My sister needs help to grow her hair!!

[Tini'sNewHair]

Hi everyone. My sister (best friend/sister) is ready to have her hair grow again. She is asking for my help and shes given me the permission to get some more advice in here as well :) (Please excuse my English)
This is a bit of info on her hair now:


It gets super puffy/frizzy when dry!
Very split
Fine/fragile/thinned out
She occasionally uses a flat iron
Uses regular anti-dandruff shampoo
Lots of hairspray daily
Super tight ponytails
Washes her hair daily
Her hair has stalled at around waist length for many years and wont grow passed it.
Lots of split ends

This is what I advised her so far:


To experiment with different types of oils until she finds what her hair likes best. My first recomendtaion was coconut oil but she wants to give olive oil a first try because she already has it in the house. She will like to try avocado oil as well. I will have to give her a list of oils to try as the experiments goes to see what works.
To give cones free shampoo and conditioners a go.
To stretch her washes.
To trim at least 2 inches to start with – her length is very very precious to her so we will start slow with this. I told her once we trim, she will also need to do regular S&D’s and by new scissors as well. (She hasn’t had a trim in many many years and her hair has a lot of splits so I feel like this is a needed step to take).
To sleep with her hair either braided, a sleep cap or silk pillow cases.
To by a clarifying shampoo and conditioner.

What else can I recommend? She is asking for a better method to use for taming her extremely frizzy hair because only her heavy duty hairspray works . She is also asking for hairstyles which can be used when wearing a helmet (she rides a push bike daily to work) and for when shes at work because she works around dangerous machinery so her hair must be up at all times. I thought that maybe can do two plats and then use a hair stick to wrap them around when she gets to work?
Thank you so much. Any advice will be greatly appreciated!!! :blossom:

[Theobroma]

Sounds as though you're giving her good advice. I would add: throw away that flat iron. It's probably the single most damaging thing she's doing to her hair and is probably the major culprit in her split ends and stalled growth (I bet her hair is growing, but breaking off at the ends as fast as it can grow out at the roots).

I'd probably start by clarifying and then using a good non-coney conditioner. I say non-coney because if she's going to start oiling, she doesn't want a layer of cones keeping the oil from penetrating her hair. If she finds her ends are tangly, she could try a tiny bit of pure shea butter just on the ends. I have a small amount of residual heat damage on my ends and I find that shea helps them a lot when they want to become grabby.

You don't say anything about her texture, but if her hair is frizzy that might be an indicator that she's wurly or curly, so try air drying to see what comes out. If she has to use heat, a blowdryer on cool -- cool enough to keep your fingers in the airstream -- is reasonably hair-friendly in my experience, but will still cause more frizz than air drying with no interference.

Dandruff shampoo -- does she actually have real dandruff or is her scalp just flaky from too much detergent? I find that soap-based shampoo bars are much gentler on my scalp and make it much less flaky than any shampoo I ever tried.

Very tight ponytails are probably not a good idea. Is she at least using safe, metal-free elastics? Perhaps she could consider replacing them with a Flexi in the right size? The website has sizing information that should help her decide what she needs for a ponytail.

[Theobroma]

Oh... the frizz and styling stuff. I'm betting that the frizz issue will improve a lot once her hair is moisturised enough. Some aloe vera gel or flaxseed gel might help sleek it down when needed. As for styling and the bike helmet -- you seem to be on the right track. I'd go for a single braid for biking, then stick a hairstick horizontally through the root of the braid and wind the braid around. She might need an Amish pin or something like that to secure the end, or it might hold on its own.

[ErinLeigh]

For frizz maybe she can try air drying without combing it at all while drying. OR damp loose bunning, then style after dry.
A very light oiling will help with the frizz also. While damp and again once dry (little goes a long way, talking drops or fingernail scrape amounts) I have that same problem and someone suggested this to me and it seems to be helping.

The rest i will leave to the experts. :)

[queenovnight]

Ah, sounds like the result of using the flat iron, as you've mentioned. Dryness, split ends, thinning hair. The frizz could also just be heat damage as well. When I used an iron, it was the same way, and that didn't change until I stopped using it. If she must style her hair, tell her to try blowing out her hair. Not always, but when she must style it. Also, her hair might not be stalling. I thought my hair stalled for several years.. but it was just breaking off from the heat damage. I just think she needs to cut off a few inches, stop using the iron, pick out a good oil and to just take care of her hair. But I think your giving her pretty good advice already!

[Anje]

The flat iron definitely is a potential culprit, but I'm inclined to suspect that the ponytails aren't doing her any favors. I know I had to completely stop wearing them due to breakage. I went mostly to buns, but I think a braid is a better choice for under a helmet. She could easily bun that to get it out of the way when she gets to work. If she can, don't start with a ponytail for any of it -- that elastic is probably breaking hairs.

