My hair story: I'm fed up with my hair! (+ lots of pics)

[fiðrildi]

Sometimes I just give up... I feel that my hair is not growing: half of it is extremely damaged, due to the effects of the 4 curly perms I’ve got in the last 3 years. The last one was made in february 2013, when my hair got at its worst, and I realized I should stop, and grow natural… but at that time, I didn’t know anything about growing healthy hair, so I kept torturing my hair with almost daily heat, hair-dryers, harsh shampoos, curling mousse, sun and lemon bleaching, and silicone products... until one day I discovered LHC… and I opened my eyes!


My hair is growing pretty fast actually, but it keeps breaking over and over, so while I’m getting rid of fake curls, it doesn’t grow longer than mid back. I hate the contrast against my silky roots... my mum keeps telling me I should cut it to shoulder length (virgin hair). I try to be optimistic, but it's difficult, and I am giving up. I just can't imagine cutting my hair so short, it was already horrible when I got my hair cut to BSL! Without long hair, I feel... naked.
I know that's slowly improving, but it still looks very unhealthy, and the permed part has a very dry "scourer" feel.


Since last November, I have completely changed my hair routines: I co-wash only once a week (curly girl method), I don’t use silicons, no colorants, no parabens either. I always let my hair air-dry naturally, I don't use any kind of heat. I rinse with cold water. I put argan oil in my tips after washing, and coconut oil before combing (tangle teezer, or finger combing). I sleep with silk pillow cases, and english braids. I have tried Cassia treatments, honey, egg and vinegar masks. I do S&D almost every day, and self-trim every two months. I feel like there is nothing else I can do to improve the condition of my hair, maybe the only thing left is getting it cut. Very short. And I don’t want to do it :(
I need some advice!


My story begins like this:

http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa41/PAJAROTRISTE/DSC_0102copia.jpg
(2011. Natural hair, uncombed, extra-curled thanks to plopping and products)


http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa41/PAJAROTRISTE/DSC_0108.jpg
(2011, first perm: ticket to my obsession for curlier hair and future disaster)


http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa41/PAJAROTRISTE/b16septiembre2013.jpg
(September 2013, at the worst my hair has EVER been. Right before this picture, I discovered LHC. And right after this, I decided to take action and trimmed 3-4 inches off)


http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa41/PAJAROTRISTE/2-1.jpg
(December 2013: The change in my hair routine is giving me amazing results... hair has grown very fast after the trim, but perm is NOT disappearing. Uncombed & combed)


http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa41/PAJAROTRISTE/g29abril2014.jpg
(April 2014, after a couple of trims, and lots of hours of S&D: perm is slowly leaving me, but it’s still very obvious. And I needed a wash!)


http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa41/PAJAROTRISTE/4.jpg
(June 2014: I have almost got rid of the layers, yay! But my hair is shorter, and I’m full of split, frizzy ends and absurd fake curls. Also, my hemline is so weak. I wonder how much patience do I have left?)


Sorry for the psychedelic backgrounds, I didn’t want to show you the mess around me! :P
Thanks for reading :)

[HumanBean]

Since it's about as long when you trimmed off the 3-4" last time, why not do the same again? I think you don't have to cut off all the damage to get improvement, just some, and see if that makes a big enough difference? At the rate your hair grows you could do such trims every 6 months or so until all the permed hair is gone.

[Joliebaby]

Your natural hair is gorgeous. And you will get it back.
I love curly hair too but probably have a similar texture to yours naturally, wavy with some spirals, and annoyingly my top layer is the straightest.

I know how you feel.. My hair was 30" long but I got so frustrated with color I tried to grow out and damage from a color corrector that I just lopped my hair to a chin length bob. It was depressing and I missed my hair but I found that I soon got over it, and around shoulder length I enjoyed my hair again. It's now back to mid-back length, very close to where I started.

