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georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 06:40 AM
Do you have a particular mindset that helps you reach your long-hair goals? What keeps you motivated and how do you stay on track as you pursue your hair-y ideals?

Knowing proper hair care techniques is vital. But I think having the proper mindset is really important, too, if one wants to achieve and maintain healthy long hair. This Long Hair business is not for the faint of heart (or mind)!

Perhaps we could use this thread to share our mental techniques for growing long, beautiful hair.

I'll be happy to start, but my mental tool bag is a little empty and my hair is still pretty short. But for now I try to set mini-goals. For example, my New Year's goal was to have no trims and no heat styling until April 1st and then reward myself with my first Ficcare. Well, that didn't work. I know, I know. It's only January 20th and I've already failed my first mini goal. So now I know I need to make my mini goals much shorter. Lesson learned. :rolleyes:

All right, who will be next?

gillybeanxo3921
January 20th, 2014, 06:44 AM
I take monthly pictures of my hair :)

Saldana
January 20th, 2014, 07:08 AM
After the basic "no heat no friction hair-friendly toys etc" routine, I would say my number one hair-growing mind trick is to put it up and keep it up as much as possible, as soon as it is long enough to do so. Out of sight, out of mind. It's just up there growing. :)

CurlMonster
January 20th, 2014, 07:10 AM
I agree with gillybean, taking regular length photos helps to hold me accountable. I take them about every three months, and so I like to see a lot of progress between them.
I also think not caring about what others think of your hair is very important. Wearing braids and buns doesn't impress people in my experience, but it's good for my hair so I put that ahead of other people's opinions. It's the same when others tell you you should cut/dye/style your hair - you have to know well what you want and stick to it!

georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 07:14 AM
That's a good tool, gillybean!

I was just thinking that a Long Hair mindset would also include any beliefs one has that support the choice to have long hair. So I'll add that I think long hair would compliment my self image as an independent minded older woman. Long graying hair just isn't the norm where I live.

georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 07:17 AM
I agree with gillybean, taking regular length photos helps to hold me accountable. I take them about every three months, and so I like to see a lot of progress between them.
I also think not caring about what others think of your hair is very important. Wearing braids and buns doesn't impress people in my experience, but it's good for my hair so I put that ahead of other people's opinions. It's the same when others tell you you should cut/dye/style your hair - you have to know well what you want and stick to it!

This ^^ for sure, Curl Monster. And I agree with putting it up and forgetting about it, Saldana.

Saldana
January 20th, 2014, 07:21 AM
That's a good tool, gillybean!

Long graying hair just isn't the norm where I live.

This is also absolutely a factor where I live (urban Portland)...there are a LOT of women my age where I work, and very few of them have non-dyed hair, much less long hair. I periodically have to struggle with my commitment to not dye my graying hair. It's even harder than not cutting it. So - add to the list a strong commitment to being myself and comfortable in who and how I am!

arr
January 20th, 2014, 07:22 AM
Looking at inspiring pictures of long beautiful hair really helps me when i feel my motivation slipping. My current goal is no trims except s&d from May 2013 to May 2014. Its been hard but its necessary, so pictures keep me on track. Also, i visualize how it will feel to have long hair touching my hips and lower arms, and remind myself of the styles i want to do once i get enough hair. I also remind myself how difficult it is deal with my hair when it is shorter than bra strap length- how it doesn't lay right, its too thick to put up, it seems to just need heat styling. Those are some of my mind tricks.

Siowiel
January 20th, 2014, 07:26 AM
I have a mental picture of my "ideal self" and this image has long hair. Period. Me as a short hair would be an epic failure in my mind because it would mean deviating from my ideal. So I'm really not inclined to cut my hair in a drastic way.

GoddesJourney
January 20th, 2014, 07:31 AM
I refuse to cut or trim again until it's long enough to do it myself again. I hate paying for a haircut I will regret anyway, so I just do nothing until it bothers me again and I have the same talk with myself. I use the same trick to keep myself from keeping junk food in the house. I just consider it not worth the money.

I hate my hair at this length, although it's getting better (longer). My best thing is to just try to ignore it as much as possible. Unless I'm actively washing it I try to forget it's there. My hair will grow just fine on it's way own as long as I don't mess it up.

Also, I appreciate long beautiful hair on others and remind myself that I will get back there soon.

georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 07:39 AM
arr, I was just visiting another forum where they were discussing how to help a young girl change her mindset and learn to love her natural hair. They used the same example you gave of surrounding yourself with beautiful examples of your hair ideal. I also like the visualizing technique that you mentioned. I do have an image of my hair all at waist length and brushing against my elbows. My "ideal self" as Siowiel put it.

ravenheather
January 20th, 2014, 07:45 AM
My mindset is that I don't want to look just like everyone else. To me I want to become more of who I am naturally meant to be. That is a long haired person. It may not be princess hair but I try to let go of ideals and grow it as healthy as I can. And I wear it up everyday right now as it feels like I am in an in between stage.

georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 07:57 AM
I refuse to cut or trim again until it's long enough to do it myself again. I hate paying for a haircut I will regret anyway, so I just do nothing until it bothers me again and I have the same talk with myself. I use the same trick to keep myself from keeping junk food in the house. I just consider it not worth the money.

I hate my hair at this length, although it's getting better (longer). My best thing is to just try to ignore it as much as possible. Unless I'm actively washing it I try to forget it's there. My hair will grow just fine on it's way own as long as I don't mess it up.

Also, I appreciate long beautiful hair on others and remind myself that I will get back there soon. Our hair appears to be at about the same length with layers and all. And I've told myself the exact same thing about paying for a hair cut!


My mindset is that I don't want to look just like everyone else. To me I want to become more of who I am naturally meant to be. That is a long haired person. It may not be princess hair but I try to let go of ideals and grow it as healthy as I can. And I wear it up everyday right now as it feels like I am in an in between stage. I especially relate to your "princess hair" comment. Same here! :agree:

Chromis
January 20th, 2014, 08:04 AM
Mindset? I don't think my hair cares much how I feel about it :lol:

I take nice care of it and it grows! Very simple.

