I'm freaking out

[Browneyedbelle9]

Right now my ocd is in massive overdrive- the back of my hair in the middle looks like I'm missing a huge chunk and the longer bits are on either side.

I'm not sure what to do now, and I now it's all I can think about.

I don't know whether to even it up or to leave it alone. I'm freaking out and I can't stop. Can someone please help me? If I cut my hair one length it will be at my shoulders or so but the longer parts are near my chest??

Help please

Everyone says it's fine, but I don't know anymore.

Does anyone rag on about long hair and how it looks unruly (my dad doesn't like it for example) and my bf couldn't care less

[lapushka]

Don't go off of one picture! For Pete's sake! Your hair hangs this way, this moment, that way, the next. Try taking *many* pictures first (brush it this way, then that way), and if at all you see the same thing in them, then by all means: freak out and come back to us!

[Wosie]

Did you cut your hair or self trim it recently? Please relax. :blossom: We'll try to help you.

[Firefox7275]

Don't self trim when you know your OCD is in overdrive, you know deep down that you cannot be impartial or make the wisest choices. What do you normally do to reduce anxiety: intense exercise or stress management techniques perhaps? Should you see your doctor for a medication review?

[schnibbles]

Whenever I feel like I'm going to freak out over my bangs (I'm growing them out and they make me feel so ugly sometimes I want to lose it) I put everything up in a bun and take a walk outside or have a cup of tea.
Are you just growing out some layers? It will be ok. :grouphug:

[embee]

It could be the way you slept on it or the way it dried in the towel after your wash. Hair has a life of its own. Relax. :)

If you think it looks odd, just pull it back if it's too short for "up". Put on some nice earrings and a bit of lip gloss, you'll be fine. Most people really don't notice anything.

[XcaliburGirl]

Well, hair looks different depending on how it lays or dries on a particular day. Are you basing this on one particular picture? Some people like to post a few pictures here and get a bunch of opinions.

You might want to put it up in a bun or braid, and not worry about it for a few days (even take a little break from LHC if you need to to forget your hair). Then, try micro trimming for a while if you really think you need to even out the hemline. That way you won't lose much length, but you'll be making progress in changing what you want to change.

[Sterlyn]

I have to echo what Lapushka and Wosie have said, and first take a deep breath:).

I have always regretted anything I did to my hair when I was upset, agitated or anxious, whether it was my hair that was upsetting me or something else.

Your hair may just be laying oddly, so by all means recomb and check again. You don't need to decide any time soon to trim, until you are sure that's what you want. I would wait until you are feeling calm and not freaked out before deciding that. :blossom: Putting your hair up may also help to redirect your focus from your hair,(which it sounds like you need).

Also :grouphug: cause it seems like you need it.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thank you everyone- my mum says if you pull it down it looks ok, it's just been about 3/4 months since a trim (I think) and if I go so long without trimming it I seem to freak out.

Also, I'm quite conservative and worry about what people think- my sister loves my hair and always tells me how nice it looks, but my dad (being sort of old-fashioned) says it makes me look like a child etc.

My hair pic was taken this morning and this is how it looks from the back (my mum took the photo)

I'm sorry for startling everywhere I don't want to make people mad because I'm an obsessive poster.

Anyway, this was the photo taken this morning-

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq115/seasononefluff/IMG_46361.jpg (http://s439.photobucket.com/user/seasononefluff/media/IMG_46361.jpg.html)

[AmyBeth]

Well, hair looks different depending on how it lays or dries on a particular day. Are you basing this on one particular picture? Some people like to post a few pictures here and get a bunch of opinions.

You might want to put it up in a bun or braid, and not worry about it for a few days (even take a little break from LHC if you need to to forget your hair). Then, try micro trimming for a while if you really think you need to even out the hemline. That way you won't lose much length, but you'll be making progress in changing what you want to change.

This is always good advice. Microtrimming rocks, because you are making progress, but not doing anything drastic that you might regret. If it means anything to you, your picture looks lovely. If you like fairytale ends, you are on your way to some beautiful ones! I think OCD lies to people, and try to use your rational brain to not listen to it (that's a really clumsy way of expressing what I'm trying to say, I hope you understand).:grouphug:

[Browneyedbelle9]

Here are some others

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq115/seasononefluff/newincludingbirthday173.jpg

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq115/seasononefluff/newincludingbirthday048.jpg (http://s439.photobucket.com/user/seasononefluff/media/newincludingbirthday048.jpg.html)
http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq115/seasononefluff/newincludingbirthday048.jpg (http://s439.photobucket.com/user/seasononefluff/media/newincludingbirthday048.jpg.html)

[Tangle or Curl?]

It just looks like the section in the middle has a kink in the end and is not lying as flat as the other ends at the moment to me. I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe take one with it wet and a comb stretching it or something?

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thank you Amybeth- do you think a trim would hurt?

I'm going on vacation to QLD (I live in Perth, wa) and I want to have really long hair- but my mum keeps saying to me to leave it alone, because she knows I get upset easily.

It means a lot to me that you (Amybeth) and everyone on this forum takes the time out to reply xxx so thank you.

ETA: Thank you Tangle or Curl, I probably need to straighten it out properly. Again, I appreciate all the advice x

[Wosie]

Your hair and your hair's quality is looking nice, first and foremostly! I was wondering about something--when you last trimmed your hair, was it very evenly cut then, or was it a tad uneven to start with?

By the way, the necklace in the first picture of this page looks very much like one of my favourite pair of ear rings. :thumbsup:

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thank you Wosie- the heart is from my boyfriend- he's got good taste ;) I'd love to see a pic of your earrings.

To be honest- I'm not sure- here's a pic of when it was cut- not sure how to show it as there isn't one taken from the back but looks even-er there if that's possible- and that's what bothers me- here it's been straightened, parted of the side and I believe a tad shorter than it is now

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq115/seasononefluff/new50613010.jpg (http://s439.photobucket.com/user/seasononefluff/media/new50613010.jpg.html)

[Johannah]

If it bothers you - cut it. If it doesn't - don't.

My hemline is a bit weird too, so I put it up everyday so I don't think about it. Maybe you can try this too?

[Migranny]

I think it looks fine.

[woodswanderer]

Maybe you should just leave it as it is for now and go on vacation. Try not to worry about or focus on it, and decide what you think is best after vacation so you can be calm when you make the decision.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thanks so much everyone- as long as no one points at me and thinks- Gosh it looks so horrible (I don't know, I hear that voice inside my head a lot, self consciousness is a mean &*^* anyway thanks.

Vacation isn't until November and I've never been on a plane, so I'm nervous while my bf is pumped. Lol

It's funny Johannah because your hemline looks great lovely and thick in your profile pic- so maybe it's the way we perceive thing I just don't want to look odd or freaky.

[patienceneeded]

You hemline looks just fine! If you're bothered by it, try wearing it up for a few days to forget about it. Honestly, it really does look fine. Very pretty color too.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thank you so much Patience needed- I will leave it and if I decide once I'm in a better frame of mind, I'll go the hair dressers and just get a dusting.

Thanks everyone so much.

Patienceneeded- the colour is my natural but there are blonde/brown highlights growing out or coloured by the sun x

[Johannah]

Thanks so much everyone- as long as no one points at me and thinks- Gosh it looks so horrible (I don't know, I hear that voice inside my head a lot, self consciousness is a mean &*^* anyway thanks.

Vacation isn't until November and I've never been on a plane, so I'm nervous while my bf is pumped. Lol

It's funny Johannah because your hemline looks great lovely and thick in your profile pic- so maybe it's the way we perceive thing I just don't want to look odd or freaky.

It's because I brushed it perfectly after a wash. In normal days it doesn't look like that :p maybe that's your 'issue' too, huh! If you wake up tomorrow it might be exactly as you want, or when you wash your hair and brush it afterwards like me as well.

[swearnsue]

My hemline gets uneven because the hair on the top of my head grows about twice as fast as the front! If I trimmed the back to be even with the front I'd never make any progress.

I think your hair looks beautiful.

[cosmic crusader]

Aw. Breathe. I have OCD too, and I hate those racing thought loops. Distract! Put your hair up, and do something non-hair related. Time to look into that piano playing :]

Your hair looks beautiful! I love your waves!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Your hair looks lovely! Remember, too, if you want your hair long, don't cut it off! Trim as little and as infrequently is possible.

Your hair, being wavy will lie differently all the time, from one minute to the next. Take my hair in my siggy pic, it has been carefully brushed and combed to hide any gaps. It gets gappy all over the place as it clumps itself together as I move around. I think if you dampened your hair and combed it carefully and then checked your hemline you would find it perfectly fine. It just has a mind of its own sometimes. Like mine.

So don't worry. And tell yourself every morning when you wake up "My hair is longer today than it was yesterday". :)

[Dovetail]

I agree with the others, your hair is lovely! I would put it up in a bun, or braid it daily for a month or so, then take it down and take a look. If it's up, you won't notice what is bothering you, and it'll give it time to grow out.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thanks everyone you made me feel so much better, and you're all been so kind to me. xxx

[Kate199023]

Boy do I know about OCD Right now. Mine is in overdrive right now too. I freak out on every strand I find. Your hair looks every pretty. Wish mine was that long lol

[restless]

First of all, remember the 2 week rule we live by here :)

Second- I was expecting a true mess when I read the title and your first post. Then I scrolled down and saw the picture of a lovely head of hair and all I could think was "Huh? Whats the fuss all about?". Dont worry, your hair looks great and the waves are amazing. I´ll echo what the others have said and wait a little, look at the hair again and then if needed, do a small microtrim- nothing drastic here and now!

Pictures arent all that great on reflecting reality sometimes- its a 2D image that´ll only catch you and your hair as you appear for one brief moment and sometimes that one moment looks weird. It has happened to me too, Ive seen pictures taken of my hair and though it looked too flat/too uneven/too thin or whatever but then when I look in the mirror its fine. Id say dont go so much after the pictures (and especially not just ONE single picture).

[AmyBeth]

The bigger pictures really show how beautiful your hair is. Such lovely wurls, I'd kill for them! I think you should wear it up and forget about it until you can calm down and make a thoughtful decision about it. Although if it were me, I'd do no more than microtrimming. It's too pretty to cut off any appreciable length, IMHO.

[ErinLeigh]

Thanks everyone you made me feel so much better, and you're all been so kind to me. xxx

you're so pretty! No need to freak out. It's all in your control. Just remember that. It looks nice.
Its also getting long! If cutting worries you then just grow until you are ready to deal with your concerns. No significant harm ever came from putting it up and pausing I am sure :)

The issue with waves are you just never know what's accurate. Its hard but I found I have to stay away from scissors when I have bad hair thoughts - if I trimmed everytime I though I was uneven Or something would be above chin easily. And at times have been so have learned my lesson.
There are days my right side looks way longer then my left. Or days I am convinced there are uneven patches all over. The way I see it is hair grows a little irregular anyway so I can't let myself adjust what I think it needs everytime or no progress will be made.

When you go for your next trim talk to your stylist about your concerns but let her know if it is uneven or damaged in her mind you aren't ready to "fix" the whole thing now. Wear a striped shirt and show her exactly what your limit is on what you want trimmed. Just remember you are in control and can have as much or little done as you want.

[ErinLeigh]

Also. I don't think you need to be at shoulder for what you are thinking is straight across.
Right now it fairytales which to me looks good on waves. It you want straight line with waves a little below APL would do it. No need to go as short as shoulder at all !
The issue is though no matter how straight a stylist cuts when you have natural waves it's still will have variety in length. That's what makes waves interesting to me. They can look different day to day. That's a good thing :)
Honestly though I like your hair as is and it would not make me stop and comment negatively. That's just the OCD bothering you. I hope you are feeling better. You really are gorgeous and there is no need to worry about anything regarding appearance at all.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Thank you so much Erinleigh for your kind words :)

*hugs everyone in the forum close*

I really appreciate the time you take to answer my silly questions <3

I want to get a little trim maybe next week- but obviously I don't want to be super obsessive either.

I need to wash my hair and learn to put it up lol xxx

[Federica]

I know how one can get obsessive about the hemline, sometimes I just want to cut like 5 inches and start back but it would be cutting WAY TOO MUCH for me.
I can tell you that microtrimming rules, you don't have to manage a great change on your look and see the emprovement in a few months.
Here was my hair when I just joined the LHC and hated my ends, in september 2013, compared to my last lenght pic, january 2014:
http://i.imgur.com/a5jGBnIl.jpg http://i.imgur.com/TeMLPe3l.jpg

Despite the bad quality, you can see the actual lenght has remained the same, more or less, but the ends are in a much better shape.

[spidermom]

It looks like you have a couple of sections where the hair grows much faster than in the other sections. If the uneven appearance bothers you, just trim a little bit off those two sections. From what you've said in other posts, it doesn't sound like your stylist is particularly supportive, so I wouldn't go back to her if I were you.

The ponytail under the chin trimming method that I described to you in a different thread is very easy to do. Try it sometime, preferably after vacation.

[AmyBeth]

I know how one can get obsessive about the hemline, sometimes I just want to cut like 5 inches and start back but it would be cutting WAY TOO MUCH for me.
I can tell you that microtrimming rules, you don't have to manage a great change on your look and see the emprovement in a few months.
Here was my hair when I just joined the LHC and hated my ends, in september 2013, compared to my last lenght pic, january 2014:
http://i.imgur.com/a5jGBnIl.jpg http://i.imgur.com/TeMLPe3l.jpg

Despite the bad quality, you can see the actual lenght has remained the same, more or less, but the ends are in a much better shape.

Your hair is gorgeously wurly, too. I'm kind of sweet on fairy tale ends, so I like the first picture as well as the second.

[mindwiped]

I can't tell for certain, but to me it looked like you might have a few strands partly tucked into the collar of your blouse in that first picture. Otherwise, it may just be the way your waves are laying after your last wash.

If it were me, and my OCD, I wouldn't touch it with scissors...if I did, I'd keep trimming, trying to make it 'perfect', and with my natural wave, it never will be perfectly even on my head, so I'd end up with 3 inches of hair, and dealing with a panic attack. As the others have all said, pull it back or up, and ignore it for at least 2 weeks. If it still feels uneven and is bothering you then, begin to consider a microtrim. To me, your hair looks lovely, and I wouldn't touch a strand with scissors.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Can a microtrim be when the hair dresser only trims less than inch of the ends?

[Sarahlabyrinth]

A microtrim is when you trim about a quarter of an inch off, really just a tiny tiny bit.

[ErinLeigh]

Can a microtrim be when the hair dresser only trims less than inch of the ends?

If stylist doesn't understand microtrim try using the word dusting. Depending on the person depends which word they truly grasp. You can show her with your fingers as well as a marker point on your back.
Just make sure you speak before the cut to let her know your plans for growing.
I get mute and frozen once in the chair so I find its best to discuss right when you come in..before you get too cozy. At least in my case that is how it is.

[Browneyedbelle9]

Everytime I come in she knows just the very ends, so it's barely anything off at all, no one notices the change except for me, but it feels a lot better and seems to look better.

I am contemplating trimming it regularly again as I have pieces that have split all the way up, but I know I need to take better care of my hair and not let get into a knotted mess.

Once again, you guys are all so sweet :D

[ErinLeigh]

If it is split I would microtrim regularly until they are gone. I microtrimmed for a year and hair grew better than ever. I wasn't losing length due to breakage and the trims were so minor, but so helpful. I maintained half inch month of growth. (basing this on pics, I never measured) It kept everything clean. I would do about 1/8 inch every 2 months, once or twice maybe 1/4 inch. You can easily microtrim and grow. I am a fan or fresh ends so I will always be a trimmer. I Just have to learn to stop the big cuts.