Leave my hair color alone strangers!

[maborosi]

I get asked, almost daily, if my hair is naturally red. (The answer is no- I'm a hennahead! Henna for life ^^) Generally, if it's someone interested in how I got that color, I love to talk to them about henna! Hooray for opportunities to evangelize about the wonders of henna! :o And generally, that goes well and maybe I've convinced a person or two to look into it.

However, I also get a lot of weird reactions- usually from men for some reason- when I say, "No, this isn't my natural color". A lot of guys give me this weird look or say something like, "Oh, that's a shame" or "Aha! Gotcha!". And then they press the issue and try to get me to tell them "why" I dye my hair, or what my natural color is. I never know how to take that because it comes off as incredibly rude. Like they just gained some sort of little triumphant victory over me because they figured out that I don't have red hair. I may be overreacting, but I just don't think that that's very nice and it's really not appropriate to talk to someone like that. Maybe they're trying to mess with me or joke around? My sarcasm-o-meter has been completely busted!

I surely cannot be the only one who's dealt with this. I just don't know how to take it or what to say. I cannot be rude, sadly. But I'm so sick of people doing this. Should I just lie about it to avoid that awkward moment when people think they can make snide remarks to me? My hair color has always been a contentious issue for me, and I'm genuinely really happy with what all my henna experimenting and alchemy has gotten me. :( It hurts my feeling when total strangers think they can just prod me about it and make me feel bad. Maybe they don't mean to, or maybe they just want to embarrass me because they know they can.

~maborosi~

[chen bao jun]

They are tactless. I notice men tend to like 'natural' though, at least in theory. (In fact, men tend to think all kinds of things are natural that their wife/girlfriend is doing, that it's completely obvious to other women are not natural at all). Definitely they are attracted to you if they are asking that and want you to say 'yes'. You actually don't have to answer anything, especially if you are not attracted back. Answering 'yes', sad to say, would probably mean that you would start to be tormented with the even more incredibly rude question about if your hair matches everywhere--some men can be disgusting like that...
I would just say 'It's my secret' or "guess' and smile enigmatically and cut off the conversation right there, probably by walking away, especially if you don't know them. Or even say, "I don't want to answer that."

[rohirrrims]

Oh yes, I have this all the time. I'm from Scotland and red hair is bullied in school A LOT. I am naturally brunette and even I was bullied when my hair went coppery one summer... madness. I chemically dyed red for years as a teen and my boyfriend at 15 dumped me because I dyed my hair red (!). Anyway, I grew to love ginger hair and now I use henna thanks to LHC.

Old women stop me in the street constantly in Scotland to ask about my hair, it is weird but nice! I am always open to talking about my hair colour and how I achieve it! Now I am in Holland and no one gives a damn about it, which I found odd tbh because red hair seems so rare here compared to Scotland?

It has been the reason for a lot of male interest though because it reminds them of celebrities they like or something. I'm a bit of a nerd, I play World of Warcraft and have doubled for Karen Gillan from Doctor Who in a film, so the guys that are fans of those things tend to like red hair, and that's where the creepy "is it natural *wink wink*" "do the curtains match the drapes" comments come from! I ended up removing myself from social media because it was making me self conscious to get these comments.

However like you said, the one thing that really upsets me is the guys that give me a hard time for dying my hair red. I once had a friend of a then BF reduce me to tears in the pub by asking WHY I dyed my hair red, was it for attention, was it because it distracts from me not being pretty?? ... he said I was lying by dying it red and a desperate attention seeker. I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)

Basically it is ok for a woman to fake blonde hair because that is conventionally sexy in his eyes, but he thinks it is not ok for a woman to dye her hair a colour that isn't as desirable to men (again, in HIS eyes). I had blonde hair for a year and never got any bad comments, never asked if it was real or fake, never asked if it "matched", never told it was attention seeking to change my appearance so drastically... so I guess that matches his point. Because when I dye my hair red it is anyone's game to make nasty comments or prod at me until I tell them "NO, IT DOESN'T MATCH".

[Charybdis]

However like you said, the one thing that really upsets me is the guys that give me a hard time for dying my hair red. I once had a friend of a then BF reduce me to tears in the pub by asking WHY I dyed my hair red, was it for attention, was it because it distracts from me not being pretty?? ... he said I was lying by dying it red and a desperate attention seeker. I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)


Maybe that guy should try faking being a decent human being. That's just straight-up bullying -- he happened to pick your hair to bully you about, but people like that will use anything that's different or unusual about someone as fodder for bullying. Shame on your former BF for not telling his "friend" off loudly and publicly. :grouphug:

[rohirrrims]

Maybe that guy should try faking being a decent human being. That's just straight-up bullying -- he happened to pick your hair to bully you about, but people like that will use anything that's different or unusual about someone as fodder for bullying. Shame on your former BF for not telling his "friend" off loudly and publicly. :grouphug:

Yes you are very right! And I was super upset with my ex for not defending me, but that's another story! Sadly it's not the only time a guy has made nasty comments about faking being a redhead to me... as if I am purposely out there to deceive them with it!

[Kaelee]

UGH! I can't believe some of the things people say to redheads...I honestly have never encountered it, except from my seriously old school grandfather who HATES red hair (though when he says things, I just chuckle and roll my eyes. :lol:) Most people don't notice my hair, of course various shades of red that are more or less unnatural looking are common here. Occasionally someone will ask if it's my real hair color...the question doesn't offend me but it always gives me pause because I don't consider my particular head of hair to be all that natural looking. By now, all of the people I see on a frequent basis know I dye it, it's just no big deal. 99% of the comments that I have gotten have been inquisitive or outright positive (one friend asked me, do I dye my hair, because if I don't that is the most spectacular natural hair color he's ever seen. I guess it looks not fake enough to pass for natural even though it's unusual, and makes people wonder.)

[Kherome]

Men THINK they like natural, but the problem is, most of them have no clue what is actually natural. They did a study once, of men who claimed they liked natural women, no hair dye no make up etc.

So they showed them photos of women who were natural and not natural. Like 90% of them chose the women wearing subtle makeup and with hair color etc. They almost never picked a women with no makeup. When they spoke to them after the test, the men were "shocked" that the ones they picked had hair dye and make up on.

To me it just illustrates a point that I've tried to make many times. People don't remember what real looks like any more.

[lapushka]

I used to get a lot of "attention" back when my hair was red. Depending on who the attention is from, it can become quite creepy. I'd go with my gut on this, whether you answer yes or no. Besides, it's none of their business in fact, and that answer might be good to give as well, depending on the situation.

[SkyChild]

Yeah I got this a lot when I was ginger. Again I'm in Scotland so people tended to think it was natural. But I have dark brown eyebrows - so they clearly don't know what they're talking about.

I've had some people bully me because of it, some people were quite impressed and a lot of guys thought I was trying to be sexy. I never got an comments about does the rug match the drapes but I suppose that's because I was pretty up front about dying it.

I agree with lapushka - go with your instincts and if someone being weird just walk away.

(Also like Kherome's point, men don't realise how subtle make-up and hair colour can be, and don't even realise what natural is)

[Brynja]

I don't dye my hair but I get really fustrated when people decide on the color of my hair,I don't even know entirely what my color is,I just assume that it's Blonette (closer to blonde sometimes because of the sun),I used to have a really light blonde hair when I was younger and it got darker as I aged but people always get into arguements with me because whatever color they say it is,then there's no changing it.
For example I had a girl in my classroom,she turned around to face me and said "your hair is brown like mine!!" it was really dark,and my hair still looked way lighter than her's (I like brunettes but I'm not a brunette!) I corrected her by saying that my hair is lighter than her's and it's too dark to even figure out what color my hair is,she really looked insulted and got protective,she gathered everyone around to make a point that my hair color is brown :rolleyes: I eventually gave up and went home with a bad mood. I had morning class with that same girl on the next day,and she clearly saw that my hair is NOT brown,she didn't say anything though. My hair color isn't even that special to be worth commenting on,it's not a unique color but still everyone seem to try to ruin my mood by deciding on my hair color for me,like some kind of professional.


Maybe next time I gotta say to a stranger who decides to tell me about my hair color,"Oh I didn't realize you have a doctorate in infrntifying hair colors!" or something like that :p

[MsBubbles]

Unfortunately to me that sounds like a wonderful opportunity for large amounts of nonsensical one-liners. "No, and this isn't my real head, either". Or any retort where you stare quizzically for a few extra seconds at their hair - if they have any.

[Kaelee]

Unfortunately to me that sounds like a wonderful opportunity for large amounts of nonsensical one-liners. "No, and this isn't my real head, either". Or any retort where you stare quizzically for a few extra seconds at their hair - if they have any.

