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View Full Version : Its never too late to inspire..



MissHair
September 4th, 2008, 01:24 PM
Ive tried my hardest to inspire my mother to grow long hair. She recently cut a bob and said ''Women over 50 cant have long hair.. Its disgusting, especially on me..''

I think she has been watching too many make-over shows where they cut off womens hair to make them look more stylish and have a more dramatic change.

Ever since she had that dreadful haircut, which honestly makes her look SO much older, Ive been trying to convince her to grow it long. Few days ago she came to me and said ''Hey you know what, Im thinking of growing my hair long, so I can make bun or keep it in a long braid, I think I actually want long hair now, maybe its not a bad idea''.

Its never too late.. I thought my mom was impossible to ''convert''.. I cant wait to see her with long hair. :cheese:

JessTheMess
September 4th, 2008, 01:26 PM
Good for you!!! If only I could get my mom to stop frying her hair with flatirons and blow dryers and chemical dyes :(

sipnsun
September 4th, 2008, 01:34 PM
My mom felt the same way your mom did for many years. My dad and me begged her to let it grow just to jaw length because she wore it around 2" all over. It was awful (hopefully she won't read this)! Then she decided she wanted a perm and her stylist told her she needed to let it grow a little or she would have tight kinky curls. She let it grow some and permed it and then left if alone for a year. By the end of the year, she wanted another perm and that one looked even better because her hair was longer.

Two years later it is between shoulder length and APL and she loves it. She get more compliments now than ever! (Plus my dad is very happy!) I've directed her to this website and although she doesn't have the time to poke around here very much, she always wants to try the new treatments I do. I hate it that women feel that they need to cut their hair after a certain age, I don't know how that rumor ever got started but hopefully we can change that misconception!

MissHair
September 4th, 2008, 01:38 PM
I hate it that women feel that they need to cut their hair after a certain age, I don't know how that rumor ever got started but hopefully we can change that misconception!

Im so happy for your mom that she decided to let it grow too. I really dont know where this rumour started. Can anyone here above 50 share with us if this is something women in your age feel or if its the younger generation pressuring older women to cut it really short after a certain age? Or is it just a cultural thing? I simply dont get it. When I am above 40-50, I want to be fabulous with long hair!

LadyLongLocks
September 4th, 2008, 01:44 PM
That's great! When I turned 40 I thought I should cut my hair because I was too old for it! Thank goodness people talked me out of it. I kept putting it off until I decided I wanted to keep it long! In 2005 I decided to grow my tailbone length hair to my knees for once in my life. I am way over 40 now and reached knee length! I have a personal hair page and tons of hair videos on youtube. Better late than never! Long hair over 40 is great! I hope your mom keeps growing it long!Sometimes it takes a bad short haircut to make us want to grow it long...happened to me at age 14. Good luck and happy growing to you mom!
:)

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i172/JJJLonghair/late%2007%20and%202008%20hair%20photos/100_4482cpyrtzsygmsPHOTO2-1.jpg
Long hair over 40!

Silver & Gold
September 4th, 2008, 01:47 PM
Im so happy for your mom that she decided to let it grow too. I really dont know where this rumour started. Can anyone here above 50 share with us if this is something women in your age feel or if its the younger generation pressuring older women to cut it really short after a certain age? Or is it just a cultural thing? I simply dont get it. When I am above 40-50, I want to be fabulous with long hair!

I'm not quite 'over 50' yet but I'll be 50 next spring. I can tell you that I was raised on the notion and it came from the generations above me.

I remember hearing that long hair just doesn't look good on 'mature women'. I bought it and figured if I didn't have long hair when I was young I would never have it. Now here I am, going on 50 and with every intention to see how long my hair will actually grow for the first time in my life.

Every other time I grew my hair I always had the notion that anything longer than shoulder length just didn't look good on me. Now I'm learning that shoulder length itself is a bad phase for my particular hair and that if I can get it past shoulder that my hair should actually lay much nicer.

I just don't care anymore. I'm like the old dog on the porch. I'm letting it go long and grey . . . and to anyone who doesn't like it, I say, "So what?" I do what pleases me. It's about time!

lora410
September 4th, 2008, 02:05 PM
My mother has long hair eventhough she dyes it. I am glad my mother is a long hair lover :D

rhysiana
September 4th, 2008, 02:19 PM
I'm not nearly old enough to qualify for this discussion yet, but reading it made me feel rather amused at what pains my grandmother has gone to to point out people in their retirement community with really long hair. The one woman she made sure to introduce me to had a beautiful TB length snow white braid. When I got my hair cut short in college for the first time since 1st grade, her comment was, "It looks nice, but now you look just like everyone else."

