Depressed and confused

[ErinLeigh]

I am hitting a crossroad and don't know what to do. I have used chemicals on my hair since I was 14.
I have let my roots grow in about an inch so I can assess a bit an I have noticed I am about 20% gray which I am not ready to show.

I truly do not know what to do. My blond color I have right now seems so washed out. I hate the "chemical damage" look it presents when wet. I am torn on colors and methods.

I could either ...dye roots an 8G and go for the golden blond look and let the bleached parts grow out. Kind of what I have now in a way.
I could dye roots darker like a 7N and gradually ombré.

But what has been calling to me is a henna gloss using nightbloomings strawberry blond mix. The conditioning and glossing benefits appeal to me. Healthier hair appeals to me. The shine and color appeal to me.
I have pressure from friends and boyfriend to stay blond. Everyone tells me red is NOT good look for me and I will regret it...yet I am tired of bleach and dye damage. Yes I can do roots only and that will help but I guess current damage just has me down. I am also told brown looks terrible on me as well. Per everyone who has seen it.

I just dont don't know what to do. I suppose test strands are in order but they are never enough to truly know what it will look like all over. Also I have black roots with gray and brown,red, blond strands on rest of hair. If I had to bleach the roots lighter I am not sure I would want to do that. I am almost at one or other spot.


Has as anyone here hennaed in lighter hair with dark roots (and gray). How did the color come out ? Anyone used the strawberry blond kit or henna/cassia mix they want to show their color ?

if I posted pics of a few colors I have had..would anyone be willing to say which one they thought was ok for skin tone?
I will look and find no makeup pics so true time is shown. Only thing I ask is not to reply directly to the post with the pics so when I take them down they won't show in someone else's reponse.

Would that be ok? I'm really at a crossroad of not knowing next step. I never let roots grow out this far before and seeing the grays hit me hard. I am so tired of damage but don't want gray at 41. I don't know what to do next but with henna on my mind I need to be sure as it is so permanent.

Advise, personal stories, anything...I will take it. I need to talk this one out as I have no support in hair in real life.

Off to to search for ugly no makeup pics for comparison.

[ExpectoPatronum]

Have you thought about trying cassia by itself? It won't color your hair but will offer the same benefits as henna and might be worth looking into if you want to continue being blonde.

I will admit I'm not the best when it comes to mixing and matching hair colors with skin tones, but I think the color you have in your signature looks very nice. Maybe a shade or two darker would look good too.

[Irish Fae]

I would be happy to help!

[Nadine <3]

I'm not a genius, but if you post pictures, I do have opinions I don't mind sharing. ;)

[Quasiquixotic]

What about trying to dye your hair with catnip and camomile?

[ErinLeigh]

Gah photobucket on phone is impossible. It won't let me copy whole link. Any tips?
I will hate to wait until I get to laptop on Thursday.

Will
Retry

[PraiseCheeses]

I'm pretty bad about skin tone and coordinating colors, but I can second the recommendation to try cassia. Even I noticed the golden tinge to my normally ashy hair, and quite a few people commented on it as well. You might wind up with some pretty golden highlights on your gray hairs. I have no idea how it reacts with dyed hair though. The other thing that I notice in your post is that your roots have only grown out an inch - probably not enough to accurately judge their color. I Sun-In'ed my hair when I was a teenager, and when I grew it out, it looked really dark until it was a good few inches long. Once someone asked me if my natural hair color was black when I had about .75 inch of roots. :lol:

If you're really not ready to show gray and you like being blonde, why not stay blonde though? Or dye other colors, if you decide to try them? Virgin hair is overrated, in my opinion. Being able to claim "virgin hair" is kind of a hollow victory if you're really unhappy with the color.

[HintOfMint]

No advice, just all my sympathies. It seems as though blondes have a unique imperative imposed on them to stay blonde come hell or high water.

[ErinLeigh]

Darker blond and blond highlights
Removed

Browns
Removed

Ashy blond
Removed

Red orange
This is the color I assume henna will give. Am I close? Is it just wrong for my face like everyone says?
Please ignore stupid eyebrow situation

Removed

[ErinLeigh]

I tried to get no makeup pics so they are true. Even though I feel ugly in them I felt safe enough to post "real"

I like the blonds I do, but I am so tired of damage. I do roots only now but I still have a lot of chemical on chemical on the length. Will it get better as it grows out roots only? Now that I am am so gray maybe henna is safer...I am already F and don't want to lose more hair...but not sure how I feel committing to red if it is wrong if that makes sense.

I truly am stumped. I like the blond but it washes out to a bland all over blah blond easily.

I will strand test this weekend but is anything to hideous to go for?

My favorite is the ashy blond but no stylist gets me there without making it green or gray first.
I am so tired of stylist mistakes so will Do myself from now on...but if that's the case the henna seems safer maybe? Stumped!

I have had so much damage from stylists that I am getting nervous now. I need something I can do that is as healthy as possible but still Looks ok with my coloring.

The red is bad right?

Oh forgot gold color. Could I get this with henna / cassia over blond?
I would do straight cassia but I have black roots. I also worry in bleach it could get a green hue

[Ingrid]

I like the last picture with the more strawberry blonde colour on you. I think it looks stunning with your eye colour and complexion.

[Irish Fae]

First of all, you are beautiful! You look much younger than your age! :-)

I really like the last photo, and I think the reddish tint could work. However, my favourite colour of all of them is the top left photo in the "browns" section. It is so flattering against your skin tone. Is that your natural colour? I honestly think that it looks even nicer and more youthful than the blonde tones against your skin and features.

:flower:

[dancingrain91]

I personally think you look good in the reddish pic and I have a cousin who is a natural strawberry blonde with similiar colouring to you. If you want to try the henna, do the test strands and go for it. Long run hair will be healthier and really you'll still be a blonde. I'm a natural 7-8 blonde and find it pretty blande with my peachy skin and light eyes. Red seems so exotic and playful to me. So I may not be the most unbiased person. My coloring clashed horribly the one time I went red (and then bleached my already blonde hair to death). But your colouring looks like it's a good candidate for red. The browns do seem to wash you out too much.

Hope my rambling helped at all!

[ErinLeigh]

Thank you praisecheeses for the comment. I agree Virgin is over rates if unhappy. I just have the worst luck with stylists and I pay huge money to look like crap. It's upsetting. My natural I have had a few times as a teen and once in my 20's and it is dark ashy black. It makes my skin look gray. My sister has the color and it doesn't lighten naturally so ya I can't keep it.
I just am so tired if fried hair. No matter who I go to they overlap my color, damage my hair and I end up big chopping and starting over. I will try it myself if I can decide one color to stick with. I know the dangers of changing it so need to pick and commit. I just wish I could make something work long term.

Henna has such a lure seeing how much better hair looks on the after photos but it comes with its own fears.

Hintofmint...so true. It's even harder when every time I stray from blond I get deeply negative reactions from everyone.

[Quasiquixotic]

So I don't think I'm much help, I like them all. You are very pretty :)

I think the ash blonde and the browns kinda look like the same color in different lights to me. Like a blondette. Which I LOVE!

Honestly I would pm night blooming, ask her for help making a dye blend that would match your natural color but hide the grays, because that sounds to me like the thing that bothers you the most. I bet she would have the best advice and tools.

And by the way, I think your natural color sounds amazing. All the colors together! Wow :)

Eta: if your natural color is black I'm not sure you can go lighter with anything except bleach. But you can use henna to shift the tone of the color.

[ErinLeigh]

What's funny is all of these pics are during the course of one year. Age 40. I went thru a lot of colors. The brown was a semi. My own brown is more black and ashy.

I do find my hair tends to want to go to the gold stage.. But it does wash out eventually to the bleach blond look which is why I started thinking henna strawberry blond mix. I just don't know if I can achieve it. Anyone had a blond that got close? I guess I would have to bleach or lighten roots first , or simply dye roots the gold color and run a deposit only gold over the faded length? Darn this is tough.

I am on a mini vacation right now with an inch of gray and black roots on blond length and never felt so down about my hair before. Hair feels damaged and ugly.
I have to pick a color. If I keep changing it I will end up bald. I know this is a senseless and rambling thread but I feel lost. The feedback is helping a lot so I want to thank all of you for being considerate enough to stop by and help :)
Such a great group of women here

Dancingrain of course it helps :)

[elsieivy]

Beautiful pictures! I can't believe you're in your 40s. I actually thought the red was very pretty on you. They were all beautiful but I liked the red and the blonds best.

[Quasiquixotic]

Disclaimer: I'm pro natural hair color.

I think the healthiest option for your hair is to find a way to tweek your natural color with henna. Maybe with the red on black/brown it will add the warmth needed to match your completion. It's hard because this is a commitment and we don't know what it will look like until you do it. And it would be difficult to undo once done.

But I would still go this route. It would lead to the healthiest hair possible for you. And hopefully a color that you love.

:grouphug:

[YvetteVarie]

I don't know much about hair color and skin tone, but I do love the reddish one on you. I think strawberry blonde will be great, (and won't be too big a shock to the pepole used to seeing you blonde).

[divinedobbie]

I'm a big fan of the red on you, and the very last picture with the gold. It looks fabulous! I vote going strawberry-blonde even, I think you could pull off a very warm tone if you wanted to.

I'm just worried that, because you say your natural colour is black, with either henna or cassia you won't be able to go lighter. You'd have to lighten your hair first from what I understand, and that's counteractive of "being healthy" by using henna/cassia. I think you'd be easily able to stain the grays to golden and shift the other colours to a warmer hue but you'll still be left with black.

I really do like the red colour on you - you look beautiful in every photo but that one just brings out your eyes and makes you glow.

[ExpectoPatronum]

I like the top left in the brown section, like someone else had said.

I'm sorry you're not happy with your hair :(

[Arwenlily]

^ I was going to say the same thing.

[divinedobbie]

I like the top left in the brown section, like someone else had said.

I'm sorry you're not happy with your hair :(

I didn't even really look at the browns, the pics were so small. I have to say that the top left brown is now my favourite by far, even more so than the red but I think the common theme I like on you is warm colours.

