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View Full Version : Is this a compliment or an insult?!



Nes
September 2nd, 2008, 08:52 PM
So I was in the body shop at the weekend buying condish, and the shop assistant came over and asked if I needed help.

I was standing there reading the back of the bottle and she grabbed my hair by the nape of my neck and ran her hand down the length (it was in a ponytail). Luckily I don't mind too much people touching my hair.

She said "incredible, your hair is like a horses mane"

Is this a compliment or an insult? :confused:

I just kind of smiled at her and walked off. Which do you think it is? I kind of thought it was an insult, like she was saying it was really coarse or something, but I tend to think the worst about myself!

Nes x

Gumball
September 2nd, 2008, 08:54 PM
I'd have to say it was a compliment. Whenever I've seen horses the manes were always looking beautiful, long and flowing. Maybe that's the first thing their mind could equate it to. Long, flowing, and down right pretty! Now if they said it's a bird's nest... That could be taken quite differently. :)

Chromis
September 2nd, 2008, 08:55 PM
Since it was prefaced by the word "Incredible" I'd say compliment!

AJoifulNoise
September 2nd, 2008, 09:04 PM
I'd vote for compliment, too. It sounds like it was said in awe.

jojo
September 2nd, 2008, 09:09 PM
definitely a compliment! thought id be insulted if somebody just grabbed my hair like that but thats just me!

mrs carol
September 2nd, 2008, 09:10 PM
I agree, I think she meant it as a compliment.

AJoifulNoise
September 2nd, 2008, 09:12 PM
definitely a compliment! thought id be insulted if somebody just grabbed my hair like that but thats just me!

I don't know if I'd be insulted, but depending on my mood they'd either scare the heck out of me or wind up on the floor.

GlassEyes
September 2nd, 2008, 09:14 PM
I'd go with compliment.

Some people use horse hair for extensions, you know, because ti resembles human hair. It's actually really nice. xD

jojo
September 2nd, 2008, 09:18 PM
I don't know if I'd be insulted, but depending on my mood they'd either scare the heck out of me or wind up on the floor.

I have a thing about hygiene and people not washing their hands after using the toilet, i think it stems from there. Maybe insulted is the wrong word but I hate anybody touching my hair without asking!:D

a12345
September 2nd, 2008, 09:18 PM
I'd say a compliment, albeit a somewhat strange one. But when in doubt, whinny and then bite! :eyebrows:

Tashomani
September 2nd, 2008, 09:19 PM
A compliment for sure....some people just do not have any manners though.......just walking up and 'grabbing' your hair like that.......ALTHOUGH...I do not think they mean any insult at all....IMO....because my own sister did this and I know her and she certainly did not mean anything ugly......Come to think of it, my own grown daughter did it too, recently...I think they are surprised that I have let my hair grow out this long!

AJoifulNoise
September 2nd, 2008, 09:20 PM
I have a thing about hygiene and people not washing their hands after using the toilet, i think it stems from there. Maybe insulted is the wrong word but I hate anybody touching my hair without asking!:D

Oh, I definately don't want strange fingers in my hair. shudder: Actually, there are few known fingers that I want in my hair...

josie4
September 2nd, 2008, 09:20 PM
I live next door to someone who boards horses (there are horses all over my neighborhood, actually). Whenever I see the horses out I always notice their beautiful, shiny manes. I think it was a compliment, especially since she said 'Incredible'.

Nes
September 2nd, 2008, 09:35 PM
when in doubt, whinny and then bite! :eyebrows:

Hahaha that made me laugh! I so should have neighed at her!!

I didn't realise horses manes were nice and shiny. I'm a city girl and haven't seen a horse in years!

I was a bit shocked as I didn't notice she was touching my hair until I turned round! I don't blame anyone for not liking strangers touching their hair - it did unsettle me a little.

