Mental Health and my Hair...

[Nadine <3]

Hi everyone....

This is a bit embarrassing for me so please be gentle...please..

I have a very severe form of anxiety that causes me to have panic attacks. They're very bad at this point in my life and causing me to be fearful of leaving the house.

Anyways, my roommate has noticed that when I have these panic attacks (I have them throughout the day, but mostly at night) I grab at the back of my hair and pull on it, run my hands repeatedly through my hair, and I'm not very gentle with it either. I know from a few very bad personal experiences that pain stops the panic for a split second, so I'm sure that is why I do this.

Anyways, I need help getting myself to stop this behavior. My hair is shoulder length on the sides and a bit longer in the back with lots of layers. It's very fine and thin and it breaks easy.

Help?

[0xalis]

I have anxiety too but it causes me to do things that are worse than that... my best advice would be to talked to a trained professional.

[Crumpet]

Your priority should be your mental health. Have you seen a professional to talk about various therapies and medications that might work well for you? If not, that should be your first port of call. Good luck to you -- you don't have to deal with this -- people can help!

[Nadine <3]

I have anxiety too but it causes me to do things that are worse than that...

I do too, I just chose to leave it out, since it's not relevant to my hair :)

Crumpet, yes. I have a therapist who visits with me at home and I've been started on some medications that will hopefully help. But for now I need help protecting my hair.

[Crumpet]

I'm glad you have a therapist. That's a great first step! If you have roommates, maybe ask them to gently remind you to leave your hair be when you are anxious. Another thing might be something like a sleep cap. You won't be able to access your hair easily without thinking about what you are doing more thoroughly.

Believe me, I understand -- I've had depression/anxiety for ages. It does get better but it takes oodles of effort. You'll be a much stronger person though, when you get through this dark spot.

[0xalis]

I do hope you find the answers you seek. Anxiety sucks, super duper bad. :flowers:

[maborosi]

I have severe anxiety, too. I do tend to run my hand through my hair a lot or pull it when I start to get upset. I've found that secure, difficult-to-undo updos (like a braided bun kept in place with pins or what have you) help me keep my hands out of my hair and instead, I pull on the sleeves of my shirt/jacket. Other things that've helped me before are having an object that's textured, or something squishy or something that's just out of the ordinary- the feel of something with a texture on my hands can really be soothing. Much better for me and my hair and it gives my hands something to do that wouldn't be destructive.

Hope you can find something that helps you and your therapy and meds can work out!! :flower:

~maborosi~

[Kaelee]

:grouphug:

You could cover your hair somehow, a scarf or snood?

[kitana97]

I've had really bad anxiety as well - not wanting to leave the house, couldn't eat, scared/worrying all the time, digestion problems, etc. However, since getting help I've been a lot better. For a couple of weeks I took Ativan because the panic attacks and the fear of having panic attacks were too intense. I went to therapy 2x a week including group therapy, which was surprisingly helpful.

Regarding you hair, I suggest putting it up in a bun. When my hair is down I pick it at relentlessly when I'm anxious, so if it's up you can't grab at it. Your probably pulling on it because the pain offers you a distraction from the anxiety and/or your so anxious that you don't feel comfortable in your own skin.

My advice would be to continue therapy - even look into group therapy as it will get you out of the house. If you've started to avoid - not leaving the house or not doing things that make you feel uncomfortable - try and stop that. Avoiding only feeds the anxiety. During group therapy I worked the the workbook 'An End to Panic' http://www.amazon.com/End-Panic-Breakthrough-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1572241136/ref=pd_sim_b_1/190-7633851-8201910. Going through this workbook helped me tremendously. I know it might sound corny, but it really really helped. If you read it and do the exercises (most important part) you really will benefit.

I still have anxiety but it doesn't rule my life. I don't fear panic attacks every waking moment like I used to. However, when I am feeling anxious I take these herbal 'calm drops' http://www.historicalremedies.com/mood-lozenges?page=shop.product_details&category_id=3&flypage=flypage.tpl&product_id=31
They surprisingly work really well. I also carry around a few pills of Ativan for just in case. I never take it but it makes me feel better knowing that they're there if I need them. However, I'm working on eliminating this behavior because it's really not helping me. But I'm not ready yet :P

I hope this helped, and if you need to talk to someone who's been through panic attacks and anxiety message me whenever.

