Hypersensitivity and hair -- aspie type question

[Kaelee]

First a little background: I strongly suspect that I am somewhere on the autism spectrum, most likely Aspbergers'. I have a LOT of traits (a LOT) and autism runs strongly in my dad's side of the family, with two full blown autistic cousins and many more who are likely Aspie. I have been evaluated multiple times, but never got an Aspberger's diagnosis- I was once told by an (incompetent) therapist that I couldn't have Aspberger's "because I have a job" and my latest (VERY good) psychologist did not give that diagnosis most likely because it wasn't the most pressing issue going on in my life, and she does not like to hand out diagnosis like proverbial candy. I also think it's very hard to get diagnosed as an adult, especially since they watch for Aspberger's and Autism like a hawk in school systems, so they figure if you had it, you would have been diagnosed before adulthood.

Anyway, I have some sensory hypersensitivity. This is MUCH worse when stressed- for example, I might feel my wallet in my back pocket CONSTANTLY and it will drive me nuts. :mad: Or, I might not feel it at all and it will be like it's not even there. Same with my cell phone, or car keys in my pocket, the tags in certain shirts (although, oddly, tags in shirts don't USUALLY bother me at all.) Where my hair comes into this...argh, when I'm having one of those "bad days" having my hair up AT ALL is uncomfortable. Not because it pulls, or is painful, but because if there's the slightest tugging or pressure (it doesn't have to be tight) and it's not equally spread out all over my head (usually it's a slight pressure on the right side where I insert the stick) it drives me completely, and totally, up the wall. I will redo my hair 10 times in one night not because it's pulling, or painful, or not holding, but because I've suddenly morphed into the Princess and the Pea and I can not stop thinking about that subtle pressure on one side of my head. :doh:(and if it was on all sides of my head, it wouldn't bother me but if it's NOT SYMMETRICAL....)

I've actually gotten pretty good about it (and better at doing comfortable updos) but I've been under a ton of stress lately, and tonight was especially bad. And when it's especially bad, it interferes with my life in a pretty unwelcome way.

I've come to the conclusion that it's in my head as much as it's in my hair. If nothing's pulling, if it's not painful, if it's not hurting anything...it should be fine, right?

Does anyone else deal with this? How do you deal with it? Especially on those really hypersensitive-to-everything days? It's not every day, or even most days (it's actually pretty rare anymore for me to redo my hair more than 3 times over the course of a day, but some days are just exceptional! :laugh:)

[Macaroni]

Try securing your bun with Amish hairpins and then placing the stick for decoration. If the stick isn't pulling on one section, maybe it will be more comfortable for you to wear it.

[durgidog]

I can't keep my hair up for more than 4 hours due to EXACTLY this. I'm an artist and the time that I'm working in my studio is the only exception - that's the only time I don't notice any irritations with my hair. Hang in there sweetheart, you are not alone.

[tigerlily]

If not autism spectrum (although it sounds like it could be a strong possibility with your family) it could be HSP. http://www.hsperson.com/ Its basically that you are more sensitive to things than other people, and the sensitivity can be affected by stress levels, so something you can deal with on a good day can be overwhelming when already stressed.

[BlazingHeart]

While I'm not on the spectrum, I have fibro, which makes me hypersensitive to everything. I sympathize. I can't wear a bun for more than 2 hours without taking it down and putting it back up. It doesn't matter if it's tight or loose, a twisted bun or an untwisted one. I just can't take the pressure/pull of my own hair. It doesn't seem to make much of a difference how I secure it, either.

I don't really have any good advice. For me, if I take it down and put it back up, even if I put it in the exact same spot, I feel fine again for a couple hours. It's very weird.

[Flor]

Same here. Hair, shirt tags, you name it.

Have you tried just loosening the pulling part slightly and then trying to occupy your mind with some high demand or routine activity. It usually helps me, because those sensors are sharp only first few minutes and then they accept that the sensation is there to stay, so they stop alerting you about it. It's like when you put clothes on, at first you feel them very well against your skin, but during the day you no longer feel the fabric every time you move. Unless you're actually focusing on it and not able to reroute that focus.

Sometimes when I go running, I feel the sock is slightly gathered in one place inside the sneaker. And it bugs me SO much that I want to kick that sneaker off immediately and fix the damn sock. Or one sneaker is tied just slightly bit snugger than another and I wanna redo it immediately. But if I start listening to music or talk to the person I'm with, I don't even notice when that feeling goes away. Doesn't always work though.

