What a let down. Hair extension related.

[ProverbsGirl]

So, I was watching a show that hubby and I really like yesterday. There is a girl on there, that I have always really admired her hair.
Well last night I realized that she more than likely (I'm about 90% sure) has hair extentions.
Ever since I realized it, I have been so let down.
Then I googled and turns out a lot of people use them. Now I am feeling let down, and wondering who really has nice long hair and who's is fake. Makes me wonder who else's long hair I have been admiring, and it is actually fake too.
I realize this in no way truly affects me, but I wonder how much it skews my perception of healthy long hair.
Does that make sense?

[cowgirllong]

It does to me. I quit admiring famous people's hair a long time ago. These days I admire hair here on the forums!

[blue_eyes]

Yup, I completely understand where you're coming from. It's like admiring a model or actress/actor for being gorgeous and then finding out it's all photoshop.

I remember seeing a photo of Natalie Dormer as Anne Boleyn in The Tudors, her dark brown curly hair was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. That was my dream! I began growing my hair long and dyeing it dark brown/ black. Then one day I found out it was ALL extensions...her actual hair was about shoulder length. It sort of made me feel like "wow, I'm chasing after something that doesn't even exist."

[Crumpet]

It does to me. I quit admiring famous people's hair a long time ago. These days I admire hair here on the forums!

Yes, the hair here is absurd. I'm in love with so many heads of hair its silly!

[Madora]

I can understand the let down feeling but consider this: it probably cost them plenty to have those extensions put in and what kind of shape was their hair after those extensions were taken out?

[AmyBeth]

I think that what you describe is rather healthy. Facing reality is a good thing. You don't have to chase the illusion anymore and spend untold hundreds of dollars on "hair care" products. I taught my daughters to check the film editing of movies and television. You don't see that what goes on between edits is makeup and hairstylists descending on the stars and fixing every hair that might have been moved out of place. Nobody looks that perfect in real life, with real hair.

[Kikina]

Well, you know that famous people just can't treat their hair as they should. Most stylists may even be their hair's worst enemy just because they are sort of obliged to follow the fashion trends and it seems that really long hair isn't always in. I bet at least 70% of the Hollywood "Rapunzels" are fake.

[endlessly]

It definitely makes sense! I can't even begin to count the number of times I'll see another woman with beautiful long hair only to discover they're hair extensions...it's a definite let-down. I just had an incident about one month ago (before I started wearing my hair up whenever I left the house) where someone complimented me on my hair extensions and I had to burst their bubble by saying, "No, this is my real hair." Then, they proceeded to argue with me that real hair can't possibly be that long.

I think people with hair extensions have definitely ruined the image of natural long hair because most women now don't have the patience to let their hair grow out. Why take the effort if they can just buy it?

[HintOfMint]

I remember getting a little pouty when I realized Lana del Rey's hair was extensions. I don't know why, I knew for years that most celebrities use extensions if they're shown with long hair, but somehow I had it in my head that she was "cooler" than that. Ah well. It makes sense though. Between cutting and coloring for different roles, endorsements and events, most long hair can't really take the styling abuse, so off it goes, and in comes the extensions.

For me, an even bigger unrealistic hair expectation that Hollywood creates is that hair is always neat and in place. So when people see fluffed out ends, or hair that's been a little windblown, the conclusion is that her hair is a disaster. Seriously? People go outside and move around, this is not shocking.

[Madora]

For me, an even bigger unrealistic hair expectation that Hollywood creates is that hair is always neat and in place. So when people see fluffed out ends, or hair that's been a little windblown, the conclusion is that her hair is a disaster. Seriously? People go outside and move around, this is not shocking.

I couldn't agree more, HintOfMint! The sad thing is too many impressionable folk think that their hair is imperfect if it doesn't match the Hollywood standard...picture perfect, sleek, shiny, every.single.hair.in.place. But there's an army of stylists behind that illusion...plus God knows what has been sprayed on their hair.

[dreamingstar]

It definitely makes sense! I can't even begin to count the number of times I'll see another woman with beautiful long hair only to discover they're hair extensions...it's a definite let-down. I just had an incident about one month ago (before I started wearing my hair up whenever I left the house) where someone complimented me on my hair extensions and I had to burst their bubble by saying, "No, this is my real hair." Then, they proceeded to argue with me that real hair can't possibly be that long.

I think people with hair extensions have definitely ruined the image of natural long hair because most women now don't have the patience to let their hair grow out. Why take the effort if they can just buy it?

Exactly! We live in a commercial world that has sapped the patience from most of the populace - not to mention the knowledge about what wonders can occur naturally. I think that is such a shame. I am sorry to hear about that person arguing with you. You have lovely hair! Please don't let their ignorance take away from your enjoyment of it!

[Babyfine]

Extensions are put in for thickiness, also, as well as length. So now I'm not so hard on myself for my hair that looks so thin when it gets long- a lot of those celebrities you see on TV have help in the volume department, too, as well as length.

