Absolutely 100% sick and tired of my hair

[moniquerenaud]

I'm so fed up with my hair. I used to LOVE my hair and for the past 2 months I can't stand it. I've had maybe one or two good hair days? I have 1a/1b hair, it's more on the thin side than thick but not too thin. I highlight it about every two months, which I hate. I shower no more than every other day/every 3 days but lately I've even stretched it longer bc winter break. It's naturally blonde but the roots are really dark and the underneath layer of my hair is the ugliest dark colour. I used to have the nicest easiest hair and I don't know what I've changed in my routine but lately it's been oily, staticky, dull, not a nice colour, and I don't even know if it's growing. Maybe it's just winter I don't know but I miss my nice hair, does anyone have any advice? Here's my routine to help out:
Shampoo-undecided. CANNOT find a good one, but always sulfates free (though I only started that at the end of summer?)
conditioner- blonde glam by redken, sometimes come free tressemme naturals, sometimes any random one
oil- as a leave in ill sometimes use morraccan oil
yes I've used clarifying shampoos thinking that's the problem, never really did much.

[MeowScat]

I'm having the same static problem, which happens every single winter. I'm thinking about putting a humidifier in the bedroom when I sleep. Maybe some Mineral Oil on damp hair might help. Hmmm..

I have a very oily scalp as well. It has gotten better since I switched to The Body Shop Rainforest Balance Shampoo. It has no silicones, no sulphates, no colourants, and no parabens (says it on the label). I get mine from amazon since I don't get out much. My bottle is only 8.4 ounces, but it lasts me several months. A little goes a long way.

Scalp washes are awesome, as well. They have saved my length a lot of washing damage.

Have you tried honey lightening? There are threads here about it. I've never tried it, but some LHCers seem to like the results. I wish I knew how to post a link.

[moniquerenaud]

Your hair in your signature is actually perfect I'm so jealous �� and I saw that shampoo, I was considering it, there's just soooo many shampoos out there and I hate having to buy them constantly and waste a whole bottle because my hair didn't love it:( and hmm honey lighting might help me out, honey blonde is the colour blonde I want anyways..

[woodswanderer]

Worst case scenario, you have honey for tea I suppose.

[Firefox7275]

Clarify and chelate, you may have to do this two or three times if you have a lot of build up or have used highly substantive ingredients. Then work with your hair properties (porosity, coarseness, elasticity) when choosing ingredients and products.

Highlighting is one of the worst things you can do, since some sections will be processed multiple times. You can end up with a dry and damaged canopy especially at the ends. This can have totally different properties and needs to the virgin roots and under layers. Have you considered an all over colour which just slightly lightens the overly dark areas, and is touched up roots only for least damage? Are you consistently protecting the bleached areas from sunlight?

For bleached hair proven ingredients include coconut oil, hydrolysed protein, ceramides, 18-MEA and panthenol. Coarse hair tends not to do well with protein, low porosity hair does not benefit from penetrating coconut oil.

[teela1978]

A few thoughts:

1) It's winter, everyone's hair is staticky flat and flyaway :) My favorite way of dealing is to use hand lotion on my hands and then smooth the tiniest bit over my length once most of it is rubbed into my skin. Still flat but less flyaway.
2) did you like your hair when you were shampooing with sulfates? A slow departure from good hair can happen when you change a routine for the worse. Perhaps sulfate-free just isn't for your hair? (mine doesn't do well without sulfates, but everyone's head is different!)
3) I can't use oil as a leave in, how long have you been doing that? Some people's hair soaks it up like crazy and the oil makes it look great. It leaves my hair flat and icky no matter how little I use. My hair loves it as a pre-wash oil treatment though.

[redtuss]

OP - have you considered build-up?

You say that you use sulphate-free shampoo but conditioners with silicons, which may lead to some nasty build-up that makes the hair feel yucky. Try to clarify and also consider going cone-free or do a clarification every now and then in addition to a sulphate-free shampoo.

I hope it helps :)

[lapushka]

Clarify and chelate, you may have to do this two or three times if you have a lot of build up or have used highly substantive ingredients. Then work with your hair properties (porosity, coarseness, elasticity) when choosing ingredients and products.

That was my initial thought as well. Clarifying, if not once, twice or even three times. Sulfate free and lots of silicones might be too much for the sulfate free shampoo to handle. And since you've been using sulfate free since summer, without clarifying too much, that might be a lot of build up you need to get rid of.

I also second that bleaching isn't the best. Your hair might need some protein.

[Gothchiq]

How are you doing nutritionally? That affects your hair too. A balanced diet is essential. You might also experiment with a dilute apple cider vinegar rinse in the shower after washing and conditioning. Winter is not being kind to my hair either. I have been using a little argan oil that I work in when it's still damp from the shower. The "moroccan" oils tend to be a mixture and some of them contain gunky crap that's not so good for your hair. Try straight argan oil and see if that improves things. Nexxus makes some very nice, mild shampoos, if you're concerned that you may be stripping your hair. I like it best of all salon brands.

[SM]

I suggest the humidifier (or the wet towel hanging from the closet door) in your room. Most of the unpleasant things my hair does during winter are due to the lack of humidity in the air and restoring some of it helps quite a bit.

[RancheroTheBee]

I'm using the same Tresemme conditioner as you, and it's been working out pretty well. I also use the Eversleek sulphate-free shampoos, and I'm pretty pleased with it. I would recommend it, but it's also pretty expensive, as most sulphate-frees are. My hair is pretty coarse, for the record, so this works for me, but maybe not for you.

As for the oil, which brand are you using? I wanted to use Moroccan, but every single one I found was stuffed with 'cones and I tried one of them a while ago, and after two weeks, my hair felt crunchy, oily, sticky and became very dull. A lot of the "oils" I find in the haircare aisle are mostly dimethicone and hydrolyzed protein. I've settled with using straight oils (like coconut, which I find is fairly light) and the Dr. Miracle's oil (which is not light and really, really smells if you're not careful, but works well for me).

[truepeacenik]

I'm reading buildup and not liking the natural color.
What's funny is if you posted a picture, at least three people would say they try to get that color.
It's simple grass is greener math.

Do a serious clarifying. Then again. Use a moisturizing SMT. Maybe protein, or find a pack of each.

Most winters, I just hang on til spring.
I keep a misting bottle of water and spritz randomly.

[Angel_Abby]

Winter is my hair-up time. When it rains, my waves turn into ringlets and when its cold and dry- they're a frizzy mess, no matter how much I moisturize. So I play the 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' game and just pin it up. Its also a great time for half ups which look sort of like you did the messy part on purpose! LOL

Have you tried diluting your shampoo? It helps me get enough shampoo on my scalp to clean without having so much that irritates my scalp condition. REALLY nice routine for me. Hope that your hair woes are getting better! :)

[swearnsue]

Dry winter air is awful for my hair. I'm misting it many times a day and have two humidifiers going 24/7. It really helps. For the winter I add three drops of mineral oil to the mister bottle as mineral oil is an anti-static ingredient.

[swearnsue]

I'm reading buildup and not liking the natural color.
What's funny is if you posted a picture, at least three people would say they try to get that color.
It's simple grass is greener math.

Do a serious clarifying. Then again. Use a moisturizing SMT. Maybe protein, or find a pack of each.

Most winters, I just hang on til spring.
I keep a misting bottle of water and spritz randomly.

I agree with this.

[heidi w.]

