Emotional hair messing...

[coconutterly88]

Hi all,

I'm just wondering whether this is a common experience at all -

I'll be feeling stressed out/fed up/restless or generally in some form of negative emotional state and convince myself that by cutting/dying/doing something in beneficial to my hair, it'll have some sort of magical positive effect?

This seems to have actually been the primary cause of hair-related setbacks over the last few years and I'm looking to find out some alternative recommendations to veering from the plan of reaching APL ASAP and causing some almost definite hairegret!

Just as a side note, am 33 weeks pregnant with my second baby (my daughter's 20 months old) and having a bit of a rubbish pregnancy so much as I'd love to get out and about, am a little housebound ATM...

You guys tend to be so positive and empowering, I figured it'd be a good idea to look for some suggestions as opposed to cutting a Mohawk and dying it varying rainbow shades :doh:

Thanks in advance!

[Flor]

Oh sure, it seems to happen a lot! I also noticed that sometimes people focus too much on their hair and find flaws in its condition if they're feeling low. Some start experimenting with a lot products/bleaching, which often leads to hair actually getting worse. Others take it as a justifiable reason for a major cut. We (as humans) do tend to use hair as a reflection of our spiritual state.

The best solution I have is to deviate your attention from hair altogether. Maybe learn a new hobby, like knitting or other kind of crafting. If it's still your hair you want to do something with, then S&D, learn how to do DIY pampering masks (less chances of screwing something up compared to using new store bought products), try new updos, microtrim (could cure the scissor itch).

[melusine963]

I would recommend just trying to forget about your hair. The easiest way for me to do this is to wear it up all the time, in styles that are comfortable and secure enough that I don't need to redo them before bedtime. That way my hair stays out of sight and out of mind, and I'm not constantly scrutinising its condition and wondering how to improve it.

[Nebulae]

Now that I think about it, I sort of did this the other day! Basically I'm a pro procrastinator and that causes some stress and negative feelings.. I thought hey, if I'm gonna procrastinate anyway why not do something nice for myself and maybe feel better? So I did a SMT in hopes that my hair would feel better and so would I. I've never had the urge to cut or dye or something drastic like that though, I make it an excuse to give myself some spa-like treatments, hair, face, hands or feet.. if I had a bathtub you bet I would take long nice baths too!

So if you have a hard time putting it up and forgetting about it, how about a nice treatment? :)

[chen bao jun]

Yeah, I notice I start s & d ing when I am stressed. The fairy knots are always there but they feel worse then and like I have to cut them off.
I'll also redo and redo hairstyles and my head will still ache.

[Anje]

Seems pretty common. My hypothesis is that when a person feels out of control with at least some aspect of their life, they like to assert a little control somewhere. Hair is an easy target of that.

[bunzfan]

Yep i'm the worst person for it too, and its why i have been at waist yoyoing between that and hip a whole year! seems much longer though, i recently made it to hip when i was to busy to think about it so i think the taking up the new hobby is a great idea! now to get it to TB without chopping. I do agree the braids and updo's are your friends when it's out of sight you focus on other things.

[blue_eyes]

I'll be feeling stressed out/fed up/restless or generally in some form of negative emotional state and convince myself that by cutting/dying/doing something in beneficial to my hair, it'll have some sort of magical positive effect?

That describes me perfectly for the last 10 years. Ever since I started high school & those insecure teenage years lol. I thought by changing my hair I'd feel instantly better about myself and suddenly life would be perfect. So I'd change my hair, and when things weren't perfect and I didn't feel any better, I'd change it again. Same with stress (I was in a poisonous relationship for 3 years) and found myself always dyeing or bleaching my hair, trying to feel better about myself. My hairdresser at the time asked me if I was having a rough time, because some people will always take out their issues on their hair. She was absolutely right, and that's was when I first realized what I was doing.

Now that I'm consciously aware of what I'm doing I'm better at stopping it. Whenever I'm going through a rough/stressful time I just say to myself "this has nothing to do with your hair." lol. Plus, if you have a goal, just keep it in mind and continue with the steps to achieve it, regardless of how you're feeling. Having someone to talk to about how you're feeling also helps :) It's a hard cycle to break though. I'm trying to grow out some emotional hair destruction right now! :P

[jacqueline101]

Oh yes I've been there done that. Infact I did it yesterday when I trimmed my bangs I cut them to Bette Paige length. I already had triangle bangs. I was wanting something new. I started trimming slow until I got them where I wanted them. I think there are times we all need change.

[BlazingHeart]

What about spending some time watching hair style videos on Youtube and teaching yourself new styles instead? That would give you new 'looks', without any setback on length or condition of your hair.

Or if you want to dye, pick up some deposit-only dye like Manic Panic (there are other companies that make more natural colors - Elumen, I think?) and give yourself a temporary new color. It'll wash out, and the deposit-only dyes are harmless and actually tend to be very conditioning, so again, no setback on length or condition.

[coconutterly88]

Thanks all for the suggestions, nice to know I'm not the only one whose poor hair occasionally bears the brunt of my frustrations - they say we hurt the ones we love the most! :confused: