Chemical straightening, go for it?

[Nix]

Before I get into my little dilemma, let me share with you a little background.

Ever since I can remember, I have always had poofy, uncontrollable hair. I guess I classify it as curly but there are barely any curls. It is just poofy with lots and lots and lots of frizz. Kinda like this, but the scalp is sometimes oily so it is a little flatter
http://blog.ivman.com/wp-content/BadHairDayFriz.jpg
http://info.studiorksalon.com/Portals/42964/images/creepy.jpg
I don't know why it is like this, but like I said it has been this way my entire life (can someone be born with damaged hair?!)

I have tried many, many things/products/methods over the years (Curly Girl, oils, no-poo/CO, CWC,etc) but nothing can tame my hair. It is made even worse by the humidity in the topical climate where I am temporarily located. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out that a chemical straightening in town can be done extremely cheap. The hairdressers that do it here are pretty experienced since they have done it to hundreds of heads of hair (almost every single girl/woman I know here has had it done at least once).

So, should I get this chemical straightening done?

The risk is the damage that I hear can come from these chemicals. I don't know what kind of straightening it is (Brazilian blowout, Japanese straightening, etc), but from what I have been told it is the kind that wears off after 8-12 months (not that kind where it has to grow out). But I just want a few months in my life where I actually like and can handle my hair!:eek: But at the same time, I don't know how these chemicals affect hair like mine (I know some people who've had it done, but they already had kinda straight-ish hair and none like my hair type [an Asian friend and a Caucasian friend. I am mixed race. Don't know what mix. Was adopted])

So, I want to know if anyone else here with my kind of poofy, frizzy hair has ever done chemical straightening and how did it turn out?

UPDATE:

Hello, all! Thanks so much for all the replies. Below is a picture of my terrible mane so people can help me classify. I haven't tried to classify seriously because it is just frizz and where is the frizz category (a "5a"? haha). In the pic it is a little wet, so curls are present. But in a short while, curls disappear and there is just a frizzy wad of hair that cannot be tamed.


As I mentioned, I already did things like CG. Tried it for 5 1/2-6 months and hair showed little difference. Can't recall specific products, but I did try silicone free and then also ones with silicone.

I will admit that I am fonder of straighter hair. The few times that I have ever blow dryed it, I absolutely loved how it looked, thus my excitement over chemical straightening. Very curly hair (even with no frizz) looks awful on me. I know people will say that I have to learn to love what I have, but you have to admit, it is very hard to love this kind of frizz-ball, poofy, bad hair! :eek:

[Nix]

Oh and I forgot to say that I have totally virgin hair. Never dyed or flat-ironed or anything. I blowdry it maybe once a year.

[pinchbeck]

No, I wouldn't go for it. Your hair type is what sets you apart from many of the similar and straightened hair types out there. Be unique don't damage your hair. The longer your hair type gets the cooler it looks when brushed out. I admire how your hair type has so much volume without the aid of styling and it is definitely a head turner.

[Madora]

I wouldn't recommend chemical straightening either. To help with the frizz situation, you might want to investigate using mineral oil (baby oil). More info here: http://ktanihairsense.blogspot.ca/2012/10/the-skinny-details-on-mineral-oil-baby.html

[Crumpet]

Its hard to tell what your hair looks like without photos of your hair. Maybe someone here could help you figure out something to care for your hair in a way that works for you? I always thought I had 'bad hair' until I came here. I realized I had wavy hair that I was treating as straight my entire life. Oops! It sounds like you know your hair options better than I did, but its still worthwhile exploring gentler treatments than chemical straightening.

Also, I agree that its nice to have your own unique hair rather than conform to a type...but that's just a matter of opinion and you should do what makes you happy in the end.

[sumidha]

Worst case scenario, you fry your hair, have to cut it, and it grows back. If you're ok with risking that, then go for it. :)

It sounds like you've done your homework on different curly routines, but just in case, have you read through www.tightlycurly.com?

[jeanniet]

If your hair is like that in the picture, you definitely have curly hair. There is really no such thing as poofy, frizzy hair, just curly hair that's not treated right--the picture isn't showing naturally hair, but hair that's been brushed. I know you said you've tried Curly Girl, but can you give a rundown of exactly what you did and what products you used, and how long you tried it? You really should have seen at least some improvement, so it may have been that the products you were using were the problem, or something else.