[Firefox7275]

(((hugs))) Are you eating an anti stress diet?

[farmlass]

Similar to previous posters, I would suggest covering your hair or bunning it, so it's harder to pull. Also, could you try re-directing your panic outlet to something else, such as, like maborosi suggested, a stress-relieving squishy item, or put a hair elastic on your wrist and ping it or something like that? Good luck with the therapy and medication, I really hope it helps you :grouphug:

[chen bao jun]

Medication helps, but it takes a couple of weeks to kick in.
Once the medication kicks in, its good to do therapy to help long term.
I had this issue before also, couldn't leave house, severe panic, I am fine now.
When you are able to, take up something like knitting or crocheting, its amazing how having your hands busy soothes you.
My guess is that there are quite a few of us on this forum with some anxiety issues as it tends to go with OCD and there is more than a little obsession with hair here (no offense, I recognize it because I have it, and if you have to be obsessed with something, hair is not a bad thing, believe me, most obsessions are much, much worse..)

Oh, this will sound silly, but its great--long, warm baths, preferably with the water running, water is so soothing...

And don't be ashamed. It's not something you 'did' or a 'weakness'--its a chemical imbalance in brain, and though circumstances can make it kick in, it is hereditary, no way your 'fault'.

[Kaelee]

And don't be ashamed. It's not something you 'did' or a 'weakness'--its a chemical imbalance in brain, and though circumstances can make it kick in, it is hereditary, no way your 'fault'.

This!!! OCD and GAD here myself. Never tried medication, but have considered it, especially recently. I'm usually OK, but circumstances DEFINITELY trigger it.

Also, chamomile tea is pretty good for taking the edge off anyway.

[torrilin]

I've got a family history of anxiety problems. My case is (mercifully) pretty minor. For me a single or twin braid style (braids pinned up or not depending on my taste) tends to work well. My sister has something closer to a classic panic disorder, and she finds braided styles helpful as well.

A lot of the time the "false" panic signals your body sends are not so much false as an overreaction. You'll be more likely to feel stressed or anxious if your needs are not being met. Hungry? You'll feel anxious more easily. Thirsty? You'll feel anxious more easily. Tired? You'll feel anxious more easily. Cold? You'll panic more easily. You get the idea. And those are all reasonable things to need. Everyone needs to be warm, fed, have enough to drink and have enough sleep. You're not a bad person or a failure for needing these things. And it's good to take good care of yourself. Take care of the actual needs, and that will cut down on some (probably nowhere near all) of the anxiety.

[tetisheri72]

I have anxiety too. I so get that whole pain stopping the anxiety thing. It feels really good in that second that it happens. I used to pull my hair out. That's why I cut it very short at one point. I still pull my eyebrows out. That bit of pain really clarifies things, and pushes back against it. What I have found works for me is trading pulling for brushing. I have a very nice brush that sits by me on the back of my couch, and one that's in my bedroom. When I get really anxious and nothing else works, I take down my hair and brush it. Nothing hard, and I make sure that I get my scalp too. It turns out that brushing my hair soothes me, and the feel of the brush on my scalp gives me that bit of physical differentness that I need.

I hope you find something that helps you figure out something that helps you. I second the making sure you are taking care of yourself. If I haven't been sleeping or eating well, I'm at a much higher risk for anxiety attacks, or for my bipolar to really act up.

[Naiadryade]

Others have given good advice already: covering your hair and/or wearing it up, treating yourself well to lower your baseline state of anxiety, finding other things to do with your hands when you get panicky like squishing something or snapping an elastic around your wrist, asking for gentle reminders from your housemates.

I just wanted to chime in with some more support! I have anxiety too, (yup, like someone said, it goes with the OCD thing... I think part of my mind is always on my hair) though not as intense as yours... it hasn't ever kept me home for days on end, but it has kept me from going to work sometimes in the past. You're not alone, and we are here for you! :grouphug: I totally believe you can get through this, and you'll be stronger and have a better idea of how to be supportive and respectful of yourself after.

