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View Full Version : I am struggling to embrace my waves



sarahthegemini
October 20th, 2013, 11:48 AM
I'm really trying to embrace my wavy hair but sometimes I think what's the point. Here's my predicament and I will probably sound stupid but here goes; I feel like if I scrunch in my conditioner I can get pretty good wave formation, up close my waves look defined, shiny and healthy, I even have a ringlet or two. However, from a distance, and not even a big distance, my hair just looks like a messy undefined mass of hair. For example, if I stand at one side of my room, 5ft away from my mirror, my hair looks awful, it just looks messy, unkept, frizzy and not particularly full. You can see virtually no definition. Yet close up, it looks fine .... I really don't understand. This happens regardless of whether or not I use hold products. I don't know how my hair can go from one extreme to another .... help!?

TIA

eta: I played around with mirror positioning, and I realise a lot of my issues are due to poor lighting :laugh: What a doofus!

DweamGoiL
October 20th, 2013, 12:18 PM
Great! Glad you figured it out

DarleneH
October 20th, 2013, 12:24 PM
I was going to say you're just worrying too much, but it sounds like you fixed it with the lighting. :)

lapushka
October 20th, 2013, 12:27 PM
I was going to say you're just worrying too much, but it sounds like you fixed it with the lighting. :)

This. ^^ Most definitely!

sarahthegemini
October 20th, 2013, 12:34 PM
I am a bit of an idiot sometimes :p I jump to conclusions before thinking logically!

Aingeal
October 20th, 2013, 12:45 PM
Glad you got it figured out! Sometimes we have some bad days with our curls, but I hope you learn to love yours.

Emichiee
October 20th, 2013, 06:56 PM
Try to take some pictures in nice day light! It will look much better. :)

biogirl87
October 20th, 2013, 07:35 PM
Sarahthegemini, do you think it's possible that your hair doesn't want to be treated like wavy hair but rather like straight hair?

sarahthegemini
October 21st, 2013, 06:41 AM
Sarahthegemini, do you think it's possible that your hair doesn't want to be treated like wavy hair but rather like straight hair?

I don't know? I'm not sure at all how my hair wants to be treated tbh.

lapushka
October 21st, 2013, 07:39 AM
I don't know? I'm not sure at all how my hair wants to be treated tbh.

Have you posted a hairtyping picture yet? Maybe we could help out with typing, so you can be sure of how to treat your hair best.

Siiri
October 21st, 2013, 08:31 AM
I think there's sometimes too much pressure on "embracing you waves/curls". Like it's a sin to use a comb if you have wavy hair. I have some loose waves myself, and don't like how messy and stringy they look on me if I try the CG method. With the poor result I get, it's way too much work. And then I'm wearing my hair mostly up, so what would be the point anyway?

summergreen
October 21st, 2013, 08:42 AM
Agree about the hairtyping pic. Your waves look great in your avatar!

ExpectoPatronum
October 21st, 2013, 08:45 AM
I think there's sometimes too much pressure on "embracing you waves/curls". Like it's a sin to use a comb if you have wavy hair. I have some loose waves myself, and don't like how messy and stringy they look on me if I try the CG method. With the poor result I get, it's way too much work. And then I'm wearing my hair mostly up, so what would be the point anyway?

I second this. I have wavy hair, but to varying degrees all over my head. The CG method words for the curlier parts of my hair, but does nothing for the less wavy parts. I looked really odd with a very curl front half of my hair, where my back half looked just a little wavy. I get much better results if I comb my hair out when wet. Not only are my waves more even across my hair, but it takes up a lot less of my time than CG did.

sarahthegemini
October 21st, 2013, 09:01 AM
I do need to get round to posting a hair typing picture, I keep forgetting to just wash my hair. There seems to be conflict about whether conditioner can be used for typing,


Agree about the hairtyping pic. Your waves look great in your avatar!

Aw thanks :) I can't even remember how I got those waves, I think that was just a very good hair day :o I love how uniformed they look (that happens very rarely) Usually i'm a mixed bag. I've only just started CG so I don't think it's that that is the culprit. I'm hoping if I keep up with this method, i'll get more consistent waves across my whole head.

neko_kawaii
October 21st, 2013, 09:20 AM
If left to dry down and untouched to preserve my natural waves my hair looks dry and dull, looks tangled and forms mats. If on the other hand I put it in a braid or bun when mostly dry and take it out later, it is shiny and smooth. My solution is to embrace braid and bun waves. I REALLY like rope braid waves with a paranda.

But yes, good lighting makes a huge difference!

Salmonberry
October 21st, 2013, 09:35 AM
I think there's sometimes too much pressure on "embracing you waves/curls". Like it's a sin to use a comb if you have wavy hair. I have some loose waves myself, and don't like how messy and stringy they look on me if I try the CG method. With the poor result I get, it's way too much work. And then I'm wearing my hair mostly up, so what would be the point anyway?

