My roommate got extensions

[coffinhert]

==============

[jeanniet]

I don't really get the appeal of extensions--it's not that difficult to grow your own hair--but if it makes her happy, then it works for her. A lot of expense to get the look we get for free!

[AmyBeth]

I don't really want to sound snarky, but her extensions already look like they've been through a lot. I don't get not wanting to care for your own hair, getting very costly extensions, then not taking care of them either! Your hair looks happier and hopefully you will get to keep it for more than 6 weeks.

[Allychan]

I totally get it. When you 'think' you have tried everything and the goal just does not feel like it is going to happen, the easy option is totally (there's that word again) justifiable. I am that someone who hated their hair and bought clip-ins (but felt dumb wearing them), if I did not know what I know now I would see nothing wrong with wearing them. My hair is now au naturale and I could not be happier

[casam]

In my opinion, you hair looks more lively and bouncy. Personally I am not into hair extensions because I feel that it is not me and I am painting a false picture of myself. But again that is only how 'I' feel. Happiness is what matters the most in the end.

[stachelbeere]

I totally get it. When you 'think' you have tried everything and the goal just does not feel like it is going to happen, the easy option is totally (there's that word again) justifiable. I am that someone who hated their hair and bought clip-ins (but felt dumb wearing them), if I did not know what I know now I would see nothing wrong with wearing them. My hair is now au naturale and I could not be happier

I agree. I was always growing my hair long but it would never happen because my hair was just damaged from blowdrying and regular shampoo, I just thought that this is what my hair has to be like :shrug: I was blissfully unaware what was going on. I too was considering extensions but never cared enough to go through the process of getting then. And then I found out that if put in improperly you might lose your hair, yikes.

[sagremus]

I think your natural hair looks more beautiful. Hair extensions and where they come from is an ethical issue, and they are expensive and damaging. But I cannot lie I have some human hair pieces that I bought back in the day. I'm glad your roommate is happy with her look. I wish I could be happy with my natural hair right now, but it's a day to day thing :)

[PolarCathy]

I can't see the pic. I was hoping to see a pic. Grrrr.

:)

[Firefox7275]

She clearly isn't totally happy with her hair if she feels the need to permanently colour, keratin straighten, flat iron AND artificially extend her hair!

[MonaMayfair]

They look ok to me, I love the idea of extensions, as long as they're clip-ins. I can't see anything so superior about growing your own hair, it's just cheaper.

If I didn't have such a sensitive scalp, I'd get human hair clip-ins to make my hair look thicker., I've already got some fake bangs that clip in.

[sarahthegemini]

Not meaning to sound horrible but her extensions look straw-like.

eta: On seconds thoughts, her extensions don't look dry just unatural

[Neneka]

Great if she is happy with her hair and extensions. :) To me you both have nice looking hair. Your hair looks healthy and you have a beatiful texture but I also like the extensions.

[chen bao jun]

She can be as happy as she wants with them, she will still be bald if she keeps it up. Extensions make you bald in the long run. Period, fullstop.

[chen bao jun]

Plus, it is very easy to tell yours from hers.

[fairview]

ROFL!! I love the comments from the holier than thou group. I only see two challenges your roommate has that is keeping her extensions from passing as natural. She hasn't been fully educated on the care of extensions and the extensions have not been blended properly. If she isn't already doing so, suggest that she put her hair in a loose braid at night before sleeping as this will make the daily brush more gentle and to use a quality styling/moisturizing oil. The extensions have been blended at the point of attachment but that is only half. They also need to be blended at the ends also. The volume at the ends of extensions is unnatural. They simply need to be softened.

[Thinthondiel]

ROFL!! I love the comments from the holier than thou group. I only see two challenges your roommate has that is keeping her extensions from passing as natural. She hasn't been fully educated on the care of extensions and the extensions have not been blended properly. If she isn't already doing so, suggest that she put her hair in a loose braid at night before sleeping as this will make the daily brush more gentle and to use a quality styling/moisturizing oil. The extensions have been blended at the point of attachment but that is only half. They also need to be blended at the ends also. The volume at the ends of extensions is unnatural. They simply need to be softened.

I agree. If one of the members here had posted a picture of that hair and said it was theirs and that they were unhappy with it, I think a lot of people wouldn't even have noticed they were extensions (not that they look completely natural, but I just don't think it would have occurred to everyone), and they would probably have been going, "oh, it looks fine, it looks good, look at your pretty fairytale ends" and not "it looks like a dry, unnatural mess". If the extensions had been blended better, I sure wouldn't have thought her hair looked bad at all.

This thread reads a bit like "look how much prettier my hair is than hers". :shrug:

[RedNymph]

Looks good. Plus she can play around with a variety of looks. I know there is this whole natural vs fake thing, but sometimes people go to the solution that makes them happy. If she's happy with it, then good for her. Who are we to judge?

[maborosi]

ROFL!! I love the comments from the holier than thou group. I only see two challenges your roommate has that is keeping her extensions from passing as natural. She hasn't been fully educated on the care of extensions and the extensions have not been blended properly. If she isn't already doing so, suggest that she put her hair in a loose braid at night before sleeping as this will make the daily brush more gentle and to use a quality styling/moisturizing oil. The extensions have been blended at the point of attachment but that is only half. They also need to be blended at the ends also. The volume at the ends of extensions is unnatural. They simply need to be softened.

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of some of the judgment and hate that comes along with discussions of extensions on here.

