My curly haired child's ends stick together as if glued; Why?

[pinchbeck]

I have multi-textured hair so have never had to deal with curly locks. My eight year old child has blond curly hair that is regularly trimmed, is more on the thinner side and is apl. I have found with detangling the ends are literally 'stuck' together as if a dab of glue was added to stick 'em together. Furthermore, the back always clumps together like a matted dog and it's only in this one spot! To remedy these strange tangle issues, I finger comb and use coconut oil and patiently detangle for 10+ minutes.

What's going on? There are times where I feel frustrated and of course want to cut it.

[midbackorbust]

Have you tried clarifying? I had major clumping and that fixed it for me. Best of luck in finding a solution!

[Anje]

I agree that clarifying might be in order, plus plenty of conditioning, oil, and protective styling to limit how much it can tangle.

Given that she's a kid though, is there any chance that it's actually glue? :D

[Jennah]

I have multi-textured hair so have never had to deal with curly locks. My eight year old child has blond curly hair that is regularly trimmed, is more on the thinner side and is apl. I have found with detangling the ends are literally 'stuck' together as if a dab of glue was added to stick 'em together. Furthermore, the back always clumps together like a matted dog and it's only in this one spot! To remedy these strange tangle issues, I finger comb and use coconut oil and patiently detangle for 10+ minutes.

What's going on? There are times where I feel frustrated and of course want to cut it.

Sounds like it may be dry.

You can try applying leave on conditioner after washing her hair in the shower. In the morning just damp it a little bit (put your hands under the faucet and then rub them gently over her hair) and apply more conditioning but do not comb (only comb in the shower), although you can comb the top of her head with a bit of conditioner but not the ends.

Hope it helps!

[darklyndsea]

In my experience, the right products will make a huge difference in tangling and detangling.

A lot of people have matting/severe tangle issues at the back. I haven't heard of any solutions for it other than wearing hair up, unfortunately.

[jrmviola]

Double Check that its not: Glue, Honey, Tree Sap, Peanut Butter... etc. Else, sometimes my newly trimmed hair will stick together at the ends. Also if I've been braiding alot lately it will stick together. Or if its dry, or if I use too much Oil and not enough conditioner. Or if i havent brushed it in the past 24 hours...

[pinchbeck]

My son doesn't play with glue at all or any other sticky substances and his hair is 'glued together' even at the end of the day when I have spent all day with him. Saturating his locks with conditioner doesn't work and when I don't comb his hair he gets even more tangles! But I do agree it is dry even though I wash it with shampoo once per week. What we're going to try (that hopefully isn't a fad) is a Sprite Shower Filter to see if the lack of chlorine will make a difference.

^^^I wonder why your hair sticks together at the ends after it's been trimmed?

[Anje]

You're conditioning his hair heavily, right? For curls, infrequent shampoo isn't nearly enough to moisturize.

The shower filter can make a big difference if your water is heavily chlorinated. It made a big difference for my husband's dry itchy skin when he had an apartment in a high-chlorine location. But I wouldn't expect it to replace conditioning a few times a week with something rich and slip-inducing.

[ARG]

My daughter has very fine, but curly hair in the back of her head, and it too gets matted pretty bad. A tangle teezer (http://www.tangleteezer.com/index.php) has quickly become our best friend, also coconut oiling directly after her bath. I've started braiding her hair at night (its only a little tiny braid, but it helps!) and we switched her to a satin pillowcase.

[pinchbeck]

My daughter has very fine, but curly hair in the back of her head, and it too gets matted pretty bad. A tangle teezer (http://www.tangleteezer.com/index.php) has quickly become our best friend, also coconut oiling directly after her bath. I've started braiding her hair at night (its only a little tiny braid, but it helps!) and we switched her to a satin pillowcase.

Does your daughter's hair look oily after her hair has dried? The braid idea and satin pillow case are good ideas - I just hope my son will allow me to braid his hair.


You're conditioning his hair heavily, right? For curls, infrequent shampoo isn't nearly enough to moisturize.

What do you mean "infrequent shampoo isn't nearly enough to moisturize"? I wash my son's hair once per week with shampoo thinking this was better than twice per week, should I not use shampoo at all and just co-wash?