There is the option of pampering your hair, wearing it up or braided a lot, and having regular trims, or doing more radical cutting to get rid of the damage. It depends on how much tolerance you have for damage and how much you hate shorter hair :). I also like some shorter hair styles so after I got over the initial shock it was okay.

If you liked layers you'd get rid of the damage faster.

[leilani]

Your natural hair is so great! I wish you patience either trimming regularly until it's back to that state, or just lopping it off and enjoying the instant relief of getting rid of damage and I'm sure you'd be surprised how fast it grows back.

[Shock and D'aww]

Don't give up! Your hair looks so much better already! :)

[Kherome]

I would absolutely get a cut to BSL. Then I would be very kind to my hair, as you are now, and wear it up daily. In six months time I think you'll have a different head of hair if you do that.

[YamaMaya]

Half inch trims every month will help you get rid of the damage without sacrificing length, you'll just have to baby the damaged part of your hair until it's all gone.

[lapushka]

I would microtrim. Trim your growth off every month to a couple of months. That way you'll not have to S&D so much, and it will leave your hair long. You have had patience so far, don't lose it now.

[Kaelee]

I agree, your natural hair is gorgeous!!!!

Don't fret, it is getting better! I would trim too. If you aren't worried about being able to do updos etc, I would go ahead and trim off 3-4" if I were in your shoes, and start babying it with treatments etc. Wear it up as much as you can to protect it.

[LauraLongLocks]

I think it just comes down to what your priorities are. You should not hate your hair, at whatever length it is.

I just went from a no-trim plan to trimming last night, and plan to keep trimming every month. The decision was easy once I sorted out my priorities. For me, split ends must go no matter what. If that causes an uneven hemline, then microtrimming is a must to correct it. If that means I stall at a certain length, then so be it.

[PrincessPhoebe]

I really feel for you as I am in a similar position of having damage (heat & dye), but really not wanting a big chop. I find sticking it up in a bun so I can't even see the offending ends helps me enormously. I also think that we tend to be our own worst critics and it probably isn't as bad as you think. I limit my S & D sessions as I find it can make me feel a bit overwhelmed and stressed out - after all, you are scrutinising your hair far more closely than anyone else ever will!

I would keep looking at that first photo - your natural hair is stunning, and carry on with the micro trims and pampering :flower:.

[spidermom]

I would absolutely cut the worst of it off, which to my eye is right about armpit length.

[Selkie-]

Your natural hair is just gorgeous! Remember that - you will get it back. :grouphug:

I agree with Spidermom - if it were me I would cut back to about APL and then grow from there. :flower:

[fiðrildi]

Thank you for your lovely comments everyone :)
I know I should cut, but I don't want it to be drastic... my length is my priority, but I try to convince myself that if my hair is damaged there's no point in having long hair anymore!
I think I'm going to cut off to BSL. But I'll do it slowly enough as to not get shocked :magic:
I'm going to work at a factory next week, so I'll wear my hair up and do protective styles more often. And I will trim at the end of this week... I want to love my hair again!

Spidermom and Selkie, if I were confident enough, I would cut back to APL (and I probably should!), but the shortest I can imagine my hair is BSL... APL would be too much for me, the simple idea gives me the shivers!
I definitely have more tolerance towards damaged hair, but I don't want it to look like an old broom either. Maybe cutting back to BSL, and trim/microtrim every two months? If I did so, I think by the end of this year I would be MBL again, and my ends would look much happier.
I'll try to keep busy until then, so that I won't get over obsessed about the length, lalalala :whistle:

[spidermom]

It sounds like regular small trims will work best for you, then. Give your hair lots of deep treatments! I like Regis Designline hydrating balm.

When I was growing out a perm, I found that rolling the ends made them look a lot better. I would put my hair into a top of head ponytail at night, then roll the ends on large sponge curlers (the largest I could find as I didn't want tight curls, just a more smoothed appearance with a bit of curl). Leaving the ends in curlers even for 15 minutes helped.