I recommend clarifying with baking soda. Do not switch how your shampoo your hair to baking soda. Baking soda is ONLY for clarifying. Mix with 3 T of your choice of shampoo. Blend really well 3 T each of shampoo and baking soda. Use fairly warm water. Then wash every 3rd day with Biolage Humidifying Shampoo and Condition the hair with Biolage Conditioning Balm These are a bit pricey and not available at the grocery store. But they last a long time. Condition the hair from the earlobes on down; leave scalp hair up to sebum to oil. Then let the hair air dry and oil the length from the earlobes on down. Do NOT oil scalp hair whatsoever. I always caution this because oiling an oily scalp can cause scalp problems. Find a nice spray in detangler and let the hair be. Detangling spray is put on before oiling the hair which is generally done on dry hair.
heidi w.

[moniquerenaud]

When you say clarify more than once do u mean like more than once in one washing (clarify rinse repeat?) or like use clarifying shampoo for my next 2 or 3 wash days

[jextxadore]

When you say clarify more than once do u mean like more than once in one washing (clarify rinse repeat?) or like use clarifying shampoo for my next 2 or 3 wash days

Baking soda, even fairly diluted, is very strong, in my experience. I wouldn't use it more than once a fortnight, once in one washing session, absolute max.

I've never tried what Heidi suggests, mixing BS and shampoo —*when I used baking soda as my everyday (okay, every few days) shampoo (summer 2012 —*after that I converted to water only and since then only coconut oil and water have touched my hair at all), just pure baking soda in a jug of hot water was more than enough to get all the oil out of my hair. It would make it so dry that, before my vinegar rinse, I couldn't scratch my scalp (the hair, without any oil, just wouldn't "slide").

I'd add a warning to comb well before the BS (whether you do it straight or with shampoo) and keep the comb on hand. It's nothing like using shampoo and can be a surprise the first time.

[truepeacenik]

I've made paste of baking soda and shampoo and scrubbed my scalp. And rinsed slowly, so I guess that's a clarifying treatment.
It was for buildup post camping/falling in muck.

Using Heidi's method, clarify once.
Using a shampoo? Either lather rinse repeat (and only for this. Dumb labeling) or try a couple washes in a row.

[moniquerenaud]

I usually only shampoo my scalp, but for clarifying I should include the ends right, like to get the build up off them?

[ErinLeigh]

I usually only shampoo my scalp, but for clarifying I should include the ends right, like to get the build up off them?

Yes for clarifying or chelating wash all hair not just scalp.
When i do it I wash twice in a row. I follow this with honey/aloe/non cone conditioner mix.
Then i do nothing to my hair and let it dry so I can see what I am working with as far as if you think hair woukd benefit from more moisture or perhaps some protein.

I personally like variances in blond hair so its hard to me imagine your color not being great. Could just be winter blahs. Summer makes everything feel brighter, especially hair! What color do you want hair to be? If you do not like the darker vs lighter, are you looking for all over color ? I bleach my hair but I know there is no way to keep it one color all over. And I also know upkeep is difficult. You cannot keep bleaching same pieces so hair can get that patch work quilt look of too many colors all over with bleach. You could always find a nice all over shade that agrees with your mood. Roots touch ups are so much easier.

On another note, when I was using cones, Sulfate free shampoo only did not work for me. Hair got lank and dry. You may have to consider either adding a sulfate shampoo every couple of washes or using something besides cones if you notice this is indeed the issue.
I now love sulfate free shampoos, but I had to stop comes to enjoy them, and I still do an SLS every 7th wash.
Oh I also find my hair seemed darker and less shiny when I had what I considered cone buildup. Maybe its as simple as re setting to like color again.

The perfect compromise may be to simply find a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner with water soluable silicones if you line them better then oils. And find a leave in serum with same criteria. Water soluable cones are out there but you have to search hard for them. Ugh.

I try a ton of shampoos so have taken to buying sample sizes when I can. This let's me experiment without guilt. I actually enjoy trying new shampoos and conditioner greatly. Its a luxury to me :)
I would see if its more than shampoo. It comes down to the need to find the right shampoo, conditioner and leave in or serum for me. Too many products that don't work well together make hair non cooperative to me.

[ErinLeigh]

oh, I find when my hair feels all around icky..some honey co washes make my hair behave way better. The extra moisture helps.