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mallorykay13
January 18th, 2014, 04:16 PM
Okay ladies. So, I was very active on the forum about 2 years ago. Since then I have just done benign neglect and grown from waist to approaching BCL. I wear my hair up almost every single day. My problem is that my hair has started to matte, horribly. Every week when I go to wash it I have to sit for about 2 hours finger combing out all these knots, and some of them are very tight (and although small) need cut out. Is it because I'm lazy and don't usually detangle my hair on a daily basis and let it down? I normally will put it up in a nautilus and then put it up in a cinnabun for bed, not taking it down (laziness). Do I need a trim or something? Maybe I just need someone to tell me this damage is due to me not detangling more regularly.

Firefox7275
January 18th, 2014, 04:33 PM
Have you clarified and chelated lately? How are you treating the lower lengths and ends to account for its older age/ increased damage?

LauraLongLocks
January 18th, 2014, 04:37 PM
If I slept in an updo, my hair would be tangled badly in the morning. I take mine down, detangle, oil, then wear mine loose or in a loose braid inside a sleep cap. I wake with few or zero tangles in the morning.

mallorykay13
January 18th, 2014, 04:38 PM
I haven't clarified lately, and I think that's part of the problem. I haven't been doing much lately, just washing and conditioning and putting it up. I suppose in that way I've been neglecting my ends as well. I think a big part of the problem is my hair seems to feel almost like it's in clumps near my scalp, and the hair is sort of stuck in laying in one position. I don't know if that made sense at all.

mallorykay13
January 18th, 2014, 04:39 PM
LauraLongLocks This may be my problem then. I always assumed that it would keep from tangling if I kept it up.

Fairlight63
January 18th, 2014, 06:11 PM
I have to comb my hair every day to get out the tangles or I would have to cut my hair off to my chin. I have 2a hair & can not get a comb through it without putting a little olive oil on my hair. It really helps to get out the tangles. Also I shed a lot & it helps to get the shed hair out or pretty soon I would have a matted mess. The last few days I have been bending over & massaging my scalp then combing it to get the tangles out then brushing with a natural bristle brush, it feels so good & is good to get out the loose hairs. Maybe it will help to keep the loose hairs in the hair brush & not all over the house. Also, hopefully it will increase my hair growth too. I know that it makes my hair feel a lot better - cleaner or something. I think that just twisting my hair to put it in a bun causes tangles. I have even found little I guess they are called fairy knots in my hair - I do NOT know how they get in my hair!!

DweamGoiL
January 18th, 2014, 06:34 PM
I sleep in a cinnamon bun atop my head with a sleep cap so I don't think the sleeping with an updo is the problem per se, but IMO, not detangling your hair on a daily basis with hair that length is just asking for trouble. Definitely clarifying/chelating is worth trying.

PrincessBob
January 18th, 2014, 06:59 PM
I have really tangly hair, and while updos prevent a ton of tangles, just like with braids, there will still be pieces that migrate and wrap around each-other if the majority is left in the same configuration for too long. Detangling more often will be helpful in preventing some bad tangling. It needn't be daily, if that just doesn't work for you, but every other day, or every other other (third?) day, at the least if you aren't a curly, would be a good idea.

Islandgrrl
January 18th, 2014, 07:03 PM
Benign neglect doesn't mean that you don't care for your hair. Theres nothing benign about allowing your hair to become hopelessly tangled or matted.

I practice benign neglect on a regular basis and have for years. What that means, at least to me, us that I have a very minimalist routine. CO or WO as needed, damp bun, detangle with my fingers when dry, oil the ends whenever I remember and check the ends a couple times a year to see if I need a trim. I sometimes use a tangle teezer just because it feels really good. I *just* bought a sleep cap because it sounded like a great way to prevent sleep-related tangles. No fancy products, no growth enhancers, no crazy supplement routines and pretty much no obsession over my hair (which is not to say I have never obsessed over my hair....I totally have).

I hope you can figure out a way to conquer your tangle issue. Tangles are the devil.

MeowScat
January 18th, 2014, 07:06 PM
I had the same problem. Try the clarifying, chelating and maybe a good ole SMT.