:laugh: Oh I'll have to remember that one!

[Crumpet]

Men THINK they like natural, but the problem is, most of them have no clue what is actually natural. They did a study once, of men who claimed they liked natural women, no hair dye no make up etc.

So they showed them photos of women who were natural and not natural. Like 90% of them chose the women wearing subtle makeup and with hair color etc. They almost never picked a women with no makeup. When they spoke to them after the test, the men were "shocked" that the ones they picked had hair dye and make up on.

To me it just illustrates a point that I've tried to make many times. People don't remember what real looks like any more.

SO true. A lot of my male friends claim to like natural, non-catty girls...then they bring back girls with dyed hair and lots of makeup who view other women as competition. Men can be remarkably clueless sometimes.

[RancheroTheBee]

Whenever I had brightly coloured hair when I was younger, I'd have a lot of people touch my hair. Now I'm a bit older and I give off a bit of a "I own a bootknife" sort of vibe so nobody tries that anymore.

And men who say they like the natural look are usually bending to the same social pressure that tells women that wearing too much makeup or having weird hair makes them deceitful or fake; it's the idea that you have an obligation to be decorative but the second you're having a little too much fun with it, you're tricking people. I think the fact that "natural" is associated with purity sort of fuels the idea that when women wear a lot of makeup or dye their hair that they've messed with that kind of purity.

[chen bao jun]

Yes, its very very true that men are easily taken in by illusion, all the while saying how much they love natural. In point of fact, if your hair doesn't come off when they touch it and they are allowed to kiss you (and don't end up with stuff smeared all over their face as a result), they really don't much care. What they seem to object to is women who can't be touched and 'mussed up'. Beware men with sisters, though. My husband has a lot of sisters and purposely came by my dorm room (we were in college) at an odd time to scope out what I looked like when not 'fixed up'. he was very aware how different women can look before and after makeup. My father, who was also blessed with a whole bunch of sisters also had a very clear idea of what was real and what was fake and also because he had a lot of sister with LONG hair, hated long hair like poison, because he felt it needed so much fussing with. He picked out my mother partly because she really had short hair and he felt she'd have time for him, as opposed to time for her hair.
I still think that the guys commenting on the OP's hair are basically hitting on her and also, as for the lady whose boyfriend's best friend was so completely abusive, I bet he was feeling really jealous, too--either very attracted to her, or very possessive of his friend, or maybe both (which is kind of a poison stew that happens). A lot of guys think that any girlfriend is going to come between them and their buddy and the 'man' things they do together and can be just awful and if the boyfriend did not defend her, he's no loss as if he were truly serious, he would know how to put the friend in his place. He was basically telling the other guy by his actions that the friendship was more important to him than she was, which means he's not marriage material---yet.

ETA: on the other hand, women are very good at saying that you are fake, if you are attracting too much male attention, whether you are actually fake or not. Anyone on this board who's ever been accused of having hair extensions by a girl in front of a group of guys knows exactly what I mean.

[Of the Fae]

Oh yes, I have this all the time. I'm from Scotland and red hair is bullied in school A LOT. I am naturally brunette and even I was bullied when my hair went coppery one summer... madness. I chemically dyed red for years as a teen and my boyfriend at 15 dumped me because I dyed my hair red (!). Anyway, I grew to love ginger hair and now I use henna thanks to LHC.

Old women stop me in the street constantly in Scotland to ask about my hair, it is weird but nice! I am always open to talking about my hair colour and how I achieve it! Now I am in Holland and no one gives a damn about it, which I found odd tbh because red hair seems so rare here compared to Scotland?

It has been the reason for a lot of male interest though because it reminds them of celebrities they like or something. I'm a bit of a nerd, I play World of Warcraft and have doubled for Karen Gillan from Doctor Who in a film, so the guys that are fans of those things tend to like red hair, and that's where the creepy "is it natural *wink wink*" "do the curtains match the drapes" comments come from! I ended up removing myself from social media because it was making me self conscious to get these comments.

However like you said, the one thing that really upsets me is the guys that give me a hard time for dying my hair red. I once had a friend of a then BF reduce me to tears in the pub by asking WHY I dyed my hair red, was it for attention, was it because it distracts from me not being pretty?? ... he said I was lying by dying it red and a desperate attention seeker. I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)

Basically it is ok for a woman to fake blonde hair because that is conventionally sexy in his eyes, but he thinks it is not ok for a woman to dye her hair a colour that isn't as desirable to men (again, in HIS eyes). I had blonde hair for a year and never got any bad comments, never asked if it was real or fake, never asked if it "matched", never told it was attention seeking to change my appearance so drastically... so I guess that matches his point. Because when I dye my hair red it is anyone's game to make nasty comments or prod at me until I tell them "NO, IT DOESN'T MATCH".

Hey we're in the same tiny country^^ cool

I get it too, the questions about me being a natural red. I usually answer honestly, but sometimes I lie and say yes, because people just don't stop questioning me and frankly it is indeed rude when they go like": oooh but you should keep your natural color because be happy with who you are blablah.
As if I am not happy with who I am as a person because I dye my hair? weird

[Of the Fae]

Whenever I had brightly coloured hair when I was younger, I'd have a lot of people touch my hair. Now I'm a bit older and I give off a bit of a "I own a bootknife" sort of vibe so nobody tries that anymore.

And men who say they like the natural look are usually bending to the same social pressure that tells women that wearing too much makeup or having weird hair makes them deceitful or fake; it's the idea that you have an obligation to be decorative but the second you're having a little too much fun with it, you're tricking people. I think the fact that "natural" is associated with purity sort of fuels the idea that when women wear a lot of makeup or dye their hair that they've messed with that kind of purity.


I agree greatly with you too, by the way. I don't even wear thát much make up, but my eyeliner is conspicuous, usually black and pointed. I don't think "natural" is by necessity "better" than "artificial" whatever that may be. As Kherome said, most people think something is natural, but it is still subtly enhanced with make up and other things. I don't think it matters, people should express themselves the way they want to. It can be a true form of art.

[maborosi]

Hey we're in the same tiny country^^ cool

I get it too, the questions about me being a natural red. I usually answer honestly, but sometimes I lie and say yes, because people just don't stop questioning me and frankly it is indeed rude when they go like": oooh but you should keep your natural color because be happy with who you are blablah.
As if I am not happy with who I am as a person because I dye my hair? weird

Yeah that...bothers me. I get it sometimes from my family, but I usually assume it's just my brothers liking to give me a hard time because they're my mean brothers. :P I enjoy coloring my hair and playing with how I look. This is my happy color. I like hair color adventures- I've had every hair color under the sun and it is a true form of art in a way. Same with makeup and such- while it's not what I do- I prefer to play with my hair ^^

And RancheroTheBee- that really articulates the feeling I have really well.
It almost feels like by embarrassing me, they're gaining some sort of control over how I am and how I look. I "trick" people, and they try to gain back their control by being snide and rude and tearing me down.

It's not as if my hair's a wild color, either. It's pretty subtle- but the reeactions from some men when I admit it's not "real" are intense. I've sarcastically replied back, "Yes, this is my real hair, as you can see *tug tug*". But that's not me- that's not who I am and I don't like being rude- plus, I would get in hot water at my job if I took it too far.

On the other hand, lying about my color makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've done it a few times to shake people off who didn't stop asking, but I always feel very bad afterwards. It's really a no-win situation.

Also rohirrrims- what a fabulous color you have! It is wonderful! :D

~maborosi~

[oktobergoud]

I experience the same thing, well sorta! People always tell me how 'beautiful my hair colour is', then they ask if it's natural and when I say it's not, they're all sort of.. disgusted? Appalled? Like it's all of a sudden not beautiful anymore? I find that so weird and a bit frustrating... Oh well :P

[meteor]

Maborosi, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't henna work WITH your natural hair color as a translucent natural dye, rather than covering it up in an opaque way? Plus, it's very subtle change to what you have naturally. Then you can always say to their question on your whether or not your hair is natural color, "Some of it, yes".

I tell people my hair is not naturally this color, but it's only 5%-10% highlighted, the rest is completely virgin, yet I feel like I should still explain away the minimal "tampering". :rolleyes:
We really don't owe anyone any sorts of explanations! :cool:

[stachelbeere]

Oh yes, I have this all the time. I'm from Scotland and red hair is bullied in school A LOT. I am naturally brunette and even I was bullied when my hair went coppery one summer... madness. I chemically dyed red for years as a teen and my boyfriend at 15 dumped me because I dyed my hair red (!). Anyway, I grew to love ginger hair and now I use henna thanks to LHC.

Old women stop me in the street constantly in Scotland to ask about my hair, it is weird but nice! I am always open to talking about my hair colour and how I achieve it! Now I am in Holland and no one gives a damn about it, which I found odd tbh because red hair seems so rare here compared to Scotland?

It has been the reason for a lot of male interest though because it reminds them of celebrities they like or something. I'm a bit of a nerd, I play World of Warcraft and have doubled for Karen Gillan from Doctor Who in a film, so the guys that are fans of those things tend to like red hair, and that's where the creepy "is it natural *wink wink*" "do the curtains match the drapes" comments come from! I ended up removing myself from social media because it was making me self conscious to get these comments.

However like you said, the one thing that really upsets me is the guys that give me a hard time for dying my hair red. I once had a friend of a then BF reduce me to tears in the pub by asking WHY I dyed my hair red, was it for attention, was it because it distracts from me not being pretty?? ... he said I was lying by dying it red and a desperate attention seeker. I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)

Basically it is ok for a woman to fake blonde hair because that is conventionally sexy in his eyes, but he thinks it is not ok for a woman to dye her hair a colour that isn't as desirable to men (again, in HIS eyes). I had blonde hair for a year and never got any bad comments, never asked if it was real or fake, never asked if it "matched", never told it was attention seeking to change my appearance so drastically... so I guess that matches his point. Because when I dye my hair red it is anyone's game to make nasty comments or prod at me until I tell them "NO, IT DOESN'T MATCH".

You are my LHC hero :) wow! how awesome is that!

That guy was a complete a******* btw. I can't even understand how anyone could think of being that rude in front of a group of people.

[Springlets]

I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)

Basically it is ok for a woman to fake blonde hair because that is conventionally sexy in his eyes, but he thinks it is not ok for a woman to dye her hair a colour that isn't as desirable to men (again, in HIS eyes). I had blonde hair for a year and never got any bad comments, never asked if it was real or fake, never asked if it "matched", never told it was attention seeking to change my appearance so drastically... so I guess that matches his point. Because when I dye my hair red it is anyone's game to make nasty comments or prod at me until I tell them "NO, IT DOESN'T MATCH".

Yeah this is what I feel often, what every non-light blonde feels, is that bleached blonde hair is so accepted and preferred in society that there's really no reason to have a natural blonde color. When I used Sun-In and my hair was basically platinum blonde, I rarely got comments about "What is your natural color?" etc. I think that's because when you do dye your hair light enough, it's easy enough for people to see that it's not actually natural, but for most men, it's not really a question they want an answer to. They want to believe it's somehow your natural color, or they like the look of it enough that they're not really going to ask about it. I think the difference with red hair, especially if it's a more subtle natural-looking color (as opposed to say fire truck red), is that they can't immediately tell if it's fake or not.

I don't know, I guess it's similar to having huge fake breasts to more subtle, appropriate-sized fake breasts. No one's going to ask the huge one if they're fake because they already know, and there are quite a few men who like that overtly fake look. But for the guys who want natural yet find out that some thing is fake yet looks natural, I suppose some men are going to get upset by that. But that's their problem, not yours.

[Weewah]

And this is why I'm hesitant to ever dye my hair red or use henna. I've always liked red hair and think it looks awesome, I'm attracted to redhead dudes, and when I was an irish dancer I always admired the red curly hair with green dress look. but I don't know how many "Do the carpets match the drapes?!"-type comments I can take. Also I told my bf I was thinking of dying my hair red because I'm sick of growing out the blonde, and he got a stinkface and was instantly against the idea. I suspect he doesn't like redheads because of his crazy mom though.

I think redheads are an easy target simply because they're a small group. People can really suck sometimes.

[maborosi]

I experience the same thing, well sorta! People always tell me how 'beautiful my hair colour is', then they ask if it's natural and when I say it's not, they're all sort of.. disgusted? Appalled? Like it's all of a sudden not beautiful anymore? I find that so weird and a bit frustrating... Oh well :P

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. It's as if it can only be beautiful and admirable if you grow it out of your head. It's really too bad that people act that way. Your hair is so pretty and such a vibrant color. :)


Maborosi, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't henna work WITH your natural hair color as a translucent natural dye, rather than covering it up in an opaque way? Plus, it's very subtle change to what you have naturally. Then you can always say to their question on your whether or not your hair is natural color, "Some of it, yes".

I tell people my hair is not naturally this color, but it's only 5%-10% highlighted, the rest is completely virgin, yet I feel like I should still explain away the minimal "tampering". :rolleyes:
We really don't owe anyone any sorts of explanations! :cool:

Sort of- my hair is light enough that henna, even in low %, gives me a really bright (but still natural-looking) coppery color that's definitely far from my own (color temperature wise, as well. I have ash-toned hair). I sometimes say, "Meh, I just enhance it". I feel like henna isn't just a dye- it has all sorts of benefits to my hair, so I see it as not only a wonderful coloring agent, but it strengthens hair and adds gloss! But even if it were just a dye, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't owe people explanations- I feel like I have to explain away so much about my life as it is! If it makes me happy, it makes me happy.

~maborosi~

[Larki]

I tell people my hair is not naturally this color, but it's only 5%-10% highlighted, the rest is completely virgin, yet I feel like I should still explain away the minimal "tampering". :rolleyes:
We really don't owe anyone any sorts of explanations! :cool:
I do this too. Mine is natural, my hair is virgin, but I usually feel like I need to qualify my answer to the natural questions with "Yes, but it's been highlighted and lightened by the sun." :p

[Achlys]

Maborosi, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't henna work WITH your natural hair color as a translucent natural dye, rather than covering it up in an opaque way? Plus, it's very subtle change to what you have naturally. Then you can always say to their question on your whether or not your hair is natural color, "Some of it, yes".

I tell people my hair is not naturally this color, but it's only 5%-10% highlighted, the rest is completely virgin, yet I feel like I should still explain away the minimal "tampering". :rolleyes:
We really don't owe anyone any sorts of explanations! :cool:

Well, it is translucent, but might not be subtle at all if you have light hair. Especially with many applications.

I have gotten a few questions about whether my hair colour is real, but no bad reactions to "no" so far. Lately it seems my colour has become unnatural enough to not raise any questions. Some months ago my dad's friend was visiting us and kept asking me why I dye my hair red and if it's because boys force me to. :rolleyes: I told him that I dye it because I like red hair, but he wouldn't listen and kept asking about the boys until my mom told him to stop. And he came back to me later and asked a few more times.

[Lucky_Lucy]

However like you said, the one thing that really upsets me is the guys that give me a hard time for dying my hair red. I once had a friend of a then BF reduce me to tears in the pub by asking WHY I dyed my hair red, was it for attention, was it because it distracts from me not being pretty?? ... he said I was lying by dying it red and a desperate attention seeker. I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)Basically it is ok for a woman to fake blonde hair because that is conventionally sexy in his eyes, but he thinks it is not ok for a woman to dye her hair a colour that isn't as desirable to men (again, in HIS eyes). I had blonde hair for a year and never got any bad comments, never asked if it was real or fake, never asked if it "matched", never told it was attention seeking to change my appearance so drastically... so I guess that matches his point. Because when I dye my hair red it is anyone's game to make nasty comments or prod at me until I tell them "NO, IT DOESN'T MATCH".I'm sorry you went through that..the guy was a total jerk and he was bullying you; he had no right to say anything like that! As if it's any of his business why you dye your[I/] hair red or any other colour :| It baffles me how people ca be like that.As for blonde/dyed blonde women being conventionally sexy, um I have met(IRL/ but also on facebook etc) people who were actually obsessed with redheads/fake redheads. Honestly I think it's all about personal tastes, one might like red hair or not - but that shouldn't determine somebody else's sexiness/whether or not you're attracted to them. Personally, I adore red hair(and I kind of NEED my hair to be red, in case you haven't seen my desperate posts on the show me your hennaed hair thread XD), but when it comes to people I've really been attracted to- two were blonds/es, and all the others were dark haired :) I'm quite sure their hair colour hasn't influenced anything.
I've had some people bully me because of it, some people were quite impressed and a lot of guys thought I was trying to be sexy. I never got an comments about does the rug match the drapes but I suppose that's because I was pretty up front about dying it. I actually got that even though it was obvious that my hair was dyed...A guy(he was quite abit younger than me) actually asked me if I dye [I]all of my hair to match :|

[Lydialove]

I actually got that even though it was obvious that my hair was dyed...A guy(he was quite abit younger than me) actually asked me if I dye all of my hair to match :|

My favorite answer for that is "There's only one way to find out, but by asking you've ensured you never will."

