I play with my hair to dang much.

[Nadine <3]

I realized that I'm playing with it to much. I'm constantly twirling it around my finger, running a comb through it, taking it down, putting it back up, taking it back down, sometimes I wash it just because I'm stressed out and washing it is a nice calming activity. I'm forever checking the back to make sure my hemline is good and maybe it grew a bit since 20 minutes ago...right lol

SO to try and get my hands out of my hair, I'm going to try and adapt to a minimalist routine. I have very fine hair, and handling it so much isn't good! I just had to trim away a bunch of split snappy ends and I'm sure it's all the fiddling around. I also think I should try and put my mind to something more constructive... I'm posting here so I don't flake out on this, maybe there are others around who fiddle with theirs to much too. We can support each other!;)

Anyways, here's my routine I constructed. Very simple and straight forward.

Wash every 4 days. My hair doesn't even get dirty until then. I don't need to wash unless it's dirty.

After shower apply leave in to damp hair, blow dry bangs, detangle and pull back into a damp braid. Wear braid all day. Do NOT take down, wear braid to bed.
Next morning, take braid down, finger comb and re-braid it. I'm sticking with braids and not buns even thought they're less protective because I like them more and they take more effort for me, which means I'm less likely to take those down and fiddle with them.

Wear same braid to bed.

I'll be allowed saturday and sunday to practice new styles and wear something different if I want, or do deep treatment.

What do you all think?

[Laurenji]

I notice I tend to play with my hair less when it's bunned with Amish pins as opposed to a hairstick, because it's less likely to come loose, and it's harder to undo and re-do. I hate having my hair down generally, so I almost always have it up in a bun or a braid. Lately, I've been braiding it in the morning, putting it in a bun, then taking down the bun & sleeping in the leftover braid at night, so I'm really only touching it in the morning when I braid it.

[Nadine <3]

What is an amish pin? I don't have any and going out and buying something new for my hair will only give me a reason to mess around with it some more lol I just need to stop messing with it so giving myself one option and sticking to it is what I need to do. I could always pin my braid up with some spin pins :)

[Laurenji]

They're basically just hairpins, but they're made out of thicker, stronger wire, and you can get them in really long lengths so they're like little tiny hair forks. I previously put my buns up with some 3" hairpins that I found at Sally's Beauty Supplies (kind of like these, but a different brand I think: http://www.amazon.com/Diane-Hair-Pins-Bronze-Pound/dp/B000YIG7ZK), but I recently acquired some Amish pins off of the swap board and I love them! Amish pins come in different sizes. I use 3" ones for my buns currently, but I used to use shorter hairpins when my hair was shorter & my buns were smaller.

Also I just found this picture from an old thread on here which gives a great comparison of different types of hair pins: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=44228&p=1014546&viewfull=1#post1014546

[Kaelee]

I do it too. Yay OCD! The more stressed I am, the more I play with my hair. :rolleyes: You're not alone!

[ladylowtide]

I love top of the head buns. It's all the convenience of a pixie cut, without the chop. I also have worn the same braid multiple days it is doesn't get visibly jacked up. When my hair was apl-bsl I had obsessive phase in which I would try all the mid length hair tutorials online and see if I could do them yet.... so much grumpy hair. If you aren't thinking about your hair and its not in reach it is not getting messed up. :) Good luck!

[Jumper]

I am so bad about washing my hair being a calming thing. I love it. I've gotten a little better by only conditioning it, not washing, if it is not actually dirty.

[YvetteVarie]

Anyways, here's my routine I constructed. Very simple and straight forward.

Wash every 4 days. My hair doesn't even get dirty until then. I don't need to wash unless it's dirty.

After shower apply leave in to damp hair, blow dry bangs, detangle and pull back into a damp braid. Wear braid all day. Do NOT take down, wear braid to bed.
Next morning, take braid down, finger comb and re-braid it. I'm sticking with braids and not buns even thought they're less protective because I like them more and they take more effort for me, which means I'm less likely to take those down and fiddle with them.

Wear same braid to bed.

I'll be allowed saturday and sunday to practice new styles and wear something different if I want, or do deep treatment.

What do you all think?
I think your routine will work out well. You know what would make you not play in your hair constantly and you took the steps to stop it. All the best with your new routine

[momschicklets]

I fiddle with mine quite a bit too...and it's only collarbone length. I literally have to force myself to stop running my hands through it to fluff it, smooth it, plump it, etc. LOL What I have noticed is that the more I touch it, the faster it seems to get dirty as I must be transferring all kinds of dirt and oil from my hands :p I'm trying to wash only twice a week, so that helps me remember to keep my hands out of my hair.

