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moniquerenaud
January 2nd, 2014, 09:45 PM
So I'm just wondering if together we could create a list of things you should absolutely not do if you want any hope of growing long hair. I feel like I've been trying for ever to get it to hip/tailbone length and it just does not feel like its growing past an inch or 2 around waist. Maybe I'm doing things to my hair that are 100% preventing it to grow where I want it? (ex. highlighting it, wearing it down a lot, etc.). I think a pretty simple list of hair don'ts could be beneficial to a lot of people:D

woodswanderer
January 2nd, 2014, 10:03 PM
I think it would be more useful as a list of best practices to try to do. Whatever might get listed as an absolute don't will be doable for someone because we all have different hair types. For example, bleaching is generally considered bad, but some members here bleach their hair blonde carefully and have lovely long hair. I, for example, wear my hair loose most of the time and I can easily grow past tailbone at least, but it is common for some people to need to wear hair up to grow long. My hair hates protein, but other people have great results with it....we are all so different.

It would be helpful if we had an idea of how long you have been stalled out in your growth and what things you do to your hair and what products you use if you want specific help for yourself.

woodswanderer
January 2nd, 2014, 10:10 PM
Generally speaking though, I personally would consider bleaching, chemical dyeing, straightening, hot setting blow drying, hairspray, heat curling and Brazilian blow outs to all be damaging.

Madora
January 2nd, 2014, 10:17 PM
Never brush hair when it is wet!

A brush is NOT, repeat NOT, a detangler!

HintOfMint
January 3rd, 2014, 12:23 AM
If you have the time, perhaps you should post your routine so we can pinpoint where you're incurring damage.

Generally speaking, rough brushing and detangling can create a lot of mechanical damage very, very quickly. I know girls who rarely heatstyle or color, but violently brush their hair multiple times a day and they wonder why their hair isn't growing. It's not often talked about, and most people talk about the damage that heat, chemical perms/straightening/relaxers, bleach/peroxide, and hairspray causes, but mechanical damage often is just as bad.
I wear my hair down and it tangles, but because I detangle very gently, using my fingers, I don't get that much damage from it. When I used to rip through them with a brush, my ends would fray and break almost instantly.

jeanniet
January 3rd, 2014, 12:57 AM
Never brush hair when it is wet!

A brush is NOT, repeat NOT, a detangler!



Here's one of those instances that woodswanderer was talking about. I agree that most hair types shouldn't brush wet (certainly not with a BBB), nor detangle with a brush, but many curlies have very good results detangling wet with either a Tangle Teezer or a Denman. I use a Denman myself, because it creates great clumps, and it is completely non-damaging if done correctly (drenched with conditioner). In fact, Terri Laflesh of TightlyCurly uses a Denman and has hair past waist curly and past TB stretched.

My big don't would be regular use of a flat-iron, or any chemical straightening methods. You can probably get away with a flat-iron on rare occasions, but don't count on it, and if you really want your hair to be in good shape, it's best to avoid them altogether.

vickinight
January 3rd, 2014, 01:03 AM
As others have pointed out too, "Hair Don't's" really depend on your hair type -- and specifically, I think, is its resilience and/or how fast it grows to "replace" any damaged length that absolutely needs to be trimmed! To add to that, I think it also depends on what one personally finds "acceptable" -- that is, what condition you are OK with your hair being. Some are more open to processes such as box dying, chemical straightening or relaxing, etc., and can still get lots of length with it while others would consider it taboo.

But I do so think that this is a great idea for a list, moniquerenaud :D! I've learned so much from this forum and it's from things like these :toast:.

Some more broadly-applicable "DON'T'S" might include:

- Don't cut your hair with poor-quality (dull, blunt) scissors.

Scissors, or "shears," made specifically for hair-cutting (or very, very, very sharp scissors) ensure that when trimming hair no more damage is made while trying to do away with the damage such as split ends. Bad scissors will only create more damage.

- Don't leave split ends.

It's generally accepted that to trim them is best but I know there is also some contest to this.

- Don't use poor-quality brushes or combs that are capable of scratching up or scuffing your hair surface.

In all the years before I took notice to the state of my hair, I never noticed but so many of the bristles on hair brushes and combs have EXTREMELY sharp and scratchy bristles and teeth! For example, a new plastic wide-toothed comb I had bought one time had imperfectly cut plastic where each tooth would have scratchy bits of plastic along its length.

- Don't use poor-quality or damaging hair ties, clips, bands, etc.

Same as above for some accessories. Then there are the metal bits that hair can snag on. Or the jaw clips with loose springs wherein hair strands may get caught, etc. I actually used scrunchies a lot when my hair was long!