[morrigan*]

I like top left in browns and redish one, you look younger to me in those two photos. You do look really young anyway.
Could you post how does your roots look, this will probably help us to give more on spot advice.

I started doing henna glosses too, my natural colour is brown and it look ashy for first two inches and then shifts to golden and then to reddish and i wanted more uniform colour so now i have my brown which reflect copper shades that i love. But my hair is really easy to stain.

[LauraLongLocks]

I like the red and brown on you just as much as the blondes. The warmer blondes seem nicer than the ashy ones to me.

I have never bleached hair before, so I am very ignorant of the process. Can one bleach less and less over time so that the change from the blonde to the natural color is gradual? Or would there be an orange stage the hair would be stuck in?

Could deposit-only dye be an option for you to cover the demarcation line a little better until you come up with a decision? Maybe this would help you experiment with different colors, too.

You could attempt to do an ombre or low-lights and only foil and bleach only the top of your hair where it parts (and maybe just a few streaks) to reduce the contrast as you grow out?

I think you'll end up being happy with the strawberry blonde mix, but I don't know how it will blend as your dark ash black with grey grows in. Henna doesn't lighten your hair, and cassia doesn't show up well in dark hair, but would help cover the greys a bit.

I hope you come up with something you will love!

[ErinLeigh]

I wonder if it helps that even though it's an ashy blackish that is lightens super easily.
I keep haunting the henna threads and sometimes I see dark browns/black pick up a red tone. Maybe that can be enough for me and just lighten the area around the face?

I wonder with a strand test on roots if it would be enough to tell true effect...try the natural and then just lighten the area around face to get golden red? And a plus is I would have a henna ombré for years. Dark with red fading to strawberry? This is where I get stuck..zero henna experience to know what's truly possible.



Seems the red/gold tones are coming higher percentage. If I can get that with a hint of lightening and henna together, the henna may offset the 5min of lightening time it takes me to get to red with bleach and even things out a bit maybe? 5 min bleach done only once then henna may be closest to natural hair I could get but its closer then now. I'm so scared though.
You would be surprised how negative people are when I leave blond. Its hurtful. I always get the "oh you changed your color...the blond looks way better, you should go back." Its shocking almost and kills my mood. And it comes from everyone. yikes! If even one person in my life supported red I would be all over it without question :(

You ladies have given me so much to think about. I promise to post once I decide and do it this weekend or next week. You can tell me if I goofed :)
At the end of the day I just want to look nice but I also want to stop damaging my hair so much. Even half the damage woukd be better than now. I'm tired of blow drying only to look ok. Its a snowball effect with damage. You have to do more damage to hide the current damage. I feel stupid sometimes.

I also feel selfish and narcissistic yapping so much about my hair...but I'm really torn with the damage vs color issue.
Again, I so thank you all for the replies.

Oh duh. Here are roots. I wish the gray showed better.
http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/image_zps12a65021.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/image_zps12a65021.jpg.html)

[LauraLongLocks]

This thread reminded me of this video I saw.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaXCYz3U7Lg

I wonder if she ever found a fix?

[elsieivy]

I just looked at your root picture. What's the longest you've had your natural hair color? I only ask because my roots are a similar color but my length is naturally a medium brown with some golden highlights. With a mix of henna and cassia my hair ends up a dark copper or maybe light auburn.

[morrigan*]

I think maybe just warmer tone to your hair could make a difference. Also your roots probably look darker now that are short because of contrast to blonde. You can't know until you try something different. As for people commenting, i don't really have advice, except ignoring them.
To me it seems that anything warm toned suits you. But ashy toned colour doesn't

[Selkie-]

Top left brown looks the best by far - really suits your skin tone - looks elegant and lovely. The last one with the reddish colour also looks good.

I don't understand why you have been told that brown doesn't suit you?? :confused:

[AmyBeth]

It really looks to me as though you can easily pull off any color you darn well choose, and look absolutely lovely while doing it!! I admit to being somewhat biased, as I am a very happy henna head. But we have very similar hair types, and the plant dyes have made an incredible difference to the condition and strength of my hair. If you really do still love your blonde, perhaps consider doing your color and then topping it off with cassia? Cassia is not as permanent as henna, so if you don't like it, you're not stuck with it, but you could enjoy the benefits while it lasts. I would as gently as possible suggest to you not to let others dissuade you from making changes you think are positive because they so helpfully tell you that they "don't think you would look good". I guess you ARE asking for opinions, but it almost sounds kind of rude to tell you how bad you would look as a strawberry blonde instead of platinum or whatever. It's your hair, and I'm sorry you are not happy with it, so it seems to me that perhaps a change might be in order. Henna is a commitment so take your time.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I think brown (that's not actually brown if you ask me, more like dark blonde?) looks just as good as blonde. Honestly, i think your complexion can handle any color you'd wear (judging from the photos).

I think what matters most is how YOU want your hair to be. If you don't feel beautiful wearing your own hair, what others think don't mean anything. If you loved brown hair but are afraid other people won't like it, you should still dye your hair brown. If you love red hair, use henna! If you love the way you look with bleach blonde hair, then keep using bleach! Healthy long hair is beautiful, but if you cannot adapt to the strict rules of long hair care and it makes you feel unhappy, it's so not worth it!

For example, when my hair was around your length, i had my hair dyed two shades lighter, reddish brown. Everyone loooooved it! I received more compliments on my hair than i have all my life. I was like "meh, it's a fresh new style". After three months or something, i started to feel worse and worse about my reflection on the mirror. My roots weren't too obvious but still i felt like i looked like an old lady. I even got permanent extensions with the same light brown color. It made my hair super long and looked gorgeous. Still, there was something MISSING. I took out the extensions and my hair was the thinnest it's ever been. That's when i decided to follow LHC again.

When i reached BSL, I snapped and dyed my ends"dark brown" (aka jet black) and i was like "OH MY GOD i feel gorgeous again!!" It looked horrid for others; my roots looked blond compared to the black ends. It was like reverse ombre. But i still felt fabulous. and that's what mattered most :)

[pixldust]

I think both the top left and bottom left in the browns section suited you. Not too dark, and with a nice warm undertone that complements your colouring.
If you want to have a change, do it. I kind of understand the reaction you get about not being blonde, I sometimes get that from people saying that I'd look better with short hair and that it suited me more. But, I'm happier with longer hair so that's what is more important. And so it should be with you. It's your hair, growing out of your head. You have to look at it in the mirror every day. So you should do what makes you feel happy and confident, not what others expect you to do. Gah, I hate it when people try to tell someone how they should look. They may mean it kindly, but it can really smash someone's confidence.
And Erin, you are not ugly. Not a chance. You are a beautiful looking woman and I wish you could have more confidence in yourself.

[Ingrid]

Just looked the picture you posted with your roots - they don't look "black" at all. Have you grown out your natural colour for very long before? You might be surprised that it's lighter than you think?

[two_wheels]

Just looked the picture you posted with your roots - they don't look "black" at all. Have you grown out your natural colour for very long before? You might be surprised that it's lighter than you think?
This- my roots would look like that against blonde, but now they're grown out, the natural colour is more golden brown/dark blonde/tawny. Not at all ashy or grey like I thought.

There is no way I would henna again without doing a semi in a matching colour for a few months to see if I liked it. I think it could suit you Erin but fear you might get frustrated with the root situation. I would try straight cassia first- I think your face can take the warmth, and it seems to make grow-out lines less distinct. You can always add from there.

[butterflybutton]

Here are roots. I wish the gray showed better.
http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/image_zps12a65021.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/image_zps12a65021.jpg.html)


Unless that is a very washed out pic, I'd put you at a mid brown even leaning towards light brown. But definitely not black.

You sound like you really would like to try red, it's just a matter of getting the right shade (or tone) the easiest way is to grab a few pieces of fabric in the primary and secondary colours and putting them up to your face to see which ones compliment your skin tone.

Yellow= gold hair
Orange = copper hair
Red is for red
Purple = violet hair
Blue = ash hair
Green = natural hair

Then once you work out which shades compliment you, you can decide on the level (darkens or lightness) that you would like.

Personally I think you'd look lovely with some foils/highlights maybe in a mid blonde with light blonde as well, and a nice way to trial the red would be to add a few red foils in the shade that suits. Then you can let your natural heathy hair grow though a bit and those very few greys will be disguised.

[MissBubble]

I really believe that you look beautiful in all pictures and colors. I can't see how anyone could say the opposite.
I think that redder tones and the warmer blonde hair makes you look more fresh.

[ooglipoo]

I did a strawberry blonde henna mix for *decades* and I loved it. I let is grow out because I wanted to see what my original natural color is like. I'm still confused. Blondette? I dunno...

Strawberry blonde would look great on you, IMO, and I also like the upper left of the browns.

The one thing I do know is if you use henna or gloss with a mix, your grays may become quite orange. I had an aunt who would not listen to me! She loved MY color, but her hair was all white. Did the strawberry blonde henna, and her hair was ORANGE.

You don't have to worry about it so much, as you're not full gray, but wow, did it seriously take to those light hairs.

I wish there was a concrete answer for you... it's so tricky. I'd pm Nightblooming's shop, if I were you. She's got great products, and her taste seems wonderful, and she's a kind helpful woman.

[Kherome]

I liked the darker brown photo the best. The blonde ones all wash you out to me. You look like you have a bit of a yellow tone to your skin that too closely matches the blond. I have a good friend who has the same sort of skin tone and she looks amazing with her dark brown hair.

If you're worried about grays just use cassia to make them blond instead and it'll look more like highlights rather than grays.

[walterSCAN]

First of all, you are beautiful! You look much younger than your age! :-)

I really like the last photo, and I think the reddish tint could work. However, my favourite colour of all of them is the top left photo in the "browns" section. It is so flattering against your skin tone. Is that your natural colour? I honestly think that it looks even nicer and more youthful than the blonde tones against your skin and features.

:flower:

The bolded above is exactly what I was going to say!

ETA--> Posted before I read the whole thread. :doh: I also agree with the others who have said your roots don't really look black... Looks like a light/ medium brown to me, and I can tell where the grays are but don't think they look bad!

