Have you ever been judged for your washing schedule?

[Nadine <3]

Hi all.

So, I'm feeling kinda crummy this morning. Normally when I wake up in the morning, my roommate is loooong gone for the day, and I can putter around and do my hair in private. This morning, she was home when I got up. I didn't think a whole lot of it. It was kinda nice having the company. Well, recently I've started stretching my washes to every 4 days. My day three hair (today) is pretty greasy on the scalp, but I wash my bangs and use dry shampoo and then it goes into a braid or a bun or something. It's a nice hair day for me because all my layers stay in the braids and they look nice and shiny. It's the only day twin french braids will even stay in my super slippery hair. Anyway, we where talking and I was washing my bangs in the sink and she comes over and says "oh, you're just washing your bangs? The rest or your head is pretty greasy too." She knows I'm weird about my hair, and she's cool with most of it. I got her to CO wash her hair to help her fried hair get the moisture it needs. I've oiled her hair when I did mine because she was curious. This comment stuck with me though. Is it really that horrible to have a little grease on your roots? The dry shampoo took care of it, now it just looks shiny and nice. When she sees me at night, she never comments on greasy hair so I'm betting she can't even tell once it's done and up....

Tell me a little grease isn't a bad thing guys... I don't want to freak myself out and start washing more...especially since I can only get braids to stay when it's dirty and I love braids!

Have you ever had anything like this happen to you?

[Firefox7275]

There was a thread very recently about whether LHCers were happy to be seen in public with greasy hair (sebum or oiled up I think) if you search back a few pages/ run an advanced search. The responses varied from YES! to Eeewww.

BTW you are using the word 'dirty' which has negative connotations, not merely descriptive.

[walterSCAN]

Probably have, but no one's had the temerity to say anything to me about it, and I wouldn't care about their opinion anyway. :shrug: It's my hair, I'm an adult, and I get to make my own decisions on when I feel it needs washed. None of anyone else's business. I do feel that oily hair =/= dirty hair, though. You have to have some kind of ick/ dirt/ bad smell in your hair for it to actually be dirty in my opinion, and sebum by itself doesn't fall under that category for me.

[DweamGoiL]

People will judge you about anything and everything. However, I think walterSCAN makes an excellent point; as you get older, you care less what others think. It's up to you how much you are going to let an insensitive comment bother you.

[HaileComfort]

Sorry you are feeling crummy! I doubt she really meant anything bad by that, maybe just more curious - as she knows you're a "clean" person. (Also - I know what you mean by "dirty" - for me at least, no negative connotations. I love my hair when it's dirty! I saw an evening fluff news type program in which I was very small and they were getting beauty tips from Miss America contests - I'll never forget the one who advised against washing hair the day of an event: "hair is better when it's dirty.")

I don't know about you, but I always feel the need to EXPLAIN... though it is frequently my downfall. Right when she made the comment would have been a good time to casually be like, "Oh, I know - but I use a little hair powder at the roots and it looks okay, I actually find my hair behaves much better a couple of days after being washed, kind of a pain - but oh well/ haha." If she brings it up again, it might make you feel better to take the opportunity to fill her in on the benefits of your method. But since the moment has passed, I say do your best to forget about it and move on.

I have never had anyone question my wash patterns (tho no one is really aware of them, not even my husband - he leaves for work an hour before I do), but in my mind - I feel a little superior to women who think they have to wash every day. I am on a 2x/week schedule. I go to an excellent hairdresser at a high-end salon, and even she is a big advocate of washing hair "as infrequently as you can stand to."

Anyway, not sure if I'm helping - but I DO hope your Friday turns around. Sorry for the awkward moment with your roommate! Bleh! I love third day hair, enjoy your good hair day! :)

[Nadine <3]

Thank you, I'll have to search for that thread! I feel okay now, she came back home and said my hair looked nice...I dunno, maybe she was just confused as to why I would only wash my bangs when my whole head looked like it needed washing. I guess to a lot of people, hair that isn't freshly washed is considered "dirty"

[Nadine <3]

I don't know about you, but I always feel the need to EXPLAIN... though it is frequently my downfall. Right when she made the comment would have been a good time to casually be like, "Oh, I know - but I use a little hair powder at the roots and it looks okay, I actually find my hair behaves much better a couple of days after being washed, kind of a pain - but oh well/ haha." If she brings it up again, it might make you feel better to take the opportunity to fill her in on the benefits of your method. But since the moment has passed, I say do your best to forget about it and move on.


This is so me! I ALWAYS feel like I just need to explain myself, but in this case she blurted out her comment and then goes "crap, I'm late, BYE HAVE A GOOD DAY"

I don't think she really ment anything by the comment. She was probably just confused lol

[Magalo]

Rule number 1 of long hair: don't talk about your washing routine. :lol:

Althought personnally, I don't go out with visibly greasy hair. Hair that feel greasy, okay, but if you can SEE the sebum then maybe today should be wash day. And I will always be afraid of falling into the "but it's nice and shiny!" trap when my hair is actually very greasy and I'm just getting used to it. I wouldn't want that to happen. *shrug*

[Verdandi]

Rule number 1 of long hair: don't talk about your washing routine. :lol:


This!

My sister asked how I've managed to grow my hair so long since she saw it last time (I'm only at BSL, but was at collarbone when I moved out from my parents), and I told her that among things, I don't wash it that often. "Yuck! Disgusting!" was the reaction ;) . I usually never tell people outside my family of my washing routine for that exact reason. My hair isn't disgusting ( I wash 2-3 times a week), but if for someone who washes their hair 1-2 times a day "because it gets greasy otherwise" (my sister, again) I can se that the concept of just a few washes a week can seem sort of strange.

[Skade]

I remember that I had this problem when I was living with a friend and we were very close and always together. She was one of those that washed her hair every day and I was a little worried that she thought I was a bit nasty for not washing my hair every day. :lol: Dont know if she did or not, she never said anything about it though.. One good thing with living alone now, no one to judge me however far I stretch my washes. :D

[turquoisedays]

I remember having a conversation with one of my roommates a year ago about hair and products. She box dyed her hair red often. I mentioned I washed twice a week and she gave me a disgusted look (I wash even less nowadays, probably averaging once a week). I got the impression she didn't know much about natural oils and washing less since she had a ton of breakage at only APL and her red color didn't last long :shrug:

The year before that, I lived in a dorm with a roommate who washed her hair once a week and I was fascinated that she could go that long without washes. She also showered maybe twice a week and she never smelled.

[jacqueline101]

People will judge you about anything and everything. However, I think walterSCAN makes an excellent point; as you get older, you care less what others think. It's up to you how much you are going to let an insensitive comment bother you.

I agree people like to pass criticism on things they don't understand or like. Just remember you're growing your hair to please you. I keep this in mind daily.

[Carolyn]

I think people say things like your roommate did without thinking how it's going to sound to the other person. They don't mean anything by it. I remember when I was surprised to learn about bang washes. It had never occurred to me to try something like that. The only time I've ever had roommates was my college years. I washed my hair every single day and so did everyone else I knew. No one had bangs so there was no reason for bang washes. But yeah I'm one of those who considers anything but hair washed that day as "dirty" hair. Dirty to me simply means it hasn't been washed that day. I wash my hair about every other day now and still consider 2nd day hair to be dirty hair. It just means it's not fresh and can't be worn down. I don't think I've ever discussed my hair washing frequency and routine with anyone since my college days.

[dancingpoet]

Growing up, my mom was always the first to point out that my hair was "dirty." Therefore, I would wash my hair about every other day (except not on Mondays), and if I went longer than two days to wash my hair, I felt guilty about it. Now, it's more like two times a week (three if I need it to actually be clean on an odd day). However, I don't like going out with it looking greasy, so dry shampoo is pretty much the only reason I could get away with washing twice a week and looking "presentable." Also, I usually put my hair up when I use dry shampoo, and it'll go back smoother and hold pretty well.
When I find out how often (or seldom) someone washes their hair, it doesn't bother me. Everybody has different hair. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for the next.

[HazelBug]

When I was a child I washed my hair once a week. But I heard my mom make a comment when I was a teen about women not washing their hair when they showered and she sounded pretty grossed out by this. I should have thought it through more because my mother didn't shower daily. But for a while I felt compelled to wash daily because I showered daily. When I had longer hair I washed about every 5 days to 1 time a week. I've had a person or two get weirded out when they found out. But I knew better by then. Now I am washing every third day and hope to stretch washes out a bit more again.

[spidermom]

Kind of. I have an infection on my scalp - possibly fungal - and the doc said that I should be washing my hair at least twice a week, which I do. So then he wrote a prescription for medicated shampoo to use.

[jextxadore]

I've never told anyone about my washing schedule, because I don't have one —*sometimes I wash it once a week, sometimes I wash it once every 2 weeks — it just depends on when I find the right time to do it (since going to WO, I've found it takes around an hour to wash my hair). I think my longest was a month (honestly, in July in Hong Kong when it's 30ºC all day and all night, you get to keep your "clean" hair until 5 minutes after you walk outdoors…)

A friend did once ask, though, "Do you ever wash your hair?"

And the one time I let another friend attempt to braid my hair, he commented (rather loudly) on how oily it was, in a pretty negative way.

