How to put down the scissors

[tambalina]

I have been having difficulties growing out my hair. (I've been a member for a few years and have never let it get to armpit length before I decided to chop it all off again.)

I have recommitted myself to get it to *at least* that length, but I have a hard time letting my hair grow out all uneven. I am finally to a point where I think I can stop fussing at it. Although I just updated my signature pic and see that I have a few pieces that are uneven and even now I am wrestling with the idea of just snipping those few pieces. It usually ends up being more. (This is why I don't pluck my eyebrows without someone watching with me so I don't end up with a thin strip of single hairs where my eyebrows used to be.)

Do you all have any suggestions to help me with this manic sense of "perfection" and how to overcome it? I don't want to waste the 6 months I've been growing out my pixie cut.

[spidermom]

I'm afraid I can't help you much with that. I must keep my hem even and get it trimmed every 3 months. In spite of that, well, you can see how long it has gotten.

[embee]

Sounds sorta compulsive! ;) We've all got some of that, but maybe not all for Hair.

I recall reading in a gardening magazine some years ago, a letter to an old lady gardener guru. The writer was complaining about finding all these various bugs in the garden, and though they didn't seem to be doing much damage just seeing them was upsetting, and what advice did the old lady guru have to offer, please.

The old lady guru suggested: take off your glasses before going into the garden.

There should be some variation of that which could help you? Soon you'll be able to put your hair back or up, and then it really can be "out of sight, out of mind".

Good luck!

[chrissy-b]

I have always loved an even hemline. Like you, when I'd cut my hair I would always end up taking more off than I expected to because I'd have to have it lay just right. Sometimes I would be cutting the style for a few days in a row because I'd notice a few stragglers here and there every time I styled and I just couldn't stand it.

What has helped me the most while growing out without any trims is wearing my hair up. I wear it up everyday, no matter what. My hemline is so uneven and I can barely stand it anymore, but I've promised myself I wouldn't cut until the end of the year and to make it until then I just keep it up.

Maybe you could try challenging yourself in a similar way and go a couple of months without cutting and wear it up that whole time. It has helped me to gain about six inches in the last 8 months. It may help you too.

[Periwinkle]

Can you wear your hair up? Out of sight is out of mind. I habitually wear my hair up all the time; 99 days out of a hundred, it's only down to comb or wash.

You could also investigate messy styles (think tiny crocodile clips, messy buns, that sort of thing) so that you can't even tell it's uneven.

[tambalina]

My sig pic was taken this morning. There just really isn't enough length to DO anything with it, really. I can only manage half-dos at this time and they look rather strange to me (IMO.) It's comforting to know that other people have struggled with this as well.

I will do my best until it is long enough that I can do some peacock twists with claws. ::sigh:: It *will* be a struggle for me, though.

[Reptilia]

I'm more of a "how to put down that box of dye" kind of girl. The issue was that I would see an old picture of myself with a hair colour I liked then, so I'd dye it right away. A couple months later, I'd decide I liked a different colour better.

Now if I'm getting the "itch" I just look at pictures of myself with my current hair colour, or look up hair inspriation with people with similar colours.

You could try that with cutting. Before getting it done, look at pictures of long hair and then decide. Look at pictures of your short hair compared to longer hair, and remind yourself how you felt the last time it was short.

[sherigayle]

Whenever I need some willpower I find something to treat myself with when I reach my goal. Maybe a really nice hair toy when you reach a certain length to use it. I like to treat myself to a nice handbag or new shoes.

[fxdwgchick]

I agree with Periwinkle. At your length (and it's so sleek and obviously healthy), you can do some really funky updo's. You could do some punkish little french twist and leave little spikes on top, or fan it out (kind of anime`). Mine always grows unevenly...I'm just usually so busy with life in general, that I don't have time to think about it, so I keep it up until I wash it...

[paper]

Your hair is so shiny and silky looking. It will be gorgeous long.

[tambalina]

Thank you, ladies, for the wonderful compliments. I appreciate your nudges of motivation. I know that, this too, shall pass.

<----- Is a bit impatient. :-)

[Melisande]

Yes, it will pass eventually ;-) but what to do until then?

I don't have the hemline obsession, my hemline is uneven and I don't really care (wear my hair bunned anyway). But I have other obsessions so I understand you well.

Maybe it helps if you set yourself smaller units of time? "I won't consider cutting until the end of October. Then let's see what I'll decide". And then you measure it and see, wow, it's grown and it would be a pity to cut it "until early December".

this is how I bridge unpleasant time spans. I even send myself reminders in the mail. It helps only if you are bit :confused: like me....

And try some updos, just for the fun of discovering chaotic hair. Your hair looks beautiful, like Louise Brooks whom I adore. It will look even better when long.

[*BelievingAgain]

Hi Tambalina! :waving:

I found I had the same problem when trying to cut my own hair, just because I couldn't stand the condition of the ends a moment longer (it was only about collar-bone length then, but all over the place). For the next week (at least!) I kept trimming bits here, there and everywhere until my hair was ear-length and still uneven!

I couldn't stand the unevenness (and was running out of hair in the process!) so not long after that, I took myself off to a well-qualified/recommended H.D, who gave me the most achingly precise hemline, and my urge to cut was well and truly gone.

So I take it when you are referring to cutting your hair, you mean you are doing it yourself? If that's the case, and you really want to abandon the scissors, then maybe booking a lovely, indulgent session with a really, really great hairdresser (harder said than done sometimes, I know) and explain clearly to them that you want a really, precisely blunt hemline. Once you're sure that they've done a great job, then tell yourself that it looks great (because it will) and under NO circumstances would you need to cut... If you see little hairs sticking out here and there, then IGNORE them. Give yourself a hair treatment instead, or play with some little clips. Just don't cut.

I know exactly where you're coming from with this, sometimes I think we all just need to step back a little from the mirror. The things I've spent my (so-far short) life worrying about are things that other people have never even noticed. I'm looking forward to growing with you!! :flower: