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ErinLeigh
December 31st, 2013, 01:55 PM
In taking a little break from here but wanted to wish everyone a happy new year.
I may lurk once in a while. I'm just to depressed to think about my hair. I worked so hard to get it healthy. Had a color I loved. And once a again its all messed up. I cannot understand why it is so difficult to get consistent results. I asked for highlights in my bangs. Nothing beyond ear as far as placement. Just a few foils.
What did I get?
So many highlights my hair is apricot. Matches my black eyebrows well. Sarcasm.
My once soft and smooth hair is tangly dry and messed up. I can already tell its gonna split.

I like my hair dark blond with a few blond pieces. I shouldn't have to give that up and be unhappy. Yet I shouldn't have to constantly get the opposite of what I ask for. I don't don't if its a hair curse but no one can get it right consistently. I will get perfection one cut. And a disaster the next. Same with color.

I dont Want natural hair but I do want root only applications with four foils added to the shorter bang area. My throw away hair. Is that really so difficult?

I know now bleach isn't supported so I know I will get the "what did you expect" but I just can't deal with that right now.

Very down and out.
I don't know if I'm just more hyper aware of damage or what but this experience was so bad.
I felt the bleach was left on way to long. My scalp felt like it was almost burning. Did that happen before and I didn't notice?
When blow drying I was in pain. The heat was so high and it felt like it would never stop. Was it always like that and I'm just used to drying on cool?
I don't know what it is but this was such an u pleasant experience. I'm just going to grow out the color. Stop highlighting and so root only touchups with no highlights ever. I'm tired if being someone's experiment. If I can't get it done right I simply don't want it anymore.

I need to go look at my hair. I can't decide what is damage is what is just my hysteria. I'm so used to a smooth texture and tangle free hair. I need to see if the damage is as bad as in my head or if it is going to be ok. :(

sarahthegemini
December 31st, 2013, 02:02 PM
I hope you feel better, I know how it feels to not get consistent results and feel like whatever you do, something isn't going to be right.

bunnylake
December 31st, 2013, 02:07 PM
When you feel ready, go on a quest to find a great colorist. Read reviews, ask around. When you find one you think can give you what you want, being them pictures of the color/highlights you want so they understand clearly. Be honest about your past experience. If you like the one you find, stick to them.
Maybe try doing a deep treatment like SMT? That always makes me feel better when I'm in a rut over my hair. That and a trim. :)

blue_eyes
December 31st, 2013, 02:11 PM
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling that way :( I've been there. I wanted to be blonde too and I ended up having the majority of my hair break in half...and it takes such a long time to recover/grow back. When I was dyeing my hair dark it was sometimes perfect, and the next it was patchy. It's so frustrating to be unhappy with your hair. It should not be this hard.

I really hope things improve <3

swearnsue
December 31st, 2013, 02:11 PM
You have every right to have blonde highlights done properly! You should have the hair you want. Sounds like the hairdresser didn't do it right and certainly didn't follow your request.

I used to highlight my own hair and it looked pretty good too if I so say myself. And it's a heck of a lot cheaper! Just something to think about for the future. I would highlight so few hairs that even if they fried and fell out (which they never did) I wouldn't mind.

long&blonde
December 31st, 2013, 03:02 PM
I dyed my hair on my own, age 15 to 54. Single process drugstore dyes.
54-59,somehow a salon kidnapped me,tinting my now white,roots dark blonde.
What'll help you-wash your hair in conditioner only-a thick one you'd normally use as leave on deep treatment. Do a SMt or two.

Then my saving grace was always Nice & Easy from drugstore-in shade Lightest Golden Brown. If your hairs long-buy 2 boxs-I always use two. Lightest golden brown is a dark blonde,light caramel brown shade.
I'd dye my hair all over that-wait a few weeks-And try again.
i second doing it yourself.

breezefaerie
December 31st, 2013, 03:08 PM
Ouch. You most certainly deserve to have exactly what you ask for in a salon whether that be foils on your bangs or a blue mohawk.
Baby your hair and scalp for a while before doing any more chemical processing to minimize the damage. :grouphug:

spidermom
December 31st, 2013, 03:10 PM
So sorry that happened to you. Some stylists have to be watched closely to be sure they're doing exactly what you ask.