[Mayflower]

No I can't really relate to this feeling. I don't see why I should feel let down by the hair extentions of others; it's their free choice to wear them, and it can still be inspirational. Some may not be very natural or realistic looking (especially in thickness), but the length can still be an inspiration to grow your own hair out.

I do think it's a shame people don't want to muster up the patience to grow out their hair, and want to have and buy everything NOW (let alone the ethical part of it all), but it doesn't bother me if it's "cheating" or not. Everyone can do whatever they want. :) Besides, most complexions are not natural (make-up), most teeth aren't (whitening) etc. etc. etc.

[teenerz]

So when people see fluffed out ends, or hair that's been a little windblown, the conclusion is that her hair is a disaster. Seriously? People go outside and move around, this is not shocking.

Exactly! It's so crazy.

[chen bao jun]

Every thing in Hollywood is fake, from their hair to their boobs to their (two-minute) marriages.
Fashion models are also photoshopped.
But there is such a thing as real natural good looks and real, natural long hair which is more beautiful to me than fake, even if less 'perfect'.
and this forum shows that many of us can have, with time and patience and some work, beautiful REAL long hair.

[dulce]

I was at Cosco the other day,walked by 2 ladies,who were both standing there,staring at my hair.As I passed,one said to the other''that's not real hair,it's extensions'' in a very loud voice.Extensions are so prevalent that people cannot recognize or even believe past waist still be grown naturally.

[ProverbsGirl]

I guess I was just kind of let down because this girl is on a reality show, and her hair always appeared very natural. So I figured it was real. Then she had it up and there was not enough of it to be that long..so I thought..oh she cut it. Then it was down and long again. That is what tipped me off. I don't make a habit of comparing myself to models or actresses,(and I wasn't) I just honestly thought her was real...and considered it an inspiration. Just a bit let down to know she was faking it. Lol Oh well.

[Foxylocks]

I know how you feel. Many famous people, and even people are not famous wear extensions. I am occasionally concerned that when my hair is very long, people will assume I have very long extensions.

[monsoonstorm]

Yesterday I saw some hair that completely confounded me... It was black and in the long thick spirals that you can get by curling around an iron... But it just looked so plastic! At first I though wig, but her hair was quite thin and the scalp was easily visible between the curl partitions. Then I thought extensions, but it was too short/thin for those. She must have used a ton of hairspray and goodness knows what else to get those immobile weird looking perfect large spirals in her hair.

I guess some people will happily spend an hour in the bathroom making their hair look plastic... I have no idea how she did it or why. She probably mistook my gawking for looks of admiration too. No issues with flyways in the wind there though!

[DweamGoiL]

I had this happen to me, too. I had a new coworker with BSL hair and it was very pretty. A few weeks later, she came into work with her hair above shoulders and I complimented her on her new haircut. She looked at me as if I had 2 heads. She then told me she had her Summer extensions taken out. I did feel somewhat miffed to be fooled, but hey, whatever floats her boat!

[chen bao jun]

This actually sounds like a back handed compliment of sorts. Your hair looks so good that they have to reassure themselves that its not real, and that they say it out loud meaning you to hear shows jealousy, which is obnoxious but also the flip side of admiration for some nasty people.
You do have perfectly beautiful hair.

I was at Cosco the other day,walked by 2 ladies,who were both standing there,staring at my hair.As I passed,one said to the other''that's not real hair,it's extensions'' in a very loud voice.Extensions are so prevalent that people cannot recognize or even believe past waist still be grown naturally.

[dulce]

Thanks CHEN,But I think it was more of ..she's so old she couldn't possibly have hair that long ..it must be fake ,thinking.Nice of you to say what you did though..thanks!

[koolkittychick]

Unfortunately extensions are the norm, not the exception, in the entertainment industry. I was watching a show with celebrity stylists, and one of them said that 99% of celebrities who have hair are wearing extensions, and the rest are wearing a pixie. Whether it's for length, thickness, or both, even the stars with long hair have some pieces up in their stuff, so if you want to admire authentic, grows-out-of-their-head hair, your best best is to stick to LHC ladies. :(

[Lirona]

Extensions are so prevalent that people cannot recognize or even believe past waist still be grown naturally.

I agree. People forgetting what natural hair actually looks like is the biggest shame, to me. It's sort of like body types - there are so many beautiful, healthy shapes, but only a handful are represented (glorified) in the media.

[MeowScat]

Sometimes I google Crystal Gayle hair pics to inspire me to keep growing. Or YouTube videos. Seeing her on stage with her hair swaying is awe-inspiring.

[florenonite]

No I can't really relate to this feeling. I don't see why I should feel let down by the hair extentions of others; it's their free choice to wear them, and it can still be inspirational. Some may not be very natural or realistic looking (especially in thickness), but the length can still be an inspiration to grow your own hair out.


This, particularly the bolded. It's no different from when people say the hair in the LOTR films are inspirational - you know, the ones where everyone's wearing a wig? :lol:

[MonaMayfair]

I look at this completely differently. I was saying on another thread how I get asked if I wear colored contacts because my eyes are (naturally) a striking shade of green. I've also been asked if I wear extensions and false eyelashes quite often (I don't)
I think it's wonderful that people with sparse eyelashes, less showy eyecolors and shorter hair can improve those things instantly though. Also makeup for perfect skin, padded bras or implants if they want bigger breasts, butt pads if they want a bigger butt, those compression things (shape wear??) if they want to look thinner.
Anything fake is fine with me and I love the fact it all exists. I don't see why people should be forced to be unhappy with their looks if they can easily enhance them :(

I have found it odd on this site though, that a lot of people say they don't like extensions and then seem really unaware of how many people wear them (on threads like "which actresses hair do you admire" or whatever) It shows that extensions usually do look perfectly convincing if they're done properly.

[sarahthegemini]

It would be great if celebrities showed the world what their hair actually looks like in its natural state. Maybe then, thick and full hair won't be seen as the only 'norm' and thin hair won't get slated for being ugly :-/

[jeanniet]

It would be great if celebrities showed the world what their hair actually looks like in its natural state. Maybe then, thick and full hair won't be seen as the only 'norm' and thin hair won't get slated for being ugly :-/

People don't want to see celebrities in their natural state, even if they say they do. They'd get heaps of criticism ("How can they go out looking like that?") and it could affect their ability to get jobs. Not fair, maybe, but their profession is to create a fantasy world. In any case, since so often they have to wreck their hair for roles, asking them to go out in public with their hair looking bad isn't really fair. None of us wants to be out and about with our hair looking bad! The real problem is even considering that how celebrities look is "normal," because it's so obviously a created look. The other problem is believing that everyone should look the same, instead of enjoying all the differences. I love looking at anything from 1a/F/i to 4c/C/iii. What a bland world this would be if we were all the same.

[DweamGoiL]

People don't want to see celebrities in their natural state, even if they say they do. They'd get heaps of criticism ("How can they go out looking like that?") and it could affect their ability to get jobs. Not fair, maybe, but their profession is to create a fantasy world. In any case, since so often they have to wreck their hair for roles, asking them to go out in public with their hair looking bad isn't really fair. None of us wants to be out and about with our hair looking bad! The real problem is even considering that how celebrities look is "normal," because it's so obviously a created look. The other problem is believing that everyone should look the same, instead of enjoying all the differences. I love looking at anything from 1a/F/i to 4c/C/iii. What a bland world this would be if we were all the same.

This is ALL soooooooo true. I once watched a documentary on marketing and how it shapes women's perceptions of what a woman's body should look like. They had several plus size models not touched up in a swimsuit mail catalog and got feedback from the people they sent it to. Guess what? No one wanted to buy the bathing suits from the models that were not airbrushed. People want to buy into the fantasy.

Same thing with pant and dress sizes. In the US, sizes are about 2 larger than they are in Europe. So a 10 here is really an 8 there and so forth. Why is that....if a size is a size? Because we want to believe we are thinner than we really are. No one wants to be told they are fat even if the mirror plainly shows them that they are.

Who wants to buy bras from the flat chested model? so on and so on.

As Jeanniet stated, the real issue here is realizing that we are losing our anchored in reality perception of what is normal, and buying in way too much into the fantasy.

[jeanniet]

This is ALL soooooooo true. I once watched a documentary on marketing and how it shapes women's perceptions of what a woman's body should look like. They had several plus size models not touched up in a swimsuit mail catalog and got feedback from the people they sent it to. Guess what? No one wanted to buy the bathing suits from the models that were not airbrushed. People want to buy into the fantasy.

Same thing with pant and dress sizes. In the US, sizes are about 2 larger than they are in Europe. So a 10 here is really an 8 there and so forth. Why is that....if a size is a size? Because we want to believe we are thinner than we really are. No one wants to be told they are fat even if the mirror plainly shows them that they are.

Who wants to buy bras from the flat chested model? so on and so on.

As Jeanniet stated, the real issue here is realizing that we are losing our anchored in reality perception of what is normal, and buying in way too much into the fantasy.

It's nothing new, though. Current media pushes it in our faces more because we're so dependent on it, but it's pretty much been the same throughout history. Court fashions were dictated by the highest ranking members of society, for example. We like to blame it on modern marketing, and it's true that it's rampant now, but wanting to be one of the "beautiful people" has existed for centuries, tied into economics and social status as well as physical attractiveness. You're right, though, the fantasy is there because we want it. We don't want to want it, but we do.

[chen bao jun]

However, on this forum there is a lot of beautiful hair that is real.
Some of us prefer reality even when it is not perfect (it never is).
I learned this from someone very wise once. they said I was beautiful and like, most women, I started listing all of my perceived faults. the person looked at me and said quietly, I said you were beautiful--not perfect.
That's when I realized its not the same thing and that you're allowed to have flaws.

[florenonite]

Same thing with pant and dress sizes. In the US, sizes are about 2 larger than they are in Europe. So a 10 here is really an 8 there and so forth. Why is that....if a size is a size? Because we want to believe we are thinner than we really are. No one wants to be told they are fat even if the mirror plainly shows them that they are.


