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View Full Version : Any Fineys Who Were Discouraged to Grow Your Hair Long?



DweamGoiL
November 30th, 2013, 12:08 PM
I was reading on another thread about a couple of posters who were describing that because they have fine hair they either believed they could not grow strong long healthy hair or other people commented that they did not believe fine hair could be grown really long. I must admit I heard these discouraging words myself as I grew out my hair, but I am here to prove them all wrong ;)

Back in 2003, I grew my hair to TBL, then had a baby and in 2005 cut it to above shoulders. Now, I am inching my way down to waist again:

http://i987.photobucket.com/albums/ae360/dweamgoil/Long%20Hair%202003%20to%20Now/GM%20Jul%202003/GM071003b4_zps001aabcc.jpg (http://s987.photobucket.com/user/dweamgoil/media/Long%20Hair%202003%20to%20Now/GM%20Jul%202003/GM071003b4_zps001aabcc.jpg.html)

Anyone other fineys want to chime in?

durgidog
November 30th, 2013, 01:28 PM
I've never been told I couldn't grow my hair long, in fact as a kid it was about hip for a few years (mom would not allow me to cut it). But for the past 20 years or so I've ALWAYS cut when it gets just past shoulder. At just a few inches past SL my hair looks all scraggly in back - my nape hair is all stick straight and my canopy is whirly, so it looks really thin in back unless all of my hair is behind my shoulders. Drives me nuts but I am persevering. Hats, scarves, and bandanas help a lot.

Crumpet
November 30th, 2013, 02:26 PM
Yes. I've often been discouraged to grow long hair. Friends even now tell me to cut it to BSL or higher. I think that's one of the reasons why I've always been shy about showing my hair on the LHC. I worry that it doesn't look very good, but I love having it long.

LauraLongLocks
November 30th, 2013, 02:32 PM
In my youth, I never wore my hair longer than APL. It was always between a pixie and APL. Any longer than APL and it would get very split, and fairy-tale, and looked quite stringy. My mom also has had short hair as long as I can remember, and her hair is even less voluminous than mine. She didn't know how to care for fine hair, except to perm it and keep it short. She erroneously believed she couldn't grow her hair out, and that caused me to believe the same about myself. I didn't know then that in order to have beautiful long hair, I would need to protect those ends and get microtrims to keep a fairly blunt hemline for it to look good. Now that I know that, I have beautiful long hair, the longest I've ever had. My hemline is thick (about as thick as I am capable of growing, I have just a few layers left in the bottom 2-3 inches) and doesn't look stringy at all. I wear my hair up most of the time to protect my ends, and I'm happier with my hair than ever before.

jacqueline101
November 30th, 2013, 03:05 PM
In my younger days I was told by people I shouldn't grow out my hair due to it being fine. They said it would look stringy and unkempt. I did grow it out as a teen but I never took care of it. Then I tried to grow it out in my mid 20's. I did take care of my hair a little better. Then I joined on here. I've really started taking care of my hair.

Rio040113
November 30th, 2013, 03:36 PM
My hair is fine and when it was thicker no one ever said anything about me keeping it long. Now my hair is fine and thin, people seem to have a lot to say and about 99% of it gets ignored, if you know what I mean :lol: Maybe one day people (outside of the LHC) will understand the regrowth process :rolleyes:

FireFromWithin
November 30th, 2013, 03:42 PM
My hair is fine and looks even finer because it's blonde. When I was younger my hairdresser always used to tell me I couldn't grow my hair any longer because it was getting a triangle shape at the bottom. It took me a long time to realise that fethered styles always grow out into that shape. I'm still only at waist but I have a nice even thick hemline and my hair is better than ever. Silly hairdresser (although not as bad as the assistant in the hair product shop who'd been taught that shampoo and conditioner had to have sulphates and cones but that's another story entirely). I don't think fine hair is a problem when growing hair except that it seems to be more easily damaged so we fine haired peeps need to be extra especially careful - sorry if that doesn't make sense, I start exams in 2 days and my mind is fried.

blue_eyes
November 30th, 2013, 04:04 PM
I've got very straight, fine, thin hair and have never had anyone tell me that I couldn't grow it long. Actually, I've had a number of stylists tell me they find thin hair very strong and durable. I'd done horrendous things to my hair over the years and for a long time it held up very well! :S

AspenSong
November 30th, 2013, 04:22 PM
I was always discouraged specifically by my Grandmother and Aunt - and encouraged to cut. Anything longer than shoulder length in their opinion, looked "stringy" on me.
I gave in when I was about 17 and had about TBL hair and cut it into a short shag. The last time I visited my Grandma my hair was about waist - nearly 2 years ago now and she was once again, irked by it. However I'm now old enough I don't give a flippity do da. lol.