Nes x

DecafJane
September 2nd, 2008, 09:48 PM
It is a clear compliment. :)

Teazel
September 2nd, 2008, 09:58 PM
Oh, definitely a compliment. A while back a friend of mine made an admiring comment about my hair, and my mother chimed in with, "Oh yes, it's like a horse's tail, isn't it?" Since I know she thinks my hair is cool, I didn't take it the wrong way. :)

Friesiangirl
September 2nd, 2008, 10:40 PM
I don't know about you, but I would take it as a compliment. This is what she was picturing in her mind:

http://www.wwhoaa.com/Web%20Page/Carta%20Genealogica%202%20Confitera%20CA%20013.JPG

longhairedfairy
September 2nd, 2008, 11:03 PM
I wouldn't really like a total stranger grabbing my hair like that, but I think she meant it as a compliment:)

Speedbump
September 2nd, 2008, 11:08 PM
I think it was probably an awkwardly worded compliment. If you have ever seen a horse's mane, they are actually really beautiful, long and shiny. The lady probably had no human counterpart to compare you to, so she chose the one image she could think of. I wouldn't be insulted if I were you. :flower:

Islandgrrl
September 2nd, 2008, 11:26 PM
I'd have to say it was a compliment. I can't imagine that being an insult!

ladyshannonanne
September 2nd, 2008, 11:27 PM
Definitely sounds like a compliment. She's lucky, though, that you don't mind people touching your hair. I'm super possessive of my hair, and I won't even let my husband run his fingers though it. Drives me nuts!

Your profile says you have thick hair, so she was probably in awe and a bit jealous. Most people don't have thick hair. You're lucky, girl! I'm sure she was admiring your lovely hair!

kunibob
September 2nd, 2008, 11:28 PM
Definitely a compliment. Horses have strong, sleek, proud manes.

Athena
September 2nd, 2008, 11:32 PM
I think it was definitely a compliment!

Elenna
September 2nd, 2008, 11:47 PM
Sounds like a compliment to me.

InDarkestKnight
September 3rd, 2008, 12:20 AM
Definitely a compliment. I think she was thinking something like the photo on the previous page.

Rapunzelwannabe
September 3rd, 2008, 12:33 AM
My mom always says I have a 'true pony-tail' whenever my hair's pulled back and it's meant as a compliment, so I'd say horse's mane is a compliment as well.

Arctic_Mama
September 3rd, 2008, 12:50 AM
Oh yes, definitely a compliment. I love horse manes, and if she thought it was ugly she probably wouldn't have grabbed for it and said 'incredible'.

No matter what she meant by it, I think YOU should take it as a compliment. We don't get enough of them anyhow ;)

Jeni
September 3rd, 2008, 01:00 AM
I will like 28th that it was a complement. Plus when in doubt take it has a complement.

Cinnamon.locks
September 3rd, 2008, 01:37 AM
I agree, a compliment, but a weird one. My hair has never been equaled to a horses mane, but maybe that's because my hair is baby fine and i rarely wear it loose or in a ponytail anymore. last time someone complimented me on my hair i was wearing it in a braid and an old lady grabbed my braid ( i was kneeling looking for a specific condish at the bottom of the aisle. ) she just came by, stopped, turned back and grabbed my braid and said it was beautiful, then asked what color i used....i smiled and thanked her and told her it was natural....( well henna is natural right? :p ) anyway she smiled and walked away.

So someone saying your hair is amazing and looks like a horse's mane i would like that. most horses do have a beautiful mane and tail. specially the arabians and percherons.

goldenwaves
September 3rd, 2008, 02:57 AM
I think it was a compliment...did she say it with a smile? It IS an odd comment though, I'll give you that!

Shanarana
September 3rd, 2008, 03:48 AM
I don't know if I'd be insulted, but depending on my mood they'd either scare the heck out of me or wind up on the floor.

ditto.....

Kuchen
September 3rd, 2008, 03:50 AM
Sometimes the more unconventional compliments are the most sincerely felt. It takes more than thinking of "your hair is pretty" or "wow, it looks like a model's hair" to say something like that.

Amoretti
September 3rd, 2008, 03:56 AM
That was definitely a compliment! Horse's manes are so long and pretty.

WURW
September 3rd, 2008, 05:00 AM
Have to agree with everyone. A compliment for sure.

sexyjacksparrow
September 3rd, 2008, 06:58 AM
I would say it was meant as a compliment!

Kerry xx

Fencai
September 3rd, 2008, 07:41 AM
i'd say that was a compliment too! A true and heartfelt one!

sipnsun
September 3rd, 2008, 07:51 AM
Since I think a horses mane is beautiful, I would go with compliment! Especially since she started her sentence with "incredible" I don't think she meant it as an insult.

lora410
September 3rd, 2008, 07:57 AM
I vote compliment. The way it was worded mades me think of someone saying it in awe.

Little_Bird
September 3rd, 2008, 08:07 AM
I'd face it as a compliment, for several reasons... People don't think of a horse as an ugly animal at all, it's always beautyfull, elegant, and the hait is always so shiny and thick, and LONG!

That was surely a compliment!!!

:flower:

jojo
September 3rd, 2008, 08:19 AM
Oh, I definately don't want strange fingers in my hair. shudder: Actually, there are few known fingers that I want in my hair...
family i don't mind but strangers no, well then again i wouldn't complain if Brad Pitt wanted to run his fingers through my hair!:p

FrannyG
September 3rd, 2008, 08:31 AM
Definitely a compliment. :agree: I would take it to mean incredibly thick and lustrous.

heidi w.
September 3rd, 2008, 08:59 AM
It's an insult the way she touched you.

It's a compliment what she said. She was speaking of the strength of it.

I would try to see it in the best possible light, and mostly I'd ignore it because her ignorance (in the truest sense of the word) is profoundly manifest.

Since when do we compliment comparing a human to an animal, and mostly, since when do strangers "grab" our hair by the neck in a shop -- especially the shop representative - and say whatever. This is rude, invasive, unprofessional, and she needs to be told so, in no uncertain terms (although it's too late now).

No one touches my body that doesn't know me and further, has my consent to do so. IF a stranger wants to touch my hair, I must have some kind of rule book I carry around because all so inclined have always ASKED FIRST.

Wait til some kid with sticky hands or lollipop touches it, or someone in their glee decides to yank on it. I would suggest re-thinking being ok with people touching your hair.

Moving on as you did is fairly appropriate because silence and showing one's back is a great way to communicate I don't like how you're treating me, and if you don't play well in the sandbox, I'm not playing at all.

In my book, the greater issue is not what was said but what was DONE in actions.
heidi w.

Nes
September 3rd, 2008, 10:01 AM
Wow thats an overwhelming response, so many people saying it was clearly a compliment. I feel a little silly now!!

I really should try to be a bit more of a glass-half-full person! Thank you all so much though for being positive on my behalf.

I didn't realise just how beautiful horses manes are, FriesianGirl, that is such a gorgeous picture, I wish I did have hair like that horse!

Heidi w. - I find your post very interesting, and I did wish after the event that I had told her that touching strangers hair isn't appropriate - I was just kind of stunned into silence at the time!

I'm not a great fan of having my hair touched, but i'm not totally against it either. It really depends on who it is, or the "feeling" I get from the person I guess. I don't really know how to explain it.

If it seemed aggresive or disrespectful or worst of all sexual they would definitely hear about it.

I'm a very open, tactile person generally so suppose this influences how I feel about it (not that I personally would EVER touch someone elses hair without asking).

I appreciate that I am in something of a minority here and most people dislike their hair being touched, but I am the way I am and if I risk sticky fingers it my hair because of it, I think it's worth it.

I do however totally respect that others feel differently.

Nes x

sahiba
September 3rd, 2008, 02:39 PM
I would have taken it as a compliment and you should too ;) :)

Calista
September 3rd, 2008, 02:56 PM
FriesianGirl, that is an awesome picture! :heartbeat

LadyLongLocks
September 6th, 2008, 09:32 PM
It was a compliment, but done in a strange manor. The insult was her grabbing it without asking first. She was lucky you were so nice about it.

Akiko
September 7th, 2008, 06:21 PM
I'd say a compliment. But I don't like people touching my hair without asking me first. She should have asked you first if she can touch your hair....

Tangles
September 7th, 2008, 09:12 PM
Horse hair is coarse but soft, in such a way that it almost doesn't look like human hair. Compliment for sure...

Tressie
September 7th, 2008, 10:13 PM
I'd say a compliment, albeit a somewhat strange one. But when in doubt, whinny and then bite! :eyebrows:
Ha, ha, ha! That was a hilarious comeback! I HOPE it was a compliment, but I suspect it may have been a little bit GREEN (as in envy)!

Missie
September 7th, 2008, 11:22 PM
Nes, I think it was a compliment too. I think she was noticing how thick and long it is.. I had to smile though when I read it....

Shufro
December 3rd, 2008, 12:22 PM
A compliment!! I would take it as a compliment anyway ;D

nimeera
December 3rd, 2008, 01:03 PM
I'm not a great fan of having my hair touched, but i'm not totally against it either. It really depends on who it is, or the "feeling" I get from the person I guess. I don't really know how to explain it.

If it seemed aggresive or disrespectful or worst of all sexual they would definitely hear about it.

I'm a very open, tactile person generally so suppose this influences how I feel about it (not that I personally would EVER touch someone elses hair without asking).

I appreciate that I am in something of a minority here and most people dislike their hair being touched, but I am the way I am and if I risk sticky fingers it my hair because of it, I think it's worth it.

I do however totally respect that others feel differently.

Nes x

Add me to the minority. As long as they are not yanking it! My fondest memory of Kindergarten is when during storytime we would sit and some of the kids would want to sit behind me and gently comb their fingers through my hair. Very soothing. Very relaxing. I still enjoy it...

lora410
December 3rd, 2008, 01:18 PM
ha ha ha my boss once said I had hair like a horse once. I think she was refeering to the length, but then again my boss doesn't like long hair so who knows. If she was stroking your hair then take it as a compliment unless the tone was rude.

Laila23
December 3rd, 2008, 02:50 PM
haha

funny replies.

I say compliment weirdly delivered but still compliment. ;)

Amara
December 3rd, 2008, 03:17 PM
Sounds like a compliment to me! Thick and lovely and on the coarsish side, which I think is awesome... sounds like she did too!

Lady Lilya
December 3rd, 2008, 07:20 PM
Nes, I am also a very tactile and physically-open person. I have to watch myself around others lest I make them uncomfortable.

My toddler (15 months old) seems to be very physical too. We spend a lot of the day cuddling, nuzzling, rubbing noses, kissing, hugging, and petting each other. (He does it with the cat too, and the cat loves it.)

I grew up in a very affectionate family, and I was very aware, even from a young age, that my friends though my family was a little too physical with each other. So I know it is rare.

AutumnSky
December 3rd, 2008, 07:26 PM
Haha... I hear that alot, and I always take it as a compliment, if a poorly thought out one.

susiemw
December 3rd, 2008, 10:14 PM
She said "incredible, your hair is like a horses mane"

Is this a compliment or an insult? :confused:



I'd say a definite compliment.

The touching a strangers hair was inappropriate but
that was definitely a compliment.

Susan

longhairenvy
December 4th, 2008, 02:25 AM
Oh, most definately a compliment. Kinda wierd that she felt she could just touch your hair, though.

zift
December 4th, 2008, 08:32 AM
I 've seen that words said with a smile on your face and bright eyes are generally compliments. People are different in naming their thoughts and feelings so forexample some saying wicked don't necessarily mean that it's bad. It's in the manner...

Ęther
December 4th, 2008, 03:13 PM
Absolute compliment. Perhaps they were so in awe of your beautiful hair that they forgot their manners entirely and couldn't resist. I think this happens often with pregnant women. Your hair must be a powerful creative force of nature!!!