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View Full Version : So Frustrated! Stall, or Terminal?



Mandie
November 19th, 2013, 01:14 AM
So a couple of months ago I asked my boyfriend to help trim my hair. Turns out that was a bad decision and he wound up cutting it ****-eyed and two inches instead of a half. But I'm over that. I cried that night and then had a few glasses of wine and just wore my hair up for a while. It was at about 32" before he cut it.

Now tonight it's at 31" and I'm being a bit generous. I feel like I haven't been able to break this frickin' barrier in the history of any time I've tried to grow my hair. I think it part of it may be because it always does what it's doing now -- it feels dry all the time (despite oiling it every time I take a shower and CWCing every shower and using 'cones which my hair requires or it turns into straw) and it tangles and for the first time today I had a huge MAT in my hair while it was up in a ponytail which I have never seen in my hair EVER -- and knowing that it tends to get a little unmanageable at this length I'm not doing what I usually reflexively do and lopping it all off. So I haven't touched it with scissors in a while.

But I am getting so, so frustrated. It feels icky if I go more than two days without washing it. It's frizzy. It's tangling. And it WILLNOTGROW.

How can you tell the difference between a stall and terminal? I feel like 32" is the longest my hair has EVER been and I can't even get back to that. I know it has grown an inch or two because I've stopped dying and have about a 1, 1-1/2" strip of roots showing but the length hasn't changed. Is it just damaged so it's breaking off at the ends (I was dying red for a long time and decided to go back to blonde so I did two rounds of colour oops and a round of blonde dye, could I have screwed myself there?)? I had been taking vitamins but I stopped a while back so I'm definitely thinking of starting that up again...and perhaps purchasing some Cassia to try to strengthen my hair. Is there anything else I can do? D=

Boy am I discouraged right now.

picklepie
November 19th, 2013, 01:51 AM
Have you clarified recently? Sounds like you've got all the symptoms of buildup, especially if you're using oils and cones on a regular basis.

longhairedlady
November 19th, 2013, 01:56 AM
Thats what I was thinking, maybe its time for a strong clarifying session. It might be just what you need. Just looking at your signature pic I wouldnt think you are terminal.

At worst, its like you said it is breaking off as you grow. At best, you just need to clarify, and I bet thats all it is!

Flor
November 19th, 2013, 02:04 AM
I support the previous poster, try clarifying.

As for general advice. Do not cut it, do not trim it, wear it in a way where the ends are safely tucked in most of the time (ponytails = BAD!). It WILL grow. I too get this "Oooh, it's looking kinda crappy HENS I should trim" itch, but truth is sometimes it does behave worse, and then it just gets better without me doing anything at all different to it.

spirals
November 19th, 2013, 02:19 AM
I also have tangling and dryness issues sometimes. I wash my ends with baking soda and do my usual acid rinse and all is right with the world again. I think catnip, coconut oil, and marshmallow root all build up on my hair.

Coolcombination
November 19th, 2013, 07:07 AM
Relax....deep breath....micro trim (less than 1/4") and clarify

Madora
November 19th, 2013, 07:36 AM
Give it plenty of time...at least 6 months. Keep trimming every once in a while (every 3 to 4 months). Be patient. Your hair is growing...slowly! Treat it gently. After you have clarified it, be sure do follow up at once with a conditioning treatment. Good luck!

Good nutrition helps grow healthy hair too!

Hootenanny
November 19th, 2013, 07:58 AM
Everyone here has given great advice. I'd just like to add that when I changed my diet a bit (added more protein) and started exercising more frequently, my hair seemed to speed up its growth a bit. Do you have a well-rounded diet and an active lifestyle?

Anje
November 19th, 2013, 08:22 AM
Echoing everyone else on clarifying. That said, check out your cut ends. If they're all splitting, you need to replace or sharpen your self-trim scissors. That could also cause bad end tangling.

bunzfan
November 19th, 2013, 08:31 AM
You may be sad that you seem to have hit a bit of a stall but judging by your signature picture your hair looks fantastic!! wish my ends looked that great you could try more protein when i eat or drink protein shakes my hair really grows alot! like a inch a month .

Madora
November 19th, 2013, 09:21 AM
Perhaps your problems can be traced to all the things you are putting on your scalp and hair. Clarifying that will definitely help, as many have suggested.