duchess67
November 30th, 2013, 04:41 PM
I have layers in my hair so whenever my hair grew longer than BSL, I always thought it looked quite thin at the bottom. Then I would go and get it cut again till SL. Seeing pictures of beautiful long hair fineys here has inspired me to grow my hair longer. I have started putting my hair up in a bun most of the time. When I leave my hair open I feel self conscious about my tapered ends. No more salon visits, going to micro trim myself to get rid of the layers once it hits waist. Learning a lot from LHC :)

stachelbeere
November 30th, 2013, 04:59 PM
Totally, yes.

My hair is over an inch past APL now and it has never ever been that long, ever. When I was a little girl I had it cut into a bob all the time - I've always wanted to have long hair but I was never let to grow it long. I guess it must be easier to care for short hair + fringe in a child when you're a busy mum. Then, when I was a teenager I would never be able to get through the awkward stage and my hair would always be either damaged, triangle shaped, tapered or all together. I never liked it, it just never looked good long I thought, felt awful and got it cut. I was in this type vicious circle for over 15 years or so.

I remember when I was telling a hairstylist how I'd love to have long hair and how it never worked out for me and so on - he told me that he had a client whose hair never went past chin... that made me sad as I thought I had a short terminal length. I guess that girl must have really abused her hair and got trims and all so yeah, it never grew, logically!

It doesn't help when I really look good with short hair and everybody tells me that!!! Argh. I should definitely get myself a fringe + face framing layers, but I'm just so hesitant.

DweamGoiL I wanted to thank you for one thing - in a thread a few weeks ago you mentioned Monoi oil. On a whim I bought it. I LOVE the scent so much... it's divine. To be honest, I don't really see a difference between Monoi oil and cold-pressed coconut oil though. But the fragrance... mmmh. I wish it lasted longer on my skin :)

DweamGoiL
November 30th, 2013, 05:08 PM
DweamGoiL I wanted to thank you for one thing - in a thread a few weeks ago you mentioned Monoi oil. On a whim I bought it. I LOVE the scent so much... it's divine. To be honest, I don't really see a difference between Monoi oil and cold-pressed coconut oil though. But the fragrance... mmmh. I wish it lasted longer on my skin :)

To be honest, I have never tried the cold-pressed kind. I was introduced to Monoi Oil and it worked so very well for me that I just never bothered to try cold-pressed :) And yes, the yummy scent does have a lot to do with it. I am glad you liked it. I also want to say that I think your hair at this length is VERY pretty and you should definitely continue to let it grow out. It's very rewarding to find out what your hair can look like instead of having only to imagine it.

LauraLongLocks
November 30th, 2013, 06:57 PM
It doesn't help when I really look good with short hair and everybody tells me that!!! Argh. I should definitely get myself a fringe + face framing layers, but I'm just so hesitant.

I can relate! I *do* look cute with my hair short, but I think I look beautiful/graceful/elegant with it long. When I chopped my hair back to a pixie in 2008 (from BSL+), so many people told me I looked 10 years younger and so cute, and how nicely it framed my face. Ugh! No!!! :lala: La la, I can't hear you! It's nice, but it's not how I want to look. About the fringe and framing layers. When my hair was about your length, I got blunt-cut bangs, layers and it was framed. I liked it for about a week (or less?). I still love the bangs, but all the layers did was shred my braids as my hair got longer, and so now I'm growing them out. If I had it to do over again, when I got to that boring length, I would have done some demi or semi-permanent coloring, or even some hair chalk, just to do something different. Maybe something a little more constructive, like cassia or henna. I don't know. Since I have bangs, I can experiment with them, putting streaks in them, and not damage my length at all. So, I'm keeping that as an option if I get to another boring spot with my hair. All this to say, really, really think about those framing layers and bangs before you do it. A lot of people regret bangs or layers as their hair gets longer and those pieces poke out everywhere.