Make sure she knows to only wash her scalp area with shampoo most of the time, and that she's using conditioner (since you didn't mention that she currently is).

ETA: Any idea what her hairtype is? Sounds like it might be quite wavy or even curly, which would be contributing to the frizz and poofiness.

[DweamGoiL]

First thing would be to type her hair properly IMO. After that, it sounds like that hair is thirsty. She can buy a good moisture treatment and a protein one for all the damaged ends and alternate between them weekly or so depending on how her hair responds to each. A showercap and a steamy shower is her friend. It won't heal the splits, but it will make them look less 'damaged' and less likely to keep splitting up the strands. If her hair is wavy, aloe gel is nice to apply as a styler, but it will not be the same look as the hairspray so her expectations might have to change slightly or she can buy a styling gel that is light and alcohol free. They are hard to find, but they do make them. Things will fall into place over time, but for now, her main goal should be to get her hair moisturized and damage free so it becomes pliable enough so there is no more breakage.

As far as cones or no cones, etc. that can happen later once her hair has been pampered for a good while. There is plenty of time to experiment with products moving forward.

[Firefox7275]

Most dandruff shampoos are effectively clarifying. What is the medical diagnosis for her scalp complaint? Many natural oils are rich in fatty acids that can worsen certain skin disorders so you need to be careful what you recommend. Olive and avocado are rich in oleic acid which is the irritant in seborrhoeic dermatitis, a barrier disruptor and penetration enhancer.

[meteor]

- Flat irons have to go. Too damaging for almost any hair.

- Daily hairspray is usually quite unnecessary and causes sticky hair that is difficult to detangle, can cause damage and dryness.

- Super-tight ponytails could cause breakage and even lead to traction alopecia, so I would recommend doing low loose ponies with soft elastics with no metal or ditching this style altogether.

- Unless she is trying to fix a scalp condition, she really shouldn't be using an anti-dandruff shampoo all the time. Some people use them "just in case", but they tend to be very drying to hair and possibly disruptive to healthy skin's acid mantle. Gentler shampoos are generally preferred, but then again - she does use lots of hairspray and it can be hard to remove.

- Washing hair every day is usually not the best approach, especially with a harsh shampoo and especially since she's already complaining about dry, splitting ends. Exceptions: greasy hair (not her case) and specific scalp conditions that require frequent removal of oil.

- If she does have a scalp condition (e.g. SD), she shouldn't use olive oil (and many other oils rich in oleic acid) anywhere near her scalp (oils travel relatively easily up and down the hair shaft).

- Since she wears a helmet and then needs to put hair up for work, why not suggest a braid for the bike and putting the same braid up with a stick/fork for work.

- Sleeping on silk/satin or with a silk/satin cap can prevent nighttime damage.

- Only fingers and a very wide-tooth seemless comb for detangling. Possibly no brush. If she does use a brush, it should be a very high-quality BBB that suits her hair type.

- For patch-repair, she should look for hydrolized proteins, coconut oil, ceramides, 18-MEA, peptides, amino-acids. I disagree that she needs to avoid cones. Unless they cause her problems, silicones are great for slip on damaged hair.

- A trim/micro-trim with scheduled S&D sessions is highly recommended, since the split ends are already there.

- Lightly oiling ends, using good leave-ins, catnip can help prevent splits in the future. But cutting out damage (flat irons, hairspray, tight ponies...) is key.

[Tini'sNewHair]

Theobroma - Thank you for all the advice. I already told her to stop the flat iron and she agreed that she will (In fact, she hasn’t used it for a few months now) but she cant stop the excessive use of hair spray everyday which is my main worry right now. Hair spray in my opinion will ruin any chances the oils have at trying to rejuvenate her hair but i dont know what to replace it with. Her hair is REALLY puffy; i have never seen such puffy hair in my life and im not exaggerating! I never thought that her hair might actually have some curl...very interesting!!! I cant find the posts in here about bringing the curls back tho... I will have to search a bit. Her ponytails are at the top of her head so she can still place her helmet on and they are super tight sprayed on with lots of hair spray :( I will let her know about the flexi 8.

Thanks ErinLeigh I told her about adding a bit of oil as well to her frizz and to keep it up. Cant wait for her to start experimenting and see what happens :)

Thank you Anje. I actually dont know her hair type, the little glimpses i caught of it twice since ive known her (she always flat ironed it) is that her hair has extreme puffiness to it. I’ve never seen that before!! I wouldnt know what to do to test if she has any curl - air dry? Her hair is very fine tho and it breaks easily.