[LunaHuntress]

*raises hand* Yup, chronic hair fiddler here too. I twirl, pet and, when I'm really stressed, even... chew my hair! shudder: It sounds like you've got a good game plan for stopping- you know your habits and what would work best for you, so I think you'll do good. Me, I need to keep mine in buns as much as possible. When it's in a braid I tend to play with the tassel, so it's up, up and out of the way for me. I noticed I'm worse at it now that I've been taking care of my hair, it's gotten so soft I want to pet it all the time. :p

Maybe we need to form "Hair Fiddlers Anonymous."

[Laurenji]

*raises hand* Yup, chronic hair fiddler here too. I twirl, pet and, when I'm really stressed, even... chew my hair! shudder: It sounds like you've got a good game plan for stopping- you know your habits and what would work best for you, so I think you'll do good. Me, I need to keep mine in buns as much as possible. When it's in a braid I tend to play with the tassel, so it's up, up and out of the way for me. I noticed I'm worse at it now that I've been taking care of my hair, it's gotten so soft I want to pet it all the time. :p

Maybe we need to form "Hair Fiddlers Anonymous."

This is totally me.

[Katlette]

Your plan sounds good! If I don't get my fiddling under control, I might steal some of your ideas.

I genuinely have less hair on the right side of my head because I keep twirling and pulling at it. :eek:

[lazuliblue]

I play with my hair too much as well! It's because I haven't had hair this long and healthy at a time when I'm well enough to appreciate it...but now I have my ketylo hair sticks I plan on leaving my hair alone once it's put up!

[jacqueline101]

I like to cover mine with a lace scarf. I do this when I wear my hair down to keep me from playing with it.

[Nadine <3]

*raises hand* Yup, chronic hair fiddler here too. I twirl, pet and, when I'm really stressed, even... chew my hair! shudder: It sounds like you've got a good game plan for stopping- you know your habits and what would work best for you, so I think you'll do good. Me, I need to keep mine in buns as much as possible. When it's in a braid I tend to play with the tassel, so it's up, up and out of the way for me. I noticed I'm worse at it now that I've been taking care of my hair, it's gotten so soft I want to pet it all the time. :p

Maybe we need to form "Hair Fiddlers Anonymous."

I'm in the same boat! My hair has never been this soft and healthy and it's getting longer than it's ever been! I'm at the point now where I would be running to have it chopped at my neck. I just want to pet it all the time because it's so soft! I like the Fiddler Anonymous group idea :)


I think your routine will work out well. You know what would make you not play in your hair constantly and you took the steps to stop it. All the best with your new routine

Thank you, I started it last night with a good clarifying wash, then I stuck it into a braid. This morning I pulled out the braid, did a quick scalp massage, admired my lovely braid waves and the nice shampoo smell...then I stuck it right back in my braid. I stuck the hair tie a little further up so I don't keep stressing out the same spots. At some point I'll style my bangs for the day, but I feel lazy.


I am so bad about washing my hair being a calming thing. I love it. I've gotten a little better by only conditioning it, not washing, if it is not actually dirty.

I have an anxiety disorder so I'm anxious and stressed out a lot and my hair doesn't like getting wet. The more frequent I wash, the duller and sadder my hair becomes, even if I am only CO washing.


I love top of the head buns. It's all the convenience of a pixie cut, without the chop. I also have worn the same braid multiple days it is doesn't get visibly jacked up. When my hair was apl-bsl I had obsessive phase in which I would try all the mid length hair tutorials online and see if I could do them yet.... so much grumpy hair. If you aren't thinking about your hair and its not in reach it is not getting messed up. :) Good luck!

Thank you! I love sock buns on the top of my head! Even though my hair is pretty light, they end up making my neck sore being way up there! I like to try all the different hair videos too. I see something cute and I HAVE to try it and I could go on like that all day, cycling through different styles. By the time I'm done my hair looks like I got electrocuted lol


I do it too. Yay OCD! The more stressed I am, the more I play with my hair. :rolleyes: You're not alone!

Yay for not being alone! :)


I play with my hair too much as well! It's because I haven't had hair this long and healthy at a time when I'm well enough to appreciate it...but now I have my ketylo hair sticks I plan on leaving my hair alone once it's put up!

Good luck!


I like to cover mine with a lace scarf. I do this when I wear my hair down to keep me from playing with it.

Hm, never tried a scarf. I feel like it would bother me and I would just rip it off lol I don't like things other than my hair sitting on my head for some reason.

Doing well, but it's only day one so far!

[lectraplayer]

My question is what is ths point of having long hair if you can't play with it? ;)

[Wosie]

Oh, I am in the same boat. I fiddle with the right side of my hair whenever it's down so I try to bun- or braid it as often as possible these days... It's gotten long enough to be contained somewhat easily, so that's what's been helping me the most lately. I hope it'll help you too! We can do this. :D (Maybe I should join the "keep your hair up a week/month/year" thread [...can't remember the exact name of it]. :hmm:)

[Nadine <3]

My question is what is ths point of having long hair if you can't play with it? ;)

I don't think playing with it is bad, really. I'm just doing to much of it. It's not even very long yet, and it won't get long if I keep up all this fussing with it. This routine won't be for forever, I just need to tone it down. Take a brake for a few months, let t grow. Kinda like benign neglecting it. Focus on something else for a few months, then get a "whoa, it's gotten long!" surprise.

[jacqueline101]

I'm in the same boat! My hair has never been this soft and healthy and it's getting longer than it's ever been! I'm at the point now where I would be running to have it chopped at my neck. I just want to pet it all the time because it's so soft! I like the Fiddler Anonymous group idea :)



Thank you, I started it last night with a good clarifying wash, then I stuck it into a braid. This morning I pulled out the braid, did a quick scalp massage, admired my lovely braid waves and the nice shampoo smell...then I stuck it right back in my braid. I stuck the hair tie a little further up so I don't keep stressing out the same spots. At some point I'll style my bangs for the day, but I feel lazy.



I have an anxiety disorder so I'm anxious and stressed out a lot and my hair doesn't like getting wet. The more frequent I wash, the duller and sadder my hair becomes, even if I am only CO washing.



Thank you! I love sock buns on the top of my head! Even though my hair is pretty light, they end up making my neck sore being way up there! I like to try all the different hair videos too. I see something cute and I HAVE to try it and I could go on like that all day, cycling through different styles. By the time I'm done my hair looks like I got electrocuted lol



Yay for not being alone! :)



Good luck!



Hm, never tried a scarf. I feel like it would bother me and I would just rip it off lol I don't like things other than my hair sitting on my head for some reason.

Doing well, but it's only day one so far!

I started out not able to tolerate things on or near my head. I also had to learn to tolerate dangly things. It all takes time. As you put it one day at a time.

[Symphony]

I am awful about fiddling with my hair! I would do awful things to it, like stripping a strand with my fingernail. I think part of it is because curly hair has so much texture, and I would keep feeling all the kinks and whatnot. I am getting a LOT better about it, and since I have reduced the amount I mess with the ends of my hair, my hair growth seems to be increasing exponentially.

I still have days where I realize that I am fiddling too much with it, so on those days I will oil the ends and put it up in a bun on the top of my head where I can't feel the weight of it and be reminded that my hair exists, lol.

[heidi w.]

I would recommend you learn how to oil your hair.
heidi w.

[Nadine <3]

I am awful about fiddling with my hair! I would do awful things to it, like stripping a strand with my fingernail. I think part of it is because curly hair has so much texture, and I would keep feeling all the kinks and whatnot. I am getting a LOT better about it, and since I have reduced the amount I mess with the ends of my hair, my hair growth seems to be increasing exponentially.

I still have days where I realize that I am fiddling too much with it, so on those days I will oil the ends and put it up in a bun on the top of my head where I can't feel the weight of it and be reminded that my hair exists, lol.
Haha, I would make a really bad curly girl. I would look like I got electrocuted ALL THE TIME. curls are just so fun to play with!


I would recommend you learn how to oil your hair.
heidi w.

I do the occasional overnight oiling with either coconut or olive oil, and my leave in has both in it.

[LunaHuntress]

Well, not even one day and I've fallen off the wagon, but I plead extenuating circumstances. I'm a cashier and today I was assigned the register closest to the doors and every time they opened I got hit with a blast of cold air. So I took my bun out to keep warm (it's only BSL/MBL but it's long enough to keep the wind off my ears, neck and shoulders.) Of course this meant I had to finger comb it smooth at first, then more throughout the day as the wind whipped it around. Maybe it'll be easier keeping it up and away from my hands once it warms up. :shrug:

[swearnsue]

I play with my hair too much also, but I have "excuses" like I need to stimulate my scalp so I brush it. Then sometimes I notice the bun is off center, so I HAVE to redo it! My hair smells good when I use my favorite conditioner so I like to smell my hair! I know, I'm weird, but like another poster said, why have long hair if you can't enjoy it??

I have a suggestion though. Put some of your energy into your nails. You can file, color, clip, condition the cuticles etc and that will take some of your focus off of your hair.

[Tini'sNewHair]

Im going backwards all the time.

BEFORE i mentally made the decission to just grow my hair long (and my hair was about hip befooore i started hacking at it), I felt awkard with it, I didnt know how to enjoy it, what to do with it and since my hair was the longest compare to most people i also felt a bit out of place, like i didnt fit in with everyone elses bob cuts and hair dyes etc. So i used to put it up almost all the time.

NOW, when i started growing it again from shoulder, I wanted to touch it all the time - I loved discovering my natural colour again, my own texture again etc. I just couldnt get enough of looking at it and once I hit APL+ I started having it down a bit more then at BSL i just didnt want it up at all anymore BUT thats about when LHC grew on me and everything here made sense - If i want to have LONG healthy looking hair without many splits then i must take good care of it because my goal is CLASSIC and at this length, i believe you have to be pretty gentle if its to last and actually look nice. I then joined the wear hair up challenge, watched lots of clips on how to do buns with hairsticks, made my own sticks and taaadaaa now im at waist. I only wear my hair down on a special occasion so on any other day i bun it up in the morning and dont take it down until evening to braid and do it all again the next day .... :)

[blue_eyes]

I'm in the same boat, I play with my hair constantly. I hardly ever wear my hair up, just because I hate how I look with my hair up. But with it down, I can't keep my hands off it. I'm constantly running my hands through the roots to give it volume. I'm always running my hands through the length to get rid of tangles (my ends are damaged and tangle easily). I'm constantly looking at/pulling apart the ends (and S&Ding). And the worst thing I do is seem to constantly be rubbing the right side of my scalp. I though this might be okay because it would stimulate it, but the hair on that side is much thinner than the left, so I'm wondering if I'm doing some damage. I rub that side all the time, especially when I'm watching tv. :brickwall When I am at home I'll put it up in a hairclip, but even then I'll take it down 100 times a day, play with it a bit, and put it back up again. I need to stop fiddling with it, but it's like breaking a bad habit.

[Nadine <3]

This morning I pulled out my braid (it was unraveling itself from being worn all day and all night) and stuck my hair into a shower cap, showered, used some cocoa powder on my roots and some coconut oil on my length, then stuck it into two dutch braids. I'm so proud of myself for leaving it alone. My anxiety was kinda high at the store before so I did mess with my tassel a bit, but it's better than running my hands through it all day all the time...right?

[quiltlady]

I play with my hair when I wear it down, usually on wash days. It is so soft, I love the feel of my hair. When it is up, I occasionally run my hand over my head to feel how soft and silky it is. I am loving my hair, since learning how to care for it and keep it healthy.

[tommyboy]

I understand keeping it healthy, but part of the fun of having it long is being able to play with it, at least for me.

[Allie_snowflake]

I'm a fluffer and a finger-comber when it's down and when I do any kind of braid, I leave a long tassel (too much taper!) and then I swing it over my right shoulder and twist it around my pointer finger and rub the twist with my thumb. Ever since I discovered coconut oil my hair has been so soft. It's kind of like when I was a baby/small child and rubbed the silky binding on blankets! I actually wondered if skin oils could be bad for your hair!

[lectraplayer]

I think it's quite the opposite. The skin oils are what keeps the hair up.

[ErinLeigh]

I play with mine too much too. Sometimes I think up is worse for me because I readjust it constantly. I need to put it up in a way that is harder to take down, but I hate the feel of pins and they rip my hair out.
I am still trying to figure this one out too. I have hair OCD when it comes to smoothness or feared tangles. I comb a lot more than I should.
I am too short to braid so I am just in a pickle. It is going to have to be a focused effort for me to stop taking hair down the minute on single strand falls.
Sigh. I actually had to a sleep cap on tonight while sitting around (usually never wear it) just to keep my hands off hair since I am extra stressed tonight.

Your plan sounds good though Nadine. I would think braids would keep you from taking it down and playing with it. If you find you touch the braid too much you can just bun the braid and not think about it. I am envious! :)

[snuflan]

I too touch much hair too much, and it's really short! So I'm just trying to curl a strand of hair around my finger haha.

I read a tip in another thread; try to wear a ring or a necklace to distract yourself from your hair and fiddle with those instead :)