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View Full Version : Angry at myself! Ruined hair and PPD allergy (older thread)



missdelarocha
September 29th, 2013, 07:15 AM
So I'd grown my hair to APL maintaining my black colour with a semi permanent, it was a bit dryer on the ends and uneven but it was nice quality hair otherwise, then one day I thought I wanted a turquoise streak in my hair again.. I used bleach and it would not lift my hair enough in one application, I remembered my hair as being easier to lift, so I did repeated applications and it ruined my ends, still not achieving the results I desired. As soon as I begin messing with my colour or cut I get reckless! I can recognise that, I know things can be done safely but I sought instant gratification :(.
Then, after having to chop this section (which was a medium chunk of my most apparent length) I started drawing up headsheets as to how I would then cut the rest of my hair (hairdresser) because I had figured it could do with a trim. I had a nice blunt line but I decided that's not how I wanted it to look.. Now it became about needing to be a specific layered style and not about health, I left it a certain way for a couple days and proceeded to cut it shorter, so it became like an asymmetric pixie cut, not only that but now my turquoise had washed out and the dye had run out! So I went over with red, obviously the turquoise was not washed out enough and the red took on a muddy shade in my fringe.

My regret/remorse were in high drive now and just kept leading me to do more destructive things to my hair, I decided to lighten the whole thing which hurt my scalp quite a bit, then proceed to colour it twice with a semi permanent and then with a permanent colour to a level 6, I had to completely cut out the section I previously lightened in my fringe and by my nape so now I didn't even have the fringe I love to have.. I think that's the worst, I have no hair around my face and now my hair is all short in the back and totally dried out.
To add to that my lymph nodes have all popped up and are very sore around my head and I have a sore throat.. I think that the permanent colour has given me an allergic reaction :(. I've always had a bad immune system and it just seems to get worse and more sensitive with everything I do!!

I'm really sorry for this rant, I just feel quite upset about the whole thing, it's physically and mentally affecting me.
Not to mention facing a social identity issue with my no longer black hair, some people have complimented me but some are saying they like it longer, I already expressed I don't like it, it's not like I can grow it out instantly! My hair is naturally very shiny and I've just lost absolutely all shine, it's like straw. I used to love my hair and now I feel really unattractive.

:'(
I've ordered some clip ins as a desperate measure just to add some length onto my fringe side. I was planning to completely grow out my hair with my natural hair colour anyway I just didn't expect it to go like this..


I guess if anybody has a story to share and how they dealt or just your ideas or any contribution at all I would really appreciate it. :blossom:

lapushka
September 29th, 2013, 07:21 AM
I'm sorry, this all sounds quite terrible! :( But, you know there's only one person to blame here, and (I'm *very* sad to say) it's you. At one time in my life I experimented like that as well, and the results were equally as terrible, if not worse. I ended up with a burnt scalp, and a chemical cut. My hair was supposed to be a light brown but turned out the blackest black due to overprocessing and the hair being too porous. I learned my lesson, and proceeded to grow it out from damage. It took quite some time, but... there's only one thing and that is patience and... to stop "messing" with your hair, obviously!

Hope your hair recovers in due time, and the best of luck to you! :flower:

Firefox7275
September 29th, 2013, 07:24 AM
Very sorry to read this. If you ever get the urge again, at last hold off long enough to run skin patch and hair strand tests before each treatment even if not a new product. Proven beneficial ingredients for colour damaged hair include coconut oil, hydrolysed protein, ceramides, 18-MEA and panthenol - with perseverance these can reduce porosity, increase elasticity, patch repair surface damage, penetrate and strengthen, bring back some of the shine. Do protect your hair religiously from the sun.

You might be best seeing your family doctor about the possible reaction. It is possible to reduce the frequency or severity of certain inappropriate immune responses (NOT severe ones like anaphylaxis) with an anti inflammatory nutrient dense wholefood diet. Also my incidence of contact dermatitis dropped to just one in over two and a half years (to a prescribed eye drop known for irritancy) having quit using all sulphate surfactants - hair dye, shampoo, shower gel, aqueous cream, toothpaste, hand wash - these are proven to thin and dehydrate the skin at concentrations as low as 1% so can pre-sensitise.

embee
September 29th, 2013, 09:05 AM
Sorry you had such a horrid mess-up. The only really nasty thing I did was a chop which seemed to take *forever* to grow out enough for bunning.