heidi w.
December 31st, 2013, 03:33 PM
I'm sorry you met up with a bad hairstylist. Color is not every stylists game. Many don't understand the chemistry they're doing. So it's best to seek the counsel of a licensed colorist, who will not cut your hair whatsoever. They simply ONLY do color. That's it. I hope you feel better a little bit, it's likely not as bad as you think it is.
heidi w.

monsoonstorm
December 31st, 2013, 03:34 PM
I have to admit, I coloured for years as I started going grey very early. Now that I've switched to henna I am finally happy (for now) to be rid of the whole process. Each trip to the hairdresser was stressful. Ask for root touchups only for them to start "pulling the colour through" then when you protest they inform you that they have to or it won't match, and continue to carry on even whilst you are protesting... the incredulous looks when I told them I didn't want it dried, or only to use cold air etc.

I think the only way to be happy (or at least content with the outcome) is to take it in to your own hands. It won't always be perfect, but somehow you feel more at peace when there's only you to blame and it's been an informed decision you made yourself. I decided to cut some layering into the front of my hair last night. I completely regret it, but it's ok, because I was in charge of the process. It's somewhat annoying, but it will grow again and now I know for the future.

Don't dismiss lhc saying that people will say "it's bleach, what do you expect!" I've never found that, I think that, for the most part, this is the most unjudgemental forum I've ever been a part of. The majority of people here give you the information you need to make an informed decision, including alternatives if there are any. Many people on here have bangs which they damage on a regular basis, because they know they won't be growing it long and so it doesn't need to be held to the same high standards as the rest of their hair. The damage will be cut off before it becomes a huge issue

So, options!
1) find a good colourist. Depending on where you live, could be difficult and time consuming
2) drug store options, do it yourself.
3) "natural" lightening options including lemon juice, honey and all of that jazz, perhaps sun in if you live somewhere without perpetual cloud cover like me!

I personally would go with 2 & 3, I've lived in one of the largest cities in the world and failed in my quest to find a hairdresser who will actually listen. It needs a lot of trial and error, and in turn, cost.

One other thing, I have noticed a lot of posts from you recently asking for lots of advice on different things, is it to try and fix the damage done? My suggestion is to slow down, don't try to change too much too fast, give your hair time to adapt. Take a step back. What's done is done, it can't really be changed, but what you can do is make small steps towards what will make you feel better. Too much too fast will lead to frustration and disappointment.

I'm a mere 8 months in to growing out my salon colour. I have a long way to go. The bottom of my hair is a frazzled mess after one (far?) too many pullthroughs that I wasn't assertive enough to stop. Every so often I will take a bit off and it will make me happier knowing that I'm one step closer to being rid of the hairdresser's project hair. In the meantime I "tame" the bits I don't like with oil and put them up in a bun, or in a braid.

Take back control!

bunnylake
December 31st, 2013, 03:39 PM
Yes, about bleach being evil... It's only evil if you abuse it. I used to bleach and dye my hair every color of the rainbow, and it only turned to straw because I didn't know what I was doing and might as well have put my head in a microwave every day. (Aside from the bleach, I was also straightening with heat EVERY. DAY. !!!)
You can totally have smooth, shiny, happy bleached hair if you take care of it. :)

Liz_park
December 31st, 2013, 04:57 PM
I've seen some if your previous posts and you seem like a very smart lady. I bet you could learn the science behind colour yourself and do your own highlights and colour!

I colour my own hair and I order professional colour off the Internet. I use redken eq shades to tone my blonde hair. I lighten on my own terms and with colour I've researched. I self trim. And ever since I have started doing it myself I am so much happier and my hair is so much better.

I am sorry you feel sad. I can relate to how you are feeling. Things will get better :) could you be your own stylist from now on? It's easier than it looks :) I promise.

desuvsdeath
December 31st, 2013, 05:38 PM
I know now bleach isn't supported so I know I will get the "what did you expect" but I just can't deal with that right now.

Quite the opposite!
You have all my sympathy.
This may or may not make you feel better:
My hair was passed BSL when I bleached it all... it was beautiful. It stayed that way for three months through root touch-ups and daily styling (necessary for my job at the time)...
Then one day I was feeling lazy. Up until this point I'd done it all myself.
So I went in and had my roots touched up professionally.
Within 12 hours my hair was literally breaking off at the roots (which weren't even light enough to match my hair).
So last fall 2012 I had to shave off my hair that I'd spent 3 years growing out because half of it had broken off due to ONE trip to a "professional stylist".


My honest advice is to read read read read all about it and learn to do it yourself. IME - it's the only way to get consistent results ESPECIALLY with lightening your hair.

Tini'sNewHair
December 31st, 2013, 05:43 PM
I agree with what everyone has said so far. Sorry that happened to you. I hope you can find what works for you, because you have beautiful hair! A lot of us has gone through many trials and errors, including lots of failed hairdressers appointments. I had a horrific experience about 4-5 years ago when i tried to get lighter coloured highlights to compliment my darkish brown hair but the girl who did it, completely fried my hair, it was like wire!!! and all sorts of shades from deep caramel highlights to grey ... NO idea how she did that one! And my hair was at waist :( I had to chop to APL and colour again to brown and then i let it grow out. These days i dont colour or highlight or use any heat etc. I just cant deal with that kind of stuff. HUGS!!!

Ms. Littlefish
December 31st, 2013, 05:56 PM
Definitely would not fault you for wanting to highlight! Most of us make some compromises somewhere. You wanted some lighter bits but you also wanted an option that was less damaging, root only applications. You did not get what you wished for and you're well in your right to be upset at that.

WoolSweater
December 31st, 2013, 06:03 PM
I'm so sorry for you. I agree with everyone else; go to a colourist and a colourist only. Read reviews and if you see a woman that has a colour you love, ask her where she gets her hair styled at. Most women don't mind the question and enjoy discussing hair related things (cue this website!). In the meantime, maybe you can apply a diluted tint to your hair to get rid of some of the apricot. Hope you feel better soon, and don't go! You can stick around and be inspired. <3

HintOfMint
December 31st, 2013, 06:15 PM
I am so sorry you've been having such bad luck with your color. :grouphug: You have every right to get the color you ask for. You certainly won't get a callous "what did you expect" response from me, and not from most of LHC either.

Next time you're in for some coloring, definitely shop around for a really good colorist. Yelp is great for reviews and don't be afraid to ask someone who their colorist is.

When you're in the chair, speak up if they're hurting or burning you. You're paying for a service and it's not bratty to ask to not be in pain.

If you need to take a break from hair related stuff, do it. Happy New Year, and hope to see you around the boards soon enough.

AmyBeth
December 31st, 2013, 08:20 PM
I'm sorry that you are feeling down. I hate it when people say it's only hair, but.... Try not to let your feelings about your hair dictate the way you feel about the rest of your life.
Through my seemingly endless, aimless search for a stylist who could color my greys without turning my ash brown hair red (RED!!), I searched out "master colorists". There is a website with a search function to help you locate one in your area. Unfortunately for me, the stylists I tried could not overcome my hair's propensity to pull red out of any hair color that was applied. I gave up and turned to henna and I dye my own hair red now:rolleyes:. No offense intended to redheads. I think red is beautiful, just not for me. But I decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. My hair is reddish but it's a beautiful, healthy, shiny reddish. And I will no longer have to pay someone else for something I don't want.
There is a pretty steep learning curve in coloring your own hair, whether it's with conventional boxed dyes, or plant based dyes. But if you really apply yourself to learning and do lots of experiments on your shed hairs, you can certainly be able to do it yourself, and you'll be happy with it. Be patient and baby your hair and it will be OK. I can almost promise you that it doesn't look bad to anyone but yourself, because you are so disappointed.:grouphug:

bibijay
January 1st, 2014, 12:40 PM
I'm really sorry you had that experience. Don't be downhearted! You can get your hair looking lovely again quite quickly - I know cos I had a colour-left-on-too-long at hairdressers experience myself a month ago. After scouring this forum I found loads of tips for coaxing damaged hair back into shape, and they work! I thought I would have to get it all chopped off, but now it looks great - maybe better than before the colour damage! Tips I'd recommend for the future are trying all-natural cassia for gentle blonde colour. Your hair looks like its natural blonde anyhow? So that would work. Also Logona natural colours sound good, they do a golden blonde and various other blonde shades.
Try a coconut oil overnight treatment too - I found that really helped. Don't worry it will get better!

Wildcat Diva
January 1st, 2014, 01:20 PM
I'm sorry that happened. You will figure out what to do. Lots of coconut oil and hugs to you!