[maborosi]

My favorite answer for that is "There's only one way to find out, but by asking you've ensured you never will."


Hahahaha, I love that.

~maborosi~

[vindo]

I sorta know how you feel! :/ I used to get Henna comments a lot!

Many thought the dark, burgundy color was my natural hair color, when it totally did not look natural...Sorry,but burgundy with a purple hue doesn't exist in nature. Lots of people also asked me if I was Irish :confused:.
When I stopped dyeing and grew out my natural auburn, orangey, red, golden brown whatever hair color, lots of my Youtube viewers actually seemed disappointed (!). To this day I get comments about how nice my henna was. It is like everyone wants me to dye my hair again :lol:.

So I get comments on henna over 4 years after I stopped!

[Kaelee]

My favorite answer for that is "There's only one way to find out, but by asking you've ensured you never will."

:laugh: I never get the "does the carpet match the drapes" question...but truth be told it NEVER matched. My hair is naturally a medium brown, my body hair, eyebrows, everything else is almost black! :bigeyes: I never stressed about my dyed hair matching for this reason...if I never matched naturally why should I care now?


I sorta know how you feel! :/ I used to get Henna comments a lot!

Many thought the dark, burgundy color was my natural hair color, when it totally did not look natural...Sorry,but burgundy with a purple hue doesn't exist in nature. Lots of people also asked me if I was Irish :confused:.
When I stopped dyeing and grew out my natural auburn, orangey, red, golden brown whatever hair color, lots of my Youtube viewers actually seemed disappointed (!). To this day I get comments about how nice my henna was. It is like everyone wants me to dye my hair again :lol:.

So I get comments on henna over 4 years after I stopped!

I don't get it either. In some light, my hair is a VIBRANT orangy auburn, in some light, it looks brown, some light cherry red and in some light- burgundy purple. I have no idea how it could be thought of as natural most of the time, but for some reason, people seem to think it is. (and it just occurred to me, something that can shift between ORANGE and PURPLE depending on light...is pretty freakin' awesome. ;))

[Sharysa]

Oh boy, I'm actually glad that I live in America because as ridiculous as we can get, at least we don't have homogeneity to the extent of most Asian countries.

I don't like watching Filipino media because every reporter, game or show host, or actress has the same mid-length, straight hair that's usually dyed brown and/or layered. Plus they're all deathly pale. Which is a very far cry from the average Filipino girl, who is at least a bit brown-skinned with black hair. Sure, they might naturally have brown hair and pale skin, but flooding the media with a single appearance type isn't a natural practice.

I've never gotten asked about my hair or whether it's natural (color or length wise), but it might be because people already think "Asian hair" is a genetic lottery prize.

[teddygirl]

Meh. There are alot of people on here that admire blonde hair, but when they find out it's dyed they suddenly change their opinion.

[Islandgrrl]

Yeah I got this a lot when I was ginger. Again I'm in Scotland so people tended to think it was natural. But I have dark brown eyebrows - so they clearly don't know what they're talking about.

FWIW, I am a natural redhead (and I henna, too) and my eyebrows are not naturally red. They are light brown. Not every natural redhead is red...um...all over.

[maborosi]

FWIW, I am a natural redhead (and I henna, too) and my eyebrows are not naturally red. They are light brown. Not every natural redhead is red...um...all over.

Same with pretty much any hair color. I have naturally light blonde hair and extremely dark brown (almost black) lashes and brows.

~maborosi~

[Kaelee]

Same with pretty much any hair color. I have naturally light blonde hair and extremely dark brown (almost black) lashes and brows.

~maborosi~

Yep. Medium brown natural hair and almost black lashes and brows here.

[Larki]

Haha I have medium blonde hair, but dark blonde eyebrows and multi-colored eyelashes (they start out light brown, but they're blonde-tipped). And then I have white-blonde hair on my arms/legs.

[blue_eyes]

I don't use henna, but I have dyed my hair dark brown/black for years, but last I saw my natural color it was a level 7 blonde color. I remember men would ask if my dark hair was natural, and when I said no & told them I was naturally blonde, I always got this reaction like "REALLY? I want to see you blonde. You need to go blonde." I always found this kind of...weird.

My only memorable moment that really irked me came from a cousin when he saw that I'd dyed my hair (he has a 'everyone is entitled to my opinion' type of personality). He basically told me that women who dye their hair are "fake" and "trying to be something that they're not". Yeah...okay.

[rohirrrims]

You are my LHC hero :) wow! how awesome is that!

That guy was a complete a******* btw. I can't even understand how anyone could think of being that rude in front of a group of people.

Awww thanks, if only they hdn't cut my scene from the film! Still, it was an honour to be asked to do it!
And yes I'm glad everyone agrees that the guy was being ... well... can't say it here!

[ErinLeigh]

It must be something about natural red hair being rare that it just brings the comments. People are curious. Have they spotted the elusive rare creature? The mythical "wild,crazy redhead?" Being told no they didn't may disappoint them secretly. I have dyed my hair over 2 decades and the only time I have been asked (mostly by men) if my hair was natural was when it was red. Most times people don't give a hoot what color my hair is. Red got a lot of attention.

[tigereye]

I have a naturally very reddish dark brunette colour. Nobody ever questioned the colour at the roots. However, in my fifth year of high school in Perthshire, I came back from a holiday in the Dominican Republic, and the sun had lightened my hair,especially the ends which hadn't always been hidden under my hat, making it look very coppery. I was accused of dying my hair so often that I eventually just gave in and said it was just to stop the comments. I went to uni and nobody questioned my colour when I started henna-ing it, but I do live in a nicer place these days. Fewer people here are like to ask rude questions to people they don't well know. There are some but far fewer than at high school.

[MissBubble]

I live in a country where the 99% are naturally brunettes or black haired but the 80% of them dye it blonde or at leaast have, mostly unsuccessful, blonde highlight. Half of those blondes do also wear extensions of any kind.
And I have been often accused because of my red hair, I am also a natural brunette, that I pretend to be a red haired. They never say that for the rest of the unnatural haired women that dye it blonde.

I am also quite tall, 5'11", and very thin, and I often get the comment that I shouldnt dye my hair red because it is what the ugly :confused: and overweight or very short women do because they cannot get attention otherwise.

[stachelbeere]

Awww thanks, if only they hdn't cut my scene from the film! Still, it was an honour to be asked to do it!
And yes I'm glad everyone agrees that the guy was being ... well... can't say it here!

It's a shame they cut it! :( I hope you don't mind me asking what episode and scene it was? At least you've got the experience, no one can take that away from you :)

[rohirrrims]

It's a shame they cut it! :( I hope you don't mind me asking what episode and scene it was? At least you've got the experience, no one can take that away from you :)

Thank you! (Sorry for thread hijacking here) It was for her film Not Another Happy Ending filmed 2 years ago, they contacted me on twitter because they needed a double for a scene and even though I was slightly overweight at that time and my pre LHC hair was AWFUL (so not a great double!) it was a great experience to get paid to act with my favourite actress:D
https://www.facebook.com/NotAnotherHappyEnding/photos/pb.194125950646926.-2207520000.1397938347./399764756749710/?type=3&theater

http://i1052.photobucket.com/albums/s448/rohirLHC/nahe1_zpsadeb8406.jpg


And on topic - this caused a lot of creepy "natural redhead" comments and FB messages/tweets and some "you didn't deserve this role because you fake your hair colour" comments blahblahblah *flips table* I deleted that twitter account! I'm not a confident person so this was the last thing I did that put myself somewhere I'd get attention anyway.

[Lydialove]

Aw. You look great. Anyone who said you didn't deserve it was just jealous.

[stachelbeere]

rohirrrims I think your pre-LHC hair looks absolutely beautiful! At least in the pictures it does :) And wow, you really do look a lot like Karen Gillan hehe! And you don't look overweight at all, IMO. Thank you for posting the photos, made me happy :)

now a bit of a rant: I REALLY don't get how people can get so emotional and kind of...elitist? about a certain hair colour so that you felt the need to delete your twitter account! That is outrageous!
Is it maybe a cultural thing? You being from Scotland? As in red haired people are more common in Scotland than anywhere else (yet there are still not too many compared to the rest) and not everyone can be part of this "elite" group of few. And the ones who dye their hair red - how dare they trespass the holy territory of gingerhood and deceive everyone around???

I also find it rude to even ask someone whether their hair is dyed - it's as if someone was asking a big breasted girl whether she was wearing a push-up bra. So nosy and untactful.
True, red hair is a rarity - but why is there such a stigma on people who dye it red is a mystery for me.

on a side note - I love how they cast two red haired main actors (Karen and Stanley Weber) for the film :D

[tigereye]

rohirrrims I think your pre-LHC hair looks absolutely beautiful! At least in the pictures it does :) And wow, you really do look a lot like Karen Gillan hehe! And you don't look overweight at all, IMO. Thank you for posting the photos, made me happy :)

now a bit of a rant: I REALLY don't get how people can get so emotional and kind of...elitist? about a certain hair colour so that you felt the need to delete your twitter account! That is outrageous!
Is it maybe a cultural thing? You being from Scotland? As in red haired people are more common in Scotland than anywhere else (yet there are still not too many compared to the rest) and not everyone can be part of this "elite" group of few. And the ones who dye their hair red - how dare they trespass the holy territory of gingerhood and deceive everyone around???

I also find it rude to even ask someone whether their hair is dyed - it's as if someone was asking a big breasted girl whether she was wearing a push-up bra. So nosy and untactful.
True, red hair is a rarity - but why is there such a stigma on people who dye it red is a mystery for me.

on a side note - I love how they cast two red haired main actors (Karen and Stanley Weber) for the film :D

As a girl who's lived in Scotland all my life, I haven't experienced it any worse than I have in the likes of Colorado or Switzerland. She said she lives in Scotland earlier, but why the assumption that it's culturally acceptable here?
The comments I got in high-school were equally common for black-hair, not just red, because true black is also uncommon. Outside of petty teenagers at high-school, I haven't come across it much at all in Scotland, and when I was at school, it was the natural gingers that got the brunt for being ginger, not those dyeing red headed, unless it was so subtle it looked natural. To most adults outside of Glasgow that I know, commenting on another's hair colour in the ways described in this thread would be exceptionally rude. On the other hand, when I visited America, grown men and women talked about my hair colour like those young schoolgirls at home did. It may be a cultural thing, but if thats the case, it's definitely more international than national.

[Kat]

They are tactless. I notice men tend to like 'natural' though, at least in theory. (In fact, men tend to think all kinds of things are natural that their wife/girlfriend is doing, that it's completely obvious to other women are not natural at all).

LOL, right? All these men who say "i hate women in makeup" but oh, the things they say about the women who don't wear it! Also, all the "hot" women are always made up to within an inch of their lives, and they seem to like it okay then...

(I suppose what they maybe really hate are people who cake it on, or don't know how to wear it, and all makeup gets the bad rap for it just like everybody knows ONE person with ratty long hair and they think all long hair is like that. But...)




However like you said, the one thing that really upsets me is the guys that give me a hard time for dying my hair red. I once had a friend of a then BF reduce me to tears in the pub by asking WHY I dyed my hair red, was it for attention, was it because it distracts from me not being pretty?? ... he said I was lying by dying it red and a desperate attention seeker. I asked him what about all the girls he fancies that dye their hair blonde? "Oh that's completely different" RIGHT OK. He was really malicious and I left in tears because he was attacking me in front of a group of people all because I was faking being a ginger (why even!)


WHAT? Did your BF just stand there while his friend attacked you like that??? Did all of the other people just stand there?


Yeah I got this a lot when I was ginger. Again I'm in Scotland so people tended to think it was natural. But I have dark brown eyebrows - so they clearly don't know what they're talking about.

I've had some people bully me because of it, some people were quite impressed and a lot of guys thought I was trying to be sexy. I never got an comments about does the rug match the drapes but I suppose that's because I was pretty up front about dying it.


My carpet has never matched my drapes... nor my eyebrows, leg hair, etc. When I was a kid, my hair was very blond. Still had darker eyebrows then, and darker body hair when it came in. Since then the hair on my head has darkened to sort of a light brown/dark honey brown, and my eyebrows are still darker, along with all of the hair on the rest of my body. (Except my arm hair, which is still very light blond.) I do do henna glosses on my hair now, but even with my natural color, the hair on my head never matched a single hair anywhere else on my body.



I agree greatly with you too, by the way. I don't even wear thát much make up, but my eyeliner is conspicuous, usually black and pointed. I don't think "natural" is by necessity "better" than "artificial" whatever that may be. As Kherome said, most people think something is natural, but it is still subtly enhanced with make up and other things. I don't think it matters, people should express themselves the way they want to. It can be a true form of art.

Yes. If I am wearing a good amount of black eyeliner, it is not because I'm bad at putting on makeup (I can use black eyeliner from "most guys wouldn't realize what it is making my eyes look good" subtle to "I am going to Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight" un-subtle and a lot of looks in-between), I'm aware it doesn't look "natural" (OMG you mean I wasn't born with black lines around my eyes???), etc. It is because I like the way it looks. (and it's also not for anyone but me, because *I* like it. Which is why I have sometimes been one of "those" women who wears makeup to the gym-- because gothy black eyeliner helps me get into an arsekicking mood for when I need to do tough things, and yep, I've worn it to the gym on days I have some heavy lifting or want to look like I should be left alone.)



I don't use henna, but I have dyed my hair dark brown/black for years, but last I saw my natural color it was a level 7 blonde color. I remember men would ask if my dark hair was natural, and when I said no & told them I was naturally blonde, I always got this reaction like "REALLY? I want to see you blonde. You need to go blonde." I always found this kind of...weird.

I think it's the idea that blond is the ideal, so if you're lucky enough to be blond, why would you change that? So, they're flabbergasted. How silly. (Of course, my response would've been, "If you like blond hair so much, why not bleach yours?" But, I'm a jerk who hates having her appearance choices criticized, so...)




"Is that your real hair color?"
"Yes, I don't think you're imagining it."

My henna glosses are probably subtle enough that no one would ask (that is, it doesn't jump out as "OMG RED HAIR!!!"), but if they do, I will probably just coolly reply with "why do you ask?" I mean, what can they really answer? "I just wondered?" At which I can smile and walk away without answering the question. (In my case, I would get it from strangers, so I can get away with doing that. Anyone who knows me wouldn't be rude about it, and any "racy" comments would be all in fun, not disrespect.)


Any guy who ever makes any sort of "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" comment to me is going to be (loudly) asked outright: "ARE YOU ASKING ME IF THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES?" If they don't have the good grace to be embarrassed and slink away after that, I'll then (also loudly) ask them why they are asking a complete stranger about her private parts.

[maborosi]

tigereye- I think it is cultural. I live in a part of the US where people are pretty open and willing to chat up strangers all the time. While we're pretty friendly, the whole commenting on appearance thing and asking intrusive questions comes with the territory, I suppose. People aren't very reserved where I live. That can be difficult for me since I'm pretty shy and introverted and don't really like talking to strangers. At work is one thing, but when I'm out and about, I want to be left alone.

~maborosi~

[tigereye]

tigereye- I think it is cultural. I live in a part of the US where people are pretty open and willing to chat up strangers all the time. While we're pretty friendly, the whole commenting on appearance thing and asking intrusive questions comes with the territory, I suppose. People aren't very reserved where I live. That can be difficult for me since I'm pretty shy and introverted and don't really like talking to strangers. At work is one thing, but when I'm out and about, I want to be left alone.

~maborosi~

Perhaps. I can believe it is cultural, but I miss how Scotland is somehow thought of as the worst for it. That's what I found hard to process from the last post I answered.
In Scotland, though people are often friendly and open, outside of Glasgow, I've never had a local stranger ask me about my appearance, short of saying that something is nice, like "what lovely shoes" etc. most people wouldn't dream of commenting something negative unless you knew them (which is how ginger hair bullying happens in high school, where everyone knows everyone). The reason I say outside of Glasgow is that the culture in it and the surrounding area is different to the rest of Scotland. They have different ideas of rudeness and politeness than the rest of the country, but it is just one region.
I've had pretty red hair at various points, either from sun-bleaching as a child (which turned my hair very coppery), or henna. I stopped hennaing last year and its (unusually) fading out to a dark reddish brown, but I can honestly say that during my red-head days, I felt it was a petty high school culture rather than general societal culture. It's just like outside of school, weight is a pretty taboo subject - no-one comments unless someone states they are happy about losing or gaining themselves. It's a bit odd to me that people think Scotland is so bad when that is not the culture I know from living here and I've had worse experiences with my hair colour elsewhere.