ETA- It makes me feel better about myself and the world in general if I fill my time with things I really enjoy doing as much as I can. Things that I've noticed calm me down. Taking care of my hair is one part of that... I do some kind of deep treatment or other almost every time I wash. It makes me feel like I'm treating myself well which for me, makes me feel calmer and more confident as my baseline. Maybe there's some wisdom in there for you? Fill your time with things that make you feel good. Hope that helps. :flower:

[Agnes Hannah]

I also have depression and anxiety. It is hereditary so there was a good chance of me getting like this. I am currently "on the sick" because I am having an episode at present. It feels horrible and is very distressing. I have sleeping tablets at present and am due to go back to see my doctor next Monday. I find concentrating on anything very difficult and get short tempered when people ask too many questions. It may sound strange, but reading these blogs/threads and looking at other peoples beautiful hair does help me. Nobody asks too much of me here and there is an element of understanding. I can cry when I want and no one condemns me for it. Take care, sending hugs.
Agnes

[kmoc123]

I also suffer from panic disorders and PTSD. I was on Effexor and other anti-anxiety/anti-depression meds for years, but they didn't really help that much. Recently, a friend has shown me Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunction and OMG what an eye opener. That is really about ME and may really be about you as well. It is not your fault, but it is something that you can begin to recover from. My daughter is also suffering from PTSD and panic attacks. Find your own way of healing, be it through art, physical activity, spiritual, or really all of the above. I am a huge believer in art therapy whether it is through visual, dance, or music. Be gentle with yourself. Find your inner child that really needs to just be loved. There are many places online to read about this condition. (I am also getting my Masters in Mental Health Counseling...) You are NOT alone! I find that, in and of itself, very comforting. Sending you a big hug!

[Crumpet]

And don't be ashamed. It's not something you 'did' or a 'weakness'--its a chemical imbalance in brain, and though circumstances can make it kick in, it is hereditary, no way your 'fault'.

This is key. Both as a rule for yourself but also for the people in your life.

[chen bao jun]

Thanks for posting that, Kmoc123.
Someone pointed me to AlAnon and that has helped a lot. This is another thing that goes into the mix. People often calm (or try to calm) their OCD and anxiety with alcohol, so if you have this as a hereditary thing, it is not surprising to have alcoholics in the family, which adds to the stress and makes you more OCD, vicious cycle.
Alcohol skipped a generation in my family, destroyed my father's childhood so he did not do it and somehow us kids managed to miss doing it either. (When Dad got anxious, he cleaned frantically instead, which can also be an issue, but not the same way as alcohol). So I really thought alcoholism had nothing to do with me. It wasn't in my house growing up and not in my house with my kids I raised, and I was so shocked when it showed up in a child. AlAnon was a real eye opener and very much helped.
Interesting thing--when my OCD and anxiety got totally out of control three years ago (I always had it, but it was never so I couldn't control it until a series of devastating things happened), I realized exactly why people turn to alcohol or even commit suicide, I would have done ANYTHING to be able to relax and shut my brain off for even 10 minutes. It was absolute torture. It seemed as if if I could have a drink, I'd be able to unwind and sleep, I jsut wanted REST. this feeling scared me so much that I ran for help and got meds instead and within two weeks I was functioning again like a normal person, it was unbelievable what a difference it made.
It did give me compassion for alcoholics.

[kmoc123]

Try ACOA...there are online meetings. It is a little different than AA or Al-Anon...I got the BIg Red Book for my kindle and ordered the hard back for my daughter. We also have the workbook. Be kind to YOU...One Day At A Time! Love!!

[Kaelee]

See, I was a member of Al-Anon for a while and my experience there made me run so far and fast from any and all 12 step programs I swear, I will never be a member of one again. I actually regressed to the point of getting urges to self harm for the first time in over a year, all while being told how much "progress" I was making. I feel like you're never "allowed" to recover in a program like that. You're told you're "in recovery"- forever. I'm not down with that. I also couldn't handle the fact that part of the program meant being reminded on a daily basis of all the crap that had happened in my life that I was trying to MOVE ON from (and had succeeded, largely, until I joined Al-Anon.)

Maybe I just met with a bad group. I don't know. Maybe I'll never know, because I have no intention of going back.

[Nadine <3]

Thank you all so much for the support <3 Today I put my hair in two french braids, and then I covered it with fun hat. I don't like the way the braids look on me and my hairstick doesnt stay in well enough yet. The braids take forever to put in, and since I oiled the length, I'm less likely to pull them out. I still find myself tugging on the tassels and playing with them though...Oh well, at least the back of my head isn't being grabbed and pulled repeatedly.