On the subject of autism. It's a scale, we're all there somewhere. You might just not have it strong enough to be diagnosed as a medical condition.

[ravenreed]

I am also easily distressed by sensory type things. I have been diagnosed with both ADD and fibromyalgia. Tags in clothes drive my nuts and slightly flickery fluorescent lights leave me exhausted. When my scalp is too sensitive, I just wear my hair down for a bit. Even a braid hurts too much some days.

[truepeacenik]

If not autism spectrum (although it sounds like it could be a strong possibility with your family) it could be HSP. http://www.hsperson.com/ Its basically that you are more sensitive to things than other people, and the sensitivity can be affected by stress levels, so something you can deal with on a good day can be overwhelming when already stressed.
Took the test on that site. Only three unchecked boxes!

Might explain why I redo my hair up to four times a day.

[swords & roses]

While I'm not on the spectrum, nor do I have fibro, what gets to me now & then is my scoliosis. My spine curves to the left in my low back & to the right in my upper back. The part where it switches directions is about at my bra strap. My broken-in bras don't bug me, but trying on new ones is INFURIATING!!! On a bad day, I can't even stand DH rubbing my back in that spot. I'll flinch away. It's not painful, just highly irritating. It's much better and/or goes away completely if I get adjusted regularly by my chiropractor. The worst is when I've gone way too long without an adjustment. My brain tells me pretty clearly at that point, "HEY!!!! Something's not right over here!!! FIX IT NOW!!!"

[Kaelee]

Well I'm glad it's not just me!!! It's funny, I wore my bun for 8 straight (comfortable) hours before I ended up redoing it a bunch of times last night! It was really getting to me. Usually I'm pretty good (a "full day" for me though is 12+ hours due to my work schedule). I'm wearing it the same way this morning and while I can feel very subtle pressure I'm trying not to let it be annoying. (and it's one of my best sticks too...my Lady Idun! This upsets me, though it's still the best after my TT for center held buns. I don't tend to do center held often anymore.)

[ExpectoPatronum]

Hey there.

Once again, not on the spectrum, but like you, I strongly think I might be for a multitude of reasons. I have the same issue. I constantly re-do my updos because they simply don't feel right before I give up and leave my hair down. I don't know about you, but I also have a habit of touching/playing with my hair when I'm feeling stressed out or overwhelmed.

[Kaelee]

I play with my hair when I'm stressed or overwhelmed, but pulling it up/back all the time keeps me from doing it. If it's out of reach, I can't mess with it. I think both myself AND my hair has benefited a lot from this. ;)

[melesine]

I found the book Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World really helpful. For me it's mostly noise, smells, light and crowds, but I also react to physical things like I hate feeling sticky or sweaty, it drives me nuts. I have to shower every night before I go to bed so I can sleep comfortably and sometimes in the morning if I woke up feeling sweaty. I can't stand constricting clothing either. As for my hair, I did find using amish pins helpful and even the fakkare clips, as long as my hair is secure. Otherwise I'm always redoing it. I constantly touch my hair and run my fingers through it if it's down.

Distracting myself is the biggest helper. I tend to pray the rosary as a distraction but anything that can pull your mind away from what is annoying you works.

[Kaelee]

I'll look that book up, thanks!!!

I think distraction is a big thing, since sometimes I can't feel it at all and it really depends on what else is going on.

[Katrine]

I also struggle with issues of hypersensitivity, and also sensitivity with my scalp. Some days I struggle to figure out what to do with my hair and then the actual mechanics of doing it. Being stressed intensifies it and awhile back my scalp started objecting to wearing my go to nautilus bun that had never been uncomfortable. I had learned a new bun that I really liked and my scalp seemed to have no tolerance after I had worn it a few times. I went back to the nautilus but that was a no go as well. So I stopped wearing buns for awhile and did some braiding and wore it down a lot.

One thing I discovered was helpful when I eventually was able to start wearing buns again is wearing a head band with it. The bun is usually just above the occipital bone at the back of my head and the headband is right underneath giving it support. Plus the headband adds more interest to the front and when I arrange the sides of my hair in a softer way the look is less severe. Now I just need to get more headbands! :)

[torrilin]

I'm ADD, not autism spectrum, but some symptoms parallel. I definitely pick hairstyles not just for looks but for comfort. I spend a lot of time in a variety of braided styles because for me they are more comfortable. Single braid, twin braids, tucked french braid, heidi braids, braided buns... just in general braids work for me. Thing is, when I compare myself to neurotypical women with long hair, I'm actually a lot more likely to wear it up, and I tend to fuss less even tho I might redo my hair many times over the course of some days.