I'm thinking the ombre idea you had was a good one-- just henna/ cassia over the whole thing for a year or so to push your natural color warmer and red-er (I did basically the same thing with straight henna over dark brown box dye for ~3 years until all I had left was hennaed hair). In my experience, henna blends the demarcation line a lot more smoothly than conventional dyes do. I agree that you should convo Nightblooming on etsy and ask for a consultation for your specific situation-- I think she could give you some helpful advice if you decide to go the henna/ cassia route.

Good luck finding something that makes you happy! :flower: I hate that no one is being supportive of you out in the real world... it is hard to deal with and very hurtful. Too bad they can't see that they are not being helpful.

[butter52]

I think its not about your skin tone, you can wear from white to black and look natural and beautiful. Probably the coments you get is because usually light hair colours soften the features, so maybe your acquaintances feel your face changes with darker shades.

I also hate not-asked critics about ones own hair choices, but thats another story.

So I think you should ask yourself: do you actually want to do something to your now blond hair lenght? If you like how it looks yet I think just dying roots is fine, It will grow out healthier if its just dyed once and taken care of.

If you actually want to darken it to conceal the damage Id totally try going for something natural and not damaging, after trying on some strands.

[PrincessPhoebe]

ErinLeigh, I'm new, but have followed your hair trials and tribulations from my lurkerdom. I really feel for you - I have had to choose between length/condition and colour. Highlights (even a few subtle ones) just damage my hair too much. I have gone natural for now, but I don't know how I'll feel if a lot more grey starts coming in. I too have looked at Nightblooming's strawberry blonde colour longingly, but am nervous of the commitment.

I really agree with this:


Just looked the picture you posted with your roots - they don't look "black" at all. Have you grown out your natural colour for very long before? You might be surprised that it's lighter than you think?

I don't think your roots are as dark as you think they are?

As for the colour pics you posted, I agree that anything warm toned looks great and I particularly like the strawberry blonde colour. I also like the warm browns.

Also, are these people in real life giving you unsolicited opinions about your hair colour, or are you asking for their feedback? If they are just coming out with it, then that really doesn't seem very helpful :(

[browneyedsusan]

First, you are drop-dead gorgeous. I can't believe you're 41?! You could easily pass for 15 years younger. (--I'm going to have to be mean to you now. Really. Nasty mean!)

I get the gray. You'd think your natural color would be the most flattering, but sometimes it isn't. It can be very unsettling. I went through a few years of trying to embrace my natural color, but just couldn't make peace with it. My hair used to be strawberry blonde until my mid-20's, and I was hoping it would make a re-appearance if I just left it alone, but it grew in ash brown and gray! *gasp* It made me sad. I'd color and highlight, and grow it to my shoulders the next year. Rinse and repeat for 3 or 4 years. Then, I gave up and kept it pixied. For me, red haircolor never stuck more than a week, so my new natural color was a big, fat, disappointment!

When I discovered henna, I was thrilled, but knew it would be fabulous, because my hair used to grow in red all by itself! You're coloring is different. My knee-jerk reaction is to advise against henna, because of the bleached parts. I don't know how it would work on processed hair. It might be fine on your darker roots, though?

IMHO, you'd look great with a dark color. Warm, dark chocolate would be gorgeous. Mysterious and exotic. :) If you really want to try henna, hennaing over dark hair isn't as obvious, and stains the grays auburn.

You could try a bunch of things to tweak your color. Temporary colors or rinses or mousses? Get some lowlights put in? I'm conservative with my hair, and would move along very gradually: probably get some lowlights/highlights throughout and grow the roots out a little more. Maintain current length for a while and remove the ends as they grow out. Every few months, get more lowlights to bring it closer to the root color, and blend in the gray. You could even have Hairdresser add some dark red lowlights as you grow the roots out? When your hair is dark, you could henna it then. If you don't like it, you can color over it darker, or reverse the process to grow the henna out.

Do as you please. It's your hair, and ought to make you happy. :flower:

[spidermom]

EL, I get the impression from you that you care very much what the other people in your life think of you. I imagine you going to a different color, and I see you being very unhappy because people around you are telling you that the blonde looked better. Therefore, I think staying blonde with roots-only would be the option that will make you feel the best in the long run. However, with doing it yourself, you are going to discover how impossible it is not to overlap onto hair that has already been bleached.

Personally, I'm a minimalist. I'd go the path of less work. I think browneyed susan has some good suggestions about adding some lowlights to blend with your natural color (which isn't black).

[Marika]

Top left brown is my favourite too and your roots look exactly like mine did when I was bleached blonde and my hair isn't really that dark at all. Now I actually think I could've just dyed my hair blonde without the bleach.

I'd be a little nervous about henna because of the bleach. It's really hard to tell how they are going to react. I'm sure Nightblooming could help you if you contacted her. I've also been really intrigued by henna lately so I understand why you would like to go that route.

Good luck finding the right choice! :flower:

[schnibbles]

I'm voting for the top left brown pic also. It makes your pretty complexion pop the most.

When I was in my 20's, I highlighted the crap out of my naturally dark hair for a few years. My whole head basically turned into one big highlighted head of hair. I was practically blonde. When I got sick of it, I had it dyed back close to my natural color right before my wedding. The reaction that I got from everyone (including my fiancee) was really sort of disappointing. Everyone was like - "what did you do to your hair?!?" in horror. :( It was my natural color, folks. Get used to it...

I think you can go from dark to light and everyone will love it, light to dark and people lose their minds. I think that's ridiculous, what looks good on *you* is what matters. I like a lot of browneyedsusan's suggestions. Go slow and gradual with whatever you choose.

[gonzobird]

If you had the right browny/Auburn color it would be beautiful on you. It's hard to tell from the pictures because they all look so different with the lighting. Is your skin tone warm or cool? If you hold a stark white piece of paper by your face... Does your skin look more yellow or pink? I've had blonde hair my whole life until was 32ish.... then I went crazy bright orange/red and almost had a heart attack I was so freaked out it would look bad but it was beautiful. (I'm very warm toned, almost yellow. .. so coppery orange looks great on me. Maroony Burgundy colors would make me look awful...Those are for more pinky toned skins)
Now I'm growing out my natural color..... it looked ashy yucky until it was past my eyebrows and now I love it. I have some greys that don't bother me too bad, but I'm eventually maybe going to throw elumen na@8 over parts of my natural to blend it together. Elumen is not damaging and I think na@8 would be a great color for you to cover your greys.
I know it just feels strange to not be blonde and I do miss it sometimes, for a minute. .. but I love my natural color. I can see you and your dark gorgeous eyes in some darker natural (your own color).
Elumen makes your hair shiny and beautiful and does have just enough grey coverage. I say go natural and elumen, but I'm all about natural color. Looks much more beautiful than processed hair to me. And not having to color it.... I love that.

[blue_eyes]

I don't have much advice to give, I just wanted to give you some support as you've done for me lately. :) I know sort of how you feel, I'd love to find a way to keep dyeing my hair without damage. I can also appreciate the pressure you're feeling from the people around you, especially your boyfriend; my boyfriend does not want me to dye or cut my hair at all, but as you know my ends need a chop and my grown out roots are getting me down. I think if it wasn't for him I'd have a much easier time making myself happy with my hair. I know it's easy for people to tell you to do what you want and ignore the opinions of others, but it isn't that easy is it?
I don't know anything about cassia or henna, so I'm not help there. I do know that getting lowlights can help blend darker roots into blonde hair. Because of this I don't think you'd need to get your hair lightened as frequently.

The only other thing I can think of mentioning is there should always be a color in each range (whether its blonde, brown, or even black), that should match your skintone. If you have a warm skintone (which you seem to by your photos), you should be able to rock some rich warm browns or dark browns. Is it possible that when you did have brown hair it may not have been the right one for your skintone? People with warm skintones also look amazing with golden blonde hair, as you do. I also think that it can be a shock to people when there is a substantial change in hair color (like blonde to brown, or brown to blonde), and maybe people are so stunned they can't see past it and appreciate the new look. Maybe a gradual change will help get people to adjust to it over time, in a positive way.

Sorry I can't be more help, but I hope you can figure out something that will make you happy!

[Nightshade]

Oh you're beating yourself up so much about this :(

Have you thought about walnut hull? I really like the brown on you (top left in your brown section), I think it's much more flattering to both your skin tone and brings out your eyes.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=112907

Here's a thread where a member used walnut hull to bring her bleach blonde hair to a natural brown. I think that might blend all your hair together nicely and not be too hard on upkeep :)

[walterSCAN]

Oh you're beating yourself up so much about this :(

Have you thought about walnut hull? I really like the brown on you (top left in your brown section), I think it's much more flattering to both your skin tone and brings out your eyes.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=112907

Here's a thread where a member used walnut hull to bring her bleach blonde hair to a natural brown. I think that might blend all your hair together nicely and not be too hard on upkeep :)

Ooo, yes, I like this idea, ErinLeigh!

[redredrobin]

Hi ErinLeigh. I haven't had time to look through all the replies, but I have read your opening posts and wanted to share that I also have the same thing with others telling me I look better blonde. It's a difficult thing to hear when you are wanting to not bleach (for whatever reason).

Blonde does look lovely on you. But so do the browns. And the reddish. And I think your natural colour is a bit lighter than you think.

I recall you have had lots of problems with hairdressers and dye etc, so I would take the time to think about what you want to do next, since colouring over bleach can be random. But also getting a new colour or new shade is really exciting, if you decide to do that.

[Nightshade]

Also, keep in mind for a lot of people "different" registers in their brain as "bad." Even if it isn't. Their brain sees change and goes "bad."

That does not mean, at all, that the browns or reds objectively look bad on you. They're just a change from what others are used to seeing on you. :)

[momschicklets]

Just wanted to chime in to say I also love the warm brown or blond tones on you, since you asked for preferences. I know it's very hard to set aside other people's opinions of how you look...I'm right there with you (especially with the SO). It can have such a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves and, at least for me, I still struggle with this and I'm also 41 :D I always try to come down on the side of having the opinion that we should do what it takes to love our hair. For some that means highlights, or covering gray (me!), or layers, or bangs, or bleaching. Perhaps you could download a pic of yourself on one of those online "virtual makeover" sites and play around a bit with color, highlights, etc. The Good Housekeeping site has one I've used. It's not perfect but it does help narrow the field a bit.

It seems to me you really want to have healthy hair first, and then a flattering color. I don't have any experience whatsoever with henna, but I did want to share with you that I also have about 15-20 percent gray and I use a demi-permanent, deposit-only color to cover it. If you wanted to stay lighter, or stay blond, I don't think you could go this route since you're natural hair is darker. But I use ion color brilliance demi and it works great to cover the gray and turn them into highlights, plus add a warm tone to my hair. In addition, it keeps my hair healthy and shiny, and that might work if you were okay with going a bit darker. Not as healthy as henna, but not near as damaging as permanent color or bleach. A middle ground per se.

And don't ever worry about talking about your hair too much...that's why this forum flourishes! I think I can speak for most here when I say I enjoy reading other people's stories, helping when I can, giving opinions (ha! who doesn't love that!) and suggestions when asked. I hope you can find a solution that works for you and makes you so, so happy with your hair....you deserve that! :blossom:

[Kherome]

Also, keep in mind for a lot of people "different" registers in their brain as "bad." Even if it isn't. Their brain sees change and goes "bad."

That does not mean, at all, that the browns or reds objectively look bad on you. They're just a change from what others are used to seeing on you. :)

This is very very very true.

[ErinLeigh]

Ugh phone is wacky!

[ErinLeigh]

You all have given me so much to think about.
If i could get a dye color that stuck, or a stylist who didn't overlap things would be different. I just can't get consistency even from using same color and stylists. Getting older and and being fine haired I want my hair to stay not dwindle away being eaten from bleach I suppose? Maybe that the fear. I'm super sensitive about it. I see the henna threads over bleach and the hair always looks thicker, smoother and stronger. It would be a good push in direction of health and retainment of growth. I mean I have never gotten past APL due to damage chops.

Khrome gave me some stuff to consider in another thread and I have been thinking about what do I want long term Heath wise as I struggle with chemical vs health. Its tough. It should be very interesting this week to see what I end up with.
It helps having feedback on colors other than washed out blonde. I do not know why it's favored but I am seeing its true what you all say. People equate different with "bad" when its really just a matter of getting used too.

I have grown out natural a few times and it gets darker not lighter which puzzles. I took the root under bright lights and the grays that didn't show lightened overall tone. It's pretty dark but it could be the contrast too so no argument from me.

All I can do is thank you all for input. Its hard getting real answers from real world. Sometimes a girl need someone to be honest so they can have good for though and I am appreciative.

Oh I will add a pic of what it looks like now. May be more helpful to see how washed out it really got.
As soon as u get to wifi I will. Its short and yellow and no bueno.

Removed

Ends are stringy with oil but this is true rep of color and why I am wanting to figure out a one time color fix as length can't handle much more

[ErinLeigh]

Triple post!!!!!

[MiaBeth]

You all have given me so much to think about.
If i could get a dye color that stuck, or a stylist who didn't overlap things would be different. I just can't get consistency even from using same color and stylists. Getting older and and being fine haired I want my hair to stay not dwindle away being eaten from bleach I suppose? Maybe that the fear. I'm super sensitive about it. I see the henna threads over bleach and the hair always looks thicker, smoother and stronger. It would be a good push in direction of health and retainment of growth. I mean I have never gotten past APL due to damage chops.

Khrome gave me some stuff to consider in another thread and I have been thinking about what do I want long term Heath wise as I struggle with chemical vs health. Its tough. It should be very interesting this week to see what I end up with.
It helps having feedback on colors other than washed out blonde. I do not know why it's favored but I am seeing its true what you all say. People equate different with "bad" when its really just a matter of getting used too.

I have grown out natural a few times and it gets darker not lighter which puzzles. I took the root under bright lights and the grays that didn't show lightened overall tone. It's pretty dark but it could be the contrast too so no argument from me.

All I can do is thank you all for input. Its hard getting real answers from real world. Sometimes a girl need someone to be honest so they can have good for though and I am appreciative.

Oh I will add a pic of what it looks like now. May be more helpful to see how washed out it really got.
As soon as u get to wifi I will. Its short and yellow and no bueno.

I think you'd look good with any color, ErinLeigh! I stopped highlighting my hair 2 years ago after a horrible "fry" job, and it's finally getting back to normal! I hated my natural color at first and thought it was dowdy, but I've come to embrace it. Perhaps you can grow out your natural color and just add face-framing blond highlights? Seems like that wouldn't be nearly as damaging as all-over highlights, but still you'd have some lighter streaks for dimension?

[meteor]

You look great in both blonde and brunette. You look especially good in the dark blonde/light brunette range IMHO. I think you can pull off easily most colors and shades, the only tricky ones would be black/very dark brown and platinum blonde, but you are not considering them anyway.
I'm a bit confused about what color you would want IDEALLY. I can only see that you don't want to show grays, then blonde is so much easier to maintain. I'd recommend cassia or cassia with just a tiny bit of henna. The strawberry blonde mix by Nightblooming can probably give you that shade, but you should probably talk to Nightshade about this directly. And don't forget that henna is high commitment and any dye/bleach on top can give unpredictable results.
If you decide to go darker, I'd recommend just a series of lowlights to gradually darken the look, to make sure you are really on the right path. And if you want to try a new color altogether (you mentioned red), I'd definitely try on a wig first, to make sure the red isn't clashing with your skin tone.

[ravenheather]

My personal opinion is bleach is harmful to anyone's hair and not worth it. I think you could do the strawberry blonde colorwise, but your natural color will be different. So you would have to deal with the ombre. Actually I think an ideal color would be your natural color with cassia or catnip. I think it would give lovely highlights. Of course it's just an opinion. You need to be happy with your hair.

[lapushka]

I'm thinking you might be better with a chemical blonde. I don't know how dark your natural color is, but if you are talking about dark, black roots with gray, then a strawberry colored henna is not going to give you blond. It's not going to give off *any* color on hair that dark. So your best bet, the way I see it, is chemical blonde. Dye isn't that bad, as long as you stay away from straightening methods.

What's your feeling about henna and red hair? Doesn't matter what the people around you think. What do you think?

[ErinLeigh]

My phone is stuck on page one so have to post to see next page. Odd
Sorry for empty post.

[ErinLeigh]

Strawberry blond calls a lot. I do like the idea with letting the dark how out and using cassia and then lightening the bangs.
Also roots only golden brown is good idea and let it ombré til grown out. Golden blond root touch up sound good too. You all have given me some awesome ideas.

[ErinLeigh]

Strawberry blond calls a lot. Henna/cassia glosses and just accepting the color is very appealing. I feel it would thicken hair a wee bit. I do like the idea with letting the dark grow out and using cassia and then lightening the bangs.
Also roots only golden brown is a good idea and let it ombré til grown out. Golden blond root touch up sound good too. You all have given me some awesome ideas. I am going to think real hard what I can commit to and be comfortable with.

[Natalia]

Please pardon my tired brain if i misunderstand. But if you would like to syap blond have you considered cassia with marigold/calendula tea as a "dye". You could also ass chamomile or any number of yellowish herbs as well. Im not grey yet so i cant speak to that. I hope someon can help you out i now how fustrating it is not liking your natural color (natural blonde and it doesnt suit me so i henna gloss).

[Sagi1982]

I like the darker blonde and the strawberry blonde best.
(And I would kill for your complexion.)

[ErinLeigh]

I think I found a cut to start with to remove the rest of choppy layers and a lot more bleached ends. I like the dark and strawberry hues also and may be able to get something with henna and cassia that's close enough to deal with. Mine would just be oranger. I am so eager to try some test strands this week. The ideas have been amazing.

Sagi that is sooo sweet. I have hated my skin since i was 24. I suffered from adult acne and it hurt my confidence a lot. It just started getting better with a new routine using honey, citric acid and benzoyl peroxide.

I never worried about color damage much in the past but as all of you share you stories and I see my own hair it started sinking in a bit. I guess it shook me a little. I know this thread was a little depressing and confusing to follow. It's just the idea of a new way is radical for me so it is hard to say what I want. How do you get lighter hair and not ruin it you know?
The ideas are good and I am glad to have things to ponder. :)

http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsaf6ad6aa.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsaf6ad6aa.jpg.html)

[LauraLongLocks]

^^ Is that your hair or a pic of someone else?

[ErinLeigh]

Still having to post to get to back page. Not sure why this glitch on this thread only. Will edit once I see the replies

Laura someone else's on the Pinterest site. It just stuck me as doable with my texture, color and hair type. What are your thoughts? Your opinion means a lot to me.
You told me before your hair seemed to feel thicker when you stopped chemicals and also added henna and it stuck with me. As I age I am caring a little more about retention if that makes sense.
I am going to henna gloss the underside hair with the strawberry mix before cutting to see how it looks ( like we discussed). This way if I don't like it it will be removed by cut... And if I do .. Bonus as then I will finally know.

[Katrine]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling frustrated about your hair. I think your hair is very pretty and it sounds like you have been doing well with it. Would it be possible for you to just focus on experimenting with color right now instead of color and cut? The pic you posted is lovely but it looks to have layers in the back. Are you sure you want to lose any length right now? It sounds like you've been making good progress and you have lots to think about with the options you have in regards to color.

Also, I've been seeing a number of posts about cutting lately. I wonder if it has to do with spring, a fresh start after a long hard winter....

Whatever you decide, you know you will get support here. Please keep us posted on how you do with the color. You've gotten lots of great feedback! :)

[ErinLeigh]

Katrine you are right. I am getting getting up in spring fever and should step back and wait a bit before chopping more. I have gone so much shorter since joining here. 4 cuts each removing more length.
The cut posted would basically take of the bottom length and the layers left are what I have now. It would look like that if I cut the bottom hence why I though about it. Its closer than the huge layer line I have now. But I am tired of losing length so thanks for reminding me of that so i remember to think hard first. I'm quite impulsive being an Aries :)

I decided to test the henna on the underside layer.
This way I can see what color the roots and length would be. Worst case it could be trimmed off slowly and wouldn't change much in overall appearance. But then I can finally see what color u would get. I can't wait to try and post results.
I should be able to find time Monday so excited.