- Don't pull so hard when brushing or putting up hair, nor braid hair too tightly.

This also guards against hair loss through traction alopecia (scary stuff!).


Happy New Year and Happy Growing, all!

hanne jensen
January 3rd, 2014, 05:55 AM
Don't use elastics every day. They will cause pressure damage.

Don't wear your hair down every day. Your hair will be abraided eventually.

Don't use hairsprays or setting gels. That stuff is gauranteed to trash your hair.

Madora
January 3rd, 2014, 08:29 AM
Don't brush your hair before detangling it first with a wide tooth comb. If you don't detangle first, when you brush, you'll run into snarls and hair breakage will ensue. Treat your hair like antique lace whenever possible.

Don't place your hair sticks or forks in the same place day after day. This is an open invitation to balding at the spot where the item is inserted day after day. Vary the places where you insert the items.

Don't scrub your hair like it was a mop. Be sure to detangle and brush it before you start your shampoo. Your drain will thank you.

Don't let your hair tools (brushes/combs) stand around for weeks w/o cleaning. Clean them every week.

Don't let hair boredom creep in. Learn new styles and be patient! Rome wasn't built in a day.

Rio040113
January 3rd, 2014, 08:49 AM
Don't do what doesn't work for you/your hair :lol: I've picked up a lot of awesome tips on here and few not so great ones too, it doesn't mean that they were bad tips per se, just bad for my hair. 'YMMV', always.

sarahthegemini
January 3rd, 2014, 09:01 AM
I don't agree with the whole 'treat your hair like antique lace' thing. Who wants hair that has to be treated like vulnerable flimsy lace? I would say just don't do anything ridiculously damaging like bleaching, heat styling, ripping a brush/comb through and over-washing.

chen bao jun
January 3rd, 2014, 09:07 AM
For curlies in general I would add:

Don't let your hair get dry. always use a leave in --and use more of it than anyone else would think you could POSSIBLY need

Many tightly curlies should never use a comb, only their fingers and only when hair is full of conditioner.

Many tightly curlies and also people with very fine hair (not necessarily the same group, though it intersects) should only wash hair when it is in in braids.

Don't wash your hair TOO often but also make sure you wash enough (not just to keep clean, but to keep moisture in the hair).

Be very careful with manipulation. A lot of people lose hair simply from touching/combing/brushing too much as well as constantly adjusting hairstyles.

Smooth fabric can really help. Satin pillowcases, soft t-shirt cotton towelling for drying, lined hats or satin caps inside wool or knitted hats and if you do wear your hair down, watch out for fabrics that it can rub off on.

Humectants can be great but don't use them in dry weather (low dewpoints)

Many people don't need all this fuss, but for some who are wondering why their hair just won't grow (which generally means that its growing but breaking off) these are things to possibly look at it.

DweamGoiL
January 3rd, 2014, 09:16 AM
Don't cut your hair every 6-8 weeks if you want it to grow long!

heidi w.
January 3rd, 2014, 09:21 AM
Oh boy. A list. hmmm.

Detangle ONLY with a wide toothed comb or extra wide wide tooth comb.
Use a detangler agent when you need to.
Oil length from the earlobes on down, not the scalp hair. It can cause problems to the scalp skin if the scalp is oiled or conditioned.
Condition from the earlobes on down.
Clarify as needed only.
Do not wash hair with baking soda to replace shampoo. This is extremely drying to the hair.
Do not color the hair as it dries the hair out.
Do not straighten the hair. This causes white dots and hair can literally break off if it's done too often.
Use a cooler setting when blowing dry the hair. You don't need all that heat.

I'm sure I can think of more.
heidi w.

DweamGoiL
January 3rd, 2014, 09:29 AM
Don't use elastics every day. They will cause pressure damage.

Don't wear your hair down every day. Your hair will be abraided eventually.

Don't use hairsprays or setting gels. That stuff is gauranteed to trash your hair.

I agree about very tight non-coated elastics, but I wear my hair down every day except when it is near wash day and then I bun it. I am nearly at WL and have fine hair. I would say it is more important to protect hair from the elements, such as excessive cold, wind, sun and watch out for jewelry or clothing and accessories that hair can get caught on and break.

I also use hairspray, but the spray I use is non-alcoholic and I take my time detangling my hair at night. By the end of the day, the hairspray is no longer stiff. I would say that the use of stiffening styling agents containing high amounts of drying agents or attempting to roughly rake through the hair while it is still heavily coated are the real culprits not the use of hairsprays or gels. There are plenty of products which are hair friendly, but your handling has to be hair friendly, too.

Kaelee
January 3rd, 2014, 10:18 AM
Don't do what doesn't work for you/your hair :lol: I've picked up a lot of awesome tips on here and few not so great ones too, it doesn't mean that they were bad tips per se, just bad for my hair. 'YMMV', always.

Best advice so far in this thread. :lol:

My list is:

Don't heat style (I don't even own a blowdryer).
No ammonia/peroxide dyes/bleach (so henna, manic panic, pravana is OK)
No hairspray/mousse/gel/"grippy" styling products
No ball tipped brush (though I frequently detangle when wet, out of necessity)
No elastics with the metal part!!! (why do they still make them when there are so many better options available!)
No dull scissors! (learned the hard way)

YamaMaya
January 3rd, 2014, 10:33 AM
The only really things I would say are big don'ts are flat ironing because of the obvious damage, and things which cause large amounts of damage to your hair such as backcombing, detangling from the top down, ripping through tangles, stuff like that.

patienceneeded
January 3rd, 2014, 10:35 AM
The problem with a list of "don'ts" is that you will not find a list that everyone can agree on. For some, cones and sulfates are a DON'T! Others can't live without them.

As someone else mentioned (sorry, forgot who), maybe a list of "Best Practices." Stuff that works well in general, but take all advice and "bests" with a grain of salt. Haircare is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. Different hair, different scalp, different DO's and DON'TS.

Anje
January 3rd, 2014, 10:46 AM
Let's see... universal don'ts are hard.

Don't wear your hair loose when working around flames.
Don't freeze your wet hair into icicles, then start snapping them.
Don't peel your split ends apart to see how high up you can get it to go.
Don't comb your hair as fast as possible, ignoring the snapping sounds and yanking.
Don't tighten ponytails by grabbing two handfuls and pulling them toward your face.

jeanniet
January 3rd, 2014, 10:51 AM
Don't wear your hair loose when working around flames.

I think this one definitely applies to everyone!

Applegirl84
January 3rd, 2014, 10:58 AM
Don't tighten ponytails by grabbing two handfuls and pulling them toward your face.

This should be so obvious, but I did it for YEARS! Even now I'm afraid to wear ponytails because sometimes I'll tighten them without thinking. Ugh. French braiding is now my new lazy style (though I admit to playing with the tassle a lot)

Kaelee
January 3rd, 2014, 11:01 AM
Let's see... universal don'ts are hard.

Don't wear your hair loose when working around flames.
Don't freeze your wet hair into icicles, then start snapping them.
Don't peel your split ends apart to see how high up you can get it to go.
Don't comb your hair as fast as possible, ignoring the snapping sounds and yanking.
Don't tighten ponytails by grabbing two handfuls and pulling them toward your face.

Oh, now we're just being silly. :p (though I know there have got to be people out there who do both of those things!)

Anje
January 3rd, 2014, 11:05 AM
Oh, now we're just being silly. :p (though I know there have got to be people out there who do both of those things!)
Oh, I did the icicles, fast combing, and ponytail tightening many times. Only the ponytail tightening lasted once I realized that I wanted not-destroyed hair (I'm a bit of a tomboy), which lasted until I realized I had a huge broken chunk from the constant wearing and tightening of a permapony.

ETA: It's worth mentioning that it's about 4F out at the moment (the locals might be dying to hear them), so freezing things is ranking quite high mentally right now.

Mizumi
January 3rd, 2014, 12:09 PM
Many tightly curlies and also people with very fine hair (not necessarily the same group, though it intersects) should only wash hair when it is in in braids.


:confused: Can you explain why?

LaFlor
January 3rd, 2014, 12:32 PM
Don't let hair boredom creep in. Learn new styles and be patient! Rome wasn't built in a day.

Boredom is the number one don't for me!

hairpleasegrow
January 3rd, 2014, 12:41 PM
What a great thread moniquerenaud. So helpful. Great advice Madora. I have serious hair envy of all of you!!!! I am a 2b, fine, shoulder length hair. Like moniquerenaud I can't seem to get it past a certain length to achieve my goal length and I am trying to figure out what I am doing wrong also.

In addition to moniquerenaud's question, how would other posters recommend to have hair styled for least damage during the day? And at night? For example would you recommend a braid at night or a pony tail , or just loose? Does sleeping on a satin pillowcase make a difference like I've read before? And daytime.... is it really damaging to wear it down all the time? Any daytime or nighttime style tips greatly appreciated.

