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blue_eyes
May 11th, 2014, 02:44 PM
So first a bit about how I got myself into this situation: I started dyeing my hair red when I was 14, it was a bob at the time. I got bored of it when I was about 16 and began to grow out my hair. I got sick of the upkeep of the red dye, since it faded so quickly, and impulsively dyed it black. I continued dyeing it black for the next few years and then decided I wanted to be blonde. As you can probably guess, bleaching years of black dye turned it into a patchy mess or orange, yellow, and brown. I was told I would have to wait 8 weeks before I could do the process again. "No way will I sport this mess in public!" I said, and promptly dyed my hair black again to hide the disaster. I didn't learn my lesson, I made the attempt to go from black to blonde another 3 or 4 times over the next 4 years. Every single time it looked awful, and I'd dye it black again. By some miracle my hair had grown to waist length.

So, last August I decided I wanted to be blonde (again :brickwall) and went off to the salon. The stylist bleached my hair and my hair decided it had had enough. It broke, in chunks, some of them as short as 3 inches long, the majority of my hair broke to around shoulder and collar bone length, and the longest fragments were still waist length. Needless to say the ends were extremely thin, and you could see the broken, choppy bulk of my hair through it. The stylist had no choice but to cut the rest of my remaining WL hair, but she knew I was trying to grow my hair long, so she cut the WL pieces to APL. They were still a good 4 inches shorter than all my broken hair, but they sort of masked the mess and kept me feeling like I had "long-ish" hair. My hair was also neon orange (with the obligatory brown & yellow patches), so I did what I always so (dyed it black), and haven't touched it with chemicals since.

My problem is that my hair looks extremely unkempt. It has grown about 5 inches since then, but the longest pieces are still very stringy/thin looking and about 4 inches longer than the bulk of my hair (which is about APL now). It seems like every section of hair is a different length, and the ends are dry & damaged. The overall cut of my hair looks like it got caught in a fan. I haven't cut or trimmed it since "the disaster"; I had sideswept bangs then which are now past chin length, and they look very choppy. My hair is very fine/thin and naturally extremely straight, which makes all the choppy, thin, unevenness extremely noticeable. Between my dye growing out/the demarcation line and the horrible-looking, ragged thin ends, my hair looks awful and I feel terrible about it. :(

My longest ends are reaching BSL now, which I'm happy about because I feel like I've gained a good deal of length back. However, it still looks like an awful, ragged, choppy, thin, unkempt mess. It will take another 8 months for the bulk of my hair (which is at APL) to reach BSL. What I want opinions about is whether I should:
A) Just suck it up for the rest of the year until the bulk of my hair gets to BSL, and then cut off the long thin ends.
B) Cut off the long, thin ends now, and deal with having mostly APL hair for the rest of the year, since it will still be BSL by the end of December.

I really don't like the idea of cutting it and losing that feeling of length. I can't stand the idea of being at APL again. At least with the long thin pieces I can feel like my hair is at BSL :P I also have never tried micro-trimming or trimming my hair at all, and the thought makes me a little nervous (not that my haircut could get much worse). I really don't want to lose length, but I'm sick of feeling awful & self-conscious about my hair all the time. I don't know how I've made it through the past 9 months with my hair this way, but knowing that I have, I wonder if it would be best to try and make it through the rest of this year before cutting it. Anyway, what do you think I should do? Any other suggestions are welcome as well. Thanks in advance. :)

elsieivy
May 11th, 2014, 03:14 PM
Do you think microtrimming would improve the ends? Sometimes just a quarter of an inch or half an inch can increase the thickness a lot. Good luck

tigereye
May 11th, 2014, 03:24 PM
What about maintaining at BSL? Micro trim the ends frequently to keep them fresh whilst giving the rest time to grow down. It'll take a whole but your hair will slowly look better as the rest catches up, without losing a whole lot of length in one go.

florenonite
May 11th, 2014, 03:46 PM
Do you wear your hair up much? If you learn some pretty updos you can put it up and the ends might not bother you so much, as they won't be noticeable all the time.