Sounds like you know your stuff- I know next to nothing about extensions, personally. I know they require some different care, and they can be very damaging (especially since I have F/M hair, I wouldn't chance it) but people can do what they want with their hair. I think both OP and her roommate have beautiful hair.

~maborosi~

[Crabbyco]

I think with some gentle care the extensions would look nice. That being said, I just don't understand why anyone would want them. It would creep me out knowing that some strangers hair is attached to my head and the process damages the hair that you have.

[spidermom]

I hope you got permission to post her picture here for criticism.

[sarahthegemini]

I hope you got permission to post her picture here for criticism.

I was just thinking the same thing. Perhaps you should take the pic down OP?

[RedNymph]

I hope you got permission to post her picture here for criticism.

Yeah, I agree. I'm also concerned to where this thread is drifting off too and the thread's intent IMO.

[PolarCathy]

So it wasn't just me with a strange taste in my mouth.

[chen bao jun]

It's strange to be called holier than thou for simply stating the truth. she may love the extensions and be happy. she may be able to soften the extensions and make them look more natural. This is all well and good. It is still the truth that if she keeps them up, at some point she will have no edges and then she will have no hair. it is simple cause and result. I am black and I have known people who have put extensions into their hair for 20 years. they were all very happy at first. they are all bald now.
In my world, this is called a warning, not judgmentalism.
But you can keep on being in denial if you want to.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/naomi-campbell-exposes-bald-patches__oPt.jpg&imgrefurl=http://perezhilton.com/cocoperez/2012-08-09-naomi-campbell-bald-spots-scalp-exposed&h=502&w=450&sz=19&tbnid=vtT_OVRruy6vqM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=81&zoom=1&usg=__fk7CIrmXJOfr-m0hBWlBFddoal4=&docid=ELPJijT1yqwmYM&sa=X&ei=Ok8nUvinOoWhsAT2q4HYCg&ved=0CDoQ9QEwBQ&dur=1109

[LadyCelestina]

Both heads of hair look great,I couldn't tell who is who.

Also,what is up with all you people being so brave to be "honest" when we are discussing the hair of a non LHCer? :( Are you also telling all these things to people who post their pics on LHC? :( How would a debate about how you must not be happy with your hair because you do X,that you are going to be bald soon,that somebody doesn't really "get" your hair and it looks straw like,appeal to you? Would you be happy to read it?

[Nedertane]

ROFL!! I love the comments from the holier than thou group. I only see two challenges your roommate has that is keeping her extensions from passing as natural. She hasn't been fully educated on the care of extensions and the extensions have not been blended properly. If she isn't already doing so, suggest that she put her hair in a loose braid at night before sleeping as this will make the daily brush more gentle and to use a quality styling/moisturizing oil. The extensions have been blended at the point of attachment but that is only half. They also need to be blended at the ends also. The volume at the ends of extensions is unnatural. They simply need to be softened.



I agree. If one of the members here had posted a picture of that hair and said it was theirs and that they were unhappy with it, I think a lot of people wouldn't even have noticed they were extensions (not that they look completely natural, but I just don't think it would have occurred to everyone), and they would probably have been going, "oh, it looks fine, it looks good, look at your pretty fairytale ends" and not "it looks like a dry, unnatural mess". If the extensions had been blended better, I sure wouldn't have thought her hair looked bad at all.

This thread reads a bit like "look how much prettier my hair is than hers". :shrug:


This and this. This thread rubs off as being rather judgmental and even moralistic about the "value" of long, natural hair vs. extensions. I know we've all worked hard on our hair and all, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting extensions, and not wanting to DEDICATE one's time to growing hair. If we weren't told they were extensions, I bet we all would have lauded praise on the roommate's hair as though it were "her own".

Chenbaojun, there's a difference between warning someone about the potentially damaging effects of extensions, and acting like someone with extensions is somehow beneath someone else who has grown their own long hair. THAT is what people have a problem with here, and see as being holier-than-thou (myself included).

[RedNymph]

It's strange to be called holier than thou for simply stating the truth. she may love the extensions and be happy. she may be able to soften the extensions and make them look more natural. This is all well and good. It is still the truth that if she keeps them up, at some point she will have no edges and then she will have no hair. it is simple cause and result. I am black and I have known people who have put extensions into their hair for 20 years. they were all very happy at first. they are all bald now.
In my world, this is called a warning, not judgmentalism.
But you can keep on being in denial if you want to.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/naomi-campbell-exposes-bald-patches__oPt.jpg&imgrefurl=http://perezhilton.com/cocoperez/2012-08-09-naomi-campbell-bald-spots-scalp-exposed&h=502&w=450&sz=19&tbnid=vtT_OVRruy6vqM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=81&zoom=1&usg=__fk7CIrmXJOfr-m0hBWlBFddoal4=&docid=ELPJijT1yqwmYM&sa=X&ei=Ok8nUvinOoWhsAT2q4HYCg&ved=0CDoQ9QEwBQ&dur=1109


Not to sound rude, but the major issue here is whether the OP has the girl's consent to use this photo in this fashion. It is clear that this girl is not a part of LHC and therefore should not be subjected to having a thread that drifts off into people being critical of her hair.

I am a part of the LHC. So if I posted a photo about my hair asking for comments, then be critical. You have my consent. This girl is being subjected toward this criticism possibly without even knowing it.

[lapushka]

Both heads of hair look great,I couldn't tell who is who.

That's what I thought. I first thought the person on the right was OP, but was afraid to say something. Glad you did!

[Blond On Blond]

What exactly is the purpose of this thread? Ar we all supposed to confirm that the OP natural hair looks better than the extensions??? (they look the same to me btw).

Kinda distasteful :(

[PolarCathy]

I still can't see the pix on my laptop but I saw them on the iPhone. Funny. They were so tiny and dark that I can't "judge". But I'd hate to judge anyway because I don't quite understand the point of this thread.

[AMD]

This and this. This thread rubs off as being rather judgmental and even moralistic about the "value" of long, natural hair vs. extensions. I know we've all worked hard on our hair and all, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting extensions, and not wanting to DEDICATE one's time to growing hair. If we weren't told they were extensions, I bet we all would have lauded praise on the roommate's hair as though it were "her own".

Chenbaojun, there's a difference between warning someone about the potentially damaging effects of extensions, and acting like someone with extensions is somehow beneath someone else who has grown their own long hair. THAT is what people have a problem with here, and see as being holier-than-thou (myself included).



Agree with all of it. OP said she is perfectly happy with her hair. If those processes do it for her, so be it. Not our place to comment on what she should do. She isn't even here to hear it.

[spidermom]

I'm imagining someone taking a picture of my hair to post on their favorite website to discuss how ridiculous it is for nearly 60-year-old woman to have such long hair, like who am I trying to kid and how could I possibly think that looks good.

[Macaroni]

Your hair looks 100% better, your length and ends are shiny and healthy looking. Her ends look dry and damaged, they're clumped together.

[Lady Mary]

It's good that she's happy but I like yours better :)

[jacqueline101]

I don't see the appeal of extensions and I don't get why people abuse their hair.

[BlueRose]

I have had extensions,so thats why i hate them my hair literally fell out in chunks out of my head now a year later my hair is finally starting to look normal again, I rarely have seen people with extensions(even celebrities) when its not noticeable/obviously extensions looking, I dont like fake stuff I can have extensions and see in the mirror that my hair is long but id just be lying to myself in my opinion, I think your hair is also prettier but its so dark I cant really tell that much difference.

[Buddaphlyy]

ROFL!! I love the comments from the holier than thou group. I only see two challenges your roommate has that is keeping her extensions from passing as natural. She hasn't been fully educated on the care of extensions and the extensions have not been blended properly. If she isn't already doing so, suggest that she put her hair in a loose braid at night before sleeping as this will make the daily brush more gentle and to use a quality styling/moisturizing oil. The extensions have been blended at the point of attachment but that is only half. They also need to be blended at the ends also. The volume at the ends of extensions is unnatural. They simply need to be softened.

I'm glad you said it. If I had just looked at the pictures without reading, I would comment on both heads of nice hair. The color and texture match of the extension is really good, much better than some others I've seen. The bottom of the extensions are okay to me, but you can tell where her real hair ends. She needs to do a better job of blending right there. But overall, really good work by the stylist who did the extensions.


It's strange to be called holier than thou for simply stating the truth. she may love the extensions and be happy. she may be able to soften the extensions and make them look more natural. This is all well and good. It is still the truth that if she keeps them up, at some point she will have no edges and then she will have no hair. it is simple cause and result. I am black and I have known people who have put extensions into their hair for 20 years. they were all very happy at first. they are all bald now.
In my world, this is called a warning, not judgmentalism.
But you can keep on being in denial if you want to.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/naomi-campbell-exposes-bald-patches__oPt.jpg&imgrefurl=http://perezhilton.com/cocoperez/2012-08-09-naomi-campbell-bald-spots-scalp-exposed&h=502&w=450&sz=19&tbnid=vtT_OVRruy6vqM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=81&zoom=1&usg=__fk7CIrmXJOfr-m0hBWlBFddoal4=&docid=ELPJijT1yqwmYM&sa=X&ei=Ok8nUvinOoWhsAT2q4HYCg&ved=0CDoQ9QEwBQ&dur=1109

I'm sorry, but no. Not everyone who wears extensions often will be bald. I know plenty of people who have used extensions to help retain their hair to longer lengths. I wear extensions pretty regularly (once or twice a year) and still have edges.;)

[leslissocool]

So it wasn't just me with a strange taste in my mouth.

No, me too.

OP, honestly, I thought you were the right until I saw the bottom picture :shrug: I happen to think her extensions look pretty damn good. I had natural long hair that looked more trashed than hers and everyone swore were extensions and not a terrible at home bleach and chemical cut :lol:. My hair on top and roots were a good 3 shades darker, bottoms was so thin and bleached and just... Horrible.

[Nellon]

You both look so nice! :) lovely!

[YamaMaya]

Her hair has got "the look" of someone who extensively heat damages their hair. It starts to resemble a collection of rat tails, or straw, and I imagine it feeling rough and tangly.

[chen bao jun]

I have had extensions,so thats why i hate them my hair literally fell out in chunks out of my head now a year later my hair is finally starting to look normal again,i
"I'm sorry, but no. Not everyone who wears extensions often will be bald. I know plenty of people who have used extensions to help retain their hair to longer lengths. I wear extensions pretty regularly (once or twice a year) and still have edges."