[rohirrrims]

Perhaps. I can believe it is cultural, but I miss how Scotland is somehow thought of as the worst for it. That's what I found hard to process from the last post I answered.
In Scotland, though people are often friendly and open, outside of Glasgow, I've never had a local stranger ask me about my appearance, short of saying that something is nice, like "what lovely shoes" etc. most people wouldn't dream of commenting something negative unless you knew them (which is how ginger hair bullying happens in high school, where everyone knows everyone). The reason I say outside of Glasgow is that the culture in it and the surrounding area is different to the rest of Scotland. They have different ideas of rudeness and politeness than the rest of the country, but it is just one region.
I've had pretty red hair at various points, either from sun-bleaching as a child (which turned my hair very coppery), or henna. I stopped hennaing last year and its (unusually) fading out to a dark reddish brown, but I can honestly say that during my red-head days, I felt it was a petty high school culture rather than general societal culture. It's just like outside of school, weight is a pretty taboo subject - no-one comments unless someone states they are happy about losing or gaining themselves. It's a bit odd to me that people think Scotland is so bad when that is not the culture I know from living here and I've had worse experiences with my hair colour elsewhere.

Hey, I think it was my post you are referring to! I was only stating my experience from my area of Scotland and how it compares to my experience in my area of Holland. I have no idea what it is like everywhere else, was just saying my experience! Not saying it is culturally acceptable everywhere else and Scotland is the devil or something! So I will just try and explain why I said that in my first post.

I grew up on a Scottish island so small community = small minds. I was always told as a kid the red hair was ugly and that people with red hair had bad tempers and all the ginger kids in school/high school were bullied because of this. Kids didn't pull this idea out of thin air, it was passed on from adults.

When I went to university I saw the same sort of attitude hanging around, no bullying because we weren't 'kids' but I still got what I call 'jellyfish comments'... "you're so ...brave to dye your hair that colour", that type of thing. My friends at university would openly tease me for volunteering to be ginger! This is where I had guys my age say nasty things to me, they said I was attention seeking for dying my hair a colour that would get bullied/not be seen as sexy. Some uni guys are all about girls as objects in my experience so yeah...

I had a psychiatrist at one point from India who told me she was so confused when she came to Scotland and realised that people were bullied for having red hair, because in her culture it is a sign of beauty. She did not understand the "Gingers have no souls" attitude here.
I remember in school that only one ginger girl kept her natural hair colour, all the others bleached it blonde or dyed it black. It is really common where I am from to see girls with ginger eyebrows and dyed black/blonde hair.

But lots and lots of elderly ladies have stopped me in the street or shops to say they love my hair colour, and they wished they saw more of it around! Sometimes on the same day I'd have men shout rude things at me from outside the pubs about my hair colour, so it isn't just a school thing by far.

So from these experiences I do feel that there is a stigma in Scotland attached to red hair. It is an iconic signature of Scottish people to have red hair, yet for some reason it is also seen as undesirable, at least by young people. Perhaps because there is more focus on the colour than in other countries? I have no idea but no one in Holland has ever made a single comment to me about my hair colour when I'd get it almost every day in my area of Scotland. Maybe they are more reserved, or maybe they don't care, no idea!

These are just my experiences that have formed my opinion, I'm not making sweeping statements about every society's opinion! :D

[rohirrrims]

rohirrrims I think your pre-LHC hair looks absolutely beautiful! At least in the pictures it does :) And wow, you really do look a lot like Karen Gillan hehe! And you don't look overweight at all, IMO. Thank you for posting the photos, made me happy :)

now a bit of a rant: I REALLY don't get how people can get so emotional and kind of...elitist? about a certain hair colour so that you felt the need to delete your twitter account! That is outrageous!
Is it maybe a cultural thing? You being from Scotland? As in red haired people are more common in Scotland than anywhere else (yet there are still not too many compared to the rest) and not everyone can be part of this "elite" group of few. And the ones who dye their hair red - how dare they trespass the holy territory of gingerhood and deceive everyone around???

I

Hehe, thank you! I personally think you're right there. A lot of people who for example found me through social media because of the filming, would assume that my hair was natural (even if it is painfully obvious to me that it isn't) because they saw I was from Scotland. I'd always say it was dyed and yeah then I guess they'd feel deceived because I wasn't really part of the mystical ginger Scots group they hear about and I wasn't really just an accessible version of Karen Gillan for them to annoy? They were also making comments about my weight and general appearance too because it was fair game or something, so I just needed a clean break from that twitter account.

But red hair is a really desirable trait if you're into things like science fiction/fantasy/comic cons etc because so many female characters have red hair. So most of my friends love the colour and dye their hair various shades of red. So the attitude in that community is a little different to the one I experience out and about in the streets. I have friends that are "cosplay famous" and a lot of their appeal is their dyed ginger hair! But then they don't admit they dye it and their fans believe they don't. When people realise it is dyed I have seen "disappointed" comments on their pictures. It's like the illusion of mythical ginger goddess has suddenly dropped! *shock horror*

[tigereye]

Hey, I think it was my post you are referring to! I was only stating my experience from my area of Scotland and how it compares to my experience in my area of Holland. I have no idea what it is like everywhere else, was just saying my experience! Not saying it is culturally acceptable everywhere else and Scotland is the devil or something! So I will just try and explain why I said that in my first post.

I grew up on a Scottish island so small community = small minds. I was always told as a kid the red hair was ugly and that people with red hair had bad tempers and all the ginger kids in school/high school were bullied because of this. Kids didn't pull this idea out of thin air, it was passed on from adults.

When I went to university I saw the same sort of attitude hanging around, no bullying because we weren't 'kids' but I still got what I call 'jellyfish comments'... "you're so ...brave to dye your hair that colour", that type of thing. My friends at university would openly tease me for volunteering to be ginger! This is where I had guys my age say nasty things to me, they said I was attention seeking for dying my hair a colour that would get bullied/not be seen as sexy. Some uni guys are all about girls as objects in my experience so yeah...

I had a psychiatrist at one point from India who told me she was so confused when she came to Scotland and realised that people were bullied for having red hair, because in her culture it is a sign of beauty. She did not understand the "Gingers have no souls" attitude here.
I remember in school that only one ginger girl kept her natural hair colour, all the others bleached it blonde or dyed it black. It is really common where I am from to see girls with ginger eyebrows and dyed black/blonde hair.

But lots and lots of elderly ladies have stopped me in the street or shops to say they love my hair colour, and they wished they saw more of it around! Sometimes on the same day I'd have men shout rude things at me from outside the pubs about my hair colour, so it isn't just a school thing by far.

So from these experiences I do feel that there is a stigma in Scotland attached to red hair. It is an iconic signature of Scottish people to have red hair, yet for some reason it is also seen as undesirable, at least by young people. Perhaps because there is more focus on the colour than in other countries? I have no idea but no one in Holland has ever made a single comment to me about my hair colour when I'd get it almost every day in my area of Scotland. Maybe they are more reserved, or maybe they don't care, no idea!

These are just my experiences that have formed my opinion, I'm not making sweeping statements about every society's opinion! :D

No it wasn't you. Individual experiences are just that. It was this I was referring to:

Is it maybe a cultural thing? You being from Scotland? As in red haired people are more common in Scotland than anywhere else (yet there are still not too many compared to the rest) and not everyone can be part of this "elite" group of few. And the ones who dye their hair red - how dare they trespass the holy territory of gingerhood and deceive everyone around???

It confused me because that isn't the culture I know at all.
I admit I have never lived on any of the islands, but again with the exception of Glasgow I don't think that culture really carries into the mainland much. At least not the highlands or northeast.

[VanillaTresses]

Oh, how I know your pain. The funniest part is that I get far, far more unwanted questions about my hair when it is my natural color (light blonde) than when it is hennaed or dyed. I guess this is at least partially why I have kept it darker by will for so long-- especially because a lot more weirdos seem to be attracted to the blonde, at least in my experience. I also have naturally dark eyebrows, so everyone thinks that they "know" that it is colored. :rolleyes: I agree that it is rude to ask in any case, and kind of creepy, too.

[eva888]

So glad I found this thread. I just dyed my hair red yesterday (from platinum blonde - naturally dark strawberry blonde), and I was worried about how to respond to the looming "natural" and "curtains" questions. Where I grew up in the US men seem very comfortable with objectifying women and I know that when I go back there for the summer especially I will get these questions. I even had several people ask me this when I was younger and I was always confused or angry because my natural hair color was not really that red - also mind your own *** business! Phew, anyway, reading these replies has made me realize that I don't need to respond. I will probably say something like "what do you think?" It really isn't anyone else's business.

[maborosi]

I'm glad people have found my thread helpful. :)

rohirrrims- you are right. I have seen that a lot in the more nerdy/comic-y/sci-fi scenes.
What a shame people felt like they had to be so nasty and mean to you. I think you look great and your pre-LHC hair looks fabulous.