beaniebaby
May 11th, 2014, 04:29 PM
I think the best thing you can do right now is to try and restore you hair's health, or whatever you can. Deep condition every week, get enough vitamins and water, S&D, stay AWAY from chemicals and heat, and eat a lot of proteins. It's not proven, but I've been taking vitamin B supplements and it's helped my hair grow faster. It supposedly also prevents hair loss, so if you want to stay on the safe side, I suggest you take it! Make sure to treat you hair nicely, like maybe get a silk sleeping pillow and use sulfate-free shampoo (if you don't already use those). I hope this helps you : /

Lyv
May 11th, 2014, 11:12 PM
I think microtrimming and maintaining at BSL for a while will be pretty popular suggestions but because I am really impatient and am unwilling to have hair I don't enjoy I would cut off the damaged longer pieces if I were in your situation. Eventually it will have to be trimmed anyway because you can't reverse damage you can only mask it so that's what I would do. If you don't want to part with the length then microtrimming is probably the way to go and doing deep treatments (SMT is my favorite), a healthy diet, lots of water, and wearing it up in a protective style are a few things that might help.

Tall Blond(ish)
May 11th, 2014, 11:17 PM
The damage is going to have to go at some point, and it's only causing anxiety now. As hard as it can be to sacrifice length, I would rather just take off the damage and focus on growing healthy, happy hair. Why hold on to hair that just makes you sad and wastes time, energy, and effort but will never get better?

restless
May 12th, 2014, 12:00 AM
Oh, I know everything about thin, sad-looking ends and the unwillingness to part with them :p I started this hair journey with very damaged shoulder length hair and have been microtrimming ever since. Slowly but surely has it improved the look and the quality of my hair, as the virgin hair has gotten longer and the damaged part shorter. Throughout the years Ive been microtrimming away a centimeter every now and then (usally about once every third month or so). Meanwhile Ive tried to preserve the damaged hair the best I could/can and coconut oil has done wonders for how it feels, so I can highly recommend trying that if you havent already.

So yes, in short to answer the question in the title: Id microtrim if I was you, as you seem very attached to the length youve got.

tigereye
May 12th, 2014, 12:26 AM
I think the best thing you can do right now is to try and restore you hair's health, or whatever you can. Deep condition every week, get enough vitamins and water, S&D, stay AWAY from chemicals and heat, and eat a lot of proteins. It's not proven, but I've been taking vitamin B supplements and it's helped my hair grow faster. It supposedly also prevents hair loss, so if you want to stay on the safe side, I suggest you take it! Make sure to treat you hair nicely, like maybe get a silk sleeping pillow and use sulfate-free shampoo (if you don't already use those). I hope this helps you : /

Everything are chemicals, whether natural or not. Your own sebum is made up of chemicals. Some people also find their hair does a lot better with sulphates - it's personal preference and something to try, but there's no need to give them up if she doesn't want to as long as she is moisturising enough. Vitamins are also of absolutely no use to people who aren't deficient, and any number of deficiencies can cause hair to grow slower, not just the B-vits.
It's hard to overdose on vitamins with a healthy diet. A healthy diet and plenty water is more like to help growth

maybeinthemtns
May 12th, 2014, 12:33 AM
Personally, I would chop the damaged parts off. They will have to go anyway, eventually. I always hate trimming but am amazed by how much healthier my hair looks after I do it. I cut about two inches off at a time, I am growing out a beloved-but-not-a-good-idea-at-all wave perm that I got about two years ago. And it always looks better when I do. I hate losing the length but I tell myself it will have come back, and I will have to cut it eventually no matter what.

I think you should do what you is best for you, though. Are you a Just-Rip-The-Bandaid off person, or a Gently-Loosen-The-Bandaid type person?

Ingrid
May 12th, 2014, 12:39 AM
I'd keep the damaged parts for now, so that you can wear updos to protect your hair as it grows out, and micro-trim every month.

Tigereye, I think what beaniebaby was trying to suggest that shampoos with sulfates may be too harsh for some people's hair, particularly when the hair is already damaged. So trying a more mild shampoo may or may not help minimise the damage to weakened hair. :shrug:

MungoMania
May 12th, 2014, 12:40 AM
Do you wear your hair up much? If you learn some pretty updos you can put it up and the ends might not bother you so much, as they won't be noticeable all the time.

This is my suggestion too. I had a similar problem with uneven lengths and hair loss in spots so I wore my hair bunned up for a couple of years. It hides the problems.