Several discussions going on here at once.
1) Does the OP have a right to post her roomate's photo, which may be without her permission (though we don't know that).
2) Does the OP have the right to ask if her hair looks better than her roomate's extensions, or is this 'judgmental'.
3) Do people on this forum have the right to have an opinion about whether one looks better than the other.
4) Do people have a right to SAY what they think, or are all opinions just unjustified judgment. (Is everything in the world actually equivalent, and is saying that one thing is better than the other just plain mean.)
5) Will people who wear extensions eventually go bald.

I will leave the rest of you to discuss the above at your leisure and give your opinions (if you decide that that is not crime), but I will repeat that I do not have an opinion re: #5, I am stating a fact that I have observed, over the past 20 years. (actually, 23 years, I first saw extensions and hair weaves used around 1990).

Without exception, everyone I have known who has used these with any regularity has had problems with baldness sooner or later. Some have stronger hair and it is later (the first person posting above was not so lucky). Some are smart and when they first see the thinning, quit and start taking care of their hair and it grows back. Those who continue doing it after the balding starts end up looking like Naomi Campbell, no exceptions.

I am sure if I had tried to warn her early in the game, she also would have said, it wouldn't happen to her, she had done it X years with no problems, etc. etc. Losing your hair to extensions takes time. As I've said, I've observed this over 20 years. a lot of the people I know who are now bald (I'm sorry but that's the truth) and forced to wear wigs had no visible problems during the first 5 or even 10 years.

I don't know how to make this fact more palatable. Is there a politically correct word for bald? Follicularly challenged? Hairline deficient? I don't know. All I know is that it inevitably happens.

OP doesn't have to tell her roomate this, you don't HAVE to tell someone that is enjoying dancing in the middle of the street that they will probably get hit by a car. I personally only mention it gently if they seem inclined to listen, and I only mention it ONCE. They are grown up, they have to make their own decisions. It's not my hair and I frankly don't care that much. Or actually, at all.

there are very nice wigs out there and being bald isn't the end of the world, so the dancing in the street analogy is a little strong. But it's all I could think of on the spur of the moment.

[battles]

What exactly is the purpose of this thread? Ar we all supposed to confirm that the OP natural hair looks better than the extensions??? (they look the same to me btw).

Kinda distasteful :(

I thought the same thing when I read the first post.

[faellen]

I've seen natural long hair looking worse than those extensions to be honest! She enjoys them, so good on her. If the point of this thread was to bash extensions, I'm not biting, sorry. :shrug:

[McFearless]

Her hair looks good. Glad she's happy.

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

Everyone's entitled to their own choices as long as they don't hurt anyone else. It's all about feeling good in yourself, not what other people think.

[woodswanderer]

I can't help but think of hair theft when I think of extensions. I know there is no particular reason to think that these extensions weren't willingly/happily sold, but it seems like I am always seeing a new article about hair theft in various countries.

[hafattack]

The documentary "Good Hair" talked about extensions a little bit, but I'm not sure if they painted the process of obtaining the actual hair in a bad light, though I have heard of some ethical issues as far as getting human hair. That's not to say that all extensions are obtained that way, and I have no judgement against someone who is wearing them if no one was hurt in the process (I don't really have judgement either way, I like to see long hair real or not, but I don't want anyone to be exploited). I own a hair piece (oi!) that I use for volume, and curl or straighten it so I don't have to curl or straighten my own hair. It is synthetic though, because it makes me sad to use heat (I have suffered a lot of damage) on real beautifully grown hair haha

[jeanniet]

Even if they look fake (and as I said, I don't get the appeal of extensions myself), if she likes them, that's all that matters. There're many things that are harmful to hair, many that people here have done themselves, but if the end result is happiness, then who cares? Yes, at some point they may have to pay the piper, but it's their choice.

We hear criticism all the time about long hair. It's a little hypocritical for us to criticize someone else's hair choices, regardless of whether or not we'd choose the same thing for ourselves.

ETA: To be honest, the picture quality isn't good enough for me to even compare the hair anyway. I don't think the "real" hair looks any better than the extensions, but I really can't tell.

[Syaoransbear]

What length is her real hair? Looks like her real hair ends at about an inch or two below shoulder.

[Nae]

It is kind of cool to see someone get extensions and then to realize, "Hey, my hair is almost that long already!!" So congrats on your mini-milestone. It is amazing to have "proof" that your hair is almost the same length that people would pay to have. Awesome.

It sounds like another fun change for her and I think it looks pretty good. Thanks for posting!!

[henné]

I also hope you asked for her permission to put the photo up.

Other than that, I also feel weird about hair extensions. It's fake, after all. It's like claiming you grew those fake breasts or worked out so hard for that flat tummy (that you had really liposucked into 'perfection'). It's just one more level of superficiality. And I hate superficial things ... Always did. All fake smiles, fake kindness, fake this and fake that ... asking 'how are you' without really expecting an answer or caring for it ... Yeah. Don't like it.

I also keep thinking:"I wonder under what condition did that Indian woman sell her hair? Did she need food for her children? Was she happy about this or did she cry after it was all shaved? How much did she get paid for it as compared to how much the company selling it sold it to my stylist made?"

My skin crawls when even thinking about human extensions. It's different when I know it was 'harvested' ethically by folks who really wanted to give it away - like those programs when folks give their hair to make wigs for cancer patients, but that is it.

[faellen]

Other than that, I also feel weird about hair extensions. It's fake, after all. It's like claiming you grew those fake breasts or worked out so hard for that flat tummy (that you had really liposucked into 'perfection'). It's just one more level of superficiality. And I hate superficial things ... Always did. All fake smiles, fake kindness, fake this and fake that ...