[YamaMaya]

I think you should stop listening to others and figure out what you want for your hair then go from there.

[two_wheels]

I'm happy to see you stepping away from the scissors :scissors: :lol:

I saw how hard you worked to gain length, and would hate to see you frustrated again.

Your plan sounds good and gentle. I would still do a temporary dye first just to see the colour against my face, but I am scarred from my previous henna-impulsiveness! :blossom:

[lapushka]

Yes, OMG, what's this sudden interest in cutting it again? And layers no less? Surely not. I'm also thinking it's spring fever. Even with the color. Also, don't test strand on hair that's still attached. If you're wanting to go that fast, without taking the time to collect shed hair over a number of days/weeks, then something's up (and it ain't right)!

[Quasiquixotic]

Yes, OMG, what's this sudden interest in cutting it again? And layers no less? Surely not. I'm also thinking it's spring fever. Even with the color. Also, don't test strand on hair that's still attached. If you're wanting to go that fast, without taking the time to collect shed hair over a number of days/weeks, then something's up (and it ain't right)!

There is loads of wisdom here.

[LauraLongLocks]

Still having to post to get to back page. Not sure why this glitch on this thread only. Will edit once I see the replies

Laura someone else's on the Pinterest site. It just stuck me as doable with my texture, color and hair type. What are your thoughts? Your opinion means a lot to me.
You told me before your hair seemed to feel thicker when you stopped chemicals and also added henna and it stuck with me. As I age I am caring a little more about retention if that makes sense.
I am going to henna gloss the underside hair with the strawberry mix before cutting to see how it looks ( like we discussed). This way if I don't like it it will be removed by cut... And if I do .. Bonus as then I will finally know.

Clarification: My hair was virgin before I did my henna/cassia glosses and my henna ombre.

Yes, my hair felt smoother, stronger, and thicker after using henna. I've been trying to do S&D sessions and can find very few new splits. I attribute this to the henna and the oils, plus wearing my hair up to reduce friction against clothing and chairs.

I think your plan is a good one. You will get a feel for what the red will do in your hair before doing all of your hair. I would hate to see you chop it off, though. You'd be making backwards regression instead of forward progress with having long hair. It would make me sad to think of you losing what length you still have left since your last cut.

I wish you felt that going to your natural color, with maybe a henna/indigo mix to cover your greys, was an option for you. If it was, I would tell you to do a henna/indigo over your bleach to get a brown color close to your natural, and then your roots would blend just fine as it grows out. I think the henna over your natural color would warm it up, and the mix with indigo would make the greys a closer match to your natural color.

Honestly, you have a face and skin tone that will look pretty with a lot of different hairstyles/lengths and colors. Most likely, people in real life have seen you with blonde hair enough that they are accustomed to it, and that may be the reason that they say they miss the blonde when you have chosen other colors. A bleach blonde lady at church recently dyed over her bleach to return to her natural medium brown and it was a shock for me. It looks good. It just took some getting used to. I'm certain that people will get used to whatever color you choose. The important thing is that YOU like it. So, don't worry about the naysayers. Gosh, can't make everyone in life happy! :shrug:

[ErinLeigh]

ErinLeigh, I'm new, but have followed your hair trials and tribulations from my lurkerdom. I really feel for you - I have had to choose between length/condition and colour. Highlights (even a few subtle ones) just damage my hair too much. I have gone natural for now, but I don't know how I'll feel if a lot more grey starts coming in. I too have looked at Nightblooming's strawberry blonde colour longingly, but am nervous of the commitment.

I really agree with this:



I don't think your roots are as dark as you think they are?

As for the colour pics you posted, I agree that anything warm toned looks great and I particularly like the strawberry blonde colour. I also like the warm browns.

Also, are these people in real life giving you unsolicited opinions about your hair colour, or are you asking for their feedback? If they are just coming out with it, then that really doesn't seem very helpful :(

Thank you for coming out of lurkedom and adding to comments. Its so important to hear when people understand.
I want to be lighter so bad but I have the worst luck at salons.
I crave chemical damage free hair and it's such a struggle. Its great to see how strong you are making changes.

[ErinLeigh]

I wish my phone would let me see all the replies better so I could respond. I can see like one or so randomly at a time with no rhyme or reason, Which is weird. My phone has a glitch on this thread. I hate not responding when someone takes time and gives really good advice or thoughtful feedback. Can't wait to get to my laptop so I can really see some these better and weigh them out. It's been very helpful what I can see and retain. If I am ignoring something I apologize. I will check them when I get home tomorrow. I can see by page count people took time to comment so I'm sorry to be missing them.

You guys are all awesome and your opinions are always thoughtful and wise so im darn eager to see them.

[spidermom]

I've watched stylists sectioning and supposedly touching up roots only, but I can see that it's really hard to avoid overlap. They'd have to slow way down, and it would take 3 times as long and probably cost 3 times as much. Even then, I think there would be some overlap because they're working with a liquid, and it doesn't stay only where it's put. It's going to run a bit - no getting around it. Please don't think stylists are incompetent because they can't avoid overlapping; it's nearly impossible.

I hope you like the henna results. To be very honest, I think the blonde washes you out, and a darker color would suit you much more.

[DragonFlyPie]

Haven't read all the comments yet, but I think the darker brown hair compliments you much more than the blonds :)

[ErinLeigh]

EL, I get the impression from you that you care very much what the other people in your life think of you. I imagine you going to a different color, and I see you being very unhappy because people around you are telling you that the blonde looked better. Therefore, I think staying blonde with roots-only would be the option that will make you feel the best in the long run. However, with doing it yourself, you are going to discover how impossible it is not to overlap onto hair that has already been bleached.

Personally, I'm a minimalist. I'd go the path of less work. I think browneyed susan has some good suggestions about adding some lowlights to blend with your natural color (which isn't black).

Yea I get to see another one.
How do I explain. Remember when you cut from classic to waist and loved it, yet posted a thread about being a little bummed that you may have lost hair idol status? Its a bit like that. You care but don't you know? I have lived a very unconventional life and have no issue making decisions against the norm so its nothing like that ..yet when it comes to appearance there is always a small part that craves a little acceptance. Will it change me or my life, no. But there's that one little part that wants to hear "hey this looks good."

The people I meet give negative feedback when I change color. I miss the compliments I get when it colored a certain way but even deeper I wonder what it is they are seeing that makes them say what they do I.e looking older, goth, features standing out badly or whatever. Since I didn't love the other colors enough to care one way or the other it was easy to believe "ok dark is bad." If I felt strongly enough nothing would deter me. But I am unsure so need advice.
As I start to be kinder to my hair blond seems a little more damaging than other options. I wanted to post some color options to see if you all see the same negatives people in my life do...or if it truly them just being used to me a certain way like others have said. I needed input from uninterested parties if that makes sense.

Hope I explained it well. I have got to look for Susan's reply then! Love her comments. I am thinking about blending the grays and leaving it dark and letting it ombré until gone. I found a pic of me in my 20s with natural color. It's not horrid so I'm keeping it as an option. I want something easy. I did my roots and highlights last time myself and it came out ok but I have figured I better pick a color and live it if I don't want my hair breaking off. I would rather a stylist do it but I always get screwed and end up pissed and posting my misery. I want a minimalist routine but not sure what that means yet which is why these ideas are helping so much.

Oh the cut I posted...that would not require more layers. That's what I would have if I chopped of the rest of my "mullet."
I think I saw a comment about layers. Yes that would be correct, I want no more new layers.

[ErinLeigh]

I found some brown and reddish hues that are easier to see than the other one.
Hopefully by posting my phone will let me see some more of your ideas. Still having the phone glitch on thread and still puzzled by it. My phone got a little wet so I don't know what's phone, or if I hit some weird setting. I worry these are huge since I can't edit them so I promise to take them down soon.

EDIT TO REMOVE


I've been doing a lot of thinking about all this and came to conclusion I never really cared about hair color much. I just would get what stylist would pick for me and when feedback was positive I felt good about it and when it wasn't I would decide I didn't like it. This whole deliberately choosing color based in my own opinion is new to me. Since I am doing it myself I guess I am just trying to be more sure as I feel I only have one chance to get it right.

I decided I do like the brown and I want to know why people tell me it makes me look old, "goth" or harsh.
I like the blond only when there are lots of low lights I decided. I hate the bleached out look on me after much consideration. I like my natural color as long as it has some Ombre fade on the ends, And I like red hues in all circumstances. Its a fun color and its vibrancy makes me happy. Now I have to pick one option and run strand tests but I want to read the opinions first. I want to pick the option that will be easiest to maintain and I have a feeling there are good tips in this thread. Really excited to start a new chapter and a new look.

[divinedobbie]

ErinLeigh, you look so young and beautiful in the second picture. The first picture looks nice as well but it's a lot more grainy and no smile. Your smile looks so pretty :).

I think that people are not positive about the brown because it's just something they're not used to seeing on you, but I really liked it. It's great that you're taking the time to learn what you like, that's definitely going to be the best route in the future. I'm sure whatever option you choose, you'll look beautiful, you seem to be able to pull off a lot.

[Quasiquixotic]

So in reading your latest post, I admit I haven't kept up with the whole of this thread, I think growing out your natural color is the way to go. Maybe henna ombré the ends for a punch of red. If you decide your natural color isn't warm enough then do a henna/cassia gloss over the whole thing. I believe it will slowly build up and darken as you do it so the ends will be more saturated than your roots naturally. But I'm not a henna expert.

I really like your second photo. It's my experience that bleach creates damage no matter how often or much you use. Health wise, you best bet is to find a variation on your natural color that is achievable with herbs or henna. And if you can't find a color in that range you like, maybe you think about having shorter hair and keeping up the blonde. I don't believe hair has to be long to be beautiful. And if you do go that way, you'll know you are choosing the blonde for YOU that time, not because "everyone says" kwim?

You really are quite beautiful and I'm not sure you could have a bad hair color, IMHO.

Good luck and I wish you hair health!