I am considering a french braid at all times. I just had a baby so I've gone through a major shed and I have fringe from the breakage, I really notice a lack of hair right at the front so I prefer styles that don't pull too much. I find I need to wear my hair back because my 7 month old constantly pulls on my hair when it's down (he's pulled out chunks before! horrifying!!lol) anyways any advice would be welcome, moniquerenaud i hope you don't mind I've asked this on your thread.

sumidha
January 3rd, 2014, 12:51 PM
I'm pretty sure this hasn't been mentioned yet, and it's pretty obvious but people do miss it.... Don't cut your hair! If you feel the need to trim every month to maintain super-fresh ends, take off the tiniest bit possible, otherwise you are literally trimming away your growth!

This especially applies to people like me with super slow growing hair. >.<

ExpectoPatronum
January 3rd, 2014, 01:14 PM
The one that's been the biggest for me is 'Don't do what works for everyone if it's not working for you.'

For a while I had cut silicones out because a lot of people don't like to use them, however for me, they're the only way I can get my hair to feel soft. I spent a long time trying to find the right combination of oils to try and duplicate the results I got from cones. In reality, with low-porosity hair, the oils just sat there looking greasy where cones coat my hair so nicely. I also wash my hair very frequently. I tried for years to stretch it out because that's what "everyone does" and yeah...another no-no for me. Hair care is 100% about what you and your hair likes and 0% what someone else's hair likes.

cranberrymoonz
January 3rd, 2014, 01:26 PM
Let's see... universal don'ts are hard.

Don't wear your hair loose when working around flames.
Don't freeze your wet hair into icicles, then start snapping them.
Don't peel your split ends apart to see how high up you can get it to go.
Don't comb your hair as fast as possible, ignoring the snapping sounds and yanking.
Don't tighten ponytails by grabbing two handfuls and pulling them toward your face.

LOL!! Those are definetely universal.

Don't use dish soap for washing hair. Or extremly harsh shampoos with sodium lauryl sulfate. Exept for incidental clarifying, possibly, or trying to fade henna.
Some people may need to wash their hair every day, but washing twice or more is general bad practice.
Don't go swimming in chlorine water a few times a week without wearing a swim cap.
When improving your routine, don't try everything at once. You won't know what's working and what's not.

PrincessIdril
January 3rd, 2014, 01:27 PM
Don't be afraid to go against conventional wisdom if what you are currently doing works for you. E.g curlies don't feel pressured into going CO especially if you have a touchy scalp. Or don't cut out cones/sulphates/whatever if you like them.

Don't feel that you have to try every single method/treatment suggested. Haircare isn't a list on which you have to check every box, it is OK to say no to trying out a BBB or cones or tea rinses or buns etc.

chen bao jun
January 3rd, 2014, 01:33 PM
Tightly curlies and people with very fine generally have very 'breakable' hair. curls have a stress point at each bend and fine--well, that's self evident. Washing hair while it is braided protects the hair, minimizes tangles (which are hard to get out without breaking fragile hair types) and can really help in the quest for length. I fought this idea and wouldn't do it for a long time but now that I've given in, my retention is MUCH better.
What I do is braid hair while full of conditioning treatment (often an SMT) let it sit for a while (perhaps under heat) wash my scalp with the braids still in and then GENTLY unbraid each plait one at a time(I make two or three) and rinse carefully, then rebraid before undoing the next one. Voila, no tangles and clean, unbroken hair.
Some of us HAVE to treat our hair like antique lace. I can get to APL with damaging practices, but no further.

:confused: Can you explain why?

cranberrymoonz
January 3rd, 2014, 01:42 PM
how would other posters recommend to have hair styled for least damage during the day? And at night? For example would you recommend a braid at night or a pony tail , or just loose? Does sleeping on a satin pillowcase make a difference like I've read before? And daytime.... is it really damaging to wear it down all the time? I am considering a french braid at all times.

I would recommend to have a few styles at hand so you can rotate through them. As mentioned before wearing the same style over and over may cause pressure and balding where it is fixed to your head. That kind of damage is minimal with braids, but they do have the ends exposed. All kinds of braids and buns (held with hairsticks/forks) are great. Look for some super-soft elastics for the ends of your braids. At night you can wear single or double braids, or a high bun held with a srunchie or a big soft elastic.

Having your hair up prevents tangles and therefore damage from detangling, and mechanical damage from rubbing against you back etc. If your hair is prone to tangles, it's definetely best to wear it up a lot. Otherwise it is also general good practise as long as you don't damage your hair while styling it.

Silk pillowcases don't absorb oils like cotton does, therefore they should retain moisture in hair and skin better. In addition, silk satin is smooth and doesn't rub on the hair or make it tangle. I still have to try it out but I definetely will!

EDIT: Styles that include all of your hair are most protective. Common sense applies: If the style doesn't yank at your hair, if the hairtoy is nice and soft/smooth, it's probably OK

jeanniet
January 3rd, 2014, 03:50 PM
Oh, now we're just being silly. :p (though I know there have got to be people out there who do both of those things!)