~maborosi~

[Kaelee]

I think it must be a cultural thing. I don't consider "is that your natural hair color" to be an intrusive or impolite question at all. After all, I'm not out to deceive anyone, and there's nothing shameful about dying your hair.

[maborosi]

Oh, how I know your pain. The funniest part is that I get far, far more unwanted questions about my hair when it is my natural color (light blonde) than when it is hennaed or dyed. I guess this is at least partially why I have kept it darker by will for so long-- especially because a lot more weirdos seem to be attracted to the blonde, at least in my experience. I also have naturally dark eyebrows, so everyone thinks that they "know" that it is colored. :rolleyes: I agree that it is rude to ask in any case, and kind of creepy, too.

I had that issue too when I had my natural color, because my brows were so dark that people either accused me of dyeing one or the other, insisting it couldn't be natural.

~maborosi~

[stachelbeere]

tigereye, first of all, I have to say that I have regretfully never been to Scotland - the furthest up North I've been in Great Britain is Manchester :) and I don't have red hair (well - I'm growing henna out and the majority of it is some kind of an auburn but it doesn't count, I think). But I am interested in cultural differences across the world, and when I say 'culture' I mean certain types of behaviour (which of course differ from person to person - but it is measurable if you have a big enough group). My BA was in Intercultural Communication after all and I'm just the type of inquisitive person who likes to observe, make assumptions, ask questions and draw conclusions from the answers.

Anyway, I was just putting two and two together and asking questions. Where I live now (Central Europe, Slavic heritage) the 'general' hair colour is some kind of ashy colour; from lighter ash blond/ blonette to dark ash brunette is what generally grows on people's heads (me included); and there are only very, very few natural redheads. People who dye their hair red are in no way more or less special. My hair used to be hennaed and before that, dyed red, but it didn't really matter at all (then again my hair was not really that spectacular looking to be complimented). I knew a girl once who had the most gorgeous dyed red hair and in fact the way her hair looked was an advertisement for a hairdresser, as he had been dyeing her hair that one colour for years and the general reaction was always positive.

Hair in general isn't that big of a deal here. I rarely see girls with extensions, and they don't really style their hair as much as in other countries. I spent 6 months in the US, in a very rural place and girls were styling their hair a lot more there than in my city - It is there that I learnt how to use a curling iron (...and have given it up later on, thank you LHC) :) here, the only heat tool girls have and use seems to be a straightener.

So I was just curious if it'd be different in Scotland where natural red hair is more prevalent. You have different experiences and so does rohirrrims. And by the way, cyber bullying is so terrible, so I hope you've since recovered from that :blossom:

[maborosi]

Oh, how I know your pain. The funniest part is that I get far, far more unwanted questions about my hair when it is my natural color (light blonde) than when it is hennaed or dyed. I guess this is at least partially why I have kept it darker by will for so long-- especially because a lot more weirdos seem to be attracted to the blonde, at least in my experience. I also have naturally dark eyebrows, so everyone thinks that they "know" that it is colored. :rolleyes: I agree that it is rude to ask in any case, and kind of creepy, too.

Yeah that bothers me too. I have that combination and everyone assumes I dye one or the other, and they would get very accusatory about it. Granted, I haven't had it in over 10 years now, but that always bothered me.

People are weird.

~maborosi~

[maborosi]

I figured this was the thread to put it in because I'd started it a while ago, but tonight I had a pretty hard time because some (male) coworkers found out I don't have naturally red hair. I always fear what to say and tonight was like my nightmare situation come to life.

It just really really hurts my feelings when people pick at me like that. The girl I was talking to about it really thought it was very cool and interesting to hear about how I do hair, but then when one of my male coworkers found out, he was so visibly upset that he just stared slack-jawed at me. I thought that he was initially kidding around but then he went off about me being a liar, a cheater, a fake, a fraud, etc. I told them that I was proud of the work I put into my color and that I enjoyed my hair as my hobby and that I enjoyed styling it and having fun with it....I thought he was being sarcastic, but later on in the night, he said "I was so disappointed to find out that you're a natural blonde."

My response should've been something like "Why do you feel so upset by that? Why does what I enjoy doing as essentially a hobby make you so upset?" But all I was able to say "Sorry you feel that way"

DBF says not to worry because I'm not dating them, but I still get very depressed because my hair is such a special part of me- it's my little art project, and to see people trash what I love so much is incredibly hurtful. The girl I was talking to was so sweet and said that it was really cool that I have a hobby like that, so why did the guys get so angry? Was their "special thing" ruined for them or something?

I should've just lied. Now I feel like I don't want my hair anymore because, even though the color makes me happy happy happy, it draws a lot of negative attention that I don't want to deal with, and feel like I shouldn't have to.

[iluvbooks]

Same exact thing happens to me, except I'm a natural redhead.

[CathyGo]

I was a very shy child. I used to hate all the old ladies coming up to me to complement me on my red hair. This was in an area with primarily German descent(rural Missouri) so red wasn't very common. Honestly it was getting hit on by freaks only interested in my hair color as a young teen that caused me to cut it a few times. A 40+ year old guy hitting on me in the parking lot when I was 16 just wouldn't stop talking about my pretty red hair. I had to close the car door on his fingers(oops! not really) to get him to back off. Thankfully he realized I was serious when I put my truck in gear. I didn't look to see if he got his feet out of the way but I didn't hear any yells when I drove off so I guess he did. ;)

I've kind of grown into it though. My hair has also darkened some. It was a very coppery red when I was younger. I accept complements with a smile now. I was in the US Army Military Police so I'm comfortable telling the freaks to knock it off. I've always found a calm "Yes" effective when somebody yells questions about the "carpet". A reaction is what they want. If they don't get it they generally drop it.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

Men are clueless when it comes to beauty stuff.

My fiance looked into my eye and said "There's something on your eye, give me a sec..." and he rubbed off the wing part of my carefully-drawn eyeliner with his finger... :disgust: "That's my eyeliner!" i shouted and he was like "Oh...sorry..." I thought it was obvious that i was wearing eyeliner, appears that he thought i was born with it LOL :D

And i remember how he reacted to my hair sticks like "This thing holds ALL your hair by itself?! How do you do that???"

So yeah, they do feel triumphed when they correctly spot something a woman does to herself. :p

[hanne jensen]

For all of you lovely henna folks who get a lot of negative responses about coloring your hair, simply reply "Yes, it's natural". You can't get any more natural than henna!

[Dreams_in_Pink]

For all of you lovely henna folks who get a lot of negative responses about coloring your hair, simply reply "Yes, it's natural". You can't get any more natural than henna!

OR, worse yet, tell them you had your hair dyed at "insert name of the most expensive salon in your city" :smirk: Mwahaha!

[Zebra Fish]

I honestly don't see how dyed red hair differs from dyed blonde hair? There are "fake" blonds everywhere and I never heard they get "I am so disappointed you are not a natural blonde". Why all the fuss around "fake" red hair? At least today it is normal to dye your hair...

[StellaKatherine]

I have two sisters. One coloured her hair red with black stripes and other sister bleached her hair platine blond. Our granfather said to redhead, that colouring hair is discusting and ugly and to clearly bleached blond sister how incredible beautiful she was. Yup! It is still this. But then again in LHC it seems to be other way around. Henna colouring is good, bleaching is bad. People indeed will admire blond/gold hair as long as they know it is natural, but if hear it is highlighted or something like that - it is clear dissapoiment.

I have very weird colour myself. Here in LHC people call my hair golden coloured, and indeed when there is bright sunlight my hair does have this golden sparcles ( and that is when I like to take photos ;) ). But in reality I do not feel myself golden blond. Why ? Because 6 month per year we basicly have no sunlight and because people around call me brunette! I have no idea why they do so. I do not see my hair that dark. But because my hair isn't dark and isn't light - it perhaps confuses too much ? Someone was saying about the slavic heritage. I have some russian blood from my dad's line. Which I suppose gave me this weird colour. In russian language there is actually a name for this colour " русый " which translates as dirty blond, but I would say translation is too narrow as the colour can be everything between grayish blond and grayish brown. I personally never undertstood why people feel like they have right to comment someones hair colour. It is personal thing. My mom has some weird thought of me turning my hair in to ash blond.. It's like I won't get the ash blond hairs anyway when I get old :D

[Dona]

People can be strange when it comes to this. I do have my natural hair colour, but a lot of people don't believe me? It's naturally light blonde, but my eyebrows are somewhat darker. It has always been this way and a lot of people just assume I dye it. When they ask me and I tell them no, they usually don't believe me. But I've given up, haha. It doesn't really matter right, as long as it looks good?