MeganE
January 20th, 2014, 08:11 AM
I have wanted long hair my entire life and had it for most of my life. Sometimes I chopped it all to shoulder length because I saw how cute it looked on someone else, and once I'd done it, I appreciated how nice my ends felt, and repeated the chop a few times throughout my life. If I'd known how to keep it in good enough condition that brushing never equaled ripping, I might never have cut it. I think that the desire for long hair came from growing up with Disney and being an idealist at heart. Long hair was always something I was trying to achieve, but never really did it well.

Then ten years ago I found middle eastern dance, and long hair was no longer optional, it was a very necessary part of my appearance for performance. I chopped it a few times in the last decade to try to get good ends, (thinking that would lead to length,) and studied hair care, and after a long.... long.... long road.... a road that eventually led to LHC.....it's long enough and healthy enough that I am satisfied with it. Anything from here on out is a bonus.

(Have you tried bellydance?)

Reading between the lines of your post, I'm guessing you have either had shorter hair your whole life, or at least for a very long time? I see you've been here far longer than me, but I don't know you well and I think I'm going to go ahead and go against the norm here and suggest to you that requesting ideas for reinforcement of your goal makes me wonder what your hair goals might be. Is length really what you want?

If you aren't sure, I'd suggest making your goal that you are happy with your hair, and that you are open to it being anything that makes you happy, whatever color, length, style that may be. Experiment with what you have, do something different with it. The culture of this forum tends not to embrace or make use of the enormous number of choices that are available for hair modification in our culture because they are contrary to the great lengths, and because without clear communication and an artistically inclined stylist, it can easily end in disaster.

But since at the moment you don't have great lengths, I would support making sure you've ruled out loving the shorter styles, before you commit to length. If I didn't feel in my bones like I truly need long hair, I'd be visiting salons every couple months for adorable, layered shoulder-length highlighted cuts, with dye and teasing and all the fun that goes along with that. And I'd still be using what I know from this forum to maintain it and keep it looking good. I know the shorter styles suit me, maybe even better than this mop I carry around with me every day, but I can't have them and have length when I need it, so I choose length. I know it's right for me, at least for now, but if things in myself were a little different, it might not be.

So take it a little at a time, starting where you are now. Forget the last few years, where are you now? I have seen people struggle for years to grow it long only to find out they were never happy with it throughout the journey and they aren't happy with it now that it's long either. I would say to them, don't put the goal so far out. Figure out what you can do to enjoy your hair today, and do that. Then figure out what you might like your hair to look like next month, and do that. If long hair is part of that or becomes part of that, then it does. If not, then it doesn't. This isn't really a forum just for long hair, it's for enjoyable hair, good looking hair, spectacular hair, in general. Many people come here to figure out how to enjoy long hair, but there are others who come and figure out that for them, enjoyable, spectacular, good looking hair is shorter hair.

And if while you were reading my post, you were shaking your head going no no no, I want, I NEED long hair!! then you probably already have the mindset and just needed to believe it. :)

And if you were reading it and feeling like you don't know what you want, I'm going to be bold and say do some research, find a spectacularly talented stylist, and go put yourself in their hands. Truly. Be open about your needs with them, make sure you trust them and have a good talk with them first, and walk out if it doesn't feel right. And don't you dare set foot in there if you don't know for sure that you'd walk out of it felt wrong!!! I and many others have had great salon experiences and it always starts with great communication, in my opinion. Of course there are the bad ones, but there's more to life than that.

Best of luck to you!! You've been here long enough to know that whatever you decide, the community will embrace you.

I don't know how to end this, except to say... hope I helped? A little at least?

DancingQueen
January 20th, 2014, 08:15 AM
I have found, that the last year or so, I am loving to pamper myself more and more. So when I feel like I need it, I will take a home spa night. I bathe my feet in hot water and some nice bathing salt, I give myself a facial, cover my body in my favorite lotion, pluck my eyebrows, do my nails... And put on a hair mask, of course (typically coconut oil, avocado oil or olive oil), whatever I feel like needs to be done. Of course I often light some candles and put on a girly (or sometimes, not so girly) movie.

I found that enjoying it is key; as long as you like pampering yourself and your hair, then naturally, it will make these routines a little easier. :) Of course, curiosity towards new knowledge and teqniques always helps.

neko_kawaii
January 20th, 2014, 08:29 AM
I leave it alone and it does its thing. I don't give it deadlines, don't take supplements or apply topical mixtures asking it to grow faster. I don't ask it to look like something it doesn't or wont without enormous effort.

Long hair simply suites my lazy personal appearance habits.

Madora
January 20th, 2014, 08:50 AM
I've never had a mindset regarding long hair. I've always wanted it and kept it long for long periods of time.

I think the 3 main hurdles to having long hair are genetics, hair care routine and tons and tons of patience. Many long hair neophytes are attracted to the idea of long hair but don't have the willingness to put up with several years of dedicated maintenance (at least) to achieve it. And many are seduced by the "latest cute cut" and want to try that and out comes the scissors.

Hair boredom is another bump on the road to having long hair. If you don't learn many styles, you become frustrated that you can't do anything with your hair...and give up the long hair goal.

I adore long hair and wish I could grow it longer (it's just lurking at knee) but anything longer just isn't ringing my chimes as it is difficult to crown braid hair when you've run out of arms.

Scarlet_Heart
January 20th, 2014, 08:54 AM
I have found, that the last year or so, I am loving to pamper myself more and more. So when I feel like I need it, I will take a home spa night. I bathe my feet in hot water and some nice bathing salt, I give myself a facial, cover my body in my favorite lotion, pluck my eyebrows, do my nails... And put on a hair mask, of course (typically coconut oil, avocado oil or olive oil), whatever I feel like needs to be done. Of course I often light some candles and put on a girly (or sometimes, not so girly) movie.

I found that enjoying it is key; as long as you like pampering yourself and your hair, then naturally, it will make these routines a little easier. :) Of course, curiosity towards new knowledge and teqniques always helps.

Ahh, I LOVE doing that once in a while too. I should do that very soon again. Enjoying taking care of your hair, pampering yourself, it feels so luxurious. It reminds me that having long hair really is a luxury.

