Compulsive choppers/bleachers support thread

[Of the Fae]

Hey all :)

If a similar thread is already here, please excuse me!
I wanted to make a support thread for all of you here with compulsive cutting tendencies. I've seen quite a few people struggling with this including myself.

You have nice long hair, you almost reach your goal, and then... you get bored and cut it all off, only to regret it a week later and feel horrible about your short hair for months. This can repeat itself every few months or year or so.

(example: I've been doing this for years and had held it up for a long long time until I caved and chopped off all of my MBL hair into a mohawkish pixie..*shame*)

The same goes for messing it up with bleach or chemical dyes. Haha so yeah.. here's to supporting one another and preventing the later regretted cut/dye job and help each other reach the wanted milestones!

Post here if you are about to cut/dye and suspect that you will regret it hugely, or you just want to vent.


Of the Fae

[lapushka]

I found that pre-BSL length, I couldn't manage to control myself on the experimenting (dye, bleach, henna, whathaveyou). Once I got past BSL, that all magically stopped. It was just getting past that stage, past a certain stage. I had a bad dye incident (chemical cut, chemical burn etc.) that made me see the "error of my ways", and since then I grew it back out and I've been in the longer lengths.

[makeminea99]

With me, it's been the dye, and swinging back and forth between fringe/ no fringe. SO frustrating. Why can't I just leave my hair alone?

[longhairdreamin]

OMG! THIS is sooooo me!!!! I am within an inch or two of the longest I've managed to get since childhood... I am sticking to it this time! I have to be capable of some kind of self control, right? ;)

[molljo]

Thank you for starting this! I've spoken several times about my compulsive stress cutting. It really doesn't help that I look so good in pixies, because all it takes is one bad day, off goes my hair, and the compliments start rolling in. No one in my real life (except my bf) seems to understand that chopping it off is bad for me and my mental state. Joining LHC has helped me hugely, but I'm getting worried because I'm due for a trim. I've spoken at length about my fear and distrust of salons, but I also don't trust myself to cut it either. I'm genuinely distressed about how many people here champion trimming at home, because that's such a slippery slope for me. I don't want to throw away all the work I've been putting in, all the staying strong during the awkward stages could go out the window :(

[snuflan]

Wow I really belong in this thread! I'm now at pixie length because I thought it would be nice to have short hair again. Wrong. And now I'm also growing out my virgin hair so my hair is a mix of blonde/orange/ashy mess with mousy roots. Yay! I need to keep myself from cutting or dyeing it, but it's sooo hard now that it looks.. so terrible! I think I need a hug haha..

[kganihanova]

Heeeeeeello! I am constantly in a chop-grow-layer-hate layer- chop- grow.............hate layer cycle. Hoping to break it this time.

[ErinLeigh]

I am an compulsive chopper. Anything that feels less than silky is gone.
Anything that looks fried or straggly is gone.

My problem is I am very harsh when judging my hair. A lot could have been salvaged with proper care.
I always assume since I bleach the hair is "bad" and needs removed.

[ErinLeigh]

Heeeeeeello! I am constantly in a chop-grow-layer-hate layer- chop- grow.............hate layer cycle. Hoping to break it this time.

So true. Hoping to change this.
Layers are my Achilles heel.

[spidermom]

I used to do that. I'd decide to grow it out, then decide "it's been 2 WHOLE YEARS (from pixie), and it's not long yet. It's obviously not growing (although it was probably just past shoulder length by then), so I'm cutting it. Take that stubborn hair!"

I didn't acquire the patience to let it keep growing until I was in my mid-40s.

[Stormynights]

When you are unhappy the easiest thing to change about yourself is your hair. When I was working I would often make someone wait a couple of weeks before making a radical change. Most of the time they changed their mind and thanked me later.

If the urge to chop or color hits mark your calendar and wait the two weeks. You may thank yourself later..

[blue_eyes]

I belong here haha, I was a compulsive dyer. I have been dying to have long hair all my life, and yet was obsessed with dyeing. I'd dye it black and then want blonde, try to go blonde and when it was yellow/orange I'd dye it black again. I did this over and over again. Then my hair, thanks to the bleach, did not hold the dark dye well in some areas so it became patchy. So what did I do? Dyed it several times more of course!

I did manage to grow my hair to waist length, through some miracle considering what I'd done. Then I attempted the black to blonde thing one more time, and of course it didn't work again, and I ended up having to get my hair cut to just above APL. So my dyeing inevitably led to cutting & I'm back where I started :brickwall
Anyway, I'm about 8 months dye free now! Trying to keep away from the dye and just let my hair grow, but it isn't easy!

[MadeiraD]

I got a lot of it out of my system when I was younger, occasionally I've wanted to go blonde (as I've never been blonde) but I'm really pretty attached to my hair at this point.

I used to get the urge to get layers, but they make my ends look SO thin. Now I'm mostly just prone to bangs now and then.

I still dye my hair, but I'm a LOT gentler about it and I don't change the color, just keep it the same jet black.

[shuttlebug]

I'm trying to grow out my layers right now. The problem is that awkward in-between stage - too long for bangs and too short to put up. I hate it when my hair gets in my eyes, especially when riding on the back of my husband's motorcycle. Right now my bangs are just past my nose, which is the longest they've been in over a year. I'll be so glad when I can pull it all back into a ponytail!

[blace]

I am a nearly fully reformed compulsive chopper/bleacher/dyer. I am going on a year now without dying or bleaching but lately have felt the urge (slightly) returning. I started coloring at a very young age and as a result have had nearly every color under the sun. I've recently realized that none looked so good as my natural does now.

The urge to chop honestly feels like something that I have fully put behind me. It's hard to see how much progress I've made and then think about cutting. Even my self trims get me anxious now.

[ositarosita]

This is me RIGHT NOW .. so I have hidden my scissors, section clips, and combs . Then started a personal 25 month no scissor challenge. I figure in 25 months without access to scissors I should be where I was supposed to be over a year ago

[Tia2010]

I'm not a 'chopper' but I am a compulsive end trimmer lol

I just love the feel of fresh cut blunt ends.. My hair always feels and looks so nice after :)

I doubt I'll ever change. :)

[Leslieslsa]

I used to have issues with dying. My hair is tailbone now but started out in a guy cut almost five years ago. So my ends are a little layered because they hair on top of my head was further away than the hair on bottom. I chopped it off so many times because of how bad I damaged it. Then I would want it to not be damaged anymore so I would chop all of it off. Now I don't have bangs or any of that stuff and no longer EVER feel a need to chop it or dye it. My suggestion is when you feel like chopping it, look at pictures of really long hair for inspiration!!

[Of the Fae]

Haha wow so many replies!
I know for me the two week rule can be in effect and I still regret it. Mostly I cut it because of brushing difficulties (my hair is fine and tangly as hell), or because I feel that I will never achieve gorgeous hair ever anyway so I may as well cut it.
If I look at pictures of how it was before the cut I can hardly imagine why I thought it looked so damaged, because it was gorgeous.
I recognize the harsh judgement thing :P

I have had every color there is , too. I even regret cutting my mullet a month or two back because it was the only real length I had... :3



A good method to fix wanting to cut it for me has been putting it up and making it seem kinda long :P With scarves and hairsticks that I can just about hold with the longest parts. Looking at my past pics I know I at least cán achieve long hair, because a year ago was the first time in my life it was ever really long. As a kid my mom used to cut it because it tangled too much, so it's a life long dream but I'm also not confident about my ability to achieve it. It seems so impossible.

[ErinLeigh]

I found that pre-BSL length, I couldn't manage to control myself on the experimenting (dye, bleach, henna, whathaveyou). Once I got past BSL, that all magically stopped. It was just getting past that stage, past a certain stage. I had a bad dye incident (chemical cut, chemical burn etc.) that made me see the "error of my ways", and since then I grew it back out and I've been in the longer lengths.

I can totally see that happening. Hitting a stage where the length and texture finally seem to agree so a sense of acceptance finally forms.
I am hoping I find that myself.

I think my biggest issue is I generally love the feel of a fresh haircut. I love how nice everything lays after a good cut. I like the feeling of a new beginning and a new style to switch up my look. I love how a perfect color job just brightens my whole face.

Sigh..see, It's hard for me not to cut and color. I love it. What I hate is the stress, the mistakes, the regret when it goes wrong. I hate calculating the length I "would be at" had I not cut. I will check in here everytime I feel a strong urge to chop.