I think you're thinking of UK sizes, not standard European; continental European sizes are totally different from US/UK. A US or UK 10 is somewhere around the 40 range on the continent. That being said, UK sizes are the higher numbers (which I think is what you meant by wanting to believe you're thinner than you are), so a UK 8 is like a US 2, and a US 10 is a UK 16 or so.

[chen bao jun]

No one should base their perception of their weight on dress sizes, its a joke.
By staying exactly the same in weght between 1990 and now I've gone from size 12 to size 4 or 6 pants.
My size 14 dresses from back then are quite a few of them SMALLER than my current size 6's.
On the same day I've shopped in the same store and bought x-small, medium and large shirts that all fit exactly the same, from different manufacturers. And none of them were stretch fabric.
I truly believe that manufacturers put whatever label on a piece of clothing that it takes to sell it to women.
Unfortunately we will never see women's clothing labelled like men's with your actual waist size or other measurements in inches, making it really really difficult to shop for women's clothes.

[chen bao jun]

Yeah, this is great, except the time comes when you have to take it all off and what's left?
A big pile of insecurity and lack of confidence.
I myself don't think that less showy eyecolors and shorter hair need 'improvement' and nobody is forced to be unhappy with their looks--they shouldn't be unhappy with their looks because they don't resemble the latest Kim Kardashian or whoever the flavor of the month currently is.

I look at this completely differently. I was saying on another thread how I get asked if I wear colored contacts because my eyes are (naturally) a striking shade of green. I've also been asked if I wear extensions and false eyelashes quite often (I don't)
I think it's wonderful that people with sparse eyelashes, less showy eyecolors and shorter hair can improve those things instantly though. Also makeup for perfect skin, padded bras or implants if they want bigger breasts, butt pads if they want a bigger butt, those compression things (shape wear??) if they want to look thinner.
Anything fake is fine with me and I love the fact it all exists. I don't see why people should be forced to be unhappy with their looks if they can easily enhance them :(

I have found it odd on this site though, that a lot of people say they don't like extensions and then seem really unaware of how many people wear them (on threads like "which actresses hair do you admire" or whatever) It shows that extensions usually do look perfectly convincing if they're done properly.

[chen bao jun]

I get asked if I wear colored contacts, too by the way, because you don't usually see greeny yellow eyes on black people. I never thought it meant anything one way or the other, except that its unusual, to me its not better looking that other people's dark eyes. My husband has huge puppy dark brown eyes and that's why I married him and I wouldn't want him to start wearing green contacts and looking--well, fake and silly and dissatisfied with himself.

[florenonite]

No one should base their perception of their weight on dress sizes, its a joke.
By staying exactly the same in weght between 1990 and now I've gone from size 12 to size 4 or 6 pants.
My size 14 dresses from back then are quite a few of them SMALLER than my current size 6's.
On the same day I've shopped in the same store and bought x-small, medium and large shirts that all fit exactly the same, from different manufacturers. And none of them were stretch fabric.
I truly believe that manufacturers put whatever label on a piece of clothing that it takes to sell it to women.
Unfortunately we will never see women's clothing labelled like men's with your actual waist size or other measurements in inches, making it really really difficult to shop for women's clothes.

Even that's not foolproof; I've got two pairs of jeans in the same waist/inseam measurements from the same store and one pair's looser than the other. I think part of the issue with women's sizing is that a) we often wear trousers several inches below the natural waist and b) two women with, say, 30" waists could have several inches' difference in their hip sizes.

[neko_kawaii]

Even that's not foolproof; I've got two pairs of jeans in the same waist/inseam measurements from the same store and one pair's looser than the other. I think part of the issue with women's sizing is that a) we often wear trousers several inches below the natural waist and b) two women with, say, 30" waists could have several inches' difference in their hip sizes.

Oof, I wouldn't want to wear pants at my natural waist which is right at the bottom of my ribs!

On the topic of clothing sizes, I was chatting with the proprietor of my favorite dress shop who says that many times she has women try something on, it fits well but then they notice the size on the label and tell her they don't wear that size and hand it back either asking for the size they think they wear or walking out of the store. She laughed and said many a time she has cut off size labels and handed the item back and they have happily bought it.

[tbonita]

I think that what you describe is rather healthy. Facing reality is a good thing. You don't have to chase the illusion anymore and spend untold hundreds of dollars on "hair care" products. I taught my daughters to check the film editing of movies and television. You don't see that what goes on between edits is makeup and hairstylists descending on the stars and fixing every hair that might have been moved out of place. Nobody looks that perfect in real life, with real hair.
My feelings exactly- in relation to my children (I have one of each). They're real young yet but they watch these 'teen nick' etc shows where everyone is *perfect* (down to the waist-long extensions), and I need to convey to my daughter that this is not what real beauty is/shouldn't use this as a normal standard; equally important is to teach my son that these 'beautiful women' he sees are not REAL WOMEN!! He has a solid background in my husband and I.. I just hope we exert some influence over dear
Daughter's self esteem and dear son's choice in a partner one day...

