Knot the Size of a Fist...How to Detangle?

[rcblinn]

My grandmother has been in the hospital for pneumonia and congestive heart failure. She's doing slightly better but has a huge knot, the size of my fist and the majority of her fine but thick hair is matted into it. How can I comfortably help detangle it? The nurses tried to no avail and my grandma is too weak to sit up for long periods of time nor can she do it herself. I hate to see it-she has such beautiful long hair, took pride in it and was the inspiration for me to grow my hair out as a child and even as an adult. It's such a huge mat, I'm not sure how to proceed. Thank you so much!

[divinedobbie]

I'm sure people will have better ideas but all I can think of is trying to use lots and lots of conditioner, maybe oil?

[prettyinpink]

Try ice cold apple cider vinegar water and a coney conditioner. Good luck!!!

[Anje]

I'd probably soak it with olive oil and start picking it apart. Oil is pretty good at helping knots slide out. Also, it won't dry and get sticky like conditioner, if it takes an hour or two.

[ravenreed]

Since she can't sit up for long, I would use one of those detangling sprays aimed for children. When my hair was at its worst, tanglewise, I used those with great results. Also, if you have a tangle teezer, that would help.

[Jumper]

Are you planning on washing whatever you put in the hair back out of the hair?

I guess I would douse it with something slippery, maybe baby oil? I've gotten some pretty matted up knots out of horses hair (a tail matted with over 100 cockleburrs in it) with losing minimal hair by using a horse product called show sheen detangler, but I don't know if you would want to put it on a human head since I don't know how hard it would be to wash out.

Maybe just soak it in some sort of detangling serum full of cones.

[PrincessBob]

I have lived through these and on more than one occasion saved my father's hair when his depression left him with one huge dreadlock. An extremely coney detangling spray like the one from Mane 'n Tail or Thermasilk by Sally Hanson will be useful here, but if you cannot find one, at least use lots of conditioner to saturate the knot/mat. A wide tooth comb is a good idea if you can even ger it into the tangle, I would also see about getting a Tangle Teezer (like $10 at Target stores in the us or between $12 and $15 from Sally Beauty Supply); it makes an awful racket, but it isn't tearing the hair, it is actually the sound of the design mechanism that makes the sound and reverberates in the shell. Whatever tool you use to detangle, rinse it and your own hands frequently, so it doesn't fly out of your hands while you work, conditioners and detangling sprays and oils are slippery--that's the point. Other than that I have to say this: firmly grip the hair above the part you are combing to keep from yanking on your poor grandmother's scalp, try separating the tangle into two or three smaller sections of tangle with your fingers every so often in your endeavor (it makes it more manageable) and always, always, always work from the bottom up.

[nicolezoie]

When my mother was in her final illness at the hospital, her very fine and thin hair had become terribly matted and tangled. Granted, it was not long - chin length at most - but it took a good bit of effort to detangle it, even with that small amount. What I used was a perm-pick that had very long tines and a soft boar bristle brush to smooth each section out as I went. I didn't use any oils (she was sensitive to just about everything, including dry shampoos) or anything, just patiently went about each section.

Your post doesn't mention how long her hair is, but for the size of that matted knot, it could take several sittings. Where is the knot? Behind her head on her neck? Is it a big ball? If you have the patience, and she is not sensitive to oils, I would recommend misting some jojoba (that works for me) onto the big knot, then rubbing some into your palms and onto your detangling tools, and repeat as needed. Let the jojoba sit on the tangle for a bit for the hair to absorb it and soften up. Determining where the bottom of the knot actually is may be hard to tell; you can't really work your way from the bottom up in situations like this. Your best bet would be to see if you can peel bits away from the outside of the big knot. Also, I highly recommend having a pair of cuticle scissors or little scissors handy in case you have to make little snips here and there. Once each section has been worked free up to her scalp, braid it. That way, each section can be isolated from the major knot and protected from getting ensnared again. If you both have the patience, you should be able to work it out.

[Quasiquixotic]

Can you arrange pillows so that she is leaning forward onto them? That way you have access to the knot and she is still fully supported. Maybe a chair leaning forward onto the bed? Or one of those triangle support pillows that she can lean on.

Other than that I think the ladies here have great advice.

[cdonald2]

im with devine dobbie, tons of conditioner

[Islandgrrl]

Thoroughly wet the hair, put heaps of super slippy conditioner in, and very gently separate out a few hairs at a time with a tangle teaser.

[eadwine]

On a bed.. hmm.. I'd go with the sprays you don't necessarily have to wash out, to ease the strain on her.

Other than that.. you are so sweet to help her out.. good luck and I hope you can manage it!!!

[furnival]

I'd hesitate to use loads of conditioner as you'll either have to wash it out at the end of each detangling session or subject her to one massive long session then a wash. If you slather her hair with loads of oil she'll have to either wash it out, sleep with a protective cap on or end up with oil all over her face from where it's transferred to the pillow. I've picked out two sets of my own dreadlocks, one that I'd had for fifteen years, and I used only a comb. I would just pick gently at the end of the mat, separating the hairs in minute amounts, gently tugging the mat open with my fingers, maybe with a bit of coney spray as others have suggested.

Good luck, I think it's really kind that you're doing this for her :flower:

[kitana97]

Maybe she could lay on her side with her head on the edge of the bed. Then you could take her hair and the back of her head and soak it into a bucket of water. Then use alot of conditioner to slowly untangle the hair with your fingers. There a lot of good suggestions here, so hopefully your grandma's hair will be okay! Good luck :)

[MINAKO]

I was in the hospital for a few days myself mid of last year and although i had my hair in 2 braids it was terribly tangled after 3 days of bedrest. I spitzed on water and thankfully though to pack the most slippery condish i know, which is tigi bedhead resurrection (LOL). My not too wide toothed comb worked excellent after applying it to the wet hair and i guess some baby oil on top would even give more slip. Who cares about washing it out in such a situation anways, just braid it tightly and forget about pretty hair until out of the hospital, as long as its well protected, it will be fine.

[Rosa Harris]

I know one thing that will crazy get nasty dreadlocky huge tangles out - almost make them fall out - even in my supper cat-hair fine curlies and that is Panteen Naturals Co-Wash. It is super-rich thick and made for ethnic hair. I had exactly what you are talking about the lst time I was in the hospital two weeks in ICU and a week on the medical floor. The nurse on the medical floor had my husband get it for me then helped me get the nap out of the mess. I seriously thought my hair was doomed to be cut.

edit: its usually in the ethnic section and it has a brown bottle not the usual white bottle, also its super cheap for a co-wash at about 5 dollars for a big bottle at Dollar General or Wallmarts.

[Charybdis]

Johnson & Johnson's No More Tangles detangling spray works well and doesn't need to be washed out. Given your grandma's condition, I don't think anything that requires washing out will be feasible for quite some time to come. She's not going to have the energy to arrange herself on the hospital bed for any sort of seated wash involving buckets and so on.

I would try using fingers and a Tangle Teezer (the original UK-made version, which you can get in the US as well) -- like everyone says, take lots of time, work from the bottom up, and see if you can braid the detangled hair into a comfy protective style. Also bring a pair of hair scissors with you to cut out single-strand knots as needed.

Good luck and let us know how you get on! It's nice that you're doing this for her. :flower:

[Madora]

You might want to try Johnson and Johnson baby oil (aka mineral oil). It provides plenty of slip and washes out easily. Try a few drops at first (I don't recommend saturating as it would take longer to shampoo out). Be sure to put a towel under her head in case of any drips, etc.

When working on the knot, start at the bottom, but try and work from each side (top and bottom) a little at a time. Don't work vertically as that tends to tighten the knots even tighter. You might want to have a small clip on hand to secure the combed out sections so they don't get tangled while you are working.

Good luck!

[cathair]

You might want to try Johnson and Johnson baby oil (aka mineral oil). It provides plenty of slip and washes out easily. Try a few drops at first (I don't recommend saturating as it would take longer to shampoo out). Be sure to put a towel under her head in case of any drips, etc.

When working on the knot, start at the bottom, but try and work from each side (top and bottom) a little at a time. Don't work vertically as that tends to tighten the knots even tighter. You might want to have a small clip on hand to secure the combed out sections so they don't get tangled while you are working.

Good luck!

Seconding this. I have been experimenting with this idea, since I read something similar Madora wrote in another thread. I thought working vertically would be easier, but it's not. It seemed counter intuitive to me, but it has improved my success rate in getting knots out a lot :)

Wishing you the best of luck, I hope you can get the knot out.

[PrincessBob]

i also agree that go at the knot from every angle (front, back, left, right, underneath) is a good way to go for it. Okay maybe it is difficult to work bottom up on a knot like this, but you can't put the comb in near the scalp and just pull down and expect it to detangle all the stuff. That's a big part of why I emphasize going bottom up.