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WoolSweater
January 10th, 2014, 03:34 PM
Feel free to be honest. Everyone can share their true opinions while being polite, so that's all I/everyone else asks!


"In real life", a lot of people judge women with short hair. Things like calling them a d*ke or negative connotations that short hair always means the woman is gay (clarifying here by saying the gay comments aren't always negative, some are general "oh, she has short hair, she must be gay"), that short hair is unfeminine, that the woman has "let her self go". I've heard many other comments from men, all stemming from the basic belief that long hair is beautiful, and short hair is not. I know some men who will not date a woman with short hair, and some women do not think they would be attractive without length to their hair.

Now I realize this is a long hair blog, so for clarify sake, let's say anything between a buzz and a chin length bob equals short hair.

How do you feel about women with short hair? If you don't like it, why? So many people seem to have negative connotations to short hair, and I'd like to know why.

If you have ever had short hair, what changed your mind to grow it long? Just a personal decision, or did you feel pressured to have long hair? For you who have long hair, if for some reason you had to cut it short, do you think you would feel less attractive? Or would you cut it short then say f- you to anyone who doesn't like it?


(I've looked through a couple other topics here about short hair/long hair, and none touched on the reason why/why not, or encouraged discussion about the general consensus about short hair, so I'm going to post this here despite there being one or two threads about a year or older that lightly touches on lengths.)

GoddesJourney
January 10th, 2014, 03:47 PM
I don't judge on hair length at all. I might notice the condition and color if either is out of the ordinary.

Funny thing with men. I thought cutting off all my hair would stop men from looking at me. However, as it turns out, they just look at your body more when they're not distracted by your hair. A couple of my guys laughed at me for not seeing that coming.

Thumper
January 10th, 2014, 03:48 PM
For many years during my teens and then again in my 20's I rocked a pixie cut and got allot of compliments for it. Now as I have been getting older, the thought of short hair on *me* is somewhat unsettling. I admire women that feel free from their hair...that the length doesn't hold them hostage because many times that's how I feel about trying to achieve a certain length.

Soltimus
January 10th, 2014, 04:11 PM
I think short hair cuts can be really lovely, I don't mind them at all. (Well, there's ONE kind of short hair cut I don't like. It's this generic one every lady over 40 I work with seems to have. I don't get it. It's just short. Period. Maybe with a bit of poof at the top/back. It's like the hair has just given up). When I was in my late teens to early twenties I used to just cut my own hair and keep it short. It wasn't the prettiest look, granted, but I suspect it had more to do with my not so awesome skills and lack of interest in hair, ha ha!

My own reason for growing it out was more like an experiment. See how long I could get it before it started to really get on my nerves. Usually me cutting it in the past was me getting annoyed with my hair getting in the way of everything. I've tried this for a few years but never as dedicated as I am now. I think at around 28 I had hair almost at BSL when I lost it and just cut it back to a pixie. Been trying to grow it out again since then, first with the "aid" of my hair dresser and then with the aid of LHC. I've reached waist now and I'm still sane! (more or less)

Rio040113
January 10th, 2014, 04:13 PM
I can't say as I've ever judged anyone on their hair length, short or long, other than to admire a style for example.

I don't buy into the short hair = d*ke stereotype at all, 2 of my closest female friends rock very edgy pixies, one is straight, the other is bisexual, both currently have boyfriends. I myself am bi and have almost BCL hair - interestingly enough I have been told many times that I ''look straight'' :shrug:

I like any hair length on another woman as long as it suits her :) I've had short hair (a very short graduated bob) and I didn't like it, I felt like it didn't suit me and I missed my 5th limb (my hair)! :lol:

owly
January 10th, 2014, 04:14 PM
I try not to judge other people's hair. I actually think a lot of women look great with short hair (myself included--I just think I look better with long hair). Short hair is really good at accentuating some features. I think women with high cheekbones or large eyes look really good with short hair.

I've done all sorts of crazy things to my hair, including shaving it. When I shaved it, I got so many compliments from women. Men, on the other hand, asked me if I was okay or if I lost a bet (with the exception of one guy who loved it and gave me all sorts of tips for keeping my scalp looking nice). One guy called me a d*ke. When I had really short hair, a lot of women told me they loved it and they wished they were brave enough to cut their hair short. There were some people who made mean comments.

I decided to grow my hair long because I think I style my hair too much when it's short, and the upkeep is ridiculous (professional cuts every 4-6 weeks). Longer hair also makes me look a little older, and since I teach adults and look very young, I'd like to look mature.

blue_eyes
January 10th, 2014, 04:23 PM
I don't really judge anyone for having short hair, but I do think some short hair cuts are more feminine than others. I think if someone doesn't think the cut is "feminine" then the "she's a d*ke" comments start, though in my experience it's been guys making these comments.

I actually had a bob for a year or so in high school, it was very layered and textured and I'd spike it in the back sometimes. I thought it was really fun, but then I got bored. There are many more things you can do with long hair (curl it, straighten it, put it up, leave it down, the possibilities are endless!). I also like feeling my hair long and all around me. I like feeling very girly and feminine, and I didn't feel that way with short hair.

bunnylake
January 10th, 2014, 04:29 PM
In my experience, the only people who make the lesbian comments about women with short hair are stupid pre-teen boys. It's very common for women to have very short hair where I live. Many of the women I work with keep their hair "boy short". I also see a lot of medium length and long haired women, too, so there's a wide variety in my area. I think it's safe to say that anyone who assumes a woman is gay because of her hair style is extremely ignorant. I mean that's just backwards and silly. It's 2014 and those people need to get with it.


This is my personal experience with my own long hair vs short hair:
I have had short hair all my life because as a kid it would knot up so badly my mother had to keep it short. I was a punky teenager, so I kept it short, dyed funky colors, teased, spiked, side shaved, etc. I had lots of crazy hairdos in my teens. In my early 20's I straightened it and dyed it bright pink, then red with a longer layer of black underneath. It was so damaged that I had to chop it all off into a short messy bob (myself!) and I decided to do something I'd never done before: grow it super long and healthy. I grew my hair to tailbone length. During that time I dyed it black, but then changed my mind and bleached it to a dark brown and began using henna. Despite the one time bleaching it, my hair was in excellent condition. For a few years as I was growing it long I felt that my worth was measured by how long my hair was. If I got a trim and the stylist took off too much, I would panic. I had nightmares about my hair being chopped off. I felt like I was in competition with a long haired ex best friend. I hid under my long hair and kept it even though I didn't always enjoy it. For some reason, I developed an unhealthy attitude about my long hair, and I decided I needed to chop it all off again.
It felt like I was pressing a reset button. As the length was snipped away, I felt like I was letting go a lot of my past. Old dye & bleach, imperfect ends, weird frizzy bits and just plain OLD hair... all gone. My hair is now a short bob with bangs and it has MUCH more volume at the roots. I had no idea my hair could look so full and voluminous! The length was a lot heavier than I thought and made my roots flat. Believe it or not doesn't get quite as greasy as it used to. I'm having fun with my hair again. I plan to grow it to around arm pit length, experimenting with different cuts and styles along the way. For me, focusing so much on the length took the fun out of having hair at all. I will always stick around LHC because I still appreciate very long hair on others, I love to talk about products and henna, and learning new tips for keeping hair healthy and strong.
What I worry about is will I always be accepted on this forum even though I don't want to grow my own hair long again? Will LHC judge me for going back to occasional heat styling? As a (former) longhair, I used to judge women on how much they willingly damaged their hair rather than how short they kept it. Now I find myself enjoying salon visits, blow drying my hair, looking into styling products, wanting to buy a shampoo *just* because it smells amazing and who cares whats in it, etc. All very non-LHC friendly things! What I have learned is hair is just hair, and maybe some of us need to remind ourselves of that. For some people it's important to have extremely long natural virgin hair, and to other people it's important to have the brightest neon pink punky hair imaginable, at whatever cost. :D I try not to judge women who bleach or straighten etc. anymore. If someone wants to learn how to have strong healthy hair, I'm happy to share my wisdom with them. If they WANT to keep bleaching and heat styling their hair, more power to them! Hair is dead, man.
We have to enjoy our hair, and allow others to enjoy theirs however they see fit.

*I* like my hair now, and if someone else doesn't like it, they can buzz off. :wigtongue Ooo, I made a pun.

Eliska
January 10th, 2014, 04:41 PM
I looooooooove short hair on women. Part of it's a bit of jealousy (for the last eight years, I have dated guys that have a Strong Preference for long hair, and haven't felt that cutting my hair really short is worth it), part of it is admiration (I am lazy and cheap! I do not want to spend time and money keeping a short style looking good!), part of it is that I rarely see women with short styles that don't work for them.

FuzzyBlackWaves
January 10th, 2014, 04:54 PM
I have a bit of a pre-set predjudice against women with short hair simply because my first boyfriend preferred short hair on women to the point of criticizing my hair (which has always been long since it suits my face better). As someone integrated into society I take notice of this in myself and correct it so that I treat ladies with short hair no differently than I would someone with long hair. I do, however, do an inward cringe of memories. It's the same with red or ginger hair for the exact same reason. I'm glad I left that guy.

thistledown
January 10th, 2014, 04:57 PM
No I like most hair long or short :) I don't judge.
Vanessa

chen bao jun
January 10th, 2014, 04:57 PM
I've had very short hair before (which looked sucky on me, I'm never doing it again) and nobody judged me or at least said nothing about it to me.

I teach at a Catholic college so when I see a woman with very very short hair and no makeup and--well, let's say, not super stylish clothes, I think it must be one of the nuns. They don't wear habits anymore but always have super short haircuts and often jumper kinds of things.

I have never known lesbians to be particularly obvious by the way they look or are dressed. There are things that can give you clues, if you want to bother guessing about someone else's life. An unusual amount of lesbians (at least that I have met) are seriously, seriously overweight, even more than the general population. Quite a few of them tend to harp on the horrors of men (though a lot of women do that who aren't lesbians). But I haven't really noticed them having shorter hair than anyone else. The most likely person to have a really short haircut, in my experience is any woman over sixty who goes near hairdressers (who like to do that to older ladies).

I don't know why anyone wastes their time guessing who is or who is not a lesbian, in my experience they are very anxious to tell you that they are and why they are and talk a lot about their 'partner'--you don't have to go around asking people if they are lesbians, they will tell you without being asked (and whether or not you are interested) much more than gay men. Probably because women tend to be talky like that, more than guys do.

Bene
January 10th, 2014, 05:13 PM
Nope. I rarely notice those types of things. I do tend to snicker at bad dye jobs though. If you're going to go through the trouble of dyeing your hair, why not pick a color that suits your skin tone?


Im terms of guessing someone's sexuality based on their hair length, that's utterly ridiculous. I've been on the receiving end of that.

Brujinus
January 10th, 2014, 05:17 PM
I had very short hair once and I found it incredibly annoying. Maintaining a medium-length cut is way easier for me, since you can just put it up and forget about it. I have never had really long hair, so let's see if I can deal with it or I will go back to APL and stay there forever :D I am looking forward to be able to make nice braids and buns... I think it's going to be fun.

I don't judge women on length. I have experienced myself how difficult is to have nice looking short hair and I even admire them. I admire even more those who have reaally short hair and don't care about it... I once met a girl who had shaved her head and seemed so peaceful and free (I met her in a meditation retreat) but I enjoy my hair and so does my DBF. Besides, I think it may send a too strong message to those around you, and even if your first intention was forgetting about your hair, probably it will deserve even more attention if you cut it really short.

Sharysa
January 10th, 2014, 06:10 PM
I don't judge women with short hair because that means I'd be judging about half my friends. Several of whom have boyfriends or husbands. I love short hair on myself, but not the maintenance/cost of keeping it up and definitely not all the straightening I had to do in high school to keep it looking nice.

And ironically, one of my longer-haired friends is the lesbian among us. XD So screw you, stereotypes.

shutterpillar
January 10th, 2014, 06:23 PM
I feel that however someone would like to wear their hair is their own personal choice and absolutely none of my business. :shrug: I don't base my opinions of people on how they wear their hair, how they dress, or basically anything about their outward appearance.

As an example, I know plenty of rough looking men and women who have the biggest, warmest hearts I've ever come across.

Stereotypes are just nonsense.

ravenreed
January 10th, 2014, 06:24 PM
I have had everything from a pixie to FT and loved everything along the way. If I went short tomorrow I would probably still love it. Each length has its benefits and negatives.

dulce
January 10th, 2014, 06:41 PM
I am older at 61,and prefer long hair for me, but I like pixies and such on petite feminine slender women.It is a hard style to wear well,especially if you are older and very overweight.It has a gamin ,elfin connatation.Unfortunately I see a lot of very short unflattering unstylish hair on older women[over 50],it's so bad on walks,from behind I sometimes can't tell who is who in a couple from behind.I find some older women also tend to dress like their husbands.Sorry if I offend anyone,this is my observations on older women living in my area.I do find younger women generally to have more stylish short hair cuts than older women with short hair. Older women can have such sophistication if they want it but I guess appearance doesn't matter as much to some ladies when they get older or they like that look..Again hope I didn't offend ,you asked opinions and I gave mine.Not everyone looks good long and not everyone looks good short,the trick is to figure out which is best for you.

tetisheri72
January 10th, 2014, 06:44 PM
Nope. I've had my hair super short, not much longer than a buzz cut, and now all the way down to hip. I've had parts of it shaved, and had other parts long. I've had it all kinds of colors. I hope no one judged me for it, and I wouldn't judge anyone for the way that they have their hair. I may want to brush it for them, and maybe hand them some conditioner, but other than that I really don't care how they do it.

Thinthondiel
January 10th, 2014, 07:13 PM
No, I don't judge people based on hair length. But then, I currently have a pixie cut myself. (Aaand I'm pansexual - but this doesn't have anything to do with my short hair :p)

I've never come across anyone who has judged women based on the length of their hair... at least not that I've been aware of. I mean, sure, people have their preferences (and not everyone prefers long hair - some think short hair looks better), but I've never heard anyone say anything bad about girls with short hair.

I get the same amount of attention from men whether I have waist-length hair or a buzz cut (which I got in November because I needed to go back to virgin hair after I dyed it blue). It actually surprised me at first after I got the buzz cut, that guys kept hitting on me even though I had practically no hair at all.

lunalocks
January 10th, 2014, 07:15 PM
To each his/her own. If someone wants short hair, it is up to them. I don't want someone judging me on why I have my hair long.I don't judge anyone on why they choose to have it short. I know plenty of straight women who have short, spiky cuts. The cut of one's hair really does not mean anything, and even if it did, why judge?

spidermom
January 10th, 2014, 07:23 PM
Not usually, although a buzz cut makes me curious.Since LHC, my 1st thought is getting rid of damage.

jeanniet
January 10th, 2014, 07:28 PM
I just look at the face and hair and how it suits the person. I think some people do look better with shorter hair, and some look better with long.

untothehills
January 10th, 2014, 07:41 PM
I don't judge people with short hair. Period.

That said, I have noticed that I get a twinge of sadness when someone with long hair cuts it off! I remember it happening when I was in elementary school and this substitute teacher who had long, curly, beautiful hair cut it all off (into a pixie) after she had a baby. She was still a great teacher (obviously hair length doesn't change that!), but I was always hoping she would grow her hair out again because I loved looking at it. It happened again a few years ago. I met a gal with long, dark brown hair with Betty Paige type bangs who had pale, smooth skin. She was very striking and I loved looking at her hair, but a few weeks later she cut it into a bob. It didn't interfere with our friendship or anything, but I felt sad because I guess I like looking at long hair in general.

Vampyria
January 10th, 2014, 08:11 PM
I think short hair can look really good with certain features and if people feel better with short hair why not have it. One of my favourite actresses - Melissa McBride has a pixie and grey hair also. She looks amazing IMO. She really has a face for it, and I kind of wish I had it too, but I would probably still prefer longer hair on myself.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/52ae2a5e73ca91a749672de31a2f1e58/tumblr_mxgg9oWwEc1sdhcjno1_1280.jpg

I had short hair as a kid - longer pixie, but just because my parents weren't crazy about long hair and my hairdresser always ignored my request for a small trim.

turtlelover
January 10th, 2014, 08:12 PM
I do think that because the kindest, most nurturing people in my early life had beautiful long hair, I tend to get a warmer, fuzzier vibe from longhairs due to that conditioning in early life. Like Untothehills, I had the same experience in elementary school of getting sad/upset if a beloved long haired teacher would cut off her hair. There is just something soft, touchable, and comforting about well maintained long hair, and I cannot help but prefer it. I do like some short haircuts on women, though never ULTRA short. I like a well cut chin length bob, for example. However, I do confess that I probably make more positive assumptions about longhairs overall, though I don't have concrete reasons for doing so.

Bombadillo
January 10th, 2014, 08:13 PM
Having worn short hair for so long and now having it much longer, i can say that while long hair needs brushed and tied back those are minor things in comparison to having to buzz it down every few weeks (and finding little pokey hairs stuck in my skin and around the vanity) which is a major chore since going to a salon for such a cut is a waste of money. Also long hair means no bed head. With short hair I would wake up every morning and soak my head to get the hairs close to standing up right but now it's a comb and I'm off. Besides, with short hair no one had anything to say except to ask what branch of the service I was in and with APL curls I get tons of compliments!

truepeacenik
January 10th, 2014, 08:41 PM
Do I judge women with short hair? Not really. I'm curious if I suspect they may have recently taken vows (Buddhist, lot of that around here and back home in Colorado), or recently chopped dreads.

I can identify post chemo pretty easily. Sadly I have practice.

I occasionally wish I could rock a pixie.

I might think the usual suspects hair styles are boring, but I'm not judging the person wearing the hair.

leslissocool
January 10th, 2014, 08:58 PM
To me it's actually the opposite, people with much shorter hair (shoulder and shorter) tend to judge ME for my long hair. My own family, SIL who has very short completely fried hair told me I should cut it to apl and should style it to be "fun". She gathered all of this from my braided bun.


I don't judge short hair at all. Some cuts (asymetric) I tend to really admire, specially on sleek straight hair. Sadly I can't ever have hair shorter than waist without it turning into a poofy nightmare.

CircesButterfly
January 10th, 2014, 09:06 PM
I don't judge a woman with long hair but I do take notice of the color and condition of the hair. This might sound odd, but I really get past the whole short hair thing and am personally fascinated with the color and condition of how well it's kept.

Islandgrrl
January 10th, 2014, 09:23 PM
Honestly, I don't care one way or the other how anyone else wears their hair. If it makes them happy to have short hair, then they should have short hair. :)

Wildcat Diva
January 10th, 2014, 09:27 PM
I don't have the energy nor the inclination for this. I am more worried about other things in life.

hairpleasegrow
January 10th, 2014, 09:30 PM
This has really got me thinking , yes I guess I do judge others (but didn't realize it until I wrote this post)

in judging others I think people who have short hair are very confident, because they don't "hide" behind their hair (whereas I feel I do hide behind my hair to some degree. I feel I am only attractive with long hair.....)

If they have a buzz cut then they are super fierce and confident and I would do anything not to cross them or get in their way. Throw that in with a blue color or mohawk and i'm downright scared of them....but have never thought much about what sexuality they might be.

...I had to really think about this and hypothetically if someone walked up to me with a gun to my head and asked the question (pointing to a woman with buzz cut short hair) are they gay or straight I would probably say gay. the reverse would probably be true of a long haired woman.

Dulce commented on older women with short hair...which made me think that i do have the judgement if a woman is in her fifties or over and overweight and her hair is short and very blown out and perfect looking I unfortunately am guilty of judging that they can't control their weight so they control their hair style.

On a side note this all said I guess I do have judgements about long haired people too....I am not quite APL yet (my goal is BSL) but I picture anyone with BSL or longer hair to be very kind, natural, peaceful, artistic, giving etc the kind of people you want to be around. Maybe subconsciously that is why I want long hair???? Hmmm....

And going even further, if someone walked up to me with a gun to my head and showed me a picture of a man with short hair or long hair and asked their sexuality in both cases I would probably say they are both straight. What's up with that??? Talk about a double standard. I don't think that was the original question though sorry to digress.

In a long winded way I guess I do judge people on their hair cuts :(

windwhispers
January 10th, 2014, 09:39 PM
I haven't ever really given it much thought but I don't think that I do. To be honest I don't really pay much attention to short hair. I feel that hair is a personal thing and each person does what they want with their own hair. I know how I am when it comes to my hair and those with shorter lengths could feel just the same. I can also understand the reasons they choose to keep it short.

HumanBean
January 10th, 2014, 11:54 PM
Honestly? I tend to think of women with short short hair as more modern and confident. I think that is sexy and admirable. And i do think of longer haired women as generally more bohemian and granola, which is sexy in its own way.

(Self-disclosure: I've had short pixie length hair in the past, though I wouldn't say I rocked it, and have worn my hair chin to shoulder length most of my adult life).

glittergloss
January 11th, 2014, 12:25 AM
Some women with short hair look good and very fashionable/stylish and fun or no care in the world like a laid back look in my opinion.

Flor
January 11th, 2014, 12:38 AM
Any hair length and style is fine, as long as the person actually wants it like that and likes it and wasn't talked into it by someone in particular or society in general.

insilentharmony
January 11th, 2014, 01:07 AM
I don't think differently of people based on their hair length. It's a personal decision, so who am I to judge?

I had a pixie for several years and I loved it! It was much easier to maintain than long hair (for me) and I still felt sexy and feminine. I eventually grew my hair long again when I became engaged to my now husband because I always envisioned getting married with longer hair.

Micayla47
January 11th, 2014, 01:36 AM
i've always loved and wanted super long hair, but most of my life i wore a short-medium bob with bangs. i kept it short-ish because a) before LHC i didn't know i could have long hair (i thought it was some kind of magic) and b) i changed hair color dramatically 2-3 times a year, washed everyday and heat styled my hair.

now that my hair is almost long (i feel like "long" starts at waist) i couldn't be happier. and i love love love long hair on others.

still, short hair can be beautiful and "right" for other women. i don't like short hair that is super layered though because it seems to make a woman's head appear too small. and speaking of proportions, i prefer short hair on shorter women. that's another reason i want long hair-i'm very tall, way out of the "standard deviation" for women. i get the same impression with other super tall women - they seem more balanced with long hair.

Sarahlabyrinth
January 11th, 2014, 01:42 AM
No. At least I hope not. I do prefer long hair on myself and others, but of course others are as free to have short hair as I am to have mine long.

emilylightning
January 11th, 2014, 02:21 AM
Nope, not really. In fact, it can be quite attractive. I seem to be attracted to men, women, and non-binary people with short, messy hair. I just dislike baldness, personally. That's the limit for me :p [I don't JUDGE bald people, I just don't find it to be a good look on people, regardless of the reason.]

aet2009
January 11th, 2014, 02:29 AM
I don't judge a person based on hair length. That being said, I really hate short hair. I don't find it attractive at all, on any woman, ever. But it's not my place to say how people should wear their hair.

woolyleprechaun
January 11th, 2014, 02:59 AM
I see a lot of women with stunning short hair and don't really judge; I think I suit short hair better than long, but I have that type of hair that is nearly impossible to keep looking good short. I aimed for edgy, and achieved granny :O So I may even have jealousy for short hair on women :)
Plus, the hubby had a 'thing' for pixied women, and that hurts my feelings sometimes (being nearly hip)

SleepyTangles
January 11th, 2014, 04:32 AM
Not at all; plus I had a pixie myself for more than 10 years, so I've been there too. I guess its not my cup of tea, probably because i kept it for so much time and not completely willing (I was little, the haircut was chosen by my mum :roll:), but I usually find that girls look good in pixies and very short styles.
I have quite a dislike for "middle" lenghts (ear to above shoulder), because my personal experience with them is awful and they don't work at all with my texture, but this doesn't mean I have something against people with bobs :grnbiggri!

But I must say: when a girl with shoulder or neck lenght hair exclaims out loud how difficult to care for are long hair, I'll assume she has some kind of routine that's not really compatible with my hair/lenght, so I'll probably won't be very keen on following her advices on hair care.
I don't consider this a personal "judgement", but I guess it can be read like so.

ladyfey
January 11th, 2014, 04:38 AM
I love short hair! Especially short hair without layers. It is lovely. I have had it before and may have it again someday. I hate being high maintenance, so going for haircuts so often bothered me. Long is easier in that regard.

Lyv
January 11th, 2014, 05:11 AM
I don't judge anyone by hair length, judging a persons lifestyle or who they are by a haircut doesn't make sense to me. I have a pixie now and haven't had anyone make any lesbian comments or any negative comments in general, I still get compliments on it from men so I don't think hair is as important to them as women tend to think. I do prefer my hair long but a pixie works for me and I've had bobs on and off for years with no negative attention. I say rock the hair you have and if someone doesn't like it they're not who you want to talk to anyway :gabigrin:

lapushka
January 11th, 2014, 05:29 AM
I think it's a little silly to judge someone just because of the length of their hair. I mean... what's that about, really? Short, long, inbetween, doesn't matter to me.

ErinLeigh
January 11th, 2014, 06:04 AM
In my experience, the only people who make the lesbian comments about women with short hair are stupid pre-teen boys. It's very common for women to have very short hair where I live. Many of the women I work with keep their hair "boy short". I also see a lot of medium length and long haired women, too, so there's a wide variety in my area. I think it's safe to say that anyone who assumes a woman is gay because of her hair style is extremely ignorant. I mean that's just backwards and silly. It's 2014 and those people need to get with it.


This is my personal experience with my own long hair vs short hair:
I have had short hair all my life because as a kid it would knot up so badly my mother had to keep it short. I was a punky teenager, so I kept it short, dyed funky colors, teased, spiked, side shaved, etc. I had lots of crazy hairdos in my teens. In my early 20's I straightened it and dyed it bright pink, then red with a longer layer of black underneath. It was so damaged that I had to chop it all off into a short messy bob (myself!) and I decided to do something I'd never done before: grow it super long and healthy. I grew my hair to tailbone length. During that time I dyed it black, but then changed my mind and bleached it to a dark brown and began using henna. Despite the one time bleaching it, my hair was in excellent condition. For a few years as I was growing it long I felt that my worth was measured by how long my hair was. If I got a trim and the stylist took off too much, I would panic. I had nightmares about my hair being chopped off. I felt like I was in competition with a long haired ex best friend. I hid under my long hair and kept it even though I didn't always enjoy it. For some reason, I developed an unhealthy attitude about my long hair, and I decided I needed to chop it all off again.
It felt like I was pressing a reset button. As the length was snipped away, I felt like I was letting go a lot of my past. Old dye & bleach, imperfect ends, weird frizzy bits and just plain OLD hair... all gone. My hair is now a short bob with bangs and it has MUCH more volume at the roots. I had no idea my hair could look so full and voluminous! The length was a lot heavier than I thought and made my roots flat. Believe it or not doesn't get quite as greasy as it used to. I'm having fun with my hair again. I plan to grow it to around arm pit length, experimenting with different cuts and styles along the way. For me, focusing so much on the length took the fun out of having hair at all. I will always stick around LHC because I still appreciate very long hair on others, I love to talk about products and henna, and learning new tips for keeping hair healthy and strong.
What I worry about is will I always be accepted on this forum even though I don't want to grow my own hair long again? Will LHC judge me for going back to occasional heat styling? As a (former) longhair, I used to judge women on how much they willingly damaged their hair rather than how short they kept it. Now I find myself enjoying salon visits, blow drying my hair, looking into styling products, wanting to buy a shampoo *just* because it smells amazing and who cares whats in it, etc. All very non-LHC friendly things! What I have learned is hair is just hair, and maybe some of us need to remind ourselves of that. For some people it's important to have extremely long natural virgin hair, and to other people it's important to have the brightest neon pink punky hair imaginable, at whatever cost. :D I try not to judge women who bleach or straighten etc. anymore. If someone wants to learn how to have strong healthy hair, I'm happy to share my wisdom with them. If they WANT to keep bleaching and heat styling their hair, more power to them! Hair is dead, man.
We have to enjoy our hair, and allow others to enjoy theirs however they see fit.

*I* like my hair now, and if someone else doesn't like it, they can buzz off. :wigtongue Ooo, I made a pun.

i absolutely love this post. :)

alexandros22
January 11th, 2014, 06:09 AM
As a guy with long hair, I'd be a hypocrite if I judged women for having short hair. I've been attracted to women with short hair in the past and there are some women who actually look better with short hair. Like others said though, I don't think people should be judged from their hair, short or long.

ErinLeigh
January 11th, 2014, 06:39 AM
I don't judge a woman with long hair but I do take notice of the color and condition of the hair. This might sound odd, but I really get past the whole short hair thing and am personally fascinated with the color and condition of how well it's kept.

Ditto. I am all about the hairs condition.
I love every length.

That being said. I have shaved my head, rocked a chin bob, had BSL, APL, NL, SL etc etc , curly, straight,
Red, brown,blond, purple, frizzy,sleek,shiny, dull, damaged, healthy, permed, straightened. I have had it all at one time in my life. I never ever had a negative reaction to my face. Nor was I treated differently and I am hyper sensitive so I would notice. I got hit on her same amount all styles. And women treated me same all styles.

Actually most men I ask about hair (I talk about hair way too much) always seem drawn to the shorter or medium lengths than the longer. I wonder sometimes if extensions haven't ruined the appeal of long hair for some people.

Ok back on topic.

Hair is personal. You can't judge people by a haircut. They could want it at the certain length or they could have the length altered unwillingly. They could want something different but don't how how to get it, had a bad experience, or they could have decided the length they have works for their lifestyle and features. They could have tried something new, or had a major life change and expressed it through hair. You never know on a glance and there are sooo many reasons to choose to cut or not cut.

My personal hair experiences are...
Women seemed to rave over shorter hair. Men seem to like ANY style as long as you still have boobs ,
And everyone feels comfortable with you when you are at SL/CBL.
I also think when people compliment or judge hair they are referring to color/style than instead of length.
Length is just length. People stand up and take notice of shine, volume, curls, sleekness, great color etc.
The only hair I ever see "judged" is damaged hair or bad color jobs.

Now I love short hair and every length but the one CUT I do not care for personally nor do I know anyone who likes ,is the one you see on most 50 yr old women with short hair. The super short everywhere except the poof on top style. Even then I don't judge. I just assume some stylist talked them into it or they felt it was time to cut due to age, or they actually like the cut! My sense of preferred hair may simply be different then theirs.

When I see a kick ass pixie, shag or bob first thing I think is modern, free, unencumbered, trying something new. I try not to think anything though just I case they had gum stuck in their hair and were forced to get the cut. You just never know so I try to get to know people and their taste before trying to guess why they have a certain style chosen.

I can say I perhaps wondered what led someone to a certain cut, but I Never have I though **** or butch when seeing a short one.

Also, sadly. I also think all you gorgeous long haired girls and guys get judged way more then short hair girls. Long hair brings some strong opinions and it makes me infuriated when I read people telling you to cut, donate, style or whatever. Something about long hair makes people feel they have free rein to blather their opinion about it when perhaps they woukd never consider doing it to a short haired person.

Ashflower89
January 11th, 2014, 06:56 AM
I always had shoulder - collarbone length hair when I was growing up, but got a super short pixie cut 2 years after I graduated. I didn't get any "are you a lesbian?" comments, but I did wonder what people were thinking a lot. I have a kinda hyperactive/childish personality, and my best friend told me short hair suited me better, like it reflected my personality better than long hair. So I didn't worry much about negative comments after that.

didrash
January 11th, 2014, 07:23 AM
No - never crossed my mind. I have had a shaved head, and now I have almost BSL hair. I admit I might, well, not exactly judge, but find ridiculous certain hairstyles, which I will not mention here to avoid offending anyone, but hair lenth in itself is not something to drive me to any conclusion by itself. And I do know better that to assume a person's sexual orientation by their hairstyle, it is so unrelated it would be ridiculous (not that enyone should be judged for their sexual preferences, whether evident by their style or not).

LadyCelestina
January 11th, 2014, 08:05 AM
I don't even notice it :hmm:

MeganE
January 11th, 2014, 08:09 AM
If a woman has an unattractive short hair style, I do wonder if she might look better with longer hair. I don't think less of her, though. Not everyone gives a rip, you know?

And as for baldness, can we say Patrick Stewart? Hoooooot.

1nuitblanche
January 11th, 2014, 08:15 AM
I don't judge women (or people for that matter) just for having short hair - I had short hair for many years when I was younger, and I also might again one day. I do dislike it when they choose a haircut that doesn't suit their features, face shape, and personality, though. I sometimes try to give people a make-over in my head so that I can focus on their best features instead. This isn't to say that I know best or that I always have a perfect hairstyle, it's just that I'd rather look good than not and imagine others feel similarly. I never tell people when I dislike their short hair, unless they ask for my opinion.

RubberDucky
January 11th, 2014, 08:17 AM
No, anyone can wear their hair any way they want to - short, long, bald, curly, straight, red, blond, black etc. It's THEIR hair.

Judging someone by their hair is like judging someone for having a crooked nose. Or a small nose. Or a thin nose. Or a... Well, you get the idea.

long&blonde
January 11th, 2014, 08:44 AM
It dawned on me recently why so many ladies over 50 cut their hair short.
it solves the koan of you have 3. IncInches of snow white or grey roots-and 3 feet of much darker hair. The 2 will never meet.
so many clip for a fresh,one color natural, hair start.
prior to realizing that-I thought women over 50 must love shorter hair.

Saldana
January 11th, 2014, 08:58 AM
I tend to like really short haircuts on women, including myself (I look super-cute with a spiky pixie!). Well, with the exception of helmet-head poodle styles on old ladies, don't care for that all that much...

In fact, as someone who is strongly drawn to butch-type d*kes, my attention is caught by a style that might be a clue. If it turns out to just be a fashion choice, I still like it. Just not for me. :)

Xylia
January 11th, 2014, 09:51 AM
I adore super short hair. To be honest, the only reason I started letting mine grow out a bit over a year ago was because I was planning a year long trip back to the US to visit family and didn't want to cause my ill mother any distress (long story). My hair was buzzed and my entire scalp is tattooed, so it needed to be hidden in order to keep the peace. At first I hated not being buzzed any more, but once I got past the horrible first few months in which all my cowlicks did their usual weird thing, I started falling in love with having hair again. I realized that now that I'd made it through the worst of the growing out phase I could work towards realizing my dream of having a long gray braid down my back like my grandmother used to have. So, onward...