I always have my hair up when I go out, so really all people notice is a bit more shine and occasionally more lint.

I prefer hair after a few days of not being washed, actually: When it's clean, I hate the idea that what I'm doing could possibly get it oily. When it's already oily, I couldn't care less. Also, braids feel a lot more comfortable when there's some oil.

Things may change come summer though, especially now that I'm in Paris. I can only wash my hair at night in winter because I don't blow dry and don't want to walk around in chilly weather with wet hair.

Anyway, it's my hair. If it's oily, I'm the only one who has to feel it. (Though I only take that "Only my opinion matters" so far —*I do wash my hair a day or two before, say, meeting someone important for the first time.)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I don't tell people my washing schedule. I would if they asked but IRL people just aren't interested.
Anyway they seem to find quite a few LHC methods gross and disgusting. So they can do hair care their way and I will do it my way.

[katelinn]

I never discuss my washing routine with anyone. Ever,they wouldbe horrified,as I am trying out WO.

[Mya]

I think I have never been judged for my washing routine since I started gentle haircare and stretching washes. I think it's mostly because I make my best to stay away from judgemental people. Also, people know that if they attempt to step into my private zone I bite.

However, I don't think your roommate meant any harm. Maybe you are afraid of being judged and projected your fears on her phrase? You may ask her directly if she'd judging your washing routine.

[woodswanderer]

I'm about certain that I would get judged at work if people were aware my hair wasn't washed. It's a fact that I get judged for coming in with wet hair. My mom definitely judges hair cleanliness.

[Ambystoma]

No one has ever judged my wash schedule because I never let my hair get to the point where it looks dirty - I'm just really lucky and can wash twice a week and keep it nice. I remember years ago, being asked by a girl I worked with how on earth I find the time to blow dry and flatiron my hair every morning before work and I laughed and said "Dude, you shouldn't be washing your hair every day, it's really bad for it - ask your hairdresser" but clearly it looked like it getting washed lots and she seemed more amazed that it stayed pin straight for more than one day than anything else.

[Winterkatze]

No. But I'm very concerned about my hair so if it looks like it need to be washed I won't go outside without washing it. Glad that I can go 2 days without washing...

[Crumpet]

No. But I don't tell people I wash once a week. If it looks like its oily, I use dry shampoo or, if that doesn't work, I just wash it. Its my own preference though to break up the routine for vanity...but my whole long hair thing is my own personal vanity (regardless of if other people think it looks good or not!) so I suppose its consisent!

[ravenreed]

No, because I wash my hair every other day. To me oily = dirty. Oily hair is more likely to attract lint, dirt, pollutants, etc., and have it stick to the hair shaft. When I first went on my long hair journey I was already at waist. I met someone with what was probably classic length hair and was told that the only way to get hair that long was to stretch washes. I confess I was totally grossed out when the person told me that she went a month without washing her hair. I decided that I would manage longer lengths, but I would do it with clean hair! And I have. I suspect that for most people stretching washes is unnecessary. More importantly, I wouldn't wear the same clothes every day for a month (or a week for that matter) without washing, and I won't do it with my hair, either.

[Chromis]

I never saw a need for my roommates to know my washing schedule and they never saw a need to keep track of how often they saw me with wet hair. In general, it is not the kind of info I'd be likely to volunteer. If someone asks me specifically about how I wash my hair I tend to just mention the shampoo bars, not that I am a weekly washer. I've never had anyone ask how often I wash.

Your roomie sounds a bit rude. Especially if she then complimented your (still unwashed) hair later.

[Nadine <3]

She can be a bit rude sometimes, but I do love her dearly. We've been friends since 4th grade and we always talked about being roommates and going to college together. We accomplished it, but it's taken us both some adjustments. She saw my hair before I had washed up the front and added dry shampoo. I'm not walking around looking like an oil slick or anything. When she came home and it was in my braids ready for the day, she said they looked really cute. I think she was just confused when she saw me washing just my bangs in the sink lol

[YamaMaya]

I've been washing my hair once, maybe twice a week for years, mainly out of laziness I'm a bit embarrassed to say, but I've never had trouble growing my hair long, probably for this reason :D.

[Wildcat Diva]

Actually, she just used an adjective to describe your hair, greasy. Maybe she was just being honest in what her thought was. You can tell what her tone was, but it doesn't really sound like she was trying to be mean. Maybe saying what was on her mind was rude, in many people's opinions. However, when you live together, relaxed environment, it's difficult to silence what is on your mind, 24/ 7. She might have been trying to be helpful in her own way. Maybe speaking what is on your mind (if there is the slightest chance someone might take offense) = rude.