[jeanniet]

I think the best compromise is cut to BSL and then maintain there while you slowly trim out the rest of the damage. I don't think it will take all that long, and in the meantime most of your hair will be healthy, and very pretty.

[Selkie-]

I think I'm going to cut off to BSL. But I'll do it slowly enough as to not get shocked :magic:
I'm going to work at a factory next week, so I'll wear my hair up and do protective styles more often. And I will trim at the end of this week... I want to love my hair again!

Maybe cutting back to BSL, and trim/microtrim every two months? If I did so, I think by the end of this year I would be MBL again, and my ends would look much happier.



This sounds like an excellent plan. Small steps and before you know it you will have your natural stunning long mane back. :)

[fiðrildi]

It sounds like regular small trims will work best for you, then. Give your hair lots of deep treatments! I like Regis Designline hydrating balm.

When I was growing out a perm, I found that rolling the ends made them look a lot better. I would put my hair into a top of head ponytail at night, then roll the ends on large sponge curlers (the largest I could find as I didn't want tight curls, just a more smoothed appearance with a bit of curl). Leaving the ends in curlers even for 15 minutes helped.

Thanks for the advice :flower:
I have never tried rolling the ends, sounds like an interesting option, but I'll stick with english braiding for the moment (I discovered my ends don't frizz as much that way).
I usually do a deep treatment with aloe vera and juniper mask every week; and occasionally I use shea butter on the tips, it works wonders :)


I think the best compromise is cut to BSL and then maintain there while you slowly trim out the rest of the damage. I don't think it will take all that long, and in the meantime most of your hair will be healthy, and very pretty.

Yes, I'll have to maintain at BSL for a while... I hope my hair keeps growing fast, so that I'll get rid of the damage sooner!
Anyway, looking at the worst my hair has been, gives me hope: if my hair was once so awful, and I could maintain at BSL instead of chopping off to chin length/pixie... I won't loose my patience now, for my hair can't look worst than that... courage!

[Kherome]

Thank you for your lovely comments everyone :)
I know I should cut, but I don't want it to be drastic... my length is my priority, but I try to convince myself that if my hair is damaged there's no point in having long hair anymore!
I think I'm going to cut off to BSL. But I'll do it slowly enough as to not get shocked

Quality over quantity is my motto.

And as for cutting off slowly...that's probably not the most effective solution here. Rip off the bandaid and get it trimmed, then just enjoy your hair as it grows out! :)

[Mainesongbird]

The most I would cut the absolute most would be to APL....

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Half inch trims every month will help you get rid of the damage without sacrificing length, you'll just have to baby the damaged part of your hair until it's all gone.

This is absolutely what I would do. And keep your hair up too. It will protect your hair plus you won't have to look at it and have it annoy you. That way you will gradually lose the permed hair without losing the length.

If you don't mind losing length, then just cut the permed hair off and have fresh virgin hair again.

[MissHoney]

have you tried wet sets, like curling your hair with rags/foil/bubble wrap/etc.? I think that would help you get the curls you like while managing the curls you are growing out

[longhairedlady]

I had waist/hip length permed hair, and chopped to a short bob. I couldnt stand the damage and uneven texture. But my priorty was not length as much as it was having my healthy hair back. If you keeping the length is most important than I would either trim a few inches, then maintain. Or I would just keep growing and microtrim often.

I would say this that you might want to consider a different routine. The damaged part of your hair could look alot healthier and smoother with some oils, leave ins, etc. I wouldnt rule cones out. I know some people dont like them, but you hair might benefit from them. Maybe even some protein treatments. I would try some different approaches out on the damaged part if you plan on keeping it. You cant restore it to a virgin state, but you can make it appear that way! ;)

[kqq]

Your hair at first photo was gorgeous. And will be again!
Firstly like girls said I would trim damaged part and let grown healthy hair.
Another pros for it that when it will be shorter you can easiel make it a little curly.

