Weird hair; Odd waves, frizziness, stiff strands

[4AllEternity]

Hi all, I've been trying to figure out what's up with my hair for a while, with no success, so I'm here to consult :P. A little background info, I'm a guy with medium length hair (longest part touches the beginning of my jaw bone) roughly this shape sans the layers (http://mens-haircuts.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/layered-haircut.jpg). I'll start with the waves first. For the last few years, my hair has had this odd wave near the ends of my bangs. Just my bangs, it literally goes straight across my forehead and then stops (the sides are fairly straight except for another wave right at the ends). My hair literally has one wave in it, in different locations on each side, but always at the ends. This is a problem because the placement makes it impossible to style, as all wavy styles I've seen involve completely wavy hair, I don't know what to do with hair that wants to be straight except for the ends. Why I'm asking for help is that my hair wasn't always like that; I had even longer hair when I was a kid and it was completely straight, no waves. So I'm wondering if I've been doing something that encourages this odd wave formation. One thing I've noticed I do that most guys do not, is comb my hair frequently. I have to, otherwise my hair is a jumbled mess, but perhaps the way I've been combing it has encouraged odd growth? I carry a comb around comb it multiple times a day to get it in order (a gust of wind is sufficient to poof it up).

Secondly, my hair looks pretty nice the first day after I wash it, but the second day it's incredibly prone to frizziness for some reason. I think the frizziness and stiff strands are connected (because the frizziness isn't really the damaged kind, it more like my hair doesn't mesh together, but rather is all over the place) so I'll segue to the stiffness issue. My hair is bizzarely stiff, I've never seen anyone else with my type. Movement seems to be limited to the base of the strand, the majority of the strand is not very flexible (for hair). This seems to prevent my hair from just falling back into place when disturbed, instead, it simply stays sticking up (hence why I comb it all the time). If I ever encounter a good gust of wind, my hair won't fall flat (or even relatively flat) after it stops blowing, it just stays sticking up. Whole locks of my bangs will stick up, defying gravity, until I brush them back down.

Strangely, flat ironing it seems to help the issue (though it's not the cause, as I've only recently tried it), so perhaps I have a bunch of uneven wavy strands sticking everything together. I dunno, I've never met another person with similar issues, so I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Here's some additional info:

-hair porousity test revealed... my hair isn't porous at all? I thoroughly dunked a couple of strands (from different parts of my head) in cold and hot water and left them all night, and in the morning, they were still floating.
-I tried dumping coney/sulfatey conditioners/shampoos and sticking with argan/olive oil conditioners, which do make it soft and slippery, but still fairly inflexible
-tried clarifying with an industrial strength clarifyer xP (Neutrogena Clarifying Shampoo) and conditioning after, my hair was slightly shinier than usual, but still experienced all the usual problems
-my hair is fairly virgin, I had streaks put in, but those are recent and these problems pre-date any colouring/flat ironing
-I've tried growing it out longer to see if the weight will help it lie down, nope, problems get worse with length.

[4AllEternity]

I've been finding that flat ironing really seems to help. I'm guessing that my problem is just a combo of having lots of hair, and multiple wave patterns preventing the hair from meshing together. Obviously straightening with a flat iron isn't the best for hair health, but I find my hair way easier to deal with, and nicer looking. I suspect I have thick, durable hair, as I haven't found any issue with regular flat ironing. It actually looks shinier flat ironed than it does natural :/ I'm careful to not overdo the temperature (380) and always use heat protectant spray.

[ErinLeigh]

maybe too much protein in the hair? Mine was very stiff and acted a lot like that when I was too heavy with protein. You could try some really deep conditioners and see if they help. There is the famous SMT here (cone free conditioner, aloe, honey) or a good light cone filled one like my favorite Loreal Natures Therapy Mega Moisture.

The second day frizz could be from too much friction and sweating when you sleep. Same with the funny wave. Mine seems to do that after 'a night of laying on it and having a dampness from sleep sweat. Try some deep conditioning and if that doesn't help at least you have that crossed off the list.
Oh and sometimes the S wave around bangs just forms over time from pushing them to the side. Are you doing anything that moves them? Head flip constant pushing them, sleeping on them?

Could you blow dry it instead of flat ironing it? You are pulling out good moisture. Also, 380 is way too hot. Try bringing it down to 250 and see if you can live with that. I found it works just as well but does't fry it off.

[Firefox7275]

Sounds like you have wavy hair you are treating as straight so you cannot see the wave, yes that is SUPER common! I have ringlets at the front today and defined waves at the back because I followed the 'Curly Girl method'.

My hair looks virtually straight if I just towel turban and brush - photo posted on another thread yesterday. My own mother was shocked when I started encouraging the curl in my late thirties.

Also you either have build up (solution: clarify and chelate you can get a shampoo that does this), and/ or naturally coarse hair (no solution but can be improved with better conditioning). For depoufing/ frizz reduction: way gentler cleansing method, leave in conditioner, stop combing and brushing just finger style.

Heat styling at that temp is damaging, shiny hair does not simply equal healthy hair that is a mistake - straight hair reflects light more as do silicones (in most heat protectants).

[kitemera15]

It sounds like you could have some kind of build up. You could do a bit of a test by clarifying and conditioning with a cone free conditioner that doesn't have any other ingredients that don't wash out easily, for a couple of weeks, or try some tea rinses instead of conditioner.