Maybe get pictures of the disaster, keep them in a folder, look at them every now and then just to keep the memory clear. I kept the chopped off part and when I get the urge I look at it again. I was very sad for quite some time.

woodswanderer
September 29th, 2013, 09:18 AM
So sorry you are having such a horrible time. I haven't done anything like this to my hair, but it does remind me of times when I get angry and just have talk to someone without thinking it through first, or just have to pick off a scab, etc.

SleepyTangles
September 29th, 2013, 09:39 AM
We all turned our hair into a mess at least once in our life:blossom:! Don't feel stupid and take your time to mourn the gone lenght. When you feel like doing it again, come to this board and let someone remember this to you, or talk you out of the decision.

I tried to cut my bangs myself once (straight, blunt ones). I spent the rest of the year going around with the most ridicolous bangs ever, like two centimeters of blunt bangs (a bit uneven too!), that i straightened to its last millimeter because i needed it to be as long as possible. Since this wasn't enough, I started using hair bands to smush them against my forehead.
This was also the second year I was chemically dying my hair, so it was ruined, full of splits and washed out.
Ps - I insisted on saying that I cut it that short on purpose... THAT was the most ridicolous part, trust me :lol:!

My rule when I do a mistake is: stop immediatly and go to bed, don't touch it anymore. Then, the following morning, try to decide what is the most harmless thing to do. If I act on the moment, I'm really dangerous.

seeker
September 29th, 2013, 09:43 AM
Don't beat yourself up too bad. We all do things in life we wish that we hadn't done. See this as a learning opportunity and then promise yourself to never do it again. Hang in there and here's to happy healthy hair in no time!

spidermom
September 29th, 2013, 09:58 AM
At least with a short cut, it won't take long to grow enough new healthy hair to replace all your current length and cut off the damage. So sorry; that's really all you can do. I had to keep my hair short-short for a few months to get rid of all perm damage years ago, and I did my best to enjoy the advantages of having short hair and all the styling options I could find as it grew. It's not so bad. I know it seems to take forever while you're going through it, but time flies and your hair will be grown back out before you know it. You'll realize that in the future when you look back.

Federica
September 29th, 2013, 12:45 PM
I feel your pain, I know how hard is to grow hair back after you distroyed it.
Many people here does also, so you're in a good company.
I think that many people get here after hair disasters, everybody have to start at some point.
I bleached and bleached and bleached my classic lenght hair (already dyed, but healthy) until it has literally fallen in pieces, and I had to cut off almost the 2/3 of the damage to a messy BSL cut.
Yes, I know, BSL it's already a good lenght, but all the bleach damage was still there and it took many years to grow out.
But here's one good thing about hair: it re-grows. You just have to stop with all that bleach/heat and chemical stuff. It's a downward spiral, trust me. Just let it grow back and try to enjoy the new short cut: the shorter your hair is, the most you'll notice the growth, and in a couple of months it will look better.
I encourage you to talk to a doctor about your allergic disturbs anyway :)

Don't hate yourself nor your hair, just try to take good care of both :)

McFearless
September 29th, 2013, 08:16 PM
Aw I'm sorry to hear this. :grouphug: I've destroyed my hair too, multiple times with an assortment of dyes, excessive heat, rough treatment, etc. I've managed to grow my hair long and now I'm starting the process all over again. It is possible with the right care and patience.

BlazingHeart
September 29th, 2013, 09:46 PM
I think that the awful short cut borders on being a right of passage, especially for women. Mine was when I was a sophomore in high school; it was meant to be a pixie but looked AWFUL, and stayed looking awful for about 3-4 months, until it had grown out enough to look better. I'm sorry you're there now - for all that it seems like everyone does this sort of thing at least once, that doesn't help a whole lot when you're in the middle of it!

In the future, you might want to try what's known as the 'two week rule'. It's a pretty common practice around here. If you feel like you want to make a change, you sit on it and think about it for two weeks, and if at the end of that time you still want it, then you do it. It can help with the need to keep frantically trying to fix your hair when you don't like it, because you have enough time to reflect and figure out what is most likely to actually make you happier.

missdelarocha
September 30th, 2013, 01:51 AM
Sorry this is quite long I wanted to get back to everyone, thanks for your support. :grouphug: Here are some :skittles:.


