Back After Long Absence

[Beesweet]

Hi,

I am back after cutting my hair. I keep letting it grow and cutting it because people I know (family, mostly, who are brutally honest) tell me I don't look good with long hair. It may be true. I have a long thin face. When I look in the mirror with longer hair, I think I look bad as well. I don't know if it is a poor self image or honesty, but frankly, I am getting sick of quitting on my long hair journey.

I am very tall and very skinny and I have a small head and "big hair," (2C/3A, only very thick so my hair grows out for a long time before it grows down, if that makes sense). It seems to take me years to get to shoulders, and a long time to get anything past shoulder. All of that waiting time is when my hair hangs around my long face, is an "ugly phase" and I always end up quitting and cutting. I have never made it to BSL. Also, I am in my forties so my face is getting a little oldy looking.

Do you think some faces can look bad with long hair? I am tired of not sticking to it, but I am wondering if I should. It has been a lifelong goal and I have never net it. I am feeling very discouraged.

The profile page is after an oiling and a bunch of henna, which straightens my hair out somewhat. The oil was actually too oily for walking around, but it made the back of my hair look awesome. In reality, my hair seems...fluffier.

[Mimione001]

Hi Beesweet, I can relate to your story, it seems like mine. I am tall too and have a small head. People always tell me long hair doesn't suit me. I've never got past shoulders.
We have to do what we like, right?
I don't think you face will look bad with long hair. You are tall, i think you have to look at your total body and long hair on tall people is nice to my opinion.
Can you make a bun allready, maybe that will help not to get so many comments.

[eadwine]

Long thin face check. I have bangs, which made the world of difference of how things look on me. If you don't have them, try some fake ones first, see what it looks like. It worked for me :)


And other than that: do what YOU want.. where is that bit of text I have somewhere..

It is adapted, so it is shorter than the original is, but this does say it all IMHO:



You can't go your whole life trying to please everyone else, you can't go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think.
You can't let the judgment of others stop you from being you, because if you do, you're no longer you; you're someone everyone else wants you to be.

[CousinItt]

I used to get to armpit length and then cut my hair, because it really looked ugly on me. My husband convinced me to keep growing, and that I would love it when it got longer. He has never been more right. My wurls didn't sit nicely until my hair got to about brastrap length. Shorter than that is truly an ugly and awkward stage that you have to just wait out, unfortunately.

As for your age... I'm forty, and my hair makes me feel younger, and some say look younger :)

[Tini'sNewHair]

Grooow your hair out!!!!!!!!!! I actually HAD long hair and cut short thinking that short hair suits me, i tried a BILLION of haircuts and styles and nothing worked - My hair looks TERRIBLE all the way up to APL and a bit passed it BUT from BSL on, my hair sits so so well, WOW im so happy to be back in my teritory again! I actually wore my hair up 100% of the time for more than a year and a half when i started growing it out and I wouldnt change a thing. I CAN finally let my hair down now OR put it up and i LOVE both! So grow it out, give it a try! IF after BSL you still dont like it then go back to something else. You wont know what works until you try and experiment a bit ;) Also, I think your hair would look STUNNING at a longer length and you will suit it just fine as well :)

[MungoMania]

Have you ever tried photoshopping different lengths onto your face to see what would flatter you? I'm sure there must be something that would work and then you'd have a goal, and once you have a goal sticking to your growing plan becomes easier. I don't think age should factor into the equation. I'm over forty myself and also have a narrow head but not a narrow face. I think your hair texture and color is just beautiful. I so envy you. Most likely you look a lot better than you think you do.

Forget the opinions of family and friends if they try to disuade you from growing. Turn them into hair lovers like yourself with your example and interest. I've change a couple of short haired friends into long hair wannabes and it's such a satisfying experience.

[martyna_22]

I second everything eadwine says. :) There are so many ways you can cut in bangs, that I'm sure you'll find something that suits you. I also think your curls would look gorgeous on longer hair, they're already beautiful, but long curls is just something... extraordinary :) Something some of us will naver have. :cry:
Remember, in the end it all comes to what you want!! Others probably don't do everything just to satisfy you specifically - why should you?

[tigereye]

I have a long, thin face too. What works for me is to have wispy bangs (which give the illusion of a wider face), and on the very rare occasions I wear my hair mostly down, it's usually with the front clipped back in a half-up. Because for me, my hair length doesn't matter as long as it's not right against the sides of my face. If I wear it all down, it makes my face seen narrower, so half-ups are a happy medium. The good thing about a narrow face is that I suit up-dos with my bangs down a lot.

[lapushka]

I don't think a long face and long hair don't mix. Why shouldn't it be gorgeous? On top of that, there's a lot of awkward phases between chin, shoulder and BSL, especially for thicker curly hair, so I know why it's tempting to have it cut often. Why not wear some updos along the way, I'm sure they will make the journey a little easier. In any case, welcome back, and happy growing!

[spidermom]

I think it's true that certain lengths flatter certain features more than other lengths. The nice thing about long hair is that it can somewhat mimic the look of shorter hair when you put it up. You have options! If long hair is something you want, grow it! I wanted long hair all my life but never acquired the patience to leave it alone and let it grow until I was in my mid-40s. I'm so glad I did.

[mandalee73]

My parents always preferred my hair short. I have had my around bsl most of my adult life and they are used to it now, but, I used to put my hair up a lot while I was working and they loved it, said its the best of both worlds because i look good ( like i have short hair) and I am happy as well because i have some "swing"in my hair. Maybe that would work the same for you Beesweet?

[Wosie]

I personally think your hair is admirable! eadwine said it well and I love the quote in her post; this is your only life and you should follow your own dreams and do what makes you happy as long as you're not hurting anybody else. That's the motto I try to live by. :flowers:

[fiðrildi]

Nobody looks bad with long hair. Seriously. If your face is long and thin, and from your own subjective point of view you think that long hair makes your face narrower, maybe having some bangs could help, like some people suggested. You can still have very long hair, and do updos if you don't like wearing your hair down :) Also, your hair type is flattering for long faces, so I don't see the problem! Your hair colour is gorgeous, and it looks very healthy.

I also have quite a narrow and thin face, and I can't imagine myself having other thing than long hair, I just don't care about what other people think or not (same happens with height, I'm very short, and if I were to follow the "beauty rules" I should have a pixie so that I looked taller... nonsense!)
So don't listen to other people's opinions, and don't get affected by magazines stupid stereotypes... just be yourself, and do what you feel like doing :)

[pinchbeck]

I can relate and was told over two years ago while on a dating site by men I met that I'd look better with a shorter length. My hair at that time was waist length. One man even told me he would not date me unless I cut my hair and he pointed out examples of why the women around us looked 'hot' even though their faces were not so much (these were his words, not mine).

Like you I caved in and cut my hair to BSL. It did look good and I looked contemporary. The layers flattered my wider jawline (that's too wide) and my hair was bouncy and oh-so-healthy. Although I looked better, I regretted listening to other people tell me long hair didn't suit me and decided to grow my hair back to where it had been. What is interesting is now I see WL hair on a lot of women at different ages so it is now contemporary and there is no reason to cut it.

My main reason for keeping my hair where I want it is because it's what I want - not what others want. My current boyfriend prefers my hair at a shorter length and said if it gets any longer it won't do anything for me. My hair grows at a snail's pace anyhow, so I doubt he'll see it at a length he fears. I think we need to listen to ourselves to satisfy our own desire to have longer hair and stick with it. Afterall, longer hair is fun to have, look after, and wear.

[Fericera]

Have you tried pulling it half back? I don't look good with hair hanging by my face, but if I take the parts that hang over my ears and pull them back in a barrette or little braid it looks MUCH better.

Also shoulder to APL is tough just because it's not long enough to be impressive, so if people don't think it suits you they'll likely pressure you to cut it. Of course I (and probably most people here) will say that it's worth it to continue growing, but it's all up to you. :)

[Beesweet]

Ack! I replied yesterday from my phone and the post didn't show up! Sorry to not have replied sooner. Pinchbeck your hair is amazing. Everyone's is, really.

I love you guys. You just gave me the perfect shot of "atta-girl," and I am going to grow it again. I am in the process of collecting past hair pics. I found one that is about ten years old. It was taken on a cold day where I live, so there was no humidity, and no frizz or "bigness." I had no bangs, no layers, and it was just at shoulder and without the frizz it was gorgeous and my face looked fine. I never even noticed the pic before!

Screw it. I'm going for it. I also just ordered some new henna. Uh-oh! I am a recovering henna head, but I think once you henna and stop, you will always be in recovery, like an alcoholic. I'll probably do a gloss and get back to the land of Lawsonia. On advice of a few posters here, I also just bought clips. I look very good with it half up and half down, no matter the length.

I'm back, and thanks guys!!!!

[Beesweet]

I also wanted to add that my mother never let me have long hair because it was curly. I always wore it short. My grandmothers wore their hair short. My mother's sister wears her hair short.

On reflection I have always heard negative comments about my "wild hair" when it gets "too long." I'm going to start ignoring those. This is my life. I've wanted long hair since I read the Little House series. Weird how we hold onto things from the past without even really realizing it, even small things....

Thanks again.

[pinchbeck]

I love you guys. You just gave me the perfect shot of "atta-girl," and I am going to grow it again. I am in the process of collecting past hair pics. I found one that is about ten years old. It was taken on a cold day where I live, so there was no humidity, and no frizz or "bigness."

I personally think 'bigness' is very attractive and unique.

[pinchbeck]

Oh gosh...double post. Now how do I delete this?