I still love super short hair and always notice it more than longer hair. I'll admit to a twinge of longing for my clippers every once in a while, but then I think of how much I love my silver and how much fun I'm having with this experience.

pixldust
January 11th, 2014, 01:22 PM
I had short hair for a lot of my life, from shaved to jaw length bob and I still have a weakness for short hair even now and even though I'm determined to grow my hair out. When my hair was short, I didn't get many negative reactions. One time, I had my hair about shoulder length (always a bad length for me, that was generally the length at which I got bored) and got it cut into a pixie. The the bf was vastly unhappy about it and he dumped me not long after. Hmmm, coincidence? But apart from that, and once being mistaken at a distance for a boy :), I had positive reactions.
Some women look amazing with short hair, some it just doesn't suit. But that could be said for any length/style/colour. I certainly wouldn't make assumptions about a womans sexuality due to her hair. The one thing I do dislike however is when older women are made to feel that they *must* have their hair short because according to certain sections of society, long hair is the preserve of the young. And because of this some older ladies end up with generic short cuts that just don't do a thing for them.

sumidha
January 11th, 2014, 02:42 PM
Nope, not even a little bit. I really honestly don't care what other people do with their hair. :)

faellen
January 11th, 2014, 02:59 PM
If I judged women with short hair, that'd make me a hypocrite for saying I hate being judged for growing my hair long. It's frickin' dumb to judge people on their hair. Sure, there are hairstyles I like and dislike, but that's not the same as being outright judgemental.

WoolSweater
January 11th, 2014, 05:04 PM
I'm actually surprised a lot of you have never heard/witnessed a woman with short hair being judged. I want to move where you live. It's extremely common in the south for people to judge short haired women and automatically label them as gay, or being without class. Because here, long hair (shoulder and down) equals tradition and femininity, whereas short hair equals rebellion and boyishness, not in the good way. I get very tired of it. Personally I'm much more prone to notice short hairstyles than long, but that's because long hair (again, shoulder length to BSL is "long" here, anything longer and you're also judged) is normal to me, whereas short styles really stand out and make me notice them.

WoolSweater
January 11th, 2014, 05:12 PM
I was doing some browsing. Here, this thread has comments entailing exactly what I hear when a woman has short hair (note, nothing obscene, but a couple minor curse words).


http://s1.zetaboards.com/L_Anon/topic/4723847/1/

WoolSweater
January 11th, 2014, 05:24 PM
A direct quote from another forum (predominantly men, go figure): "Women were meant to have long hair. Cutting it off is just them advertising their lack of femeninity. Theyd be better off just putting a big neon sign over their head saying do not approach."


I'm sure if you Googled that sentence you'd find the forum, but there is more aggressive language and women-shaming posts so I won't direct link.

I'm just weary of it all!

Skade
January 11th, 2014, 05:39 PM
I'm actually surprised a lot of you have never heard/witnessed a woman with short hair being judged. I want to move where you live. It's extremely common in the south for people to judge short haired women and automatically label them as gay, or being without class. Because here, long hair (shoulder and down) equals tradition and femininity, whereas short hair equals rebellion and boyishness, not in the good way. I get very tired of it. Personally I'm much more prone to notice short hairstyles than long, but that's because long hair (again, shoulder length to BSL is "long" here, anything longer and you're also judged) is normal to me, whereas short styles really stand out and make me notice them.


I was doing some browsing. Here, this thread has comments entailing exactly what I hear when a woman has short hair (note, nothing obscene, but a couple minor curse words).


http://s1.zetaboards.com/L_Anon/topic/4723847/1/


A direct quote from another forum (predominantly men, go figure): "Women were meant to have long hair. Cutting it off is just them advertising their lack of femeninity. Theyd be better off just putting a big neon sign over their head saying do not approach."


I'm sure if you Googled that sentence you'd find the forum, but there is more aggressive language and women-shaming posts so I won't direct link.

I'm just weary of it all!

I´m glad its not like that were I live. I understand that you are weary of it.

And to answer the question. No. I don´t judge women with short hair. I rather have a tendency to like really short hair on women. It can look so edgy and hot! ... But then I like long hair too.. I like all hairs, I like the variations! I have had both short and long hair and never felt as anyone judged me when I rocked a short style.

chen bao jun
January 11th, 2014, 05:57 PM
Googling like you did will bring up lots of hateful comments because the internet is where trolls live and where they express their comments that they won't express where someone will argue with them.
If you google 'women with really long hair' you will find hateful comments too.
You didn't ask, do people where you live think women with longer hair are more feminine, which is quite a different different question. If you had asked that, I would have said yet. Generally in our society, it's exactly as your more recent posts say, people think longer hair is more feminine (but that hair that is too long is dirty or unkempt or looks low class). the magic length seems to be between shoulder and BSL, that is just the current style. And yes, people will make remarks in a lot of more conservative parts of the country that having really short hair makes women look as if they are not heterosexual. This doesn't actually mean that they think the woman is not heterosexual because of the short hair, but that they would like to embarrass her into growing it longer, so that she will conform. Most people are just more comfortable when others around them conform to whatever the norm is where they live. If you go to another part of the country or to a big cosmopolitan city, you will not hear the same remarks--but you will hear people being equally obnoxious about those who don't conform with whatever they are all into. Non-conformists are just as bad about people conforming to their non-conformity, if you know what I mean...
Short piece of advice: you will get through life in a happier way if you stop worry about what others think and/or say about choices you have made or want to make. You seem to live in the US and while people can be rude here, it's about the best it gets so far as picking your own lifestyle--There are places where people get put into jail and even executed for doing things the government doesn't like, or that the ruling religion does not like--the US is not one of those places. Try to enjoy the freedom here, move somewhere more in tune with your beliefs (if you are young, you will soon be old enough to do this) and stop worrying about it.
And do stop googling. I could totally live in terror if I spent my time looking for hate speech against blacks on the internet (it's all over) but life is too short and sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me, as they used to say.

neko_kawaii
January 11th, 2014, 06:03 PM
Yes, there are places in the world where people will judge based on the length and quality of hair based on local beliefs and preferences. I grew up in such a place but it is a tiny dot on the map in comparison with the rest of the world. YOU don't have to share those beliefs even though you live there.

Ferryl
January 11th, 2014, 06:04 PM
Where I live, short hair is considered modern and chic. Long hair is considered pretty but more antiquated. I think hair of all lengths are lovely and I try judging people solely based on their actions.

WoolSweater
January 11th, 2014, 06:22 PM
And do stop googling. I could totally live in terror if I spent my time looking for hate speech against blacks on the internet (it's all over) but life is too short and sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me, as they used to say.

I'm not sitting around Googling. A lot of users said they've never encountered or heard of women with short hair being judged, so I'm showing them, via the links I found, what I hear on a regular basis. And yes, people do make assumptions about one's sexuality based on hair. Long hair means feminine, but people are even more vocal about how ****-ish short hair is. Those forums I found were to help other people here understand how some people feel about short hair. And the people I have come across are nowhere near as non judgmental as people from other countries, so it does happen, and frequently, and the people here who are unfamiliar with it are blessed to be in an area where you don't hear it. I started this thread originally to see if people from all over really did share the views of what I hear normally, and since a lot of people did not, (to my great surprise and delight!!), I found a couple examples for show and tell, if you will. ;)

walterSCAN
January 11th, 2014, 06:30 PM
I'm not sitting around Googling. A lot of users said they've never encountered or heard of women with short hair being judged, so I'm showing them, via the links I found, what I hear on a regular basis. And yes, people do make assumptions about one's sexuality based on hair. Long hair means feminine, but people are even more vocal about how ****-ish short hair is. Those forums I found were to help other people here understand how some people feel about short hair. And the people I have come across are nowhere near as non judgmental as people from other countries, so it does happen, and frequently, and the people here who are unfamiliar with it are blessed to be in an area where you don't hear it. I started this thread originally to see if people from all over really did share the views of what I hear normally, and since a lot of people did not, (to my great surprise and delight!!), I found a couple examples for show and tell, if you will. ;)

As my husband is fond of reminding me, this forum is a VERY different place from the internet-at-large. ;)

WoolSweater
January 11th, 2014, 06:37 PM
As my husband is fond of reminding me, this forum is a VERY different place from the internet-at-large. ;)


From the world at large, it seems. Where did all these nice, non judgmental people come from??? ;D

Tini'sNewHair
January 11th, 2014, 09:54 PM
I mind my own business, I don’t care what people do to themselves or their looks just as long as im not effected or causes serious harm to others. I always lived by this belief.
Personally, ive had all sorts of lengths and colours because I wanted to experiment and it was fun. Also It was fun when one time my hair cut was copied by another, it felt great “inventing” a style and I felt pride and joy having it seen on others 
Im growing my hair long again because that’s what I want to do, its my personal choice.
Hair lengths around here varies a lot from pixies to hip and even a few classics, some are fake some are naturals. Im glad to see that people around here feels comfortable having whatever style they want, its so versatile its great!

Kaelee
January 11th, 2014, 10:14 PM
I don't judge at all. Whenever I see a woman with a pixie, though, I think about when I'm eventually going to cut my hair into a pixie (I really do want to. And a decent one, not like I had before that was "grown out crop cut with nothing done to it) but a legit, nicely cut/styled pixie. I love that look. I love the simplicity. I'm just not ready for it yet.

walterSCAN
January 11th, 2014, 10:21 PM
From the world at large, it seems. Where did all these nice, non judgmental people come from??? ;D

They're all hiding here! :bounce:

leslissocool
January 12th, 2014, 01:05 AM
I think KNIT actually filters out all the blabberfingering that goes on the internet. If you were to get banned from Youtube, you think all the trolls would sit there for hours just talking crap?

QMacrocarpa
January 12th, 2014, 08:18 AM
Do I judge women with short hair? Nope, I've often been a woman with short hair myself! A chin-length bob is a look I'm quite happy with on myself. Growing up I wasn't allowed to grow my hair very long, and at some point in my early teens I kind of seized control of my hair by going to a salon and getting a *quite* short cut. It turned out not to be a good look for me and I'd never do that again, but that doesn't mean I disapprove of others having short hair. The only time I really think about it at all is when I know someone (of either gender) who has lovely long hair for a long time, and then cuts it and keeps it short for a long time. In that situation, when I see them with the short hair I often have a brief internal thought that I miss their long hair. I don't share that thought though.

Stray_mind
January 12th, 2014, 10:52 AM
I don't see a reason to judge women with short hair. Some of them look amazing with short hair and long hair doesn't fit them at all, some look great with long hair and not so great with short.. In the end, every woman an man is free to do what they want, because it is their body and their hair, so i see no reason to judge at all..

prettyhairisred
January 12th, 2014, 12:47 PM
[/QUOTE]
have never known lesbians to be particularly obvious by the way they look or are dressed. There are things that can give you clues, if you want to bother guessing about someone else's life. An unusual amount of lesbians (at least that I have met) are seriously, seriously overweight, even more than the general population. Quite a few of them tend to harp on the horrors of men (though a lot of women do that who aren't lesbians). But I haven't really noticed them having shorter hair than anyone else. The most likely person to have a really short haircut, in my experience is any woman over sixty who goes near hairdressers (who like to do that to older ladies).

I don't know why anyone wastes their time guessing who is or who is not a lesbian, in my experience they are very anxious to tell you that they are and why they are and talk a lot about their 'partner'--you don't have to go around asking people if they are lesbians, they will tell you without being asked (and whether or not you are interested) much more than gay men. Probably because women tend to be talky like that, more than guys do.[/QUOTE]

Uh...:mad: Calling lesbians fat? And the way you seem to imply that they are generally disagreeable people? Am I the only one to find this idiot offensive? It's 2014. I wish people like this would just go away already

WoolSweater
January 12th, 2014, 01:07 PM
Prettyhairisred, she said the ones she has met have been generally overweight. She didn't call all lesbians fat, nor did she say they were disagreeable. She's not an idiot, and her post wasn't offensive, but personal observations she has.

chen bao jun
January 12th, 2014, 02:03 PM
Thank you, Woolsweater.

&rea
January 12th, 2014, 02:11 PM
I felt more critical of myself after cutting my hair short. I felt less feminine, but the funny thing is that I don't have this opinion about other women with short hair.

Ashflower89
January 12th, 2014, 02:15 PM
I felt more critical of myself after cutting my hair short. I felt less feminine, but the funny thing is that I don't have this opinion about other women with short hair.

Same here. I felt less feminine and just overall more "bland" looking. I didn't like the way half my clothes looked anymore, especially shirts with certain styles of neckline.

Haldir
January 12th, 2014, 02:16 PM
I don't think people necessarily associate short hair with being a "d*ke". Of course I'm sure it has relevance, but I think it also has to do with personality? I've always had bum-length hair and I can't even count how many times I've been asked if I am a lesbian. I'm not very girly, at all.

But more on topic, I love short hair, I love it on other women - and I wish I could pull it off! Or I wish I had the balls to try at least. :) My partner doesn't like the way short hair looks on women at all. He thinks it looks weird and un-feminine. :S

Kaelee
January 12th, 2014, 02:31 PM
I don't think people necessarily associate short hair with being a "d*ke". Of course I'm sure it has relevance, but I think it also has to do with personality? I've always had bum-length hair and I can't even count how many times I've been asked if I am a lesbian. I'm not very girly, at all.


:laugh: I had a funny experience the other weekend...I was out with my friend who is a lesbian, and I'm bisexual and in a heterosexual long term relationship. We met some people at the hookah bar, and I was assumed to be a lesbian whereas my lesbian friend was assumed be be straight. It just goes to show, you never can tell (unless they're behaving in obvious ways or wearing gay pride clothing.)

karenpetal
January 12th, 2014, 06:23 PM
Dont judge people on length of hair ... may have some notions about how the hair is kept.

mz_butterfly
January 12th, 2014, 07:01 PM
I saw a hostess at a reataurant this evening, she had a buzz cut, she was beautiful. I was astounded and admired that she could pull off that look, not everyone can. I didn't give any other thought regarding her hair except that she was beautiful with so little of it.

Wisé
January 14th, 2014, 04:55 AM
I might somewhat judge people whose hair looks like they haven't even looked at it the last 2 or three month. (Obviously cheap red hair dye grown out to the ears on only shoulder length hair worn open with an oily scalp and looking like not detangled for at least a week - if you can't be bothered with maintaining it at least somewhat, then maybe hair dye just isn't for you.)

Oh, and i do judge women who only wear a hairstyle (or anything else for that matter) which doesn't suit them in the least just because it's "in" right now. And in my sad experience, the character often goes well with the judgement (superficial & full of themselves). (disclaimer: please don't confuse with women who now how to rock what's in)


Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking polished everytime I leave the house, instead I am rather sloppy myself most of the time (or at least used to be in my school days). But that's why I can't imagine why you would bother to dye your hair if you don't care how you look anyway?

For the mentioned lesbian thing: the short hair = lesbian misconceptions seems to be a Hollywood thing to me, because it never held true for my real life.
I've known quite a share of lesbians, bi, gay, metro and whatnot individuals and of all lesbians or bi women only one had a pixie cut, the rest had rather long or longer than average hair in non-LHC terms.

Lyv
January 14th, 2014, 05:08 AM
I might somewhat judge people whose hair looks like they haven't even looked at it the last 2 or three month. (Obviously cheap red hair dye grown out to the ears on only shoulder length hair worn open with an oily scalp and looking like not detangled for at least a week - if you can't be bothered with maintaining it at least somewhat, then maybe hair dye just isn't for you.)

Oh, and i do judge women who only wear a hairstyle (or anything else for that matter) which doesn't suit them in the least just because it's "in" right now. And in my sad experience, the character often goes well with the judgement (superficial & full of themselves). (disclaimer: please don't confuse with women who now how to rock what's in)


Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking polished everytime I leave the house, instead I am rather sloppy myself most of the time (or at least used to be in my school days). But that's why I can't imagine why you would bother to dye your hair if you don't care how you look anyway?

For the mentioned lesbian thing: the short hair = lesbian misconceptions seems to be a Hollywood thing to me, because it never held true for my real life.
I've known quite a share of lesbians, bi, gay, metro and whatnot individuals and of all lesbians or bi women only one had a pixie cut, the rest had rather long or longer than average hair in non-LHC terms.

While I can maybe understand the tangle thing the others could have perfectly good reasons why the hair is the way it is. Maybe she's growing out her hair dye and doesn't want to damage it anymore by re coloring or stripping out the color (there are a few doing that here on LHC) and maybe the girl with the "in style" hair that doesn't suit her wanted to try it out and didn't know it wouldn't look good until she actually did. Judge people however you want just giving my opinion lol.

Wisé
January 14th, 2014, 05:26 AM
While I can maybe understand the tangle thing the others could have perfectly good reasons why the hair is the way it is. Maybe she's growing out her hair dye and doesn't want to damage it anymore by re coloring or stripping out the color (there are a few doing that here on LHC) and maybe the girl with the "in style" hair that doesn't suit her wanted to try it out and didn't know it wouldn't look good until she actually did. Judge people however you want just giving my opinion lol.

I have great respect for women who grow out and baby damaged hair. But on the examples I meant you just see how little they care for their hair. Most of them will dye it again maybe a month or so later (with the same cheap dye which fades after 3 washes) and than go through the same cycle of terrible looking hair again. If one doesn't like to be bothered with hair, then don't bother and go for something low maintenance.

And of course cutting hair and deciding it looks awful afterwards can happen to everyone. But I mean those who cut it again and again to the same and wear every new mode that doesn't suit them in the least.


To clarify: I'm not offended, I'm just trying to prevent misunderstanding (and especially avoid accidently hurting ladies here who are growing out hair dye)

Of the Fae
January 14th, 2014, 05:26 AM
In my experience, the only people who make the lesbian comments about women with short hair are stupid pre-teen boys. It's very common for women to have very short hair where I live. Many of the women I work with keep their hair "boy short". I also see a lot of medium length and long haired women, too, so there's a wide variety in my area. I think it's safe to say that anyone who assumes a woman is gay because of her hair style is extremely ignorant. I mean that's just backwards and silly. It's 2014 and those people need to get with it.


This is my personal experience with my own long hair vs short hair:
I have had short hair all my life because as a kid it would knot up so badly my mother had to keep it short. I was a punky teenager, so I kept it short, dyed funky colors, teased, spiked, side shaved, etc. I had lots of crazy hairdos in my teens. In my early 20's I straightened it and dyed it bright pink, then red with a longer layer of black underneath. It was so damaged that I had to chop it all off into a short messy bob (myself!) and I decided to do something I'd never done before: grow it super long and healthy. I grew my hair to tailbone length. During that time I dyed it black, but then changed my mind and bleached it to a dark brown and began using henna. Despite the one time bleaching it, my hair was in excellent condition. For a few years as I was growing it long I felt that my worth was measured by how long my hair was. If I got a trim and the stylist took off too much, I would panic. I had nightmares about my hair being chopped off. I felt like I was in competition with a long haired ex best friend. I hid under my long hair and kept it even though I didn't always enjoy it. For some reason, I developed an unhealthy attitude about my long hair, and I decided I needed to chop it all off again.
It felt like I was pressing a reset button. As the length was snipped away, I felt like I was letting go a lot of my past. Old dye & bleach, imperfect ends, weird frizzy bits and just plain OLD hair... all gone. My hair is now a short bob with bangs and it has MUCH more volume at the roots. I had no idea my hair could look so full and voluminous! The length was a lot heavier than I thought and made my roots flat. Believe it or not doesn't get quite as greasy as it used to. I'm having fun with my hair again. I plan to grow it to around arm pit length, experimenting with different cuts and styles along the way. For me, focusing so much on the length took the fun out of having hair at all. I will always stick around LHC because I still appreciate very long hair on others, I love to talk about products and henna, and learning new tips for keeping hair healthy and strong.
What I worry about is will I always be accepted on this forum even though I don't want to grow my own hair long again? Will LHC judge me for going back to occasional heat styling? As a (former) longhair, I used to judge women on how much they willingly damaged their hair rather than how short they kept it. Now I find myself enjoying salon visits, blow drying my hair, looking into styling products, wanting to buy a shampoo *just* because it smells amazing and who cares whats in it, etc. All very non-LHC friendly things! What I have learned is hair is just hair, and maybe some of us need to remind ourselves of that. For some people it's important to have extremely long natural virgin hair, and to other people it's important to have the brightest neon pink punky hair imaginable, at whatever cost. :D I try not to judge women who bleach or straighten etc. anymore. If someone wants to learn how to have strong healthy hair, I'm happy to share my wisdom with them. If they WANT to keep bleaching and heat styling their hair, more power to them! Hair is dead, man.
We have to enjoy our hair, and allow others to enjoy theirs however they see fit.

*I* like my hair now, and if someone else doesn't like it, they can buzz off. :wigtongue Ooo, I made a pun.

I agree with this. I've had a million types of short cuts too, and only just recently did I have BSL length hair for a short while. Now I cut it off again in september.
I'm committed to grow now, but I still like short hair on many people.
The only short hair I don't like is short hair on some women and it looks like it does not suit their face. Like they hate their hair or something. However, I'm not one to call judgement over their decision. If they like it, so be it, it's not my hair, and they are not there to decorate my world as they say :)
I used to get very annoyed with (as I thought were) "bad" haircuts in the past, but really, why spend time being bothered by it?

I've been called a boy many times as a kid with short hair. It did not help that I was a little boyish in my ways too. But now my hair is short and many people tell me it really suits my face. I also got compliments with long hair.
What I mean is that it all depends on who you're speaking to :)

Lyv
January 14th, 2014, 05:32 AM
I have great respect for women who grow out and baby damaged hair. But on the examples I meant you just see how little they care for their hair. Most of them will dye it again maybe a month or so later (with the same cheap dye which fades after 3 washes) and than go through the same cycle of terrible looking hair again. If one doesn't like to be bothered with hair, then don't bother and go for something low maintenance.

And of course cutting hair and deciding it looks awful afterwards can happen to everyone. But I mean those who cut it again and again to the same and wear every new mode that doesn't suit them in the least.


To clarify: I'm not offended, I'm just trying to prevent misunderstanding (and especially avoid accidently hurting ladies here who are growing out hair dye)

I'm sure no one would have thought you were trying to hurt feelings I was just throwing out the "what ifs" lol thanks for explaining what you meant though :)

Haybop
January 14th, 2014, 05:36 AM
I grew up with short hair, was mistaken for a boy many times before puberty put a stop to that, and I kept short hair up until I decided to grow it out last January. I have on occasion been treated to negative comments about a woman having very short hair but would never judge someone on their length of hair or what they choose to do with it. I've had some godawful cuts in the past where a hat in the middle of summer was not a good hiding option and so have had to grin, bear it and feel like everyone's staring :S

Actually, tbh, I got more positive remarks when I cut my hair into a short style than I'm getting from friends & family now I've decided to grow it long :(

patienceneeded
January 14th, 2014, 12:40 PM
Short answer - No. Long answer - No.

Andeee
January 14th, 2014, 12:46 PM
I have seen so many gorgeous and feminine women with adorable short hair and they look great. There are so many different ways to be pretty and feminine.

What I do judge a bit (to myself and not out loud!) is when I see someone with a haircut or style that simply just doesn't suit them.

QueenMadge
January 14th, 2014, 01:14 PM
As a former long hair who cut my hair this past June or July. I am loving my short hair and I was surprised to not miss my wild curly long hair one bit. I am either a short hair person or a long haired person, I hate the in between stage. I have no desire at this point to grow my hair out again, but who knows? I look at how a person's hair suits them...the condition, whether or not they are happy with it and really as we say here "I am not here to decorate your world" so it is really a personal decision.

Redvelvetdragon
January 14th, 2014, 01:25 PM
I don't judge people with long hair. The only time I will judge, how ever, are those who cut off their hair because they say, "Oh, I'm over 40 or over 50 therefore I MUST cut my hair."

A co-worker friend said this to me the other day. Her pony tail is waist length. I told her, if you want to cut your hair because it pleases you, go for it. But if you want to cut your hair because society dictates that older hair must be short, then I'd rethink it.

I remember this came up here on this board a number of years ago, the whole older women are no longer considered by society to be attractive so they have to defeminize themselves otherwise they'll look like they are trying to hang on to younger years. Why? These are the ones who have cut their hair, permed it to a floofy q-tip look, then wear shapeless garments. Why? Where is this unseen court, this invisible congress, that makes the law that after 40 hair must be short and you can no longer be sexy?

Fortunately, it looks like Hollywood, to a certain extent, has embraced a few mature lovely ladies, eg. Helen Miren, Jaqueline Bisset, perhaps societal ideas of how women should look will change someday.

JessicaAnn
January 14th, 2014, 01:43 PM
If anything I'm jealous of women who rock their short hair. I cut my wild, waist length hair off in October and I miss it something terrible. But even as I was decrying my own shoulder length cut I was seeing women with much shorter hair and thinking "that looks really nice, I wonder if I could do that." Luckily for me my hair is growing out pretty quickly and should be BSL sometime this summer. But I'm sure there will always be a part of me that wishes I would be OK with a super short style at least once in my life.

Loribelle
January 14th, 2014, 01:49 PM
I've always been envious of women who look good with short hair. I have had just about every haircut imaginable...from pixies to bobs, and everything in between (especially in the '80's!!) and NEVER looked good with any of it. Long hair just looks...right...on me. I've never had it super-long, but I HAVE had it super short. Nah. Not good. I get jelly sometimes when I see super-cute hairstyles and realize they just won't work on me.

Sunny_side_up
January 14th, 2014, 02:07 PM
Nope, I don't judge. People can do what they like with their hair.
Someday I think I will go back to a shorter choppy do...Not sure I want longer hair anymore. Had a workmate notice my hair(up in a claw clip the day after it was trimmed recently) asked if i'd cut it, and said it looked so healthy and shiny! I'm planning on gradually getting the dye trimmed out and felt good that theres noticeable healthy looking hair growing out :D

AliceRuth
January 14th, 2014, 02:35 PM
I don't judge anyone on their hair, short or long, whatever condition or colour it may be. People project different bits of their personality and views through their appearance, for individual reasons, and if their way of doing things makes them happy, who I am I to judge? I know what it feels like to be judged for short hair, too.

PinkyCat
January 14th, 2014, 02:56 PM
I'm actually jealous of them. Especially if they have a long neck and defined jaw.

I would LOVE to whack off my hair and rock a curly pixie, and enjoy the adventure of growing out again - alas, I know my face looks like my neck blew a bubble and, having a pixie as a child, I know it would look horrid and totally unsexy on me. Plus my DH would be very very upset with me. Oh well, I'll admire from afar.

WoolSweater
January 14th, 2014, 05:36 PM
I want to say what a nice bunch of people you all are. Great responses, reading every one!

Yozhik
January 14th, 2014, 05:43 PM
No judgement of short-haired people here - if anything, I think of them as confident and brave, because I've had a yen to buzz my head for years but am afraid to ever act on it.

Especially since many people immediately make assumptions about long-haired people: unkempt, hippies, part of a religious sect, part of a more culturally traditional ethnic group, I try to be aware of hair prejudices of any sort and try to stop myself from making any judgements regarding people's personalities based on their hair. :agree:

&rea
January 14th, 2014, 07:24 PM
I might somewhat judge people whose hair looks like they haven't even looked at it the last 2 or three month. (Obviously cheap red hair dye grown out to the ears on only shoulder length hair worn open with an oily scalp and looking like not detangled for at least a week - if you can't be bothered with maintaining it at least somewhat, then maybe hair dye just isn't for you.)

Oh, and i do judge women who only wear a hairstyle (or anything else for that matter) which doesn't suit them in the least just because it's "in" right now. And in my sad experience, the character often goes well with the judgement (superficial & full of themselves). (disclaimer: please don't confuse with women who now how to rock what's in)


Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking polished everytime I leave the house, instead I am rather sloppy myself most of the time (or at least used to be in my school days). But that's why I can't imagine why you would bother to dye your hair if you don't care how you look anyway?

For the mentioned lesbian thing: the short hair = lesbian misconceptions seems to be a Hollywood thing to me, because it never held true for my real life.
I've known quite a share of lesbians, bi, gay, metro and whatnot individuals and of all lesbians or bi women only one had a pixie cut, the rest had rather long or longer than average hair in non-LHC terms.

The bolding is mine. I judge people based on that. That reason I've never colored my hair. I don't want to deal with the constant upkeep or look... let's say not well maintained.

lapushka
January 17th, 2014, 02:27 AM
I felt more critical of myself after cutting my hair short. I felt less feminine, but the funny thing is that I don't have this opinion about other women with short hair.

Same here. Odd, isn't it?

Selkie-
January 17th, 2014, 02:31 AM
No, I don't judge women with short hair - my best friend has a pixie cut and it looks gorgeous on her. Short hair really suits some people - I'm just not one of them. :)

Venefica
January 17th, 2014, 05:35 AM
I must be from another part of the world than you WoolSweather for around here short hair is the norm. If you look at ten women chances are at least five will have very short hair, another three have hair in some length above the shoulders, two have a little past the shoulders and only one have actual long hair. Now for me I do not give a s*** how others wear their hair. I admire long, well kept hair, but there are also many who look amazing and very cute with a short pixie style, it is not my place to judge someone for their hairstyle and how long someone have their hair say nothing about their sexual orientation.

Personally I have had very short hair, and I have knee length hair now. I did get one comment once from a Dom I served when I cut off my bra strap length blond hair and dyed it black that he preferred me with long hair, but that was the end of it, we still played. The reason I have let my hair grow is that I like the look of long hair on me, I like all the things I can do with it, and also I wanted to look like the grudge monster, but off course now I have longer hair than her so now I want to look like Bayonetta.

HappyFoo
January 19th, 2014, 11:59 PM
My hair is currently 6", the longest it's been in six years :) I first cut my hair off in the fifth grade on impulse, and let me tell you, when you haven't finished puberty and have a boy short cut, things go wrong. Very, very wrong. I hated it for years, but every time I would go back to the stylist I would flip through the little books they had and see the cutest pixie cut I just had to have... hahahaha. When I hit eighth grade my hair grew out to 5", then I got it permed and it killed it, and thus went back to a pixie.

Honestly, I love pixies. Especially on me. When you pretty much go through all the vital teen years being bullied for your hair and make it through until one day almost everybody you talk to for more than five minutes tells you they've never seen a girl pull off short hair so well, it becomes a part of you. The girl with short hair amongst crowds and crowds of girls with long hair. I even felt like a sort of senior when I would talk to girl who hadn't had a pixie as long as me. :) I had endless amounts of pride in my short hair. To be honest, I always wanted to get a buzz cut just once, but I feel that I've already started my hair growing journey and come too far to ruin it, sigh. Hahaha. For the longest time I was having an identity crisis when I told myself I would grow my hair out. "Short hair is just who I am... I grew up with it, so much pride...". Eventually I just decided I was too lazy to cut it, and six months later I thought, "Hey, this isn't that bad. Let's keep growing it."

I decided to grow it out because I wanted my hair to be seen as pretty and beautiful, I was tired of daring and bold. I'd like to be one of the noble souls on LHC and say it's for myself, for my own satisfaction, some deep, heart gripping reason, but really, I'm growing it out for other people. I've had boyfriends in the past who loved my short hair, but they all turned out to be busts (and I'm glad I'm rid of most of them hahaha), but I thought that I'd want my future boyfriend/husband to have long, beautiful hair to run his fingers through and play with, and admittedly I'm looking forward to wearing it down once it grows past the length it is now (which includes not yet fully defined curls because it's too short... it's not a pretty look I can assure you) and showing it off.

Plus, if I don't like long hair, I'm only one salon visit away. But if I keep it short or cut it off before my goal, I can't glue the hair back onto my head (without a lot of money and hair damage). :)

wandlimb
January 20th, 2014, 05:41 AM
I think for me it depends on whether the cut suits the person and whether they have it short because of the age thing. If you are that bit older and want short hair, fair enough, but I see so many people who look like they've given up just because they hit 40. I don't like it when the hairdo looks too masculine either. Pixies can look so feminine on the right person but some people just look ridiculous (me included!).

Stiria
January 20th, 2014, 06:32 AM
I do not judge anyone based on the length of their hair. Where I live (Skandinavia) most women under 30, and many under 40, keep their hair longish. I have only seen four girls under 25 with pixies. I admire them! It takes guts to cut your hair that short.

molljo
January 20th, 2014, 11:36 AM
If anything, I judge them positively. I tend to think they're bolder and basically all-around more badass than the average woman. It's certainly how I felt when I had my pixies. But I do think that this judgement isn't a fair one, because a "good" stereotype is still a stereotype, and it does a disservice to women with medium and long lengths. It's something I'm working on in myself as I grow longer, and I think finally making the choice to embrace traditional "pretty pretty princess" hair is incredibly brave for someone like me who tended to stick with edgier cuts. The biggest challenge for me is really understanding that *I* can still be a badass who deserves to be taken seriously with long, feminine hair (keep in mind this only applies to how I view myself, not other women. I really admire the longhairs here who clearly already know that your personal awesome levels do not decrease as your hair increases).

mzlbcmami
January 20th, 2014, 11:41 AM
I don't judge anyone with any type of hair. Short hair doesn't mean a woman is gay or anything like that. The bible says not to judge according to how we look so anyone that does so clearly needs a heart check. There is bigger issues than hair if someone feels the need to judge by hair short a woman's hair is, they are called strongholds. THAT'S my honest "opinion." :)

Unofficial_Rose
January 20th, 2014, 12:58 PM
I have seen so many gorgeous and feminine women with adorable short hair and they look great. There are so many different ways to be pretty and feminine.

What I do judge a bit (to myself and not out loud!) is when I see someone with a haircut or style that simply just doesn't suit them.

It's entirely possible that they went into the hairdresser and came out with something entirely different from what they asked for. It's happened to me a number of times, sometimes even when I took pictures, or said 'just a trim please, I'm trying to grow it'. It sucks having to walk around with something that's not 'you' for months. shudder: (ooh, I got to use my favourite smiley)

WilfredAllen
January 20th, 2014, 01:26 PM
I judge people based on how they choose to look, but certainly not on short hair alone!

spirals
January 20th, 2014, 01:41 PM
I guess I judge, as in "I judge that to be a haircut I don't like." I don't think there's anything wrong with liking or not liking something one sees. But that's as far as it goes. Other women are free to do whatever they want with their hair, flattering or not, and if it doesn't appeal to me aesthetically, whatever.

heidi w.
January 20th, 2014, 01:52 PM
My hair is my business; other heads with hair is also none of my business. I don't judge anyone.
heidi w.

heidi w.
January 20th, 2014, 01:55 PM
Asking for "just a trim" does not think it means what you think it means. It gives no specifics of how short, how long or whatever to cut your hair. Most hairdressers are trained to cut beginning, BEGINNING at where your hair has most splits. This means a lot can get cut off without your consent or understanding. Better to give a measurement, bring a tape measure and wear a shirt with stripes parallel to the ground.

This is best along with interviewing first, well before sitting in the chair.

heidi w.

ErinLeigh
January 20th, 2014, 02:11 PM
Heidi I love wearing the striped shirt idea! I am going to do that on my next cut.

LongHairLesbian
January 21st, 2014, 02:34 PM
I don't judge women who have short hair, but I have to admit to being more impressed by a long, healthy mane, because I know that it takes a lot of dedication and patience. That and most of the women I know have short to mid-back length hair, so someone with really long hair is more unique where I live. I'm much more likely to cringe at people who wash and blow-dry/straighten/curl their hair every day- "don't they care that they are damaging the hell out of their hair? ARRRRRRG". But then I remind myself that it is their hair, their body, and everyone has different priorities and things they want out of their life.

Something I've found; as someone who dates women, I've found that women with short hair tend to be more impressed and appreciative of long hair. ;) Either because they think I have sooooo much more commitment and patience with hair than they do, or they are on the more masculine side, and they like a girl with feminine features. Hey, works for me, as I find female masculinity to be very beautiful and sexy.

LongHairLesbian
January 21st, 2014, 02:36 PM
I don't judge women who have short hair, but I have to admit to being more impressed by a long, healthy mane, because I know that it takes a lot of dedication and patience. That and most of the women I know have short to mid-back length hair, so someone with really long hair is more unique where I live. I'm much more likely to cringe at people who wash and blow-dry/straighten/curl their hair every day- "don't they care that they are damaging the hell out of their hair? ARRRRRRG". But then I remind myself that it is their hair, their body, and everyone has different priorities and things they want out of their life.

Something I've found; as someone who dates women, I've found that women with short hair tend to be more impressed and appreciative of long hair. ;) Either because they think I have sooooo much more commitment and patience with hair than they do, or they are on the more masculine side, and they like a girl with feminine features. Hey, works for me, as I find female masculinity to be very beautiful and sexy, and that includes their short hair. :)

xdaniellex
January 21st, 2014, 02:40 PM
I am totally jealous of women who have short hair. The shortest my hair has ever been is a layered chin length bob, and even when it was that short I had to flat-iron it every day to get the look that I wanted. Also, I don't have the right kind of face for short hair. My face is very round, and having long hair adds length to my face.

I seriously considered cutting my hair short (off my shoulders) a couple months ago. Then I remembered that I seriously regretted the one time I went from BSL to off the shoulder. Funny how time makes you forget those kinds of things.

rose313
January 21st, 2014, 02:43 PM
As much as I love my own long hair, sometimes I get a little envious of women who can pull off a short haircut. I can't, my hair is too wavy (gets really curly when short) and my face is too round.

Mizumi
January 21st, 2014, 03:13 PM
I don't like these very short hair looking like there was so little of it..

http://theneotraditionalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/natalie-portman-pixie-hair-cut.jpg

It happens very rarely to see a woman that actually suits this hairstyle. Mostly it looks like "typical 40' women" It can be pretty but only when suits..

But hairstyles like that I find gorgeous

http://hairstyles-galaxy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/hairstyle4.jpg

It just ROCKS. I even sometimes envy people that don't look that childish in bob like round-faced me. It would be fun to have hair so easy to manage and try a lot of dyes, because even regrowing this length to natural would take mostly one year.. sigh

cat11
January 21st, 2014, 05:25 PM
I never judge women with short hair. I figure they either want very easy to manage hair, or they just find the look more appealing or striking.

However, I felt like people did judge me sometimes. I liked the judgement though! It kept creepy perverts away because they were dumb enough to think it meant I was a lesbian (remember folks, things like this are embarrassing for the people who think in such shallow fashion, not for the people who are thought about, since nobody who cares or is worth your time should think like that,) but never deterred the right guys, the ones I cared about. Also it makes people think you are low maitenance or a tomboy, which I am. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, must be a duck, makes sense to me so i never had any problem with that.

Personally I had very short hair for years. It was a curly and shaggy unisex looking layered cut that I could just shake out and go. It never looked bad no matter what and was so simple and dried so quick. I like photos of this haircut and they still tempt me, but having very long hair tempts me more right now because I did short for so long. I havent had long hair since I was a kid, beginning of middle school, and I always wore it up because I hated it. Now I want it because I think it looks elegant, you can wear it in so many styles, and rather than being "striking" which is the type of charm I atrribute to short hair cuts, i find it to just be generally beautiful and romantic. I am old fashioned with my aesthetic tastes, for real. I like that people have grown their hair as something precious and romantic for hundreds of years. I love the idea that my great grandmother might have had the same well cared for mane.

henné
January 21st, 2014, 05:35 PM
I ADORE short pixie styles! And I'd love one for myself if I wasn't such a COWARD! Grrr! I'd like to have my cake and eat it too, in other words.

PS: I absolutely drool over all of Michelle Williams' shortcuts. *sniffles*

ErinLeigh
January 21st, 2014, 06:42 PM
I love Michelle Williams with a pixie! I was actually bummed when she started growing out. She rocks short hair.

turtlelover
January 21st, 2014, 06:47 PM
I would be happy to see all pixies go away (possibly as a result of a childhood hair trauma HAHA), but I've been obsessing over precision cut bobs lately and think they are adorable and striking. Of course, I would have to straighten my hair into oblivion to make THAT work! LOL

browneyedsusan
January 21st, 2014, 07:10 PM
Heck no!

She might be recovering from chemo for all I know! (or have alopecia or aids or ???) Maybe she's elderly or disabled or hurt herself and can't take care of her hair anymore.
Please. I have WAY bigger fish to fry.

Andeee
January 26th, 2014, 02:53 AM
I didn't know where else to post this, this thread seemed to be appropriate.

Yesterday at work I needed to tell the cashier I could give her a break so I said, "As soon as you're done serving this gentelman you can have a break." Of course the gentleman was a woman! :(

I felt really bad about it. I actually only glanced at her from the corner of my eye for a second. She was tall, broad, dressed in sloppy jeans and a fleece and had a very mannish hair cut, buzz cut and grey at the sides and short on top. All of that registered in my brain in half a second and said 'man' to me.

She said, "Ever since I turned 51 this keeps happening!" So I wasn't the first person to do that to her, plus apparently the guys at her work are always teasing her about her mannish appearance.

Of course I apologized profusely. But I had to think, "So if it bother you and you *want* to look more feminine, than why not grow your hair, wear a little bit of makeup, and dress a bit more flatteringly?"

In this case, I guess I was judging her. But I don't feel too badly about it, to be honest. Is that mean of me?

Sofialu
January 26th, 2014, 06:13 AM
I love short hair but my hair is very wayward and wavy so I grow my own hair longer because I find it much easier to style. Plus I do enjoy being able to put it up in different styles. I had it in a very short pixie cut (which did not suit me) after my first child was born just for ease and have had various length and styles of bob haircut, which I find suit me best but are most difficult for me to style. It is now BSL and am aiming to get it to waist length, thankfully I never found myself being judged or treated differently dependant on my hair length.

SeaPhoenix
January 26th, 2014, 07:03 AM
Chopped to a pixie a couple weeks ago. Surface reason was growing out henna again - but I also asked myself if I would want a pixie even if it weren't for the grow-out. The answer was an emphatic yes. Two weeks later and I'm still having people at work profusely complimenting the haircut - both male and female.
Most of my life was spent obsessing over long hair. When I first joined this site back in 2004, I had hip length hair. This year, I let the obsession go. The short/pixie hair suits me better both in looks and as a reflection of personality.

That being said, I'm from Florida, and was a bit anxious about getting the hair chopped this short. As the OP made note, folks in the south tend to be more weirdly judging about hair lengths. It's fine and dandy to say one doesn't care what anyone thinks - but impractical if part of the politics of your career relies on networking, and therefor, what others think of you. I don't know if it's just being older, being more confidant, or living in Maryland - but the long hair/short hair thing isn't so much a concern anymore in terms of looking female/male. I picked a style that works for me, and if anything, going short has made a more positive impact on the impression I make with people.

truepeacenik
January 26th, 2014, 09:02 AM
I didn't know where else to post this, this thread seemed to be appropriate.

Yesterday at work I needed to tell the cashier I could give her a break so I said, "As soon as you're done serving this gentelman you can have a break." Of course the gentleman was a woman! :(

I felt really bad about it. I actually only glanced at her from the corner of my eye for a second. She was tall, broad, dressed in sloppy jeans and a fleece and had a very mannish hair cut, buzz cut and grey at the sides and short on top. All of that registered in my brain in half a second and said 'man' to me.

She said, "Ever since I turned 51 this keeps happening!" So I wasn't the first person to do that to her, plus apparently the guys at her work are always teasing her about her mannish appearance.

Of course I apologized profusely. But I had to think, "So if it bother you and you *want* to look more feminine, than why not grow your hair, wear a little bit of makeup, and dress a bit more flatteringly?"

In this case, I guess I was judging her. But I don't feel too badly about it, to be honest. Is that mean of me?

Reading your post angered me. But you are almost owning your judgement, and at least you see it.

She isn't here to decorate your world.
What if someone suggested you do X, Y or Z , and they involved real changes to who you are, how would you take it, in the moment?
Likely she was being polite to you, seeing you flustered.

Scarlet_Heart
January 26th, 2014, 09:03 AM
I'm glad you did something that makes you feel so happy and confident, SeaPhoenix! And wow, you've been a member here for a long time. Props! :toast:

I don't judge women with short hair. A good friend and neighbor of mine has a pixie and I think it looks great on her. I can't picture her with long hair. And when I see a woman with a pixie, I just figure that's how she likes it, just like I like my hair long.

The only time I get a little catty about it is when someone with really short hair starts telling me about how I should cut mine or that you can't grow your hair very long without it looking damaged or stringy or whatever. Then I'm like, well maybe if you took better care of your hair... :pins:

HintOfMint
January 26th, 2014, 10:20 AM
I didn't know where else to post this, this thread seemed to be appropriate.

Yesterday at work I needed to tell the cashier I could give her a break so I said, "As soon as you're done serving this gentelman you can have a break." Of course the gentleman was a woman! :(

I felt really bad about it. I actually only glanced at her from the corner of my eye for a second. She was tall, broad, dressed in sloppy jeans and a fleece and had a very mannish hair cut, buzz cut and grey at the sides and short on top. All of that registered in my brain in half a second and said 'man' to me.

She said, "Ever since I turned 51 this keeps happening!" So I wasn't the first person to do that to her, plus apparently the guys at her work are always teasing her about her mannish appearance.

Of course I apologized profusely. But I had to think, "So if it bother you and you *want* to look more feminine, than why not grow your hair, wear a little bit of makeup, and dress a bit more flatteringly?"

In this case, I guess I was judging her. But I don't feel too badly about it, to be honest. Is that mean of me?

It's understandable that, while we don't have COMPLETE control over how people perceive us, we have some control, at least in the department of presenting as one gender or another.

Keep in mind though, that with age perhaps came a change in body shape, and it was so gradual that she didn't notice that she was presenting as more masculine until she reached a sort of tipping point. Perhaps she always had a very voluptuous figure or a more feminine face that, no matter how short her hair, or how masculine her clothes, she couldn't help but present as female for most of her life. So now with perhaps a stockier figure and older skin, she's being perceived differently but she doesn't know why because she's been dressing herself this way for years.

It's a possibility that this was the case, of course it's just speculation.

RancheroTheBee
January 26th, 2014, 10:41 AM
It's understandable that, while we don't have COMPLETE control over how people perceive us, we have some control, at least in the department of presenting as one gender or another.

Keep in mind though, that with age perhaps came a change in body shape, and it was so gradual that she didn't notice that she was presenting as more masculine until she reached a sort of tipping point. Perhaps she always had a very voluptuous figure or a more feminine face that, no matter how short her hair, or how masculine her clothes, she couldn't help but present as female for most of her life. So now with perhaps a stockier figure and older skin, she's being perceived differently but she doesn't know why because she's been dressing herself this way for years.

It's a possibility that this was the case, of course it's just speculation.

I'd like to say I agree, and I'd like to add that even if she's upset about being teased at work, it doesn't mean she wants to wear makeup or have longer hair. I am perfectly content with the way I look, and I am not bothered by being mistaken as male*, but people who tease me about it make me feel bad about it. I don't feel compelled to change my voice or clothes or how much makeup I normally wear because it makes some people uncomfortable.

*: I am guessing my avatar doesn't really show it, but I'm mistaken for male somewhat frequently. I wear loose clothing, a tight sports bra, and a hat that covers my hair. Last time I ventured out without makeup, I had an exam invigilator AND another university employee both read me as male and escort me to the men's room. I don't know what made them more uncomfortable; the fact that they'd made a mistake or the fact that I laughed so hard.

SkyChild
January 26th, 2014, 11:24 AM
I love short-haired women! I know that's a weird thing to say here but I actually like my hair best short. I've decided to grow it very long because I never have had it past middle of my back before and thought why not? I know loads of women with short hair. Some straight, some gay, some unbelievably cute and girlie, some extremely boyish. I don't judge them, though I know a lot of people (especially men) who do go down the "short hair = gay" route.

Andeee
January 26th, 2014, 11:36 AM
It's understandable that, while we don't have COMPLETE control over how people perceive us, we have some control, at least in the department of presenting as one gender or another.

Keep in mind though, that with age perhaps came a change in body shape, and it was so gradual that she didn't notice that she was presenting as more masculine until she reached a sort of tipping point. Perhaps she always had a very voluptuous figure or a more feminine face that, no matter how short her hair, or how masculine her clothes, she couldn't help but present as female for most of her life. So now with perhaps a stockier figure and older skin, she's being perceived differently but she doesn't know why because she's been dressing herself this way for years.

It's a possibility that this was the case, of course it's just speculation.
You're probably right.

Andeee
January 26th, 2014, 11:43 AM
Reading your post angered me. But you are almost owning your judgement, and at least you see it.

She isn't here to decorate your world.
What if someone suggested you do X, Y or Z , and they involved real changes to who you are, how would you take it, in the moment?
Likely she was being polite to you, seeing you flustered.

I feel a bit ashamed of what I was thinking. I don't care how people choose to present themselves. I'm not here to decorate anyone else's world and the same goes for others, of course. I just thought it odd that if it was a mistake that lots of other people were making and she wasn't happy with it that there were some things she could do to change that if she wanted.

Andeee
January 26th, 2014, 11:47 AM
I'd like to say I agree, and I'd like to add that even if she's upset about being teased at work, it doesn't mean she wants to wear makeup or have longer hair. I am perfectly content with the way I look, and I am not bothered by being mistaken as male*, but people who tease me about it make me feel bad about it. I don't feel compelled to change my voice or clothes or how much makeup I normally wear because it makes some people uncomfortable.

*: I am guessing my avatar doesn't really show it, but I'm mistaken for male somewhat frequently. I wear loose clothing, a tight sports bra, and a hat that covers my hair. Last time I ventured out without makeup, I had an exam invigilator AND another university employee both read me as male and escort me to the men's room. I don't know what made them more uncomfortable; the fact that they'd made a mistake or the fact that I laughed so hard.
Yes there are lots of women who play up and even cultivate a boyish / mannish appearance and would not be offended if someone mistook them for male. The woman in my shop was not one of them, though as she obviously was upset by people constantly mistaking her for a man.

Dee dog
December 6th, 2015, 06:34 PM
I have been told that I look like a lesbian hobbit with my short hair by my husband and it's not a good feeling. I am growing it out for him basically and I'm trying to be good about it. It does look better long so it's going to be hard to get used to the extra length. He does say he loves my baby pony and it's nice to hear. It's a sacrifice but he's worth it. Things u do for love....

slynr
December 6th, 2015, 06:41 PM
I have been told that I look like a lesbian hobbit with my short hair by my husband and it's not a good feeling. I am growing it out for him basically and I'm trying to be good about it. It does look better long so it's going to be hard to get used to the extra length. He does say he loves my baby pony and it's nice to hear. It's a sacrifice but he's worth it. Things u do for love....

What a thing to say. I hope that you will like your hair and grow it for yourself.

Sarahlabyrinth
December 6th, 2015, 06:47 PM
I have been told that I look like a lesbian hobbit with my short hair by my husband and it's not a good feeling. I am growing it out for him basically and I'm trying to be good about it. It does look better long so it's going to be hard to get used to the extra length. He does say he loves my baby pony and it's nice to hear. It's a sacrifice but he's worth it. Things u do for love....

Was he trying to offend you? How rude....

PristineAllure
December 6th, 2015, 07:04 PM
Lol I've never judged a woman with short hair.. Though I must admit, I do make up hair regimens in my head for people with damaged hair. But I do not treat them differently. Everyone is human, and how someone looks on the outside should never influence how you treat someone. But I guess in my head I think things like "Hmmm. Maybe if she did a hot oil treatment once a week it would really do her some good." ...Short hair is just a style. I've never associated short hair with sexual preference either. There are plenty of beautiful/feminine women with short hair.

chen bao jun
December 6th, 2015, 07:07 PM
Some of these things said as a joke don't come across well on the internet, without the smile, the body language etc that a husband can have that makes jokes/teasing okay. So some things I wouldn't repeat, and this is one of them. On the other hand, if you ARE feeling hurt by the remark, I can see coming online to get advice as how to tell him gently that this is not pleasant for you to hear. I understand that you want to please him (I want to please my husband, too) and that's fine but it doesn't mean you have to accept the kinds of comments that he might be used to making to his guy friends or his sibling with thicker skins that are just not as pleasant for a wife who might be more sensitive.

The first years of marriage especially can be a lot of learning for both wife and husband. It IS okay to tell him you don't like things, sometimes even if you then have a HUGE fight, he might not do it again afterwards. this used to happen to us. I remember the time I told my husband that I didn't appreciate it very much when he took me out for anniversaries, Valentine's day, etc. to HIS favorite restaurants without asking first, what a fight we had and how he called me ungrateful and what a miserable meal it was. ON the other, he has always asked me since; he just didn't know.

The thing about online to be careful about, is that when you make the slightest remark about a husband, boyfriend or any male, the feminist contingent (which is just about every female who's had a college education in the last 40 years or so) is going to all leap in with advice about always doing everything the way you want and never doing anything for a man, blahblahblah. They've got no concept of the give and take in a normal relationship and see every little thing any man does as incipient abuse waiting to happen. they don't know you, and they don't know him and their advice is (most often) completely worthless, but when you hear it over and over, it starts to seem as if it might have some validity. It can be very toxic when you are trying to learn about a specific person and being in a relationship with them. Hence the advice not to say something that will set them off.

Unless, as I said before, you actually posting this because you are not quite comfortable with it and do want some constructive feedback as to how to make it stop, while keeping the relationship--or not, if it is an abusive one (there is such a thing, of course). But it really is hard for others to tell, as I said, not knowing you two and not knowing the nuances of the conversation.

Do enjoy your hair whatever you do.

chen bao jun
December 6th, 2015, 07:15 PM
Oh, on the general topic of this thread:
There are things I judge people for. Adultery, child abuse, theft, being nasty to others for no reason--there are more but you get the idea. things of that sort.
short hair would not be one of these, how ridiculous.
What if someone has a disease that takes their hair out? What if they just cna't grow it long. What if they had cancer and were bald and its just growing back? And most of all, what if they just like their hair short?
Hair is so personal.

ETA: where I used to teach a lot of the women had very short hair--because they were nuns. They don't wear habits much anymore, they have very short hair, no makeup and plain clothing, blue jean jumpers and plain white shirts a lot.

HairAbuse
December 6th, 2015, 08:31 PM
Funny you describe lesbians as likely to be seriously overweight and to blab endlessly about their lifestyles, I could describe catholic school teachers I've known the same way! But I wouldn't, because speaking about others that way is rude and disrespectful.

Babyfine
December 6th, 2015, 09:24 PM
No if I looked good with short hair I'd be tempted to cut it short and keep it that way, due to fine thinning hair. I have had it short a few times in my life, both pixie cut and bob. I hated the pixie cut on me but a shoulder length or longer LOB suits me. Best cut on me is a shoulder length Bob. I just want long hair, for now.
I figure some women can rock short hair and some want to keep it that way due to ease, or they like it that way. I like mine longer, but I think hair is a matter of self expression and people should wear it the way they want it.

woodswanderer
December 6th, 2015, 09:40 PM
No judgement for short hair...and hey, it only makes mine look longer.:D

Robi-Bird
December 6th, 2015, 09:50 PM
No. I Had my hair less than an inch longoing for years as a teen and as an adult. In part because my cowlicks are plentiful and only behave when weighed down by length or are buzzed. I wasn't trying to be butch. I am not gay. And I did not wear make up to look feminine and I rarely wear it now. I kept it short out of a habit and to look more my age. I have no doubt that I was labelled for it and judged. Just as I am for wanting long hair and nails now. It's pretty pathetic but that seems to be the way.

rhosyn_du
December 7th, 2015, 01:21 AM
I've had both short and long hair, and I've enjoyed both. I honestly can't imagine judging another woman for the length of her hair, or for anything other choice she makes about her appearance. As long as it's not hurting anyone, why would it be anyone's business but her own?


I have been told that I look like a lesbian hobbit with my short hair by my husband and it's not a good feeling. I am growing it out for him basically and I'm trying to be good about it. It does look better long so it's going to be hard to get used to the extra length. He does say he loves my baby pony and it's nice to hear. It's a sacrifice but he's worth it. Things u do for love....

If he makes that comparison again, say thank you! After all, there are plenty of beautiful lesbians in the world, and Dominic Monaghan and Martin Freeman both played hobbits, so I can think of far worse things to be compared to! ;)


The thing about online to be careful about, is that when you make the slightest remark about a husband, boyfriend or any male, the feminist contingent (which is just about every female who's had a college education in the last 40 years or so) is going to all leap in with advice about always doing everything the way you want and never doing anything for a man, blahblahblah. They've got no concept of the give and take in a normal relationship and see every little thing any man does as incipient abuse waiting to happen.

Can we maybe not turn this conversation into straw-feminist-bashing, please? I come here to talk about hair, not to be accused of assuming men are abusers and being incapable of understanding normal relationships before I even open my mouth. Unless comments have been removed, no one has said anything about abuse waiting to happen and no one has identified as feminist other than me, in this comment. I have no idea why you would bring it up or make such gross accusations, but I would really appreciate it if you would stop. Thanks.

Alex Lou
December 7th, 2015, 01:43 AM
I often admire short hair on other women. I guess I do judge based on their personal style, but not length itself.

Estrid
December 7th, 2015, 01:47 AM
Not at all. I've had really short hair myself, did not like it on me but I really don't see why one would judge a person for having short hair.

I don't really judge any hairstyle/hairlength. Some might catch my eye and look strange to me, but I still don't judge the person.


/Margo

Platzhalter
December 7th, 2015, 02:48 AM
Not really... short hair can actually look quite feminine on some girls and women. To each their own, and while I prefer long hair on me, that doesn't mean it's even the same for me on others.

Amenahh
December 7th, 2015, 03:15 AM
I like both short and long hair on women.
I've had both, and short hair really suits my face and personality. The problem is maintaining it. Especially the salon visits every 2 months for trimming.
Now I'm growing long hair again as an experiment (last time it wasn't in the best condition), and I'm curious which style I will like more.
I went into a bit of a tangent, but the point is that I don't judge women with short hair at all.

Idreamlong
December 7th, 2015, 04:06 AM
I don't judge a person based on hair length. That being said, I really hate short hair. I don't find it attractive at all, on any woman, ever. But it's not my place to say how people should wear their hair.

This. I think women just tend to look better with a little length to their hair (chin bob onwards) but I would never judge anyone with short hair, that's ridiculous.

lapushka
December 7th, 2015, 09:02 AM
I have been told that I look like a lesbian hobbit with my short hair by my husband and it's not a good feeling. I am growing it out for him basically and I'm trying to be good about it. It does look better long so it's going to be hard to get used to the extra length. He does say he loves my baby pony and it's nice to hear. It's a sacrifice but he's worth it. Things u do for love....

That seems harsh, even for a joking response, at least I hope for your sake that it was - and it's not even funny. I mean men should really learn not to meddle in women's affairs, IMMHO.

MsPharaohMoan
December 7th, 2015, 01:14 PM
Lesbian hobbit... If this was meant to be derogatory (and based on your reaction I'm guessing it is) then I judge your husband. Short hair? I'd rather spend my energy judging behavior rather than appearance.

bumblebums
December 7th, 2015, 01:49 PM
Judge people based on hair length? No. But I certainly do judge people for making silly assumptions about the contents of people's heads based on the appearance of said heads.

bunneh.
December 7th, 2015, 04:04 PM
People don't judge other people by their hair length here I believe. I've heard about this for the first time after joining LHC. I judge people based on their personality and how they treat me, that's how I treat them as well, hair has nothing to do with that. My boyfriend loves women with short hair, but I will never cut it because I can't live with short hair. I've cut my hair to chin length about 10 years ago and I regret it so much I asked my mum to never let me cut it that short again. I don't know why but I'm just so attached to my hair, people say oh it's just hair it grows back and I think so too to some extent, but I'm just always, without even realizing it, playing with my long hair. Whenever I'm thinking about what to write, or when I'm watching a movie or when I'm bored I always pick a strand of hair and braid it, or if my hair gets in my way I gently pull it back and twist it and let it go so it's nice and contained on my back and not in my face. It's little things like that I would miss SO much if I cut my hair, that's why I'm saying I just can't live with short hair. Every time I'd run my fingers through my hair I'd be reminded how short it is and how I can't play with it anymore like I used to.
I grew my hair out because I wanted to, not because I would be pressured to or anything. It was my own will and interest to grow it.

If I'd have to cut it again would I feel less attractive? Probably not and if I would my bf would probably tell me I'm beautiful and reassure me, but I'd regret it and I wouldn't like my hair because it would be so short.

I told his sister I'm trying to grow it even longer and she didn't freak out so I was pleased when she said why not? As for my bf... The most I can do for him is learn how to french braid so he doesn't have to eat half of my hair while trying to kiss me. lol

Beckstar
December 7th, 2015, 04:32 PM
I do not judge women with short, long, or no hair. It's not who they are as a person.

Aubren
December 7th, 2015, 04:55 PM
I didn't know judging someone for short hair was even a "thing"

But really, if you are rocking the Kate gosselin 'do I hope someone loves you enough to tell you no way girl.

Caraid♫
December 7th, 2015, 05:04 PM
Short hair is so common, I've never thought to bat an eye at it!
my bf has mentioned a couple times he thinks I would look great with "really short hair", so luckily I'm not dating a guy with a "woman should have long hair" length bias because I think that is so silly! Sure eveyone has aesthetic preferences but there should be no rules about ehat hairstyle people can have based on gender, sexual orientation or anything else!
Anyways, I recently cut my hair into a bob so I guess it's not properly short, but no one has judged me for getting rid of my long hair!

czech it out
December 7th, 2015, 05:55 PM
No judgement for short hair...and hey, it only makes mine look longer.:D

Hah! So true.

I wouldn't judge anyone with short hair. My mom has always had short hair and she is one of the most amazing and beautiful ladies I know!

Nadine <3
December 7th, 2015, 06:13 PM
Of course not. My bestest friend has short hair. Love her regardless how she wears her hair.

Buttercup1223
December 7th, 2015, 08:09 PM
I've had short hair pretty much my whole life, but really short in the early 90's, which I loved. I actually feel the older I get the more older I look with shorter hair. Which is the exact opposite of what my mom says, lol. My mom will never support long hair on me no matter what.

calmyogi
December 7th, 2015, 08:25 PM
Judge someone? No I don't judge anyone with short hair if you want your hair like that you can have it that way, some people might not like my hair long. I don't think short hair suits all women though. Honestly I think it only suits women with certain features. I might be sounding mean, but thats my opinion. Like for instance I think Kaley Cuocoa looked hideous when she cut her hair. I have had a pixie and everything between that and BSL. I recieved a lot of comments on my pxie cut and I look really good with it just above my shoulders layered, but I personally percieve longer hair as more feminine. I suppose I would go back to a pixie, or above my shoulders again, if I felt like it. When I did cut it really short it was more about not knowing how to care for long hair than not wanting it. This and not wanting to put the time into taking care of it, in my experience, is the case for most women who hack off their locks.


EDIT: I also think that short hair styled correctly is what makes it. If it's just Short hair, it's kinda blah to me. Like someone else mentioned about a lot of women over 40 having this weird just short unstyled look.

calmyogi
December 7th, 2015, 08:35 PM
Some of these things said as a joke don't come across well on the internet, without the smile, the body language etc that a husband can have that makes jokes/teasing okay. So some things I wouldn't repeat, and this is one of them. On the other hand, if you ARE feeling hurt by the remark, I can see coming online to get advice as how to tell him gently that this is not pleasant for you to hear. I understand that you want to please him (I want to please my husband, too) and that's fine but it doesn't mean you have to accept the kinds of comments that he might be used to making to his guy friends or his sibling with thicker skins that are just not as pleasant for a wife who might be more sensitive.

The first years of marriage especially can be a lot of learning for both wife and husband. It IS okay to tell him you don't like things, sometimes even if you then have a HUGE fight, he might not do it again afterwards. this used to happen to us. I remember the time I told my husband that I didn't appreciate it very much when he took me out for anniversaries, Valentine's day, etc. to HIS favorite restaurants without asking first, what a fight we had and how he called me ungrateful and what a miserable meal it was. ON the other, he has always asked me since; he just didn't know.

The thing about online to be careful about, is that when you make the slightest remark about a husband, boyfriend or any male, the feminist contingent (which is just about every female who's had a college education in the last 40 years or so) is going to all leap in with advice about always doing everything the way you want and never doing anything for a man, blahblahblah. They've got no concept of the give and take in a normal relationship and see every little thing any man does as incipient abuse waiting to happen. they don't know you, and they don't know him and their advice is (most often) completely worthless, but when you hear it over and over, it starts to seem as if it might have some validity. It can be very toxic when you are trying to learn about a specific person and being in a relationship with them. Hence the advice not to say something that will set them off.

Unless, as I said before, you actually posting this because you are not quite comfortable with it and do want some constructive feedback as to how to make it stop, while keeping the relationship--or not, if it is an abusive one (there is such a thing, of course). But it really is hard for others to tell, as I said, not knowing you two and not knowing the nuances of the conversation.

Do enjoy your hair whatever you do.

I love your response chen bao jun! So much wisdom in it. The fight you described about between you and your husband sounds exactly like one my husband and I would have! Even if he gets upset at what I might say he does try to change, and thats what matters to me. No one can be perfect all the time.

calmyogi
December 7th, 2015, 08:41 PM
I'm actually surprised a lot of you have never heard/witnessed a woman with short hair being judged. I want to move where you live. It's extremely common in the south for people to judge short haired women and automatically label them as gay, or being without class. Because here, long hair (shoulder and down) equals tradition and femininity, whereas short hair equals rebellion and boyishness, not in the good way. I get very tired of it. Personally I'm much more prone to notice short hairstyles than long, but that's because long hair (again, shoulder length to BSL is "long" here, anything longer and you're also judged) is normal to me, whereas short styles really stand out and make me notice them.

I have been in TN for a year now and I see what you mean. A lot of women, young and old, have long hair. Personally I like it, but a coworker of mine was just telling me yesterday that his cut her hair in one of those 1940's styles with the rockabilly bangs... and people were really mean about it. Someone spray painted jabberwocky on her car. I think this was in Alabama. I like long hair, but to go out of your way to be so mean to someone about their hair is cruel. We are all different and are entitled to our own tastes.

trolleypup
December 7th, 2015, 08:47 PM
Judge? Sure...positively or negatively, can't help noticing and evaluating, but I keep my damned mouth shut.

jazzhands
December 7th, 2015, 08:49 PM
Judge someone? No I don't judge anyone with short hair if you want your hair like that you can have it that way, some people might not like my hair long. I don't think short hair suits all women though. Honestly I think it only suits women with certain features. I might be sounding mean, but thats my opinion. Like for instance I think Kaley Cuocoa looked hideous when she cut her hair. I have had a pixie and everything between that and BSL. I recieved a lot of comments on my pxie cut and I look really good with it just above my shoulders layered, but I personally percieve longer hair as more feminine. I suppose I would go back to a pixie, or above my shoulders again, if I felt like it. When I did cut it really short it was more about not knowing how to care for long hair than not wanting it. This and not wanting to put the time into taking care of it, in my experience, is the case for most women who hack off their locks.


EDIT: I also think that short hair styled correctly is what makes it. If it's just Short hair, it's kinda blah to me. Like someone else mentioned about a lot of women over 40 having this weird just short unstyled look.

As someone who used to have short hair pretty much all her life, I agree.

That is not to say you shouldn't have short hair if it makes you happy, or rainbow hair even, but some styles just suit some people better than others. Took me a long time to realise I looked awful with it myself :D I see so many girls pulling it off wonderfully though, it can look very cute and stylish! One example is Carey Mulligan

stelz
December 7th, 2015, 09:37 PM
Anyone who considers "gay" to be negative isn't worth knowing, in my book. And I'm so straight, it's a disability - I should probably get checks for it, lol.

But that said, we women do size each other up. And I AM guilty of thoughts like "she let herself go". Not for ALL short hair, though. I love the crazy colors people are doing, the buzzed portions, the edgy stuff. And I love retro - could anyone say that Jean Harlow, Marilyn Monroe, or Myrna Loy "let themselves go"? But pixie cuts - ugh. That Conway Twitty combed-back pompadour - ugh. And short shags and mullets - ugh again.

Besides, "letting yourself go" isn't exclusive to short haired women - how many have you seen with dirty, stringy hair wadded up in a cheap plastic jaw clip?

I am not judging the person's worth - I've known some wonderful people who just weren't into hair, makeup, etc. Exceptional people who would give you their last if they thought you needed it. I recognize that it's a very shallow part of my brain that notices these things. But I still do it. And women do it to me. Men look at bodies, mostly, but a woman you've just met will critique your eyeshadow, if she's outspoken enough. If not, you can still see she's checking everything out.

Some women can look good in anything. I love Louise Brooks' short, unstyled hair. But on most people, myself included, that hair would be a train wreck. It's for young, exceptionally beautiful people with long, graceful necks. I keep my hair long because my neck is short, because my hair is cow-licky, because I know I'm not all that and I need whatever beauty I can cultivate. Not everyone needs or wants to do this.

lithostoic
December 8th, 2015, 12:51 AM
Heck no! I see the appeal.