Lyv
January 1st, 2014, 01:40 PM
That's an awful thing to have happen! I'd probably want a little break to, I actually took one and contemplated leaving the forum when I cut my hair and didn't think my decision would really fit in with other LCH'ers. Maybe you could mix up some SMT and do some coconut oil soaks to help it get some moisture and recover from the bleach. I don't think you have to worry about anyone here giving a negative response I think most have had some sort of hair disaster and empathize more than anything. Have you looked around for salons that specialize in color? There are a few around where I live that I think call themselves "Master Colorists" and from what I've heard are very good. I always just did my color and bleach on my own so I didn't have someone else deciding what my hair or scalp could handle, maybe that would be something you could do? I hope you come back if you take a break :grouphug:

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 04:12 PM
Thank you all. Very much.
Still depressed. I am still having hard time looking at hair and thinking about it but really did not want to be rude by ignoring such nice people.

I went out last night. Got more compliments on my hair than ever. What can I say. South Florida much like the look of SL Bleached Blond Hair. ugh
Everytime I caught my reflection in the mirror though I was sad. When I look at all I can see is how it is going to get damaged, and how I lost all my nice dark blond base color.
I feel like a pumpkin with the contrast of my dark eyebrows.

I guess I am annoyed. My stylist is the one who cut out a lot of the damage, she had to have seen how soft and shiny and smooth It was. She knows I hate damaged looking hair, knows how hard I worked to revive it....so it begs the questions..why soooo much bleach when I said "just a few light highlights, I don"t want to damage all the hair..just a few to add some brightness around face"
I know I have to find a new stylist but hat makes it hard is every 2nd or 3rd cut/color ends up being perfect. OF course that is going to make me want to go back if the one prior was great. It's like a cycle I swear. I'm in a dysfunctional relationship with my stylist. She hurts me and I come back. She makes it all better and I am happy, then I get knocked around again and on and on it goes"

If I could, I would get some low lights to fix it but I feel that may just add damage.

I agree with all who said I should really start doing my own roots touch ups and maybe just highlight my own bangs. I have tint brush, bowls, foils, protein fillers ect.
What I don't have is patience and the ability to do it right. I would get lazy halfway thru and glob it on. But maybe I wont now, now that I know the alternative is risking getting upset with someone else.

Anyway thank you all. Hair feels ok after a honey cowash but I can tell its dryer and not as healthy. I have to do a lot of thinking about what the next step is in 6 weeks when it is time to do roots.

Ms. Littlefish
January 1st, 2014, 04:24 PM
I've always found this community here for everyone through thick and thin. Increase your moisture/oil treatments and always use a leave in. Protective up dos. When it comes time to re-color maybe give yourself extra time to decide what you want to do. I'd use the time to research your options, whether that be a new colorist or reading and watching guides to get you up to snuff to tackle doing your own highlights. Youtube is a Godsend when it comes to DIY beauty.

AmyBeth
January 1st, 2014, 04:49 PM
I so understand a dysfunctional relationship with a stylist! I worked in a salon and went from stylist to stylist just trying to get a nice ASH brown- my natural color, that's all I wanted. A little awkward to go to a new stylist outside of the salon I worked in, but I decided to try a friend who also did hair. She tried 3-4 times before she got it right!! I was so happy, but the next time I went back to her, my hair turned red again:steam. That's when I did my web search for Master Colorists. I traveled up to 150 miles and gave each new stylist 3 chances to correct my color. I, like you Erin, didn't think I was asking for anything unreasonable! Ash brown, that's all. I remember trying not to look at my hair when I styled it or applied my makeup, because I wanted to cry every time I saw it. So I understand your frustration. What can you do but keep trying and make sure any stylist you go to respects your determination not to allow any untoward damage. Try to keep smiling.:)

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 05:37 PM
Oh, didn't mean to knock the forum people and say they would say what did you expect..just mean the world in general. I am scared to hear it here or in the real world. My break is just because I don't want to whine too much or think too much (ya some break Erin, 3 posts already)
I just feel horrible if I don't acknowledge kind people who respond. They took time for me so I feel that deserves respect.