Johannah
May 12th, 2014, 12:51 AM
Personally, I'd cut to APL length to get rid of the damage, so you can fully concentrate on growing healthy long hair with a 'fresh start'. If you really don't want to cut it, micro trimming is an option.

When I had highlights, my ends were very damaged and thin as well. Protein treatments were magic for me at that time. It made it more manageable and thicker. For some people it works, for others it doesn't, but maybe it's worth a try as well.

Quasiquixotic
May 12th, 2014, 12:51 AM
I would wear it up all the time for the next year. Deep condition with protein, if that's what your hair likes. It can help with the bleach damage. Otherwise baby your hair. No heat. Don't brush it wet. Sleep with it protected. Micro trim or trim as you see fit or if your ends are Velcro-y. But I'm voting for option 3: benign neglect. Buy yourself something pretty for you hair as a treat to help you put it up for the next 12 months. And next May you can chop off 6 inches of damage :joy:

ErinLeigh
May 12th, 2014, 12:51 AM
It really depends on your personality type. If you are going to wear it up all the time anyway you could keep growing until you hit a certain milestone, or maintain at BSL a while and let the choppy pieces catch up. If the hair is really giving you the blues though, and effected you feelings..I would cut it to a point it looks and feels good again.

It really comes down to whats most important to you. For me I always go with what looks its best now, even if that means going shorter..but for others it could be putting it up and forgetting it until it is long enough you are finally willing to part with some of the damaged pieces.

One good thing about cutting would be less dyed hair to deal with..and a better ratio virgin/dye to contend with. APL may be shorter but it would be a real fresh start feeling to have hair almost one length again. It is a beautiful length and you can still do a lot with it. Plus you may feel good about appearance of hair.

Good luck with the decision. I can tell this one is very hard for you and I feel for you.

Rosa Harris
May 12th, 2014, 02:15 AM
If it was me I would cut back to my healthiest hair and let it grow natural as possible even if that ended me up with a two tone looking thing - done that before actually - cut a bleached blond mess off to two inches and grew out a fluff with cure two inch ends all over. I'm comfortable with crazy dramatic changes - was one of the original punks - so that's just a thing. It looked unique. But I can love mine really short, long or in between.

Another approach I might take to choppy hair is just rock it - roll it at night or braid it to give it texture and flop it up in hunks here and there and put it out - even pin in some pink, blue or purple clip ins. I had that going on when I self chopped out dreadlock extensions onetime.

here is some people rockin some chunkies

I've found that creative messin and gommin can lead to people lovin my hair when its really a disaster - and even trying to copy it

http://www.becomegorgeous.com/hair/stylish_haircuts/long_punk_hairstyles_and_haircuts-1352.html

Marika
May 12th, 2014, 03:59 AM
I would cut back to APL because it doesn't take long to grow to BSL if your hair is healthy and you take good care of it. If your hair was a lot longer than BSL, I would probably try microtrimming first in order to save some of the length.

I've been there! :flower: I went from black to blonde in one day using home bleach shudder:

Federica
May 12th, 2014, 04:20 AM
I totally understand you, because I made the exactly same mistake in the past years.
I've been trying 3-4 times to bleach my black-dyed hair, and this totally destroyed it. I was in your same situation.
You have two ways to fix this:

- you chop the whole damage in one single cut, and start over
- you baby your hair, put it up everytime in a protective style, make some keratin deep treatment and mictrotrim the ends until your virgin hair has reached the bottom.

I personally chosen the second option, because I did'n want to feel my hair shorter than BSL, but it took several years of frustration (five, in my case, to go from a bsl layered bleach disaster to a waist-hip healthy and almost-blunt hemline).
I think that it would be a lot easier to start over from the beginning, and maybe it would have taken less time, but I just can't manage to see myself with shorter hair than bsl (I had classic + lenght for the most of my life).

ladyfey
May 12th, 2014, 04:25 AM
I would chop it myself. I did years ago, went from knee to a bob in order to get rid of dye/damage and get back to just my natural color. When I got it cut, it was just warming up for Summer here and I figured that I would enjoy that about the short hair anyway :) and I did!

MINAKO
May 12th, 2014, 04:37 AM
The damage is going to have to go at some point, and it's only causing anxiety now. As hard as it can be to sacrifice length, I would rather just take off the damage and focus on growing healthy, happy hair. Why hold on to hair that just makes you sad and wastes time, energy, and effort but will never get better?

seconding this. i had damaged hair previously due to a straightening treatment and chopping to the point where my hair felt completely healthy was something i did never regretted. I went from hip to shoulder and stayed there for about a year before i even started growing again. I think this overwhelming fear of loosing length/short hair can be very irrational sometimes. It can look great. The problem is that probaly all of us are estimating the maximum amount of hair we can potentially grow and start to feel like this is the only thing that loos beautiful or would be satisfying. Well, it's not, just one way to wear it out of many.

Crystawni
May 12th, 2014, 05:47 AM
<snip>

My longest ends are reaching BSL now, which I'm happy about because I feel like I've gained a good deal of length back. However, it still looks like an awful, ragged, choppy, thin, unkempt mess. It will take another 8 months for the bulk of my hair (which is at APL) to reach BSL. What I want opinions about is whether I should:
A) Just suck it up for the rest of the year until the bulk of my hair gets to BSL, and then cut off the long thin ends.
B) Cut off the long, thin ends now, and deal with having mostly APL hair for the rest of the year, since it will still be BSL by the end of December.

I really don't like the idea of cutting it and losing that feeling of length. I can't stand the idea of being at APL again. At least with the long thin pieces I can feel like my hair is at BSL :P I also have never tried micro-trimming or trimming my hair at all, and the thought makes me a little nervous (not that my haircut could get much worse). I really don't want to lose length, but I'm sick of feeling awful & self-conscious about my hair all the time. I don't know how I've made it through the past 9 months with my hair this way, but knowing that I have, I wonder if it would be best to try and make it through the rest of this year before cutting it. Anyway, what do you think I should do? Any other suggestions are welcome as well. Thanks in advance. :)

I get the feeling your answer is in your first post. If you want to feel better--without having to hide or maintain something you're not happy with--you may have to cut back the long, thin ends. Anything else may leave you just as restless as now, with no real enjoyment of your hair.

butter52
May 12th, 2014, 06:37 AM
I think its a very personal and subjective choice, I would rather have a healthy pixie I can show off than a long burned and patched mess I have to hide, but again, thats just up to you and its not going to change how fast it grows.

Run away from the salons and the dye!!:run:
:grouphug:

mary*rose
May 12th, 2014, 07:26 AM
I second the updos option. If you can learn how to do those and don't mind having your hair up all the time (as you won't really be showing the length), your damaged ends won't be noticeable.

I also really like Rosa's suggestion, of just rocking it. But it doesn't sound like that would be something you'd enjoy.

I wouldn't cut it, though. I would baby it until you have the healthy hair you want.

Kherome
May 12th, 2014, 07:33 AM
Option B I guess, though if it were me I'd cut it to chin or ear or whatever it took to get back to virgin (or at least minimally damaged) hair as possible and then step away from the hair dye! If you want black then use Manic Panic or Indigo instead of chemicals. No more bleach!

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 08:55 AM
Wow, thank you for all the suggestions & support! :)

I think I've been doing a good job of babying my hair since joining LHC after the disaster last August, and it feels far better than it did then. I've been using coconut oil weekly, staying away from heat, I don't brush it (I just comb it with a wide tooth comb), I use sulfates on and off (but mostly because I'm trying to use up my shampoo stash), and I've been experimenting with/without cones. My poor little ends seem to love them though, so I use them more often than not. I've also been S&Ding regularly and don't have nearly as many split ends showing up as I used to. The one thing I don't do is wear my hair up if I'm out of the house, I just hate the way I look. I may try and give it a shot though since summer is nearly here. I wish I liked the updo look on myself more, I feel like it'd solve all my problems. Not only would it hide the ends, but it hides the dye growing out as well. :P

I think I may try micro-trimming a bit & see how that goes. If I still think it looks awful I can always chop it after that. Realistically I should probably just cut to shoulder length, but there is no way I could bring myself to do that. It's just so frustrating to know that 7 years ago was the last time at APL and all these years later I'll be back where I started :brickwall I'm so mad at myself.

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 09:01 AM
I went from black to blonde in one day using home bleach shudder:


I totally understand you, because I made the exactly same mistake in the past years.
I've been trying 3-4 times to bleach my black-dyed hair, and this totally destroyed it. I was in your same situation.