My favorite thing to do is to light some candles, use my moroccan clay (from henna sooq) and scent it with tea rose oil and use it for a facial mask. And I wash my hair with peppermint castile soap and use my rosewater soap. Ugh. I feel like a million bucks after that. And I always massage my face with jojoba oil after a shower.

Silver Sister
January 20th, 2014, 09:08 AM
Motivation: The hairdresser lives next door to my Mother and has chided me about avoiding her. I studied the look of her customers, older women (like me ;)) with chop-chop, heavily colored, matte-flat, dull, lifeless, stiff, crunchy hair, that looked artificial. Whenever I visit Mother, the customers are lurking about; I'm inspired to take better care of my tresses, comb gently, wash sparingly, and let-her-grow!

Since joining the forum, my hair shines again! How many women over 60 do you know that have shiny hair?

georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 09:23 AM
Mindset? I don't think my hair cares much how I feel about it :lol:

I take nice care of it and it grows! Very simple.

Ah, Chromis, there's one in every crowd! ;)

MeganE, a very thoughtful and thought provoking post. I continue to hang out here at TLHC because I truly love and appreciate long hair whether it's my own or someone else's. But I'll ponder some more on my personal hair goals.


Madora, I'm glad you mentioned the boredom issue. I wonder how many "I gave in and cut/colored/etc..." posts have been prompted by that very thing.

kittenface
January 20th, 2014, 09:29 AM
To be honest, the number one thing that's really helped me grow my hair out over the past three years is thinking of it as a competition. Not that I'm competing against other people, I think that would just make me feel bad about my own hair, but I'm sort of competing with myself to make my hair longer and healthier than it's been before. I'm trying to beat my own record, in a way.

proo
January 20th, 2014, 09:39 AM
I am enjoying the self-sufficiency of caring for, trimming and improving my hair daily,
without reliance on anyone else, or products for that matter -
NW/SO for 2 years -
my 55 year old hair is healthier, shinier, thicker and longer than it's ever been, ever.
This is so empowering to me.

Taenarian
January 20th, 2014, 09:51 AM
Very simple for this one: longer hair = more hair toys = yay

It's fun to learn more and more on my hair journey - what I thought I knew about my hair care isn't really true that often! The more I learn about my own best practices, the more I learn about myself and I feel that's fine mindset to achieve my thurdworthy goals :)

DweamGoiL
January 20th, 2014, 10:04 AM
I just wanted to pop in and post an inspiring picture of Goldie Hawn. Sure, it's not long by LHC standards, but it's wonderful to see a woman in her 60's with long hair:

http://www.allure.com/hair-ideas/anti-aging/2013/top-haircuts-for-women-in-their-sixties#slide=5

I do feel that keeping long hair is a mental state and that not everyone is in an emotional or mental place to grow it out. I also feel I want to be the best natural me I can be. I still haven't come to terms with my grays and so I henndigo, but I know for a fact that at my job where I work with at least 50+ other women of varying ages, I am the only one that henndigoes and the only one over 40 with long hair. I think most people would consider it unnecessarily difficult and archaic. But yes, I do think you have to throw other people's preconceptions about yourself out the window and come to truly accept and commit to what YOU truly want.

YamaMaya
January 20th, 2014, 10:21 AM
My trick is "out of sight out of mind" I don't like my hair right now, and I won't like it until I have my dream of blunt hemline classic length hair, so I just don't look at it unless necessary. If I don't stop myself I find I'm checking the length every single day on the off chance I've finally reached another milestone. My current mission is no trims for 6 months, and I see long hair as it's own reward, but perhaps if I reach hip I'll buy a really indugent hair toy :).

jacqueline101
January 20th, 2014, 10:29 AM
I also look at pictures for inspiration and try to keep my faith up. I know that I must take care my self and hair properly. I found benign neglect to help me along in my hair struggles. To wear it up, give it monistat, and condition and leave it alone.

cathair
January 20th, 2014, 11:08 AM
I really, really, really don't like short hair on me. I don't feel like me without long(ish) hair, it's an integral part of my identity, so I don't need a long hair mindset. I had shoulder length hair once and hated it. Although my hair is arguably not that long or in that great condition, the idea of having short(er) hair is just very uncomfortable to me. So even if I get annoyed with my hair, the idea of cutting it wouldn't cross my mind.

Johannah
January 20th, 2014, 11:19 AM
Some people think I'm not able to get my hair long and healthy. And I'm like: you better watch me.

trolleypup
January 20th, 2014, 11:39 AM
Before LHC my growing technique was (more or less) benign neglect and not cutting, after, discounting a period of experimentation, was benign neglect + s&d through a years long stall, and then more benign neglect while my life situation changed somewhat and somewhere in there, the end of the stall, now more benign neglect...and maybe this afternoon I can find a sunny calm spot outside to do some S&D.

Learning techniques to keep it out of the way has kept the "frustration cutting" urges away for a long time.

truepeacenik
January 20th, 2014, 11:57 AM
General philosophy- I like long hair. I like long hair on me. I'm happier with length that gets comments. My personal image of myself is enhanced by looking the part.

Specifics- if I cut I have to sell all my hair toys. ;) if I cut, I have to pay more to maintain shorter styles. And although I could rock a pixie, I don't think I want one.

TiaKitty
January 20th, 2014, 11:59 AM
I leave it alone and it does its thing. I don't give it deadlines, don't take supplements or apply topical mixtures asking it to grow faster. I don't ask it to look like something it doesn't or wont without enormous effort.

Long hair simply suites my lazy personal appearance habits.

All of this, plus when I was little, a cousin had thigh-length hair, and I always found it fascinating and beautiful. I always wanted long hair as a result. And I have had it all of my adult life.

When I graduated high-school my family talked me into cutting to a shoulder length bob and perming. The devastation I felt afterwards has never left my mind! I cried and cried for a good couple of days; my eyes were so swollen shut that I could barely see! Never, ever again will I do that to myself...

Plus, it is just plain easier for me than doing upkeep!

&rea
January 20th, 2014, 12:09 PM
My mind set is that healthy hair is always prettiest. I have to take care of it now in order for it to look the way I want when I reach my goal length. For example, my hair would look very nice straightened, but that causes damage and splits. It would cause me to need to get it cut. It's more damage than it's worth. So I just go with my natural texture (straight with some waves and flips here and there). Soon I'll be able to do all sorts of styles like braids, buns, etc. and they will look so much prettier on healthy hair.