I don't usually say things in this manner, but I'm coming from the perspective that I feel quite often maybe I should shut up and go away rather than express my tiniest opinions to anybody.

[alyanna]

I've never been judged on my wash routine, no, but mine isn't particularly unusual. I was every other day or every three days.

I do not go out with visibly oily hair. NEVER. I also do think that washing hair too infrequently, or avoiding all types of cleansers, can verge on being "unclean". But that's my personal opinion. I feel the same way about bathing. People need to do it. Preferably every day if you're really active. May skip a day or two at most if you're a sedentary home body living in cooler climates. Cleanliness is a good thing. If hair or body hasn't been washed and looks unclean, than that is exactly what it is (looks like a duck, acts like a duck ... you know the rest). And who wouldn't want to be clean?

I also agree with Wildcat Diva. Merely telling a roommate that her hair looks greasy isn't rude. It's calling it like it is. It's much better than oh you hair looks so beautiful, when it doesn't.

[Lostsoule77]

If you've know each other that long I would think you guys are pretty close. So I'm in the camp that she didn't mean anything by it and was probably talking more out of surprise than anything. Though you'd know better if she's that kind of person.

I started stretching my washes based on tips from hair dressers who said 2 times a week is good enough. I have no problem telling people my wash schedule. I wash once a week during the summer and tend to stretch it to sometimes every other week during the winter. They may judge me on it, but no one has ever said anything directly to me. I don't think you should worry about a little sebum as long as your hair isn't smelling from it. Especially if you get new style options from it. :)

Also everyday washing is a somewhat more recent thing. The whole getting out of a date thing because you have to "wash your hair" is because in the 50's woman often washed and styled their hair once a week. ;)

[truepeacenik]

Since I usually rinse off dust and pollen daily, no one really know what my "wash schedule" is.
I do shower daily, even if it's a three minute wonder. And I'm the queen of summer rinses of 45 seconds.

I don't have much of a set schedule, here in California. Pollen all year, lots of air pollution... In Colorado, I had a seasonal pattern.

Since neither the state nor federal water boards will release water to farmers, and several cities will get 50 percent allocation, I suspect more people will be extending washes.
(By the way, all your trucked in food is going to skyrocket. Buy frozen and canned fruit now, and learn about your local options. Many farmers in the Central Valley are leaving fields fallow this year.)

Only once have I ever mentioned my washing, and it turned out he shampooed once a week, too. And he's very fastidious with his hygiene. However I started to put together how he restrained or covered his hair. Aha!
I should ask what he meant by "I do other things," although it sounded defensive. He relaxed when I said that I typically was one to two times a week for cleaning roots and length got what it needed at those points.

[Luna12345]

I'm usually the one who does the judging. I don't want to offend anyone but anytime i hear a girl say she hasn't washed her hair in a week I feel repulsed. I don't think it's hygienic because I think most areas on our body that have hair tend to get more smelly and need to be washed frequently.
I don't know how anyone can go more than 2 days without washing but I've also noticed that the majority of females I've met in my life don't wash their hair as often as I do. I think most I've met actually wash their hair every 3 or 4 days. For me when someone says they wash once a week...i think of it like this "wow, that's only 4 times a month?" 4 times in 30 days and I can't help but feel a little repulsed.
But YOU are using dry shampoo so that's cleansing right? I've never used dry shampoos to know how cleansing they are. As long as you're CLEANing your scalp and hair I don't think there's anything repulsive about it.
I hope none of the long hair community get offended by what I posted. These are just my honest opinions.

[divinedobbie]

I'm usually the one who does the judging. I don't want to offend anyone but anytime i hear a girl say she hasn't washed her hair in a week I feel repulsed. I don't think it's hygienic because I think most areas on our body that have hair tend to get more smelly and need to be washed frequently.
I don't know how anyone can go more than 2 days without washing but I've also noticed that the majority of females I've met in my life don't wash their hair as often as I do. I think most I've met actually wash their hair every 3 or 4 days. For me when someone says they wash once a week...i think of it like this "wow, that's only 4 times a month?" 4 times in 30 days and I can't help but feel a little repulsed.
But YOU are using dry shampoo so that's cleansing right? I've never used dry shampoos to know how cleansing they are. As long as you're CLEANing your scalp and hair I don't think there's anything repulsive about it.
I hope none of the long hair community get offended by what I posted. These are just my honest opinions.

I never thought of washing weekly as "4 times a month" *cringe*.

I wash every three days currently, my hair looks perfectly fine on the second day and on the third day sometimes I will use some dry shampoo but I usually don't need it. I could stretch more but I tried, and didn't like it. Not because my hair wasn't clean but because the longer I wait between washes, the worse my hair cleavage gets and it is my pet peeve. I used to wash daily but even when I heard people talking about washing their hair only twice a week etc, it didn't gross me out. As long as it looks clean, let them do whatever makes them happy.

[LauraLongLocks]

Dry shampoo doesn't really cleanse at all. It just helps absorb some of the greasiness. Right now I'm doing a full co-wash 3x a week, and possibly a scalp-only co-wash or shampoo (depending on what I feel my hair needs) where my length doesn't get wet once in a week (sometimes I skip this if my hair doesn't need it). The remaining 3-4 days of the week, I do the best I can with a dry shampoo. I'm shampooing my hair once a month.

No one has ever said my hair looks greasy, because I make a conscious effort to be sure it never looks or feels greasy. I don't go out in public every day like most people, so I try not to have the attitude of "I'm staying at home today, anyway, so it doesn't matter how I look or smell," because that attitude leads to major depression for me. I'm a stay at home mom, homeschooling my kids, dealing with farm animals and small children every day. I still take a few minutes every day to shower (I don't always get my hair wet), put on clean clothes, put earrings in my ears, and style my hair, even if I go without makeup most of the time. I wear makeup about 1-2x a week, when I know I'm going out. No one has ever asked my washing schedule. I doubt anyone in my life actually cares.

Basically, I try to remain as attractive, healthy, fit, and clean as I can. Maybe no one outside my family will ever see me, but my family is important to me, especially my husband. I want to keep myself up so that he has something nice to come home to.

[SkyChild]

Why was your room-mate in a position to see you washing your bangs in the sink? Was it the kitchen sink or does she rudely come into the bathroom when people are getting ready for the day?

Either way I think it's up to you. You are possibly being a little touchy about it. If it comes up again, point out that you use dry shampoo and that a bit of grease helps your updos. If it doesn't come up again, forget about it.

Haha, sorry didn't answer thread question! I'm never judged for my washing schedule because no-one knows it

[Islandgrrl]

I make it a point to not discuss my haircare routines with anyone. I do, from time to time get directly asked how often I wash my hair. Mostly these questions come from people who assume my haircare routine must be very time consuming. I never, ever say anything to disabuse them of that idea. The reality is that I use very diluted shampoo when I feel the need, which is usually a couple times a year (gasp). The rest of the time I either CO (once every week to two weeks) and rinse my hair in between as often as I want. Im surprised at how refreshing just a bit of a rinse is, both in terms of how clean the hair feels and how i feel overall. Sometimes that's in response to it looking a little nasty, but mostly it's just because I like the warm water on my head. It feels good. Since I don't have a very oily scalp, it's not a problem. I've gone as long as a month without washing, other than a quick rinse every few days, and my hair has never looked, felt or smelled unclean.

I think most people with short hair try to relate how they care for their own hair to how a longhair must care for theirs. Most of the short haired people I know wash their hair daily, not because it's dirty per se, but because they put so much product in it. They assume we do the same. The damage they incur from all of that product, the inevitable styling and the subsequent washing is not apparent since they cut their damaged bits off regularly. They don't understand the vast differences in hair care between themselves and us. They assume we do the same things they do, and to find out otherwise is shocking to some.

But I like the first rule: don't talk about your washing routine.

[Unicorn]

She can be a bit rude sometimes, but I do love her dearly. We've been friends since 4th grade and we always talked about being roommates and going to college together. We accomplished it, but it's taken us both some adjustments. She saw my hair before I had washed up the front and added dry shampoo. I'm not walking around looking like an oil slick or anything. When she came home and it was in my braids ready for the day, she said they looked really cute. I think she was just confused when she saw me washing just my bangs in the sink lol

It sounds to me as if she was trying to be helpful and just initially curious at your response, particularly as she dropped it so quickly once she realised it was intentional on your part. If you imagine someone getting food or something in their hair and you watch them washing the food off the bit of affected hair, if you saw some on the hair that was being ignored, you'd automatically say, "there's some on that bit too", without thinking about it. It sounds as if that's what she was doing.

Unicorn

[tigereye]

In my experience, I would never wear my hair down after day 4. I wash once a week. Those final three days make killer hairstyles - not soft, falling-out-romantically type ones, but smooth ones. Can't do a crown braid on day 3 to save my life, but day 6? No problem, and it looks gorgeous to boot.
Honestly, most people see smooth, shiny pulled back hair and just go "I wonder what product she uses to make her hair so shiny" never realising it's just our washing routine.
Mine isn't dirty by day 7, and my scalp is really not all that oily. Day 7 hair I took down once to let someone see it, and though it looks greasy to me, they said it didn't look it, but it felt like it needed washed. I just get annoyed because the little sebum I do produce grabs so much fluff. I wash because the fluff irritates me.

[Wildcat Diva]

I'm usually the one who does the judging. I don't want to offend anyone but anytime i hear a girl say she hasn't washed her hair in a week I feel repulsed. I don't think it's hygienic because I think most areas on our body that have hair tend to get more smelly and need to be washed frequently.
I don't know how anyone can go more than 2 days without washing but I've also noticed that the majority of females I've met in my life don't wash their hair as often as I do. I think most I've met actually wash their hair every 3 or 4 days. For me when someone says they wash once a week...i think of it like this "wow, that's only 4 times a month?" 4 times in 30 days and I can't help but feel a little repulsed.
But YOU are using dry shampoo so that's cleansing right? I've never used dry shampoos to know how cleansing they are. As long as you're CLEANing your scalp and hair I don't think there's anything repulsive about it.
I hope none of the long hair community get offended by what I posted. These are just my honest opinions.

I don't mind your opinions. However, I am often one of those 4-8 times a month persons. I think my hair looks lovely and feels quite nice on day 5. If I felt it was gross I would wash it. My scalp never flakes or itches during this time, and my hair mostly feels silky. I really don't think you would be able to tell that I didn't wash my hair more often. The hair by the scalp might look shiny, but that would probably be the only way you would be able to tell. So it's all good.

[Chromis]

I'm usually the one who does the judging. I don't want to offend anyone but anytime i hear a girl say she hasn't washed her hair in a week I feel repulsed. I don't think it's hygienic because I think most areas on our body that have hair tend to get more smelly and need to be washed frequently.
I don't know how anyone can go more than 2 days without washing but I've also noticed that the majority of females I've met in my life don't wash their hair as often as I do. I think most I've met actually wash their hair every 3 or 4 days. For me when someone says they wash once a week...i think of it like this "wow, that's only 4 times a month?" 4 times in 30 days and I can't help but feel a little repulsed.
But YOU are using dry shampoo so that's cleansing right? I've never used dry shampoos to know how cleansing they are. As long as you're CLEANing your scalp and hair I don't think there's anything repulsive about it.
I hope none of the long hair community get offended by what I posted. These are just my honest opinions.

I haven't washed my hair in a week. No, I do not use dry shampoo either.

Would you like to be more repulsed? I grew up *showering* weekly. No cleaning in between other than washing my hands sometimes. Not because I hated to bathe, that was just what was normal in our house.

Have you considered that perhaps you are a bit obsessive about cleaning if you don't know many others who wash as frequently as you do?

[HazelBug]

I'm usually the one who does the judging. I don't want to offend anyone but anytime i hear a girl say she hasn't washed her hair in a week I feel repulsed. I don't think it's hygienic because I think most areas on our body that have hair tend to get more smelly and need to be washed frequently.
I don't know how anyone can go more than 2 days without washing but I've also noticed that the majority of females I've met in my life don't wash their hair as often as I do. I think most I've met actually wash their hair every 3 or 4 days. For me when someone says they wash once a week...i think of it like this "wow, that's only 4 times a month?" 4 times in 30 days and I can't help but feel a little repulsed.
But YOU are using dry shampoo so that's cleansing right? I've never used dry shampoos to know how cleansing they are. As long as you're CLEANing your scalp and hair I don't think there's anything repulsive about it.
I hope none of the long hair community get offended by what I posted. These are just my honest opinions.

When you have grown up a certian way it ia hard to see another viewpoint. I don't wash my hair every day. Sometimes I also skip a shower. But if you don't wash your hair daily, your scalp produces less oils and you don't get dirty as fast. Head hair is nothing like pubic hair. And pubic hair is what tends to smell if left too long. My scalp tends to be dry for a couple days after I wash my hair. It would lead to itchyness and flaky skin if I overdid it. I also can't use most soaps of my skin when I shower or I get painfully dry skin. I just use hot water and it works just fine. I find that what you eat has a lot more to do with how you smell then if you skip a shower or a hair wash. Studies have also been done on the human skin. And it's been shown that the human body only needs to be washed 1 to 2 times every other week to maintain healthy not smelly skin after it has adjusted.

[tigereye]

I haven't washed my hair in a week. No, I do not use dry shampoo either.

Would you like to be more repulsed? I grew up *showering* weekly. No cleaning in between other than washing my hands sometimes. Not because I hated to bathe, that was just what was normal in our house.

Have you considered that perhaps you are a bit obsessive about cleaning if you don't know many others who wash as frequently as you do?

I did too. I only started to wash more often in my mid-teens when I started horse-riding every day (for many years I headed along to the stables once a week and washed afterwards, until the lady who owned it had a stroke and needed people to take the horses for a ride), and that was because I was usually covered in dust or mud. I just continued, but still, if I do go back to washing less frequently, I don't smell, but my face freaks (I have very dry skin and rarely get blackheads, but have bad acne, often the cystic type. Annoying combination that freaks if it doesn't see water, moisturiser and SPF every single day) so those days, I still use a terry-cloth to wash my face.

Mind you, my face was better in the days of weekly washing. Maybe it's time to go back...

[tigereye]

I'm usually the one who does the judging. I don't want to offend anyone but anytime i hear a girl say she hasn't washed her hair in a week I feel repulsed. I don't think it's hygienic because I think most areas on our body that have hair tend to get more smelly and need to be washed frequently.
I don't know how anyone can go more than 2 days without washing but I've also noticed that the majority of females I've met in my life don't wash their hair as often as I do. I think most I've met actually wash their hair every 3 or 4 days. For me when someone says they wash once a week...i think of it like this "wow, that's only 4 times a month?" 4 times in 30 days and I can't help but feel a little repulsed.
But YOU are using dry shampoo so that's cleansing right? I've never used dry shampoos to know how cleansing they are. As long as you're CLEANing your scalp and hair I don't think there's anything repulsive about it.
I hope none of the long hair community get offended by what I posted. These are just my honest opinions.

Here's something that might disgust you even more :D. Guessing you wash once a day, right?
I wash mine 52 times a year, and you wash yours 365/6 times depending on the year.
Honestly though, if I washed mine every day, it would be dry as bone and probably be breaking off at BSL or so, even without the harsh sulphates I'm allergic to. My hair and scalp is honestly that dry. The end of day 1 on a lot of daily washers I know? My hair takes 12 days to look like that (yeah I had to once, I prefer washing less often than more often and an expedition got in the way of my routine, so I went 2 weeks without). I wash at 7. I generally don't use dry shampoo. I have a tub of stuff I made from a recipe I found here involving orris root and essential oils that I use occasionally if I'm doing a special style that requires a little softness and bounce at the roots, but not for cleaning.

[LadyCelestina]

Who don't wash often judge those who wash often and those who wash often judge those who don't wash often,it's a big circle and don't think you can escape so easily :D (I'm already sensing the person who quotes me just to say they aren't judging anybody :D )


OP,As for your room mate,she didn't probably mean to do anything nasty.You yourself,I think,said that your hair was slightly greasy then and she probably saw it too and blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.As another person said earlier in this thread,it's hard to keep 100% control over your behaviour when in relaxed enviroment.
Chin up, slightly greasy hair for a day is not the end of the world! :)

[Chromis]

Who don't wash often judge those who wash often and those who wash often judge those who don't wash often,it's a big circle and don't think you can escape so easily :D (I'm already sensing the person who quotes me just to say they aren't judging anybody :D )


)

Nah, I'll totally admit to being a Judgy Mc.Judgypants, but I don't really care if other people choose to wash their hair more frequently as long as they aren't hassling me about mine...or stealing all the hot water. More frequent washers though, really really seem to care and really want to tell us all about it!

[ositarosita]

Oh yeah I get judged .. if I heat style my hair I leave it for a week (yes a week and I don't stretch washes) so by the 5th day I start to get a lil sebumy so I just put it up into a up do of some sort and leave it. Now sine I am a blonette ( a very light blonette 8 or 9) so it shows. Do I care?? NOPE I couldn't' care less what other people think of me, makes life a heck of a lot easier. Just trying to make myself happy and forget about everyone else leads to happy life.

[Wildcat Diva]

Who don't wash often judge those who wash often and those who wash often judge those who don't wash often,it's a big circle and don't think you can escape so easily :D (I'm already sensing the person who quotes me just to say they aren't judging anybody :D )




Nope, I'll quote you to say that we are ALL judging, depending on your definition of the word. Here's my thoughts again, comes up often on these types of threads, about making a discernment IS making a judgement. Saying your hair is greasy? That's making a discernment, a decision, that in your mind... that hair is greasy. Just that. An opinion is a judgement, a position, observation in my mind. Now there can be a secondary judgement, and maybe this is what people are referring to... that your hair is greasy AND that's a terrible thing. Or a good thing. Or a meh thing. But you really don't know, unless there's a tone, or a look, or a secondary comment to let you know about that second judgement. I dunno, this is how I look at it.

Now if you are talking about ASSUMPTIONS, well we can all go there, too. It's related, it seems.

[Stormynights]

I spent most of my life washing my hair daily. After I let my hair grow past my shoulders, I started skipping days. There are a lot of factors involved in how often you should wash your hair. Everyone is different. If your head sweats it will require more washing. If your hair is really thick, so air doesn't get to your scalp is also something to consider. I am a retired hair stylist and I have had my hands in a lot of hair. I have known people that could go a week and not have gross hair. I have also known people that had gross hair after a couple of days. It all depends on the individual body chemistry. Really long hair is in a class of its own. I just don't think it is possible for everyone to grow hair to a really long length with daily washing. Hair products is another issue to consider. Anyone with short hair that gels and sprays with a lot of hair spray just can't understand that long hair really doesn't need to be washed as often.

[ravenreed]

I washed weekly as a kid and I remember being grossed out by the grubby water at the time. I don't know when I switched to daily showering, probably in my early teens, but most people I know shower every day or every other day.


I haven't washed my hair in a week. No, I do not use dry shampoo either.

Would you like to be more repulsed? I grew up *showering* weekly. No cleaning in between other than washing my hands sometimes. Not because I hated to bathe, that was just what was normal in our house.

Have you considered that perhaps you are a bit obsessive about cleaning if you don't know many others who wash as frequently as you do?

[Chromis]

I washed weekly as a kid and I remember being grossed out by the grubby water at the time. I don't know when I switched to daily showering, probably in my early teens, but most people I know shower every day or every other day.

I shower more often now, but but mostly because I like the nice warm/cool water. I wear a shower cap if I'm not washing my hair. I tried daily washing at some point because I had the idea that was what you were "supposed" to do but my hair and scalp hated it. My hair turned into straw and my scalp was awful. My skin gets dry if I wash every day with soap too, let alone that body wash stuff. That had my skin flaking right off! No wonder people think they need to use so much lotion. The only time I have ever been perturbed by the colour coming out in the water is after I have done henna or if I have gotten really muddy. I was not often allowed to get muddy as a child unless I was with my Grandparents, and they just hosed me off before I was allowed back indoors. As an adult, I can get muddy all I like, it washes off. Most people I know don't get muddy very often though as adults. (I like to garden and I also love camping, real camping, not just car camping!)

[LadyCelestina]

Nope, I'll quote you to say that we are ALL judging, depending on your definition of the word. Here's my thoughts again, comes up often on these types of threads, about making a discernment IS making a judgement. Saying your hair is greasy? That's making a discernment, a decision, that in your mind... that hair is greasy. Just that. An opinion is a judgement, a position, observation in my mind. Now there can be a secondary judgement, and maybe this is what people are referring to... that your hair is greasy AND that's a terrible thing. Or a good thing. Or a meh thing. But you really don't know, unless there's a tone, or a look, or a secondary comment to let you know about that second judgement. I dunno, this is how I look at it.

Now if you are talking about ASSUMPTIONS, well we can all go there, too. It's related, it seems.

Wildcat Diva,I appreciate your views because I can see a lot of thoughtfulness in them,but I still think you are over analyzing the word.As I said in the previous thread,maybe not directly and maybe you don't even recall,I'm not willing to go to the depths of subtleties in the meaning of the words in a language that is not native to me.
Might be ignorant of me,but if most have understood what I meant,I'm okay.

[Wildcat Diva]

Thank you LadyC. And, that's me to a T, over-analyzing. I understand your point. But please don't ask me to change that about me, because I can't. Doesn't mean that a deeper analysis is not valid, any more than keeping it general is not valid.

And nothing you have said is ignorant at all.

This way of looking at the meaning of the word is directly related to the OP's complaint. A room mate said that her hair was greasy, and this does mean her hair was judged (as in judged to be greasy), but maybe not judged to be "bad." Maybe there was a look or a sneer, or an eye roll that went along with this comment to reflect the meaning of the observation, I don't know. If you don't know the second meaning, maybe a person doesn't have to get all uptight about "being judged."

It's like when people make the often quoted obvious comment: "You have long hair." And so the thought is... "And? So that's great? Or different? Or bad? Or what?" Where is the judgement, in the discernment that a person has long hair? Or in the implied or not understood meaning behind the comment?

[LadyCelestina]

I'm not asking you to change,my point is,that I'm not the right person to over analyze with :)
But I understand what you mean when you explained it with the OP's situation - actually we were saying the same thing,just put it in different words.
My problem is that I simplify things so much that I often just drop out a lot of a sentence,sometimes even the most important parts,which makes it hard to understand then :D But I agree with you completely."Your hair is greasy" can be merely an observation and doesn't have to mean " Your hair is greasy therefore,you are a lesser being".I'm over exaggerating now of course.

[Wildcat Diva]

Makes perfect sense. And the way I was looking at it doesn't need to be directed to you exclusively. It applies to anyone who wants to tackle the interpretation that an observation is a judgement, and not just a simple stating of opinion, but one of discerning what this observation means, or a connected judgement of character.