Anyone I try to talk to about my feeling about my hair and just rolls their eyes and say something off the cuff so I am just trying not to say anything about hair. Trying not to think about it, look at it, touch it. It just making me deeply unhappy to keep going through this cycle of messed up hair. I pay top notch for hair. Have tried the best, the locals, the supercuts barbers, referrels etc etc. Not matter who I try or what I do I NEVER get consistent results. That's what is making me crazy. I am ultra descriptive, take pictures, whatever. It doesn't matter. I always end up in some chair with no mirrors..and end up getting what i get. Any person who has ever done my hair and I loved it, did not duplicate it the next time. I bring pictures of my OWN hair to show how I want it. Front view, back, sides everything! I don't walk in and say make me look like Jennifer Aniston. I say this is what I want..what we did last time.. here are the pics...
Never fails .. I walk out over bleached, or super ashy, too dark, damaged, grey, green, red, whatever. No one I know has this happen.. Their hair always looks the same each time. I try their stylist or master colorist and 2 different drastic results. First will be good, 2nd a different. I am not being dramatic of hyper critical either. Its truly that different each time. I try to tell friends my frustration and I hear, oh it doesn't look so bad and that is that. This happened in Texas, Colorado and Florida. It has been 15 years of this exact same issue.

I am a great client. I tip 50%! You think they would want to keep my business.

My salon is very highly rated. It is listed in all the hair magazines and these magazines always use photos of their looks too. My current stylist is considered a master stylist and colorist. She has DONE my hair correctly before. SO WTH? Why is this happening?

I KNOW this color looks really bad because my bf has never ever said anything but I look fabulous and every bad cut/color he lies and says looks great (will only admit to not liking it until its gone then may say it wasn't his favorite look) Well today he even said it looks dry and he didn't understand where the "darker" color went that made my eyebrows match the look. He then offered "umm it's not your best look hon but don't worry. I will pay to fix it" This from a guy who wouldn't even say my keratin disasters looked bad. Honestly it looks like I dumped my head in a bucket of bleach. Oh except small piece in the back got to keep the original color. I guess that's what made it "only some highlights"

I am going to try and read a book. Something to get my mind of this. I am going to SMT, oil and baby it like last time..but should I fix it? The more i think about it the angrier i get. She knew I didn't want all my hair damaged and just a few pieces. She herself told me last time was hair was fragile. I am starting to get really sick of people not listening to me. Or not understanding.. When I was having distress how long she left it in my hair I was told not to worry, that is was a GENTLE BLEACH. hahahaha I mean, you told me last time I had fragile hair, it was damaged and had to cut off 6 inches, I tell you I want to take care of hair , love current color, so just a couple lights around bangs...and I get this!

Thank God I pre oiled with coconut or it would have broken. I am sure of that, That stuff is a Godsend for people who color.
I may add a pic so you can see I'm not being dramatic if I can bare to look at it. I am livid. I gotta recollect and get on youtube and learn some techniques for doing my own hair . I used to do my own color and balayage highlights before there was even a term for it. I was the I can do this is I put my mind to it maybe. But it is scary..has been so long.


Thank you for the support and taking time to offer advice and kind words.

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 05:42 PM
I've seen some if your previous posts and you seem like a very smart lady. I bet you could learn the science behind colour yourself and do your own highlights and colour!

I colour my own hair and I order professional colour off the Internet. I use redken eq shades to tone my blonde hair. I lighten on my own terms and with colour I've researched. I self trim. And ever since I have started doing it myself I am so much happier and my hair is so much better.

I am sorry you feel sad. I can relate to how you are feeling. Things will get better :) could you be your own stylist from now on? It's easier than it looks :) I promise.

thank you. I didn't think about toning it. Maybe I could just tone it down a notch and then take control like you and everyone else suggests.

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 05:47 PM
you are some great people. I want to respond to all posts actually but that would look annoying I imagine. So in a nutshell this is posted to all who replied. I read every word of all of them. Really considered each piece of advice without thinking how that "wouldn't work" or any other excuse. I took it all into consideration. Will just keep re reading the words so I feel support when down and until I am ready to apply the advice.
I will look into the natural colors that were suggested, toning, doing it myself, baby it for now, keep researching, and take back control.

Aingeal
January 1st, 2014, 07:34 PM
Hugs! Im sorry you are so upset. i agree with doing it yourself. It just takes a little patience.

