unexpected salon regret... kinda

[EvelynMay]

so I just got my hair trimmed, I do this every 7-9 months. It used to be that I got anxiety because my hair always felt "short" afterwards and I would be unhappy until 2-4 months after the haircut when my hair had grown more. I realized I didn't need to take that much off at a time, I would get 3 inches off and sometimes 4 if I waited an entire year (which occasionally happened). So I've since stuck to getting 2 inches off each trim and no more, and this seems to be great! My hair NEEDS trims because the ends get quite unkempt looking. I also get light layers. Anyways, sticking to 2 inches has lowered my anxiety greatly the last few haircuts because the difference is less. So, like I said I get layers, that is why I go to a salon, because I just don't think I could ever achieve that myself.

So, since my last trim which was about 9 months ago, I've been babying my hair way more. I already hadn't used hair curlers or even hair dryers for YEARS, don't dye it or use product. But Ive really stepped it up since reading this site and other places about how to grow and keep long hair. I bought a wide tooth comb and always took great care to comb out tangles gently, got sulfate free shampoo, used oils, continued to use no heat... babied it WAY more than I ever have in my life. And I've noticed a great difference! Anyways, I've always noticed that hair stylists are kind of rough on hair when they comb and blow dry, but I've always had the mindset of "oh well, it's just once a year basically." But... this was before I super babied my hair... well, I TOTALYL noticed it a lot more this time :( Mainly just by comparison to my own more gentle routine since last seeing he. She actually isn't extremely rough, just a couple of pulls when blow drying, but it takes her like TEN MINUTES to blow dry my hair... and using the brush over and over again on each section... and then with my hair dry taking a wide tooth comb and combing form the top of my head down through a tangle... I literally cringed. I suddenly felt like why do I go to a salon again?! Oh yeah, this dang layers that I love so much... I would totally trim at home if I didn't want layers. So, I feel like she completely undid all the work I did the last 9 months being gentle with my hair :( I mean, it looks nice now, but I don't know.

I realized that going to a salon to get a trim and freshening up of layers maybe isn't the bad part, but I probably shouldn't have let her blow dry my hair... I didn't think of that, mainly because the first few times I saw her I wanted to see what it looked like to make sure she did a good job and therefore let her blow dry it "one time can't hurt' mentality but now I've gone to her quite a few times, and I definitely should have told her to leave it wet and leave :( Soooo much heat and soooooo much brushing and some pulling :( I know I can do that next time, but I just feel like all the hard work I put in the last 9 months was just undid, I really should have not let her blow dry and brush the crap out of it THIS time. Why are stylists so rough, even the more gentle ones like mine are still pretty rough and heat happy! So, I'm kind of feeling regret right now and feel sad about "starting over." Sigh. What can I do to make myself feel better?! or my hair... I wasn't expecting to feel like this, especially since I don't have any "too short" feelings anymore that I got the right amount inches routine down pat.

[MeowScat]

When I used to go to the salon (over 4 years ago) I learned to wash and de-tangle my hair before I went there and I stopped having them blow dry and add products to my hair. All I got was a trim, I was in and outta there really fast. It saved money, time and damage.

Now, give your hair a deep treatment, like an SMT. Wear it up everyday and night and keep your hands off of it. It'll make you and your hair feel so much better. And stop kicking yourself, you learned a very valuable lesson, which is an awesome thing! :)

[Nope]

I so feel your pain. Salon visits are a cringe-fest for me, but I just don't trust myself to cut my hair. I never let them blow dry it, though. And I should learn to not let them wash or comb it either. :P

[spidermom]

Haha; recently I've relaxed on that sort of thing. I even allow my stylist to flat iron a time or two a year.

However, I've been at this long hair lifestyle for years and have really become annoyed with the "treat hair like antique lace" philosophy. I wouldn't be draping antique lace over my head and taking it everywhere with me.

[Kina]

I haven't been to a hair dresser in quite some time. Mine is awesome and very respectful, but very expensive. The last few times I went, I didn't let her comb my hair. I do it myself, although I did allow her to blow dry it since it takes me so long.

i think your original mindset is probably the most logical. Unless you relaxed or permed your hair, one time with heat is not going to kill it. Enjoy your fresh cut and maybe resolve to comb it out yourself next time.

[YamaMaya]

There are ways to get layers yourself, I know that apparently the compact cutting method does this, there's also some tutorials on how to do long layers on youtube.

[lapushka]

There are ways to get layers yourself, I know that apparently the compact cutting method does this, there's also some tutorials on how to do long layers on youtube.

