Can't find the right balance...

[ExpectoPatronum]

My hair, my scalp, and my skin all have very different needs and trying to find something that makes all three of them happy is proving to be extremely difficult, and not to mention expensive. I've tried all sorts of routines and products and not one has been able to make me completely happy. I'm always having to compromise on something and it's so frustrating!

Here's a quick synopsis of things I've tried:

SLS - Scalp happy, hair okay as long as I use a good conditioner, skin VERY unhappy...lots of itchy rashes :(
SLS free - hair was pretty happy, skin was okay (itching), scalp was unhappy and flakey.
CO washing - hair VERY happy, skin alright (itchy, but not so bad), scalp VERY unhappy.
Shampoo bars - scalp happy, skin okay (very very minor itching), hair very unhappy.
Cone free - hair unhappy, skin gets minor rashes (I know this from when I used conditioner with shampoo bars)
Cones - my hair loves them.

How on earth do you find a routine where your skin reacts to everything, your scalp gets build up easily, and your hair gets dried out easily? Is there a way to do this for cheap? I can't afford to keep trying new things, and I can't afford to have to repurchase something every month. :/

I'm using Herbal Essences right now and my hair and scalp are fine, but my skin is soooo itchy. I've been scratching until I bleed.

I am in need of the wisdom of LHC to guide me towards a routine that makes everything happy! I'd much appreciate any advice and product recommendations, and I'd appreciate recommendations even more if they weren't really expensive.

(also I'm not sure if this would be better in the products forum or here :/ Please forgive me if this would be better elsewhere!)

[Ocelan]

Is there a possibility for you to wash your hair so that the products don't get on your skin elsewhere but at the scalp? Such as a bucket of water where you dip your head or bending forward (or if you are limber, backward) in the shower? It seems to me that your head likes SLS, but your body doesn't. Mine doesn't either. I even think I get breakouts around my mouth from toothpaste since it also has SLS, which my mouth needs but my face doesn't... It's always tricky. I get breakouts from cones and SLS and whenever I have to use those I try to not let my hair or the water running fom my hair touch my body. It's not the best option but usually I'm fine with cone-free CO washing or the occasional diluted sulphate free or low sulphate shampoo so I can take the occasional trouble.

If you decide to go back to a routine which makes your scalp unhappy I'll ask you: Do you usually use an acidic rinse after your washes? I sometimes get that itchy feeling too (like yesterday when I washed with diluted shampoo instead of CO'ing) and it seems that ACV rinse always helps my scalp find the right balance. I use the stuff with the "mother" in it so it has all the goodies. I actually notice if I've had that itchy feeling, use an acidic rinse and happen to miss a spot such as behind the ears where it's harder to get it. It may still itch at the point that I missed but not elsewhere. ACV rinse can be used on the body aswell to get it back in balance. It might be worth testing if you don't usually use it.

[Johannah]

Like Ocelan said, the word 'ACV' was the first thing on my mind. Also, is WO washing an option for you? It doesn't work for a lot of people, but maybe it's worth a try?

I feel very sorry for you! I hope you'll find a way to manage this! :grouphug:

[Aderyn]

Have you thought about doing oil treatments (coconut oil, maybe a bit of tea tree oil) on your scalp prior to washing with your shampoo? Heavy, light, etc?

I also second the vinegar rinse. You could also look into herbal vinegar rinses and include things such as tea tree essential oil that could help with your scalp.

Not too sure if you've tried them in combination with one another, but what about shampoo bars and coney conditioners? I've dilly dallied around with that and didn't have an issue with build up (worst case scenario you could use a generic shampoo to remove buildup once in a while on the length of your hair) and things worked quite well. If worried about excessive buildup, there are cones that don't build up so heavily, such as amodimethicone and BIS aminopropyl dimethicone (I know the Aussie Moist conditioner formulation, last time I looked, fit the bill for that and is cheap).

Lately, I've been doing shampoo bar (on scalp), cone-free conditioner (lots), then some coney conditioner with good results, and it's all fairly cheap.

Not sure what sorts of shampoos you've tried or what you have, but you could try out different surfactant combinations, without SLS (sodium lauryl sulfate) and try for SLES (sodium laureth sulfate) and/or cocamidopropyl betaine, as those ingredients are still quite cleansing, yet not as irritating as SLS. SLS tends to be very harsh on my skin as well, though SLES is much less irritating.

I've also heard good things about clay/mud washes (albeit I don't know many people who have tried it), including the hair wash from Terressentials or just buying clay and then following a DIY recipe, though not sure you'd want to try out yet another product.

Just a few suggestions of things to try, with products your probably still have laying around from your experimentation. I hope you find something that works for you!

[ErinLeigh]

One option could be to rotate. Do a scalp happy wash day, Hair happy co wash day, scalp happy, etc etc. This way at least scalp and hair are getting 50% of their favorites.

What about combining? The poo bars hit 2 out of 3. Can you just wash the scalp with them and follow with the citric acid rinse and then apply the coney conditioner? You could always just clarify as needed if you have buildup concerns. Or maybe applying conditioner first to length and co wash it ears down, leave it on and rub the poo bar over scalp to clean it then rinse all, a quick second run of conditioner away from scalp just in case suds got on length then rinse and be done.

Have you tried honey mixed with the SLS free on your scalp? Clay? Doing scalp oilings for the itches? Scalp oiling is controversial but if you haven't tried it suppose its worth a go. Have you tried Monistat to see if its a fungus on the scalp or visited a dermatologist? I don't see CWC on the list..is that an option with a scalp happy shampoo or Nizoral, Head and Shoulders or something? Maybe SLS shampoo and WCC method? WCC makes up for the harsh shampoo for my hair. It makes a difference somehow.

Has anything worked before and if so what was the most overall best option? By the way, I think your hair is looking incredible and it get better and better every week if that's possible. You are doing something right by it..maybe you aren't seeing as well as an outsider looking in?

EDIT: lol looks like I agree with Aderyn

[Katrine]

You've already gotten great suggestions. I just had a few things to add. Have you ever diluted your shampoo with distilled water? I like to do a rotation of different methods because no one method can seem to keep my scalp and hair happy. When my scalp is itchy/irritated I like to do a 70:30 ratio of water:shampoo in a small bottle. I also add a small amount of Dr. Bronners (1/4 t) and 2 drops of eucalyptus oil. I always follow up with an acidic rinse, as already suggested, and it really helps my scalp issues. (I have psoriasis) But I find if I do shampoo too often I start to have issues with itching and flaking. Then I alternate with another method and so on. For now its usually shampoo bars alternated with soapnuts every now and again.

I've also read that hemp oil can help with scalp issues. I've not tried it yet but one of these days I plan to. When certain scalp areas flare more than others I've put a drop or two of the eucalyptus oil on them and it helped. Tea tree, Rosemary and Lavender EO's are recommended for scalp issues. You could use whatever oil that works for you as a carrier oil with them. I have a lavender mist that I sometimes spray on my scalp to calm down the itching.

I'm sorry you are having these issues. It can be really frustrating to find a routine that works with scalp/skin issues. (my skin is sensitive as well) Hang in there. With a little more experimenting I'm sure you'll find the right method (s) that work for you.

[ExpectoPatronum]

Oh wow, so many things to try! Thank you everyone for the ideas.

I used to do acidic rinses (ACV, but then switched to citric acid as I didn't like the smell) when I used poo bars. I'm wondering if maybe that was the reason I didn't have scalp (or skin) issues with poo bars. That might be a useful experiment to perform. It wouldn't take anymore time out of my routine either. Looks like I'll be digging out the citric acid next wash! I do also have tea tree essential oil and plenty of herbal teas so it looks like I have some more playing around to do!

I will also be washing my hair away from my body (in the shower, no yard or a big enough sink unfortunately) to try and minimize the amount of suds that come into contact with my annoyingly sensitive skin. That idea was so simple, I feel like a dolt that I didn't think to do it.

Funny, I never thought to try cone-y conditioners with shampoo bars. I don't know why, but I had it in my head that you could not use the two together. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. Maybe a CWC with a cone-free conditioner, poo bar, then cones? That sounds promising. It would also give me a way to use up the shampoo bars I have. While I did like them, they were a little price-y for my liking and I don't really like that I have to buy them online.

Erin, first of all, thank you for the kind words! Maybe I do need to take a step back and pretend I'm someone else looking at my hair. Your post also got me thinking. I have tinea versicolor (fungal infection in the skin, I have a shampoo to treat it oddly enough) I wonder if maybe I've developed it on my scalp? As I said, I do have a shampoo that I use on my skin to treat it, so I might use that to wash my hair and see if that helps anything too.

What else...My hair doesn't really like honey. It gets really poofy, and not in the way I like. Clay washes are a little out of my comfort zone, and I'd be afraid of clogging the drain. I already did once with cassia. :D Scalp oilings aren't my favorite thing, I think they make me shed so I tend to reserve those for when I do the inversion method. I do always always always oil my length before washing, especially with the SLS shampoos.