When I was in high school, a friend told me the way to deal with splits was to pull them apart, so... :p

moniquerenaud
January 3rd, 2014, 10:37 PM
Hmm, thats true it may be hard to think of hair don'ts that apply to everyone! I just feel like im doing something wrong :( Im starting to think its my brushing, how often I wear it down, and my pillowcase. Also I've learned not to think that since something works for someone else doesn't mean it'll work for me-aka silicones. A lot of your answers are helpful thank you!

Naiadryade
January 3rd, 2014, 11:48 PM
Let's see... universal don'ts are hard.

Don't wear your hair loose when working around flames.
Don't freeze your wet hair into icicles, then start snapping them.
Don't peel your split ends apart to see how high up you can get it to go.
Don't comb your hair as fast as possible, ignoring the snapping sounds and yanking.
Don't tighten ponytails by grabbing two handfuls and pulling them toward your face.

Ha! This is by far my favorite post in this thread. These are definitely universal don'ts! I'll add...

Don't chew on your hair.
Don't let babies chew on or grab your hair.
Don't trap your hair between your back and your chair and rub around.
Similarly, don't scratch your back on a tree with your hair caught in between.
Don't attempt to use your hair as dental floss. (I actually tried to do this a lot as a kid. It never worked--the hair always broke.)
Don't wear your hair loose when working with automated machinery with lots of moving parts.
Don't deal with splits by just breaking the hair off above them.

And, yes...
Don't wear your hair in the same style every day.
Don't cut your hair with anything other than sharp, dedicated hair-only shears.
Don't rush when detangling or rip through tangles.



:scissors:
What I do is braid hair while full of conditioning treatment (often an SMT) let it sit for a while (perhaps under heat) wash my scalp with the braids still in and then GENTLY unbraid each plait one at a time(I make two or three) and rinse carefully, then rebraid before undoing the next one. Voila, no tangles and clean, unbroken hair.
Some of us HAVE to treat our hair like antique lace. I can get to APL with damaging practices, but no further.

I'm curious about this method. I don't have very fine or curly hair, but for whatever reason I do have quite breakable hair. How do you work in conditioning after shampooing?

askan
January 3rd, 2014, 11:58 PM
For my hair, quite silly but speaking from personal experience:

Don't cut your own hair if you're not sober, thinking that THIS time you might look good with bangs. At least give it up after the third try.
Don't bleach four times in one day if you want to grow your hair long.
Don't do forward (or backward) rolls if you're wearing a plastic jaw clip or something else that is breakable.

It might be only me but I've destroyed too many clips this way, and it hurt!

HappyHair87
January 4th, 2014, 12:32 AM
Don't use elastics every day. They will cause pressure damage.

Don't wear your hair down every day. Your hair will be abraided eventually.

Don't use hairsprays or setting gels. That stuff is gauranteed to trash your hair.

But...my curls NEEEEED gel!!:( lol This prevents tangles for me. As long as it does not contain alcohol.

And yes...i can only brush my hair when wet to detangle.

My don'ts...hmmmm...

Never use heat without a heat protectant
Zap ppl who find joy in randomly "boinging" your curls!:p

BlueMajorelle
January 4th, 2014, 12:53 AM
Don't deprive your body of nutrients. Hair is essentially dead cells, you can't have long and beautiful hair if your body is incapable of producing it. Eat healthy foods (especially foods like nuts, salmon, green leafy things, citrus fruits, etc that contain hair-building vitamins and minerals) and drink enough water.

lapushka
January 4th, 2014, 03:03 AM
I really hate how these lists come together. There might be general rules out there for a few things, but for others, it depends on the texture. I recently discovered in another thread that detangling with a fine-toothed comb is just fine when you're a 1. And when you're a 3, it's okay to brush the hair wet. So some things don't apply to all of us.

jacqueline101
January 4th, 2014, 06:10 AM
Tightly curlies and people with very fine generally have very 'breakable' hair. curls have a stress point at each bend and fine--well, that's self evident. Washing hair while it is braided protects the hair, minimizes tangles (which are hard to get out without breaking fragile hair types) and can really help in the quest for length. I fought this idea and wouldn't do it for a long time but now that I've given in, my retention is MUCH better.
What I do is braid hair while full of conditioning treatment (often an SMT) let it sit for a while (perhaps under heat) wash my scalp with the braids still in and then GENTLY unbraid each plait one at a time(I make two or three) and rinse carefully, then rebraid before undoing the next one. Voila, no tangles and clean, unbroken hair.
Some of us HAVE to treat our hair like antique lace. I can get to APL with damaging practices, but no further.

