I know, I know, I'm being very silly, but ...

[makeminea99]

I now know of two long haired ladies who are shaving their hair off to raise money for cancer charities. And on the one hand, I say, 'fair play to you!' and salute them, on the other hand, it is also making me feel very guilty because I don't want to!
One of the ladies is the daughter of a friend of mine. My friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and her daughter (who's 12) has already raised over £2000
with her pledge to shave off her hair. And yes, someone (who shaved her own hair off just over a year ago for charity) has said to me, 'oh, I think you should do it too!'
I politely said that maybe I will want to one day, and if I do, I will do it for charity.
However - still feeling guilty! Gaah! :taz:So frustrating. There's a whole plethora of other things you can do to raise money. I've a few ideas in mind.
So cross with myself for feeling guilty about it though!! Hardly helping, is it? You can all tell me off for being so silly if you like. Or say reassuring things like, 'oh, makeminea99, your're not a bad person' and what have you. ;)
But it feels good to get this off my chest.

[LaReineJaguar]

yeah... its a great cause, and I do admire people who can donate their hair, but I don't know if I could do it either.

[moxamoll]

There is no 'one best way' to accomplish anything. Donating to charity doesn't even have to be money! Volunteer to read at a hospice or treatment center. Or if you want to raise money, have a bake sale or silent auction or something. Cutting off your hair for money does not have any moral high ground - if it's how you contribute,
great! But it's only one way of many!

[Rio040113]

I admire people who do it for a cause (to raise money) but I'm not sure I'd do it myself, maybe if it was my partner or child I would and I think then it would be more for moral support than anything anyway. If I didn't then there still would be plenty of things I would/could do :) Could you offer to do something else instead, if you want to?

[sumidha]

If you really feel like you need to do something, you could raise money for cancer in a way that doesn't involve cutting your hair off at the end.

[makeminea99]

I have been thinking about shaving off my eyebrows if my friend's daughter can raise £3000 by the time she does her hair shave in April! :) Also considering auctioning some of my knitted/crocheted makes and raising money for the Macmillan cancer charity. Failing that, our local hospice is doing a Starlight Walk in June, that might be a good one.

[makeminea99]

Thanks, by the way, you lot. Already feeling more positive. :flower:

[spidermom]

You can contribute by sponsoring someone else's hair-cutting fund-raising efforts.

[Tini'sNewHair]

I agree with the others and I say stop thinking about your poor hair, you want it on your head so keep it and dont feel guilty at all because if yoi really want to do something for a cause like this one then theres many other ways :)

[lapushka]

There are more ways to support a good cause than to shave your hair off. It's understandable that her daughter may want to do it, but it can't just be "expected" of other people.

[Jumper]

When I had to have stitches in my eyebrow they told me at the ER they used to shave eyebrows to do that but they don't anymore because they don't always grow back.

Just something to think about...

[RapunzelKat]

There are more ways to support a good cause than to shave your hair off. It's understandable that her daughter may want to do it, but it can't just be "expected" of other people.

^^ Yes, this. Don't feel guilty about wanting to keep your hair :) It's yours, and you shouldn't feel bad for wanting to keep it.
I'm sure you can find another way to show support and encouragement that will be just as meaningful :)

[kaydana]

Do you feel that the rest of the world needs to know how special you are every time you do something for charity?

If the answer is no, then that in itself is a fairly good reason not to do it. The emotional high from doing something for charity should come from knowing you've done something to help other people, not from other people telling you how special you are for doing it. I'd put serious money behind a bet that the majority of people who cut/shave their hair for charity wouldn't do it if it weren't for the bragging rights it affords them. Telling other people that they should do the same thing is really just a way to show superiority.

If you don't want to shave your hair off for charity, then don't. As you said, there are a plethora of other ways to raise money.

I appear to be feeling cynical tonight...

[lapushka]

Do you feel that the rest of the world needs to know how special you are every time you do something for charity?

If the answer is no, then that in itself is a fairly good reason not to do it. The emotional high from doing something for charity should come from knowing you've done something to help other people, not from other people telling you how special you are for doing it. I'd put serious money behind a bet that the majority of people who cut/shave their hair for charity wouldn't do it if it weren't for the bragging rights it affords them. Telling other people that they should do the same thing is really just a way to show superiority.

If you don't want to shave your hair off for charity, then don't. As you said, there are a plethora of other ways to raise money.

I appear to be feeling cynical tonight...

Not at all. Well said! :)

[truepeacenik]

Do you feel that the rest of the world needs to know how special you are every time you do something for charity?

If the answer is no, then that in itself is a fairly good reason not to do it. The emotional high from doing something for charity should come from knowing you've done something to help other people, not from other people telling you how special you are for doing it. I'd put serious money behind a bet that the majority of people who cut/shave their hair for charity wouldn't do it if it weren't for the bragging rights it affords them. Telling other people that they should do the same thing is really just a way to show superiority.

If you don't want to shave your hair off for charity, then don't. As you said, there are a plethora of other ways to raise money.

I appear to be feeling cynical tonight...


Beautiful words.

It is so often about the donor. "Oh, I cut my long hair (see how selfless and awesome I am?)."

[swearnsue]

I could see why you would feel guilty with them saying you should shave your head too. Your friend shouldn't have put you on the spot like that, but maybe she was just kidding.

You could volunteer to wield the clippers! hehehehe

[makeminea99]

You can contribute by sponsoring someone else's hair-cutting fund-raising efforts.

I have indeed sponsored her. I wish I could sponsor her more! In fact, if I had the money, I'd double whatever she raised if she DIDN'T shave off her hair! Her Mum tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't be dissuaded. I suppose that must be her way of coping with her Mum's illness.

[makeminea99]

Do you feel that the rest of the world needs to know how special you are every time you do something for charity?

If the answer is no, then that in itself is a fairly good reason not to do it. The emotional high from doing something for charity should come from knowing you've done something to help other people, not from other people telling you how special you are for doing it. I'd put serious money behind a bet that the majority of people who cut/shave their hair for charity wouldn't do it if it weren't for the bragging rights it affords them. Telling other people that they should do the same thing is really just a way to show superiority.

If you don't want to shave your hair off for charity, then don't. As you said, there are a plethora of other ways to raise money.

I appear to be feeling cynical tonight...

Ha! I must admit that there's a part of me that agrees with you on this: it's a very eye-catching look, isn't it? It's almost inviting comments. I give blood, but you can't tell a blood donor just by looking at them, can you? Having said that I would certainly encourage anyone to do so if they possibly can. If they were horribly phobic about needles I wouldn't push it, though.

[makeminea99]

I could see why you would feel guilty with them saying you should shave your head too. Your friend shouldn't have put you on the spot like that, but maybe she was just kidding.

You could volunteer to wield the clippers! hehehehe

The friend who'd put me on the spot - who shaved her own hair off just over a year ago - tends to keep hers on the shorter side anyway, so she probably doesn't really understand what the big deal is.
Also, it's occurred to me that no one else who's shared the link to the Just Giving page where you can donate has had someone say to them, 'you should do it too!' Ah yes, that's it, I've got really long hair too, I must be just ITCHING to shave it all off, it's such a pain, what with spending no money at the hairdressers because I trim it myself and only washing it once a week, I use so much shampoo . . . blah blah blah.

[makeminea99]

When I had to have stitches in my eyebrow they told me at the ER they used to shave eyebrows to do that but they don't anymore because they don't always grow back.

Just something to think about...

Eeek! Thanks!! Perhaps I won't do that then. :)

[Federica]

Everyone can help unfortunate people in many ways, there are so many people who need so many different kinds of help...
I lost my mother for cancer 5 years ago, but even so I wouldn't donate my hair. It's too much important to me.
I'd rather prefer to do something else to help people, I'm a volunteer in the Civil Defence of my Country.
I think that you are definately not a bad person: a bad person doesn't mind to help or to hurt other people, a bad person minds only his own sake.

[makeminea99]

Everyone can help unfortunate people in many ways, there are so many people who need so many different kinds of help...
I lost my mother for cancer 5 years ago, but even so I wouldn't donate my hair. It's too much important to me.
I'd rather prefer to do something else to help people, I'm a volunteer in the Civil Defence of my Country.
I think that you are definately not a bad person: a bad person doesn't mind to help or to hurt other people, a bad person minds only his own sake.
<<<hugs>> to you, Federica: sad to hear you lost your Mum - my Mum died 2 1/2 years ago. Thanks for the reassuring words, too. Thinking about it, we all do our bit, don't we, pretty much? In our own ways!

[XcaliburGirl]

I honestly don't understand what the the point is. Are people really donating money so someone will shave their head? Isn't the cause the money is going to important enough on its own? Obviously doing the job of collecting donated money and making sure people know about it is important. I just don't get where the head-shaving part comes in.

[DaveDecker]

I honestly don't understand what the the point is. Are people really donating money so someone will shave their head? Isn't the cause the money is going to important enough on its own?

It absolutely is important enough on its own. Yet for reasons unknown to me, some people feel more compelled to give because someone performs an audacious stunt. As was suggested already in this thread, if I wanted to be supportive, I'd make a very simple offer - I will not donate money for a haircut, but I will donate money if the person trying to raise the money forgoes the haircut. Theoretically, if everyone took this stance (and not that I expect it ever will, but one can hope), then this whole haircut-for-charity nonsense would disappear.



Obviously doing the job of collecting donated money and making sure people know about it is important. I just don't get where the head-shaving part comes in.

I don't quite know where it originated either. I have an (un-researched) idea that the (in)famous one in Australia was started by buzzcut ******ers.

[kaydana]

I honestly don't understand what the the point is. Are people really donating money so someone will shave their head? Isn't the cause the money is going to important enough on its own? Obviously doing the job of collecting donated money and making sure people know about it is important. I just don't get where the head-shaving part comes in.

Oh gosh, somebody who understands!

I generally object to being asked to sponsor people for charity stuff. Either the charity is important enough that I'd donate to them anyway, or it's not important enough for me to donate to at all. There is no middle ground, because making a donation to a charity I consider less important means I have less to donate to one I actually want to donate to. If you think I should be donating to your chosen charity over mine, by all means go ahead and try to convince me, but I'm only interested in the merits of the charity, not whatever stunt you're pulling to get people to donate.

[Mainesongbird]

I know how you feel. At my school they are having a "hair drive" and asking people with long hair to donate. I try to run! EEEEEK! I commend whoever wants to do it, but I def don't want to be pressured into it!

[woodswanderer]

I wouldn't cut my hair for any cause...even poor baby seals with cancer covered in oil and choking on plastic bags. People just want something sensational but I think most organizations would prefer you cut a check or donate your time and labor.

[alexis917]

A lot of organization meant to use donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients have controversy surrounding them..
Lots of the hair isn't even used, and a lot of it is "missing" or supposedly turned into wigs and sold to other people.
Locks of Love comes to mind.

[Carolyn]

There is no need to feel guilty in the least. Do you feel guilty about every charity that you don't donate to? As others have said there are plenty of other things you can do to raise money for a cure or to help your friend. You said that you knit and crochet so how about making your friend a chemo cap or a nice afghan to cover up with when she's cold? I would be horrified if I had cancer and someone shaved their head for me. That would cause me no end of guilt.

[makeminea99]

There is no need to feel guilty in the least. Do you feel guilty about every charity that you don't donate to? As others have said there are plenty of other things you can do to raise money for a cure or to help your friend. You said that you knit and crochet so how about making your friend a chemo cap or a nice afghan to cover up with when she's cold? I would be horrified if I had cancer and someone shaved their head for me. That would cause me no end of guilt.

Same here! If I'm ever unfortunate enough to lose my hair, for whatever reason, I would express in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't want anyone to shave their hair off on my account. Bad enough that I'd have to see my own baldie bonce in the mirror, without having to see other people's too!
OOh - update! A mutual friend of ours has had a Genius Idea: she's getting married this August, and our friend with breast cancer (whose daughter is doing the head shave for charity) is to be her Matron of Honour. Well, my friend the Bride-to-be has found out about something the Macmillan cancer charity are doing this year called The Big Night In - you basically organize a party at your house, and people donate whatever they'd spend on a Big Night Out to Macmillan instead! So she thought, how about doing that for her Hen night? Maybe get some people in to do beauty treatments, make cocktails (and mocktails!), do hair, eat yummy food, dance and sing and laugh, raise loads of wonga, you get the idea! :D

[sweet&sourkiwi]

Ahhh peer pressure! The point is people want to feel supportive...and supported! I'm certain the shavers will feel better for having done something, and the patient will appreciate the gesture, because they decided to do it on their own. And I'm sure the patient will appreciate whatever gesture you come up with too! The point is warm fuzzies all around...it's not worth it if you give up too much of yourself. And it's not silly to feel that hair is important...it's literally a body part!

[emilia1992]

A lot of organization meant to use donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients have controversy surrounding them..
Lots of the hair isn't even used, and a lot of it is "missing" or supposedly turned into wigs and sold to other people.
Locks of Love comes to mind.

Yes, I completely agree here. They throw away so much of the hair- because it's too short, too grey, too coloured.........the list goes on.

And of course, they need to raise money too. So they just sell some of the hair to commercial wig companies etc, which means that the whole 'I'm donating hair for kids with cancer' thing doesn't really stand up, if hair just ends up being made into hair extensions or something.

The alternative would be selling hair yourself, and then donating the money to charity.

Then of course, it simply is money.

Which you could get without selling hair.

And thus, the whole hair-for-charity thing makes very little sense at all.

[MeAndTheMaz]

Thanks, by the way, you lot. Already feeling more positive. :flower:

As others have said, there are plenty of other things you can do to raise money for cancer research (or other worthwhile charities). You shouldn't let other people guilt you into cutting off your hair. If the time ever come that you want to chop, then fine, make a good cause out of it, bit until then. . .

[MeAndTheMaz]

The friend who'd put me on the spot - who shaved her own hair off just over a year ago - tends to keep hers on the shorter side anyway, so she probably doesn't really understand what the big deal is.
Also, it's occurred to me that no one else who's shared the link to the Just Giving page where you can donate has had someone say to them, 'you should do it too!' Ah yes, that's it, I've got really long hair too, I must be just ITCHING to shave it all off, it's such a pain, what with spending no money at the hairdressers because I trim it myself and only washing it once a week, I use so much shampoo . . . blah blah blah.

You can also look at it mathematically. Your avatar says you're at 33.5". It should take 67 months at average growth rate to reclaim that. If you were to get sponsored £2000, that would be about £35/month. £3000 would be £50/month. If you can afford to, you could always self sponsor (since you're saving so much on hair cuts and shampoo), and raise the same amount of money. Win-win.:cool:

[Angela_Rose]

A lot of organization meant to use donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients have controversy surrounding them..
Lots of the hair isn't even used, and a lot of it is "missing" or supposedly turned into wigs and sold to other people.
Locks of Love comes to mind.

Oh, yes, we know all about LOL's bad reputation around here! Some of us *coughcoughguiltycoughcough* get quite, um, vehement about it, especially when someone has the audacity to say, "oh, what pretty hair! When are you going to donate it to Locks of Love?"

Anyway, OP- to me, shaving one's head in support of a charity or friend/family member with cancer is ostentatious. It screams, "LOOKIT HOW SPECIAL AND AWESOME I AM!!!" If I were ever to lose my hair to a disease and my people shaved their heads, I would be insulted and guilt-ridden. In fact, I'd prefer people grew their hair out for me so that I could live vicariously through their growing experiences.

I'm a blood donor, and I've been doing it almost fifteen years now. But I don't run around with a t-shirt on that says "HEY I'M AWESOME 'CAUSE I GIVE BLOOD."It's just not who I am.

Long story short, don't feel bad/guilty for not wanting to cut your hair. We all know how much work goes into maintaining this lifestyle choice of being a longhair. Donate your time, your efforts, your money where-ever you feel it is warranted; do not feel bad about something special to you.

[Angela_Rose]

Yes, I completely agree here. They throw away so much of the hair- because it's too short, too grey, too coloured.........the list goes on.

And of course, they need to raise money too. So they just sell some of the hair to commercial wig companies etc, which means that the whole 'I'm donating hair for kids with cancer' thing doesn't really stand up, if hair just ends up being made into hair extensions or something.

The alternative would be selling hair yourself, and then donating the money to charity.

Then of course, it simply is money.

Which you could get without selling hair.

And thus, the whole hair-for-charity thing makes very little sense at all.


Except the wigs that LOL does make get sold to patients with "chronic hair loss," like people with alopecia or burn victims. Chemotherapy-related hair loss is (generally) not chronic, and therefore chemo patients don't qualify for LOL's policies.

[YamaMaya]

You can raise money for charity without giving up your hair. You've spent years growing out your hair and caring for it and I don't think it's fair to ask you to shave it all off for a fleeting moment of guilt. It's your appearence and you have to live with it, if they want to criticise, just politely inform them there are other ways to raise money.

[makeminea99]

Thanks, guys!! I loves you, I do!! :inlove: Once more team LHC has saved my barnet!!

[makeminea99]

You can also look at it mathematically. Your avatar says you're at 33.5". It should take 67 months at average growth rate to reclaim that. If you were to get sponsored £2000, that would be about £35/month. £3000 would be £50/month. If you can afford to, you could always self sponsor (since you're saving so much on hair cuts and shampoo), and raise the same amount of money. Win-win.:cool:

OOh that's reminded me - I've grown a bit since then (well, my hair has!) - it's 34" now. Thanks! ;)

[kdaniels8811]

As a cancer survivor that lost my waist length hair to chemo, cutting your hair does nothing for the person suffering. What does help is meals cooked, housecleaning, etc. People say "let me know if you need anything" but the chemo is so dehbilitating there is no energy to ask for help. Just my two cents, do not cut your hair!

[Alun]

I wouldn't cut my hair for any cause...even poor baby seals with cancer covered in oil and choking on plastic bags. People just want something sensational but I think most organizations would prefer you cut a check or donate your time and labor.

This is what I think, and to be honest I wouldn't cut my hair even if it somehow helped.


A lot of organization meant to use donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients have controversy surrounding them..
Lots of the hair isn't even used, and a lot of it is "missing" or supposedly turned into wigs and sold to other people.
Locks of Love comes to mind.

Their wigs aren't even for cancer patients (or for boys, for that matter). Nor have they ever said that themselves, to be fair. Somehow a lot of people think they are for cancer patients, but I don't know why?


As a cancer survivor that lost my waist length hair to chemo, cutting your hair does nothing for the person suffering. What does help is meals cooked, housecleaning, etc. People say "let me know if you need anything" but the chemo is so dehbilitating there is no energy to ask for help. Just my two cents, do not cut your hair!

My mum went through this, but we live very far apart these days, so I really couldn't do anything to help. Funny thing is, it was probably the only time in my life that she didn't ask me to cut my hair!

[makeminea99]

As a cancer survivor that lost my waist length hair to chemo, cutting your hair does nothing for the person suffering. What does help is meals cooked, housecleaning, etc. People say "let me know if you need anything" but the chemo is so dehbilitating there is no energy to ask for help. Just my two cents, do not cut your hair!

Thank you! It's good to get an opinion from someone who's been on the other end, as it were. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want anyone to do it on my account.