Why?

Well, I've had long hair for a long time. I've always been fairly active, so updos (even simple stuff like ponytails) have always been a favorite, even when I was a little girl. And I've always done 'em for myself. My mom is super hair challenged and between that and my sensitive scalp, she just wouldn't try to "do" my hair unless it was a hugely special occasion. Like once a year, tops. So if a style hurt, I knew there was one person involved... me! And I knew I could fix it. And I got *lots* of practice.

Certain styles do get regular comments for comfort from a wide range of posters. Braided ones are common (there is a reason a big fat single braid is a cliche in almost every time period in history). My go to bun is the celtic knot, and that is a frequent favorite for comfort. The Gibraltar bun is another. And the nautilus/lazy wrap/pencil bun school is often a favorite for comfort.

(in addition to ADD, fibro and autism spectrum, there's a fair number of other neurological/mental disorders like migraines that can cause issues of hypersensitivity... really, I promise you you are not alone, and it is a common problem. as a kid I'd routinely wear clothes inside out because the seams bothered me so much.)

[ravenreed]

As well as Spin Pins hold for me, I can't use them all the way around a bun because they press on my scalp just enough to bother me. I can use one in the thick part of a bun where it doesn't rest right on my scalp. I also can't use a bunch of Amish Pins because again, one pin will end up getting pressed down in a bothersome way. I try to use as few as possible. I also prefer very thin hair sticks and forks for just that reason.


Well I'm glad it's not just me!!! It's funny, I wore my bun for 8 straight (comfortable) hours before I ended up redoing it a bunch of times last night! It was really getting to me. Usually I'm pretty good (a "full day" for me though is 12+ hours due to my work schedule). I'm wearing it the same way this morning and while I can feel very subtle pressure I'm trying not to let it be annoying. (and it's one of my best sticks too...my Lady Idun! This upsets me, though it's still the best after my TT for center held buns. I don't tend to do center held often anymore.)

[leslissocool]

sensory processing it's not the same as autism, often kids in the spectrum have it but many times neurotypical people do. EVERYONE has sensory needs (some people like to sleep only with heavy blankets, some have oral fixations, some like only cold foods ect).


I ecco the book recomendation! I have A LOT of sensory behaviors (I can hear electicity, and TV, from very afar I'm that hypersensitive to noise, and I don't wear other colors than black it makes me feel anxious and fat, and I ONLY wear the same style of clothes, I've been that way since childhood), I'm extremely verbal (I speak many languages fluently) and have no social issues (which is actually a HUGE part of autism, so it's not surprising that doctors won't give you a diagnosis if you have other issues and don't struggle with social situations).

ADD and ADHD IS autism spectrum FYI (http://www.lanc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/ASD.png), however ADD and ADHD don't have autism as an "explanation" if that makes any sense. I was told this by multiple neurologists. The spectrum is so wide, genious children fall on it too. Genetic link from ADHD/ADD has been made.


Anyways regarding hair, I can't help you I can't wear buns on a daily basis, rather I wear braids. My hair is very coarse and heavy, I can feel it, and most buns bother me. I wear braided buns because of this, and usually an english braid.


My advice is start little by little building up coping mechanisms. That's what I did with my daughter, she hated hair brushing, I started doing a couple strokes, letting her find a way to cope, now I can brush and braid her hair just fine. She still dislikes it, she will always be sensitive to it, but she can cope enough to do it before she goes to school.



ETA: Ok, on stressful times when you HAVE to mess with your hair, you could actually do scalp massages and deep pressure. It's a sensory OT technique for kids to soothe them when they have high anxiety and sensory overload. Get a scalp massager, and go at it. Instead of pulling your hair and messing, every 30 minutes (I do it every 15) massage your scalp with a massager (http://www.forever21.com/images/default_330/25953601-01.jpg) or your fingers. It will not only help you relax, but also encourage hair growth. Try to replace your behavior with something positive.