Whew! Looks like I'm going to have to make a list and schedule out some experiments.

I know I didn't respond to every single thing, but there was so much and I didn't want to write a super huge post! But, those were the things most people seemed to agree on/things that stuck out to me.

Edit: Katrine, you posted while I was posting! I already dilute my shampoo, though not with distilled water and not with that ratio (maybe half to half? I do it in my hands which in hindsight probably doesn't work the best...). I've seen Dr. Bronner's for sale around here, can you use it diluted in place of shampoo? I heard it can be kind of harsh. Isn't sensitive skin fun? Sigh...

[torrilin]

How on earth do you find a routine where your skin reacts to everything, your scalp gets build up easily, and your hair gets dried out easily? Is there a way to do this for cheap? I can't afford to keep trying new things, and I can't afford to have to repurchase something every month. :/

Have you tried any fragrance free products? Many hair products are heavily scented, and itching and rashes are the most common way for skin to react to fragrance. For shampoo, the inexpensive solution is a fragrance free baby shampoo from the drugstore. The other drugstore classic is Neutrogena's T-gel (I'd definitely talk with your doctor about that one to make sure the coal tar will not interfere with your fungal infection medicine).

Finding fragrance free conditioner in a "typical" drugstore is pretty hellish. I happen to have an AWESOME locally owned pharmacy cooperative, and they have a huge selection of fragrance free products. They get a lot of my business just for that. I tend to rely on Alba Botanica's leave in conditioner and Alaffia's Everyday Shea and Everyday Coconut products. They're all available fragrance free, and they work well for me. (be *very* careful with the Everyday Shea products if you have a latex allergy... shea nuts contain latex, and it's not really possible to get it all out in processing)

While Dr. Bonner's soap is not my ideal product, the mantra of Dilute! Dilute! Dilute! on the bottle is a good one for sensitive skin. (really, for most skin)

[Katrine]

Oh wow, so many things to try! Thank you everyone for the ideas.

Edit: Katrine, you posted while I was posting! I already dilute my shampoo, though not with distilled water and not with that ratio (maybe half to half? I do it in my hands which in hindsight probably doesn't work the best...). I've seen Dr. Bronner's for sale around here, can you use it diluted in place of shampoo? I heard it can be kind of harsh. Isn't sensitive skin fun? Sigh...

I only use a very small amount with my dilute shampoo. Its a very oily shampoo and seems a bit heavy. I don't think it would be very easy to wash out. I've never used it full strength. I got a kick out of the Dilute! Dilute! Dilute! on the bottle (as torrilin pointed out) because I was already doing it and could never use it full strength. So if you do decide to use it, just a small amount added to your dilute mix might be more helpful than using it on it's own. HTH :)

[ExpectoPatronum]

Hey guys. I figured I would update this since I've done a thing and it's helping.

I washed my hair on the 4th using my prescription shampoo. I followed the directions of letting it sit on my scalp for 2-3 minutes, then rinsing, then repeating once more. It was cool because I actually felt the tingly feeling I get when I use it on my skin, which means there was definitely something up there that wasn't happy with it.

My scalp felt a lot better out of the shower. My itching was reduced, as were my flakes. The only downside was that shampoo dried the every living hell out of my hair. I figured it would, so I had oiled and applied conditioner to my ends before. I shudder to think what it would have been like had I skipped that step o_o

I put some coconut oil in my hair this morning before I katniss braided it for the day. Deciding my hair needed a break from the harsh selenium sulfide, I went ahead and washed with Herbal Essences, only this time I washed AND rinsed while bent at the waist so that the suds wouldn't run down my skin. That made a huge difference! I didn't have a rash coming out of the shower for once!

My scalp itchies seem to be under control for now, though there was some more flaking, which is normal for the fungus that I tend to get. I'll use the shampoo again a few more times because once is never enough to clear it up.

In addition to my scalp feeling better, I've also noticed less shedding in and out of the shower. Usually, I'd finger comb my hair in and out of the shower, but there'd be hair everywhere. I don't know why, but I decided to use a wide toothed comb to comb my conditioner through and at first, seeing the amount of hair coming out made me really really uneasy because it was a lot! However, I noticed almost no hair coming out when I combed after my shower. I guess the comb does a better job at removing loose hairs all at once than my fingers did. I'll take that! Even so, I noticed less hair coming out when I combed in the shower today. Maybe 3/4 of what it usually is. It wasn't a drastic reduction, but I definitely noticed less! I hope it continues to improve as I get my scalp issues under control.