My anxiety is hereditary, so is the depression I suffer from. My dad had it really bad. He obsessively worked out until he could no longer move everyday. I guess that's one way of doing it. My parents split when I was young and my dad took off though, so I lived with my mom. My mom is an abusive alcoholic. I've been hit and shoved around, as well as being sexually and verbally abused. I'm sure that only adds to the problem.

I was a member of Al-anon for a short period of time, but it was forced on my by someone who was trying to do me good, but the only thing it did for me was cause loads of anxiety, and I left every meeting depressed. Not only that, but it wasn't run very well. Not sure if it was the particular group I was in, but it wasn't helpful at all.

As for a healthy diet, I'm unemployed. My roommate is supporting me. We buy fruits and stuff when we go shopping, but for the most part we are young and have yet to grasp the whole cooking thing. LOL Also, as a part of my anxiety, most days I have a hard time eating. I have to force myself to eat. I have so many digestion problems due to this.

I do write poetry, and my camera is like part of my hand. I just wish I could make it outside to take pictures again. :/

Thank you all, so much for the support. My hair is up and out of the way, so that's very good. We'll see how long I keep up with it though, since I like to have my hair down, and I like hiding behind it...

[torrilin]

Eh, I don't think a 12 step style program suits everyone. For some of us, it's very freeing and empowering to hear "you'll never be fixed, and that is ok". For others, that sounds like a horrible, terrifying trap. And where you fit can change from day to day! And while alcoholism or other drug addictions are often comorbid with anxiety (and OCD, and ADD, and depression and and and and and)... I don't think treating mental illness in the exact same way as an addiction is necessarily helpful.

I *do* think it's good to learn about various kinds of addiction and mental illness. There are lots of variations in symptoms and behavior. People are very creative in their coping strategies. And a behavior that might be harmful when a person with OCD takes it to their natural extreme might be just right for me in dealing with my ADD and memory issues. We're all different, and there aren't a whole lot of things that are clearly right or clearly wrong. For such fragile animals, we're *really* flexible :D. It's pretty awesome.

(and now I am reminded that I should make sure to pack fragrance free stuff for my upcoming trip... I keep scratching, and I'm betting it's because I used a scented soap last night as a treat. Gotta break the cycle of scrub and scratch before it can get going again.)

[Misschilly]

I just wanna share my support, I have GAD and depression and finally I'm getting some help!

[Angelicblaze]

Hi, I suffer from anxiety too. It's not a firm diagnosis, I was always nervous in general but I suffered from pretty severe postpartum anxiety which is still lingering after 16 months. The bad thing is I internalize it. So it messes up my heart rhythm big time, and I get stressed in my body and exhausted after it's all over. Noone on the outside is aware I am going through it, usually I get up and leave the room instantly to go to a room completely by myself and try to calm myself down but the more my heart jumps around the more worked up it makes me feel.

I think it's actually a good thing that you are able to externalize it, though it is your hair. If you're already seeing a professional, then maybe try switching your behavior to different external source. That probably doesn't help but you're not alone in your anxiety struggles I am doing lots of things to try and work it out. What helps me the most is going through the experience that causes anxiety with someone loving and supportive, the more my mind and body realizes that that situation or experience is ok, that there are more good outcomes than bad ones, than I start to get more confidence. I have to do it a little at a time though. Going out used to bother me alot, now I am almost back to normal with that. Watching anything that tugged too much on my fears or emotions at night used to really bother me but now that's better too. Gotta do it bit by bit. I think I actually had a breakdown and I am recovering from it, I'm not sure though. At the worst point a year ago, just watching my kids eating dinner was too much for me too handle, I can't explain why but it was too much, just hearing my baby cry was too much, but my husband and family were extremely supportive so that helped, and I can do anything with my husband by my side and I am getting better at doing things on my own now too, like taking a kid to an appointment, when being stuck in traffic might have bothered me before it bothers me less now. So anyway, little by little I am getting my confidence back and becoming more like myself again. I bought two new nail polishes yesterday, just a silly thing but I used to love wearing nail polish then when I got fearful I started getting into self-preservation and letting all that other stuff go.

I hope you find a solution. :)

[chen bao jun]

Nothing is for everybody. We are just sharing things that helped us personally and sending good thoughts (and in my case, prayers) your way and hoping you feel supported and not alone. Definitely don't want to add to stress by putting 'shoulds' on you.
It is great that you felt able to post the problem on this forum and to ask for help, and also great that you are getting the medical support you need. Take care.