Don't you colour your hair?
I know it's henna but it's still "fake" going by your logic, as you didn't grow that colour in. Hair dye, another level of "superficiality"? Something to think about?

[BrightEyes]

I think her hair looks great. Yes, they're extensions. But so what?? She wanted them and is happy with them. That's all that matters. I really hope the OP got her roommate's permission before posting the pic.

I've considered extensions, and may get them at some point. If I do, I'll be sure NOT to post here on the LHC about it lol.

I'm also wondering what the point of this thread is?

[henné]

Yeah, you're right. I guess you could say I'm ok with a certain level of superficiality.

[HylianGirl]

While I have a ethical problem with extensions (not knowing if the hair was stolen, where it came form, etc) I don't think wearing them is necessairly wrong. To be honest, having short hair one day and then gettin git long on the next seems preety cool, and then change again, so for people who like change that's good option. I do think it's a bit strange for people who dislike short hair and keep buying extensions, but to each of their on.

I also don't think her hair looks bad, besides what's the point of hair if you're not going to enjoy it? And clip-ins aren't so bad, the ones with glue are much worse!

[Kaya]

I wasn't planning on contributing to this thread, but I can't quite get it out of my head. The only thing I really have to say is that it seriously squicks me out at the thought of using human hair, specifically from India. I've read enough about the practices of how it's collected to be thoroughly disturbed. One of the reasons I grew my hair out to begin with was because of the selfish reason that I am Indian and if I'm supposed to have fabulous hair that is coveted, why not grow it out and be proud? But when I hear about Indian hair extensions, I feel as if someone might walk up to me randomly and offer money for my hair. (Not that I wear my hair down in public as it is, but I can't help feel like that, as conceited as it might sound.) Just my :twocents: Take it or leave it.

[Leeloo]

Yeah, the extensions are pretty obvious.

[bahoban]

I don't really want to sound snarky, but her extensions already look like they've been through a lot. I don't get not wanting to care for your own hair, getting very costly extensions, then not taking care of them either! Your hair looks happier and hopefully you will get to keep it for more than 6 weeks.

I second this

[chen bao jun]

I've considered extensions, and may get them at some point. If I do, I'll be sure NOT to post here on the LHC about it lol.

I wonder what forum rules say, if anything, about posting photos of extensions on oneself.
Would disclosure be required? Doesn't seem honest if its not--but what would be the point? Not so much, you too can grow long hair with care and patience as You too can buy long hair harvested in some indian temple from a woman who doesn't know it will be sold for $$$$.
Or else, Russian prisoners? I remember some celebrity joking about having cell block 57 on her head. I think it was victoria beckham.

[AcornMystic]

Well, I read the whole thread and then even went back to reread the OP's post to see if it was really all that out of line while putting myself in other's mindsets. All I see is another example of the LHC getting their undies in a knot chanting "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" right and ready to call them out for some injustice they have caused.

I notice some people say that if we didn't know it was extensions we would have applauded the girl telling her it looks great and good job on the length. We wouldn't know the difference. What I see, bottom line, regardless of extensions.. is poorly blended layers and stiff damaged hair. I wouldn't applaud... because I'd be saying it merely because it's policy at LHC. If I didn't feel that way I'd just not post about it because I already know the policy here and I'd have to lie if it meant I could say anything. The less you're honest about an undesirable opinion the less guff others will inflict on you. If I did praise it though, you can be sure I really thought it looked good or that they were actually trying to improve the quality of hair. Granted, I wouldn't go out of my way to make them feel bad; just engaging in simple honesty. If you sense some bitterness in this paragraph, you're correct. Censoring my opinion for the feel-goods of others is annoying for me sometimes as you can gather from my "About Me" and I know this is a support forum, and people come here to get support and feel good when the general public can be a cruel place, but it shouldn't mean we have to lie to them.

What I get from the OP, without all this controversial mumbo jumbo that everyone has contributed to making this thread a multi-discussion headache is that she is proud that she was able to nearly achieve the length her friend did, but naturally.. with less damage and at no more cost than products she uses to maintain her hair quality. My only suggestion is that she get your room-mate's permission to discuss her extensions on the long hair community simply because it is polite. However, the girl with extensions does what she does to her hair and goes out where the world can see it, how is the online community any different? The OP simply took a picture to discuss it with us. The gal with the extensions damages them to the high heavens and I see that as a reflection to what resorted to her wearing extensions in the first place. Quality of hair is not a priority for her, so why worry about offending her. She is clearly happy with it. I saw no vicious words in the OP's post and simply see that it's in everyone's head questioning the intent behind the thread.

OP: Yes, I think your hair is in better condition looking closely at the hair quality from what I can tell to her extensions. I congratulate you for achieving what you have without having to resort to expensive extensions. I wore waist length extensions when I got married two years ago. My hair was only chin length and I was going for a Victorian doll look with long curls that reached about BSL. Curled them myself. They were clip-ins. The only time I ever wore them afterwards was around the house when I wanted to play with the idea of long hair while I waited for mine to grow. I did this maybe once every 6 months for a couple of hours. Now that I henna my hair with jamila they're pretty obsolete, but they're still kicking around here. I'm pretty proud of where I am with my hair care, too. Not needing extensions to achieve the look is a good feeling. If I wanted a certain look and needed to abuse the poop out of my hair to get it I'd probably wear a wig now instead of extensions.

[BrightEyes]

I wonder what forum rules say, if anything, about posting photos of extensions on oneself.
Would disclosure be required? Doesn't seem honest if its not--but what would be the point? Not so much, you too can grow long hair with care and patience.

If I did get extensions, I definitely wouldn't lie and say I grew it myself. I probably just wouldn't post about it at all. But I do a lot of things that are looked down on here (bleaching, coloring, occasional heat styling etc). I enjoy my hair this way, just as the OP's roommate obviously enjoys her extensions.

[teddygirl]

I actually like the look of her extensions. I love the length and thickness extnesions provide. Its just too bad they won't last long if she keeps up all the damaging styling and whatnot.

[fairview]

I've seen natural long hair looking worse than those extensions to be honest! She enjoys them, so good on her. If the point of this thread was to bash extensions, I'm not biting, sorry. :shrug:

Spot on. I wish a lot of my guests had hair that looked that good.


I really hope the OP got her roommate's permission before posting the pic.

A lot of concern about this but without identifying facial characteristics there is no threat to the expectation of privacy so therefore a model's release is not necessary.



I've considered extensions, and may get them at some point. If I do, I'll be sure NOT to post here on the LHC about it lol.

Oh no, not me. I got about another month to go before I have enough hair to blend extensions. I'm 55, a male stylist and I figure the Vegas bookies are giving me an even money chance I will die before I get it below the tops of my shoulders. There will be before and after pictures. Can not wait to see how active the thread will be and how many pages of condemnation I will get. I think it will be a blast. Good lord, if there is so much negativity about a woman getting extensions, what do you think will happen to a male stylist that goes outside the box and has enough confidence to wear extensions and post it here. But hell, I'm the male stylist that shows up for work with that thin white European French manicure(high gloss gel) and I'm just as comfortable going to Home Depot with that manicure as well. LOL.

[ladyfey]

Does she (room mate) know about this thread? I would make sure that she is okay with this.

[prettyinpink]

Its so frustrating, I spend so much time caring for my hip length hair, then my friend with a bob clips her long hair in every morning and it takes 5 seconds -_- so unfair

[chen bao jun]

This is great post and I agree 100%.
There is a wierd 'politically correct' vibe on this forum sometimes where saying what you think is a crime. I can understand not wanting to hurt other's feelings and encourage them but its ridiculous in this case, as you noted, there is no hateful intent in the OP and I also don't think the roomate would care.

Well, I read the whole thread and then even went back to reread the OP's post to see if it was really all that out of line while putting myself in other's mindsets. All I see is another example of the LHC getting their undies in a knot chanting "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" right and ready to call them out for some injustice they have caused.

I notice some people say that if we didn't know it was extensions we would have applauded the girl telling her it looks great and good job on the length. We wouldn't know the difference. What I see, bottom line, regardless of extensions.. is poorly blended layers and stiff damaged hair. I wouldn't applaud... because I'd be saying it merely because it's policy at LHC. If I didn't feel that way I'd just not post about it because I already know the policy here and I'd have to lie if it meant I could say anything. The less you're honest about an undesirable opinion the less guff others will inflict on you. If I did praise it though, you can be sure I really thought it looked good or that they were actually trying to improve the quality of hair. Granted, I wouldn't go out of my way to make them feel bad; just engaging in simple honesty. If you sense some bitterness in this paragraph, you're correct. Censoring my opinion for the feel-goods of others is annoying for me sometimes as you can gather from my "About Me" and I know this is a support forum, and people come here to get support and feel good when the general public can be a cruel place, but it shouldn't mean we have to lie to them.

What I get from the OP, without all this controversial mumbo jumbo that everyone has contributed to making this thread a multi-discussion headache is that she is proud that she was able to nearly achieve the length her friend did, but naturally.. with less damage and at no more cost than products she uses to maintain her hair quality. My only suggestion is that she get your room-mate's permission to discuss her extensions on the long hair community simply because it is polite. However, the girl with extensions does what she does to her hair and goes out where the world can see it, how is the online community any different? The OP simply took a picture to discuss it with us. The gal with the extensions damages them to the high heavens and I see that as a reflection to what resorted to her wearing extensions in the first place. Quality of hair is not a priority for her, so why worry about offending her. She is clearly happy with it. I saw no vicious words in the OP's post and simply see that it's in everyone's head questioning the intent behind the thread.

OP: Yes, I think your hair is in better condition looking closely at the hair quality from what I can tell to her extensions. I congratulate you for achieving what you have without having to resort to expensive extensions. I wore waist length extensions when I got married two years ago. My hair was only chin length and I was going for a Victorian doll look with long curls that reached about BSL. Curled them myself. They were clip-ins. The only time I ever wore them afterwards was around the house when I wanted to play with the idea of long hair while I waited for mine to grow. I did this maybe once every 6 months for a couple of hours. Now that I henna my hair with jamila they're pretty obsolete, but they're still kicking around here. I'm pretty proud of where I am with my hair care, too. Not needing extensions to achieve the look is a good feeling. If I wanted a certain look and needed to abuse the poop out of my hair to get it I'd probably wear a wig now instead of extensions.

[AmyBeth]

I would like to state for the record that I have never felt that my preference for long natural hair makes me in any way better than anyone who wears extensions.

[Nae]

What I get from the OP, without all this controversial mumbo jumbo that everyone has contributed to making this thread a multi-discussion headache is that she is proud that she was able to nearly achieve the length her friend did, but naturally.. with less damage and at no more cost than products she uses to maintain her hair quality. My only suggestion is that she get your room-mate's permission to discuss her extensions on the long hair community simply because it is polite. However, the girl with extensions does what she does to her hair and goes out where the world can see it, how is the online community any different? The OP simply took a picture to discuss it with us. The gal with the extensions damages them to the high heavens and I see that as a reflection to what resorted to her wearing extensions in the first place. Quality of hair is not a priority for her, so why worry about offending her. She is clearly happy with it. I saw no vicious words in the OP's post and simply see that it's in everyone's head questioning the intent behind the thread.



This. I thought the OP was just a happy little clam because her hair was almost as long as extensions. I tell you what, I would be excited if my hair was nearly as long as hair that people PAY to gain length. That is awesome stuff.

Am I big on extensions? Nope. But that doesn't mean I can't think it is awesome that OP is nearly to outgrow extensions. Should she have gotten permission before posting? Yep, but I will assume that she did unless I am informed otherwise. I didn't see the OP saying, "Check out my hair! Isn't it so much better than my poor roommate with her icky extensions?? She is such an idiot for getting those things." So, I will continue to think positive about the original intent of the thread.

[PolarCathy]

So, I will continue to think positive about the original intent of the thread.

Thanks, def a good viewpoint :blossom: i'm in the middle. A bit irritated, or rather, I don't quite get it (= not sure what to think but I wouldn't have posted it), but no hate. I find the thread a little useless, but basically harmless. I think. Whatever. Doesn't matter. I drop it.

[RedNymph]

This thread is very problematic, IMHO.

[lapushka]

This thread is very problematic, IMHO.

Having this same feeling right here!

[lillithnight]

Having this same feeling right here!

I see your problematic and raise it to frustrating. The point was the op's excitment at nearly matching the extensions for length naturally. All the bad mouthing and mini discussions /arguments are just silly.

[teddygirl]

I highly doubt the intent of the OP was simply 'excitement that her hair is almost as long as extensions', because she would not have ragged on the way her roomate treats her hair/extensions. More than half the post was detailing the horrible way her roomate cares for her hair.
There was 1 sentence stating she was proud of her length.

[jeanniet]

I think it's great that the natural hair is as long as the extensions. The asides about how badly the roommate treats her hair weren't particularly necessary.

[peepopowitz]

I highly doubt the intent of the OP was simply 'excitement that her hair is almost as long as extensions', because she would not have ragged on the way her roomate treats her hair/extensions. More than half the post was detailing the horrible way her roomate cares for her hair.
There was 1 sentence stating she was proud of her length.

Also, what does one's roommate's hair have to do with the condition or length of one's own hair? The tone of the thread bothered me, but the fact that it is also rooted in this notion that by comparing ourselves to others we know if we've succeeded is an issue for me, as well. I'm happy for OP if she is happy with her hair. I don't see how the roommate's hair relates to that achievement at all.

[Lunadriael]

My real hair looks a lot like those extensions. Possibly my ends are worse, although I don't do anything damaging to it really. I think they look nice, maybe just need a bit of tlc at the very ends. :) To be honest, if you hadn't said what it was I'd have assumed it was a length shot showing several months of your own growth... so hopefully in a few months your hair will be that long too. Guess it gives you an idea of how yours will look around that length, give or take. :flower:


ETA: Sorry, just occurred to me that as the pics are side by side it doesn't look like progress shots (you start to forget exactly what you saw after reading 8 pages of comments), but you do both have remarkably similar hair, and for WIW I think you both look great. ^-^

[lillithnight]

That is true, the badmouthing started with the op. I didnt mean that everyone else was silly and the op golden and awesome. It was redicuols for her to rag on someone elses hair to an entire forum. The petty squabbling after took the cake though because people didn't have to rise to her bait and could of just told her that her growth was awesome.

[Unicorn]

It is kind of cool to see someone get extensions and then to realize, "Hey, my hair is almost that long already!!" So congrats on your mini-milestone. It is amazing to have "proof" that your hair is almost the same length that people would pay to have. Awesome.

It sounds like another fun change for her and I think it looks pretty good. Thanks for posting!!

I thought that was the point of the thread. It's a pretty good milestone.


Unicorn

[coffinhert]

What exactly is the purpose of this thread? Ar we all supposed to confirm that the OP natural hair looks better than the extensions??? (they look the same to me btw).

Kinda distasteful :(

It's just a side-by-side comparison, since people here are so keen on the idea of natural hair, but here's someone who went the opposite route and loves it. The hair looks really dif to me but they're both still good. If people want to critique, they can. I was curious what people's reactions would be. There's also been threads in the past trashing older ladies who perm their hair, girls who bleach their hair, etc. This is an opportunity to see it from the other perspective, it's the opposite of LHC consensus but the person with the hair is totally happy so who sees the good and who sees the bad? Eye of the beholder...

[coffinhert]

That is true, the badmouthing started with the op. I didnt mean that everyone else was silly and the op golden and awesome. It was redicuols for her to rag on someone elses hair to an entire forum. The petty squabbling after took the cake though because people didn't have to rise to her bait and could of just told her that her growth was awesome.

Uh what exactly did I say was insulting? Don't put words in my mouth. Everyone needs to take a chill pill.

[coffinhert]

And the original reason I wanted to post this was because I was super excited that she got extensions and my hair was nearly the same length. I wrote the stuff about her care routine because on LHC people constantly talk about hair care routines, it was an afterthought.