Dovetail
January 20th, 2014, 12:17 PM
I really just ignore it's length. sometimes I tilt my head back in the mirror and think "oh so close!" What my goal really is, is to hear little girls whisper "mommy is that a princess!?"

I've been trying to wear it up more to prevent damage, but I'm really a down hair girl at heart. I've been getting more into S&D since the winter's been tearing my hair up.

faellen
January 20th, 2014, 12:32 PM
I take monthly length photos. Helps motivate me when I compare them. Looking at beautiful long hair pics on pintrest and on here helps too!

ejking2
January 20th, 2014, 12:35 PM
I love long hair and I'm emotionally attached to mine. I've always wanted to grow it very long. I just didn't know how to take care of it properly, and hairdressers always cut too much off. So when I found LHC, I was thrilled to learn how to take care of it properly and trim it by myself. No motivation needed :)
I don't get tempted to cut it. I just go through periods of benign neglect.

AmyBeth
January 20th, 2014, 12:51 PM
I love long hair and I'm emotionally attached to mine. I've always wanted to grow it very long. I just didn't know how to take care of it properly, and hairdressers always cut too much off. So when I found LHC, I was thrilled to learn how to take care of it properly and trim it by myself. No motivation needed :)
I don't get tempted to cut it. I just go through periods of benign neglect.

I think you took the words right out of my mouth, ejking2. I never decided I wanted long hair. I think I was born wanting it, from my earliest memories. I've always had long hair, admittedly not very nice hair, because I didn't really know how to take care of it. I thought you washed, conditioned, blew it dry and waited. Always trying whatever new shampoo came out, promising shampoo commercial hair, and just thinking I had "bad" hair that just didn't look good. So I had a brief few years when I big chopped, worked in a salon and learned how to "process" my hair. But after a few years, I knew that I wanted my long hair back. Thanks, LHC, for teaching me how to take care of it, so that it can be the best that it can be!

swearnsue
January 20th, 2014, 01:45 PM
I like the feel of my hair because it's soft and sleek, so being able to brush it and look at it in the sunlight keeps me motivated. Also maybe a little bit of F U to all those that keep saying older ladies need to cut and perm their hair!

My mother would have a cow if she saw how long my hair is! She hasn't seen it down in a couple of years.

Madora is one of my inspirations. I want to have my hair long enough to braid it and just wrap it around my head and hold in place with 9 hair pins! *sigh*

pri108
January 20th, 2014, 02:23 PM
Do you have a particular mindset that helps you reach your long-hair goals? What keeps you motivated and how do you stay on track as you pursue your hair-y ideals?

Knowing proper hair care techniques is vital. But I think having the proper mindset is really important, too, if one wants to achieve and maintain healthy long hair. This Long Hair business is not for the faint of heart (or mind)!

Perhaps we could use this thread to share our mental techniques for growing long, beautiful hair.

I'll be happy to start, but my mental tool bag is a little empty and my hair is still pretty short. But for now I try to set mini-goals. For example, my New Year's goal was to have no trims and no heat styling until April 1st and then reward myself with my first Ficcare. Well, that didn't work. I know, I know. It's only January 20th and I've already failed my first mini goal. So now I know I need to make my mini goals much shorter. Lesson learned. :rolleyes:

All right, who will be next?

Dear Georgia,

You hit the spot. when i was trying to grow my hair it was disheartening to see no growth/progress.but then again i was looking in the mirror after every couple of hours.
I couldn't agree more with Saldana, a few days or a week after having your hair tied up, it does look longer and feels motivating.
Oh and I made a decision to not let a hair dresser cut my hair because for some reason whenever i go to a hair dresser and tell her, i want my hair long so please don't cut it short, they would always cut it short. I guess long means something different in the dictionary hairdressers used.

pri108
January 20th, 2014, 02:28 PM
My mind set is that healthy hair is always prettiest. I have to take care of it now in order for it to look the way I want when I reach my goal length. For example, my hair would look very nice straightened, but that causes damage and splits. It would cause me to need to get it cut. It's more damage than it's worth. So I just go with my natural texture (straight with some waves and flips here and there). Soon I'll be able to do all sorts of styles like braids, buns, etc. and they will look so much prettier on healthy hair.

I totally agree. I came across this beauty expert called loepsie on youtube. she has put up some videos on how to make beautiful hair styles. braids and what not. you should check it out. But for the most part you are right there is no hair style like healthy hair

pri108
January 20th, 2014, 02:29 PM
My mind set is that healthy hair is always prettiest. I have to take care of it now in order for it to look the way I want when I reach my goal length. For example, my hair would look very nice straightened, but that causes damage and splits. It would cause me to need to get it cut. It's more damage than it's worth. So I just go with my natural texture (straight with some waves and flips here and there). Soon I'll be able to do all sorts of styles like braids, buns, etc. and they will look so much prettier on healthy hair.

I totally agree. I came across this beauty expert called loepsie on youtube. she has put up some videos on how to make beautiful hair styles. braids and what not. you should check it out. But for the most part you are right there is no hair style like healthy hair

georgia_peach
January 20th, 2014, 03:06 PM
...(snip) Wearing braids and buns doesn't impress people in my experience, but it's good for my hair so I put that ahead of other people's opinions. It's the same when others tell you you should cut/dye/style your hair - you have to know well what you want and stick to it! I keep returning to ^^ this part of an earlier post. In the last six months, I made a major move across the state to a new job and new home in a very small town where everybody knows everybody. And everyone is more than happy to give you their unsolicited opinions about any and everything you do, say, etc.... As much as I fight it, I've been influenced by a desire to impress others. Hmm. It's actually pretty embarrassing now that I realize what's going on in my head.

Decemberrose
January 20th, 2014, 03:09 PM
Just think about it this way...
Your hair is longer tomorrow than it is today :D always growing...

I try not to think much about hairgrowth, but can't help checking my roots every week ;)
Mini goals seems to work for me.

chen bao jun
January 20th, 2014, 05:03 PM
Ignoring. Other. People.
Everytime I have done what other people like, instead of what I like, I've been deeply unhappy. this has nothing to do with hair, but I remember going shopping with a friend once when I was younger and more easily influenced. I really really wanted this red coat I saw. She AND the saleslady spent half an hour convincing me that the red coat was horribly impractical and I needed to buy a grey houndstooth coat. I bought the gray houndstooth coat and when we came home she proudly told my husband how she saved me from the red coat. I was so furious, I felt like I was choking but kept smiling.
I must have been 28 or 29 then.
I'm 56 now and I have three red coats. And I'm much better at tuning people out. I had a lot of practice when I decided to stop putting permanent straightener in my hair in 2001, years and years before youtube and the craze for natural hair. I just stopped doing it, everyone said my hair looked awful, I ignored them, and lo! ten years later people were stopping to compliment me on the street on how great it looked (because it was in style). So now I decided I wanted long hair and have been told a certain amount of nonsense about how I can't wear it in a bun, that's aging and looks too plain, but again the same thing is happening, this past 6 months, I see all the young girls wearing buns and I think its actually short dyed hair that's aging and looks plain...Anyway, I am again getting a crazy amount of compliments, including from people who were rude initially...
But I don't really care. I want my hair this way now. If I ever decide I want to cut it off, I will, but I don't see that happening.

Komao
January 20th, 2014, 05:06 PM
Mindset? I don't think my hair cares much how I feel about it :lol:

I take nice care of it and it grows! Very simple.

I love simplicity.

lapushka
January 20th, 2014, 05:08 PM
Yes, one particular mindset: ease. Nothing more, nothing less. Long hair is *easy* for me. It's in an updo 6 days out of 7, and down on wash day. Wash day is a bit of a challenge, but not so much as having to style short hair 24/7.

ravenreed
January 20th, 2014, 05:14 PM
My only mindset is to enjoy my hair at every stage. If I don't, I do what ever I need to to enjoy it again. Trim, clarify, dye, what ever it is that will make my hair look better to me. If I didn't like my hair at one length, I probably wouldn't like it looking the same way but longer. So far it is working.

Komao
January 20th, 2014, 05:29 PM
I leave it alone and it does its thing. I don't give it deadlines, don't take supplements or apply topical mixtures asking it to grow faster. I don't ask it to look like something it doesn't or wont without enormous effort.

Long hair simply suites my lazy personal appearance habits.

Well, your lazy habits gave you a beautiful head of hair. However, I do once in awhile while oiling my hair, say a little prayer for some magical growth. I just like that ritual and it's growing but I'm sure it's just doing its thing. :o


I've never had a mindset regarding long hair. I've always wanted it and kept it long for long periods of time.

I think the 3 main hurdles to having long hair are genetics, hair care routine and tons and tons of patience. Many long hair neophytes are attracted to the idea of long hair but don't have the willingness to put up with several years of dedicated maintenance (at least) to achieve it. And many are seduced by the "latest cute cut" and want to try that and out comes the scissors.

Hair boredom is another bump on the road to having long hair. If you don't learn many styles, you become frustrated that you can't do anything with your hair...and give up the long hair goal.

I adore long hair and wish I could grow it longer (it's just lurking at knee) but anything longer just isn't ringing my chimes as it is difficult to crown braid hair when you've run out of arms.

I too just adore long hair. I agree with you about hair boredom being a big problem for some. It's really not for me. I just try to learn new styles, as you suggest and I guess I'm just so committed to long hair that if I live long enough and with a little luck, I can grow it to possibly your incredible length:o

leslissocool
January 20th, 2014, 05:39 PM
My POV might be very unpopular, but I think people who change their hair a lot might have issues with certain commitments. To me, my long hair is a long term relationship. So I treat it as such.

My sister, who has commitment issues, changes her hair way too often to keep count. At one point she did have long hair because of my mom, but eventually at 12 she took control and she saw hair as a way to express and reinvent herself. I don't see myself as someone who reinvent themselves, rather as some who adds stuff to whatever I am (like to a list of skill, I'm not a new person but my skills keep adding up ect, while my sister likes the feeling of being brand new and exiting).


I also changed my hair the most when I was very afraid of commitment in relationships, then I got married, and now after years of commiment I don't see it as a big deal, rather, a part of me. Before I feared it like it was the plague.


So in a way, my mindset is commitment and follow through. I think that's where many people have a hard time.


ETA: It also occured to me, maybe the reason why I prefer long hair is because I am somewhat afraid of changes. Growing up, I didn't live in the same country with the same language for longer than 3 years, it wasn't until I was older and left my abusive family that I settled into a country. You know that feeling when you leave the salon with a new cut, that different feeling? I really, really dislike that. I like routine and I like monotony because of my upbringing. So, I think that's why when I finally was able to somewhat cope with myself and go for what I wanted my commitment issues disapeared, and I didn't feel like I should dye my hair green the next day.

ErinLeigh
January 20th, 2014, 05:47 PM
I look at pictures of me with shorter and longer hair. The shorter to remind me of what I had, The longer to remind me to get it back.
Visualizing helps me. I like to "see" myself with my dream hair. Doing that is keeping me from doing anything drastic to prevent it.
I am probably a year away from solid APL. Once I get past that hurdle the rest will mentally easier for me. I just keep reminding myself "time flies" and to "enjoy the journey" It helps with my impatience.

ErinLeigh
January 20th, 2014, 05:50 PM
I like the feel of my hair because it's soft and sleek, so being able to brush it and look at it in the sunlight keeps me motivated. Also maybe a little bit of F U to all those that keep saying older ladies need to cut and perm their hair!

My mother would have a cow if she saw how long my hair is! She hasn't seen it down in a couple of years.

Madora is one of my inspirations. I want to have my hair long enough to braid it and just wrap it around my head and hold in place with 9 hair pins! *sigh*

You have some of the most beautiful hair I have ever seen! It is the perfect FU hair :)

Komao
January 20th, 2014, 05:57 PM
Leslissocool, I think there's a lot of truth to what you wrote. :)

EdG
January 20th, 2014, 06:27 PM
I too see long hair as part of me. I don't give it any thought. :cool:
Ed

Sarahlabyrinth
January 20th, 2014, 06:50 PM
I just try to treat it gently and keep it bunned. I look at photos of beautiful hair and take a monthly photo of my hair, then I can compare photos and see the growth happening, which is great motivation. I visualise myself at Classic length and imagine what lovely big buns I will be able to make at that length.

When I get discouraged about my growth, I put it up and forget about it as much as possible, and I tell myself that my hair today is longer than it was yesterday - and that I am getting there!

And sometimes I go off into a flight of fancy and imagine my hair a year from now....

My SO often tells me that my hair looks lovely and that is always inspiring as well.

PS. If I ever get the urge to chop it off due to frustration, I tell myself that whenever I have done this in the past, I have enjoyed the new cut for all of a couple of days and then I desperately want my long hair back, which has taken so long to grow.

So I know it would be foolish to make the same mistake for the third time... I am just a long haired person and don't feel like "me" with short hair. Plus I know so many different ways to put it up now - and there is always the possibility of buying a new hair toy from time to time as well!

AmyBeth
January 20th, 2014, 07:11 PM
Ignoring. Other. People.
Everytime I have done what other people like, instead of what I like, I've been deeply unhappy. this has nothing to do with hair, but I remember going shopping with a friend once when I was younger and more easily influenced. I really really wanted this red coat I saw. She AND the saleslady spent half an hour convincing me that the red coat was horribly impractical and I needed to buy a grey houndstooth coat. I bought the gray houndstooth coat and when we came home she proudly told my husband how she saved me from the red coat. I was so furious, I felt like I was choking but kept smiling.
I must have been 28 or 29 then.
I'm 56 now and I have three red coats. And I'm much better at tuning people out. I had a lot of practice when I decided to stop putting permanent straightener in my hair in 2001, years and years before youtube and the craze for natural hair. I just stopped doing it, everyone said my hair looked awful, I ignored them, and lo! ten years later people were stopping to compliment me on the street on how great it looked (because it was in style). So now I decided I wanted long hair and have been told a certain amount of nonsense about how I can't wear it in a bun, that's aging and looks too plain, but again the same thing is happening, this past 6 months, I see all the young girls wearing buns and I think its actually short dyed hair that's aging and looks plain...Anyway, I am again getting a crazy amount of compliments, including from people who were rude initially...
But I don't really care. I want my hair this way now. If I ever decide I want to cut it off, I will, but I don't see that happening.
Awwww. That story about the red coat is the sweetest thing I ever heard- I mean that now you have 3! You go, girl! Isn't it fun to be a grown-up?:)

LauraLongLocks
January 20th, 2014, 07:59 PM
I've had my hair short, and it was okay. I look good with short hair. As a youth, I never had my hair longer than APL-BSL, and more than once had a pixie. Then I grew my hair to about MBL, but didn't know any styles. I kept it between BSL and MBL for several years, but still didn't know any styles. I thought I should get layers and do heat styling so that I would have a style. I liked my new look, but the heat styling took upwards of 45 minutes to an hour to accomplish. Soon I was back to no style at all, and then came the big chop of 2008. My kids got lice, and I had it, too. So, I cut all the boys' hair, picked through all the girls' hair, and called my husband telling him to be prepared for lice picking my head when he got home from work. He told me he couldn't do it that night, and it would be the next day. So, I did something very impulsive. I ponytailed my hair and chopped the ponytail off. I was back at a pixie, and I was able to nit pick myself. I regret that pixie cut now, but at the time I enjoyed it some. I really thought about keeping it short, because I got so my compliments on how good it looked, how it took 10 years off my face, and how it framed my face so nicely. Well, that's all fine and good, but I soon missed my long hair. I didn't feel like ME with short hair. In fact, I saw an old friend from high school (I had a short pixie in high school) while my hair was short, and I wanted to tell my friend, "I know you haven't seen me in years, but this hair, this isn't how long my hair is... I have long hair, not short hair!" It was then that I really knew my hair needed to be long so that I would feel like myself.

So, I grew it out again, and over the summer last year, I started looking for styles. I was at the same boring MBL abyss as I was when I resorted to heat styling before. I knew I couldn't keep up with heat styling on a daily basis. I had already learned that keeping long hair up was a big key for me in getting it to long lengths while still being healthy. I had already learned about CWC washing. I just needed to find some styles to make the long hair fun. I was in a serious rut of using a segmented ponytail (caterpillar ponytail) as my go-to style. I hated it, and I knew it looked ugly, but it was fast, and using scrunchies made it fairly damage-free (except the ends were always rubbing against my clothes). My search through YouTube and Google brought me here many times and I lurked. I finally decided to join in October. Now I've learned so many styles I am happy to do something new every day. I don't have to repeat a style for at least 7 weeks. That's awesome!

So, my long hair mindset is knowing I have long hair, even though it's not long enough yet. It will be. I have a goal to make it to 60" which is about calf length for me. I envision myself with super-length hair. That's just who I am inside, a super-length long hair. I'm loving my hair now more than ever, enjoying each new 1/2" to 3/4" every month. The only thing that would make my hair better is MORE of it.

ravenreed
January 20th, 2014, 09:12 PM
I also try to remember the compliments to keep me inspired. I was wearing my hair in a side braid today, nothing special because I was wearing a winter hat out and about. Someone stopped me and complimented my hair and told me never to cut it. Made me feel all :crush:

chen bao jun
January 20th, 2014, 10:00 PM
Interesting. I'm not saying you're right, but i also moved a lot (my family was not abusive though) and I also just HATE change.

I love it that my hair is the same now as when I was a child.

My sister also does all kinds of things to her hair--and also isn't too good at relationships (married three times, divorced three times) while I've been with the same guy since I was 18 and just love our boring routine life.

I not only moved a lot but our family was chaotic. Not abusive but there was always plenty of drama, usually with my mother's relatives, which I extremely disliked. I love my relatives, it was the drama I disliked.
Off topic but this is a true example. Chen phones family and says she is coming home for a visit from college. Mother responds, Great! We'll be happy to see you! What do you want me to cook? But--watch out for the man with the gun.
Chen: Man? Gun?
Mom: It's your Uncle Thingamajig; he's sleeping in your bedroom by the way, so you'll have to sleep on the living room couch--do you remember how he left his (third) wife and ran off with her sister? (Who is also sleeping in your bedroom). Well, the sister's husband is kind of upset and came up from the country where we're from and he's hanging around our house with a gun---

The story was a lot more complicated even that that--but you get the gist. It was like that ALL the time.


My POV might be very unpopular, but I think people who change their hair a lot might have issues with certain commitments. To me, my long hair is a long term relationship. So I treat it as such.

My sister, who has commitment issues, changes her hair way too often to keep count. At one point she did have long hair because of my mom, but eventually at 12 she took control and she saw hair as a way to express and reinvent herself. I don't see myself as someone who reinvent themselves, rather as some who adds stuff to whatever I am (like to a list of skill, I'm not a new person but my skills keep adding up ect, while my sister likes the feeling of being brand new and exiting).


I also changed my hair the most when I was very afraid of commitment in relationships, then I got married, and now after years of commiment I don't see it as a big deal, rather, a part of me. Before I feared it like it was the plague.


So in a way, my mindset is commitment and follow through. I think that's where many people have a hard time.


ETA: It also occured to me, maybe the reason why I prefer long hair is because I am somewhat afraid of changes. Growing up, I didn't live in the same country with the same language for longer than 3 years, it wasn't until I was older and left my abusive family that I settled into a country. You know that feeling when you leave the salon with a new cut, that different feeling? I really, really dislike that. I like routine and I like monotony because of my upbringing. So, I think that's why when I finally was able to somewhat cope with myself and go for what I wanted my commitment issues disapeared, and I didn't feel like I should dye my hair green the next day.

Islandgrrl
January 20th, 2014, 10:28 PM
I don't think of having long hair as a mindset. It's just who I am.

Snorman
January 20th, 2014, 10:35 PM
Taking photos of my hair, using castor oil and chem-free shampoo and condish (well.. Sort of. As a natural redhead I need something to boost my color, and I don't know about any chem-free solutions for that yet...).
No heat (except for weekends when I'm in a musical that requires some brutal hair-dos :/), no tight up-dos, lot of braids.
And a loooot of prayers to the Hair Gods. I want my long hair!

Andeee
January 21st, 2014, 12:45 AM
Well, since I found LHC I do have a mindset! That's not to say I didn't have long hair before. I did, and back in those days (many of them pre-internet) I just found that I suddenly had long-ish hair and decided to go with it. I didn't do anything in particular to take care of it other than using shampoos and conditioners from the health food store (where I worked) and on occasion a deep conditioning treatment.

I really felt right with long hair and at the time I was getting into folk music and going to (later working at) the PA Renaissance Faire. Long hair is almost mandatory for that!

My hair got to almost classic and then I did get a bit bored, thought I should look more polished (had no idea how to do any updos or buns at the time and didn't realize I could use a bit of product both natural and commercial to smooth out my waves and fly-aways). So a couple of times it got cut back to mid-back, but it always just grew back so fast!

I'm glad I found LHC because these days I do need the extra boost and support and tips on hair care since I lost so much of it a couple years ago when I was severely anemic. And now that I'm soon to be 50 I need the support in that way, too. I may need it if I decide to let the grey do it's thing as well.

clioariane
January 21st, 2014, 01:43 AM
I go on Pinterest for long hair inspiration and think about how nice it will be to have waist-length hair in the summer ;)

Tini'sNewHair
January 21st, 2014, 04:03 AM
I always do what i feel like when comes to my hair/body/goals etc. If i wanted a short bob i did it, if i wanted to dye my hair red, i did it, if i wanted bangs, done! What i cant handle very well is when other people (hairdressers) does something completely unexpected to my hair, may that be that they chop WAY to much or that I get a different style bob than what I initially asked for this upsets me a lot!!!
Presently, im letting my hair grow to my goal of classic. This is something I want, I think I was at this goal only once in my life and that was in maybe 5th grade.
I like tracking my growth a lot so each month I take a photo of my length and measurements.
Do what you want, you cant go wrong with that :)

ositarosita
January 24th, 2014, 11:37 AM
I just feel like a mermaid and I want to look how I feel. So I just strive to look on the outside how I feel on the inside. (If that makes any sense to anyone)

NativeSparrow
January 24th, 2014, 11:43 AM
What is S&D??? Sry, Newbie :)

patienceneeded
January 24th, 2014, 11:45 AM
This is also absolutely a factor where I live (urban Portland)...there are a LOT of women my age where I work, and very few of them have non-dyed hair, much less long hair. I periodically have to struggle with my commitment to not dye my graying hair. It's even harder than not cutting it. So - add to the list a strong commitment to being myself and comfortable in who and how I am!

Funny. I live in Portland too and have had entirely the opposite experience. I have a feeling I would be chastised by everyone I know in Portland if I cut or dyed my hair at this point...

AmyBeth
January 24th, 2014, 11:54 AM
What is S&D??? Sry, Newbie :)

Search and Destroy. You go through your hair, looking for splits or other damage and trim them off.

meteor
January 24th, 2014, 12:18 PM
1) Patience and gentleness with detangling, washing and any other handling. Treat it as you would "antique lace", silk or cashmere.

2) Working with hair rather than against it: accepting its texture, type, porosity, colour, etc. Variety and fun can be achieved through elaborate updos and braids, but not so much through dyeing and new haircuts as these are not long-hair-friendly practices.

3) Realistic expectations for growth and condition. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

4) No freak-outs when hair misbehaves: I can't afford to chop off all my hair if it feels really dry due to weather/product or any other variable, I patiently wait, oil, condition, clarify, or do whatever else is required.

5) Keep it simple. It's only hair and it's dead. Don't abuse it but don't think you can "nourish" it either.

ellenajordans
January 24th, 2014, 01:30 PM
To be honest I can understand it when people say that it's hard to grow your hair, because you just reduce the amount you cut i. I look after my hair well so that I did change but it wasn't much effort. However I can see how it's different for people with really short hair because it can get to that awkward length when you just want to cut it!!! a

It can be so frustrating though when you calculate that it's going to be X amount of months until your hair is a certain length and you just want it now. I have been taking a lot more care of my hair lately and I love the way it's looking which is very motivating. So yeah, my motivation technique is looking after my hair really well!!!