ThatOneMermaid
November 30th, 2013, 07:51 PM
I wouldn't go so far as to say discouraged, but I've definitely recently been paying uber attention to how my ends look in a mirror shot, even how the ends feel collectively, and I'd say I'm not super happy with him. They feel pretty thin :(
However, I do have layers. Dumbest hair decision (for me) ever. I think I've been off and on with layers since about 4th grade, after I got my waist-length or so hair chopped to the nape of my neck in 3rd grade. My current plan is to get to classic, maintain there for a year or two, and then grow to knee-length (that is, if it doesn't reach terminal first!).
I'm so jealous of my mom, though! She had classic length hair back when she was pregnant with me, up until I was about 8 years old. She didn't know about heat protectants or only needing to shampoo the roots, not the whole length, or any of that. She says she blow-dried after every shower which was daily, maybe every other day, she bleached her hair in the 80s and got a perm, and now colors her hair regularly, half the time using box dye, the other half going to her stylist. She has a hair mask for in-the-shower use, but I'm aware that stuff like that only masks the damage. What gets me is that she did all of that to her hair, whereas I rarely use heat and when I do, I use a fairly good amount of heat protectant, I use a pretty hefty amount of coney condish on my hair, I don't shampoo my hair every day, and I generally take good care of my hair, yet her hair feels at least twice as thick as mine. She has F/M hair as well, she must have twice as much as I do. *sigh*

Sorry for the rant post!

Eden Iris
November 30th, 2013, 09:43 PM
Oh, yeah, lots of people, including hair stylists and well-meaning acquaintances, have informed me that I need to keep it APL or shorter. After I hit 40, they felt a lot bolder about telling me, if you know what I mean. I've also had stylists tell me 1) I have to keep it in layers, which will give it volume (WTF?); and 2) I absolutely positively have to blowdry to get any thickness. Now I cut my own hair and let it air dry, and my hair and self esteem are both much healthier.

Flor
December 1st, 2013, 12:46 AM
This "you have fine hair, it looks bad long" have been hardwired into my head so well, so when I first came to this forum, I expected I would get shushed out if I dare to admit that my hair is fine and I'm still growing it out :D It was such a relief to find photos of fine/thin gorgeous long hair here and to learn that not only people with straight thick hair are "allowed" to grow it long, and enjoy it, and feel proud of it.

MandyBeth
December 1st, 2013, 02:05 AM
I'm one of the fineys who can't grow long hair. Even with LHC care, past shoulder goes to hell. But, it's because my hair is prone to hell.

1 - Very literally, it's cat fine. There's an old, old thread on how to measure your hair via laser. I'm equal to my cats.

2 - Auto immune hell. Several of my alphabet soup issues tend to easily damage and dry out hair. These lead to...

3 - Medication. Some has very clear damage, which causes light colored banding. Others cause very slow growth.

So, take hair that's extremely fine, add in damage that can't be controlled or realistically prevented (I can stop the banding and growth suppression drugs, but then my immune system would kill me in a matter of days) with extremely slow growth - well, short wins. Long hair is impossible for me.

However, just because I prove the rule - well, that means if I can't grow length proves why the rule really shouldn't apply to 99.7% of the fine haired population.

Meh. I still hang around, have a mid back curly, knee pulled wavy haired daughter. I have no idea what I'm doing with her hair most of the time. Or ever really.

stachelbeere
December 1st, 2013, 03:46 AM
To be honest, I have never tried the cold-pressed kind. I was introduced to Monoi Oil and it worked so very well for me that I just never bothered to try cold-pressed :) And yes, the yummy scent does have a lot to do with it. I am glad you liked it. I also want to say that I think your hair at this length is VERY pretty and you should definitely continue to let it grow out. It's very rewarding to find out what your hair can look like instead of having only to imagine it.

Oh thank you! I will definitely continue growing, at least to waist if my hair lets me. Your hair on the other hand looks so incredibly full and shiny and not fine at all - maybe because of your dark hair colour. I couldn't believe that you have fine hair when I read it :)


Cold-pressed coconut oil also has a wonderful, coconutty smell. By accident I melted the two oils together in one small container once, it mixed into a nice and soothing fragrance mixture. I wonder if I mixed melted monoi oil with alcohol I'd get perfume from that.


I can relate! I *do* look cute with my hair short, but I think I look beautiful/graceful/elegant with it long. When I chopped my hair back to a pixie in 2008 (from BSL+), so many people told me I looked 10 years younger and so cute, and how nicely it framed my face. Ugh! No!!! :lala: La la, I can't hear you! It's nice, but it's not how I want to look. About the fringe and framing layers. When my hair was about your length, I got blunt-cut bangs, layers and it was framed. I liked it for about a week (or less?). I still love the bangs, but all the layers did was shred my braids as my hair got longer, and so now I'm growing them out. If I had it to do over again, when I got to that boring length, I would have done some demi or semi-permanent coloring, or even some hair chalk, just to do something different. Maybe something a little more constructive, like cassia or henna. I don't know. Since I have bangs, I can experiment with them, putting streaks in them, and not damage my length at all. So, I'm keeping that as an option if I get to another boring spot with my hair. All this to say, really, really think about those framing layers and bangs before you do it. A lot of people regret bangs or layers as their hair gets longer and those pieces poke out everywhere.