It's good to know I'm not the only one! I would love to hear your stories :P

lapushka
May 12th, 2014, 09:05 AM
My longest ends are reaching BSL now, which I'm happy about because I feel like I've gained a good deal of length back. However, it still looks like an awful, ragged, choppy, thin, unkempt mess. It will take another 8 months for the bulk of my hair (which is at APL) to reach BSL. What I want opinions about is whether I should:
A) Just suck it up for the rest of the year until the bulk of my hair gets to BSL, and then cut off the long thin ends.
B) Cut off the long, thin ends now, and deal with having mostly APL hair for the rest of the year, since it will still be BSL by the end of December.

I really don't like the idea of cutting it and losing that feeling of length. I can't stand the idea of being at APL again. At least with the long thin pieces I can feel like my hair is at BSL :P I also have never tried micro-trimming or trimming my hair at all, and the thought makes me a little nervous (not that my haircut could get much worse). I really don't want to lose length, but I'm sick of feeling awful & self-conscious about my hair all the time. I don't know how I've made it through the past 9 months with my hair this way, but knowing that I have, I wonder if it would be best to try and make it through the rest of this year before cutting it. Anyway, what do you think I should do? Any other suggestions are welcome as well. Thanks in advance. :)

Microtrimming really is the best solution if you don't want to lose the length, and it seems like you don't. Take a look at Feye's self-trimming method for a great method on how to trim.

It will take a long time for your hair to be healthy again. At least, stop processing it with dye and bleach. You have a lot of months of virgin growth right now. Treat it nicely!

Isilme
May 12th, 2014, 09:21 AM
I think you need to figure out what you want. Do you want to go back to black, go natural or be blonde? When you have decided on colour, dye and stick to the roots! Then you can decide if it is to be a cut or to grow. If you want to go black, look into henna and indigo. If your natural hair colour is calling, well, just keep on growing! Do you want to go blonde? Go to a stylist and listen to them, maybe you could do highlights? Again, stick to the roots when the desired colour is achieved.
To me it seems you ended up with damaged hair because you couldn't decide on a colour.

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 09:55 AM
I think you need to figure out what you want. Do you want to go back to black, go natural or be blonde? When you have decided on colour, dye and stick to the roots! Then you can decide if it is to be a cut or to grow. If you want to go black, look into henna and indigo. If your natural hair colour is calling, well, just keep on growing! Do you want to go blonde? Go to a stylist and listen to them, maybe you could do highlights? Again, stick to the roots when the desired colour is achieved.
To me it seems you ended up with damaged hair because you couldn't decide on a colour.

You are 1000000% right, I need to pick a color and stick with it. I'm pretty sure I don't want dark hair anymore, people have told me that it makes me look older, plus I have very fair skin and dark hair makes me look even paler (so I'm told), but I am still torn between blonde and my natural color. I had initially planned to grow out all the dark dye and then lighten my healthy virgin hair to blonde, but the more I learn about bleach damage the more I wonder if I'd be better off just keeping my natural color. I haven't decided yet, and it will take a long time for my virgin hair to grow out anyway, so I still have time to think about it.

I had tried the highlighting route to blonde once before, when I was trying to go from brown/black to blonde, and I've considered doing it now. My only concern is that I don't know how much more processing the ends of my hair can take (I don't want to end up with shoulder length hair or shorter), and that there will be an issue because I've got 5 inches of roots. I recall during one of my color correction attempts at the salon, the stylist was annoyed that I had an inch of roots and said she'd have to dye them dark first, to match the length, before lightening the color of my hair all over. I have no idea if that's true or not, but if it is would I have to do that when getting highlights? :S

florenonite
May 12th, 2014, 10:03 AM
You are 1000000% right, I need to pick a color and stick with it. I'm pretty sure I don't want dark hair anymore, people have told me that it makes me look older, plus I have very fair skin and dark hair makes me look even paler (so I'm told), but I am still torn between blonde and my natural color. I had initially planned to grow out all the dark dye and then lighten my healthy virgin hair to blonde, but the more I learn about bleach damage the more I wonder if I'd be better off just keeping my natural color. I haven't decided yet, and it will take a long time for my virgin hair to grow out anyway, so I still have time to think about it.

I had tried the highlighting route to blonde once before, when I was trying to go from brown/black to blonde, and I've considered doing it now. My only concern is that I don't know how much more processing the ends of my hair can take (I don't want to end up with shoulder length hair or shorter), and that there will be an issue because I've got 5 inches of roots. I recall during one of my color correction attempts at the salon, the stylist was annoyed that I had an inch of roots and said she'd have to dye them dark first, to match the length, before lightening the color of my hair all over. I have no idea if that's true or not, but if it is would I have to do that when getting highlights? :S

Why don't you dye it all to your natural colour, and just leave it at that until you've grown out the dye? If you want to highlight on healthy, virgin hair later, then you can consider that when the time comes. That's probably the least damaging option.

Federica
May 12th, 2014, 10:12 AM
I would love to hear your stories :P

I always wanted princess extremely long hair since I was a little child. I started to grow it out when I was about 11 (my mom kept chopping it at chin until then, because I'm a wavy/curly and she didn't manage to take care of it for me), and started to chemical-dye it black when I was 14. My hair was at tail bone at that point, and didn't seem to be bothered from the dye for many, many years. BUT I always wanted also ginger hair, so one day I decided to bleach it and try to go red.
First disaster: there was a mess of reddish/orange/yellow strands and big dark brown/black patches. I covered it black. And repeated the same dumb process the year after with the same dumb results, but on almost classic lenght, so I had to cut it to hip.
But it wasnt enough. A couple of months later I met a girl who is a hairdresser, I tell her the story and she offers to make the bleaching again, swearing she can make me go red.
And she did.
But my hair started to break all over in chunks from the top to the bottom, it was completely and totally burned, with extremely thin ends that was breaking a lot faster than it grew. I had to trim and trim and trim to bsl, and stand there for 3 years trimming a bit of damage every month, SDing and complaining.
It's five years now, and I'm back to hip, henna has made a huge difference in my routine, and I've just a couple of cm left of chemicals to trim :)
But I take hair things a bit seriously, and I wouldn't recommand you to obsess about lenght as I do, because it's just adding stress to an already necessarily long process.
If the damage is what bothers you the most, concentrate yourself on it, in what you gain cutting a bit and not in what you lose in terms of lenght.

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 10:30 AM
Why don't you dye it all to your natural colour, and just leave it at that until you've grown out the dye? If you want to highlight on healthy, virgin hair later, then you can consider that when the time comes. That's probably the least damaging option.

I would love to do this but my natural hair is a dark blonde/light brown/blonette kind of color, and much lighter than the dark dye on the ends. I think I'd have to bleach it again in order to be able to dye it close to my natural color. When I've bleached it in the past I was still left with some very dark patches of dye, and I'm worried that'd happen again, in which case a dye close to my natural color wouldn't mask it. I'm also afraid it'll break more if I bleach it again, and I don't want to involuntarily end up with a bob.


I always wanted princess extremely long hair since I was a little child. I started to grow it out when I was about 11 (my mom kept chopping it at chin until then, because I'm a wavy/curly and she didn't manage to take care of it for me), and started to chemical-dye it black when I was 14. My hair was at tail bone at that point, and didn't seem to be bothered from the dye for many, many years. BUT I always wanted also ginger hair, so one day I decided to bleach it and try to go red.
First disaster: there was a mess of reddish/orange/yellow strands and big dark brown/black patches. I covered it black. And repeated the same dumb process the year after with the same dumb results, but on almost classic lenght, so I had to cut it to hip.
But it wasnt enough. A couple of months later I met a girl who is a hairdresser, I tell her the story and she offers to make the bleaching again, swearing she can make me go red.
And she did.
But my hair started to break all over in chunks from the top to the bottom, it was completely and totally burned, with extremely thin ends that was breaking a lot faster than it grew. I had to trim and trim and trim to bsl, and stand there for 3 years trimming a bit of damage every month, SDing and complaining.
It's five years now, and I'm back to hip, henna has made a huge difference in my routine, and I've just a couple of cm left of chemicals to trim :)
But I take hair things a bit seriously, and I wouldn't recommand you to obsess about lenght as I do, because it's just adding stress to an already necessarily long process.
If the damage is what bothers you the most, concentrate yourself on it, in what you gain cutting a bit and not in what you lose in terms of lenght.

I'm glad your hair has almost completely recovered! What an ordeal. It's pretty horrifying to see your hair looking orange & yellow with black & brown patches. I don't know why we end up repeating the same process thinking it'll turn out different a second (or 3rd, or 4th) time.

I'll try to take your advice and not stress too much about the length. I know, logically speaking, that it does & will grow back, especially if I am taking such good care of it. I don't know why it can be so difficult, psychologically, to part with it.

florenonite
May 12th, 2014, 10:36 AM
I would love to do this but my natural hair is a dark blonde/light brown/blonette kind of color, and much lighter than the dark dye on the ends. I think I'd have to bleach it again in order to be able to dye it close to my natural color. When I've bleached it in the past I was still left with some very dark patches of dye, and I'm worried that'd happen again, in which case a dye close to my natural color wouldn't mask it. I'm also afraid it'll break more if I bleach it again, and I don't want to involuntarily end up with a bob.


Have you tried/considered something like Color Oops? I don't know how well that'd work with multiple layers of dark dye, but it might help lighten it enough that you could do a deposit-only dye in a blonette shade that's close to your natural colour.

queenovnight
May 12th, 2014, 10:59 AM
Eh, I personally would get a big chop. Damage like that.. Yickes. I've had it and just the thought makes me feel bad for you! - Also, when growing out chemically damaged hair, it can seem like it takes forever to grow, when it's really just breaking off.

But I agree with Isilme as well.

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 11:55 AM
Have you tried/considered something like Color Oops? I don't know how well that'd work with multiple layers of dark dye, but it might help lighten it enough that you could do a deposit-only dye in a blonette shade that's close to your natural colour.

I tried Color Oops years ago on layers of black dye and didn't have much like with it, I never tried it again. As I recall it came out very uneven and patchy. I'm also really nervous about experimenting, but I'll look into it and see if I can find any other people who've done this and had success. :)


Eh, I personally would get a big chop. Damage like that.. Yickes. I've had it and just the thought makes me feel bad for you! - Also, when growing out chemically damaged hair, it can seem like it takes forever to grow, when it's really just breaking off.

But I agree with Isilme as well.

I agree with Isilme too. As soon as I finished saying that I was not going to dye my hair dark again I begun considering dyeing it dark brown (just not black) :brickwall I've got a bit of a BDD issue (definitely not nearly as bad as it could be though) and my hair gets the worst of it. I keep thinking "if I have (insert hair color here) life will be perfect!". When times are rough I take it out on my hair, feeling like if I change the color things will suddenly be okay. I know it's totally illogical, but that's just the way it felt. When I was doing all these things to my hair I didn't even know BDD existed, but now that I know I've started to try and take a step back and tell myself that it really does not matter what color my hair is, it won't solve my problems. If anything it's only made things worse because it's ruined my hair, haha. I hope that I can just pick something and stick with it. Until I definitely decide on something I won't be taking any dye/bleach to it.

ErinLeigh
May 12th, 2014, 12:27 PM
If you wear hair down when in public I would consider cutting then.
APL to BSL isn't that big a difference and you could actually feel good about hair if it were more even. A cut on damaged hair makes such a difference I can't even explain. Its night and day.

We tend to be very hard on ourselves. The visual image I have is a few strings of hair hanging down to BSL and the bulk at APL. Is it really that " bad " or is that just how you feel? If its that bad letting those go for a gorgeous cut and style you can rock woukd be worth it. If it's just a few strands then visually it already looks APL anyway.

Now if you are being hard on yourself and its not as bad it sounds then microtrimming will help so much. Damaged hair is hard to grow long mentally sometimes without trims. Its splits and breaks and appears to grow slower. Clean ends just seem to get there so much easier and with a lot less stress. YMMV of course.

For what its worth, I think you natural color is gorgeous :)

lapushka
May 12th, 2014, 12:32 PM
It would be a lot easier to bleach your natural hair to blonde than black dye, so I'm voting on growing that out entirely. Black dye is *hard* to get out with bleach especially (it will turn a brassy orange color on first application of bleach, that's why you need to listen to the stylist to stick with the treatment to get it to the blonde you want). Decide something. The previous poster who touched on the subject is absolutely right. You *are* indecisive on color and that is going to kill you (rather: your hair) if you don't stick to something.

spidermom
May 12th, 2014, 01:25 PM
It's totally up to you. What suits you best?