I've tried this as my blog braid challenge. You forgot one part the conditioner is hard to get out of the woven braid strands. I had to give up the wash braid because of soap residue. I do wear braids all the time.

Mizumi
January 4th, 2014, 06:23 AM
Tightly curlies and people with very fine generally have very 'breakable' hair. curls have a stress point at each bend and fine--well, that's self evident. Washing hair while it is braided protects the hair, minimizes tangles (which are hard to get out without breaking fragile hair types) and can really help in the quest for length. I fought this idea and wouldn't do it for a long time but now that I've given in, my retention is MUCH better.
What I do is braid hair while full of conditioning treatment (often an SMT) let it sit for a while (perhaps under heat) wash my scalp with the braids still in and then GENTLY unbraid each plait one at a time(I make two or three) and rinse carefully, then rebraid before undoing the next one. Voila, no tangles and clean, unbroken hair.
Some of us HAVE to treat our hair like antique lace. I can get to APL with damaging practices, but no further.

:o I'll try this..

Anyway, I may add something to thread:

-Don't sleep with hair down without any protection

-Don't wash hair that is still clean, it will dry it out..

-Don't bleach damaged/very fragile hair.. It may turn hair to straw

-Don't pull or rip tangles

-Don't use products on ends with alcohol

-Don't straighten hair regularly

hairpleasegrow
January 4th, 2014, 07:59 AM
Thank you cranberrymoonz for the great advice.

i have a don't to add to the list....someone may have already said it but don't listen to hairdressers and listen to yourself. if you do end up in a hairdressers chair DONT back down from asking for what you want and cave to their ideas and what is most convenient for them
DO hide the scissors!!!

truepeacenik
January 4th, 2014, 08:32 AM
Don't deprive your body of nutrients. Hair is essentially dead cells, you can't have long and beautiful hair if your body is incapable of producing it. Eat healthy foods (especially foods like nuts, salmon, green leafy things, citrus fruits, etc that contain hair-building vitamins and minerals) and drink enough water.

This. A thousand times this.
Without nutrition and exercise, hair is less than optimal at emergence.

And on flames and freezing, I add that some hair will always escape around flames. Be prepared to move quickly.
When walking to work with damp hair, wear a couple hats and tuck that chilly braid into your coat to slow the freezing process.
When you arrive to work, resist the strong temptation to hammer the frozen braids on your desk.
In my case, a coworker took a photo and posted it to the newspaper's web site.
So, when I was out and about reporting for my community, the metro district people were teasing me about it.


Never be dogmatic. Experiment with your brain engaged.
Never use the exact style over and over. If you twist your bun in the same direction day in, day out, year in, year out, it acts like a perma pony. Twist the opposite way and use a different anchoring point from time to time.

Never cut your hair when angry.

neko_kawaii
January 4th, 2014, 08:50 AM
Don't hate your hair. Learn to accept it or change what you can't accept.

Chiquita Banana
January 4th, 2014, 09:10 AM
Don't hate your hair. Learn to accept it or change what you can't accept.

Yes!! That is a really good one and so important.

LauraLongLocks
January 4th, 2014, 10:02 AM
Great thread. I've been impressed with some of the well-thought-out "don'ts" that have been listed, and those that have reminded us that everyone's list of don'ts will be different.

For me, learning to love my hair, straight and fine, in all it's glory, has been big. As for actual management, my list includes:

1. Don't allow it to get tangled. Tangles are so much easier to prevent than to undo. This means wearing it up most of the time, being careful how I handle it when in the shower/washing it, wearing a sleep cap to bed, and using cones and oils to help it slip.
2. Don't brush when wet, except I've found that the Tangle Teezer is pretty gentle and works well. And don't rip through tangles. I didn't realize I was breaking my hair off when I did that. Now I am much more careful.
3. Don't cut in layers! The hairstylist is WRONG about layers making my hair look fuller and more voluminous. It only works that way if I curl my hair every day, which I don't. Since I wear my hair up most of the time, layers are only braid shredders. With my hair type and volume, the only thing that helps it look fuller, is having as much of it as possible. Less doesn't equal the appearance of more. Duh...
4. Don't listen to the hairstylist telling me to come in every 6 weeks for a trim. I compromised and decided to come in every 12-16 weeks, and it grew (except the one time a stylist started trimming up my layers before I had the chance to say no, ugh!). Stay away from scissors is a much better policy. I've been getting a lot more discerning about when a trim is really necessary since joining LHC. I'm going no trims for 2014, but I'm taking very good care of my ends so that they won't look ratty by the time the year is up.
5. Don't wear the same style every day. I have decided to rotate through buns (and I twist mine the same direction every time... it's just the way my hands work, I suppose), ponytail-start styles, and braided styles so that I'm not doing the same thing to my hair every day. The variety really helps me avoid hair boredom, too.
6. Don't bite your split ends off or clip them with a pair of nail clippers. Better to ignore that split and just get it at your next S&D session with a good pair of scissors than to cause further damage by using improper tools. (Yes, I used to do both of these things when I was younger!)