Ambystoma
January 1st, 2014, 08:03 PM
:grouphug: I completely understand how frustrated you feel right now! You have every right to feel furious as well, as you didn't get what you asked for (which sounded perfectly reasonable) despite being clear and assertive. I've had similar, just utterly baffling experiences with professionals too that left me feeling angry and patronised (when I wanted to grow out my platinum, bleach fried bob I grew out an inch of roots and then asked a colourist to match them and she coloured it this weird plummy/cherry cola/red raj type shade and then swore up and down it matched). I hope things get better for you soon :flower:

woodswanderer
January 1st, 2014, 08:18 PM
Do you feel like your stylist chats too much sometimes and gets distracted? Just pondering about the inconsistent results. My husband gets his hair cut at salon, and I'm usually along reading a magazine. I've noticed his results being inconsistent and I always feel like it happens when the stylist gets excited talking about something.

spidermom
January 1st, 2014, 08:21 PM
I keep thinking about this, so I'm going to ask, and I mean it in the nicest possible way. How did you not notice that the stylist was bleaching far more than just a few pieces around your face?

diddiedaisy
January 1st, 2014, 09:06 PM
I've just dyed my hair blonde today, I do it myself at home as I hate going to the hairdressers. I went in November to get my layers evened out but prior to that it was about 12 years as I've never come across a stylist that did what I asked for. For the first time today I applied coconut oil before dying (thanks to advice on here) but my scalp was on fire. When I looked at the box I have picked up a lighter colour than usual. So I'm presuming more bleach. Panic set in as I thought my hair would drop out!!! After rinsing I applied Aussie 3 minute miracle and then a good dose of argan oil while still wet and then some more oil when it had dried. Thankfully it doesn't look any worse for wear as yet. I'm also lazy with dye and tend to just do a whole head but I'm going to try and stick to roots only for as long as I can. Although my ends aren't split they do look a bit frazzled without good old argan oil.

I'm also not happy with the colour as it is very light blonde, but hey ho, its only colour right, and I do find that on my hair the colour tends to change over a few weeks. Sometimes a bit darker and sometimes lighter. Give it a week and you may think hey I quite like this colour.

My hair is shoulder length and I've only just decided to grow it recently, therefore I have only just started to care for it. But I'm not giving up my dye, my natural has gone mousey and greys are creeping in.

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 10:20 PM
Quite the opposite!
You have all my sympathy.
This may or may not make you feel better:
My hair was passed BSL when I bleached it all... it was beautiful. It stayed that way for three months through root touch-ups and daily styling (necessary for my job at the time)...
Then one day I was feeling lazy. Up until this point I'd done it all myself.
So I went in and had my roots touched up professionally.
Within 12 hours my hair was literally breaking off at the roots (which weren't even light enough to match my hair).
So last fall 2012 I had to shave off my hair that I'd spent 3 years growing out because half of it had broken off due to ONE trip to a "professional stylist".


My honest advice is to read read read read all about it and learn to do it yourself. IME - it's the only way to get consistent results ESPECIALLY with lightening your hair.

thanks for sharing that. I shaved head after salon disaster so can relate. But it is also what is making me so sick. That this just keeps happening no matter where I go or who I use.
Bunnylake is right bleaching can be evil of done wrong but doesn't have to be bad. It is how it is done. I am strongly considering coloring at home and highlighting my bangs. I want color 8N with some blond weaved thru the bang area. Simple right? lol
Mu worry now though is bleaching removes red so will 8N take me ashy? I may need a red color filler first. Not knowing the chemisty is why I am scared now.
Life was easier when I used to use Loreal at home!

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 10:38 PM
I keep thinking about this, so I'm going to ask, and I mean it in the nicest possible way. How did you not notice that the stylist was bleaching far more than just a few pieces around your face?

Good question. I thought about it hard and its funny you ask because I have noticed something.
Anytime I sit in front of the mirror and tell her what I want..I get it. BUT if we start at the color station that is mirrorless I end up in tears.
If I do not touch the sections I want done it I get bad results.

Back to your great question. First, since I wasn't in front of the mirror I was showing picture and chatting and I remember using the phrase "nothing behind the ear" To me that means temples and bang area in front of the ear. To her it meant nothing past back of ear which would be the whole sides too! . So anyway the foils were being pinned in front of my ear so as I touched them I didn't feel anything happening BEHIND the ear. With no mirror to tell I didn't notice. I should have questioned the amount of foils but didn't. 2 reasons..
I am very timid in a stylists chair (goes back to when I had to shave my head, I get extreme anxiety to the chair) and 2nd..I work a 12 hour graveyard shift in a high demand job so I am comatose in the day. I had 2 hours sleep and wasn't all there. I was reading a book also and just got lost in the moment and let myself think all was going to look like it did last time she did it. We had such a long talk last time about what I wanted, my hair goals etc..and I reminded her of all that..so it was a lot of trust.

