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bunnylake
April 6th, 2014, 03:31 PM
My stepdaughter is 12 years old and she's been annoyed with her hair lately. It's 2B, APL, and THICK. She also has bangs, which curl up, but her mother blow dries them straight sometimes. She's considering growing them out so she won't have to worry about styling them anymore. She gets huge knots that I use my tangle teezer go get out. Her hair is very different than mine so I'm not sure what advice to give her, and I don't think her mother does either. Her mother looks to have the same hair type but it always looks very frizzy.
I thought maybe getting layers would help with the massive knots, and/or a slippy conditioner?
Any help would be appreciated :) thanks

Kina
April 6th, 2014, 03:46 PM
I'd go with CO and finger detangling, with maybe a weekly detangling of the whole thing. Light oiling on the length, ears down only and some gel so that it doesn't frizz.

molljo
April 6th, 2014, 03:51 PM
I'd say she should absolutely be using a rich, slippy conditioner, and she should also only detangle in the shower while her hair is drenched in conditioner. I think going CO or perhaps CWC would give her not only better tangle management, but also reduce some frizz problems. I would also suggest looking into CG. For lots of wavies, CG is a nice place to start in terms of learning how to treat waves, though from what I understand most of us end up modifying it in some way (myself included). I also think reading through the Wavy and Wurly thread will help you get a lot of good ideas. Good luck! If she can learn how to treat her waves with care at 12, she'll be lightyears ahead of her peers.

DweamGoiL
April 6th, 2014, 03:57 PM
Kinky Kurly Knot Today for detangling. It is a godsend. I use it on my daughter as well. I also recommend CO. I like Suave better for her hair rather than VO5, which I didn't find as thick. The Suave seems to be a bit more moisturizing also. She likes the Ocean Breeze one because of the scent. My daughter's hair is 3c/f/iii. After she's out of the shower, I oil her ends lightly with Monoi Oil and then apply a light coat of a mix of gel and a creamy leave in I keep premixed for her.

Madora
April 6th, 2014, 04:56 PM
Could you braid your step daughter's hair and thus keep the tangle issue more or less under control? Does she know how to braid herself?

If she prefers to wear her hair down and loose, then encourage her to detangle it gently every so often. Most importantly, don't wait until evening to try and deal with the tangles!

ArtThistle
April 6th, 2014, 05:44 PM
Could you braid your step daughter's hair and thus keep the tangle issue more or less under control? Does she know how to braid herself?

If she prefers to wear her hair down and loose, then encourage her to detangle it gently every so often. Most importantly, don't wait until evening to try and deal with the tangles!



Pretty much what I was going to say. When I was a kidlet, my mom would tie my hair in a high ponytail after brushing it. It made me nuts because the loose hair from the tail would tangle. Braids saved my hair. It's super easy and quick to do a full-hair side braid (like Elsa in Frozen). If she prefers her hair loose, make sure she detangles on a regular basis. I know from experience that matted hair is brutal to try to deal with. Regular combing, especially with a slippery condition, can be a hair-saver.

MadeiraD
April 6th, 2014, 05:46 PM
i third the braiding (it kept my hair in great condition as a kid) I'd also show her some pretty princess-y updos if she's into that sort of thing (braided buns and all) and teach her to do them

Sharysa
April 6th, 2014, 06:17 PM
Again, echoing the braids. Game of Thrones styled braids are going to be fabulously she's a medieval fan, since the styles are literally hairstyles that princesses and ladies wear, but make sure she doesn't watch or read the series for at least three or four more years. NOT child-friendly.

Although as a thick-haired person myself, I'd advise against buns and more for crown-braid type styles. Crown braids, milkmaid braids, and headband braids are all fun.

Also, shampooing just the scalp and conditioning the length (nape or ears down) is a great technique for tangly hair. Oiling helps reduce tangles in my hair and lock in moisture as well, since wavy hair is often prone to drying out. Not sure if a twelve year old would have the patience for waiting for oil to dry, though.

Edit: I meant "fabulous IF she's a medieval fan," silly iPhone.

Laccaria
April 6th, 2014, 07:53 PM
It's really awesome that you want to help your stepdaughter work with her hair. I wish I had that when I was 12. Would have saved me years of poofy, frizzy headed hair grief. My mother never even uses conditioner on her hair (she keeps it quite short), and she has never seen why my sister or I should either. It took years and years for us to independently realize that we didn't just need it, we needed lots and lots of it!

I second (or fifth or something) the idea of detangling with conditioner in her hair and just more conditioner in general. CO, CWC, WCC or even just your original idea of a more slippy conditioner than she is currently using. My thick, poofy hair loves heavy conditioners full of oils and silicones. My sister needs something a bit lighter weight for her wavy but fine hair. We both got terribly matted knots in our hair as kids. We both find that using enough of the right conditioner/leave-in makes detangling ridiculously, insanely easier. Total game changer.

I'd experiment with adding more/different/slippier conditioner first, but your stepdaughter might also want to think about cutting layers and/or growing her hair a bit longer. Blunt-cut, thick, wavy, APL hair is often subject to the "pyramid hair" phenomenon where the hair just gets wider and wider from the top down. I've seen people rock this and look fabulous, but it's not particularly mainstream fashionable. http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/haircuts/avoiding-the-pyramid/

I am not sure that cutting layers would help with tangling issue, but well cut layers might very well make her happier with the look of her hair. The problem is that a lot of hair stylists seem to treat wavy hair as straight hair and cutting it that way can actually be worse then a blunt cut. http://www.curlynikki.com/2009/10/curl-whisperer-on-layers-vs-blunt-cuts.html Counter intuitively, somewhat longer hair can also be easier with wavy hair because it starts to tame itself under it's own weight. It seems like a lot of wavies have a sweet spot length-wise where their waves are a bit tamed, but not completely flattened by the weight of their hair.

For me tons of conditioner, a nice leave-in, the right layers and the right length make me actually like my hair.

bunnylake
April 6th, 2014, 08:49 PM
Thanks for all the suggestions. I do braid her hair for her, but she doesn't have the patience to get the hang of doing it herself yet! I will inform her on the CG method and help her pick out a good conditioner. I only see her a couple nights a week and every other weekend.

My husband was knighted with a Philly cheese steak by George RR Martin in the 90's and there is a minor character named after him, "Green Gerg". We have a poem George wrote on our bulletin board for my husbands son when he was born. I'm married to an old-school fan. ;)
Seriously. Knighted with a Philly cheese steak. I'm not kidding. They were drunk.