[LauraLongLocks]

Love the second photo in your last post, Erin. I have to give another vote to giving your natural color a try. I bet it will look really nice on you. Dark hair is distinctive and striking, but then, I'm biased. ;)

[Flor]

I have lived a very unconventional life and have no issue making decisions against the norm so its nothing like that ..yet when it comes to appearance there is always a small part that craves a little acceptance. Will it change me or my life, no. But there's that one little part that wants to hear "hey this looks good."

You kinda have to decide what matters to you more, what you want to look like or what others want you to look like. Your opinion is ONE, people will have MANY (and different too!). You'll never please them all. It's just downright easier to make up your mind and get it right, if you do what YOU want. I know people in real life who feel like they have to get approval for every new item of clothing they buy, for every new haircut. It's exhausting. They deny themselves the right to listen to their own opinion first and foremost, and it seems like they're never truly happy with their decision, unless they get plenty compliments on it.

At the end of the day, it's just hair color! You look good on all of the photos you posted. Pick one that you want to have, based on your own considerations of what looks good and future hair care ease.

[ErinLeigh]

When I think about it I wrote the thread title depressed/confused for a reason.
When things are bad in my life I tend to hyper focus on insignificant things to remove myself from having to deal with the real stuff.
Maybe I should just buy some headbands and give myself some time, and actually address what the real issues are right now? I love having an escape but it's probably not healthy if I am escaping for the wrong reasons. I mean why am I forcing myself to choose a look right now? Looking better won't make life better and I need to remember that. Red hair isn't going to make my problems go away, although I wish it would :)

[blue_eyes]

When I think about it I wrote the thread title depressed/confused for a reason.
When things are bad in my life I tend to hyper focus on insignificant things to remove myself from having to deal with the real stuff.
Maybe I should just buy some headbands and give myself some time, and actually address what the real issues are right now? I love having an escape but it's probably not healthy if I am escaping for the wrong reasons. I mean why am I forcing myself to choose a look right now? Looking better won't make life better and I need to remember that. Red hair isn't going to make my problems go away, although I wish it would :)

You definitely aren't alone, I do the same thing. I had a really bad 3-4 years a while ago and at the worst moments I'd bleach my black hair blonde. I remember a stylist also once commenting that she knew a lot of people who would take their stress out on their hair; kinda like "if I change my hair I'll change my life!" kind of idea. But you're right, a changing your hair color won't make the problems go away. I think you're right to take your time, after all there is no rush, and the longer you leave your hair alone the more it grows and the less damage it sees :) I know it can be really tough to not just do something, especially if you're unsure or unhappy with the way your hair is right now, but I think holding off can really pay off in the long run.

[Quasiquixotic]

You aren't alone. I do this too. Maybe not with hair color but with shopping and clothes. It's never end helped and then I just feel worse for having spent money. It's really hard to stand in the middle of hell and address it instead of escaping into some other distraction. Good luck!

[LauraLongLocks]

Erin, I'm so glad you decided to give it some time. I used to cut my hair when I broke up with a boyfriend. Silly thing to do, it got shorter and shorter, lol!

[IGIT]

ErinLeigh, I just like you so much! You look fresh and smiling! Hope you choose to have your natural color back for the sake of convenience. I know graying might be difficult to stand... wish you the very best.

[spidermom]

Thanks for delving a bit deeper with me. I do understand what you mean. I still feel that way myself - my current hair makes me happy but I still miss the "hair idol" status. There's a current thread about "whose hair do you want?" and my hair used to always turn up in threads like that, but not this time. Not the last time I checked anyway. Where it counts, I really don't care. Nobody else has to deal with the awful ends I get around tailbone length or heavy buns pulling at my scalp. Still, a teeny part of me wants the attention that my extra-long hair brought.

I'm glad you're exploring the options for yourself.

[Quasiquixotic]

Thanks for delving a bit deeper with me. I do understand what you mean. I still feel that way myself - my current hair makes me happy but I still miss the "hair idol" status. There's a current thread about "whose hair do you want?" and my hair used to always turn up in threads like that, but not this time. Not the last time I checked anyway. Where it counts, I really don't care. Nobody else has to deal with the awful ends I get around tailbone length or heavy buns pulling at my scalp. Still, a teeny part of me wants the attention that my extra-long hair brought.

I'm glad you're exploring the options for yourself.

How long was your hair before you cut it? I'm pretty sure I'm newer to the forum than your cut. I first heard your name from spidermom's bun. I don't remember the thread, I think it was about hemlines, and you posted a photo of your layers. I think it was very pretty. I'd be honored to have your hair.

I understand both of your points. I can see how having something rare and considered beautiful - pretty blonde or long hair - could be comforting. And losing that, even by your own free choice, could rankle at times, even if you wouldn't undo the choice. That's hard to deal with. Hugs to you both!

[ErinLeigh]

I just got home and started reading these and everything is so kind and helpful.
I need to reply to some but will start with the last few.
Blueeyes, Your words helped me a lot. More than you know.
Laura your support has been amazing. I love being able to talk with you. ITs good to know I have your rooting for me as my greys come out to visit. lol

Spidermom, yes exactly like that. I don't have great hair but when its a certain color I get a lot of really flowing feedback and it feels good. I know what you mean. It's not going to be our driving force, but it's something that can me missed once in a while if it changes.
In your case tho though you still get the envy I lose. man oh man if I could have your I would hop on yours in a minute. I really applauded your choice. Classic rocks but I fell in love with the V. It suits you, its full, lovely and amazing and brought some nice waves that I envy. I was so glad to see you be proud of it because you should be. Sometimes there is more to our hair than the calculated inches. Hair idol status goes so much beyond length. You have maintained long healthy gorgeous hair, but more than that, you have provided countless advise and support to others on how to get comfortable with our own locks. I admire you greatly and your hair. You comfort in your own skin is inspiring.
Honestly your posts gave me a lot to think about. Its what led me to the decision to stand down and wait until I figure something out myself. I never did anything by the norm and sometimes I feel I missed some major life milestones doing things that way. I care too much what people think about stupid things, and not enough about what they think on things that should matter. I needed to digest your words to really see that but I am glad i got to see your post early enough to give me time to process. It helped with more than hair actually.

IGIT you totally made my day. Stopping by with a kind word can change someones whole outlook. Its a pay it forward I always try to remember. Smiles have been hard to come by and you got one out of me!!! Felt good.

Flor, If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't be so wishy washy. I have been molded into such a people pleaser I lose myself. Sometimes I feel I don't like or dislike anything, I feel middle of the road all the time which is a crap place to be. That's why I am putting myself in a time out to teach myself I need to find where I stand on things. You know what they say "stand for nothing, fall for anything" I feel kind of lost in that and want to get to know myself better. If hair is step one I will take it. Maybe after choosing something I decide I like I can apply that to other areas of my life.

Quasiquixotic thank you for understanding. That is exactly how it is.

I have a few pages to go back and read still. I really want to see some ideas and replies. Darn work is slowing me down. HA
I was pissed i made a thread and only saw 1/4 the posts. Felt rude. Hopefully i can finish soon.
GOODNESS, my pics came out big. yikes, will take them own so I don't slow page loading or scare away any children looking over moms shoulders.

[ErinLeigh]

ErinLeigh, you look so young and beautiful in the second picture. The first picture looks nice as well but it's a lot more grainy and no smile. Your smile looks so pretty :).

I think that people are not positive about the brown because it's just something they're not used to seeing on you, but I really liked it. It's great that you're taking the time to learn what you like, that's definitely going to be the best route in the future. I'm sure whatever option you choose, you'll look beautiful, you seem to be able to pull off a lot.

Thank you so much. The 2nd pic was right around my 40th birthday and i was feeling a little mid life crises-ey. I remember not wanting pic taken and that smile was very self conscious. Looking back it was silly. Why not document the passing of another year? We all age and change and I am seeing I cant stop it and its actually ok.
I have been following your own story and glad to see you make some choices for yourself also. Seems like we are are learning and growing together. :) Feels good to have a network of support to get honest answers one cant find them in daily life. Your hair came out fabulous by the way.

[ErinLeigh]

NIGHTSHADE AND WALTERSCAN. YES!
I read that thread with great interest. I also saw someone review a custom Nightblooming brown mix also.. I always feel odd Pming someone asking for their time, especially someone so busy, but when I read that post the first thing i thought was this may be exactly what I am looking for and I may need to seek advise on right amounts. Its really a good solution my gut tells me. It would help me grow out natural and blend the greys, yet still give me some depth and a little color alteration.
Thank you both for bringing that one back to my attention and for taking time to stop in and offer advice.

redrobin, yes it is so hard hearing what you secretly don't want to hear. When I went the darkest brown it felt like silk and I thought I looked a bit more like my ancestory. I felt so down when everyone's eyes bugged out and the comments came rolling. I had done it myself too without a stylist so it was easy to belive it was "bad." Also, You are sooo right. I have tons of problems with stylists. I ask for the same mix, same cut everytime, and each time you would think I went to someone new. I swear I have a hair jinx. Thank you for reminding me that this is dicey in my situation. I got so bleached out overtime with the constant highlights and it did a number on hair. If I cant stand up and say "stop" when I see them doing it I have no business being in their chair.

gonzobird..elumen? I recall a thread about that. Will look at it. Its awesome you found a solution. I need to see what that is all about.

schnibbles, good for you for going into wedding with your natural color. What is it with the disappionted eyes? Its like people only approve when we bleach ourselves out when they should be applauding the decision to have healthy hair. I see your picture and love the color. Its odd to think you would get any other reaction and yet I know it so well. I can only hope my color pics up the hues yours did. It's stunning.

momchicklets...I love ION colors. Was the demi using a 10 volume developer? I didnt think the demi would hide gray. Its good to know you got coverage as I think we have the same percentage. Thank you for the advice and the understanding.

Marika, I know! had I known in advance I end up blond all over I could have spared the excessive damage and just had roots done blonde every few weeks. I should have been keeping my eye on things and added lowlights and not highlights. It took me a while to notice they were running those foils all the way down the length each and every time, plus adding new ones on the few dark hairs I had left. By the time i did I was afraid to dye some dark again since hair was so fragile and I know they color wold leech off anyway from the overbleaching porosity issues.