That's about all I can think of at the moment.

Andeee
January 4th, 2014, 10:14 AM
Great thread. I've been impressed with some of the well-
2. Don't brush when wet, except I've found that the Tangle Teezer is pretty gentle and works well.

Quick off-topic question: are you (or anyone) brushing with a Tangle Teezer on wet hair?

diddiedaisy
January 4th, 2014, 10:40 AM
lol I thought it was a joke snapping icicle hair off. That's some cold weather some of you have got!!!

LauraLongLocks
January 4th, 2014, 11:31 AM
Quick off-topic question: are you (or anyone) brushing with a Tangle Teezer on wet hair?

Yes. I don't think it's doing any harm so far.

Neptune
January 4th, 2014, 11:52 AM
Don't brush your hair before detangling it first with a wide tooth comb. If you don't detangle first, when you brush, you'll run into snarls and hair breakage will ensue. Treat your hair like antique lace whenever possible.

Don't place your hair sticks or forks in the same place day after day. This is an open invitation to balding at the spot where the item is inserted day after day. Vary the places where you insert the items.

Don't scrub your hair like it was a mop. Be sure to detangle and brush it before you start your shampoo. Your drain will thank you.

Don't let your hair tools (brushes/combs) stand around for weeks w/o cleaning. Clean them every week.

Don't let hair boredom creep in. Learn new styles and be patient! Rome wasn't built in a day.

Thanks for your tips Madora! I'm definitely going to start detangling first with my wide tooth comb before brushing :) Never thought about it, but I'm sure that you're right!!

Neptune
January 4th, 2014, 12:27 PM
Tightly curlies and people with very fine generally have very 'breakable' hair. curls have a stress point at each bend and fine--well, that's self evident. Washing hair while it is braided protects the hair, minimizes tangles (which are hard to get out without breaking fragile hair types) and can really help in the quest for length. I fought this idea and wouldn't do it for a long time but now that I've given in, my retention is MUCH better.
What I do is braid hair while full of conditioning treatment (often an SMT) let it sit for a while (perhaps under heat) wash my scalp with the braids still in and then GENTLY unbraid each plait one at a time(I make two or three) and rinse carefully, then rebraid before undoing the next one. Voila, no tangles and clean, unbroken hair.
Some of us HAVE to treat our hair like antique lace. I can get to APL with damaging practices, but no further.

Interesting idea! My hair is very fine as well... I'm going to try this!

tigereye
January 4th, 2014, 01:49 PM
My hair froze once. It was freshly washed, got attached to the metal of the bus shelter on a morning well below freezing. I didn't break them off though - they detached easily enough so I got on the bus and sat in the hot air of the upper-floor heater til it defrosted.
I actually have to detangle while wet - I use a tangle-teezer because a wide tooth comb is just asking for serious breakage. I have to because I put it up, often to prevent things like the gale-force winds off the sea, or the aforementioned freezing. Washing the night before isn't really an option either, because a) my hair is usually still really wet by morning and, b) it gets horrendously tangled if I sleep with it wet, in any style, or loose.

LauraLongLocks
January 4th, 2014, 03:16 PM
Washing the night before isn't really an option either, because a) my hair is usually still really wet by morning and, b) it gets horrendously tangled if I sleep with it wet, in any style, or loose.

Mine is that way, too. It won't dry overnight unless I keep it loose, and if I keep it loose, I wake up to a matted mess. I have to turn over to feed my baby several times a night. When my hair has been loose, I have become entangled in it, and so has my baby, so it's just best to keep it contained at night.

Snoofie
January 4th, 2014, 04:22 PM
Generally speaking though, I personally would consider bleaching, chemical dyeing, straightening, hot setting blow drying, hairspray, heat curling and Brazilian blow outs to all be damaging.

And here's another of those instances you were talking about: I always, always, *always* blow dry. On hot setting. Because if I don't blow dry, my hair is just as flat as hell, and if I use the cool setting, it takes for-friggin-EVER for it to dry. Yet my hair is perfectly healthy (or at least it's healthy-*looking* enough for everyone to rave over how shiny and healthy it is.) :)

Having said that: I wouldn't use a straightener if my life depended on it.

lapushka
January 4th, 2014, 04:59 PM
And here's another of those instances you were talking about: I always, always, *always* blow dry. On hot setting. Because if I don't blow dry, my hair is just as flat as hell, and if I use the cool setting, it takes for-friggin-EVER for it to dry. Yet my hair is perfectly healthy (or at least it's healthy-*looking* enough for everyone to rave over how shiny and healthy it is.) :)

Having said that: I wouldn't use a straightener if my life depended on it.

I too am one of those people who doesn't see any harm from using a blow dryer. I do prefer it on a warm setting though, but not hot (if you hold your hand in the airstream and it doesn't burn, it's fine). I think the true damage comes from (flat) & (curling) irons.

WoolSweater
January 4th, 2014, 05:15 PM
Biggest hair don't, to me, is don't go to a hair stylist you don't know. If you're switching to a new place or a new stylist, meet with them beforehand and tell them what you do/don't do in regards to haircare. It's much easier to get things out of the way beforehand. Also, bring your own brushes and products to the salon. I've never had a hair stylist who didn't mind using my own products.

Other don'ts would be a flatiron, curling iron, boar bristle brush when wet, and wearing your hair in a ponytail every single day.

chen bao jun
January 4th, 2014, 06:27 PM
derail]


I'm curious about this method. I don't have very fine or curly hair, but for whatever reason I do have quite breakable hair. How do you work in conditioning after shampooing?[/derail]
Just gently take out braids one by one and apply conditioner as usual. Being a curly for me its leave in conditioner--and then I put just a little of some oil on top to seal the moisture from the conditioner in.

kidari
January 4th, 2014, 06:40 PM
I agree that the list can vary from person to person, not just due to texture but body chemistry and other factors as well. I think that the key is to tread slowly and experiment wisely until you've got the routine and products down that works best for you while packing the most benefits with the least amount of money and effort. With that said, I think that the biggest don't coming from experience is DO NOT too too much to your hair period. Less is more. This can include everything from coloring it too much, over styling, doing too many treatments, washing too much, brushing too much, overconditioning, you name it. Relax and do things to it wisely.

ravenreed
January 4th, 2014, 06:47 PM
I never used to use my blow dryer more than a few times a year. I stopped buying them back in the late 80's and didn't pick one up again until a few years back. Because I started using Elumen dyes, I spend at least 30 minutes a dyeing session with a bonnet attachment on my head to heat set the dyes. The temp varies between hot and warm. Since I dye every 4 - 6 weeks, that is quite a bit of use for me. My hair is growing like a weed and my ends are fine. I don't know that I would use one every day because I get insane frizz when I blow dry, which is why I stopped using them originally. However, I don't see that occasional use is that bad. Like most things, I suspect moderation is key.

As for my don't: Don't try repeatedly to make something work that just doesn't. I have tried quite a few wide toothed combs. I have bone, horn, wood, my hair hates them all. I went through several BBB's before I gave up and realized that they were doing more harm than good. Your hair will tell you what it likes. Listen to it, not to all the supposed experts out there. They are experts in what works for them, not what works for you. Be your own hair expert.

swearnsue
January 4th, 2014, 06:56 PM
I've got a great DON'T that I learned the hard way.

Do not overdose on supplements, especially selenium! I did and my hair shed like crazy!

tigereye
January 5th, 2014, 04:00 AM
I've got a great DON'T that I learned the hard way.

Do not overdose on supplements, especially selenium! I did and my hair shed like crazy!

Definitely don't overdose on supplements. Don't overdose on anything. It's bad for your body and hair.
For example, consistently taking antioxidants at higher than the RDA has been definitively linked by a number of MASSIVE (thousands upon thousands of people) studies to be significantly cancer causing. Many other supplements have adverse effects at high levels. Be kind to your body - if your bodily health goes down, so, likely, will hair growth.
That and vitamins specifically are now thought by many leading scientists to be useless for anyone who isn't growing, pregnant or breast feeding, or has a deficiency.

NoRush
January 5th, 2014, 07:59 AM
My don'ts are the usual suspects, heat styling tools, elastics with metal bits, brushing wet (straightie here) combs, my hair hates them, it snarls on them and tangles where it never tangles usually, I've tried plastic, wood, wide tooth, extra wide, with handle, without... not for me.

I blowdry on warm all the time I don't see damage coming from it. I use a regular paddle brush on dry hair I detangle with fingers.

Also, a kind of no no for me is biotin, because hair grows more ALL OVER, as it is supposed to, but since I'm rather well insulated naturally it just doesn't work for me at all and it breaks me out, so for me the length gain is not worth it.