I'm pretty sure that if I cut my hair short everybody would love it, especially my mom. My current boyfriend met me when I had a great short 'do and curled my hair with a curling iron. And for the longest time he used to say that he loved my dark brown hair colour and how he liked me with my short hair - although he is really supportive with everything I do with my hair. I think now, that my hair is a certain length he likes it a lot really.


Nowadays I get the 'your hair is long' phrase - I'm loving it :) but I wonder if there could be a way of recreating the 'cute' factor with long hair - I like to pin my hair away from my face, I also like it wavy and curly but I don't have these loose shorter strands around my face - I'm wondering if it would help 'soften the look' if I had them.



So, take hair that's extremely fine, add in damage that can't be controlled or realistically prevented (I can stop the banding and growth suppression drugs, but then my immune system would kill me in a matter of days) with extremely slow growth - well, short wins. Long hair is impossible for me.

However, just because I prove the rule - well, that means if I can't grow length proves why the rule really shouldn't apply to 99.7% of the fine haired population.


oh, it sounds like all odds are against you :( Are you still trying to grow it long? So how long has your hair been when it was at its longest, I wonder?

littlerobot
December 1st, 2013, 09:16 AM
My mom used to cut my hair really short and would tell me I just couldn't grow my hair long.
Turns out I can.
I spent a lot of time crying because I was mistaken for a boy all the time.

Actually, I was on a kids show once and the show host thought I was a boy. When I informed him I was, in fact, a girl, he made fun of me and asked where my hair was.
When I watched the recording later, I saw they added the words "SARA IS A GIRL!!!" above my head. Like it was so unbelievable.
I was 6, you *******s! It was humiliating. It still is.

OH WELL BRB GROWING BEAUTIFUL LOCKS :queen:

lapushka
December 1st, 2013, 10:10 AM
Another F one, who once had classic length (as a young kid). I am mostly at waist now (or thereabouts). It seems easier for me as I have iii hair, so hair dressers never broached the topic with me - ever.

swearnsue
December 1st, 2013, 10:59 AM
Any hair longer than the bottom of my ear lobes drives my mother crazy. She rants and raves about how stringy and awful it looks. So I just bun it whenever I see her so she has no idea how long it is.

She complemented my Flexi-8 at thanksgiving dinner. (she just couldn't complement my hair of course, just the Flexi-8) LOL.

swearnsue
December 1st, 2013, 10:59 AM
Any hair longer than the bottom of my ear lobes drives my mother crazy. She rants and raves about how stringy and awful it looks. So I just bun it whenever I see her so she has no idea how long it is.

She complemented my Flexi-8 at thanksgiving dinner. (she just couldn't complement my hair of course, just the Flexi-8) LOL.

LauraLongLocks
December 1st, 2013, 11:07 AM
My mom used to cut my hair really short and would tell me I just couldn't grow my hair long.
Turns out I can.
I spent a lot of time crying because I was mistaken for a boy all the time.

Actually, I was on a kids show once and the show host thought I was a boy. When I informed him I was, in fact, a girl, he made fun of me and asked where my hair was.
When I watched the recording later, I saw they added the words "SARA IS A GIRL!!!" above my head. Like it was so unbelievable.
I was 6, you *******s! It was humiliating. It still is.

OH WELL BRB GROWING BEAUTIFUL LOCKS :queen:

Oh my gosh, I can't believe an adult would humiliate you like that. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I think it's WONDERFUL that you are able to grow your hair long!

AmyBeth
December 1st, 2013, 11:59 AM
A fairly common theme seems to be mothers urging daughters to cut. I wonder why. My mom complained about my hair a lot - "Why don't you DO something with it, it just HANGS there!" Like what's it supposed to do, remember this little thing called "gravity"? I spent most of my life not caring how thin and fine it is, I would far rather have had long, fine hair than short fine hair. I think when I turned 35 and began to feel a little insecure about my age, I finally caved to the "Older women need to cut their hair" pressure. I kept it between shoulder and APL for years and finally realized I was right, I liked long, thin, fine hair better than short, thin, fine hair. I wanted to get long as fast as possible, and my web searches brought me here. I have regained most of my original length a lot faster than it originally took, and it is healthier, shinier and thicker than ever. I had hoped that with the really good care that I learned here, I'd be able to grow it longer than what seemed to be my terminal length. I was never able to grow much past waist length and I've been stalled a waist for 4 months now, so I guess that's it. I'm sad about that, but I remind myself that it really looks so much better than ever. I marvel now that I really thought that there was something wrong with my hair because it is so fine. I realize now that fine is beautiful too!