I don't recommend chemical straightening because 1) it uses chemicals; 2) it uses heat (flat iron) to bond the chemicals to your hair, so is highly damaging; 3) for many people the results don't last very long. Personally, I think it's better to just flat iron, and that's probably going to be quite damaging over time.

Is it possible for you to post a hair typing picture for us? You have your type listed as 2a/b, and there's no way that can be right, based on what you've said. I'm guessing you're more like 3b/c, or possibly even into the 4s. Wash your hair with shampoo (it's OK to condition it, but don't use leave in), and let it air dry without touching or combing, and take the picture. It's probably OK to take the picture before it's completely dry, because your curl pattern is likely pretty strong. Then we can go from there.

ETA: Forgot to say that the damage from chemical straightening does need to grow out. Sometimes there is no damage, but I'd have to say that of all the accounts I've read, at least half had some level of damage, some significant. I'd also be really leery if it's that cheap. That may mean they're using formulations that are much less safe, both for you and the stylist.

[molljo]

Yes, please do a hair typing photo for us so we can get an accurate read on your hair. The pictures you posted were brushed out or otherwise manipulated hair. What tools are you using to detangle, and when do you do it? My hair is the same as you've said yours is, and I can't get near a brush or it'll make my hair awful awful awful. I also need way more moisture than I thought should be possible. But yes, before we suggest anything, we need to see your actual hair.

[spidermom]

Straightened hair looks really weird when the curly roots show.

[lapushka]

Try going "curly girl". It sounds like you're doing the wrong things for the hair you have.

Also, try and post a picture of your hair when it's been shampood, conditioned (and untouched, no brush, no comb). That way we can ascertain your hairtype and have a look at how "bad" it is.

[spidermom]

Try going "curly girl". It sounds like you're doing the wrong things for the hair you have.

Also, try and post a picture of your hair when it's been shampood, conditioned (and untouched, no brush, no comb). That way we can ascertain your hairtype and have a look at how "bad" it is.

Yes - do this.

[ravenreed]

If you don't mind potentially having to cut your hair fairly short to deal with damage down the road, then I would say go for it. I would suggest that you try some other routines first. If your hair is just poofy, I am guessing that you are a curly who hasn't yet figured out a good routine. If it is actually growing out like damaged hair, then I would suggest checking in with a doctor to make certain there isn't a health reason for what you are dealing with.

[ositarosita]

you sound like a curly with THIRSTY curls ... frizz is just the hair trying to grab moisture from the air (IMO). try another method, try curly girl but give them a good go. Not a week and it doesn't work but MONTHS.. it takes time to see results from your hair just like it takes time to see results from a change in diet on your body

If you want you can PM me and I can tell you what I've done to turn my frizzy poofy q- tip hair into spirals

[Weewah]

Are you touching, combing, messing with your hair while it's still wet after you get out of the shower? If so, stop doing that, detangle your hair when it's covered in a really moisturizing conditioner, rinse it out, add your leave in then don't touch it until it's completely dry. Don't rough it up with a towel either, just gently blot upwards with the towel, air dry or use the diffuser.

Once you acquire damage from the straightening, your hair's going to be even more difficult to deal with, so your e gonna wanna straighten again, then you'll be in an endless cycle of straightening your brittle broken hair, and you'll probably end up having to cut it shorter and shorter :(

[Unicorn]

I've read of people using the curly girl method, seeing changes [i.e curl definition still increasing] months into using the method. How long did you try it for? Your hair also looks like naturally curly hair to me.

Unicorn

[Number 3]

I've done keratin http://www.amazon.com/KERATIN-TREATMENT-CURE-FORMALDEHYDE-FREE/dp/B004DQJ99A
at the salon.
Frizz did go, curls loosened up a little.
Now after about 10 month it's gone, actually it fades month by month, after 5 months my hair started to return frizzy.

Will I do it again? No.
Why? I try to avoid chemicals as much as possible. I stopped hair dyes to avoid my skin absorbing the chemicals, same thing for keratin, it touches the scalp, which is something I don't like!

Before you do it, try henna. I'm doing it now, starting this month with an application every week, then next month doing it twice a week, and later continuing with once a month treatment. I did one application for 12 hours (lol I over slept) and the result (health wise) were a lot better than applying it for just 4-6 hours.
I noticed loosened curls, almost no frizz on the first day. Today I washed my hair with shampoo to remove the henna from yesterdays application. My hair is soft, brushed it and noticed some frizz, but not my usual.