I agree with this. I've got "Straivey" 1c/2a hair as well. It looks better and is less frizzy if I treat it like straight hair. It will get nice and smooth and sleek if I brush it out. I've been experimenting with a diffuser to get it to hold more waves, but I always end up with the messy tousled look (It seems to be in fashion now though). I can't get nice sleek uniform waves though :(

jupiterinleo
October 21st, 2013, 10:11 AM
I agree with this. I've got "Straivey" 1c/2a hair as well. It looks better and is less frizzy if I treat it like straight hair. It will get nice and smooth and sleek if I brush it out. I've been experimenting with a diffuser to get it to hold more waves, but I always end up with the messy tousled look (It seems to be in fashion now though). I can't get nice sleek uniform waves though :(

I'm also a "Straivy" but my hair is almost the opposite: it looks wavy and better if I don't brush/comb it. It's interesting how different everyone's hair reacts to things. That's why I love this site.

Wildcat Diva
October 21st, 2013, 10:36 AM
I hope you figure it out. I've got wavy 2B hair and I've been liking some of the curly girl strategies. I have after a year learned how to do fingercombing only (well 90%!) and it's working. I like using homemade flax seed gel to define my curls. I can amazingly make fairly sleek looking buns with fingercombing, which I had doubted that I would be able to do. Do some experimenting and you will figure out what to do to make your hair happy.

Centaur
October 21st, 2013, 02:00 PM
I embraced my waves a lot better after I started following the Curly Girl method, included using a no-poo shampoo, and using the Deva Curl products. No more frizz! And, that was a big part of the fight for me.

Also, with wavy hair, you have to accept it is going to look different then your straight-haired friends. It just isn't going to look smooth and coiffed. That's just the way it is if you want to embrace having wavy hair.

Salmonberry
October 21st, 2013, 02:32 PM
I think there's sometimes too much pressure on "embracing you waves/curls". Like it's a sin to use a comb if you have wavy hair. I have some loose waves myself, and don't like how messy and stringy they look on me if I try the CG method. With the poor result I get, it's way too much work. And then I'm wearing my hair mostly up, so what would be the point anyway?

I agree with this. I've got "Straivey" 1c/2a hair as well. It looks better and is less frizzy if I treat it like straight hair. It will get nice and smooth and sleek if I brush it out. I've been experimenting with a diffuser to get it to hold more wave, but I always end up with the messy tousled look (It seems to be in fashion now though). I can't get nice sleek uniform waves though :(

Oops: Sorry for the double post :(. I thought my first post hadn't gone through.

HintOfMint
October 21st, 2013, 03:08 PM
I'm glad you figured out your issue with the lighting. But I'm also chiming in as a girl who has not embraced her natural waves. Waves, yes, just not my natural ones which actually form a very uneven and unflattering curl pattern. My hair is pretty malleable and I can comb it without a problem. Brushing can give it the "straight poof" but a bit of fingercombing after seems to clump it into a more flattering style, so it's not all bad. I mostly let bun-waves work their magic.

daredevil14
October 22nd, 2013, 02:42 AM
The whole lighting/mirrors DO affect how we perceive our hair. I have wavy/curly hair and some mirrors/lights do show my hair as frizzy and "messy" while some natural light and some mirrors reflect a perfect pattern of waves and curls!

Can anyone explain this? How does our hair "really" look after all? I mean which mirrors/lights can we believe? :p

biogirl87
October 22nd, 2013, 03:14 AM
I don't know? I'm not sure at all how my hair wants to be treated tbh.I am just because I know that my hair has been typed as 2b, but yet when I try to treat it like wavy hair, it looks good for a few days and starts to lose volume. When I treat it like straight hair (combing every day, twice a day if I wear it down, using a little as possible so I don't weigh it down), it will look good for about 4-5 days and then allow me to go another 2-3 days before I have to wash. When I tried the curly girl method, it was even worse (my hair looked good the day I washed it and the next day and then I was at the point where I couldn't wait until my next wash day, plus it started itching on day 2 with curly girl method while typically it takes four or five days for my hair to start itching with my normal routine). I don't know if that's the case with all wavies or if my hair is just weird in that way.


I do need to get round to posting a hair typing picture, I keep forgetting to just wash my hair. There seems to be conflict about whether conditioner can be used for typing,I think the New Visual Hair Typing tells you to wash your hair normally. If you use conditioner after you wash your hair (you might want to use shampoo with sulfates or cocadmidopropyl betaine to wash your hair for hair typing so that you remove all the products you may have put into your hair, then use conditioner if you normally condition your hair in the shower), then use conditioner after you wash your hair for hair typing. You wouldn't normally be doing a clarifying wash every time you wash your hair, so why would you want to to clarify your hair for hair typing?