TheWhiteRabbit
December 1st, 2013, 12:21 PM
My hair is super fine and takes forever to grow, which is discouraging enough without people saying things.

Wildcat Diva
December 1st, 2013, 12:27 PM
My mom used to cut my hair really short and would tell me I just couldn't grow my hair long.
Turns out I can.
I spent a lot of time crying because I was mistaken for a boy all the time.

Actually, I was on a kids show once and the show host thought I was a boy. When I informed him I was, in fact, a girl, he made fun of me and asked where my hair was.
When I watched the recording later, I saw they added the words "SARA IS A GIRL!!!" above my head. Like it was so unbelievable.
I was 6, you *******s! It was humiliating. It still is.

OH WELL BRB GROWING BEAUTIFUL LOCKS :queen:

This is the most terrible story. A pox on those unfortunate game show people. And well, you know what they say about Kharma.

Agnes Hannah
December 1st, 2013, 12:53 PM
I remember sitting in the hairdressers chair aged 9, my hair was just past shoulders, fine and thin, but I loved it. I begged the hairdresser not to cut too much off. My mum was with me. I came out with a pixie.
Am growing now to where I want it to be, maybe waist, longer if possible, if it will grow that far. Age or others opinions will not worry me anymore. If I have it cut again, it will be because I want to not because of other people. I have found that people here are very supportive as you guys know how I feel about hair.

Babyfine
December 1st, 2013, 12:57 PM
Yes all the time. Mostly I would get told that hair would look so much thicker and healthier if I kept it SL or shorter. Admittedly, my ends do start to really thin out past BSL. My current stylist, however, respects my desires and even helps to tell me when something would be damaging(like hi-lights). No one has said a word to me since I passed 50, however. I must be looking mean in my old age.

emilylightning
December 1st, 2013, 03:21 PM
I personally have never been discouraged because I kept my hair long when I was a child, and I always got compliments on it. [Honestly, I think most people don't realize that my hair is thin, come to think of it.]

My mother on the other hand claims her hair will never grow past BSL because it starts looking all stringy and thin. I'm 98% sure that's due to her hair choices, not her hair.

My little sister [the youngest one] has baby fine blonde hair. She's been constantly told she can't get it long. Her hair type is nothing like anyone else's in the family. The oldest sister made me come over to cut youngest's hair, but youngest just wanted a trim. I gave her a 1/4'' trim. The last time I saw her, she got her hair to APL even without proper care. She's only 11 and looks 7, so she's very small, and APL is only like 18'' or so on her [that's entirely estimation, I have no idea.] But I know that if she took better care of her hair she'd be able to grow it. Hopefully puberty will drastically change her hair type, especially if she still wants long hair.

DweamGoiL
December 1st, 2013, 04:09 PM
I am so sorry that so many of us have these horror stories to even share. It is really sad that wanting to grow out your hair can bring out such hurtful reactions. I, myself, also had a mom that cut my classic length hair into a pixie when I was about 8 or so. I got confused for a boy and was teased terribly in school. I was soooo relieved once I got older and was able to care for it myself. Through a lot of hard lessons, I did grow it out again in my 30's...that's what you see in the picture in my original post. I am glad all of you have persevered...doesn't it feel good? ;)

MandyBeth
December 1st, 2013, 06:50 PM
I've gotten to just shy of APL. It wasn't good at all. It was ok to maybe my shoulders - but I had my roots from stopping henna, my hair was evil from henna and I had white spots from pyrotechnics. So I lopped it back to a pixie. It's back to jaw or so with bangs.

Meh. Since I won't have the henna issues, I'll just keep it at shoulder unless I repeat pyrotechnics fun. Because somethings in life are worth a cute on me pixie.

ravenheather
December 1st, 2013, 06:56 PM
Count me in. My mom swears my hair will never grow to waist. My sister buys into it too. She says none of our hair will grow despite the fact that she had mbl hair as a teen the couple of years she didn't cut it.

MeowScat
December 1st, 2013, 07:38 PM
Wow, your hair is so beautiful! Thank you for starting a Finey post, it feels great to know I'm not alone. :)

I've been discouraged my entire life to grow my hair long because, "it's too thin" and "it'll be stringy". Because of those comments, I've tried many times to have short, layered, permed, color-treated hair to give it "body". It never worked. Once I stopped listening to my Mom, friends and hairdressers, I finally learned to appreciate my hair type. I wish I had learned to embrace it decades ago. It would have saved me a ton of money, time, stress and insecurity.