BTW my hair looks exactly like the second picture you posted (when brushed before starting henna) As for the CO method, it didn't work for me conditioner makes my hair more frizzier. I'm using yogurt/oils as a conditioner.

[Ruzovy]

Your hair sounds exactly like mine did while I was growing up and well into my late teens/early twenties. And, like you, I tried EVERYTHING to try to tame it and keep it DOWN.
Nothing worked until I found the "magic" of the flat iron. Then I noticed my hair drying out and breaking off, the hair at my temples thinning out (I feared I might be going bald!) so I stopped it and left it alone for a while. It, of course, went back to its classic poofiness.

And then I found LHC. Mind you, since being here I've tried a bunch of different things, some worked, some didn't, and it took months for me to see any results at all.
I have to say the most helpful tip to start with was to properly type my hair so I could read information pertaining to my own hair type and have a better idea of how to handle it. Which is to handle it as little as possible, much like I assume is your case. My hair hates being brushed, unless I'm about to braid it or put it up, it poofs; though not nearly as badly as it used to, I suspect it's a combination of more length/weight and more moisture (coconut oil, how do I love you...) plus the fact I've more or less found a decent routine. I've also noticed a great improvement in texture/poofiness since I've started wearing my hair up/braided everyday. :D

Sorry about the rant, but my point is, don't go ruining your hair, you will regret it, trust me, like someone above me has already said, curly roots after a chemical straightening look awful, and you would most likely not cut it or bear with it for the years it would take to grow out and break, and go do it again and again and get trapped in this cycle. Your hair is still relatively short (APL? I never know with inches lol), meaning it has a lot more curl than it will when it's BSL+ for example, so for now I would try to take a typing picture (wash it, no touching of any kind while it dries down your back etc) and we will advise you on what to do. One thing LHC isn't short on is eager, helpful folks :)

[jeanniet]

I've done keratin http://www.amazon.com/KERATIN-TREATMENT-CURE-FORMALDEHYDE-FREE/dp/B004DQJ99A
at the salon.
Frizz did go, curls loosened up a little.
Now after about 10 month it's gone, actually it fades month by month, after 5 months my hair started to return frizzy.

Will I do it again? No.
Why? I try to avoid chemicals as much as possible. I stopped hair dyes to avoid my skin absorbing the chemicals, same thing for keratin, it touches the scalp, which is something I don't like!

Before you do it, try henna. I'm doing it now, starting this month with an application every week, then next month doing it twice a week, and later continuing with once a month treatment. I did one application for 12 hours (lol I over slept) and the result (health wise) were a lot better than applying it for just 4-6 hours.
I noticed loosened curls, almost no frizz on the first day. Today I washed my hair with shampoo to remove the henna from yesterdays application. My hair is soft, brushed it and noticed some frizz, but not my usual.

BTW my hair looks exactly like the second picture you posted (when brushed before starting henna) As for the CO method, it didn't work for me conditioner makes my hair more frizzier. I'm using yogurt/oils as a conditioner.

Henna is permanent; it can't be removed with shampoo. Are you sure you're using henna (henna colors the hair orange/red)?

[legendya]

I know how it is to have super frizzy hair. It's super tough and it seems like you can't do much with it. I've straightened my hair with relaxers and Japanese straightening in the past. It seems fine for awhile, but then I start losing alot of hair. I used to have thick hair, but now my hair is thin. Imagine being a teen and having your hair so thin that you see your scalp. That was me and it is still very thin now. I Wouldn't try it if I were you. It's not worth the potential damage.

[CurlyCap]

Lol. Both of your pictures look just a bit like this:

http://i.imgur.com/O9q5Fhn.jpg?1

THAT is the hair I grew up with because I didn't know how to take care of curly hair.

Take it from someone who's been there and romanced the chemical straightening: You just haven't figured out how to take care of your hair. LHC is full of hair-obsessed people happy to help you figure out a regimen. Let us help?

(And take it from me, if you don't like your hair "frizzy", you're not going to like it frizzy, broken from chemical damage, with curly roots and awkward thinning. The salon can't fix it once it happens.)

[Crumpet]

Such a cute photo CurlyCap! And wow, your hair looks so different now.

I met a girl yesterday who had a chemical straightening and she said she still has to flat iron it a lot...actually, more than she used to because the texture is a bit of a mess now. She's not planning on getting it chemically straightened again. I thought of this thread while I was speaking to her so thought I'd pass it on.

[ExpectoPatronum]

Like others have said...if you're fine with having to grow and cut off damage later on, go for it!

Otherwise, I really recommend giving the CG method another try, but maybe with different products and for a longer time.

I did it and for the first few weeks, my hair looked AWFUL. Worse than it did before I started. But then, my hair got it's act together and I had the most lovely curls. Full on CG method leaves me with 3a curls in most of my hair. I had to stop due to shedding though. But seriously, CG worked some magic on my frizzy hair and so I know it could work some magic on yours if you stick with it long enough.

Other things you can try:
-Detangling hair in the shower and then not touching it while it dries.
-Plopping
-Finger combing immediately out the shower and then scrunching products in.
-Dutch or French braiding (or bunning) when hair is damp.
-If you're not afraid of damage, diffusing hair on a warm or cool setting.
-Putting hair into twists when wet and letting them dry.

These things should help encourage some curl/wave and diminish some frizziness. For me, I've learned that trying to 'straighten' my hair by combing when wet is what causes some of my frizziness. My hair likes to at least be wavy, so I let it be.

[Unicorn]

CurlyCap, thats the cutest picture! Goodness, the CG method has made such a difference.

Unicorn

[jeanniet]

That's an adorable picture! But your hair does look much better now. ;)

[chen bao jun]

Curly Cap, you really are pretty. I love looking at your photos. You didn't even look bad with frizzy hair.
For the OP, curly girl may not work as well if you have tighter curls (you are definitely a curly of some kind). Someone else suggested tightlycurly.com, a modification of that worked for me when curlygirl hadn't.
I strongly suggest not doing the chemical straightening. It can be really, really bad. Bad like, you rise up from the chair bald and patchy, so there's not even a choice, as you would have if you had to get your hair cut short because of curly roots. If you are a curly and especially if you are a fine-haired curly (which is very possible), your hair is not as strong as your Japanese friend's and you had better not try what she can get away. I used to chemically straighten and got away with it in the sense that I still had hair (and actually, still had frizz) but my mom is one of those who had her (beautiful) hair fried off and literally had bald spots that she is lucky to have got rid of.

[Number 3]

Henna is permanent; it can't be removed with shampoo. Are you sure you're using henna (henna colors the hair orange/red)? Yes, Henna. I meant by "removing it by shampoo", is washing it with shampoo. Because the first day I rinsed it with water only and applied yogurt and combed in the shower, but still my scalp wasn't clean, so the next day I shampooed it to remove the henna leftover powder from my scalp. Hope this makes it clear.

[Nix]

Hey all! Updated main post with pics and more info.

Can anyone help me type it and what to try next? I am still thinking about chemical straightening as an option, though a last one

[veryhairyfairy]

Hey all! Updated main post with pics and more info.

Can anyone help me type it and what to try next? I am still thinking about chemical straightening as an option, though a last one

Well I'll leave the advice to the curlies who really know what they're talking about... but dang, lady, what awesome texture! I have ALWAYS wanted to discover that I have curls, and yours are already gorgeous even without the 'proper' curly care! :crush: (I didn't even see the frizz, as I am also maybe a 5a in the frizz category so I think yours looks normal lol :lol: )

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck in learning to love your hair however you can (even if that means you change the texture)! :flower:

[LongHairLesbian]

Count me in as a CurlyCap fangirl; I always get a bit excited when I see your posts, CC, because I get hopeful that we will be treated to another photo for your amazing curls! :P

I know it's easy for a straight-y to say, but I don't think you have bad looking hair at all! I'm actually a bit envious of girls that have big, curly, voluminous hair. You see frizz and poof, I see texture and volume. I mention this because you seem pretty down about having curls in general, even if they are defined, non-frizzy ones, and you covet the look of straight hair. You don't have bad hair, no one does; but you are focusing on achieving something you can't have, at least not without serious damage to your hair. Perspective is everything, because some straight haired girls aren't happy with their texture either! Sometimes I get out of bed and I look at my hair in the mirror and I see boring, flat, volume-less hair. I think about how styles don't hold well, how quickly grease and build up coat my hair and weigh it down, how it looks the same every day, every wash. I see girls with big, thick, bouncy curls or waves and think why can't I have some of that? But at the end of the day, my serious wavy/curly envy is useless and only gets me down, because I will never have what they have. I only have what I have, and I need to be okay with it, because it's the only kind of hair I've got. There is a wonderful curly/coily community on LHC (as you can probably tell from this thread alone), lots of people with hair very similar to yours that have tested lots of methods for dealing with curly hair. PM them, let them help you. Your hair is beautiful in its own way; I love your rich colour, and the nice curl definition you get at the bottom, looks like Pinterest hair! :P

[Marron]

I would use the straightening method.
I know people try to be kind by saying you have nice hair and should leave it as it is. But you've had your hair for so long and you're not happy with it. You tried several methods and none of them worked.
Why not try it?
Because it's not "natural"?
I too have curly hair and tried several times to get to "like" it. I just don't. Nothing feels better than looking in the mirror and seeing nice straightened hair. My curls are always "ok", or "endurable". But I'm never happy with them.

So my advice would be to give this method a try if you want straight hair so much.
What use is virgin hair if you're never happy with it and hide it in a bun?

[spidermom]

Not so terrible. If you haven't tried combing a gel or curl crème through it, then leaving it alone - try that. Bringing out the curl while taming the frizz would maximize the natural beauty of your hair, I think.
Also, there's combing conditioner through in the shower and then running gelled palms over the surface of your hair to discourage frizz from popping out all over. Styling waxes or pomades can help, too. A little bit goes a long way with this.

Chemical straightening is a temporary solution to a permanent problem. The roots are still going to be curly, and the longer they get, the weirder your hair will look. If you go for another chemical straightening at that time, you're going to start accumulating a lot of damage.

Of course Marron has a point. If you're already tried everything and still hate the curly hair, then change it. You have every right to do so, and sometimes the best way to learn to love what you have naturally is trying to maintain something that is not natural. Or not - maybe straightening won't be as much a chore to you as it was to me (using the flat iron). I couldn't bear the damage! It turned my ends to Velcro.

[Kina]

Before I get into my little dilemma, let me share with you a little background.

Ever since I can remember, I have always had poofy, uncontrollable hair. I guess I classify it as curly but there are barely any curls. It is just poofy with lots and lots and lots of frizz. Kinda like this, but the scalp is sometimes oily so it is a little flatter
http://blog.ivman.com/wp-content/BadHairDayFriz.jpg
http://info.studiorksalon.com/Portals/42964/images/creepy.jpg
I don't know why it is like this, but like I said it has been this way my entire life (can someone be born with damaged hair?!)

I have tried many, many things/products/methods over the years (Curly Girl, oils, no-poo/CO, CWC,etc) but nothing can tame my hair. It is made even worse by the humidity in the topical climate where I am temporarily located. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out that a chemical straightening in town can be done extremely cheap. The hairdressers that do it here are pretty experienced since they have done it to hundreds of heads of hair (almost every single girl/woman I know here has had it done at least once).

So, should I get this chemical straightening done?

The risk is the damage that I hear can come from these chemicals. I don't know what kind of straightening it is (Brazilian blowout, Japanese straightening, etc), but from what I have been told it is the kind that wears off after 8-12 months (not that kind where it has to grow out). But I just want a few months in my life where I actually like and can handle my hair!:eek: But at the same time, I don't know how these chemicals affect hair like mine (I know some people who've had it done, but they already had kinda straight-ish hair and none like my hair type [an Asian friend and a Caucasian friend. I am mixed race. Don't know what mix. Was adopted])

So, I want to know if anyone else here with my kind of poofy, frizzy hair has ever done chemical straightening and how did it turn out?

UPDATE:

Hello, all! Thanks so much for all the replies. Below is a picture of my terrible mane so people can help me classify. I haven't tried to classify seriously because it is just frizz and where is the frizz category (a "5a"? haha). In the pic it is a little wet, so curls are present. But in a short while, curls disappear and there is just a frizzy wad of hair that cannot be tamed.

http://oi60.tinypic.com/14mt2mt.jpghttp://oi60.tinypic.com/2vnhndc.jpg

As I mentioned, I already did things like CG. Tried it for 5 1/2-6 months and hair showed little difference. Can't recall specific products, but I did try silicone free and then also ones with silicone.

I will admit that I am fonder of straighter hair. The few times that I have ever blow dryed it, I absolutely loved how it looked, thus my excitement over chemical straightening. Very curly hair (even with no frizz) looks awful on me. I know people will say that I have to learn to love what I have, but you have to admit, it is very hard to love this kind of frizz-ball, poofy, bad hair! :eek:


looks like my hair with no product.

[Kina]

I'm the opposite of you, once I realized that my hair wanted to curl and stopped trying to make it look like something it wasn't (straight), I got a handle on caring for it.

But it's your head, your hair. If yo u*really* want to straighten it, go for it, but research how to manage chemically damaged hair.

If you decide to keep it curly, there is a ton of information out there. What was most helpful to me was to stop washing my hair every day and to stop combing it. I condition and finger comb. I put my hair up to dry because I hate the feel of wet hair on my neck, that also encourages the curl. Recently, i've been experimenting with techniques to apply product (in this case, more conditioner as a leave in, almond oil and hair gel) and my hair is steadily becoming curlier and less frizzy.

I have the kind of frizz that reaches across bus aisles to say hello to people in the next row, I feel ya on the frizz bit. Straintening my hair made it so much worse for me.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you! although I'm hoping you come to the curly side, we have cookies!

[umbrellabones]

I think you should keep trying to find a routine that works with your hair type, but marron has a point too. Hopefully though if you can get your curls happy you will be happy with them:)

also, veryhairyfairy your signature is hilarious. :D

[CurlyCap]

Pictures are so helpful!

Curly tips:
1. It looks like you brush your hair or comb it in such a way that you break up the clumps. Could you try washing it with conditioner, combing it in the shower, rinsing...then letting it dry without touching it? It's going to take FOREVER to dry, but it's the best way to see how your hair will dry with minimal manipulation. If you really must use product, apply the product while you're in the shower and your hair is sopping wet. Just run your hands over (not THROUGH) your wet hair. My guess is your curls will be instantly more defined. Specific products and application styles can come much later.

Straightening:
I'd vote henna. Honestly. You're hair is dark enough that the red really won't show, and henna knocks most of the curl out of a lot of people's hair. Your hair isn't so curly that it will absolutely resist the power of henna, so I think it's pretty likely you'll get significant straightening. Better yet, it won't cause chemical damage. After 2-3 applications, I think you could probably get your hair down to slightly-wavy/straight. It you must have straightened hair, henna is, IMO, a safer long-term option than chemical straightening.

Edited to add: I think you're being super hard on yourself about your hair. It's not poofy or bad. It's not even frizzy because most of your length clumps. You just have some frizz or strays near the canopy....and that happens with all curlies who don't actively take steps to manage that area. Another way to think about it is that you are a curly whose hair grows DOWN and not OUT. So you can actually get pretty mainstream hair easily if that's your goal.

[Unicorn]

I would use the straightening method.
I know people try to be kind by saying you have nice hair and should leave it as it is. But you've had your hair for so long and you're not happy with it. You tried several methods and none of them worked.
Why not try it?
Because it's not "natural"?
I too have curly hair and tried several times to get to "like" it. I just don't. Nothing feels better than looking in the mirror and seeing nice straightened hair. My curls are always "ok", or "endurable". But I'm never happy with them.

So my advice would be to give this method a try if you want straight hair so much.
What use is virgin hair if you're never happy with it and hide it in a bun?

Maybe people aren't being 'kind', but actually love curly hair :shrug: I love OP's hair.

OP; Perhaps CurlyCap's suggestions will take care of the frizz and enhance the curl? Maybe you could try out some of the none chemical solutions before going with the chemical solution, you may find one you're happy with. I used to chemically straighten my hair and it does result in a fair amount of damage, even with my resilient hair.

Unicorn

[Nix]

Pictures are so helpful!

Curly tips:
1. It looks like you brush your hair or comb it in such a way that you break up the clumps. Could you try washing it with conditioner, combing it in the shower, rinsing...then letting it dry without touching it? It's going to take FOREVER to dry, but it's the best way to see how your hair will dry with minimal manipulation. If you really must use product, apply the product while you're in the shower and your hair is sopping wet. Just run your hands over (not THROUGH) your wet hair. My guess is your curls will be instantly more defined. Specific products and application styles can come much later.

Straightening:
I'd vote henna. Honestly. You're hair is dark enough that the red really won't show, and henna knocks most of the curl out of a lot of people's hair. Your hair isn't so curly that it will absolutely resist the power of henna, so I think it's pretty likely you'll get significant straightening. Better yet, it won't cause chemical damage. After 2-3 applications, I think you could probably get your hair down to slightly-wavy/straight. It you must have straightened hair, henna is, IMO, a safer long-term option than chemical straightening.