[sarahthegemini]

People don't want to see celebrities in their natural state, even if they say they do. They'd get heaps of criticism ("How can they go out looking like that?") and it could affect their ability to get jobs. Not fair, maybe, but their profession is to create a fantasy world. In any case, since so often they have to wreck their hair for roles, asking them to go out in public with their hair looking bad isn't really fair. None of us wants to be out and about with our hair looking bad! The real problem is even considering that how celebrities look is "normal," because it's so obviously a created look. The other problem is believing that everyone should look the same, instead of enjoying all the differences. I love looking at anything from 1a/F/i to 4c/C/iii. What a bland world this would be if we were all the same.The bit bolded - that's a total generalisation, you can't speak for everyone ... and I never said anything about celebs having bad hair and thus it being unfair for them to show it off. I said they should show their natural hair, whether it's good or bad depends on whether they take care of it. And whether they do or don't, that's up to them but I don't want to see Cheryl Cole with her abundance of extensions all the time. Especially when we're told it's all natural ... If somebody choses to wear extensions or not is fine by me but don't lie through your (general you) teeth and try to convince the world that that's your own head of hair.
This is ALL soooooooo true. I once watched a documentary on marketing and how it shapes women's perceptions of what a woman's body should look like. They had several plus size models not touched up in a swimsuit mail catalog and got feedback from the people they sent it to. Guess what? No one wanted to buy the bathing suits from the models that were not airbrushed. People want to buy into the fantasy.Same thing with pant and dress sizes. In the US, sizes are about 2 larger than they are in Europe. So a 10 here is really an 8 there and so forth. Why is that....if a size is a size? Because we want to believe we are thinner than we really are. No one wants to be told they are fat even if the mirror plainly shows them that they are.Who wants to buy bras from the flat chested model? so on and so on.As Jeanniet stated, the real issue here is realizing that we are losing our anchored in reality perception of what is normal, and buying in way too much into the fantasy.Disagree completely. Not everybody wants to see the fake, airbrushed celebrities. It would do a world of good to stop having images plastered everywhere where every single feature has been messed with.

[DweamGoiL]

The bit bolded - that's a total generalisation, you can't speak for everyone ... and I never said anything about celebs having bad hair and thus it being unfair for them to show it off. I said they should show their natural hair, whether it's good or bad depends on whether they take care of it. And whether they do or don't, that's up to them but I don't want to see Cheryl Cole with her abundance of extensions all the time. Especially when we're told it's all natural ... If somebody choses to wear extensions or not is fine by me but don't lie through your (general you) teeth and try to convince the world that that's your own head of hair. Disagree completely. Not everybody wants to see the fake, airbrushed celebrities. It would do a world of good to stop having images plastered everywhere where every single feature has been messed with.

On principal, I agree with you sarahthegemini, but seeing it in actual hard economics. The bottom line is companies and businesses are out to make money. Beauty products and accessories are a HUGE market. There is alos a LOT of money to be made by exploiting women's insecurities. Why are face creams so popular, hair dye, weight loss products, etc? If the majority of shoppers want something, whether it's good, bad, nice, or totally despicable and immoral...that is what drives the market.

[kganihanova]

Ugh this. I used to be so jealous of Selena Gomez's hair until I realized that it was extensions and LOTS of heat styling to get that perfect wave. Realizing it was fake helped me accept my curl pattern :)

[jeanniet]

The bit bolded - that's a total generalisation, you can't speak for everyone ... and I never said anything about celebs having bad hair and thus it being unfair for them to show it off. I said they should show their natural hair, whether it's good or bad depends on whether they take care of it. And whether they do or don't, that's up to them but I don't want to see Cheryl Cole with her abundance of extensions all the time. Especially when we're told it's all natural ... If somebody choses to wear extensions or not is fine by me but don't lie through your (general you) teeth and try to convince the world that that's your own head of hair. Disagree completely. Not everybody wants to see the fake, airbrushed celebrities. It would do a world of good to stop having images plastered everywhere where every single feature has been messed with.

Of course it's a generalization. How on earth could I speak for everyone? No one can, of course. "Natural state" isn't just referring to hair, but to going out sans makeup, for another example. Most of the time I've ever seen anything in the media showing a celebrity in a more "realistic" state, it's been to criticize them for not looking like a star. As regards hair, because of their profession, chances are their hair is damaged in some way. So I find it quite understandable that they/anyone would not want to go out in public not looking good--but more particularly so with celebrities, because everyone is looking at them, and a good portion of the public would like to see them screw up. Why should it matter to me? I know most of it isn't real, and hell, plenty of "ordinary" women have hair that isn't real, and it doesn't have anything to do with celebrities. Look at all the LHC members who color their hair for all different kinds of reasons. Is it OK for them because they're not celebrities?

Not everybody wants to see fake celebrities, but the fact is that many people do. But I repeat, the real problem is buying into the celebrity hype in the first place.

[julee]

I agree. People forgetting what natural hair actually looks like is the biggest shame, to me. It's sort of like body types - there are so many beautiful, healthy shapes, but only a handful are represented (glorified) in the media.

I agree 100%. The media can have a huge influence on how people view their appearance, and often presents such a narrow range of 'ideals'. (Speaking for myself) I have compared myself many times to others, sometimes I find it hard to tell what is natural or enhanced. In reality there is a unique beauty found in all different types including hair. Healthy is beautiful, the wonderful, diverse heads of hair here on LHC prove this time and again :)

[monsoonstorm]

"Natural state" isn't just referring to hair, but to going out sans makeup, for another example. Most of the time I've ever seen anything in the media showing a celebrity in a more "realistic" state, it's been to criticize them for not looking like a star.

There seems to be a current trend for celebrities to be posting photo's "make-up free". I see makeup in every single one... Just because you didn't bother with layers of foundation and skipped the fake lashes doesn't mean you are makeup free. Eyeliner is makeup, mascara is makeup, lip gloss is makeup.

That's my own personal pet peeve on "fake celebrities" atm. If you are going to bare all, then bare all, don't just stick out a polished less made-up version of yourselves.

[chen bao jun]

Real people do this, too lol.
I can't count the times someone has said to me, I don't wear makeup, not really, just a little foundation or words of that type.
Often they say that and have on the whole deal and you can see it.
I have a friend who says she does nothing to her hair and is obviously bleached blonde and permed curly and teased--
I don't say anything, people get very defensive and angry.
But people have no idea what 'natural' is anymore. At least, many don't, I can't say, everybody.
But I don't judge them. I'm makeupless not by choice but because of allergies. If I could wear it, I might well do so, especially now that I am older, it makes me look less 'tired' if you know what I mean.
I just think its funny, the denial. I might well wear it, but I can't imagine saying I didn't. What difference does it make, really?

There seems to be a current trend for celebrities to be posting photo's "make-up free". I see makeup in every single one... Just because you didn't bother with layers of foundation and skipped the fake lashes doesn't mean you are makeup free. Eyeliner is makeup, mascara is makeup, lip gloss is makeup.

That's my own personal pet peeve on "fake celebrities" atm. If you are going to bare all, then bare all, don't just stick out a polished less made-up version of yourselves.

[trolleypup]

Unfortunately we will never see women's clothing labelled like men's with your actual waist size or other measurements in inches, making it really really difficult to shop for women's clothes.Never fear, mens' sizing, especially on the high end is vanity sizing. About the only place where the sizing is stable is industrial work clothes/uniforms.

[MonaMayfair]

Ugh this. I used to be so jealous of Selena Gomez's hair until I realized that it was extensions and LOTS of heat styling to get that perfect wave. Realizing it was fake helped me accept my curl pattern :)

Selena is my idol, I'm obsessed with her, and I can tell you that though she wears extensions a lot of the time (for length) she DOES have absolutely gorgeous thick hair and always has had.

[MonaMayfair]

Yeah, this is great, except the time comes when you have to take it all off and what's left?
A big pile of insecurity and lack of confidence.
I myself don't think that less showy eyecolors and shorter hair need 'improvement' and nobody is forced to be unhappy with their looks--they shouldn't be unhappy with their looks because they don't resemble the latest Kim Kardashian or whoever the flavor of the month currently is.

Haha, that's where cosmetic surgery is so awesome you don't have to take anything off! Kim Kardashian has had lots of stuff done anyway, she looks so different in the Bound 2 video I didn't recognize her!

[stachelbeere]

However, on this forum there is a lot of beautiful hair that is real.
Some of us prefer reality even when it is not perfect (it never is).
I learned this from someone very wise once. they said I was beautiful and like, most women, I started listing all of my perceived faults. the person looked at me and said quietly, I said you were beautiful--not perfect.
That's when I realized its not the same thing and that you're allowed to have flaws.

OH wow. that is so true. Thank you for writing this... :)

[Kaelee]

Real people do this, too lol.
I can't count the times someone has said to me, I don't wear makeup, not really, just a little foundation or words of that type.
Often they say that and have on the whole deal and you can see it.
I have a friend who says she does nothing to her hair and is obviously bleached blonde and permed curly and teased--
I don't say anything, people get very defensive and angry.
But people have no idea what 'natural' is anymore. At least, many don't, I can't say, everybody.
But I don't judge them. I'm makeupless not by choice but because of allergies. If I could wear it, I might well do so, especially now that I am older, it makes me look less 'tired' if you know what I mean.
I just think its funny, the denial. I might well wear it, but I can't imagine saying I didn't. What difference does it make, really?

I never understood the denial either. I never understood the offense if you DARE perceive a woman's hair color or texture as something other than natural (even when it's obvious. Hello, 2 inch roots!). How DARE you suggest she's wearing makeup. What's the big deal? My hair color isn't natural, and I don't pretend that it is. It's pretty, that's all that matters. There's nothing wrong with changing your hair color or texture, or wearing makeup.