Entangled
December 8th, 2015, 07:23 AM
I have been in TN for a year now and I see what you mean. A lot of women, young and old, have long hair. Personally I like it, but a coworker of mine was just telling me yesterday that his cut her hair in one of those 1940's styles with the rockabilly bangs... and people were really mean about it. Someone spray painted jabberwocky on her car. I think this was in Alabama. I like long hair, but to go out of your way to be so mean to someone about their hair is cruel. We are all different and are entitled to our own tastes.

Spray painting someone's car is horribly rude, but I must ask: what does a Jabberwock have to with hair? Or insults?

lapushka
December 8th, 2015, 08:18 AM
Judge? Sure...positively or negatively, can't help noticing and evaluating, but I keep my damned mouth shut.

That's really it, isn't it? I mean as a guy you have so much power, women are pretty sensitive when it comes to guys judging their appearance. The best thing is to just smile and nod, and not say a thing. ;)

oceanlove
December 8th, 2015, 08:24 AM
No, I don't judge anyone based on their hair length or condition. Their hair is their deal, has nothing to do with me. Sometimes, I do get a little jealous of people who can pull off super short hair! I hear it is quite low-maintenance.

rhosyn_du
December 8th, 2015, 12:44 PM
Sometimes, I do get a little jealous of people who can pull off super short hair! I hear it is quite low-maintenance.

I think that's really dependent upon hair type. For me, short hair takes far more effort than long, because my wurls stick out in all directions unless they're long enough to start making proper waves/curls.

JadedByEntropy
December 8th, 2015, 01:07 PM
i judge people on attitude far more than length. I guess its because i've had all lengths and know the benefits that all styles can be fun to have. But i feel like if they're attitude is all-that or really self-revolving or petty...that makes them very ugly no matter what condition their hair is.

Long_hair_bear
December 8th, 2015, 01:14 PM
Only when a woman with short hair asks me how i get mine so long, i tell her, and then she says, "oh, well I couldnt live without bleaching/dying/straighening/etc..."

chen bao jun
December 8th, 2015, 02:17 PM
calmyogi,
:)
Keep enjoying your husband. We are 32 years now and still in love. I love to look at young couples, and in between couples and at older couples than us and see where we've been and where we are going if we are fortunate to both live a long time. I do think its great if we give each other a little encouragement sometimes (and advice, only if wanted) because its interesting, how every marriage is different and how we yet have so many things in common, so far as the different stages--You sound like you have an attitude of give and take and patience which is what it takes. the best advice I've ever heard about marriage is, it doesn't actually work if you think of it as 50-50. Each person has to be willing to give 100%, all the time.
:)

lilin
December 8th, 2015, 02:37 PM
Nope. My hair is currently short, at pixie starting from shaved bald (cut once to make it look more intentional once it got to a few inches long, ha ha). Honestly, I like it so much on me that I'm torn between maintaining it for a while and continuing to grow.

There's all kinds of awesome looking hair styles at all lengths. Something for everyone.

People who associate short hair with "dykiness" I just don't have time for. Using being gay as an insult makes me gag, and I get so tired of other people trying to tell women what feminine is. Feminine is whatever she decides it is, assuming she even wants to be considered feminine, which she very well might not.

I also don't have time for men who think short hair means a woman is slovenly, or not worth dating. Who died and made them king of women's heads?

In fact, the picture I used on my dating profile is intentionally put there to weed them out. I have a full-on, intentional-looking pixie now. Probably about 5 or 6 inches on top.

But the pic I use is from when my hair was only a third of an inch long. That is intentional, to keep such men out of my pool.

That aside, some men actually like short hair on women, not that this is either here nor there. Men are diverse, like women are. All of us have our preferences. It would just be nice if people kept them to themselves when it comes to other people's bodies.

Agnes Hannah
December 8th, 2015, 03:10 PM
No I don't judge, you are what you are. I wish others felt the same way though. Just recently I was told to glam up because I always wear my hair up. My acquaintance even went so far to say that my hair doesn't want to be long because it is so fine!!

arima
December 8th, 2015, 03:26 PM
To be honest I feel like if one judges a woman based on the length of hair, then one probably should go outside and meet more people a little more often. On the other hand I think men's preferences for women with longer or shorter hair is entirely their business. Just like I don't love a mustache on a guy, I respect that many don't love my short hair. The annoying thing is when they volunteer their opinion :p
But it's not taken out of the blue, the whole short hair=gay woman. Of course it's not true, but I understand that as a straight woman it makes less sense to alienate a large portion of the male population from their dating pool, while lesbians are maybe more likely to not care about that :)
Personally I love short hair on a woman, I feel like it exudes confidence and personality and brings attention to her face. It's honestly pretty fresh and cool, and if I weren't on a budget and if it didn't cost so much with the regular hair appointments, I'd totally keep mine short. But alas - long hair is a bit more practical (and also really beautiful of course).

x0h_bother
December 8th, 2015, 04:35 PM
I don't prefer short hair on myself which is why I judge people with short hair bc I'd never want that. But, mostly everyone can grow out pretty much, so at the same time I respect their choice bc I know they could be long, if they wanted to..

calmyogi
December 8th, 2015, 08:11 PM
Spray painting someone's car is horribly rude, but I must ask: what does a Jabberwock have to with hair? Or insults?

I asked that myself. He didn't go into detail, my guess is it had to do with something else as well, like maybe it was a name given to her for multiple reasons or other reasons. He isn't that old so I figured it probably happend in high school, and high schoolers are pretty vial creatures..... No offense to anyone who is still in high school lol....

calmyogi
December 8th, 2015, 08:20 PM
I didn't know judging someone for short hair was even a "thing"

But really, if you are rocking the Kate gosselin 'do I hope someone loves you enough to tell you no way girl.

There was a meme that went around that had a picture of a woman with that hair cut and it said "I want to speak to the manger hairstyle" haha

Fericera
December 10th, 2015, 09:53 AM
There was a meme that went around that had a picture of a woman with that hair cut and it said "I want to speak to the manger hairstyle" haha


Here you go!
http://i68.tinypic.com/1zlassz.jpg

Estrid
December 10th, 2015, 10:05 AM
I've had that hairstyle in that meme, I loved it (I mean it). But it was hell to keep up since the hairdresser moved and the ones that stayed behind just couldn't cut it the same way. First hairdresser did not make the back look so weird, it was more blended in (like this minus the weird colour thing going on (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/68/d0/49/68d049235870c40fd76fd994c9ea9bc7.jpg)). Made me give up on it.


/Margo

hessica_15
December 10th, 2015, 11:12 AM
Nope! I'm intimidated by short-haired women because they always appear so tall and confident! If I didn't have the smallest head in the world- I'd do it!

Vallena
December 10th, 2015, 11:20 AM
Nope, you're free to do as you please with your hair in my opinion!

sunnylove
December 10th, 2015, 11:25 AM
No, I'm actually jealous of women with short hair! It takes guts (because let's face it, long hair is more socially acceptable for women) and the fact that I don't have a good face for short hair. My face is round and my hair is not thick enough to balance that out. I think short hair is beautiful.

DreamSheep
December 10th, 2015, 12:03 PM
Nope! :) It's their personal style and preference and to be honest, even if you could make loose associations with character or preferences, it doesn't really spring to mind to me. I thought the short hair = lesbian association was now dead (or rather, I never knew it existed, but when I heard of it, I assumed it to be dead :p)

I've had many shorthair cuts in the past, most were terrible but a couple looked really good :) I enjoyed them all, and now I'm enjoying longer hair too.

rhosyn_du
December 10th, 2015, 02:50 PM
(because let's face it, long hair is more socially acceptable for women)

This is definitely something that differs from place to place. Where I live, most people think it's unprofessional for a woman to have hair longer than shoulder length. Thankfully, my director has fabulous waist-length hair, so it's less of a prejudice at the particular company and department I work for, but it's definitely something that exists in the wider culture, and the vast majority of the women I work with have hair above their shoulders.

meteor
December 10th, 2015, 04:34 PM
Nope. :D Judge? Never even occurred to me. What's there to judge?

Also, I didn't realize there were associations with short hair as being not feminine or not heterosexual? :confused: Some of those famous iconic symbols of femininity that come to mind immediately (e.g. Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn...) had short hair, and it certainly didn't make them any less feminine. Same applies to males - I just don't associate hair length with masculinity/femininity or sexual orientation.

I love many pixie styles. I love how they bring eyes, bone structure into focus. I only had a pixie ages ago, but I do sometimes fantasize about getting one again sometimes (especially when I play sports and want light-weight, no-fuss hair), but it's one of those styles that are very easy to get, but hard to maintain (frequent cuts) and take ages to grow out again if I want extreme length, so I just admire them on others. :crush:

LillithTheFirst
December 10th, 2015, 05:09 PM
I would more likely judge someone on the CONDITION of their hair than the length. If their hair is healthy and full in appearance then I find that attractive. I personally like long hair, like most people here! But for some people short hair suits them better, and therefore looks more attractive on them and vice versa.
But someones hair doesn't really affect me in anyway.

turtlelover
December 10th, 2015, 09:18 PM
Lately I've been really drawn to swingy, precision cut bobs. So....no. I tend to think long hair is the most beautiful when it is super healthy, trimmed, and well kept, but there are some short styles that are really fun that I really like as well. I don't tend to love pixies, but bobs have always appealed to me. But, my friends have all sorts of hair. I'd obviously love them just as much even if they were bald.

AutobotsAttack
December 10th, 2015, 11:42 PM
I honestly don't judge regardless of how someone wears their hair. There's a whole plethora of reasons why someone can have long or short hair and who am I to deem what is right or wrong? Most of the women I come across or have been around or grown up with are other black ladies like myself so seeing and having short hair is something I've always had and been accustomed to. However, as I have gotten older an understood how simple it is to are for hair and that no matter the hair type, hair tends to act in a somewhat unified way no matter whose head it is on ( at least to a degree), I find it is easier for me to care about for my hair. I've also educated myself enough and have watched tons of hair care videos and have seen that virtually anyone can grow their hair long. And ever since I was a little girl I've always wanted long hair. So with my new found knowledge and understanding of hair, and tons if patience and TLC, the long hair possibilities are practically endless for me.

Goatcraft
December 11th, 2015, 02:28 PM
I'm definitely in favor of long hair, really, on just about everyone.. but I don't judge those that have short hair. I always had short hair growing up.

MartinYYw95
December 12th, 2015, 04:26 AM
I'm a guy. I love short hair on women. It looks so awesome and unique.

*Wednesday*
February 7th, 2017, 05:48 PM
This post is dated but thought I’d contribute.

I have read in an article not too long ago, the article is back from 2015, how some people judge women with long hair and uphold women with shorter hair as being “styled” and unafraid of trying to try “something” new.” Here are a few excerpts from that article, which I find very shallow by the way, about long hair.

“Sure, the majority of dudes reported they prefer long-haired women. The majority of dudes are [remove expletive] boring – and the women who care to appeal to these boring men are equally as boring, in my mind.”

“Men who prefer long locks on their ladies are clearly students of the old school, conventional style of conceptualizing beauty.”

“Short hair makes other people think you have good bones, determination and an agenda,” and the way Buck sees it, “your face is no longer a flatscreen surrounded by a curtain: The world sees you in three dimensions.”
http://elitedaily.com/women/men-long-short-hair/1028759/

Take about presumptions with hair lengths. I for one am not wearing my hair long to please the male species as this gentleman in the article suggest long hairs do. I certainly don’t find myself boring. How one wears their hair is a personal choice. Long hair was considered at one time, bohemian.

As we see in this article, I think most men judge. I’m judging men by stating that and certianly not true. I’ve seen women that were so incredibly beautiful and had short hair, I didn’t even notice their hair. I normally judge people when they walk past me, if they respond to me when I smile at them. A lot of people do a double take these days, shocked by people being friendly.:D

Dewdrop
February 7th, 2017, 06:29 PM
I wouldn't say I judge women, but I do make some assessments on their characters because of it. Ladies with long, healthy hair I see as patient and nuturing, whereas ladies with shorter hair I expect to be more decisive and practical. Sometimes those pan out, sometimes not. But I don't have negative feelings for women with short hair.
Now... purely from an aesthetic point of view, I'm guilty of almost always liking longer rather than short hair on anyone. Men it's usually flipped because their hair more often than not is really damaged when long, but if taken care of I also prefer long!

Rebeccalaurenxx
February 7th, 2017, 07:01 PM
I mean, I do mentally make note to myself about damaged hair I see. But honestly it's more of a "I'm a little worried, what are they DOING?" Type of thought. I'm judging them but in my own little way I guess.

Never on length though, I've had short hair all my life so it would odd if I did.

However I did and still do get the lesbian comments from time to time. I also had random users leave anon messages in my blog asking if I was transgender. I don't know if it has to do with my hair though. When I had a pixie I picked on myself more than other people did but people did say I looked sort of butch. I either looked like a faiery or lesbian. One or the other lol. It use to hurt my feelings but it doesn't really anymore. Maybe because I stopped listening to men after some time.

Mrstran
February 7th, 2017, 08:34 PM
I wish I could have short hair and look cute, but my face is too skinny and my neck is too long. If I had a fuller face at the very least, I'd have the cutest bob! But I need my hair to hide inside of pretty much. So I'm growing long.
On the other hand, I had long hair as a child and I'd like to see that hair again anyway. So it works out.


Girls with short hair I have always viewed as confident and strong. As for attractiveness, I think it has nothing to do with hair. A beautiful face will beat hair made of pure gold silk anyday.

Flipgirl24
February 7th, 2017, 11:02 PM
I love both long and short hair depending on the style. I don't judge the person per se, just the style or condition of the hair. Some short styles are pretty yet edgy and still feminine while some long hair styles I see as matronly. If I see someone with split ends I want to split the hairs. But there is no judgement on the person.

LadyCelestina
February 7th, 2017, 11:18 PM
This post is dated but thought I’d contribute.

I have read in an article not too long ago, the article is back from 2015, how some people judge women with long hair and uphold women with shorter hair as being “styled” and unafraid of trying to try “something” new.” Here are a few excerpts from that article, which I find very shallow by the way, about long hair.

“Sure, the majority of dudes reported they prefer long-haired women. The majority of dudes are [remove expletive] boring – and the women who care to appeal to these boring men are equally as boring, in my mind.”

“Men who prefer long locks on their ladies are clearly students of the old school, conventional style of conceptualizing beauty.”

“Short hair makes other people think you have good bones, determination and an agenda,” and the way Buck sees it, “your face is no longer a flatscreen surrounded by a curtain: The world sees you in three dimensions.”
http://elitedaily.com/women/men-long-short-hair/1028759/

Take about presumptions with hair lengths. I for one am not wearing my hair long to please the male species as this gentleman in the article suggest long hairs do. I certainly don’t find myself boring. How one wears their hair is a personal choice. Long hair was considered at one time, bohemian.

As we see in this article, I think most men judge. I’m judging men by stating that and certianly not true. I’ve seen women that were so incredibly beautiful and had short hair, I didn’t even notice their hair. I normally judge people when they walk past me, if they respond to me when I smile at them. A lot of people do a double take these days, shocked by people being friendly.:D
I honestly think this was written under a pseudonym...
Basically what he/she said is - I think long hair is more attractive to men blah blah *insert nonsense* but I prefer that you cut it and now comes the dumbest part ... "then you won't be as pretty or feminine but you can make up for it by being stylish. :eyeroll: wat ? :D what kind of logic is this?
Either you like long hair and think it's pretty or you like short hair and think it's pretty. Then you meet another guy and he likes something else and that's fine. Then you meet people with long and short hair who just don't care if what they have is attractive or stylish :D

LittleQuill
February 8th, 2017, 12:04 AM
This post is dated but thought I’d contribute.

I have read in an article not too long ago, the article is back from 2015, how some people judge women with long hair and uphold women with shorter hair as being “styled” and unafraid of trying to try “something” new.” Here are a few excerpts from that article, which I find very shallow by the way, about long hair.

[COLOR="#800000"]“Sure, the majority of dudes reported they prefer long-haired women. The majority of dudes are [remove expletive] boring – and the women who care to appeal to these boring men are equally as boring, in my mind.”

“Men who prefer long locks on their ladies are clearly students of the old school, conventional style of conceptualizing beauty.”



I think I can honestly say that my partner prefers longer hair, (even on himself). I don't think some men's preference for long hair makes them shallow, or focusing only on our outer beauty. I can see some women growing their hair simply because her partner wants it. I mean, at the end of the day, we want our partners to be happy with us. On the other-hand, I view the "I'll change my appearance because my SO wants me to!" as both brain-washing and abusive. I've been in that situation before, and it's horrible. Sure, they're happy for a while, but then they realise that they can control you because you want to keep them happy, so they ask you to change other things, and before you know it, you've changed almost everything about yourself, and you no longer recognise yourself. It's hard to come out of that.


If I was to cut my hair off, sure, my partner'd be sad, but he'd grow to accept it, because he knows that it's a part of me, and no one has the right to tell me what to do, or how I should have my hair. I have long hair because I want to. Not because someone else thinks it's best for me. No one but me has the right to decide that.