Edited to add: I think you're being super hard on yourself about your hair. It's not poofy or bad. It's not even frizzy because most of your length clumps. You just have some frizz or strays near the canopy....and that happens with all curlies who don't actively take steps to manage that area. Another way to think about it is that you are a curly whose hair grows DOWN and not OUT. So you can actually get pretty mainstream hair easily if that's your goal.

Thanks for all the advice! Maybe I will try henna. The chemical straightening is scaring me since I think my hair is too weak and prone to lots of damage for such strong chemicals :(

What hair type do you think I fall under? 3a?

[Nix]

Maybe people aren't being 'kind', but actually love curly hair :shrug: I love OP's hair.

OP; Perhaps CurlyCap's suggestions will take care of the frizz and enhance the curl? Maybe you could try out some of the none chemical solutions before going with the chemical solution, you may find one you're happy with. I used to chemically straighten my hair and it does result in a fair amount of damage, even with my resilient hair.

Unicorn

Thanks for all the hair compliments from you and others! I am still not very interested in managing curls, but loosening them/getting rid of them. It isn't that I hate curly hair, I just hate it on me. :)

[Unicorn]

Thanks for all the hair compliments from you and others! I am still not very interested in managing curls, but loosening them/getting rid of them. It isn't that I hate curly hair, I just hate it on me. :)

Sorry Nix, my post was all over the place.

My first point was that you have lovely hair, hair that many people really love, so any compliments can be taken to be sincere, no 'kindness' is required.

As a separate point, I think CurlyCap, has some good ideas to tame your frizz, into curls or waves depending on your hair and the henna would then relax those curls or waves so you hair is closer to what you're looking for.

Taking it a step further... At this point, you'll have a better idea of how your de-frizzed hair behaves and hair wrapping may work to get the texture you're looking for, without having to use chemicals with the accompanying damage.

I suspect it would help to be done in steps (I can't say I know for sure), as taming the fizz and getting the hair fully moisturized (one of the things that the curly girl method works at) would make a difference to the impact that hair wrapping has on your hair.

Hair Wrapping

Amusingly I googled and found this this thread about hair wrapping,

Belly dance forum (http://www.bhuz.com/belly-dance-beauty-costuming/43484-hair-wrapping-straight-hair-without-using-heat-tools.html)

...which then had a link to this tutorial!

Hair Wrapping (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=37395)

It's a method for straightening hair without heat or chemicals. It's a method also used by black women, so if it can relax rather tight curls, while retaining body.

If you patience is on par with mine, you could just try out the wrap method at this point, then decide if you want to work on the other steps to optimise the wrapping effects.

Unicorn

[durgidog]

I have the kind of frizz that reaches across bus aisles to say hello to people in the next row, I feel ya on the frizz bit.

So funny! I had that type of frizz until modified CG and henna.

I second trying henna, it really knocked out my frizz and also made my greys less wiry so they blend in better with the rest of my hair texture. Because your hair is so dark you will likely only notice the henna red glow in the sun. My head has had many full applications of henna over the years and while my wave has only loosened a little, overall my hair is much smoother and I rarely have frizz even in 60%+ humidity which is common where I live.

[Marron]

Maybe people aren't being 'kind', but actually love curly hair :shrug: I love OP's hair.

OP; Perhaps CurlyCap's suggestions will take care of the frizz and enhance the curl? Maybe you could try out some of the none chemical solutions before going with the chemical solution, you may find one you're happy with. I used to chemically straighten my hair and it does result in a fair amount of damage, even with my resilient hair.

Unicorn

I wasn't saying that her hair was bad and people were only being polite. Or at least I didn't mean it. What I was trying to say is that here are a lot of people who would always choose natural hair over modified hair, regardless of the actual hair pattern or colour. There is some kind of a "going natural" wave going on in the hair forums and people are hardly told that they should change their natural hair. "Embrace what you have, it suits you the most" seems to be the slogan, that was what I meant be saying "they try to be kind". Because it is kind to say that what you have is wonderful. On the other side it's not really a compliment when someone tells you that you should change hair hair because it doesn't look good/ best on you.

[Beborani]

My feelings on this--hair is the one thing you can mess around with without impacting your health so you should play around if you really want to and get it out of your system. So it gets damaged eventually but she will have a different hair type for a short period of time and can always grow it back. I agree with marron that hair forums like this have a culture of embracing the natural which is good for a lot of people who are tired of prevaling trends but not helpful for OP.