[fiðrildi]

have you tried wet sets, like curling your hair with rags/foil/bubble wrap/etc.? I think that would help you get the curls you like while managing the curls you are growing out

Nope, I haven't tried that... I'm enjoying my natural soft waves and I don't want curls anymore (for the moment, braiding is helping me to "fuse" the waves with the curls). But when my hair is all natural, I could try and see what happens :wink:

[fiðrildi]

I would say this that you might want to consider a different routine. The damaged part of your hair could look alot healthier and smoother with some oils, leave ins, etc. I wouldnt rule cones out. I know some people dont like them, but you hair might benefit from them. Maybe even some protein treatments. I would try some different approaches out on the damaged part if you plan on keeping it. You cant restore it to a virgin state, but you can make it appear that way! ;)

Well, I shall be honest! I am afraid of cones :run:
I believe in natural products, even if some artificial ones could give me better results at some point... it was a pain in the neck for my hair to get used to all-natural stuff, I hope to never come back to cones again! :wink:

Finally I decided to trim 2 inches off at the end of this week, and then maintain with microtrims... 2 inches could seem too little considering the damage I'm dealing with, but I will get the worst off this way, and my hemline will be more defined (well, I hope so!). At the same time, I won't loose too much length, I hope to reach MBL again by September-October, yay! Maybe I'm being too much optimistic? hehe

I will keep you updated with any improvements, and thanks for the kind words everyone, you give me courage! ;)

[lapushka]

Well, I shall be honest! I am afraid of cones :run:
I believe in natural products, even if some artificial ones could give me better results at some point... it was a pain in the neck for my hair to get used to all-natural stuff, I hope to never come back to cones again! :wink:

That's all nice and well, but it will make it harder to manage, for sure. You could consider going back to cones (in your conditioner only) for a number of months, until the damage has grown out. But that's something I would consider, not something you might. I respect that. It's just that it might make your hair a little easier to deal with right now.

[fiðrildi]

That's all nice and well, but it will make it harder to manage, for sure. You could consider going back to cones (in your conditioner only) for a number of months, until the damage has grown out. But that's something I would consider, not something you might. I respect that. It's just that it might make your hair a little easier to deal with right now.

I will think about that possibility, I still have a lot to learn! Thank you lapushka :)

[truepeacenik]

About 15 years ago, my hair looked just like your September 2013 photo.

Knowing what I know now, my main tool would be updos. Followed by trims, maybe go up 2 inches and hold it there.

How do you feel about layers just in the damage?

[fiðrildi]

Knowing what I know now, my main tool would be updos. Followed by trims, maybe go up 2 inches and hold it there.
How do you feel about layers just in the damage?

Yes, that is what I plan to do :) I need to practice some new updos!
As for layers, I'm not a big fan, so I hope trimming and waiting and microtriming will work in the next months... fingers crossed.
Can I ask how long did it take you to get rid of the damage?

[Joliebaby]

If you are going to end up trimming all the damaged hair off eventually, it wouldn't matter if you use cone-y conditioner. You could just use it on the damaged parts.

[fiðrildi]

If you are going to end up trimming all the damaged hair off eventually, it wouldn't matter if you use cone-y conditioner. You could just use it on the damaged parts.

Yes, I have nothing to loose... so why not? I might give it a try, and see if cone conditioner helps my ends a little bit.

[longhairedlady]

Whatever you decide to do, keep us updated with your progress pics!

[fiðrildi]

Whatever you decide to do, keep us updated with your progress pics!

Yes, I will keep you updated! And I hope next time I come back, I'll have a nice improvement to share :)

[Clytemnestra]

You could also perhaps think about using a coney serum just on the damaged parts. My hair is very similar to yours but I do use non-ammonia color on it, and it tends to get fairy knots when I am strictly no-cone curly girl method, so I experimented and found using the serum a few times a week really smooths it nicely without weighing it down or build up (and no knots). I use the Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine and add some nice Jasmine essential oil. Good luck, you will get there!