I thought it was a lot of foils but then thought maybe she was doing some very very fine highlights on that area. The ones you cannot see but make hair glisten. I thought maybe that needed a lot of foils with very few hairs in it or something. Then I zoned back out. Panic set in when I snapped out of it and she left to do someone else while I say. I really started counted the foils and prayed I was right about the fine weave. I removed the clip that had them all smashed in front of my ears and thats when I felt how back the went. I must have looked like a crazy person about that time because she came over and are you ok? I was paniced and said umm its been a long time. She said don't worry its gentle bleach (fav oxymoron) and walked away.
Someone came to get me about 5min later, shampoo, condition..then there is was..apricot hair. i was astounded. There were no highlights. None I can see. It is all over bleach color.
I just do not know what to do, I know she will fix it free..and I am sure she will do it right this time if history repeats itself as it does. BUT I am scared now, I dont know if I want to go back. I am angry. And my hair needs a break.

Its kinda funny, I got a few comments In forum before I seem to experiment a lot with my hair..but I don't, I only things I have ever done different is oil and honey. I have always rotated shampoos/conditioners and experimented with leave ins..and always had a base color with highlights. I just have a natural curiousity about why things work and don't work on my hair so I ask a lot of questions..which makes people assume I am doing all kind of experiments on my hair I suppose. :) my point is..since I am not doing anything different in last 15-20 years..why are my results always so drastically different? Why is it I can have something done, have them fix it, and then next time they mess it up again? no memory?

ErinLeigh
January 1st, 2014, 10:44 PM
I've just dyed my hair blonde today, I do it myself at home as I hate going to the hairdressers. I went in November to get my layers evened out but prior to that it was about 12 years as I've never come across a stylist that did what I asked for. For the first time today I applied coconut oil before dying (thanks to advice on here) but my scalp was on fire. When I looked at the box I have picked up a lighter colour than usual. So I'm presuming more bleach. Panic set in as I thought my hair would drop out!!! After rinsing I applied Aussie 3 minute miracle and then a good dose of argan oil while still wet and then some more oil when it had dried. Thankfully it doesn't look any worse for wear as yet. I'm also lazy with dye and tend to just do a whole head but I'm going to try and stick to roots only for as long as I can. Although my ends aren't split they do look a bit frazzled without good old argan oil.

I'm also not happy with the colour as it is very light blonde, but hey ho, its only colour right, and I do find that on my hair the colour tends to change over a few weeks. Sometimes a bit darker and sometimes lighter. Give it a week and you may think hey I quite like this colour.

My hair is shoulder length and I've only just decided to grow it recently, therefore I have only just started to care for it. But I'm not giving up my dye, my natural has gone mousey and greys are creeping in.

thanks for sharing. I am the same.. mousy with grays..SL and starting to care. :)
I am just tired of fixing mistakes and starting over. I just want nice hair. It is important to me.
I like what you said though about seeing what color develops. I may wash with a purple shampoo in a few days and see what happens. I was thinking about fixing it right away because of the eyebrow clash issue but may wait and just let hair rest..see what color comes out to..then maybe slowly adding in lowlights of base color so I am not overdoing it.

I know this seems dramatic me whining about bleach when I am obviously so blond in siggy..but that's the thing..only the top was blond. If it was pulled back in ponytail all you would see is dark. That is how I kept it from clashing with eyebrows. And my biggest reason for not wanting the highlights further back than in front of ears was simply to prevent damage. I wanted to stop highlighting too much. I had that serious keratin damage in October so I am trying to baby my hair and not bleach it so much, Bangs area I always keep a little below chin so that I am cool with bleaching that still. IF it breaks or fried then worsts thing is I get bangs!

I learned a lot of all you ladies and I was really serious about doing things right for my hair this time. I learned I wanted good healthy hair and made that compromise with myself for roots only color and bangs for highlights. I guess I wasn't clear/verbal enough.

From now on..if I am letting a stylist highlight my hair I am going to go in with my hair clipped up on the parts I do not want highlights on.
That is what I really need to do. It is just common sense after this many issues. I should have thought of that.