[Auburndreaming]

I used to be very much into dying my hair - all the time, i'd often bleach parts of the front and dye them red, or even my whole head, and then revert to dying back to black again, but I havent dyed my hair in about 5 months now because I just don't want to do it all anymore, and I actually do like my own colour, its just daunting to grow it out, but over the past 5 months I can walk down hair dye isles in shops and not even get the craving to dye my hair! (However I do dye my mums hair for her so maybe that helps to get that feeling out of my system)

I think it's different for everybody but we all have our own time when we just decide nope, not doing it anymore, haha - I used to keep cutting a fringe into my hair a lot also, but i've not done that for a while either, although when I see somebody else with a short blunt cut fringe, I do get very tempted!

[ErinLeigh]

Haha wow so many replies!
I know for me the two week rule can be in effect and I still regret it. Mostly I cut it because of brushing difficulties (my hair is fine and tangly as hell), or because I feel that I will never achieve gorgeous hair ever anyway so I may as well cut it.
If I look at pictures of how it was before the cut I can hardly imagine why I thought it looked so damaged, because it was gorgeous.
I recognize the harsh judgement thing :P

I have had every color there is , too. I even regret cutting my mullet a month or two back because it was the only real length I had... :3



A good method to fix wanting to cut it for me has been putting it up and making it seem kinda long :P With scarves and hairsticks that I can just about hold with the longest parts. Looking at my past pics I know I at least cán achieve long hair, because a year ago was the first time in my life it was ever really long. As a kid my mom used to cut it because it tangled too much, so it's a life long dream but I'm also not confident about my ability to achieve it. It seems so impossible.

I understand your post completely.
From your pictures your hair seems to grow strong and fast. You WILL have what you want! You grew it before. This time just keep looking for what your love about it and not what you hate. I know you will though. You seem to have hit a stage of acceptance where you realize it is lovely and deserves to be flaunted. And it is lovely. You are very beautiful and will look fantastic thru all stages of growth. You can actually start enjoying it now and as a bonus just know it will just get better and better each month.

Even though we go thru cutting regret, I think you will look back someday and be glad you took a chance and tried new looks. It takes courage to step outside the box.

[Of the Fae]

Naww ErinLeigh that is so kind of you <3 :)
You are right, and I must say that being able to put it up again has really helped me feel good about it. Since I stopped cones and SLS my hair is also in fantastic condition :)
Which in turn helps to ward off cutting urges.

I think your hair looks amazing now btw, so incredibly healthy and shiny! No need to chop at all

[SkyChild]

I managed to not dye or cut my hair for 6 months, only to realise that I'd been buying different coloured boxes of hair dye and hoarding them. I had 6 different shades! I'd obviously got as far as buying the box before going "No no really shouldn't dye"
My fingers get itchy though when I think about it, and I want to chop a bit, bleach and then put some colour through

[Rosetta]

I've never been a compulsive chopper (quite the contrary), but I am kind of a hair dye addict... Then again I don't usually regret dyeing my hair, especailly after I learned about coconut oil preventing damage, so I guess I don't really belong here :p
(Though I do seem to have a somewhat compulsive need to buy hair dyes whenever I spot a bargain, especially off ebay ;))



I managed to not dye or cut my hair for 6 months, only to realise that I'd been buying different coloured boxes of hair dye and hoarding them. I had 6 different shades!
If you think that's a lot, you should see my hoard... :oops:

[CremeTron]

After bleaching a large part of the front of my hair today I need to join this thread. I already bleached a few streaks in (3) the past 4 weeks. I reasoned they were only small but today I thought what the hell I want my white streak at the front to be larger so I grabbed a 2 inch section and bleached it for an hour. Rinsed it and it was still too yellow so put more bleach on. I am proud of myself that it is only 2 inches though as I said I would do a centimetre to avoid ruining my whole hair again. I didn't stick to it but have not gone too wild.

Thankfully I have resisted "trimming" as I have REALLY been wanting to. My ends are a mess. Thankfully I found Emi's microtrimming method so I will try that as have been considering chopping about 4 inches and my hair is not very long to begin with so yes I would have remorse!

Anyway hello! I am here and no more bleaching for me..