Thank you queenovnight Thats exactly what im trying to advice her to do. I belive her hair is very fragile and very easily prone to breakage and the flat iron and hairspray is what did the worst damage.



Thank you DweamGoil I will let her know to hair type first, i forgot about that. I will let her know about the gels as well.

Firefox7275 I havent asked why she washes daily, could be because she uses so much hairspray that she dosnt like going to bed with stiff hair and she wont be able to manage her hair as well in the morning but she did mention that her hair gets oily. I think that she uses antidandruff shampoo as a habit and to prevent dandruff, I doubt she has dandruff but i will ask.

Thanks meteor You said it so well!!! I will have to pass all of that to her :)

[Tini'sNewHair]

Should I get her to do a few experiments to see if her hair has any curl to it? I found the naturallycurly.com website for this.

[Firefox7275]

The pouf could be hidden wave or severe damage or build up (product or minerals from hard water) or some combination. There are gentler styling products than alcohol laden hairspray and switching would reduce the need for harsh daily shampooing.

Might be worth having a microscope hair analysis from Goosefootprints on Etsy but you really need to send clean hair for best results. She can assess condition and curl pattern, see build up and recommend treatments/ ingredients.

I would chelate not just clarify then a really basic intensive conditioning session (lots of fatty alcohols and cationic surfactants, natural oils if desired but nothing that builds up).

[MeAndTheMaz]

As others have said it could be damage, or could be curls. I'm clearly no expert, but maybe she should try the CurlyGirl method and see if that helps with frizz. You can probably find it on the naturallycurly web site.

[Theobroma]

Should I get her to do a few experiments to see if her hair has any curl to it? I found the naturallycurly.com website for this.

It can't do any harm and might do a lot of good! Until I tried an airdrying experiment, I had absolutely no clue that my hair is wurly. I'd always blowdried or brushed it dry, which resulted in a straight-but-frizzy sort of texture that I didn't understand at all. When it was severely dried out from harsh shampoo and not enough (read: none at all) conditioning it was a volumetastic nightmare. I couldn't figure it out at all until I realised that I have a wurly texture that craves moisture and oil, oil, oil. Your sister may be in for a similar surprise. But once she knows what she's got, she'll be in a far better position to make it look good without resorting to damaging measures.

[Panth]

If it's fine, split and heat-damaged, don't advise cutting out cones. You want as much patch-repair as possible - so, 'cones, maybe protein (if her hair will tolerate it), ceramides, panthenol, and/or 18-MEA).

There's no point going all "super-pure, oh-so-natural" with the haircare if she's already got major damage. Far better to cut out the sources of damage and use the big guns to minimise the effects of that damage until it's grown out.

I also agree that it is impossible to give very good advice unless we know her hairtype. Curlies need very different treatment to 1a hair.

[Weewah]

She probably has wavy hair that she's acting as if it's straight. If she learns to embrace her natural waves, by not combing or brushing it while drying, then she'll probably see that a lot of her puffy/frizziness are waves. I had the same problem, I thought I just had poofy hair that needed to be ironed.

Eta: Tell her to detangle in the shower with conditioner in her hair, and to leave some conditioner in her hair as a leave-in by gently rinsing out most but not all of the conditioner after detangling. Then when out of the shower, don't wrap the hair up in a towel or comb it. She should gently pat her hair upwards with a microfiber hair towel or tshirt, keeping her palms open, to help form her waves, kinda like folding the hair up like an accordion. Then let it air dry without touching, or gently use a diffuser using the pixie curl method(you can Google it). The big thing here is not to run her fingers through her hair or comb or brush her hair AT ALL before it's completely dry.

I hope this gets her started in a good direction. :)

[Tini'sNewHair]

Thank you again you guys, cant tell you how much help you all are :D She just told me last night that a hairdresser friend of hers told her once that her hair might have some curl and she admitted that shes seen her hair trying to form waves. She says that she dosnt like anything than straight hair (which is why she might of started this bad routine of using a flat iron) but that she still wants to try oils and the rest. I just made a list of all the things you all said and i will be sending it to her tonight :) I will update her progress as it goes.

[Firefox7275]

I am a wavy but my hair behaves way better on the days its air dried straight if I follow Curly Girl principles: dropping shampoo for conditioner washing depoufed my damaged hair literally the first week. I also still apply a creamy leave in conditioner to wet hair, then towel turban in microfibre, gently comb though and loosely tie back, air dry NO touching nor brushing until bone dry (next day if possible).

I used to do a lot of what your sister does: harsh sulphate shampoo, silicones, ponytail tho less hairspray.