Susan, not mean at all I thought it was nice! Personally I think its excellent advice. I am glad you took the time to write that out.

butter52 HI! welcome :) yes, that's exactly what it is , Everyone says blond softens my look. Apparantly I look harsh to people in real life. I hear it all, dark hair makes my undereye bags more noticible, my skin greyish yellow, makes my nose bigger, eyes smaller, and my running favorite..my face looks crooked. It seems I have a Picasso face. lol Its nice to read people understand the things I hear. Either I am pretty scary looking or people are just rude. :)

2 pages left, Will be back tomorrow to finish thread.. I know its silly I feel the need to reply to as many as possible but the ideas and support so kind I feel it would be wrong not to acknowledge.

[ErinLeigh]

Erin, I'm so glad you decided to give it some time. I used to cut my hair when I broke up with a boyfriend. Silly thing to do, it got shorter and shorter, lol!

Good think you are married so I can enjoy your growth journey. :) :) Your hair is growing so fast. You weren't even at waist when you joined and now your at HIP. I love it. Its getting silkier looking and longer every new update.

[browneyedsusan]

I was teasing you mercilessly! --glad you picked up on that!--

It sounds like you're getting your head around a game plan. IMHO: You'll look gorgeous no matter what you choose. Really. Your face is so pretty, I don't think you can possible screw your hair up enough to detract from it. (Still --> Go team Brown! :cheer: )

When you change your hair; friends and family squawk about it for about a week, then they get over it. (Been there. I changed every month or 6 weeks when I had the pixie. It was still short, but I went through every color and cut combination imaginable.) My MIL is still mourning a blonde pixie I wore for a while. Stinks to be her! :lala: If you like your hair, you'll feel better and more confident and strong. Just go with it and enjoy the ride. You'll be a head-turner no matter what you end up with. :cheese:

[Quasiquixotic]

How are you doing?

[ErinLeigh]

Roots are past the one inch mark. So far I haven't touched them. This is the longest I have gone! If I wear my hair slicked back all you see if my natural color if I am looking straight on. Its different but so far it hasn't bothered me enough to do anything about it. Still taking things day by day.

Thank you so much for checking in on me. I have been stalking you in other threads marveling at how you get your updos!! Your hair looks fantastic. I just tried your braided peacock tuck and it helped a lot with the nape hairs. :)

[Quasiquixotic]

Roots are past the one inch mark. So far I haven't touched them. This is the longest I have gone! If I wear my hair slicked back all you see if my natural color if I am looking straight on. Its different but so far it hasn't bothered me enough to do anything about it. Still taking things day by day.

Thank you so much for checking in on me. I have been stalking you in other threads marveling at how you get your updos!! Your hair looks fantastic. I just tried your braided peacock tuck and it helped a lot with the nape hairs. :)

Sometimes day by day IS how life is supposed to go. I'm not sure if you like affirmations but one I've found really helpful when I'm not liking things is: "This IS what life looks with when everything is working." :blossom:

Aww thanks! I'm also growing out color, but my natural color is an ashy blonde. It's the color in the 8/13 photo in my siggy. The crazy color changing hair you see in my photos is my washed out hendigo from feb or march, I don't remember. :shrug:

That braided peacock do is awesome :happydance:. But my secret is I just redo my hair often. I haven't gotten much to stay besides a ponytail, a braided peacock held with a ficcare, or a braided peacock with a 5 prong jeter. So yeah, if it's not one of those 3, it either didn't last long or I redid it every 1-3 hrs...but every month it gets a little bit easier. I'm gonna be all over this board once I figure out hair sticks.:run:

[Gelsomina]

ErinLeigh, just to chime in with my 2 cents: I've only seen one of your roots pictures, and have to say your natural color doesn't look black. Second, I went bleach blonde myself last year and then ended the year with henna. I tried to dye my hair its natural color after being blonde, but the bleach damage made it so porous that no color would stay--except at the roots. If I had known in advance that my hair wouldn't hold dye after being bleached, I would have saved myself the damage and trouble of dyeing it 4 or 5 times with box dyes before I finally gave up and dyed it with henna.

The saga goes like this: Ready to grow out bleach blonde (I am a natural dark blonde), I tried light brown twice over the course of a couple months, and it faded to dirty blonde (and lighter than my roots). Then, I tried a darker light brown, hoping that when it faded, it would fade to something like my natural color --no, it went GREEN, because the bleaching had removed all the red that a brown box dye assumes you already have in your hair, so then I had to rush out that evening for a box of red dye to put on top of the green. And then? Then, my roots held the red and everything else faded back to dirty blonde. A month later, I got a haircut and then tried a box of Feria (Loreal's very, very reds). Again, only the roots held the color. Then, I did henna, and the henna stayed. So, now I am growing out henna.

If only I had a time machine. I'd go back a year and tell myself to just stop at one box of light brown, be dirty blonde, and grow from there. But my main point to you is I feel your pain, and good luck to you! :)

[LauraLongLocks]

Good think you are married so I can enjoy your growth journey. :) :) Your hair is growing so fast. You weren't even at waist when you joined and now your at HIP. I love it. Its getting silkier looking and longer every new update.

Ha ha! Yes, it's good I finally settled down, lol! It doesn't feel like my hair is growing fast. It seems to be averaging a half inch a month. Anyway, I'm really excited to watch your journey, too. We joined around the same time, so I feel like we are growth buddies.

[ErinLeigh]

Gelsomina, Yes its not black but it is a really dark brown. Realistically its a level 2. The pic is a really poor representation of the darkness since it was taken under extreme lighting. Pic looked light grey to me actually. When I shaved my head and it grew back it was referred to as black by everyone so I got accustomed to calling it that shade. Next to roots in real life it looks that way too. Once it gets past an inch or 2 it starts to be a more normal level 2.

I agree bleached lengths are tough. They don't want to hold color. I find the deposit only colors actually hang on a little better than the permanent ones so I may just play around with Roux color enhancing conditioning packets on the length one day. The fact my hair is as multicolored as a calico cat right now makes its a tough call on what to do so I have been putting it off. If I henna my ends will be orange. If I dye dark it will just fade. I am torn between henna/cassia gloss and taking the orange, or doing roots 7N, 7G, 8N, or 8G and since I cant decide I have done nothing. I was going to do the underside of my hair with the henna last Monday but my morning horoscope that day said "do not change your look today, a new haircut will have unpleasant results" so needless to say i didn't do it :)

Its the green I fear the most. Once you bleach out the pigments it is sooo easy to go green. Even neutral shades will pull green on my bleached hair. The green always takes more than the red when coloring. Even though I fade brassy I will pull green easiest if that makes sense. I don't even bother coloring my length ever due to that. I feel you on that. I really appreciate you stopping by to offer support, sorry for the super long reply. Its nice when someone understand all the complexities you deal with with changing color.

Laura, yes feel same way about out join date except we are going in opposite directions LOL. I joined at APL and went to SL. You were above waist and now are hip. I am proud of you. YOu do keep me on track though and have talked me out of some silly ideas and I really appreciate it.

[morrigan*]

Glad you're doing better. I don't know if this would help but when someone asked me when i had obvious roots while growing out colour, or just talk swayed us that way i would just say that i dont colour my hair anymore since i'm allergic. I did experience itching and red scalp while colouring so this could be partially true, but no one pester me about not colouring my hair.

[browneyedsusan]

Good idea, morrigan*! Chemical dyes irritated my scalp too. It always took me a couple of days for things to settle back down.

OP: I'm glad you're doing better. You're a tough cookie to muscle through this.
I'm cheering you on toward hair happiness! :cheer:

[ErinLeigh]

Thanks you!!!

[LauraLongLocks]

Oh (((((Erin))))) your starting point was in a more difficult spot than mine when we both joined in October. Dealing with chemical bleach/dye and hairstylists butchering is not the same as starting with virgin hair with only a few bits of layers left to grow out (though I have had much shorter hair than you have right now, and I'm here to say that hair grows back... I've grown out 3 pixies in my life, at ages 9, 15, and 31... NEVER AGAIN!). I have learned a lot from you. You seem to be very knowledgeable about conventional and natural, DIY hair products and recipes and oils.

I feel your concern about getting green. Can you save up some sheds and color them to see what happens? Funny that you followed your horoscope, lol! I haven't checked mine in years. If/when you do the henna/cassia on the underside, I really want to see pics! In the meantime, rock those dark roots! Don't give a flip what others might think.

[ErinLeigh]

Girl you will be the first to see it! I'm going to do underside Sunday hopefully. I looked at shed hairs and due to the different colors, bleach and dyes there is too much variation for a good shed sample. Some are outright clear. Underside will be only true way to know how it will look on roots and length... and the curiosity is too intense not to try it.
What's the worst that can happen? I have shiny orange hair that no one sees unless worn up? I'm willing to risk that although that horoscope scared me enough to put it off considering the timing. Having anything outright say "don't change your hair today" on a day i was going change it is enough to scare me off, even if it is some silly phone app. My hair luck isn't good enough to not to believe impending hair disaster. Hehe

[Gardezbien]

Where do you get cassia ? What is it?

[Unofficial_Rose]

If you don't want to do serious proper henna there is always Surya Henna Cream. The Light Brown shouldn't turn your hair green. It's a gentle deposit-only dye with just "henna extract" (whatever that means). It does fade quickly but that just makes it safer to experiment with.

[redredrobin]

Hi ErinLeigh, just checking into this thread as I saw you replied to me and wanted to reply back :).

Is it the gloss thing that you are doing this weekend? (excuse me, saying gloss thing, hopefully you know what I mean!). The only thing I thought was that if your roots are fairly dark, and you end up doing a full head gloss later on, you may not see much colour change on the roots and be growing out strawberry blonde rather than highlights, but with the same kind of demarcation line. That's just a though if the root/colour line was bothering you. I have no idea how those glosses actually look just thinking out loud.

I managed to dye my highlights brown without going green, although I appreciate it's different for everyone. It has faded a bit now but fortunately just to a faded version of the colour, rather than anything too green or too red. I don't love it, but it was only ever a fix not a perfect solution.

I wondered if you had thought any more about how long you wanted to grow your hair? I see you don't have a goal. If you're not planning to grow long you probably have a lot more options, at least in my experience my hair was way more resilient at "shorter" lengths.

