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View Full Version : At my wits end! :( So discouraged.



ChristineB
March 26th, 2014, 11:33 AM
I'd literally be willing to paypal someone who can help me figure out my problem. I'm beyond frustrated with my hair! :(


First, a few things about my hair...I have very THICK strands, and a lot of density. My hair is slightly coarse, but quite shiny and fairly soft. It comes down to my lower back, almost hip length.

My biggest problem, which has been present more than ever lately...FRIZZ. Completely out of control. And split ends. It doesn't matter how much oil I put in it. Within a couple minutes of being down, it frizzes out and looks like a big humid mess, even though the humidity level right now is quite low. That combined with oil just makes my hair look awful (every seen greasy frizz?) It's not dull by any means, it's actually very shiny. But it looks like I stuck my finger in a socket!!

I don't brush my hair since that makes it worse.

I CO-wash, and try to clarify with a vinegar rinse once a month (which just makes my hair feel dry). Really the only way I can stand having my hair right now is in a braid or updo, because I just feel so ugly when it's down because it's so poofed out all along the length.


I can't tell if my hair needs protein, or moisture, or both...just so confused as I have been trying EVERYTHING. Coconut oil doesn't work. Jojoba doesn't work. Olive oil doesn't work. Nothing makes it smooth out.

Help? :(

LunaLuvsU
March 26th, 2014, 11:45 AM
I use to deal with frizz/fly aways as well. Things to check are how much water you drink and what your diet is made up of. No matter how much external moisture you add to your hair if you arent drinking enough water it will still be dry. Your hair is made up of proteins but only some hair likes protein treatments (my hair LOVES it). Hair growth is a secondary function so it you are only taking in the minimum of vitamins and minerals your hair wont get much of it because your body uses the "left over" for your hair and nails. Its also good to take in the things that help build proteins. I recommend this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLqIsDZD5b0 (Magnesium helps with fly-aways btw ^^)

tigereye
March 26th, 2014, 12:17 PM
It's hard to really tell without seeing it properly, and it's braided in your avatar picture. The first things I want to ask is how are you using your oil (leave-in, deep treatment or pre-wash), are you using cones or cone-free, do you use any other leave-ins or rinses, do you S&D, when was the last time you trimmed, how often do you wash your hair, and how often/when do you comb it?
If you gently pull two ends of a 3" section of a shed hair does it break immediately, stretch loads before snapping or somewhere in the middle (like stretch an inch or so, then snap)?
Do you drink plenty of water and do you humidify your house (my worst frizz/dry/breakable hair culprit - a super dry environment).

Just a few questions really to try and understand what's going on here.

TrapperCreekD
March 26th, 2014, 12:22 PM
This problem appeared suddenly/got worse recently? Even though you say your hair is shiny and not dull, I think you're in need of a clarifying wash. My hair gets greasy, dry, and super frizzy when I need to clarify. ACV doesn't actually clarify hair, it has some mild chelating agents that will discourage future mineral deposits. To clarify your hair, get a clarifying shampoo, or any sulfate shampoo if you're strictly CO washing; you can also use baking soda diluted in shampoo or plain BS. If you do use BS, make sure to follow up with an ACV rinse to restore the ph, and deep condition because clarifying can be drying.

You say you CO wash, does your conditioner contain cones by any chance? I'm not familiar with Toronto weather but maybe your hair doesn't like cones this time of year? Also, if you're not already using them, you may want to look into leave ins and some gel (I personally recommend flax seed gel) for definition and keeping the frizz at bay.

Nope
March 26th, 2014, 12:29 PM
Lack of protein can cause frizz, but too much protein can also cause frizz. I would try clarifying with an actual clarifying shampoo. Also, if you're cone free, try cones. If you're on cones, try cone free. I also find that mixing some conditioner with baby food banana helps with my frizz. Also, dry with a t shirt instead of a towel and try not to touch it while it's drying. I don't know anything about your hair, but I'm just throwing out some general tips that COULD help.

SleepyTangles
March 26th, 2014, 12:38 PM
I'm sorry to hear you feel discouraged :(... are you sure you aren't curlier than you think you are? Sometimes frizz is the sign of a curl pattern messed by external factor.
My hair was really frizzy too. Cassia then henna were the things that helped me most, I hope you can find the solution.

By the way... frizzy hair doesn't always look bad as media portrays. I prefer some frizz than those thin strands beaten into submission with flat iron and hairspray.

Nadine <3
March 26th, 2014, 12:49 PM
Maybe you're curlier than you think?

ravenreed
March 26th, 2014, 01:16 PM
I was thinking this as well. Also, does your conditioner have humectants? Perhaps it is pulling moisture out of the air and adding to your frizz?


Maybe you're curlier than you think?

chen bao jun
March 26th, 2014, 01:40 PM
Yes, check the dew point. This winter its very low even much further south and its probably what's making you frizz. any humectants, as pointed out above, would make this worse. I've been doing lots of SMTS without the aloe vera and honey (basically, conditioner and oil such as avocado or olive), keeping the hair up and waiting for spring. and satin capping below my hat.
I always check the dew point when my hair starts to frizz, its amazingwhat an an effect that has.

catasa
March 26th, 2014, 01:49 PM
I agree with the others, try a clarifying shampoo and maybe also one that chelates (removes hard water minerals). You could try to not add any conditioner or anything to your hair after this wash and just let it air dry with minimal touching, just to try to diagnose your hair without any products to get a hint on what might be wrong (you can always re-wet it and add conditioner afterwards if needed). Is it soft/strawlike/shiny/dull/tangle-prone/curly/stretchy etc? As mentioned, too much protein may cause frizz, but also too little protein/overmoisturized hair may cause it.

I had really frizzy, messy hair after a long time on CO-washing (which I had done without ever clarifying :rolleyes:), and when I started to wash with diluted shampoo and skip conditioner completely, just using a few drops of mineral oil as leave in instead, my hair got so much nicer! It has stayed good on that routine for more than a year now, but now I actually feel that I may need to start add some more moisturizing products again.

Hope you find something out, good luck! :blossom:

melusine963
March 26th, 2014, 02:17 PM
Yes, check the dew point. This winter its very low even much further south and its probably what's making you frizz. any humectants, as pointed out above, would make this worse. I've been doing lots of SMTS without the aloe vera and honey (basically, conditioner and oil such as avocado or olive), keeping the hair up and waiting for spring. and satin capping below my hat.
I always check the dew point when my hair starts to frizz, its amazingwhat an an effect that has.

Not to hijack this thread or anything, but how do you check dew points? Is there a scale, or is it more a case of using your best judgement to guess humidity levels?

jeanniet
March 26th, 2014, 03:11 PM
Accuweather lists dew points. Here's an article that explains them: http://www.curlynikki.com/2010/06/summer-curls-understanding-dew-points.html, but if you google "hair and dewpoint" more articles will come up. Our dews are high now because of rain and warmth and you should see my hair!

I agree about clarifying, and possibly chelating if you live in a hard water area--you need to clarify with shampoo, not ACV. ACV will remove some surface deposits, but not enough. I would also start using leave in, as well as CO. It sounds like you need more moisture in your hair.

As far as diet and hydration go, of course a good diet and being well-hydrated are positive things, but will only affect future growth and not the hair that is already on your head. That hair can only be improved by what you put on it.

Anje
March 26th, 2014, 03:50 PM
Can we get names (and possibly ingredients lists) of the products you're using? It might help with the suggestions (though every product will have some people who love it and some who can't stand it).

melusine963
March 26th, 2014, 06:10 PM
Accuweather lists dew points. Here's an article that explains them: http://www.curlynikki.com/2010/06/summer-curls-understanding-dew-points.html, but if you google "hair and dewpoint" more articles will come up.

Thank you, jeanniet!

alexis917
March 26th, 2014, 06:27 PM
1. What products do you use on your hair? Is your conditioner coney? Do you use anything else?

2. How often do you wash your hair?

3. With your hair being coarse, you might get that rough, wiry feeling instead of splits. When was your last trim?

4. Could it be mechanical damage, if your hair's up often? Are you using hair-friendly accessories?

5. Do you have hard or soft water?

It sounds like there are a lot of variables you haven't taken into consideration. But, my first impression was you're probably just curlier than you think.

Consider trying the Curly Girl method for a week or two, and see if you have any improvement.

lapushka
March 26th, 2014, 06:30 PM
For your frizz issues, you might want to look into the LOC method for styling:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=118167

ErinLeigh
March 26th, 2014, 06:52 PM
Frizz is a porosity issue. Hair is absorbing too much water from the atmosphere. It is also from brushing out waves but I will focus mostly on the porosity part since I am not sure how you style hair.
The only thing you can do is work to correct porosity. A good leave in then seal. I know you do not like oils but they can work. In using oils for frizz you have to use them based on what they can do. Coconut would be overnight soaks because they can penetrate and help control high porosity. For day use it is all about sealing. Coconut in the right amount can help there too but if it is too heavy reach for sealing oils or cones. Used lightly (2 drops) on damp hair shouldn't leave you with icky hair, just smoother. I like jojoba for sealing. Cones work also. Once hair is dry a drop or oil or coney serum rubbed into hands and then smoothed over hair will keep the frizz away but not look greasy or heavy. For me that is hemp oil. It varies per head of hair. The hope is there is enough moisture sealed in the hair that it will not take in much additional. Then moisture in general. Add good conditioners to your routine. A moisture based and a keratin based help me. I use both because i am a frizz ball. Good conditioners that allow hair to retain it's moisture help so much. If it is at the right balance it will take in less from atmosphere because it has what it need. You already cowash. Do you use any other deep conditioners weekly? What do you cowash with? I find EDEN Cleansing Conditioner has the perfect amount of conditioning agents, keratin and shea butter to combat frizz.

You want hydrolyzed keratin. Used in a leave in keratin tend to help smooth the hair and make it appear less frizzy. The keratin treatments are an extreme way to do that but you can get daily results just by simply adding keratin based products to you routine. Just make sure to keep adding that moisture with them. The right amount of protein can help hair hold moisture actually. They work together in that sense.

Closing the cuticle with vinegar rinses or using conditioners such a Roux porosity control conditioner for final step help a little there also. You mentioned vinegar is drying. Maybe citric acid would work better? Sometimes you just have to play around with things to find what works. Amount also factors in. That needs time to sort out also.

I think the LOC method would help your hair type a lot. Have you tried it? Leave in, oil, creme? Do you wear hair wavy/curly or fight it? Working with natural texture and not brushing out the potential waves and curls can help a lot.

Avoid touching hair until it is fully dry. I find damp bunning then releasing when dry keep my frizz away better than simply air drying. ( I actually blow dry to avoid frizz but when vacationing or staying home, damp bunning does control my frizz really well. If my cut was better I would air dry always. My hair just need styled and only a blow dryer can it right now)

I wish I could think of something else. I have products I love for frizz but I know that it is so individual that it won't matter if it works for me or now.
I hope you find what you need. Frizz really does suck. I have battled it for a long time and it is only just now getting better after learning my hair needed more moisture. It was a lot drier than I realized.

Firefox7275
March 26th, 2014, 06:55 PM
Curly Girl method. Conditioner, conditioner, conditioner. Try using penetrating oils as deep treatments on damaged/ porous ends only. Vinegar is chelating (remove mineral deposits from hard water) not clarifying (remove product build up).

Kimberly
March 26th, 2014, 07:17 PM
I've had good luck lately taming frizz using Nightblooming's Panacea. It's really easy to overdo, but if I get just the right amount it is magical.