[angstroms]

I never know how to answer those questions.
I have naturally red hair AND I henna it.
So it's always "yes, I'm a redhead, but this isn't my natural color."

[StellaKatherine]

And that weird question about carpet matching... Well there are men with blond hair and red beard ( saw one just couple of days ago ). Why in the world would someone assume that all of your body hairs are identical colours ? Like the hair on my legs and my hands so light that you almost can't see it . My eye brows and eyelashes are much lighter than my hair colour...

[fiðrildi]

I will never understand why is red hair bullied :(
I wonder if red hair is bullied or admired in Ireland (in my opinion it should be admired everywhere). It's so sad about the rude comments of people saying that you're seeking for attention, or pretending to be "attractive" by dying your hair in red colour... I don't understand the minds of those people!!

I've also been asked by strangers if I highlighted my hair, or what was the brand of my hair colour... :lala: (I've had virgin blonde colour all of my life). And ocassionally, when I replied that it was natural, some people would also do the rude question of the curtains matching the carpet :angry:

[JustPam]

I've had japes about supposedly being "another one jumping on the ombre bandwagon", although my ends are actually lighter because I used to bleach my whole head, then dyed it back to my natural colour and over time it has faded and I've not re-dyed it. I don't care though.

I too have had bright red hair in the past (and blue, and pink, and green, and purple...) and I actually got more positive comments than negative ones, and the negative ones were usually "your hair is going to fall out!" (which it did)

[lapushka]

I thought that he was initially kidding around but then he went off about me being a liar, a cheater, a fake, a fraud, etc. I told them that I was proud of the work I put into my color and that I enjoyed my hair as my hobby and that I enjoyed styling it and having fun with it....I thought he was being sarcastic, but later on in the night, he said "I was so disappointed to find out that you're a natural blonde."

That is just too weird for words. I'd keep an eye on that guy, because sounds to me like he's not all there.

[getoffmyskittle]

Simply say "I do not wish to discuss it with you." Firm but polite. You do not have to rationalize, justify, or explain yourself to entitled jackasses like the guy who went off on you at the party. At some point they need to learn that not everything is all about them and their wants. It is not right or normal to get that invested in a colleague's (or a stranger's) hair. Not every woman was put on this planet to please them.

[torrilin]

FWIW, I am a natural redhead (and I henna, too) and my eyebrows are not naturally red. They are light brown. Not every natural redhead is red...um...all over.

Really, most people don't have uniform hair color all over. My brows and lashes are very dark brown, to the point where they look black. My hair is the sort of ash blonde or ash brown (it's both! at once!) where it picks up highlights of all different colors at the drop of a hat. Most of my body hair is platinum blonde, but some hairs are the same dark brown as my eyebrows. And I just keep on being multicolor no matter where you check. And sun exposure changes things up even more.

[lady mechanic]

I'm also a hennahead. I just lie and say it's natural so I don't deal with idiot man questions lol. Besides henna is a natural plant Sooo it's sort of truthful

[allierat]

My hair was once a very convincing natural looking red after me trying to slowly dye it from bright red to something closer to my natural colour, no one ever asked if it was natural, they just assumed it was and were very rude about it. I worked in a shop at the time and a group of guys when past, one commented how nice looking I was and his friends all said "no, not at all, she's ginger!", made me feel awful :( I'll never understand why people think they can be so rude.

[allierat]

My hair was once a very convincing natural looking red after me trying to slowly dye it from bright red to something closer to my natural colour, no one ever asked if it was natural, they just assumed it was and were very rude about it. I worked in a shop at the time and a group of guys when past, one commented how nice looking I was and his friends all said "no, not at all, she's ginger!", made me feel awful :( I'll never understand why people think they can be so rude.

[StellaKatherine]

The natural red hair is still the most rare hair colour in the world. And we all know how people react to something unusual and unfamiliar. Put red head and green eyes ( other rare ) and they would call a person a witch. There is the most weird saying out there as well " redheads don't go to heaven" . I had my hair hennaed as a teenager and I think it looked good. Wish I would be brave enough to color again :D

[brickworld13]

I've got fading henndigo with some wild streaks and roots showing. People are not kind. I've got blue-black, Burgandy, orange, white, and ashy brown. Every single color causes some comment about something. I try to ignore them.

[katielea]

I didn't read the whole thread, sorry if someone already said this. First of all if any man ever asks you if the rug matches the drapes you should say "Of course I dye my pubes. Don't be an idiot." and walk away. If you're in a bar, you should slap his drink out of his hand, too.
Also if you henna your hair, you could always answer "No, it's not chemically treated."

[brooke_kawaii]

It's bullies feeling like they are entitled to your personal life. When if fact they are not. If I were you, I'd probably just give them the 'you are a dumbass' look and walk away. d:

[sumidha]

I think "A lady never tells." with a slight smile would be a good, polite way to defuse the question without answering it. That being said, if they're being rudely persistent, there is no reason at all for you to not be rude back, it really is no one's business.

You are not here to decorate anyone's world, especially creepy douchey guys at work. Why do they care so much about your hair, and why do they feel entitled to have any opinion about it, let alone share it with you? Why should you care what it is? Under the circumstances I don't think those would be rude questions to ask at all.

[Nadine <3]

I have never dyed my hair and I've had people insist that it had to have been dyed. My hair isn't even a crazy color so I really don't understand....

[fiðrildi]

Put red head and green eyes ( other rare ) and they would call a person a witch.

Oh, I had never heard about this. Good to know, that if I henna my hair, I will be a witch! Because I love magical creatures :)

[animetor7]

My dad and brother insist that I dye my hair red. The thing is I only do a light henna gloss about once a year and there is no line of demarcation because my hair is naturally auburn anyhow. So yes, the henna probably brings out the red in my hair, but I henna my hair for the thickness and strength it gives it. If it did dramatically change my hair color, there would certainly be a line of demarcation. I do get sun-bleaching, which also reddens my hair, but no harsh line of "this is dyed" and "this is not" or anything. And also why does it matter? You should do what you want with your appearance.

[veryhairyfairy]

I get this so often, and I'm sick to death of people asking if the henna is my natural color!

The thing is, a lot of times I think it's complimentary because the person asking wants to know if it's possible for someone to naturally have such a cool color. So when it's a woman I tend to just say "I wish; it's henna!" because maybe she wants to be a redhead.

I was giving the same response to random dudes, as well, but last week I was asked so many times by so many dudes that I'm just fed up now! I do think it's a gross 'carpet/drapes' thing a lot of times when males ask if red is my natural color. It makes me feel kind of used in a way, like they're getting their jollies. :shudder:

So anyway, the new plan for men is either a withering look or something like "none of your business", "I don't talk to strangers", etc.

I'd almost rather just dispel their fantasy with a 'no', but I'm sick of engaging these random strangers on something that is none of their business.

[truepeacenik]

FWIW, I am a natural redhead (and I henna, too) and my eyebrows are not naturally red. They are light brown. Not every natural redhead is red...um...all over.

And all over is a rainbow of reds. I also have more auburn eyebrows. So, I keep pit and leg fuzz. Pits are more auburnish, legs and what they really want to know are bright orangey red.
Because I'm going to the effort of dyeing leg hair. uh-huh.

Also, we born reds are not all from Ireland/Scotland/Wales/England.
Jewish with French, Italian, Spanish on one side, somewhere in Central to Eastern Europe on the other, according to adoption survey.

[maborosi]

I get this so often, and I'm sick to death of people asking if the henna is my natural color!

The thing is, a lot of times I think it's complimentary because the person asking wants to know if it's possible for someone to naturally have such a cool color. So when it's a woman I tend to just say "I wish; it's henna!" because maybe she wants to be a redhead.

I was giving the same response to random dudes, as well, but last week I was asked so many times by so many dudes that I'm just fed up now! I do think it's a gross 'carpet/drapes' thing a lot of times when males ask if red is my natural color. It makes me feel kind of used in a way, like they're getting their jollies. :shudder:

So anyway, the new plan for men is either a withering look or something like "none of your business", "I don't talk to strangers", etc.

I'd almost rather just dispel their fantasy with a 'no', but I'm sick of engaging these random strangers on something that is none of their business.

Yeah women are almost always awesome about hearing about hair dyeing techniques.

I think it's that the weirdo guys that get mad have some sort of redhair ****** and they're mad because their illusion was shattered.

Unfortunately, I'm not usually in a position to be outright rude or dismissive- I put up with incredible amounts of BS from people that normally people would not have to tolerate. Alas, such is my life.