[Unicorn]

@Marron, understood. Sorry, I guess I misinterpreted your meaning. Also my post was somewhat garbled. I hope my follow up post was somewhat clearer.

Unicorn

[Nix]

Sorry Nix, my post was all over the place.

My first point was that you have lovely hair, hair that many people really love, so any compliments can be taken to be sincere, no 'kindness' is required.

As a separate point, I think CurlyCap, has some good ideas to tame your frizz, into curls or waves depending on your hair and the henna would then relax those curls or waves so you hair is closer to what you're looking for.

Taking it a step further... At this point, you'll have a better idea of how your de-frizzed hair behaves and hair wrapping may work to get the texture you're looking for, without having to use chemicals with the accompanying damage.

I suspect it would help to be done in steps (I can't say I know for sure), as taming the fizz and getting the hair fully moisturized (one of the things that the curly girl method works at) would make a difference to the impact that hair wrapping has on your hair.

Hair Wrapping

Amusingly I googled and found this this thread about hair wrapping,

Belly dance forum (http://www.bhuz.com/belly-dance-beauty-costuming/43484-hair-wrapping-straight-hair-without-using-heat-tools.html)

...which then had a link to this tutorial!

Hair Wrapping (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=37395)

It's a method for straightening hair without heat or chemicals. It's a method also used by black women, so if it can relax rather tight curls, while retaining body.

If you patience is on par with mine, you could just try out the wrap method at this point, then decide if you want to work on the other steps to optimise the wrapping effects.

Unicorn

Thanks! I will try this!

[Nix]

So funny! I had that type of frizz until modified CG and henna.

I second trying henna, it really knocked out my frizz and also made my greys less wiry so they blend in better with the rest of my hair texture. Because your hair is so dark you will likely only notice the henna red glow in the sun. My head has had many full applications of henna over the years and while my wave has only loosened a little, overall my hair is much smoother and I rarely have frizz even in 60%+ humidity which is common where I live.

Wow, 60% humidity?! :eek: Getting sold on henna!

[Hedera]

Count me in as a CurlyCap fangirl; I always get a bit excited when I see your posts, CC, because I get hopeful that we will be treated to another photo for your amazing curls! :P

I know it's easy for a straight-y to say, but I don't think you have bad looking hair at all! I'm actually a bit envious of girls that have big, curly, voluminous hair. You see frizz and poof, I see texture and volume. I mention this because you seem pretty down about having curls in general, even if they are defined, non-frizzy ones, and you covet the look of straight hair. You don't have bad hair, no one does; but you are focusing on achieving something you can't have, at least not without serious damage to your hair. Perspective is everything, because some straight haired girls aren't happy with their texture either! Sometimes I get out of bed and I look at my hair in the mirror and I see boring, flat, volume-less hair. I think about how styles don't hold well, how quickly grease and build up coat my hair and weigh it down, how it looks the same every day, every wash. I see girls with big, thick, bouncy curls or waves and think why can't I have some of that? But at the end of the day, my serious wavy/curly envy is useless and only gets me down, because I will never have what they have. I only have what I have, and I need to be okay with it, because it's the only kind of hair I've got. There is a wonderful curly/coily community on LHC (as you can probably tell from this thread alone), lots of people with hair very similar to yours that have tested lots of methods for dealing with curly hair. PM them, let them help you. Your hair is beautiful in its own way; I love your rich colour, and the nice curl definition you get at the bottom, looks like Pinterest hair! :P

This, exactly.

What I would give to trade my hair for yours!

I like straight hair - I just don't like straight hair on me. ;)

But I've learned (ok, I am learning...) to embrace my natural hair and make it look the best it possibly can simply because all the 'unnatural' strategies end up being a lot of work, ineffective, and leave my hair looking much worse.

I can try and have curls but that would mean damage, breakage, brittle and horrible feeling hair, with odd and unnatural looking regrowth... So instead I am trying to get the healthiest, best straight hair I can.

Over the years I have been here, I have seen the most amazing transformations especially for people with curly hair, once they embraced the curls and found out exactly what makes their hair happy.
Healthy, happy hair that gets cared for in a way that is appropriate for the hairtype tends to be the most beautiful hair!

Once you've figured out a ballpark for your hairtype, you can do a search here for people with the same hairtype and see what they do and use, and what their hair can look like.