If I were you, I'd keep things to the barest minimum. The less stuff you put on your hair, the better. Here's an interesting article on the Drying Capacities of Oil by former LHCer Ktani:

http://web.archive.org/web/20111221141909/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=190

spidermom
November 19th, 2013, 10:25 AM
Every hair on your head has its own growth cycle. Your longest hairs may have reached the end of their growth cycles and are getting ready to shed out, but other hairs are still growing. When they pass the current longest hairs, you'll see length increase.

jacqueline101
November 19th, 2013, 12:51 PM
I don't think you're at terminal yet but you might have stalled growth. I agree with clarifying and a micro trim. I'd do a deep conditioning treatment and wear your hair up. When you wear it up tuck your ends under so they're protected. Be patient and let it grow. When you wear it up leave it up practice benign neglect.

Mandie
November 19th, 2013, 03:50 PM
I tried using JUST baking soda and ACV rinses for a month about two months ago. I figured maybe it would be better for my hair. It wound up as a mess and the day I used nice 'cone conditioner and shampoo again I was running around Pantene-Pro-V-ing all over the place with my hair. xD I don't know if I could really ALREADY have build up? It just seems so soon.

I use argan oil, the iodine value appears to be 90-105 which doesn't fit the range the article suggests for a drying oil so I think I'm okay? I use about a nickel size on the lower 1/4 of my hair after a shower because oiling my hair dry makes it look like...hair with oil in it. But oiling it while it's wet doesn't.

I'm probably paying too much attention to it but I'm so frustrated :alcoholic: I was benign neglecting for a couple of months and just measured last night for the first time since the beginning of September... aaaand...I swear it got SHORTER.

I ...do not really have a great diet or exercise routine. I'll be honest there. I should, but don't. I also don't take my vitamins on the regular which I will start again later this week after payday. I ran out of vitamins and keep forgetting to get more.

ErinLeigh
November 19th, 2013, 07:26 PM
Is you signature 2 different months with 29 inches as the length for both? I am confused and wonder if I am reading wrong. I see the pic on the right as hair a lot longer using the elbow as a guide.

Mandie
November 19th, 2013, 11:45 PM
Yeah, they both measured 29" but look different. I think it's due to the angle of the photos or something. Not entirely sure there.

I just took another length picture tonight, for the first time since March.

https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1476566_10202650556408849_1411353522_n.jpg

So it's been eight months and...the difference is not exactly all that great. Augh.

Mandie
November 20th, 2013, 12:32 AM
Okay. Spent a few minutes pulling together a comparison between March and November. I'm still really discouraged, but I can see a difference. Just...not what I would expect after eight months of growth. Even with the unfortunate chop that I have to keep reminding myself about. My goal length is classic and it feels utterly impossible. Sigh.

https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1468710_10202650630410699_787555337_n.jpg

I know the middle of my hair grows faster than the edges but I always fear when I see it scraggling like this that my hair has hit the not-growing-anymore length.

EDIT -- This is tiny, but for some reason it makes me feel thrilled... my hair is actually 31-1/2". When I measured last night I was way overdue for a wash and I think I'd lost a bit of length to that. So that's 2-1/2" of growth over eight months. So that would mean 0.3" of growth per month. However I also lost about 1-1/2" (some of the places were 1" and some were 2" so I'm going to average. It was not a great chop. My hair looks better than it has any right to. xD) So adding an extra 1-1/2" inches means 4" of growth over eight months which actually gives me a solid 1/2" per month.

I still don't feel like I will EVER break the 32" barrier, and never have...but I guess we'll know in two months if my hair actually keeps growing at 1/2" per month.

So. My big whiny rant was apparently for naught. :violin::doh:

spirals
November 20th, 2013, 01:13 AM
Well, we're here for you if you need to rant. And I like your V-ish hemline.

Mandie
November 20th, 2013, 01:19 AM
Well, we're here for you if you need to rant. And I like your V-ish hemline.


Thank you! ^^; I like it too. Once I get to my goal I'd like to maintain and eventually blunt it because I love a blunt hemline on classic length hair... but until then I will totally rock a V-line.

woelfchen83
November 20th, 2013, 02:47 AM
I won't cut mine before I reached classic length. I found out, that my hair will have splitted ends anyway, if I cut it every now and then or not. So I didn't cut it since more than one year and will not until next year May. In May I'll cut of everything which is longer than classical length and hopefully I'm gonna have a ful raw edge then.

What I want to say: I think it's better not to trim for a while if you want to grow it longer. For me it's better to let it grow and cut it back to a point where the edge is full. You know what I mean?

bunzfan
November 20th, 2013, 02:52 AM
I think it has grown alot in that time, your ends don't look bad but, if it is really bugging you micro trim but i would leave it if you can till Jan maybe.