[sourgrl]

Oh, the joy of caring for curly hair that's not your own! My DS, who will be 5 next month, has my wavy hair on his crown and my husbands curly hair underneath. It's currently at APL when stretched. He has this one section of hair that used to matte something awful until I started this routine: I shampoo his hair (his hair doesn't care if it's SLS free or not), then follow up with Hello hydration (HH) conditioner. After a thorough rinse I squeeze out the excess water and work about a pea size amount of HH as a leave in through his length, focusing on the area that tends to matte. I let it air dry then set it with Panacea winter salve. The battle that I used to have to comb his hair... the tears... are no more.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y83/sagon069/photo2-2.jpg (http://s3.photobucket.com/user/sagon069/media/photo2-2.jpg.html)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y83/sagon069/photo1.jpg (http://s3.photobucket.com/user/sagon069/media/photo1.jpg.html)

[ARG]

Does your daughter's hair look oily after her hair has dried? The braid idea and satin pillow case are good ideas - I just hope my son will allow me to braid his hair.


Only if I use too much oil (which I do frequently because I only wash her hair every other day to every two days). When I do do that, I pop her hair in a pony or pig tails, but that might not be an option for you.

Look into different moisturizing products, a heavier conditioner, or even using mineral/baby oil to seal in the moisture after the wash. Good luck!

[Rosa Harris]

My son detangled his in the shower while he had conditioner wash on. He likes Panteen naturals co-wash. Says its very easy to detangle with his fingers while its in then he lefts the shower rinse it out. Dont scrunch the hair on top of the head, tho. That tangles up curlies like crazy. Seperate and rub conditioner along the length. Just massage the scalp. Let dry naturally - no combing after the shower and no scrunching rubbing with the towel - just pat dry. He rolls his up in a towel - its thigh length. His curls always made currly-locks that stuck together. Curls are just like magnets to each other or something. Mine separates into bunches, too. Its dry in the pic below. He encouraged them when he got older so they made long ringlets all down his back. He is a heartbreaker.

[tigereye]

Does your daughter's hair look oily after her hair has dried? The braid idea and satin pillow case are good ideas - I just hope my son will allow me to braid his hair.



What do you mean "infrequent shampoo isn't nearly enough to moisturize"? I wash my son's hair once per week with shampoo thinking this was better than twice per week, should I not use shampoo at all and just co-wash?

I think she means that shampooing less won't make that much difference unless you are conditioning heavily.
Have you clarified recently?

[spirals]

Mine does this. I make a detangler with some citric acid in it, which closes the cuticle and makes detangling easier. I use a tangle teezer--well, Goody's version of it.

[jrmviola]

My son doesn't play with glue at all or any other sticky substances and his hair is 'glued together' even at the end of the day when I have spent all day with him. Saturating his locks with conditioner doesn't work and when I don't comb his hair he gets even more tangles! But I do agree it is dry even though I wash it with shampoo once per week. What we're going to try (that hopefully isn't a fad) is a Sprite Shower Filter to see if the lack of chlorine will make a difference.

^^^I wonder why your hair sticks together at the ends after it's been trimmed?

I really dont know why but its only when I trim does it do that. For example last year i trimmed four inches of dead ends off and the first two or three days afterwards it tangled like mad. But only those days and then it was fine. Doesnt do it when i just dead head sporadically.

[eadwine]

Hrm... strange question, but are your scissors sharp and ONLY used for hair? It might look like a clean cut which gets rid of dead ends, but it might make matters worse if it is a pair that is used for other stuff as well or hasn't been sharpened properly.

[Symphony]

Lady with curly hair here. You didn't say anything about hair typing, so I am going to assume his/her hair is at least 3a-ish/3b, since you specifically said ringlets. I'm going to be very specific, just because I don't know how much you know.

I have my full hair routine in my profile, but my hair is 3b/c, and LONG, so s/he would need a modified version. If you can't access my profile, here is the link to the routine (sorry for the formatting) http://pastebin.com/W2myNkdZ .