You said you like chatting about hair on here so hopefully this post is useful rather than brings more confusion!!!

[ErinLeigh]

So I tried a henna/cassia gloss but it ended up not working. I did something wrong. Either didn't get the dye to release properly, let if on too short a time, or my henna was old (I bought it over 7 months ago and didn't store properly I assume.)

My roots were almost 1.5 inches and I was stunned how much grey I have. On the sides above ear were very very grey. YIKES.
I finally broke down today and bought some ION Hair Dye at Sally's today and slopped it onto the roots (bf did the back for me.) I was nervous about a disaster, stressed about overlap..but all in all it came out ok and I am much happier not seeing dark roots with grey hair and a blond length. There are a few greys that didn't take but that always happens even with stylist. That is why I think henna may be the ultimate answer one day.

I went with a warm golden brown color and will grow out an ombre. Still have thoughts of trying the gloss again but for now I will leave things be.

Here is the final result. I did a long deep condition, oiled with argan and then air dried so hair looks very flat and thin but I am happy to not see super dark roots anymore.
It goes reddish in bright lights but brown/blond in normal lighting.

Not a dramatic change but I am glad I got over my fear and just did it. I was working myself up and I am just not ready to accept grey so had to be done.
I may have grandkids but I am not ready to prove it with my hair! :)

http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/Mobile%20Uploads/68268693-6e4e-4b8a-81d0-1e0b82e6413e_zps51980c6c.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/Mobile%20Uploads/68268693-6e4e-4b8a-81d0-1e0b82e6413e_zps51980c6c.jpg.html)

http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/Mobile%20Uploads/94f0ad1f-8af8-48be-8e4e-552c8f7a1456_zpsfb9095eb.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/Mobile%20Uploads/94f0ad1f-8af8-48be-8e4e-552c8f7a1456_zpsfb9095eb.jpg.html)

http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/Mobile%20Uploads/11308368-a970-4d4d-ac87-6469417fc9ea_zpse40e4e4e.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/Mobile%20Uploads/11308368-a970-4d4d-ac87-6469417fc9ea_zpse40e4e4e.jpg.html)

http://i1012.photobucket.com/albums/af244/coconutcraze/Mobile%20Uploads/0f87a065-b71b-4a28-bab2-252dd7825585_zps33d6ff7f.jpg (http://s1012.photobucket.com/user/coconutcraze/media/Mobile%20Uploads/0f87a065-b71b-4a28-bab2-252dd7825585_zps33d6ff7f.jpg.html)

[Jennah]

Absolutely perfect!!!!!!

Great great great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:thumbsup::bunny::magic:

[Quasiquixotic]

Looks great!

[ErinLeigh]

thanks !!!
My boyfriend will now be my new colorist. He did his sections better so I advised he was now doing it all for me every 6 weeks. HA.
I was thinking a way to prevent color overlap when doing roots could be to pull a comb down as far as I want to apply the hold it there while brushing the dye above the comb. I think we did well considering but there has to be more precise methods. If anyone has suggestions for that I would love to hear them. On youtube everyone sections but it gets messy with each new root section done.

I am kind of excited to see how it looks longer with the ombre. With my luck they will be out of style soon but I love the look of them so for me its fun thinking about.

Next up...mictotrimming my own hair next month. I have been watching videos on micrtrimming layered hair. Will need to invest in shears. Taking control of my own hair is fun yet scary. I worry about losing that "salon" look but really, my salon looks did not always end well so....

Next time I style hair I will post the finished result so the you can see how the multicolors blend. Hard to tell from crown photos.
oh by the way, the color was the ION Permanent Creme in an 8G (their colors run a shade darker so 7G tone was intended) with a 20 developer and added some protein filler to the mix. 30 would be better for lift and grey coverage but I find 30 more damaging on me. I did clarify/chelate last night, did not condition (that is a nightmare for me-I love conditioner), then added coconut oil and left on all night.
After coloring, washed with a special acidic shampoo to try and close cuticle and then deep conditioned with the Redken Extreme Builder Plus for an hour. Added some argan oil and Freya Blend Panacea afterward. Hair feels so good now.

[LauraLongLocks]

Oh my goodness! It looks great, Erin! This really softens the contrast. I'm so happy for you! You are your own best stylist... and you seem REALLY happy with the results, so I think you can safely take all hair matters into your own hands. You did a great job.

[PrincessPhoebe]

Looks really good :)

[mamaherrera]

Glad you found a solution, it can be so stressful. Poor us women!! I too, fear what i'm going to do (I henna now on my whites) but I have really dark brown hair. When it gets more white, I won't want to do henna, but rather a lighter overall color. How will I do it with all this henna?? I don't know right now. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Scared though, because I don't want to see myself with white roots either. Hope someone will help me out like everyone's been so helpful with you. But anyway,s my husband is also MY appointed, henna=ist, he does such an awesome job. I tell him joking around that even if we get divorced, our divorce papers will state that he must continue on as my henna-ist!!

[Selkie-]

Your hair looks lovely ErinLeigh -- very natural and soft. Good job!

[ExpectoPatronum]

Wow! Your hair came out great! I think your hair is going to look really nice as it continues to grow out now! Hopefully you'll have better luck with henna glosses in the future. The first one I ever did (with indigo) didn't work at all either. I'm sure you'll get it next time and will have awesome results over your new color.

Also can I just say that I'm jealous of how silky and soft your hair looks? It looks healthy too. Whatever your routine is, you're definitely doing something right!

[browneyedsusan]

Your hair came out great!

FWIW: I have a bunch of gray too, and can't stand it! It messes with my mind.

Very well done! :cheese:

[Jennah]

to prevent color overlap when doing roots could be to pull a comb down as far as I want to apply the hold it there while brushing the dye above the comb.

You know, that is actually a technique! I had a friend who had light brown hair and wanted to get highlights, so she went to the salon and got something like this: (pic (http://media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com/736x/2d/4c/13/2d4c13ce1138653a28af608ddd2220ae.jpg)). She was really upset, so she went back to another salon to fix it, and what they did is they put a little darker semi permanent color on top with a comb only, and left it for a few minutes, maybe 15 mins, and wash and the hair turned out great! And she still got the hightlights she wanted but with the perfect shade! :heart:


Next up...mictotrimming my own hair next month. I have been watching videos on micrtrimming layered hair.

I´m a huge fan of microtrimming, because it prevents the ends to become all shaggy, and the hair looks thick and healthy, but it looks the same length!

The only problem I had with that (and be careful) was that I wanted to get rid of layers at first, so instead of microtrim I did macrotrim cutting inches at a time and got stuck with shoulder hair forever. Do it in the first days for the crescent moon, it really does help. Here is an article if you want to (see (http://fashaddix.com/2013/06/cutting-your-hair-according-to-the-lunar-phase-can-help-it-grow-faster-and-healthier/))

[momschicklets]

Great job ErinLeigh! I'm right there with you about the gray....not ready to go there yet....nope. I also use Ion colors, although I use the demipermanent, and I'm always a happier, less grey, me! It really looks very natural, and I don't see one gray hair :D

[Unofficial_Rose]

It looks so pretty and subtle!

[Katrine]

Your hair turned out great! The subtle color variation makes it look natural :)

[spidermom]

Nice. I hope you're not depressed anymore.

[PraiseCheeses]

Oh my gosh, that new color looks amazing! Very well done!

Also, let me just say that from your pictures earlier on in the thread, your skin tone and youthful face is enviably beautiful. :flower:

[ErinLeigh]

Jennah thanks for the pics. I have walked out of salons with those same steaks ugh!!
Spidermom thank you. I do feel better.
Susan I picked decided on brown after your post lol. I do like that color and love ombres so its a good fit.

I really appreciate the feedback from everyone. Maybe I am feeling mushy but sometimes I think this board has the kindest, most beautiful, intelligent women on it. Everyone is just so nice, supportive, honest and understanding and its nice to have a place to check in and feel amongst a certain group of peers that you wouldn't find in the real world. Where else can you speak to beautiful smart women of all ages from all places and have such a good time and learn so much? My hair would probably look like hay without you all!

[DKSABS]

You're hair looks amazing!!!!

[browneyedsusan]

Yessss! :hifive: Sexy, exotic, brown! The color of all things good in the world: chocolate, coffee, chestnuts , and this very good boy! LOL!

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7168/13562788904_a1d62dcc08_m.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/mEuQC1)doug (https://flic.kr/p/mEuQC1) by Mom and wife (https://www.flickr.com/people/62007100@N08/), on Flickr

FWIW: It's good to know I am such a powerful influence in your decision making! :spitting: :thumbsup:

--I'm glad you made peace with your hair, have a plan, and feel good about it. It really looks terrific. :)

[ErinLeigh]

HA Susan. You just made brown sound so nice so I pulled out old photos and realized I do like that color on me so it was easy choice for sure. I am extra sold now with the list of all the lovely things brown. Gorgeous doggie BTW.

I will finally wash tomorrow so we can see how this things is gonna look on a full frontal hehe.

PraiseCheeses I love you name! Thank you so much.
DKSABS, Katrine, Unofficial_Rose , momschicklets , ExpectoPatronum - Thank you for stopping by to look at it and give me some feedback. I really appreciate it!!
I so worried I was going to show up with a patchy mess and be back whining about about it. That's my usual MO. :)

Dying at home is stressful for an impatient person like me. I tend to want to do quick slop jobs. I think it will be best to have my cautious Capricorn bf do the work. My way was a mess! I kept thinking about people stated how hard it is not to overlap and was saying "yep yep yep so true" out loud the whole time..but I think I got it matched fairly well without too much overlap. It helps my hair was multicolored so any mistakes were hidden.

I have a question for anyone who lightens hair or colors greys. What volume developer do you use?

[lapushka]

Nice! Your BF has some skills, and so do you. It came out great. Love the color, BTW!

[ErinLeigh]

Thanks so much Lapushka :) :) :) Did a little double conditioning after hehe

[lapushka]

Thanks so much Lapushka :) :) :) Did a little double conditioning after hehe

Great, anything to really pamper the hair. :D :thumbsup: