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Chrissy
September 3rd, 2008, 04:47 AM
Hi everyone. I've just been reading away on the hair board and noticed a trend of sorts over the years. Most of the time when people post pics of their hair there is always a negative description. Not totally negative but things said like it looks such and such a way. I just wanted to say most of the time I've seen pics you all have great hair! I never notice any of the stuff people mention.

This is just my way of encouraging you all that your hair is beautiful! Be proud of it and continue taking great care of it. I really enjoy the update pics and new growth etc pics. Love your hair and don't be so critical of it.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Rini
September 3rd, 2008, 04:53 AM
Good point. And I'm guilty of this :o

I guess it's a bit like being comfortable with any part of your body. It's very hard, and especially when you are always looking at other beautiful images (ie the glorious hair on these boards). It's hair anorexia isn't it?

I am trying to be less self-critical though. It gets better with age :eyebrows:

sexyjacksparrow
September 3rd, 2008, 05:54 AM
I'm guilty of it too. If I get a hair compliment here, it's my automatic reponse to say 'yeah, but...' especially when I think the other person's hair is nicer than mine in some way.

We should all celebrate our hair!

Kerry xx

Amoretti
September 3rd, 2008, 06:03 AM
Good post. I must say though that I've come a long way in accepting and liking my hair. I used to moan about it all the time but now I just ignore it. LOL.

tiny_teesha
September 3rd, 2008, 06:08 AM
I'm also guilty of this (i'm pretty sure i am!)
And yes, people! YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!
Such a lovely thought and thread to start! :)

Little_Bird
September 3rd, 2008, 06:48 AM
Great beautyfull words! I think it's true two! We are our worst judjes... We see things that to other people don't exist.

Thank you! :flowers: That did make a sense on my day!

sipnsun
September 3rd, 2008, 06:55 AM
What a nice thread to start. I agree that we are too critical of ourselves, I guess it's just human nature. Even now I'm agreeing with you on everyone else's hair being so beautiful and still thinking mine is too fine and thin!

Chrissy
September 3rd, 2008, 09:20 AM
Yeah! Thanks for joining in and celebrating your hair.

florenonite
September 3rd, 2008, 09:31 AM
This is very true. People compliment my hair, and I think "but it's too short, it's too frizzy, to straight, too wavy, etc." It's like that children's book ("Old Hat, New Hat", or some such thing) where the main character wants a new hat, but they're all too short, too tall, too spotty, too stripy, etc. He eventually ends up choosing his old hat over all the ones in the store.

RedRose
September 3rd, 2008, 11:51 AM
Chrissy, you are so right. I for one need some sense knocking into my BEAUTIFUL-HAIR-covered-head! In a way I think that society has made us believe that we must always refuse compliments -"no, no, this old thing?" - and that being pleased with your appearance means that you are shallow and vain, and it's just not true! We should feel proud of ourselves, and our own unique beauty, and celebrate when our hair is looking amazing (after all, we put so much care into it!).

I hope in future I can learn to take compliments in the spirit they were given, as someone's truthful opinion and feel flattered, and that others take mine in the same way.

Also, I would just like to mention how much I love the sisterhood (and brotherhood!) feeling of the LHC. I find that a lot of girls of my generation see each other as rivals, and even some friends will publicly put you down. I love and am so grateful that here everyone is very supportive of others, and that all different kinds of beautiful hair are celebrated for being that, instead of conforming to one image. Long live beautiful hair!

Brilliant thread Chrissy :)

ChloeDharma
September 3rd, 2008, 02:52 PM
I'm loving the energy of this thread!

I totally agree with you, i see people insult themselves and think "are we looking at the same picture???!!!" I'm guilty of rejecting compliments, and only seeing the bad things about my hair. I'm getting much better with that now though :)

RedRose.....I know exactly what you mean about the solidarity, though i have to say, if you have so-called friends who put you down, you need a new set. I don't have any friends who do this, and if one did they wouldn't do it twice. You deserve friends who boost you and appreciate you hun :flower:

Samikha
September 3rd, 2008, 03:00 PM
Great thread! I'm glad someone is putting down the downputters :D It's very unhealthy, but also very common - I've noticed the same in some art communities I've been a part of. If you never say what you are proud of, why keep at it? Doesn't this mean that you have a negative attitude and would be better off without it? Maybe hair is like plants, thriving on positive words. Better than negative ones, anyway!

jojo
September 3rd, 2008, 05:16 PM
What a lovely thread. I think its human nature to feel embarrassed and self conscience of compliments, so we kind of say the negatives ourselves as a defense mechanism to protect our feelings.

When I was larger I would always get in the fact I was overweight first in conversations, make a joke of it and such. My rationale behind this was it would upset me dearly if somebody else mentioned it.

I suppose with my hair, I am far too much a perfectionist and in the real world none of us are perfect, we are all unique. Also when surrounded by such beautiful lengths it does make me find fault.

But you 100% right, we should celebrate our hair, kinks, frizz and not be afraid of saying 'you know what i actually quite like my hair!'

Thank you Chrissie for bringing this up as it has certainly given me time to reflect and be more positive about the things I actually do like about my hair in the future.

walkinglady
September 3rd, 2008, 05:25 PM
Very good thread! I do have to say that with age I've learned to love my hair and be less critical of it.

ChloeDharma
September 3rd, 2008, 05:54 PM
Great thread! I'm glad someone is putting down the downputters :D It's very unhealthy, but also very common - I've noticed the same in some art communities I've been a part of. If you never say what you are proud of, why keep at it? Doesn't this mean that you have a negative attitude and would be better off without it? Maybe hair is like plants, thriving on positive words. Better than negative ones, anyway!

I am so glad you mentioned this, i've actually been giving it a bit of thought myself recently, though for a while now i've been thinking on theories about positive thinking, visualisation and hair growth.
Not long ago i was talking to another member about my increase in thickness.....and i was saying that any hair practices, brushing, massaging, oiling etc i had been doing with intent. Obviously i can't say for sure if it definately did anything.....but it definately can't be a bad thing to do.

On the topic of hair compliments.....Jojo, your new siggy pic looks fantastic! So glossy and shiny and wow hasn't it grown! That rhubarb experiment i think must be a keeper, the colour is stunning!

spidermom
September 3rd, 2008, 05:57 PM
You mean, like, OMG! Look how frizzy!

dorothea-brooke
September 3rd, 2008, 06:23 PM
You mean, like, OMG! Look how frizzy!

Hee hee! Now, I look at that pic and think, Gah! Look at that amazing thickness and those waves!

More proof for Chrissy's thesis. :)

Thanks for starting this, Chrissy.... It is a lovely thread. :flower:

CaityBear
September 3rd, 2008, 06:29 PM
I agree; everybody here has great hair. I'm jealous of all the hip length people. I want my hip length hair! :( lol

I guess I'm kind of bad for the negative thoughts about my hair, but it's not usually too bad. My most common thought: My hair isn't long enough!!! lol

dorothea-brooke
September 3rd, 2008, 06:33 PM
I agree; everybody here has great hair. I'm jealous of all the hip length people. I want my hip length hair! :( lol

I guess I'm kind of bad for the negative thoughts about my hair, but it's not usually too bad. My most common thought: My hair isn't long enough!!! lol

I agree -- most of my negative thoughts are simply about length -- which time, of course, will remedy.

I hope.

ChloeDharma
September 3rd, 2008, 06:40 PM
You mean, like, OMG! Look how frizzy!

Honestly, some people don't know they are born!

No hun, not "how frizzy" More like "how thick, and long, and what a beautiful colour and wave pattern!" Don't make me cyber-slap you! :p :flower:

Jemoiselle
September 3rd, 2008, 07:29 PM
Hi Ladies,

I'm new here, so I hope you don't mind me diving right in :) I think this is the perfect place to start. My name is Jessie aka Jemoiselle, I am a classic perpetrator of this type of behavior; and I want to stop, right now, today and forever.
Thank you for bringing up such an important issue! All my life, I've always wanted hair as long as mine is now (TB). I've been so close at times throughout my childhood, but like a body-dysmorphic I always told myself it was short, so I never saw it for it's true beauty until I got a little older, and looked back after I cut it to a bob!

Back then, I was a different person. I hid behind thick makeup to cover up my freckles, wore non-prescription green colored contacts because I hated my pale grey-blue eyes, I dyed my long (still short in my blinded eyes) reddish brown hair bleach blonde so that I would be "pretty" because "gentlemen prefer blondes". I plucked my perfectly fine eyebrows pencil thin and got permanent cosmetics to make them always look perfect.
I feverishly searched for the perfect self tanner to make my pale ivory skin look golden. Let me tell you, the media sucks!!! Thank God I met my Husband, who little by little helped me learn to love myself for who I really am inside and out. I cut off all my damaged hair, let the natural color grow all the way out, stopped the contact wearing, let the brows grow back (boy was THAT hard!) eased up on the makeup to allow my natural self to lead instead of the makeup leading...and a few years later voila. Normal person hehe.