Curly Basics
As far as the matting on the back of the head... Get a satin pillowcase. If I even so much as take a nap without sleeping on satin, I get mats in the back of my hair. Most satin pillowcases are under 20 dollars, very affordable, and will last you a long time! For me, this is a MUST, not an option.

In regards to shampooing, less is more. the main thing you want to do is use shampoo ONLY on the scalp, and largely leave the hair alone. Shampoo UNDER the curls on the scalp. DON'T pile all the hair up on his head and shampoo it all together.

Another must is CONDITIONER. You mention your shampoo usage (once a week, which is a good step in the right direction), but you don't mention anything about conditioner. Curly heads NEED conditioner. LOTS of conditioner. They say for every 1 bottle of shampoo you buy, buy 3 conditioners. When you are done washing their hair, rinse it thoroughly, slather LOTS of conditioner on.. enough to make the hair feel very slippery. THIS is when you will comb it. Do not comb curly hair when dry... it will only end in tears! Use a wide-toothed shower comb, or even your own fingers. Lots of curly haired people strictly finger-comb, as it is much gentler. When you reach a tangle, pull the strands away from each other, not down through the tangle.


When you dry the hair, never rub it around in a towel. You blotch and scrunch it in a t-shirt. Remember, you don't want to re-tangle it, because after you comb and rinse it in the shower, it is DONE!

As a curly head, your kiddo has to learn not to touch their hair too much. It might not matter much now since s/he is a kid and probably doesn't care too much, but as they get older, start teaching them to not run his hands through their hair and to not touch it. This causes frizz, damage, and tangles.

As for the dry ends, have you tried Apple cider vinegar? Sometimes my hair gets crunchy/velcro-y on the ends despite everything I do to moisturize it, and I learned it may be from minerals in my water that build up. So I make a routine to do a 1:3 (vinegar:water) mix once a month (I usually do this first wash of the new month). I have details about that in my routine linked above. This SERIOUSLY improved my hair, and I highly recommend it before you decide to chop his hair off.

I commend you for learning about how to care for curly hair. I wish my mom had done that for me when I was younger! I think it's important, because by learning how to care for it now, THEY will learn how to care for it as they get older, and might even be able to escape the embarrassment/shame that most curly haired people had to endure in their younger years, due to lack of care knowledge.

[DancingQueen]

Mine sometimes stars to do this, when I need a trim, and it does start around APL. It would be a shame to cut it, though. I think the solution is to use a shampoo and conditioner wit cones, and a leave-in with cones as well. You can also use a detangling spray before combing her hair. I think it would be sad to cut it, I am sure it is very beautiful. Also, giving it a deep conditioning once in a while wouldn't hurt either. :)

Childrens hair tends to be much more fine and tangly, maybe especially the blondes. My cousin (10 years old) have fine, blonde, straight hair. Her hair is literally impossible to get a hand through, even though you don't notice it when just looking at it.

Maybe children's hair is just too fine to respond positively to coconut oil and all the other natural things.

[jrmviola]

Hrm... strange question, but are your scissors sharp and ONLY used for hair? It might look like a clean cut which gets rid of dead ends, but it might make matters worse if it is a pair that is used for other stuff as well or hasn't been sharpened properly.

it could be, but although im using sizzors that are.... 25 years old?, They are only ever used on hair and sporadically at that. This happened when i was little and went to a hair dresser too, i remember. I think it has something to do with the cut being square at the beginning but quickly tapering off afterwards. That would be my guess. I really dont think this is the problem with this situation though, i suspect that is a hair diameter/ type problem of some sort. Might be its tangling throughout the day and needs brushing or something more often.... If the curly girl method is not going to be used... (sorry if this is very train of thought, im tired)...

[meteor]

You got some great advice, and I agree with most of it.
Also, look at the ingredients of the conditioner(s) used. Are there many humectants: aloe vera, glycerin, honey, etc? Also, do you use any gels on your kid's hair? Gels and other leave-in/hold products create this problem sometimes, especially in lower humidity.

[pinchbeck]

Mine does this. I make a detangler with some citric acid in it, which closes the cuticle and makes detangling easier. I use a tangle teezer--well, Goody's version of it.
Write your recipe here!