LauraLongLocks
December 1st, 2013, 08:00 PM
Because of those comments, I've tried many times to have short, layered, permed, color-treated hair to give it "body". It never worked.

WHYdo they always tell us that if we cut it short, layer it, perm it, or color it, that our fine hair will somehow have body? It seems like a theme for many of us here. We have been told our hair won't look good long, or won't grow long at all. Really? Well, I think mine looks better LONG than being totally stuck to my head like seaweed on a rock when I had a pixie. Layers? That just takes from my overall volume. Perms? Frizzy, scraggly, damaged messes that have to be kept short, or grown out and cut off. Color-treating? How many times can you do that without totally frying your hair? And just how does that make our hair seem fuller?

I never knew how much I could love my hair until now. I'm loving it more than ever before, and I've done all of the above^^. This hair that I have now, is the prettiest, most versatile, most manageable hair I've ever had in my life. I'm 37 years old today, and I'm almost flirting with waist-length hair. The only thing that would make my hair better is if it was LONGER.

MandyBeth
December 1st, 2013, 08:26 PM
Another reason I have never had long hair - I was a rowdy, active kid. I had an unmanageable amount of thickness and hated dealing with it. I had an undercut for YEARS and if it was down, I still had thick hair. Best guess is a good 3" diameter pony with the undercut.

I lost a good 40% from a PPD reaction. First time I ever didn't have an undercut. I could get a 4.75" pony then.

However, post radical spay, I lost a ton of thickness. I get a 2.5" pony now. Which doesn't help my ratty prone ends.

I loved my undercut! I could just run past my mom and she'd brush my mop out in a few seconds.

But, Mom just went with what we wanted. I wanted to play, I had easy to manage hair. My sister loved being ultra girly and would happily sit for a half hour to have nice, waist length loose curls. Had I wanted longer hair, it would have been fine.

So, I give my girls the same choices. Take care of your hair or let me help - you can have ultra long hair. She's also the vote on when to cut, I was willing to control her damaged hair, she'd just get tired of the tangles and pulling, so cut. Even then, she says where to cut, and that's what she gets. New princess - she wants to be able to brush, wash, ponytail her hair alone - she's 11, it's important to her. As she can't use her right arm, too long means she can't do much, if anything alone. Waist is her current maximum length. So we are just cutting the growth once every other week. Which makes her very happy because she can get up, take out her sleep braids, put her ponytail in, and she's done that all on her own, then brush her hair before her shower, wash her hair, then leave her hair down over her cape to dry. I put her braids in, but that's ok so she doesn't get lots of tangles at night that I have to get out.

MeowScat
December 1st, 2013, 09:04 PM
WHYdo they always tell us that if we cut it short, layer it, perm it, or color it, that our fine hair will somehow have body? It seems like a theme for many of us here. We have been told our hair won't look good long, or won't grow long at all. Really? Well, I think mine looks better LONG than being totally stuck to my head like seaweed on a rock when I had a pixie. Layers? That just takes from my overall volume. Perms? Frizzy, scraggly, damaged messes that have to be kept short, or grown out and cut off. Color-treating? How many times can you do that without totally frying your hair? And just how does that make our hair seem fuller?

I never knew how much I could love my hair until now. I'm loving it more than ever before, and I've done all of the above^^. This hair that I have now, is the prettiest, most versatile, most manageable hair I've ever had in my life. I'm 37 years old today, and I'm almost flirting with waist-length hair. The only thing that would make my hair better is if it was LONGER.


Happy Birthday to you LauraLongLocks! If we only had a time machine, huh? Layers were such a huge mistake, yet I kept getting them with the hope that "now, they'll finally look good!" Nope, never. They only made my hair look thinner and, what's the word? Shaggy. But not in a cute, fluffy, stylish way. Just limp and messy. It, truly, looked like I was growing out a bad haircut. Icky poo yuck yuck.

DweamGoiL
December 1st, 2013, 09:20 PM
Yes, Happy Birthday, LL :)

Lirona
December 1st, 2013, 11:16 PM
My mother always maintained that my hair looked better/fuller when it was cut above my shoulders. But I didn't let that stop me. Growing it out has been so worth it. I have a lot of fun with hair toys, braids, and buns I could never do before. It's now at hip (!). Take heart, ladies (and gentlemen)! Our texture is envied more than you think.