My mom's hair is currently longer than it used to be, but she hasn't had it longer than her shoulders since the late '70s, I think, judging by pictures. She did make a point of telling me how my great grandmother had very long hair, though, keeping it in a coronet braid during the day and only letting the braid down at night. I got the impression that the grandchildren all considered it a rare and exciting event to get to see the braid down.

Tangles
September 4th, 2008, 02:22 PM
The reason my mom has below-shoulder hair is me. I persuaded her it was much more flattering than bob and now she agrees with me. :D

She doesn't like wearing it down though, even though it's a lovely shade of golden blonde, silky, and a manageable 1c texture.

She looks sooo young with it down, especially if it's styled.

Islandgrrl
September 4th, 2008, 02:26 PM
I'm guessing your mom is somewhere in the neighborhood of my age (late 40s). Good for her for deciding to go against convention and grow her hair.

I had short hair as a kid (like boy short) because my mom didn't want to have to deal with my hair - she told me the other night it was easier to cut it than to have to detangle it every day. Right. Okay. I grew it long (BSL, which for me was ultra long!) for the first time in High School, then cut it for a job because it was required. Grew it out again, super long (knee) when my kids were little ones. I whacked it all off again (pixie....will I NEVER learn???) just about 3 1/2 years ago, instantly regretted it and hopefully I've actually learned from my mistake!

I will be an old lady with long hair. Really long hair.

Tangles
September 4th, 2008, 02:31 PM
My hunch is that the more professionalized women became during the 20th century, the more hair was expected to be very "sharp".

Short hair is perky, brisk, and at least LOOKS no-nonsense.

Long hair CAN make you look tired if you wear it around your face all the time, no matter what your age, and I think the media uses this fact to scare older women. No one wants to be tired looking because that's not "professional." Well, personally, I'd rather have the cocker spaniel look and be happy than be "professional!"

DragonLady
September 4th, 2008, 02:35 PM
Every other time I grew my hair I always had the notion that anything longer than shoulder length just didn't look good on me. Now I'm learning that shoulder length itself is a bad phase for my particular hair and that if I can get it past shoulder that my hair should actually lay much nicer.

Yes, Yes, Yes!

I grew my hair out to shoulder length for the first time as a teen. I would curl it with a curling iron, and it looked good. But, then about armpit lenght, it looked scraggly and nasty. Now, I realize it was probably that damn curling iron!!! And of course, the blow dryer and the mousse and the hair spray. I never considered they were damaging. :(

So, I cut it to 2" and kept it that way for years. I never liked the look, but thought it was better than scraggly and raggedy. At least it was kempt and kept.

I grew it out again to shoulder when I had a job that was six and sometimes seven days a week. It just seemed like I never had any time for me, and so I neglected myself. But I learned again to like my hair longer.

Then I dyed it. :( :( :( And ended up cutting it back off.

I decided to try again, and now I'm at waist, and I just love it. Yes; I'm over 40, and yes, people have hinted I should cut it. But, it's also the first time in my life I've loved my hair. Strangely, it makes me feel better about my whole life. I'm happier with my looks and just more comfortable with myself than ever. Sadly, it comes as a package with the gray hairs and lost teeth -would that I had done this years ago.

But no, it's never too late. I look forward to longer and longer hair. I know now that it can look good, that it can be a style all it's own, and that it suits me just fine. Let the rest of the world spend their lives in the barber's chair always frowning at the latest disasterous cut or poorly-looking perm.

I'm finally free. :)

ClareDee
September 4th, 2008, 02:44 PM
MissHair, I agree with you totally re makeover shows. They do just chop off long hair for the sake of making a dramatic change. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with making someone look better.

Makeover shows annoy me for various reasons... I know they have the potential to really boost a person's self-image, and I like it when they transform a person who had previously lost all interest in their appearance, and had considered themselves a lost cause. What I hate is when they transform someone purely because she's officially been branded "out of date" by friends/family.

They'll take someone away from her eccentric and/or personally-important styles, and put her in something attractive but generic. That's sad... I have trouble maintaining any sort of individual 'style' so I admire anyone who has their own unique way of dressing/styling, whether it's "in fashion" or not. It sucks to see it undermined and taken from them.

Ramble over. Good luck to your mum on her hair quest ;)

Isilme
September 4th, 2008, 02:46 PM
Hehe, buy your mom nice hairtoys and offer her to take part when you order hairtoys for yourself. I bought my mom her first hairsticks today, an white pair in bone. Although she wouldn't let me pay them for her. And she'll take part in my flexi 8 order at the end of the month, birthday gift from dad to her.

Kirin
September 4th, 2008, 06:11 PM
I just recently turned 40...... and I have to say, the only "pressure" i have for "short hair for older women" is the media. No one has ever told me to cut my hair.. because i'm 40. No one.

Yet its all over TV.

Magicknthenight
September 4th, 2008, 06:22 PM
Yay for inspiring!! I think i may have inspired my grams. Shes in her 50's. Last time she went to get a trim i was sitting besides her talking to her and then when the stylist asked how much she said...as little as possible and then smiled at me. That was my first clue..since usually she lets them do whatever they want. Then she went into how excited she was that she could get it into a pony tail. :)
Then she turned the attention to my hair stick and complimented me and the stylist did too. Then she said she was growing it out! Yay!! Maybe i rubbed off onto her? I wonder how long she'll grow...:happydance:

harpgal
September 4th, 2008, 06:32 PM
Can anyone here above 50 share with us if this is something women in your age feel or if its the younger generation pressuring older women to cut it really short after a certain age? Or is it just a cultural thing?
MissHair, I am a bit over 50 and this cutting thing is something that is a part of my generation. So I guess you could say that it is cultural.

You must remember that many people feel more comfortable running with the herd. And today, the herd says we must have short hair at a certain age. I can understand why people (especially women) look down their noses at the rest of us who have long hair. It is partly envy and partly being turned off by anything that is "strange". *sigh*...oh well...

However, it really does not matter. We must be who we really are...nothing more and nothing less.

Long hair CAN make you look tired if you wear it around your face all the time, no matter what your age, and I think the media uses this fact to scare older women. No one wants to be tired looking because that's not "professional."
Tangles, I beg to differ. Wearing my hair down and around my face certainly doesn't make me feel tired nor do I think it makes me look tired. But it certainly does get in my way! :)

CrowningGlory
September 4th, 2008, 08:22 PM
I just recently turned 40...... and I have to say, the only "pressure" i have for "short hair for older women" is the media. No one has ever told me to cut my hair.. because i'm 40. No one.

Yet its all over TV.

I think it was a year or so before my 40th birthday that some colleagues were talking about how they believed that the older you get the shorter your hair needs to be. I thought their discussion was aimed at me and shortly afterwards I succumbed and cut my waist length hair back to somewhere above BSL. Their reaction? "It's nice but next time go shorter."

But I'd already decided that I'd made a mistake. I kept it at that length for a while before deciding to grow it out again 2 years ago after seeing a photo online of an older lady with gorgeous long silver hair. I decided then and there that was what I wanted for myself.

Why is the myth so widespread? Because too many of us are willing to believe anything that promises us youth and beauty. Even if it means cutting our hair.

MissHair
September 5th, 2008, 04:11 AM
Interesting comments, thanks everyone who replied. I agree with all of you.. Hopefully we can soon see a change.

young&reckless
September 5th, 2008, 09:20 AM
My grandmother is now keeping her hair longer again. I have turned her on to CV shampoo bars and oiling as well.

It is only fair, she is the one who taught me to do vinigar rinses years ago.

Gumball
September 5th, 2008, 10:50 AM
I think that inspiration is great. It's wonderful to hear someone understand that they don't entirely need to play into the social stigma regarding women of a certain age and onward really needing to shorten up. I think she could be very happy with her new decision! :rockerdud

Tangles
September 5th, 2008, 11:49 AM
MissHair, I am a bit over 50 and this cutting thing is something that is a part of my generation. So I guess you could say that it is cultural.

You must remember that many people feel more comfortable running with the herd. And today, the herd says we must have short hair at a certain age. I can understand why people (especially women) look down their noses at the rest of us who have long hair. It is partly envy and partly being turned off by anything that is "strange". *sigh*...oh well...

However, it really does not matter. We must be who we really are...nothing more and nothing less.

Tangles, I beg to differ. Wearing my hair down and around my face certainly doesn't make me feel tired nor do I think it makes me look tired. But it certainly does get in my way! :)

I meant that hair that is greasy after several days of not washing generally, or not oiled/styled in any way, often doesn't look good down. At least I don't look good unless my hair is fresh :)

What I'm saying is that many people aren't aware how much work long hair is and how hard it is to have it look good down; even though is IS very possible. So for that reason, people assume long hair will drag women down, when the truth is it only drags you down if it's not clean or in good condition that day.

tsc
September 5th, 2008, 02:48 PM
I wish I could do this with my mom. She and I have the same hair type, and she's had the same 'momcut' since I was about five. And while it looks fine on her, she's always regretted cutting her hair-- but says it's too much of a hassle to grow now.

vidgrl007
September 5th, 2008, 04:40 PM
sorry 4 the hijack:lady long locks you have the most beautiful hair.I went to your site and was blown away. even though my hair is still quit short you gave me some great ideas:).

Tressie
September 5th, 2008, 11:44 PM
Good for your MOM! I hate how they ALWAYS cut off participants' hair on those makeover shows! It doesn't always look better! I'm with Silver & Gold.....for those who don't like long hair on mature women.........."SO WHAT"! "Grow Baby Grow"!!!