I'm sorry, this all sounds quite terrible! But, you know there's only one person to blame here, and (I'm *very* sad to say) it's you. At one time in my life I experimented like that as well, and the results were equally as terrible, if not worse. I ended up with a burnt scalp, and a chemical cut. My hair was supposed to be a light brown but turned out the blackest black due to overprocessing and the hair being too porous. I learned my lesson, and proceeded to grow it out from damage. It took quite some time, but... there's only one thing and that is patience and... to stop "messing" with your hair, obviously!

Hope your hair recovers in due time, and the best of luck to you!

I know, I totally accept that and I think that's why it upsets me because I feel after having done so many stupid things to my hair in the past, I think I have a lot more knowledge now but I still was very destructive. I've never grown it past APL, it's just annoying but now I feel really strongly about letting it grow and hopefully that will stay the case :).
I totally agree we learn some lessons in patience with ourselves.


Very sorry to read this. If you ever get the urge again, at last hold off long enough to run skin patch and hair strand tests before each treatment even if not a new product. Proven beneficial ingredients for colour damaged hair include coconut oil, hydrolysed protein, ceramides, 18-MEA and panthenol - with perseverance these can reduce porosity, increase elasticity, patch repair surface damage, penetrate and strengthen, bring back some of the shine. Do protect your hair religiously from the sun.

You might be best seeing your family doctor about the possible reaction. It is possible to reduce the frequency or severity of certain inappropriate immune responses (NOT severe ones like anaphylaxis) with an anti inflammatory nutrient dense wholefood diet. Also my incidence of contact dermatitis dropped to just one in over two and a half years (to a prescribed eye drop known for irritancy) having quit using all sulphate surfactants - hair dye, shampoo, shower gel, aqueous cream, toothpaste, hand wash - these are proven to thin and dehydrate the skin at concentrations as low as 1% so can pre-sensitise.

I definitely need to be more careful with chemicals etc, as you can probably tell I can become a bit careless or frustrated with my own hair (and other things). I'm sitting with coconut oil on my hair right now! Are the bolded ingredients found seperately or generally combined in a product? Any product recommendations? :) I'm glad to hear you found a solution for your dermatitis, I used to suffer with it when I was doing hairdressing.


Sorry you had such a horrid mess-up. The only really nasty thing I did was a chop which seemed to take *forever* to grow out enough for bunning.

Maybe get pictures of the disaster, keep them in a folder, look at them every now and then just to keep the memory clear. I kept the chopped off part and when I get the urge I look at it again. I was very sad for quite some time.

That's a good idea, that and I'll also keep a photo of my hair longer as motivation to keep going!


So sorry you are having such a horrible time. I haven't done anything like this to my hair, but it does remind me of times when I get angry and just have talk to someone without thinking it through first, or just have to pick off a scab, etc.

It's exactly like that haha, it is careless and possibly obsessive.


We all turned our hair into a mess at least once in our life:blossom:! Don't feel stupid and take your time to mourn the gone lenght. When you feel like doing it again, come to this board and let someone remember this to you, or talk you out of the decision.

I tried to cut my bangs myself once (straight, blunt ones). I spent the rest of the year going around with the most ridicolous bangs ever, like two centimeters of blunt bangs (a bit uneven too!), that i straightened to its last millimeter because i needed it to be as long as possible. Since this wasn't enough, I started using hair bands to smush them against my forehead.
This was also the second year I was chemically dying my hair, so it was ruined, full of splits and washed out.
Ps - I insisted on saying that I cut it that short on purpose... THAT was the most ridicolous part, trust me :lol:!

My rule when I do a mistake is: stop immediatly and go to bed, don't touch it anymore. Then, the following morning, try to decide what is the most harmless thing to do. If I act on the moment, I'm really dangerous.

Thank you so much, I even wish someone had hidden the scissors and dye from me but it's totally up to me and I want to be in control (positively) in situations like that.
Hahaha, sounds like the many things I've done as well. That last line really stands out for me, it definitely won't get better if you won't leave it alone especially when you're not 100% where you're going. Thanks for the advice.


Don't beat yourself up too bad. We all do things in life we wish that we hadn't done. See this as a learning opportunity and then promise yourself to never do it again. Hang in there and here's to happy healthy hair in no time!

:D I have promised myself, thank you!


I feel your pain, I know how hard is to grow hair back after you distroyed it.
Many people here does also, so you're in a good company.
I think that many people get here after hair disasters, everybody have to start at some point.
I bleached and bleached and bleached my classic lenght hair (already dyed, but healthy) until it has literally fallen in pieces, and I had to cut off almost the 2/3 of the damage to a messy BSL cut.
Yes, I know, BSL it's already a good lenght, but all the bleach damage was still there and it took many years to grow out.
But here's one good thing about hair: it re-grows. You just have to stop with all that bleach/heat and chemical stuff. It's a downward spiral, trust me. Just let it grow back and try to enjoy the new short cut: the shorter your hair is, the most you'll notice the growth, and in a couple of months it will look better.
I encourage you to talk to a doctor about your allergic disturbs anyway

Don't hate yourself nor your hair, just try to take good care of both

I do think a lot of people come seeking knowledge usually after a mistake as well, but I've already made mistakes before and joined years ago that's why I feel I should know better, oh well.
Congratulations on having the patience to grow yours out and thank you, I will take better care :).


Aw I'm sorry to hear this. :grouphug: I've destroyed my hair too, multiple times with an assortment of dyes, excessive heat, rough treatment, etc. I've managed to grow my hair long and now I'm starting the process all over again. It is possible with the right care and patience.

At least we're in the right place, I know that I can come here for support, advice, knowledge and to help others. :o


I think that the awful short cut borders on being a right of passage, especially for women. Mine was when I was a sophomore in high school; it was meant to be a pixie but looked AWFUL, and stayed looking awful for about 3-4 months, until it had grown out enough to look better. I'm sorry you're there now - for all that it seems like everyone does this sort of thing at least once, that doesn't help a whole lot when you're in the middle of it!

In the future, you might want to try what's known as the 'two week rule'. It's a pretty common practice around here. If you feel like you want to make a change, you sit on it and think about it for two weeks, and if at the end of that time you still want it, then you do it. It can help with the need to keep frantically trying to fix your hair when you don't like it, because you have enough time to reflect and figure out what is most likely to actually make you happier.

Apparently I don't learn that after just once haha, but it is better to get it out of the way and realise your hairs limits, sometimes I just want to try everything once before settling down but my hairs health won't permit that! Certainly, I need to implement a two week rule from now until five years when my hair has grown out haha, no thank you I completely agree.

CremeTron
March 31st, 2014, 05:33 AM
I just wanted to say *hugs* and I understand exactly what you are talking about. I do this too. Every 1-2 years I do something drastic around cutting or colouring. And like clockwork it goes wrong and needs several adjustments to "make right". I normally end up with very short or hair with multiple applications of bleach and dye within the same week. Not good.

I had to reply as I fought this temptation this past weekend actually. I last dyed and bleached my hair about 2 years ago. And I was itching, I mean almost LITERALLY itching for a change. I crazy coloured my hair- just a small part with blue and then purple. The blue just toned my hair but the purple interacted with my blonde ends and looked burgundy and I really didn't like it but it would not wash out no matter what I tried as my ends are very porous. So... out came the bleach and a trip to the shop to get dye. But thankfully at the last minute I realised that the result would need tweaking and tweaking and that I would have to start my new job with really bad looking hair and so I did not the bleach/ dye. Soooo happy about that.

Today I had the urge to just cut the dyed bits off as they feel dry and a bit frizzy and my new hair is such better quality and feels nicer to handle. I probably would have made mistakes and had to cut very short again. 3 times in 11 years I have cut to 2 inches or thereabouts due to this sort of thing.

I distracted myself with YouTube. Then I read this and I felt so so bad for you.

I am so happy you have received support and encouragement as I can imagine you really need it here. Never heard of the 2 week rule before but I certainly hope you and I will follow it from now!!!!!

I hope the healing and re growing process goes smoothly for you. We are kind of in the same boat as if I stopped tinkering with my hair over the years it would be much longer and healthier.

Of the Fae
March 31st, 2014, 03:59 PM
I maintained the two week rule and still regretted it very much XD man I have so many screw-ups I cannot even begin to sum them up, the most recent one being me cutting my BSL almost MBL hair up into a crisis-mohawk.
I felt great for a month or so and after that wishes I never did it.
Stay on the boards and gaze at healthy hair, that helps :) And talk to me XD
I've never had really long hair due to impulsive bleach spasms and so forth, so every two or three years I get a pixie.
Hoping to break the habit and stick to beautiful henna :)

Good luck, you know you can do it if you really want to :) Oil, baby and put it up!

CremeTron
March 31st, 2014, 05:05 PM
Oil, baby and put it up!

Exactly such good advice. Since one side of my hair is burgundy I had to do this today and I see it can only do me good

ErinLeigh
March 31st, 2014, 07:52 PM
I hate when I ruin my hair. I have done it many times. Home cuts, home color, home bleach.
I had to shave my head once and another time I had to cut a chin length bob with the back shaved up. I find sometimes for me its easiest to just go get it cut to a style I can at least live with, or one that looks "intentional" and then just let it grow from there. That way i feel ok now (even though I mourn my old old hair) and do not have a daily reminder of what I did to it.
I get it fixed then let it grow fresh. It feels like a fresh start that way.

What does you hair look now now? Is it a bob? I think I am missing what the final result is. What is the color, cut and length?

I could share some real hair horror stories myself so I can totally relate to you frustration. For me its even worse having to face everyone after I do it.
I am actually dealing with a messed up situation right now myself and it sucks to have to "start over" once again. I totally get it.

On a flip side, I used to do crazy damage to my face that filled me with regret. I started breaking out late in life (mid twenites) and did not know how to deal with it. I would pick at my acne and cause horrible scarring. It was so embarrassing yet I would keep doing it. I would wake up with all these marks and scars and it was all my fault yet I kept going. I know every time I touch my face it will scar, yet I still do it. Then comes the depression and regret from the reality of what I did. During times like these you really have to just stay away from mirrors.

Anytime you get the urge to mess with you hair just do a deep condition, oil it and bun it. Get is out of sight and out of mind. It is the only way to bypass the urges.

ErinLeigh
March 31st, 2014, 08:12 PM
I just wanted to say *hugs* and I understand exactly what you are talking about. I do this too. Every 1-2 years I do something drastic around cutting or colouring. And like clockwork it goes wrong and needs several adjustments to "make right". I normally end up with very short or hair with multiple applications of bleach and dye within the same week. Not good.



I could have written this. It is so my story too.
I think we all can truly relate to what you are going thru OP. It is so hard. I love seeing so many post to support you. Soon you are going to have what makes you happy. Even just getting you current hair back to feeling healthy will make things so much better. A lot can be done now to just get the softness and shine back. Give it good treatments using the ingredients firefox posted and you will see some noticeable changes.

OP in answer to you question about ingredients being in one product... I found all of the ones firefox listed in the Redken Extreme Builder Plus Deep treatment.(the one in a jar not the bottle, that one is different) It had the hydrolyzed protein, ceramides, 18-MEA plus palm oil. ( I will check about the panthenol being in there but I use a leave in with it so I am covered either way.)
I bought the Redken on Amazon. I do an overnight coconut oil soak, wash hair then put that on for 30 minutes. It helped so much. I never would have known about it if she has not posted a thread about the ingredients so I am just sharing the information.

RachelRose
January 4th, 2015, 12:45 AM
Oh my :( don't feel bad I double processed my hair one day from dark brown to platinum blonde (hey the hair model looked good with it lol) and needless to say when the hairstylist went to style it it fizzled like a flame was taken to it . I had cotton candy hair . I had a filler(?) put on it and had it dyed back brown but the color would fade it to greenish gray . Over and over and over . It was the saddest thing that my poor hair has ever endured :( so in closing I feel your pain and this too shall pass . As for the hair allergy I used to dye my hair black as well and my scalp started acting up so I switched to henna and it's kept me away from the Chem dyes for going on 4 years :)