LauraLongLocks
December 1st, 2013, 11:38 PM
Happy Birthday to you LauraLongLocks! If we only had a time machine, huh? Layers were such a huge mistake, yet I kept getting them with the hope that "now, they'll finally look good!" Nope, never. They only made my hair look thinner and, what's the word? Shaggy. But not in a cute, fluffy, stylish way. Just limp and messy. It, truly, looked like I was growing out a bad haircut. Icky poo yuck yuck.


Yes, Happy Birthday, LL :)

Thank you for the birthday wishes. I had a great day. And yes, shaggy in a bad way, totally been there! I don't know why stylists are taught that layers will look good on fine/low volume heads of hair. How can less hair look like more? They certainly never looked good on me (unless I spent 45 minutes with the blowdryer and curling iron).

Zebra Fish
December 2nd, 2013, 01:52 AM
Since elementary I've been discouraged by hairdressers that I cant have long hair coz its it to fine and prone to splitting and damaging. I wanted long hair and my mom tried to help me, but she trusts hairdressers so she would do what they tell her (she had good intentions but advices were wrong) and my hair was always shaggy. Then around 3rd year of university I realized my hair was mbl (more or less) - I stopped paying attention and as I changed town went to a good hairdresser (had to cut every 4 months with no damage at all in between (!!) and not every 1,5-2 with all my hair in splits). Because of lack of time, a year later I cut it, grew it again, cut it and so on, until this january that I was told again that I cant have long hair, that I have to cut more often etc etc. But thing - happened in my hometown and the hairdresser told all of this to my mum but in the way that she thought my hair would all fall off. So I had to argue with mum, stopped going to hairdressers, found a better routine, found out that I could selftrim and I am around mbl again (fairytale end, not such full hemline as few years ago, but I'll get there again, I know it).
The "good" hairdresser never said anything about my hair being to fine to keep it that length, but they rose the prices too high for me to afford it anymore. But, it is possible and doable and I'm gonna prove it again :p

Flor
December 2nd, 2013, 02:45 AM
I've never been told that my hair physically won't be able to grow long. I have been told that I shouldn't have it long.

SleepyTangles
December 2nd, 2013, 03:01 AM
My mom used to cut my hair really short and would tell me I just couldn't grow my hair long.
Turns out I can.
I spent a lot of time crying because I was mistaken for a boy all the time.


Me too! I just wanted to strangle every "nice old lady" that complimented my mom over my "pretty and modern" hairstyle :disgust:!
And when I asked mom if I could let them grow, the answer was: "They are so fine, you need to keep them short to strenghten them!".

My neverending obsession for dresses, skirts and embarassingly girly stuff is probably rooted into the two thousand times I was mistaken for a polite, pretty little boy ;).

AmyBeth
December 3rd, 2013, 01:19 AM
Wow, your hair is so beautiful! Thank you for starting a Finey post, it feels great to know I'm not alone. :)

I've been discouraged my entire life to grow my hair long because, "it's too thin" and "it'll be stringy". Because of those comments, I've tried many times to have short, layered, permed, color-treated hair to give it "body". It never worked. Once I stopped listening to my Mom, friends and hairdressers, I finally learned to appreciate my hair type. I wish I had learned to embrace it decades ago. It would have saved me a ton of money, time, stress and insecurity.

Isn't that funny? I cut my TBL hair to just above my shoulders because I was getting "old" ( 35yrs :laugh:) and then spent the next several years doing the short, layered, colored, highlighted (never got around to perms, thank heavens). And I had short, layered colored and highlighted THIN, FINE FLAT hair. My hair is what it is, and nothing is going to change it. But yeah, accepting it for what it is and treating it the way it likes to be treated has really alleviated the "stress and insecurity" and given me the nicest hair of my life.

Lilybeany
December 3rd, 2013, 01:26 AM
I too get told I'm to fine for long hair. I stopped listening and now have waist bleached. Today I'm ditch the dye and am aiming for silver Gray tbl. I've been told not to do this either. I'm 47 and have been told fine Gray hair will make me look ill and red not to grow it.So because of this I'm dead growing it gracefully Gray and am going to rock my long Gray / bleach ombre. I'm feeling rebellious now. Bring it on I say. I post pics when I'm allowed. Let's start a trend ladies and gents. Grombre....bleach/Gray grow out...I like the name..Grombre here I grow.

spaceagerock
December 3rd, 2013, 02:17 AM
Yes.