Me - I'd get a cut to APL, even shoulder length. I can tolerate patchy color, but I need a good cut to enjoy my hair. If my hair is not in good condition, I feel like I'm fighting with it all the time, and I hate that.

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 02:45 PM
I think because I am so indecisive I'm just going to let my natural color grow out & stop worrying about bleach/dye for a while. The stress of all the bleaching/dyeing disasters over the years, combined with the damage I have now, has made me sick of even thinking about it. Ugh, good riddance. Maybe I'll revisit the idea in 2 or 3 years. At least then I can have a fresh start with healthy hair.



If you wear hair down when in public I would consider cutting then.
APL to BSL isn't that big a difference and you could actually feel good about hair if it were more even. A cut on damaged hair makes such a difference I can't even explain. Its night and day.

We tend to be very hard on ourselves. The visual image I have is a few strings of hair hanging down to BSL and the bulk at APL. Is it really that " bad " or is that just how you feel? If its that bad letting those go for a gorgeous cut and style you can rock would be worth it. If it's just a few strands then visually it already looks APL anyway.

Now if you are being hard on yourself and its not as bad it sounds then microtrimming will help so much. Damaged hair is hard to grow long mentally sometimes without trims. Its splits and breaks and appears to grow slower. Clean ends just seem to get there so much easier and with a lot less stress. YMMV of course.

For what its worth, I think you natural color is gorgeous :)

Thank you ErinLeigh :) that means a lot to me. I've been trying to embrace my natural color. It makes me feel great knowing that other people find it pretty!

I probably am being a little hard on myself, the stylist did a fairly good job of trying to blend the shorter and longer hairs. When it's dry & straight the ends look thin and sparse, rather than a couple of long clumped sections just hanging down (if that makes sense). I'm sure I notice it far more than anyone else, either that or everyone I know is too polite to say anything. Maybe it doesn't look like it was caught/cut by a fan, but I do think it looks fairly unkempt. It almost reminds me of "scene hair", like the girl in this (http://www.olshopper.com/profesional-hair-beauty-salon-design/scene-hair-9/) picture, except without the bangs (or intentional style).

ErinLeigh
May 12th, 2014, 03:25 PM
I am so glad scene hair caught on after I was too old for it because I know I would have ended up with it :)
I think I get the visual though on you. A less dramatic version (not by choice of course) but feels like the real deal.

I just remember seeing your hair in the "no dye" thread and it looked nice. I think you are being hard on yourself but at same time a trim would help to start letting go of that dyed hair so you can really start seeing your new hair color better and coming to terms with its beauty. You don't have to rush anything. Time is on your side. It's going to keep growing ..and when you are ready, you will make the right decision for you.

I had to part with a lot of hair this year. I had mixed feelings about returning to the shorter length after finally growing. Its tough for sure and sometimes waiting gives you time to figure out what is actually fried and what is worth saving. Had I waited to decide I could have spared some inches. You have been dealing with hair a while though so I can see why your at a stage of wondering. It was good you gave hair a chance to settle and grow first. Your patience is admirable. Just remember though, life if too short to be unhappy now. Find the balance of what you can live with to be happy . The journey can be as fun as the destination you know? No matter which way you choose to go about it, you will get there.

blue_eyes
May 12th, 2014, 06:30 PM
I ended up doing the tiniest little micro-trim today, it was my first time trying feye's method so I was probably a little extra cautious. Anyway it went well from what I can tell, I only did the longest ends and they definitely look a little tidier. My grown out bangs were a mess, so I trimmed them and now they're long but side swept. That alone made me feel a bit better. I think I'll keep self-trimming for a bit and see how it goes. Hopefully the short pieces catch up quickly.

Thanks for your kind words & support ErinLeigh :) I totally agree that life is too short & that it's important to be happy now as well as in the future. I don't want to be "living for tomorrow". I think that's one of the reasons I feel like I need to do something. I've been stressed about my hair for 10 months now, and my goal is 3 years away. That's a long time to be unhappy with my appearance, I'm trying to think of something I could do to make it look prettier as it grows out. But like you said, I've got all the time in the world to think about it...my hair will keep growing :)
I actually remember looking at your post after you got your hair cut, it looked very pretty (even though as I recall, I think one of the layers wasn't quite right and you had to have it redone?). I admire the fact that you were able to cut it. Are you still growing out dye?