HairPlease
February 8th, 2017, 11:31 AM
It's not so much the short hair as it is the context. If she has very short hair and it's pretty clear she cut it recently and also went through a break up, my brain may say something along the lines of "this person is seeking control and or change after an emotional blow" but of course I could always be wrong.

Without context it's hard to judge anyone by hair alone, but if someone has bright pink streaks it definitely tells me they have a spunky streak in their personality somewhere. :lol:

Shiranshoku
February 8th, 2017, 11:57 AM
To be honest, I've only ever seen other women say judgmental things about women's appearances, including their hair.

There are certain hairstyles that have connotations for me. A boyish cut combined with a more masculine style, and yeah, I might think she's a lesbian. But that's not a bad thing, imho. It's perfectly natural.

People assess other people based on looks all the time.

I do hate the 'your hair is short you mist b x, y, z' even if the person already said they're not.

OhSuzi
February 8th, 2017, 12:46 PM
I've rocked a pixie and side buzz cut. I've been politely mistaken for a boy or young man and I've been asked if I was gay - I'm none of these things. But they just made me laugh. Everyone has preconceived ideas and associates certain shapes colours etc as signs for something, it's a natural part of human language and how we communicate. Some people deliberately use those symbols and stereotypes to express something about them, or to be a part of something, like dying hair black to show your a goth, whilst others just dye it black ,cause they feel like it or cause it suits them and others just have black hair naturally and may or may not be a goth. Some people feel they're goths but have blonde curly hair.
I like experimenting with hair, iv always done different things to it every month or so, so it's never had a chance to grow. Now I'm trying a new experiment where I grow my hair natural, it'll take much longer than a month. Once I'm there maybe I'll keep it, maybe I'll just see it as an opportunity to do lots of long hair styles and colours and experiments I couldn't do when it was short.
Hair that's long, short, straight, wavy, curly, ginger, brown, green has never bothered me. I might be a bit judgey if I see really badly conditioned hair, overprocessed blond with frizzy dry ends with obvious gluey hair extensions pulling at the roots. I've seen aspiring glamour model people on reality to shows like that and if they have a smug arrogant attitude I'm more likely to be bitchy about their hair, if they come across as nice friendly people I'm more inclined to let the state of their hair slide and be less judgey.
Different hair styles suit different people, my other half doesn't seem to care whether it's long or short, he's just always asking me to dye it blue again - I don't know if it's just he really likes blue, or if blue symbolises something punky and exciting, or if the colour suits me, or he associates it with the time I had blue hair and we had a really nice holiday and I was at my slimmest and most confident. Some people are attracted to long, some short, some don't care as long as they're red heads, some don't care at all as long they're getting some tonight! Some just don't care.
At the end of the day most people are probably a lot more self absorbed and too busy worrying about how they look and what their hair is like to worry about other people's. At the end of the day it's your hair it's up to you whether your Styling it for fun, in protest, to be more masculine, without out any thought at all - as long as you like it.

The Maple Leaf
February 10th, 2017, 12:44 AM
I don't judge anyone on their hair length. Why someone chooses to have a certain length of hair can be due to a whole host of reasons, and it doesn't make them a good or bad person.

As for personal preference, I like long hair, but also some short hair. In general, I like bobs. Actually, for me, a more important thing than how long the hair is is that - on a woman - it be one length. This may sound like a strange preference, but I actually prefer a chin-length bob that's all one length all around to very long hair that's been layered. IMO the average woman would look best if she did not go shorter than chin-length, but some women do look good with even shorter bobs; I do like those severe bobs that came down to only the ears/nape that were common in the 90s, or alternatively an angled bob (again, as long as it is blunt cut, I don't like layers in general). Very short hair (a "gamine" or "pixie") on a woman is not really my cup of tea, but OK, maybe 5% of women can pull it off. Here, though, I am only talking about my preferences. I find it silly to judge people based on their hair length. In and of itself, it tells nothing significant about a person and forming a serious impression about them on the basis of it seems a waste of time to me.

adrenaline
February 10th, 2017, 01:38 AM
How do you feel about women with short hair? If you don't like it, why? So many people seem to have negative connotations to short hair, and I'd like to know why.

If you have ever had short hair, what changed your mind to grow it long? Just a personal decision, or did you feel pressured to have long hair? For you who have long hair, if for some reason you had to cut it short, do you think you would feel less attractive? Or would you cut it short then say f- you to anyone who doesn't like it?


I don't associate a woman with short hair with being gay, actually. It never came to my mind to think that automatically ? Maybe it's because i know many women with short hair, who are married or in a relationship with a man. I think, one of these women has short hair, because she often dyes them in different colors and cutting them short is a way to keep them healthy.

Sometimes short hair even looks better than long hair, the best example is Winona Ryder, i think! It looks so great! To be honest, though, i think, women need a cute face to wear short haircuts. Since i don't think that my face shape fits, i don't think a short haircut would suit me. So it's not for me!

Coral Grimes
February 10th, 2017, 02:18 AM
I don't tend to notice people's hair much, unless it's because I really like it, and I certainly don't judge anyone by their hair (or physical appearance in general). I had short hair for a lot of years and I loved it, even if I did get mistaken for a young boy quite a few times (I'm not easily offended so I just laughed). I don't care who doesn't like what on me, if I like it I'm going to wear it, be it clothing or hairstyle.

There is one thing I dislike about women with short hair and that's that it gives me the urge to chop mine off again! :p

LadyCelestina
February 10th, 2017, 05:21 AM
I wonder if the short hair = lesbian is only true for the US as a stereotype? Since here short hair is associated mostly with women who juggle work and family and have no time to care for long hair or older women.

lapushka
February 10th, 2017, 09:39 AM
Why judge long or short hair even at all. It's "just" hair, right. ;) No, we don't feel that way, but in the grand scheme of things, where other things matter or take precedence over hair, it is "only" hair. Right? :)

proo
February 10th, 2017, 10:16 AM
Sometimes it looks darling
But it always strikes me as way more upkeep and fussing

*Wednesday*
February 10th, 2017, 06:50 PM
...Sometimes short hair even looks better than long hair, the best example is Winona Ryder, i think! It looks so great! To be honest, though, i think, women need a cute face to wear short haircuts. Since i don't think that my face shape fits, i don't think a short haircut would suit me. So it's not for me!

I agree. Halle Berry is another one I'll add. She just looks so much better in a short pixie hair. I shows her features so much nicer. When she wears her hair longer, it doesn't look as nice. I agree with Winona.

desu
February 10th, 2017, 10:37 PM
Why would I judge someone for their hair length lol? Some women (Not me :() looks absolutely stunning in short hair.

Pantha
February 11th, 2017, 12:10 PM
I don't judge women with short hair.
But...
I have to admit I do judge men and women with very damaged hair and though I won't comment on it I want to send them over here for some advice.
I don't think it matters how someone chooses to wear their hair, but I do think that with just a little bit of know how they could easily keep their hair healthy.

Hairkay
February 11th, 2017, 03:14 PM
No I don't judge women by the length of their hair. I do notice how hair is styled though. I appreciate creative hair styling no matter what the length. I like when a person uses the hair that they've got for best effect though occasionally I have seen some nice styles with hair extensions that I like. I can't say that wigs excite me so it's best if I remain ignorant as to who's wearing a wig or not.

lapushka
February 11th, 2017, 04:21 PM
No I don't judge women by the length of their hair. I do notice how hair is styled though. I appreciate creative hair styling no matter what the length. I like when a person uses the hair that they've got for best effect though occasionally I have seen some nice styles with hair extensions that I like. I can't say that wigs excite me so it's best if I remain ignorant as to who's wearing a wig or not.

These days it's hard to tell; wigs are so *real* these days! And thank goodness, because some people have to wear them out of necessity.

adrenaline
February 12th, 2017, 07:31 AM
I agree. Halle Berry is another one I'll add. She just looks so much better in a short pixie hair. I shows her features so much nicer. When she wears her hair longer, it doesn't look as nice. I agree with Winona.

Yes, definitely, Halle Berry is one of these women, too! It's really strange, somehow: with longer hair, Winona Ryder and Halle Berry look so ... unrecognizable and inconspicuous :confused: I'd never remember their faces with the longer hair. I'd see them, and almost immediately i'd forget them. With the pixie haircut, they look more ... characteristic and recognizable, i think. This haircut just suits them really well! :D

Kae612
February 12th, 2017, 08:36 AM
These days it's hard to tell; wigs are so *real* these days! And thank goodness, because some people have to wear them out of necessity.

I agree! I've seen some fantastic wigs I never would have guessed were wigs if I didn't know what the person's hair looked like.

rusika1
February 12th, 2017, 09:14 AM
I don't see that it's any of my business how other people wear their hair. They aren't there to decorate my world.:D


(Okay, I will admit that the blond woman with the kind of hair extensions that have the little metal clips disturbed me, but that was because they'd grown out about two inches and she had her hair pulled up into a very messy bun. It looked like she had some sort of horrible growths all over her head.)

JillRenee
February 12th, 2017, 09:29 AM
I just love that phrase,"They aren't here to decorate my world."
As someone, who in the past, has been bullied pretty severely for weight issues as well as severe acne: No way would I judge anyone based on their hairstyle. Unless their hair was extremely dirty or unkempt. Still, I would keep quiet and not be rude. But mentally I would wonder why.

Chant
February 12th, 2017, 10:01 AM
I currently am one of the women with short hair. I have never judged anyone based on hair length. I have seen so many ladies who rock a short hairstyle, and when I get to know them it fits their personality, too. I admit I get privately judgey about poor hygiene or severely damaged hair, but it's not the sort of thing I'd say to someone. Nor would I ever treat them badly for it.

I have decided to grow my hair largely out of curiosity. Due to many chemical treatments in the past, the fact that my hair is extremely fine and also fairly thin, and that I have always been told (by hairdressers) that my hair is too thin and fine to look good long, I have kept it either very short or just to shoulder length, never longer. I made the decision this year to cut off all the color treatment and embrace my natural salt and pepper, so I figured there's no better time than now to see how it goes. I have always had a fairly cavalier attitude about my hair, changing it on a whim or doing whatever. I even shaved myself bald one summer just to see what it was like. It was fun but a lot of work keeping it stubble free. So why not go the other way now? I know I'll have to take a lot better care of it and be way more careful than I ever have before if I want it long and healthy.

I wouldn't say it's societal pressure that has brought me to the decision. I feel happy with myself regardless of my hair length. This will just be different, and different can be fun. Plus hair sticks are really amazing, and I have always been envious of elaborate up-dos. They're just so pretty!

marvel-lover
February 12th, 2017, 10:02 AM
Everyone has the right to feel beautiful and good about themselves. If short hair makes a woman feel beautiful, then I will 100% support it and tell her that she's beautiful. It's all relative; just because I feel beautiful with long hair doesn't mean that is the only standard of beauty

Garnetgem
February 12th, 2017, 08:59 PM
No i have never judged women with short hair just as i never judge men with long hair..nearly all women in my home town have short hair and its rare to see any long haired ladies so if you have long hair here you stick out quite a bit..if they are happy with it short then its their choice just as long hair is my choice..it would be rude and rather cruel to judge anyways.

pandabarrier
March 14th, 2017, 10:18 AM
No, I don't judge women with short hair.
I recently went to a family reunion, and noticed one of my sister-in-laws cut her hair short (bob), after trying to grow long hair for a couple of years.
I was hoping long hair care could be one more chitchat topic with sister-in-law, because there are still awkward moments of silence whenever I meet DH's family.
Sister-in-law said she grew to APL, but it didn't look healthy, so she decided to get a bob haircut, and is much happier. I totally understand her decision, I'm glad people can have more choices.

Stepo_NiNha
March 14th, 2017, 12:09 PM
No, I think everyone must find the best haircut/hairstyle they feel the most comfortable at.

ArtificiallyRed
March 14th, 2017, 12:42 PM
No, to each to their own. I used to have a pixie myself, I miss how easy it was but it didn't suit me!

Anje
March 14th, 2017, 01:55 PM
Obviously not, since I'm doing the short hair thing for a while as something new. ;) People make decisions all the time about what they like best or what's best for them, and that's OK.

Schmittay13
March 14th, 2017, 02:13 PM
I think pixie's can be cute on people if that's what they want and have the right face for it. I prefer long hair because I just love feeling feminine, and feeling like a greek goddess. I think I notice the health of people's hair more than the length sometimes. Super long hair that is damaged stands out to me, and the same with short hair. I'm honestly not a fan of short hair on myself. I think I judge short hair on myself the most.

Aredhel
March 14th, 2017, 03:22 PM
I never judge people on their hair. Personally I don't appreciate when people give me their unsolicited negative opinions of my hair, so I don't do that to other people. Words I like to live by - their body, their choice. I actually happen to love short hair on most people (I adore long angled bobs!!!)

Lauraes
March 14th, 2017, 03:35 PM
Nope! I think short hair is just as pretty as long hair. :)

sarahthegemini
March 14th, 2017, 03:40 PM
I don't care enough about other people's hair choices to form a judgement tbh. If they're happy, s'all good.

Fia
March 15th, 2017, 06:29 AM
Nope, no judgement from my side. By choice I've had everything from a buzz cut to hip length hair myself.

Kiiruna
March 15th, 2017, 06:43 AM
yES of course i judge everyone every time thats my civil right!!!11!

Just kidding. Of course I don't, why would I do that?

elfgirl
April 18th, 2017, 12:33 PM
No judgement here either. I had long hair pretty much constantly until 22, then got a pixie cut, had a buzz cut in 2014, came out as a lesbian in 2015 (a process that was over a decade in the making) and now in 2017, still have a pixie cut :) I'm planning to grow it out, someday... :)

alimc
April 18th, 2017, 12:42 PM
My best bud has short hair, and she rocks it! However a woman wants to express herself is awesome by me..... :applause

Mlarmour
April 18th, 2017, 12:44 PM
No judgment here. My mum has always had short hair. She's from Germany and women of a certain age there have always had short hair. Growing up the only adult I knew with 'long' hair was my aunt with her long hair that she cut into a chin length bob. The hair on other people has never bothered me unless jumping with head lice - I don't want that near me.

Tosca
April 18th, 2017, 04:55 PM
Other people can do what they like with their hair. However, if a woman constantly complains about not being able to grow her hair long while applying heat every day and bleaching/permanent dyeing it and other damaging practices, I do have to wonder about her common sense.

Sarahlabyrinth
April 18th, 2017, 05:30 PM
Other people can do what they like with their hair. However, if a woman constantly complains about not being able to grow her hair long while applying heat every day and bleaching/permanent dyeing it and other damaging practices, I do have to wonder about her common sense.

I don't think it's a lack of common sense - it's just that they have never learned that this kind of handling often damages it enough to break it so it appears to not grow. The hairdressers probably don't tell them to never do these things.

marvel-lover
April 18th, 2017, 05:32 PM
Honestly, I tend to envy some of the women I see with pixie cuts. I don't have the facial structure to pull off short hair like that, and they look super cute! As far as I'm concerned, people can do whatever they want with their hair. Every woman deserves to feel like the pretty princess she is

spirals
April 18th, 2017, 06:20 PM
https://s20.postimg.org/70crk3nvh/Screenshot_2017-04-18_at_7.19.00_PM.png

Yes, I do. If I see a short head of hair on a female I decide whether I like it or not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That said, I think you're confusing the word judge with the word condemn.

mousehouse
April 18th, 2017, 08:34 PM
No, I don't judge women with short hair.... but I guess I have due to circumstances; there's this one girl that my boyfriend used to, er, have relations with, and shes around a lot and she's usually fairy rude to me, and she has short hair... and I tell myself that my hair makes me prettier. Its a super petty and shallow thought to have but it's one that I've had, if we're being honest. I don't think I've ever judged anybody else for their short hair. I generally think shorties are brave, only because I've always been too afraid to give it ago.

spidermom
April 18th, 2017, 08:38 PM
I'm often making judgments about whether I like the cut or not.

Rebel Rebel
April 18th, 2017, 11:51 PM
I always thought Grace Jones and Annie Lennox looked incredible with short hair. I'm sure there are others. I always thought a certain kind of bob could look very chic too. I think "judge" is a harsh word but I definitely don't like some short hairstyles just as I don't like some long styles. It always amazes me when someone with long beautiful hair cuts it off. I probably feel that way because of my thin/fine seemingly slowish growing hair. I definitely love long hair on most people but can appreciate the woman who wears short hair well.

JadedByEntropy
April 19th, 2017, 12:42 AM
https://s20.postimg.org/70crk3nvh/Screenshot_2017-04-18_at_7.19.00_PM.png

Yes, I do. If I see a short head of hair on a female I decide whether I like it or not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That said, I think you're confusing the word judge with the word condemn.

THIS. same haha

Tosca
April 19th, 2017, 02:50 AM
I don't think it's a lack of common sense - it's just that they have never learned that this kind of handling often damages it enough to break it so it appears to not grow. The hairdressers probably don't tell them to never do these things.

That's a fair point

liliala
April 19th, 2017, 03:03 AM
I had short hair during most of my teenage years but I didn't care at all about what people thought about it at the time, so I don't recall any particular judgement from those years.

However the last time I cut my hair short around three years ago (I went from shoulder length to a buzz cut) the reactions were quite interesting. I can't say that it felt judgemental, but my straight male friends didn't seem to like it so much, while all my female friends and gay male friends loved it. And for the first time in my life, women were hitting on me on a regular basis. I wasn't really bothered by it, but I am straight and it was quite funny :)