I know this is a little off the topic of accepting compliments, but I thought it might be of benefit to divulge. Not only should we celebrate our own natural beauty, and embrace it, and LOVE ourselves like we love our Mothers, kids, spouses whomever---we should stop looking to others to tell us what beauty is to begin with. We already know, we just have to look within our hearts and then into a mirror. The look of internal peace and self confidence is stunning on anyone. As for the compliments, a simple heartfelt "Thank you so much!" will be my next reply. Thanks for the reminder ;)

Ok I'm done. Just had to say it~it's nice to meet you all. I look forward to knowing the Sisterhood you all speak so fondly of.

Always,
Jemoiselle

nastasska
September 3rd, 2008, 07:34 PM
You are so right.We tend most often to focus on what we think is wrong with our appearance.In a way I think society encourages us to have a negative view of ourselves for example if we say something actually good about ourselves other people sort of jump on you for being vain or boastful nobody praises you for being in any way proud of yourself.
There's even an expression about pride coming before a fall.It's no wonder so many of us are paranoid especially about our appearance.

ChloeDharma
September 3rd, 2008, 08:25 PM
Jemoiselle, fabulous post, and so nice to hear your husband encouraged you like that! Welcome to LHC :waving: :flower:

Emichiee
September 3rd, 2008, 10:22 PM
Guess I'm guilty too...I keep saying how thin my lengths are...I mean they really are but I realize people are thinking I am being silly about it. So maybe I should just keep quiet sometimes..:(

ChloeDharma
September 3rd, 2008, 11:07 PM
Guess I'm guilty too...I keep saying how thin my lengths are...I mean they really are but I realize people are thinking I am being silly about it. So maybe I should just keep quiet sometimes..:(

I don't think keeping quiet is really the point being argued, i think it's more about realising that your hair actually is beautiful, and yours really is....i know i often see it down in your pic and think how lucky i would feel if mine looked that perfect.

*BelievingAgain
September 4th, 2008, 12:21 AM
What a lovely post/thread. It's so true, but it can be so hard when you get caught up in your own thoughts and can't take in the encouragements of others. Thanks Chrissy, and everyone else who is participating! :flower:

Chrissy
September 4th, 2008, 04:16 AM
On the length issue I noticed even when mine was at it's longest it still seemed not that long. You kind of get used to the length over time. Right now I'm trying to enjoy where I am now on the way to where I'm going! I'm glad I inspired you all to love your hair where it is at the moment. You all are beautiful!!

Dolly
September 4th, 2008, 04:53 AM
On the length issue I noticed even when mine was at it's longest it still seemed not that long. You kind of get used to the length over time.


I had this same sort of realization lately.....I went in for a small trim, and I was of the mindset that my hair isn't "that long". Well, my hairdresser asked me if I could stand up while she trimmed the length, because she didn't want to get it crooked by having it laying across the chair back.


I have always had a love-hate relationship with my hair, especially since I started growing it out, and letting it go natural. I used to keep it permed, but after I had my son (who is now 9), it would not hold a curl. So, I have been dealing with stick straight, baby fine, thin hair that won't do anything except lay there. I tried hot rollers, caruso steam rollers, mousse, gel, spray, and everything else, and could never get any curl or body into it. Any style would fall out in 15 min or less. I am not good at doing buns or twists or anything, so it was either let it lay there or stick it in a ponytail.

But, I decided that even if it wouldn't do what I wanted it to, I would try to at least get it as healthy as it could be. Stopped using shampoos with SLS, went with the CO method (now am hooked on CV bars), do not use heated styling tools, and the only "bad" thng I do is chemically dye it. But the dye is similar to my natural color, but red (mine is naturally dark brown). But, was soooooo bored with it, and ready to chop it off!

BUT, after reading a ton of the posts on here, I decided to try something new. I did a wet set, something that I had not ever done. Well, look at my avatar! That is MY hair! A headful of spiral curls, with no damage caused!!!!

Now, I am deciding that my hair is pretty darn nice. It is healthy (unlike when it was being fried with perms), and is still growing......I need to count my blessings.....

OK, sorry for rambling......:o

Strongnlong
September 4th, 2008, 05:07 AM
Chrissy, you're right on the money!

It's a rare day when i'm not totally in love with my hair. I generally don't post or comment when there is even a hint of negativity towards oneself or others in thread as I try to surround myself in positivity most of the time.