PDA

View Full Version : How do you deal with all your hair being tangled?



Eisa
May 5th, 2014, 04:15 PM
When it has been for months? ^^;

Last year, I had a really bad depressive period and I just couldn't make myself comb my hair. I'd braid it, and that helped for a while, I think, honestly. But of course, sleeping/life took its toll and er...well, to make a long story short, pretty much all my hair is matted/tangled up. I've been trying off and on to de-tangle, which I think has helped make it so it's not just giant ball of no? And the ends aren't really tangled up, it's the middle, pretty much across my head, and then the top is kinda tangled, too.

I really don't want to cut it, because if I actually tried to cut off the tangles or something, I'd be shaving my head! And that would make me feel terrible. And I know some of the ways that I can try to attempt de-tangling and getting it okay with minimal cutting, but...I don't know how to make myself face up to it and do it, because it seems like a hopelessly daunting task. :( But I can't take the tangles anymore, especially when I also have seborrheic dermatitis, and it makes my head itch horribly.

And it's really embarrassing admitting any of this, but um...help? :(

meteor
May 5th, 2014, 04:20 PM
DON'T CUT IT!
Just get an appointment with a good hairdresser. It might take a few hours and multiple sessions, but that's OK. If you don't believe me that it can be done, go to YouTube to see how even giant dreadlocks can get detangled with a lot of work and a ton of conditioner.

Kina
May 5th, 2014, 04:24 PM
my sister used to have issues with this. the answer was that my older sister and I would comb her hair for her. do you have anyone you can ask to do this who knows how to de-tangle hair>

if not, I would fix myself a hot bath, candles and music, maybe a bottle of wine. a mermaid soak, dump a bottle of conditioner (or a proportionate amount) onto my head, a good wide toothed comb and start from the bottom up. I'd refresh the water as it cooled, depending on how long it took me, but I wouldn't get out until done.

I *love* baths, so that would work for me. If not your thing, what about promising yourself something you really want, maybe for your hair? but only following through until you've de-tangled it?

mariakatija
May 5th, 2014, 04:25 PM
Yes, do not cut it! I have depression too and go for days without combing. I once had surgery and it was really bad... Anyway! Use a wide tooth comb and start combing your hair from the bottom and as you go higher, go back down to comb out the knots. Wash and condition it like crazy before you do this as it will help. It will detangle! It might take hours, but it's possible! Afterwards, you can always get a little trim or do a heavy S&D session. Good luck! Also you could try a detangling spray!

Nadine <3
May 5th, 2014, 04:26 PM
I would soak it in a really slippery cone filled conditioner. I always thought the tresseme conditioners where great...soak it in that and try comping it out in the shower with TONS of conditioner on it.

Eisa
May 5th, 2014, 04:30 PM
Oh wow, I was not expecting this many replies so quickly. :o Thank you guys.

@Nadine do you know if tresseme conditioners have aloe in them? Because that's the problem I kept running into a while ago, trying to find a leave-in conditioner or de-tangling stuff to help, it all seemed to have aloe in it, and I'm allergic.

darklyndsea
May 5th, 2014, 04:50 PM
Back in middle school I basically did not brush my hair ever (and all I had was a BBB, so it didn't work too well when I tried, either). If you go to GreatClips or something, the stylists will cry a lot on the inside but they'll comb it out for you (leave a giant tip if you do this), which is great on the getting it done with little effort front if you're still struggling. They won't be gentle, though.

If you want to do it yourself, the most important thing to do is damage control. Keep the tangle-free sections separated from the tangled sections, and preferably braided so that they won't be able to tangle again. Second, the tangles themselves. I untangled my hair without any products, but something with slip might help you. I found it helpful to attack each tangle (or rather, giant matted section) from as many sides as possible. Don't get discouraged if all you do for a while is loosen the tangles--that's an important intermediate step. Loosen, shift your hands a little, try to get those strands free. Chances are the ones you just grabbed had been held tightly by the now-loosened strands and you'll be able to get them free. If the tangles get tighter when you pull in one area, switch to a different area. Doing something to take up some of your attention while you're untangling (movies? Talking to someone?) might help keep you from getting too discouraged.

Anje
May 5th, 2014, 05:03 PM
If you've got an aloe allergy, you'll definitely want to read ingredients lists on products, but there are definitely conditioners out there without it. Personally, for serious detangling, I'd look for something that's got at least some silicones (dimethicone, for example) in it for more slipperiness. (I've actually particularly heard of people swearing by a horse product called Cowboy Magic (http://www.cowboymagic.com/cowboy-magic-detangler/) for heavy-duty detangling. It's not that different from a silicone serum product. That said, me and the silk it lists in the ingredients don't get along. :D) Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner is nice, and has behentrimonium -- one of my personal favorite slippery ingredients.

Slather your hair in your conditioner of choice, work slow, start at the tips and do a section at a time. Get it damp if it starts to dry and get sticky. Don't get frustrated. People have combed out dreadlocks, so you can certainly do this, even if it takes a few days. A good friend and a movie might be a big help, if you can find someone to ask.


In the future, wearing your hair bunned or braided most of the time will definitely help cut down on tangles. It's a good idea to make a habit of detangling your hair at least weekly, though I imagine you're fully aware of that. Best wishes dealing with the depression end of things -- I know how hard that is. Take good care of yourself and be good to yourself mentally. These things happen, and that's OK. You can fix it.

Edited to add: You'll find that a lot of people around here actually like to use oils as leave-in conditioners. Just straight-up food oils like olive and coconut are quite popular. They'll also work pretty well for helping to unknot your hair (not as well as a product with dimethicone, I imagine, but pretty well), but it might take a wash or two to get the excess out if you apply it heavily. A tiny drop smoothed onto the ends of your hair can make a nice leave-in that you will know has no aloe in it, though.

Nadine <3
May 5th, 2014, 05:06 PM
Oh wow, I was not expecting this many replies so quickly. :o Thank you guys.

@Nadine do you know if tresseme conditioners have aloe in them? Because that's the problem I kept running into a while ago, trying to find a leave-in conditioner or de-tangling stuff to help, it all seemed to have aloe in it, and I'm allergic.

He's the ingredients for the one I have sitting in my bathroom. It's the Moisture Rich with Vit E and it does not have aloe.
Water , Cetearyl Alcohol , Dimethicone , Stearamidopropyl Dimethylamine , Behentrimonium Chloride , Tocopheryl Acetate , Ascorbic Acid , Panthenol , Niacinamide , Biotin , Fragrance , Dipropylene Glycol , Lactic Acid , Potassium Chloride , Amodimethicone , Disodium EDTA , DMDM Hydantoin , PEG-7 Propylheptyl Ether , Cetrimonium Chloride , Polysorbate 20 , PEG-150 Distearate , Methylchloroisothiazolinone , Methylisothiazolinone

I love this conditioner if I make a tangled mess out of my hair. It detangles great!

Sarahlabyrinth
May 5th, 2014, 06:34 PM
Good luck with the detangling! I'm sure that with tons of conditioner in it your hair will decide to co-operate and allow you to detangle it. It could take some time but just be gentle, work from the ends upwards, just thin locks of hair and you will get there. Conditioner is just the best thing I know for detangling.

Wishing you well in dealing with your depression too, hugs!

vindo
May 5th, 2014, 07:38 PM
I second a hair dressr, lots of oil and conditioner and a good comb. Maybe a few tangles will have to be cut, but this is your best bet at saving it. :(

Robot Ninja
May 5th, 2014, 08:08 PM
My daughter has had horrible mats in her hair twice, and both times I've been able to get them out with only cutting a few stubborn tangles. I detangled it dry, because it was impossible wet, but I did have her use a coney conditioner beforehand. If you have a giant mat it might be best to loosen it as much as possible, so you'll get a bunch of individual sections and you can move your efforts around when your scalp starts to hurt. Frequently oiling the comb seemed to help, since it was the only way I could think of to get the oil into the center of the mats. I'd also suggest taking a break if your scalp hurts, or you just get frustrated or discouraged. Good luck!

jacqueline101
May 5th, 2014, 09:45 PM
As a person who struggles with tangles I'd try slathering on the coney conditioner. I'd use a wide tooth comb and section your hair into smaller pieces and work slowly end to root. Then after you're done id rinse the conditioner out keeping your hair tangle free. When you're done id add a cone spray or serum and braid it. Yes braid style that won't tangle up so badly at least for me it doesn't.

KittyBird
May 6th, 2014, 02:40 AM
Coney conditioner. LOTS of it! I did heat-free curls a few times, and the last time I ended up with crazy matting. Basically, my then hip+ length hair was just one big tangle in the back. It took a ton of conditioner, several hours, and a quite a bit of crying before I managed to get it out. I used a wooden comb to detangle. I think the suggestion to go to a salon is good too, sounds like it would maybe be easier to have someone do it for you. Best of luck! :)

Wing-Chun-Bec
May 6th, 2014, 04:10 AM
Hi Eisa :)

There's a de-tangler brush, looks a bit like a hedgehog, oval shaped with bristles... not sure I can put a pic up of one, but google de-tangler brush :) they are excellent.

2nd, hairdresser might well be your next stop if de-tangler brush, patience and conditioners you can use? don't work after you've tried :)

I will also add, having been in some very dark places myself that 5-HTP is brilliant at giving you a little lift when you feel that darkness coming, that or L-Tryptophan... but... you cannot take those if you are on an anti-depressant.

Wishing you the very best in your de-tangling...

Positive Thoughts :)

Bec x

Wing-Chun-Bec
May 6th, 2014, 04:12 AM
http://chescofrugalliving.com/2012/07/50-off-knot-genie-hair-detangler-brush-8-99.html

hope that image works of de-tangler brush lol