Flor
January 2nd, 2014, 04:48 AM
I think it's just the law or probabilities. They more treatments (color, straightening, etc) you're applying to your hair, the higher the chance that something will go wrong in a defined amount of time. Whenever human factor is involved, it's impossible to escape a probability of error (down to communication error, or lack of attention, or poor skills, etc). You can minimize some of those risk factors by finding a skilled hair technical, providing excruciatingly detailed explanations of what what you want each time and monitoring the whole process.

Alternatively you can do it yourself from now on (and you'll only have yourself (and/or product) to blame if something goes wrong), or consider adopting low-maintenance approach to your hair or start practicing the "It's only hair, it'll grow out" mantra (which is probably not what you want to hear now, but it is true) :)

Skade
January 2nd, 2014, 05:27 AM
Sorry you had a bad experience like that. I have done a lot of hair mistakes, can understand how sad you are now after. I hope you feel better soon, and donŽt take a break, stay around and find some comfort. Or if you take a break, make it a short one. :)

restless
January 2nd, 2014, 06:09 AM
I know now bleach isn't supported so I know I will get the "what did you expect" but I just can't deal with that right now.

I just wanted to say that Im so sorry you had to go through this. Im sure nobody would ever say anything like the quoted sentence in here- we all care a lot for our hair and know how important it can be to someone. After all we aim for the same thing; healthy and pretty hair whether its long or short or something inbetween.

I also bet almost all of us have done things to our hair that left it too short/broken/dry/stringy/funny looking/uneven and therefore can relate to the feeling and instead of judging you weŽll feel sympathy. I myself have experimented with heat and dye in the past because I was unhappy with my natural colour and texture and even though I put a lot of money and effort into my hair it still felt and looked like crap so I can totally relate to the feeling of frustration.

:flower:

ErinLeigh
January 8th, 2014, 09:02 PM
so to update I am feeling much better. I took the change to hair pretty hard as I have been having a little bit of a rough time lately so having ANY change beyond my control really just added to my stress. I guess it was a control issue. Plus I was pretty happy with how good my hair was feeling and felt I put hard work into to get it tho that condition.

That being said, I took the advice to tone it a bit and just let it settle. Color came out pretty good actually. After a light protein treatment, lots of moisture, some good oils and tons of honey hair is back to smooth and soft so at least the scary part is over.

I will be a lot more careful in the future not to zone out and not to let color overlap or let bleach go over a part that has been bleached before *fingers crossed* Chemicals can be scary so I have to be careful. I am weary of next time but have vowed to be very careful in whatever I decide to do next.

I have had a ton of complments on my hair over the past week from strangers, coworkers and friends on how good hair looks so that helped a lot in making me realize I was being over dramatic. I mean these people did not know I was stressing about hair so its not like they were trying to make me feel better. All compliments came out of the blue. I went to party a few days ago and the host told me later 3 of her invitees commented to her my hair looked really good. I found that wild since she didn't know I was stressed about hair either and I never really had hair compliments before ever.

All in all as far as texture hair is getting in a good place. The bleach gave me a little volume from roughing up the cuticle, yet it looks smooth and feels softer than it ever has. I have to say I am really a fan of oils, honey co washes, and good leave in conditioners! They do work. How I cannot say but I do like how my hair feels now compared to the past. Even the good keratin treatments did not do for my hair what these things have.

I am weary about moving forward. I still have much to think about. I have some henna/cassia mix in my bathroom to consider. I have the option to do my own roots, or I can go to stylist but PAY ATTENTION and be super clear. I will be weighing my options very carefully although I am worried. As one of you said, the chances for messing up becomes higher the more you do to hair. Since I double process that really increases chances.

Sometimes I read on here the comments about bleached, blowfried, styled hair and find them to be a bit harsh. A poster recently commented about long natural hair on here not looking its best and some were offended, yet they forget many of us here do blow dry and color and we have to read some judgemental comments ourselves. So I hope people realize hair can look good at all lengths, styles and colors. To me healthy and nice looking hair is what turns my head. Not certain color, lengths or styles. We all have our own standards for what is beautiful.

I want to thank anyone who took the time to post support. Sometimes a kind word from someone goes a lot farther than you realize when someone is feeling down and out. Kindness is a wonderful quality and you are beautiful people for offering your time.

I hope everyone has a lovely new year and that 2014 brings you all health and love (and continued gorgeous hair, as EVERYONE of you has it in my opinion)