Why deny it? There's no shame in it!

[jeanniet]

I think we're also only focusing on the negative aspects of media in portraying physical appearance. There are many, many positive portrayals as well, far more than there were when I was a kid. There are really good role models out there for girls/women--sports, business, politics--so why focus on people we know are there to create a fantasy?

[chen bao jun]

I think we're also only focusing on the negative aspects of media in portraying physical appearance. There are many, many positive portrayals as well, far more than there were when I was a kid. There are really good role models out there for girls/women--sports, business, politics--so why focus on people we know are there to create a fantasy?
I hate to have to say it, but there's a lot of illusion in these places, too. How many women athletes are doing performance enhancing drugs (running, weightlifting), or are anorexic to the point they don't menstruate (gymnasts) or get extra publicity even there for their looks (I forget the name of that not very tennis player we're always seeing). Business, I don't know so much, but politics--let's not even go there. the scandals that the newspapers don't report, or the things people take for granted, naming no names but some of the women who are quite famous and are supposed to be 'role models' have gotten rich going into politics in very suspicious ways and show no more care for their constituents than the men.
Not role models of mine
And I think you could also call it illusion.

[SThr]

On the topic of clothing sizes, I was chatting with the proprietor of my favorite dress shop who says that many times she has women try something on, it fits well but then they notice the size on the label and tell her they don't wear that size and hand it back either asking for the size they think they wear or walking out of the store. She laughed and said many a time she has cut off size labels and handed the item back and they have happily bought it.
I end up cutting off the size tags of most of my clothes. They're itchy and in what way is it helpful to see the size after I've bought it?

[morrigan*]

I end up cutting off the size tags of most of my clothes. They're itchy and in what way is it helpful to see the size after I've bought it?

Exactly this, i did once look, but i regret this, because sizes are so different within same brand, even same dress only different color is not same in size. I swear i won't do this again, if it fits and i like i will buy it, no matter what size it is.

[monsoonstorm]

I end up cutting off the size tags of most of my clothes. They're itchy and in what way is it helpful to see the size after I've bought it?

I find it helpful so that I know what size to get next time from that particular brand.

[Crumpet]

This thread is a truly interesting read. We have so many different perspectives on beauty and what it means for women today (we haven't said much about men!). One of the things I like best about the LHC is that people here are encouraging about us doing whatever we like with our own hair. Often, this encouragement helps women grow hair longer, give up hair dye, relaxers, perms, and other things that are consider 'normal' in society. I think this is highly positive. I also think its positive that when a member decides to cut or dye their hair, that we give them encouragement in their. This is also positive.

My main sadness is that this sort of positivity is not in the 'real world' and I wonder why that is so hard.

[jeanniet]

I hate to have to say it, but there's a lot of illusion in these places, too. How many women athletes are doing performance enhancing drugs (running, weightlifting), or are anorexic to the point they don't menstruate (gymnasts) or get extra publicity even there for their looks (I forget the name of that not very tennis player we're always seeing). Business, I don't know so much, but politics--let's not even go there. the scandals that the newspapers don't report, or the things people take for granted, naming no names but some of the women who are quite famous and are supposed to be 'role models' have gotten rich going into politics in very suspicious ways and show no more care for their constituents than the men.
Not role models of mine
And I think you could also call it illusion.

But again, that's only focusing on the negative. There are good role models out there, in public--maybe they're not as obvious because we're looking for the scandals, but they're there. If all we look for is the bad, then that's all we see. I choose not to do that.

[Angelica]

The original post was about extensions. I see no problem with them myself, so long as those wearing them are cautious regarding the damage they cause. The best extensions of course are the ones you can never tell are "fake." Cheryl Cole may, as one paper reported, wear more extensions than any other celebrity, but she is naturally beautiful with a figure to die for, and she does have nice hair naturally anyway. Still she wears make-up and extensions to enhance that appearance. The television is not kind to those who look less than "perfect." Actresses, models may resort to extensions because it is kinder to their natural hair to do so, better than blow drying and bleaching all the time. They have to change their appearance on regular basis. I see no problem with it. And I am sure there are many celebrities out there who sport their natural hair all the time and go "unnoticed" or criticised for being natural. It's all a matter of personal choice.

A comment was made regarding gymnasts. Well, in the days of Olga Korbut that statement may have been correct, now however it is not. The gymnasts tend to be older and much better built now.

[neko_kawaii]

This thread is a truly interesting read. We have so many different perspectives on beauty and what it means for women today (we haven't said much about men!). One of the things I like best about the LHC is that people here are encouraging about us doing whatever we like with our own hair. Often, this encouragement helps women grow hair longer, give up hair dye, relaxers, perms, and other things that are consider 'normal' in society. I think this is highly positive. I also think its positive that when a member decides to cut or dye their hair, that we give them encouragement in their. This is also positive.

My main sadness is that this sort of positivity is not in the 'real world' and I wonder why that is so hard.

This probably depends on who you are surrounded by. In my "real world" people are vocal advocates for positivity and self expression. I find the world portrayed in media to be abnormal and don't quite understand how people buy into it without realizing the subtext of what they are buying.

[Vanilla Mint]

No I can't really relate to this feeling. I don't see why I should feel let down by the hair extentions of others; it's their free choice to wear them, and it can still be inspirational. Some may not be very natural or realistic looking (especially in thickness), but the length can still be an inspiration to grow your own hair out.

I agree. It is pretty annoying when people insinuate that if my hair is long and thick, that it's probably extensions. That doesn't make me disappointed that other people choose to don extensions to make themselves feel beautiful. Many people enjoy having short hair most of the time, but then miss long hair and decide to go the extension route. It's not for me, but I can understand the versatility aspect.

I am equally annoyed with assertions like, "it's not her REAL hair, it's extensions/weave/etc," spoken in a derogatory manner. Can't we all just appreciate what makes us feel beautiful?

[Tini'sNewHair]

I know what you mean. I just started teaching myself to just admire and accept beauty the way it is, fake or not but most importantly, i have to accept myself the way i am to and do whatever makes me happy. Ive chosen to keep my hair long and natural but i do wear a bit of makeup because i like it! :)

[koolkittychick]

I agree. It is pretty annoying when people insinuate that if my hair is long and thick, that it's probably extensions. That doesn't make me disappointed that other people choose to don extensions to make themselves feel beautiful. Many people enjoy having short hair most of the time, but then miss long hair and decide to go the extension route. It's not for me, but I can understand the versatility aspect.

I am equally annoyed with assertions like, "it's not her REAL hair, it's extensions/weave/etc," spoken in a derogatory manner. Can't we all just appreciate what makes us feel beautiful?

I just get annoyed when the person wearing the "enhancements" insist it's their real hair, and then tries to cut you down because your hair is not the same length. I had a girl have the nerve to do that to me, and her extensions were not all that realistic to begin with. I had to learn her a couple of things about manners and trying to tear people down from a position of weakness before she saw the error of her ways and stopped messing with me and others. :rolleyes:

[DweamGoiL]

Personally, I find wearing extensions rather reprehensible when they are made from real human hair. Where are they coming from? There is so much exploitation of the poor and innocent worldwide in that industry. It really is disgusting...I'm sorry!

Most people don't want to wear synthetic extensions because they look fake. I don't see what the big deal is if you want to wear hair that isn't yours if it actually looks like what it is.

[monsoonstorm]

Personally, I find wearing extensions rather reprehensible when they are made from real human hair. Where are they coming from? There is so much exploitation of the poor and innocent worldwide in that industry. It really is disgusting...I'm sorry!

Most people don't want to wear synthetic extensions because they look fake. I don't see what the big deal is if you want to wear hair that isn't yours if it actually looks like what it is.

Reminds me of a book I read recently:

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry

An excellent book, made me cry. Completely OT I know, but definitely recommended. Not a happy book though! It's set in India and one of the characters collects hair to sell.

[DweamGoiL]

Reminds me of a book I read recently:

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry

An excellent book, made me cry. Completely OT I know, but definitely recommended. Not a happy book though! It's set in India and one of the characters collects hair to sell.

Thanks! I am always looking for good books to read :)

[koolkittychick]

Personally, I find wearing extensions rather reprehensible when they are made from real human hair. Where are they coming from? There is so much exploitation of the poor and innocent worldwide in that industry. It really is disgusting...I'm sorry!
I totally agree with you on this. To me, it would be the same as if you glued someone's nail clippings onto your own nails to make them look longer. :puke: Unfortunately, many women are so insecure about their own hair that they will do anything to not have to deal with it, and if they can do it in a way as to avoid detection of the ruse (i.e., using human hair), they will. :shrug:

[leslissocool]

I never understood the denial either. I never understood the offense if you DARE perceive a woman's hair color or texture as something other than natural (even when it's obvious. Hello, 2 inch roots!). How DARE you suggest she's wearing makeup. What's the big deal? My hair color isn't natural, and I don't pretend that it is. It's pretty, that's all that matters. There's nothing wrong with changing your hair color or texture, or wearing makeup.

Why deny it? There's no shame in it!

There is the other side of the coin too! I have abnormally long eyelashes, and I get asked ALL THE TIME if they are real, and many times I get a dubbious "Really?" back. To me foundation is easy because my face is shiny usually (even in pictures) and my pores are big, so you can totally tell I'm bare faced, and I wear dark eyeliner so yeah I can't deny that, but eyelashes? I don't wear mascara because of that (and the fact that I can't blink while it's drying because they touch below my eyebrows and under my eyes and leave marks).

It gets REALLY old, really fast.


I get the "she has extensions" comments a lot, I did when I had that horrible fake blonde that fried my hair and now when my hair it's down. It's a bit of an insult when some swears they are AMAZING at telling extensions and they THINK yours is. No, you aren't "good" at spotting extensions because my hair is natural. It's like somehow, my hair not being natural makes them FEEL better about themselves or something, and that's really annoying to me.