scary, it's alright to grow. Enjoy it!

</end lecture> This is where you say 'cool story bro' :)

[mamaherrera]

Thanks for sharing that. I don't know what other people mean by streaks, does that mean like 3 o 4 white hairs together?? Is that considered a streak, if it is I have like 3 or 4 streaks. Your white hairs are barely noticeable in the pics. so I don't think you have as many as I imagine when people say "streaks" I imagine like a solid streak of like 100 white hairs together or something. I admire your ability to handle it so well at a young age, too, this is my time, I guess to have to go through what you've gone through already!! Some people don't understand that it is hard when you like your natural color so well, and then you have this. thanks for understanding, sharing and just supporting me. But yes if I didn't henna them, I would have small thin streaks near my temples. . . . of all places!

[cathair]

These pictures show some of my whitest bits. I think I have streak by ear ear now, some higher up near my temples and one underneath. They are more than a few hairs together. I'm not sure how many exactly, but hopefully I can show you what I mean. I hope I won't scare you with my pictures! I don't tend to try to focus in on the white when I take better ones.

I think it really does depend on the light how much they show up. For example, in this picture, where my hair is in a bun, that is in direct sunlight in the picture next to it, it's taken indoors in artificial light. Both taken within a few days of each other. I think it sunlight the whole top half of my hair looks quite grey, but inside it still looks brown.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10402&d=1397864838

This is collage of grey bits I did when it was starting to really bothering me. I have to admit, I really don't like these pictures, they are not flattering! I think they have multiplied since I took these as well. This was last year. I am going to have to try to take some nicer pictures that show my grey!

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=7243&d=1383101070

This was a streak that surprised me, it seemed to appear very quickly. But most of it hasn't been this way it's the exception. I wouldn't have worn this out! But I had to take the picture because I didn't expect to find that steak there. You can just about see another one above it too.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10110&d=1396517323

It really is hard when you love your natural colour I agree. You kind of have to wait for your self image to catch up. I hope that you feel better about it as time passes, I know I did. Sometimes I go backwards and forwards a bout how I feel a bit, especially if I get a new white patch, which I think is allowed! But I think each time it happens I accept it faster.

I think from what I have learned here it is quite common to go grey by your temples at first. Mine has grey more closer to my ears, but certainly the whitest bits are at the front of my head, just where everyone can see them!

[chen bao jun]

Cathair, you look great.I have two friends--one got completely white by the end of her 30's and the other is completely white now at younger than age 35. they both look lovely. Grey hair and young face can be very striking, like in the Japanese anime cartoons that make young people now dye their hair grey.
I agree that there is a certain part of your identity tied in with your hair color. I do think of myself as a person with black hair, so its interesting to look at myself getting grey hair. so far I think it looks good though. I always thought, I would want to see how my grey hair came in, rather than just dyeing it right off the bat as soon as I saw a few hairs. what if it looks good? (which it does, so far). To me it looks better to have salt and pepper hair than to have dyed hair on bottom and white hair on top as you transition, especially if your hair is really black like mine. That's a matter of taste, however.
I just want my grey hair to be long. :)
Like Dulce or Rags--their hair is so pretty.

[cathair]

Thanks Chen Bao Jun :flower: that's very sweet of you to say. That's interesting you see yourself as a black hair person still and that you feel it's a part of your identity too :)

I agree I think it's nice to be able to see how your grey hair is coming in, but you are right that is a matter of taste. Since I have let mine grow in my Mum has tried to let hers grow out. She is finding it very difficult for that reason and keeps going back to deposit only dye until it is further grown out. I don't think she has any idea how much or how little white is under there because she has dyed it for so long. Also the dye has changed the colour of not white hair too, because the dye has had developer with it.

Dulce and Rags have beautiful hair. Those two are the only reason I have any doubt I could say I truly have white steaks! Theirs are stunning.

[mamaherrera]

Thanks for sharing! thanks so much. I do have I think at most, like 7 or 8 together, in different areas, like you said, above ears, at temples, etc. The most I have in a bunch is 8. That probably makes skinny streaks. Like I said, thanks for defining kind of what a streak is because I wasn't sure.

[mamaherrera]

and yes, it just changes the way you see yourself. It's not like gaining weight, where you can lose, like you said, it's a step that is going to only get whiter, with time, and it's hard to accept that reality, especially me, being naive, having thought all my life that only "OLD" people get them. It's hard to get out of that stereotype, and like you said, with the vanity of everyone dyeing, it's hard .

[chen bao jun]

Well, Cathair, I just told the truth--your hair looks pretty. Very pretty.
I have several different races in me and have an appearance which makes people question what I am (sometimes it seems that whatever I say, I get an argument) but I do think of myself as being a black person. Don't think that everybody with my appearance does, however, people decide different things! Which is fine, so far as I'm concerned. What's interesting about being mixed is that one or the other characteristic of the different parts of you can show up in random ways and you can't predict how exactly.. makes life interesting.
This has been an interesting discussion, and I'm glad Mama Herrera feels better. Sometimes I get in a discouraged mood and need people to cheer me up also, even sometimes by telling me things I really already know...
jsut noticed I used 'interesting' three times in one sentence. Terrible writing. Oh, well.

[mamaherrera]

I need you all to live with me for a few months to give me support!!:p some days are easier than others!!!



Well, Cathair, I just told the truth--your hair looks pretty. Very pretty.
I have several different races in me and have an appearance which makes people question what I am (sometimes it seems that whatever I say, I get an argument) but I do think of myself as being a black person. Don't think that everybody with my appearance does, however, people decide different things! Which is fine, so far as I'm concerned. What's interesting about being mixed is that one or the other characteristic of the different parts of you can show up in random ways and you can't predict how exactly.. makes life interesting.
This has been an interesting discussion, and I'm glad Mama Herrera feels better. Sometimes I get in a discouraged mood and need people to cheer me up also, even sometimes by telling me things I really already know...
jsut noticed I used 'interesting' three times in one sentence. Terrible writing. Oh, well.