Yep. Research it a bit. There's two methods. Either putting a ponytail on the top of your head and snipping a bit off to give you longer layers, or putting a ponytail on the top of your forehead for short layers.

Still. Now you know for maybe next time when you go to the salon. You can also get it blowdried without it getting styled with a round brush, probably.

[EvelynMay]

see, I've never even self trimmed ever before, not even all one length. So I feel like I'd need to conquer that first before doing more intricate things like layers! haha. I had been considered growing out my layers just so I could self trim and not have to pay the money, could take off super little etc but I love my layers so ugh. I'd be super freaked to try cutting my own layers the first time I ever try cutting my own hair! I don't know, thinking about that kinda scares me... Anyways, it almost wasn't even the heat from the blow dryer that was the worst, though it was an excessive amount of time (the few times I do it which is sooooooo rare it literally takes me only 5 minutes to thoroughly dry my nearly waist length hair...) and she'd hold it really close to my hair, it was almost the round brush she was using that seemed worse... pulling and brushing over and over... yeah, I don't know why I didn't think this through this time around.

I mean, you're right, I don't want to get a complex about my hair and I'm betting there are people on here that are way nicer to their hair than me, but I guess I just noticed a difference this time around after being more gentle with combing out my hair the last several months. I remember that going in for my last haircut before this one that I was pretty mortified with how crazy my ends looked. It looked blah. This time before this cut my hair still looked pretty decent, just a little scraggly. So I feel like it's made some difference, and I just can't quite seem to get to waist length hair and I'm so determined!!! I don't know, it's just that the point of getting trims is mainly to make my ends healthier, so when they are so rough I feel like it's totally negating that... boooo. So, definitely next time I'm leaving the salon with wet hair. That not only eliminates the blow drying session that never ends, but also the crazy brushing. I'm definitely going to give some sort of treatment to my hair and that'll probably make me feel better. And I'm betting in like 2 or 3 weeks I won't even be thinking about this anyone. But for now, I shall wallow in my regret.

[Macaroni]

Can you go in with clean dry hair? She can dampen it, if she must, to cut. Then leave.

[EvelynMay]

Can you go in with clean dry hair? She can dampen it, if she must, to cut. Then leave.

I actually don't really mind it to be washed by them, it's more the round brush while blow drying (and the blow dryer itself, of course). But I guess this time around I didn't really need my hair washed, and for the first time she asked me if I wanted a wash (as opposed to just doing it). I said yes because I didn't know if she would just cut my hair dry or what. I don't know, I guess I'm really terrible at making decisions in the moment, it's why I really need to think things through before I do them! I wonder though what she would have used to dampen my hair though had I said no... spray it with water? Or some sort of product? I didn't see any thing that looked like water in a spray bottle... because it did occur to me afterwards of "huh, I just washed my hair yesterday... probably didn't need it washed today. Oh well! Don't want her to cut it dry or spray it with a leave in conditioner or silicone (even though yes, I know the shampoo they use on me probably does have cones. But for some reason doesn't bother me as much as leave ins). Do stylists typically dampen with water or a spray product when you forgo having it washed? It'd be even better if I could use my own shampoo beforehand and not have them use theirs.

[Macaroni]

It's been years since I've been in a salon but I watch https://www.youtube.com/user/theoknoopkapper/videos and he always starts dry and dampens with what I can only assume is water. You can request dampening with water.

[spidermom]

My stylist has a spray bottle with water.

The compact layering method is really-really-really easy. You ought to look it up and at least prepare your hair as though you were going to cut it just to see how your ends look now. My stylist has been cutting my layers, but when I do my hair like I'm going to cut it myself, my layers are very nearly straight across. I could cut it myself without changing it much, but daughter, granddaughter, and I make a date of going to the stylist together every couple of months. The stylist is my daughter's best friend, and we're giving her our support.

[Syaoransbear]

I leave with wet hair so I don't have to worry about any heatstyling business. Also, it's way faster.

[Carolyn]

I'm of the mindset that a couple times a year can't hurt. I love how my hair looks when it's been professionally blow dried and flat ironed. I feel like I deserve that pleasure now and then and my hair doesn't seem to suffer from it. I want to enjoy my hair and not worry about every little thing that might damage it. I used to have layers and wouldn't dream of cutting them myself. That's some I leave to the pros. So I'd say relax, get your beloved layers done and don't worry about the blow drying.

[Valorie]

Haha; recently I've relaxed on that sort of thing. I even allow my stylist to flat iron a time or two a year.

However, I've been at this long hair lifestyle for years and have really become annoyed with the "treat hair like antique lace" philosophy. I wouldn't be draping antique lace over my head and taking it everywhere with me.

I love that, Spidermom. I'm in the same mentality over here :-)

[ositarosita]

I have a few methods I like for layers (long, short, sublte, chunky etc.) it really wasn't worth it for me to go get my hair cut for 75 when I can do it myself. There are many many ways to learn so you don't have to go to the salon to get it done

[HoneyDayTripper]

This was 3 years ago, but I still think of it and shudder. I had nearly waist length, virgin hair. No color, no heat, no damage. I made the mistake while living overseas to get a free hot oil treatment in an Asian salon, and she proceeded to scrub hot oil into my scalp and create a giant bird's nest of tangles, then after shampooing the oil out, went at it with a metal comb and started ripping and ripping while I screamed inside. She didn't get through the tangles, and kind of just stopped and I gave her my coupon and left in tears. I had so much breakage everywhere, although my friends insisted they couldn't tell the difference. Never again. When I'm back in the states I have a trusted stylist who is extremely gentle with untangling. I will only go to her. When I'm overseas (have been for 9 months now) I don't go to any salons. I just let it grow and trim my own ends. If I have to get a trim in an unfamiliar salon, I will explain before I agree to sit down that my hair tangles and breaks extremely easily and I want to untangle it myself. They can even go work with another client while I do it. Stylists seem to be weirded out by this request. Part of why I don't do this anymore.

ETA: *The reason I mentioned that the salon was Asian was that I think she was used to working with much stronger hair than mine-- so that was part of why she was ripping it.

[Addy]

Haha; recently I've relaxed on that sort of thing. I even allow my stylist to flat iron a time or two a year.

However, I've been at this long hair lifestyle for years and have really become annoyed with the "treat hair like antique lace" philosophy. I wouldn't be draping antique lace over my head and taking it everywhere with me.

Yep. Yep. Yep. When I go to a salon, I kinda expect the tugging to comb out a wet head, pulling it straight with a brush and a blow out. It's par for the course in my opinion and always happens unless you are specific and ask not to have them use a brush of blow it out. There have been times when I walk out with a wet head because I couldn't sit through a yanking session because I knew it was coming! That's money off my bill if I use a salon.

I just went to see my stylist today because I've finally found a woman that does what I want and she listens to me. Heck, I had her cut all my hair off when I had my chemical disaster last year. I went from waist to chin length in 5 minutes. I walked in today and she was so surprised at how much my hair has grown out. I even let her blow it out after the trim and went home to wash it and I blew it out again! It's virgin hair. She wants to high light it and add color. I told her no more color after losing all that length. I'm not going to get my panties in a wad over a blow out and a brush unless she is pulling me across the room while doing it.

[lapushka]

I'm not going to get my panties in a wad over a blow out and a brush unless she is pulling me across the room while doing it.

:lol: The way you said it!

[EvelynMay]

yeah, I'm just going to try to forget about it. I mean, it was pretty much the same thing that has happened every time I get my hair cut, and it's never been visibly detrimental to my hair before. I think it's all mental. I keep thinking there is this magical unseen damage, which sounds a bit paranoid haha so I need to chill. I mean, it maybe has done some roughing up to my hair, but I bet with time and some treatment it will be fine. Sigh. I will just remember this for next time! Definitely. I'm going to wait a few days until I will need to wash my hair again and then do an oil treatment. Then I just need to move on! Thanks for letting me vent about it here ladies :) At least I learned a lesson and will decide differently in the future!

[Laurenji]

Don't fret too much! After I found the LHC I got super paranoid about blow drying my hair. Now I figure that once a year can't hurt - heck, I'll even blow it dry myself sometimes after I wash it and it's cold outside. I think it's good to have that initial realization that conventional styling can damage your hair and should be done sparingly for healthy hair, but I think it's just as important to realize that stressing out about your hair doesn't help either. I think it's why a lot of us longhairs who have been doing this for years now end up in the "benign neglect" phase - we get the basics down and then realize the rest doesn't really matter.

[Ambystoma]

yeah, I'm just going to try to forget about it. I mean, it was pretty much the same thing that has happened every time I get my hair cut, and it's never been visibly detrimental to my hair before.

Yep, this is the attitude I have towards a lot of stuff now - I know exactly what I can get away with from past experience and it's not like our hair suddenly becomes more fragile when we join LHC, in fact it's generally the opposite! You could definitely try asking for a dry cut though, especially as it grows longer - I know back when I used to get mine trimmed at a salon I used to skip the wash since by only MBL they had no freaking idea how to handle it in a sink without making a birds nest - he would just use a spray bottle with water and it was easier for everyone and cheaper for me too :)