Another ETA: A way to explain sensory processing disorder correctly can be divide it into two main categories: Hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. Basically, it's the way your bair processes external information. If you feel the NEED to mess with your hair (pull, tug, twirl, ect) you are looking for the sensory stimulation (hyposensitivity), you are seeking something you get out of it therefore you do it, so by replacing it with something that gives you a similar sensory stimulation often does the trick. It's not bad that you seek it, it's like a way to get all the stress and anxiety out. So take time to address it by getting that simulation, that's how it will decrease your need for it. Like a nervous tick. Often people with sensory needs (hyposensitivity) have trouble 'feeling' their body, it's like it's not even there, so spinning and those stims and "ticks" actually help them be aware of their body and surrounding. So the way I see it it makes sense that you rarely feel it, and when you do you want to mess with it (usually under stress).

[Kaelee]

As if to test my theory, my day went to heck in a handbasket, and the moment it did, my formerly comfortable hairstyle did likewise. :lol:

[melesine]

Often people with sensory needs (hyposensitivity) have trouble 'feeling' their body, it's like it's not even there, so spinning and those stims and "ticks" actually help them be aware of their body and surrounding. So the way I see it it makes sense that you rarely feel it, and when you do you want to mess with it (usually under stress).

Thanks for posting that, it was really helpful.

[swearnsue]

If the asymmetry is bothering me I tell myself that in one hour I will "even it out" by putting the stick the other way. This kinda works for me and I'm an aspie.

If my hair starts to feel like it's pulling on the top of my head, then I tell myself that I'll make a bun low in the back and that it will even out the pressure over the day.

If I make a French twist type of bun, then the next time I'll twist it in the opposite direction and clip it up.

Sometimes no matter what I do my hair and scalp will not feel comfortable, not "right" and I haven't figured out what to do. If I'm at home I can just lay down and read with my hair loose.

[ravenheather]

My 5 year old dd has sensory processing issues. While her clothes have to be loose or stretchy. Her shoes and updos she likes snug. Buns she wants me to redo as soon as they loosen at all. So she wears her hair down and in braids a lot.

[Kaelee]

If the asymmetry is bothering me I tell myself that in one hour I will "even it out" by putting the stick the other way. This kinda works for me and I'm an aspie.

If my hair starts to feel like it's pulling on the top of my head, then I tell myself that I'll make a bun low in the back and that it will even out the pressure over the day.

If I make a French twist type of bun, then the next time I'll twist it in the opposite direction and clip it up.

Sometimes no matter what I do my hair and scalp will not feel comfortable, not "right" and I haven't figured out what to do. If I'm at home I can just lay down and read with my hair loose.

I wish I could get my hands coordinated to put the stick in the other way!!! :lol:


My 5 year old dd has sensory processing issues. While her clothes have to be loose or stretchy. Her shoes and updos she likes snug. Buns she wants me to redo as soon as they loosen at all. So she wears her hair down and in braids a lot.

I'm the same way! I hate it when my bun starts to get loose and I can feel it wobble.

[truepeacenik]

As if to test my theory, my day went to heck in a handbasket, and the moment it did, my formerly comfortable hairstyle did likewise. :lol:

Yes! The day goes crap and suddenly everything, noise, light, temperature, the almost healed bruise from the table, the two loose hairs touching somewhere drive me bats.

What's truly the cherry on the poop sundae is that is when I'll have a seizure. Even my synesthesia tints "grumpy." Like badly done varnishing.

I cannot have scissors easily at hand, because I have hacked at hair in these spirals. Many, many years ago, but lesson learned.

[Kaelee]

UGH! *hugs*

Yesterday I got my hair to stay comfortable for 8+ hours. If I THOUGHT about it, it drove me NUTS, almost to prove that yes, it's definitely all in my head. So I kept telling myself "it didn't move, it's still secure, so it's all in your head" and then thought about something else. It worked, but I wasn't too badly stressed out.

[Saldana]

I second the HSP possibility. I have a lot of the 'sensory' stuff, but not much of the social aspects of Aspergers spectrum. But when I went and took the HSP test, I think I checked all but one or two of the boxes! So I did some reading up on it, and *bing* - lots of things which hadn't made sense before became crystal clear.

My hair isn't long enough yet to have to wear it up all the time, but when it was hip length, I definitely spent a lot of time doing and redoing it if anything (and I do mean *anything*) was pulling or tugging, even a little bit. Couldn't stand it.

And I could give so many more examples.....please check out the HSP sites, and see if it fits you. I have gotten a lot of help from the sites and the books, and I hope you might as well.