If you wear your bun on top of your head, bend at the waist, with your hair hanging in front of you, detangle, then put it in a bun. Next day, bend over again, undo bun without standing back up, detangle your hair while it's hanging down in front of you, put the bun back in while still bent forward. Saves a ton of mechanical damage that way.

Oh, while you're at it, check for splits and do an S&D if needed. I just did that the other night and the comb glides through much easier now (of course that won't help the scalp tangles, but it'll help with length tangles).

cathair
January 18th, 2014, 07:19 PM
Was just thinking about S&D too. If mine becomes unbearably tangley, it's usually time for a good S&D.

kidari
January 18th, 2014, 10:11 PM
I had the same problem. Try the clarifying, chelating and maybe a good ole SMT.

If you wear your bun on top of your head, bend at the waist, with your hair hanging in front of you, detangle, then put it in a bun. Next day, bend over again, undo bun without standing back up, detangle your hair while it's hanging down in front of you, put the bun back in while still bent forward. Saves a ton of mechanical damage that way.

Oh, while you're at it, check for splits and do an S&D if needed. I just did that the other night and the comb glides through much easier now (of course that won't help the scalp tangles, but it'll help with length tangles).

I completely agree! Bending forward at the waist is how I detangle my hair daily. I always make sure to scritch my scalp really good or massage it once a day. I don't leave my hair in the same bun all day, because if I do that my scalp might start to hurt, so I take down my bun and detangle bending forward at the waist and reposition it into a new bun. Benign neglect is good but it's also good to monitor your hair and it's needs. Do minor trims or S&Ds, oil the length more, deep treat, and clarify once in a while. I used to have the opposite problem and I would obsess and do way too much to it all the time. Either way, you just learn more and better smarter ways to grow it out healthier and easier.

furnival
January 19th, 2014, 01:09 AM
If you don't detangle your hair daily, how often do you detangle?
My hair mats horribly if I leave it more than one day.

embee
January 19th, 2014, 08:08 AM
I must detangle (comb/brush) my hair every day or I have a mess. Usually take it down morning and evening to detangle and put into a new (different) bun - a "day" bun and a "sleep" bun.

Benign neglect is my routine also, but it doesn't mean to me what it seems to mean to you.

Pamala513
January 19th, 2014, 08:39 AM
Yes, I too met dangle every day , twice, nice after I wash it in the am and again before I braid it for bed. Otherwise, I would have a pixie.

Madora
January 19th, 2014, 09:01 AM
Daily detangling with a comb really helps limit the possibility of accumulating "mats" because you didn't detangle.

Before trying clarifying, I'd definitely try to detangle as much as possible. The clarifying shampoo leaves your hair feeling very rough and unappealing. Be sure to do a deep conditioning treatment after clarifying.

Wearing your hair up really helps keep your hair in prime condition. Wearing it down is an open invitation to tangles and damage. Of course you can wear it down once in a while, but be mindful to detangle it from time to time during the day. Don't leave detangling until the end of the day..when you're tired and not in the mood to detangle your snarls.

YamaMaya
January 19th, 2014, 09:21 AM
Oil up the hair before you go to detangle with some olive oil, then the tangles will slip out easier and with less breakage.

pwettyfleur
January 19th, 2014, 09:48 AM
my hair used to tangle like crazy so i cut a bunch off and started again, and now its silky and needs minimum care. try brushing more then if that doesnt work, consider cutting it a bit shorter. Maybe the fear of the sissors will persuade you to brush more?

teela1978
January 19th, 2014, 10:12 AM
I don't detangle daily, but every other day at least (I also wash every other day-ish so that might help). Cones help me with tangles, are you using any these days?

mallorykay13
January 19th, 2014, 10:40 AM
Message received ladies. Thank you all so much. I think bending at the waist and detangling my hair every day will help me bunches. i also haven't clarified or S&D'd lately, so both of those things are on my to do list. Most of my problem was battling some mental health things, so my hair took a back seat. I know that what i WAS doing to my hair was neglect and definitely not benign, which is why I started this thread. Bending at the waist to detangle is something I hadn't thought of before. This will help me greatly. My hair is still growing and the ends look nice and thick, so I'm sure that the damage I've done isn't completely warranting a chop, but I won't grow it to classic with thick ends with my old habits. :) Thank you all!!!!

spidermom
January 19th, 2014, 10:44 AM
I would advise that you comb it out at least once per day.