I don't go to the hairdressers anymore because I'm sick to death of PAYING them money to tell me that they need to cut it all off when my hair is fine (fine good and fine texture :) ). Literally my entire life I've always cried my eyes out after going to the hairdresser because they cut too much because that's their opinion. The last straw was when they cut it uneven by a fair bit almost two years ago. Hells no... Cutting my own hair now, still trying to even out my hem, but I don't cry anymore and for the first time since I was about 5 my hair is a waist (it was hip then, but in physical length it's longer now)! Like I mentioned in another thread, I got told I'd be lucky if I got to BSL, but my "amazingly" my hair is looking brilliant at waist and people are commenting how healthy it looks.

Pfft, so I blame the "professionals" ;)

Tizzles
December 3rd, 2013, 03:03 AM
I was told ever since my hair started thinning to not grow it out long. "Keep it shorter for more volume!" Blah blah blah. I finally just realized one day that long or short my hair would still probably be thinner on top than I wanted it to be because of my type 2 diabetes going undiagnosed for so long. So just grow it long because I love long hair. So now I'm at BSL, and I'm gonna keep growing it until waist length and then just maintain for a bit. My hair, since taking better care of it, is actually NOT as thin as it was on top and I see improvements monthly.

TL;DR - Long hair, don't care!

Agnes Hannah
December 3rd, 2013, 06:46 AM
I was told ever since my hair started thinning to not grow it out long. "Keep it shorter for more volume!" Blah blah blah. I finally just realized one day that long or short my hair would still probably be thinner on top than I wanted it to be because of my type 2 diabetes going undiagnosed for so long. So just grow it long because I love long hair. So now I'm at BSL, and I'm gonna keep growing it until waist length and then just maintain for a bit. My hair, since taking better care of it, is actually NOT as thin as it was on top and I see improvements monthly.

TL;DR - Long hair, don't care!
Good for you Tizzles! I'm type 2 too, my hair is very fine and always has been so I don't think being diabetic has done too much damage to mine yet, hopefully it wont! EEk!. I'm glad to see you are at BSL, I'm heading there slowly. Good luck reaching waist!

maborosi
December 3rd, 2013, 07:32 AM
When I was young, I had fine, FINE hair that eventually thickened up more. Regardless, people didn't like it when I grew it out past my shoulders. They said it was ugly and scraggly-looking.

I think anyone can grow their hair out. Fine hair might take a different kind of hair care to maintain its health, but I hate when people don't think it's do-able. There are some awesome people on here with fine hair who've grown superlong and they look great!!

~maborosi~

Liz_park
December 3rd, 2013, 02:08 PM
Layers were such a huge mistake, yet I kept getting them with the hope that "now, they'll finally look good!" Nope, never. They only made my hair look thinner and, what's the word? Shaggy. But not in a cute, fluffy, stylish way. Just limp and messy. It, truly, looked like I was growing out a bad haircut. Icky poo yuck yuck.
LauraLongLocks and MeowScat, you guys are both right on the money...why on earth do stylists want to layer the shiz out of my fine hair? And why did I ever go along with it?

Ever since I started trimming my own hair, I have been so much happier. I am slowly cutting the layers out. I cannot wait until my hair is all one length -- the parts of it that are all one length are lovely and healthy looking. And both of you have gorgeous one-length hair. I'm excited for that day! :D

Nadine <3
December 3rd, 2013, 02:48 PM
Only every time I went to get it cut...I would always ask for a trim...like half an inch cut off and they always told me I should get more off, with layers to give it body and movement and make it look thicker. I went along with that for so long...now I'm growing out a bunch of horrible done choppy layers. I'm self trimming them away so I can have what I want, and not what every hair dresser thinks I need!

stachelbeere
December 3rd, 2013, 04:35 PM
I can't remember having had any particularly awful haircuts, I just remember that sad feeling in my childhood after not being let to grow my hair long - but no worries fellow LHCers, it only lasted for a short time after the visit, I was by far more occupied with other things as a child ;)

hang on - I actually never liked this haircut that hairdressers in the late 90s liked on me, I think I had it cut a few times:

http://hairstylesweekly.com/images/2012/06/Victoria-Beckham-Graduated-bob.jpg

I guess it looked good, and fine hair that is shampooed, unconditioned is going to look full and voluminous, especially when you blowdry it up - because our hair is light (as in weight, not colour) so it's going to stay fluffy easily if it's well prepped with a mousse and a blowdryer. And it looks gorgeous on Victoria Beckham here.

There was one video of a girl with rather thin and fine hair who shows how she cuts her hair. This was one of those things that showed me that I could grow my hair out. I mean look at her, she cuts her hair in so so many LAYERS and it looks really, really nice even though it's not super full and voluminous. Here's the link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyo7DXKT3lg) in case the video doesn't show below.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyo7DXKT3lg