Madora
January 24th, 2014, 02:36 PM
What is S&D??? Sry, Newbie :)

NativeSparrow, be sure that when you Search and Destroy that you use sharp scissors. Dull scissors will only create another crop of white dots (which you don't want).

Also, be sure to do it in good light so you don't strain your eyesight.

To help find splits, take a small section of hair (pencil size) and twist it gently all the way to the end. Check any popped up ends for splits or white dots or fairy knots.

Of course you can also just take up a thin section of hair and check the ends for damage and snip away. Split ends are not just confined to the ends of your hair. They can be found all along the strand.

The best way to avoid splits is to keep your hair moisturized and protect the delicate ends by wearing your hair up. Good luck!

Ashflower89
January 24th, 2014, 03:14 PM
I had to think about it for a bit, but I think my long hair mindset is just a matter of not feeling like "myself" with short hair.

I had shoulder - collarbone hair most of my life, but cut it off into a pixie after high school(2009) because of some identity and self-esteem issues. I was a late bloomer in every aspect, and felt suddenly rushed to grow up when I graduated, but had no clue what I wanted to do or even who I was. I changed personalities daily.... trying to figure out what fit me, and at some point I just decided it would be cool to go super-short. Something new, edgy, unexpected.

I rode the mullet train all the way til it reached collarbone again, and then cut a second pixie(2011). Lopped the mullet off on the second go because I felt SO ugly/disheveled growing out the first one, and right when it hit solid shoulder... cut a third pixie(2013). To be fair, the second pixie was meant to removed damage, but since I wasn't ready to give up dye, more dyed damage had to be cut off a third time when I finally swore the stuff off for good, because I refused to live with two-toned hair. My natural is dark ash blonde, and my last dye was blood red, so I went through several toners, removers, and dark ash blonde dyes to match my roots the best I could.

It feels like I've been in a constant state of pixie-growing-out ever since the first chop, with all the old "who am i?" feelings lingering with the short hair. I'm long over it and learning how to be comfortable with myself again, but I just don't feel "right" with short hair. I will feel much better at collarbone, but my long-term goal is waist just to see if I can do it. It's exciting to think of the new styles I've never been able to do before, and to just feel better overall.

Ashflower89
January 24th, 2014, 03:17 PM
Oops, double post!

LaurelSpring
January 24th, 2014, 04:13 PM
I visualize or feel into my growth. Some of the things I know how they feel because I was at TB, so now I remember how much I liked it when my hair tickled me below my shirt and I want to feel that again. When I was visualizing classic length I had this way of "feeling" how I thought it would feel when my hair was that length. I also have a "not this" approach in that I know what I don't like now since I had a few indecisive moments and did a few chops with layers. With those behind me and knowing how unhappy I was with that I am much more focused on what I do want. Plus, now that I am doing the curly girl method its like I have a whole new head of hair to work with and I am loving it so much more and want to see all of these wonderful waves longer now. It has taken many years to get here but I feel like I finally have all of the factors in place so I don't get frustrated like I did before.

Sevenof91
January 24th, 2014, 04:33 PM
I'm a bit obsessed with my hair care now and whenever I see someone back comb their hair it physically makes me wince. I just imagine the hair shaft scales all being dragged back and being raised upwards.

Also though, I have noticed that the longer my hair gets the shorter I seem to think it is.

hypersensitive
January 24th, 2014, 11:06 PM
I kept pictures of my long hair idols in the length and style I adored. Funny thing is when I looked through them recently, my hair has gotten longer than most of theirs!

It really just takes a lot of patience. I mean, can you think of any other beauty regimen with goals years into the future? You also have to take into account how much you really really want it. Think of your happiness, because we should be doing things that make us happy anyway.

I know that I want my hair to get super long, but I also really want to dye it. I decided that even though the dye will damage my length, I'm still going for it because it would make me unhappy if I didn't. -Watch for it! This summer, my ends will be purple! It will be so awesome!

BlueMajorelle
January 24th, 2014, 11:35 PM
I always get excited when I can make one new extra plait in my braid than I could before.

MissHoney
January 24th, 2014, 11:46 PM
I don't know what long or even medium length hair feels like, but I can say that the mindset is very visible here online in a way that I would never see in person. I've never seen hair past butt length in person. It's a very different, romantic type of beauty that I see here online than I would ever see on the street, especially in NYC -- theres a million places for hair like that to get caught, you have to really love hair as a hobby to take time from your day to care for it and put it up rather than get it done/cut, the constant need to look 'polished' (magazine shiny, trendy style), etc! Once I saw it here -- even though I will never have 'long flowing hair' without straightening -- I wanted it! I realized fast that I needed to soak up the lifestyle first before I can even take the first baby steps.

mariakatija
January 25th, 2014, 12:19 AM
I don't know what long or even medium length hair feels like, but I can say that the mindset is very visible here online in a way that I would never see in person. I've never seen hair past butt length in person. It's a very different, romantic type of beauty that I see here online than I would ever see on the street, especially in NYC -- theres a million places for hair like that to get caught, you have to really love hair as a hobby to take time from your day to care for it and put it up rather than get it done/cut, the constant need to look 'polished' (magazine shiny, trendy style), etc! Once I saw it here -- even though I will never have 'long flowing hair' without straightening -- I wanted it! I realized fast that I needed to soak up the lifestyle first before I can even take the first baby steps.

I do count this as a hobby. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, learning about, practicing it, etc. For me, it's fun.

MissHoney
January 25th, 2014, 12:38 AM
It surely is a hobby!! No Doubt. But I also meant it in the context of, it's really really hard to make time for it with a "new york minute" lifestyle. I imagine going 3 weeks without washing because I literally have no time to detangle (it happened) would not work with knee length hair! :)

Stray_mind
January 25th, 2014, 01:38 AM
I allway imagine myself with long hair and i know that it suits me way better than short hair. I also take monthly pictures and am extremely excited with what i'll get each month. I like searching for gentle elastics and buying bobby pins and other things for my hair.