long hair guys and family reactions?

[mxtt10589]

How did your family first react when you first decided to grow long hair, did they support you or were against you? if they were against long hair, did that opinion ever change? I'm still a 16 year old male and I keep my hair short to keep my mom happy, I've always wanted long hair and I hope to grow it out when I get to college. my dad grew out his hair a bit when he was younger and ok with me, but my mom and grandma are against it. My dad used to say that my grandma used to cut his hair short when he was asleep without him ever waking up. I don't want something like that ever happening to me, can anybody share their experience?

[EdG]

My parents were dead set against long hair on men.

I tried to grow my hair when I was in college, but the problem was that I had to come home at the end of each semester.

After I entered the workforce, I could finally grow long hair. My parents couldn't do anything except complain. The complaining finally stopped by the time I reached my early 40s, and my parents had become senior citizens. At those ages, continuing to complain about a son's hair length seemed rather comical.

You are going to have to do what your parents want until you are independent. Then, you can make up for the first 18-22 years of short hair by having long hair for the rest of your life. Good luck and welcome! :)
Ed

[MadameV]

Hi! Not male, but have known a lot of long haired men in my life.

My best friend started growing his out our sophomore year of college. His (rather conservative) mother freaked out a little bit when he went home. Nagged him about it, told him he'd have a hard time finding a job, threatened to cut it, etc. He tolerated it for the summer. Next summer he went back with pierced ears and a gf she thought wasn't good enough for him. Suddenly, she stopped mentioning his hair. Funny how that works.

[flemeister]

How did your family first react when you first decided to grow long hair, did they support you or were against you?

They were against it, but nothing drastic.


if they were against long hair, did that opinion ever change?

Nope, at least not yet. I hear less comments though, now that it's past shoulder length. :)

What about growing yours to a medium length for the time being? Something like 5-6 months of growth, then maintain at that length. If you've got a buzzcut or similar at the moment, that would mean a fringe/bangs just above your eyebrows, and a decent shag just above shoulder length and covering your ears. A nice headstart for when you decide to grow it out further. Would that be a decent compromise for everyone involved, if you're not keen on rocking the boat just yet?

[trolleypup]

I started growing longer in HS because it pissed my mom off. Then I found out I preferred long hair. She still doesn't like it. Dad is supportive, if only because he was bald by 35.

[Kwantslonghair]

I allowed my son to wear is hair however he wanted. He wore it shoulder length for a couple years and then decided he wanted it short.

[höpönasu]

My family had an urge to keep my hair in a very short bob. Back then (10 years ago) I didn't notice them controlling over my hair. When I was 15-16 I wanted to dye my hair partially black and my mom had nothing to say about it. I think she was even the one buying the dye.

[GoldFrappe]

My boyfriend has MBL hair. His parents don't care. His dad trims it for him and I try to keep it healthy. My mom makes fun of me for having a boyfriend with girly hair but hey, guys with long hair are attractive. :)

[tommyboy]

I grew mine out from pretty young, say 11 or 12, from a shaggy skater hair cut. Mostly I just stopped getting haircuts. My parents weren't worried about it, they worried more about school etc, though my mom made me take care of it so it looked presentable.

[Panth]

My entire immediate family has long hair. However, when my brother first grew his hair long my grandmother actually ended up (unbeknownst to him) having a forceful conversation with my grandfather about how he damned well is not going to criticise [brother's] hair when he next sees him. Erm, my grandparents are divorced and were barely on speaking terms at the time, so evidently it my grandmother thought my grandfather would say something pretty hurtful...

Anyway, from many long-haired male friends experiences (and, indeed, girls who wanted short hair but weren't allowed it) - you're probably going to have to put up with some stick for your hair choices. You may have to wait until you leave home, or at least have your own job. I suggest not rising to the baiting, and if it really gets bad to have a quiet, reasoned and even-tempered discussion sometime (preferably NOT after they've just been ribbing you) along the lines of "I know you don't like my hair and I accept that, but I'm finding the comments really hurtful. It's my body, my head, my hair ... surely your son is worth more than how he chooses to look."

You may have to throw in some comment about cutting it if you can't get a job after x months, for appeasement. (TBH, most of my long-haired male friends cut their hair when transitioning from undergrad to the job market. It is an unfortunate truth that (for most jobs) looking "normal" helps. However, most of them also grew their hair out again as soon as they got employed.)

Forceful cutting of someone's hair is technically abuse, but I doubt you'd get very far calling them out on it. I think it'd be best to have the reasoned discussion and hope that might convince them to respect your personal autonomy.

[PrincessBob]

Snuggles and one of his older brothers both have had long hair since their teens. He says he cannot even really remember what the familial reaction was. He thinks his dad would rather he have short hair, but the preference is mild if it is there. His mom is really easy going about long hair on guys, and I've never heard his father speak on the subject. His two eldest brothers were in the military and keep short or nonexistant hairstyles, but don't really seem to care one way or another about the two younger brothers' long hair styles.

I just trimmed his previously tailbone length hair to hip.

[MeAndTheMaz]

I've had long hair ever since I had a say in it. I think the most I ever suffered was "keep it out of your eyes".

If the OP is still hanging out here, I wonder if he ever actually talked to his mother. Perhaps they could work out some length they could both live with.

[Alun]

I am 56 and married with 2 kids, and one of them is now an adult, and my mum still doesn't like long hair. She's now 84. She used to send me for haircuts and I used to ask the barber to take off as little as possible. It took me decades to realise that she doesn't like hair longer than shoulders on anyone, male or female.

The odd thing is that my mum has never complained about my son's long hair.

My dad has never said anything about my hair, except that once he told me had compared notes with another guy and they both thought their sons would have grown out of their hairstyles, but we didn't. However, he seemed to be genuinely grateful that I only have long hair, whilst the other guy's son has green hair. This made me crack up laughing.