[Kaelee]

I second the HSP possibility. I have a lot of the 'sensory' stuff, but not much of the social aspects of Aspergers spectrum. But when I went and took the HSP test, I think I checked all but one or two of the boxes! So I did some reading up on it, and *bing* - lots of things which hadn't made sense before became crystal clear.

My hair isn't long enough yet to have to wear it up all the time, but when it was hip length, I definitely spent a lot of time doing and redoing it if anything (and I do mean *anything*) was pulling or tugging, even a little bit. Couldn't stand it.

And I could give so many more examples.....please check out the HSP sites, and see if it fits you. I have gotten a lot of help from the sites and the books, and I hope you might as well.

The HSP stuff definitely fits me, so do some of the social/learning bits of Aspbergers' as well. I'll look into it more. Thanks!

[redtuss]

I don't have aspbergers or the likes but do have a very sensitive scalp - I can recognise every word you write about hypersensivity and updos pulling and such. I even have problems lying next to someone and feeling their heartbeat or pulse (or my own) - drives me nuts! Same goes for people fickering with their hands or fingers, if I am sitting close or lying next to them and can feel them doing it I just get the creeps.

It's especially bad when the pulling is at my hairline, I can almost feel every separate strand pulling and eventually snapping.. So updos can be very challening!! If I can't get it right the first couple of times I have to resort to a braid and maybe tuck it in itself with a Flexi and move one. I don't want to have my hair down too often since I hate getting it caught in fabric or things, or accidentally getting it stuck in my hands and pulling it.

If I work night shifts I almost always have to undo my hairstyle and redo it, but it really does not matter at night so I let myself do that and just keep it loose a few hours (night time makes me more sensitive to pulling and uncomfortable clothes etc. etc). During day I don't want to redo a bun or such but sometimes I still have to, I will try not to just take it down but replacing it with a similar bun/braid/whatever.


Anyhow - ideas!! Sometimes it helps to get something else to think about, get busy (easy to say..). If there is a hairstyle that works; go for it, like braids or even loose. And don't stress when doing the hair, time is the key. Someone had the tip of inserting a stick the other way if it is "crooked" and that is a great idea, to try and get it symmetrical again.

[wandlimb]

I'm hypersensitive too and my hair often bothers me. I end up altering my hairpins a lot.

[Bananfot]

I am getting an evaluation of aspberger or autism spectrum in the new year, im not shure if i i can get it on the paper and im not shure if anyone can get the diagnisos aspberger anymore, because many countries have take the diagnosis a way, because the statistic curve of people having aspberger have risen extreamly! (i think it becasue many people have not been notised before) and now the goverment loose a lot of money because there are more people that need suprorte and help. So it all about the money when it comes to the aspbergers diagnosis don`t exist anymore.
But they can give other diagnosis if they even bother..... stupid bureaucracy how want to save money.... But i think that some places they still have the aspberger term, i don`t know..

I have the same problem with my hair. i don`t have so long hair, but i have problems with hair bands of any kind, and i cant have a hairbun in the back of my head for long. I even cant were my glasses for more then 2 houers.... when i am at home i do a hair bun on the top of my head and use clips claws. Thats help me alot, because there is no weight pulling my hair. and i do in the neck and back of my head when i leav the house of i were my hair loose or in a braid because i hate the look of the "ballerina" bun on me...
The thought that crossed my maidn the other day was: how is it gona feel when i get longer hair?!!! When i now have problems with the weight of my hair....
This is so boring because i feel it hinders me of having nice updos... But i have to parctise more to find more options.

[JellyBene]

I have sensory processing disorder and i know exactly what you mean. Anyway when my hair gets long and i'm feeling overstimulated I usually just put it in a silk sleeping cap and that tends to help. Or a loose french braid :)
By the way this thread seems super supportive and I'm glad to know there are others out there! I was also diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as a kid and have always been rather socially awkward, that coupled with the SPD I have wondered if I'm somewhere on the low end of aspbergers, like borderline aspbergers maybe. Glad to know I'm not alone in my ponderings

[starlamelissa]

I have a kid with sensory processing disorder... He struggles with smells and noises. Its worse when he is anxious.

Ie- a have a friend who smokes, and my son CANNOT go over there. The smell just kills him. Also bacon, to him, the worst smell of all. If he smells bacon cooking, he gets dry heaves.

[AmberJewel]

Tigerlily, I found that site on HSP to be very interesting. It also explains a lot of my issues. Thanks for posting!