I always wish she would "go LHC" with her hair care but she is jazzed about all the salon treatments and hair products. Like it hurts me a little inside every time she does something damaging. But it's totally her hair (and her body, her clothes, her makeup) and she's happy with everything. She's really proud of having become the person she wants to be, for her own happiness, not for anyone else, she doesn't give two craps about anyone's judgement and that's a big part of her personality. So the moral of the story, for me, as her best friend, is that someone can be super happy with their hair and NOT follow general LHC advice.

You guys think I'm trashing her hair care routine and insulting her? I think you're insulting her by thinking what she does is so degrading. I don't care what she does, I just described it. I thought it was cool to compare extensions and LHC hair, length and routine, side by side. I didn't describe my own routine cuz everyone has an idea what "LHC" hair means.

Geez I can't believe this thread got so catty. Never effing mind, that's the last time I'll post anything except "glamour shots of my CO hendigo pic heavy! 3 year LHC update" (disclaimer: because it's non-controversial within LHC, not because there's anything wrong with anything)

[PamelaViktoria]

I have a little secret: I feel really uncomfortable when people change their hair alot. I seem to remember faces based around their hair.
I know women sometimes get extensions so they can color, and change the length over and over.
Maybe I'm just a boring person, but my hair has been the same for years and years...

[truepeacenik]

Coffinhert, that didn't come across.
Good old Internet communications, we don't hear your tone.
Except when we swear or use smiles, it seems.

What little just came across was dissing on conditioner only, henna/herbal dyeing and people who post pictures of their hair...which you did in this thread, so color me confused.

I'm glad your roomie is happy with her hair.
I'm glad you are happy with yours.

But maybe get more light in the next pic? I really couldn't tell much, and I wanted to.

[SleepyTangles]

Maybe its time for a bite of cheese? Swiss or brie? :gobblecheese:

[coffinhert]

yes, why not cheese.

[lapushka]

I mean, I've been CO and herbal dye for 3 years and I love posting pictures of my hair, all of which is received so well by LHC. It doesn't make either way right or wrong and I'm disappointed people can't compare radically different routines without falling into a seething pit of judgement and accusation.

It's all good and well to say that afterwards, when your original intention wasn't clear and proved to be in so many ways.

[coffinhert]

I have a little secret: I feel really uncomfortable when people change their hair alot. I seem to remember faces based around their hair.
I know women sometimes get extensions so they can color, and change the length over and over.
Maybe I'm just a boring person, but my hair has been the same for years and years...

so does my friend, i think... at least for color... it seems like she is always trying to get the salon to do one thing, but they keep having to re-tone the color as it is slightly off shade or gets brassy. different approaches to a similar goal.

[coffinhert]

It's all good and well to say that afterwards, when your original intention wasn't clear and proved to be in so many ways.

I honestly have no idea what "your original intention wasn't clear and proved to be in so many ways." means

[alexis917]

I think it was kind of rude for you to compare your roommate's hair to yours specifically to make yours look better.
It's not that you don't have nice hair, but I mean, that's just rude.
I'm sure she wouldn't be too happy if she knew you used her as an example of "bad hair" when she works so hard on it.
Just because it doesn't necessarily match up to our ideas of "nice hair" doesn't mean it's ugly.

In addition to that, extensions seem like a last resort for some people.
There's a girl in my class who has overstyled her hair to the point it's breaking off inches up the shaft,
and if she wanted it to grow she'd practically have to shave it to get rid of damage.
She has the money for extensions, and that seems to be her most convenient option. I don't see what's wrong with it....

Congratulations on reaching your milestone. But I still think it was insensitive of you to point out your roommate's hair flaws.

[Blond On Blond]

Coffinhert, if I understand correctly, drastically editing/changing your posts is not very welcome on this forum, and also confusing to those reading them IRT as you post.

[coffinhert]

Coffinhert, if I understand correctly, drastically editing/changing your posts is not very welcome on this forum, and also confusing to those reading them IRT as you post.

It seemed unecessary in retrospect. This whole thread is stupid and not at all what I intended, and I'm disappointed. I thought everyone would be like "oh, it's almost the same length, that's awesome" "oh, i look at so much hair i can tell the difference between routines" "oh i look at lots of hair but i can't tell the difference" and I'm glad some people had those discussions but this is just stupid. Again sorry I wanted to compare extensions and LHC-grown hair, I realize now it's impossible to compare two radically different hair care routines that produce the same result without magically turning into a total b****.

[lapushka]

I thought everyone would be like "oh, it's almost the same length, that's awesome" "oh, i look at so much hair i can tell the difference between routines" "oh i look at lots of hair but i can't tell the difference" and I'm glad some people had those discussions but this is just stupid. Again sorry I wanted to compare extensions and LHC-grown hair, I realize now it's impossible to compare two radically different hair care routines that produce the same result without magically turning into a total b****.

Honestly, what did you expect... really? Come on? You can't be that naive.

[alexis917]

Honestly, what did you expect... really? Come on? You can't be that naive.

^This.
And really? I hope a mod just deletes this, now that the OP has edited out the photo (AND THE TEXT) new readers will have no idea what we're discussing, really...

[coffinhert]

Honestly, what did you expect... really? Come on? You can't be that naive.

I really did not think that everyone would assume I had bad intentions.

You guys are mean and the reason I take breaks from LHC.

[coffinhert]

^This.
And really? I hope a mod just deletes this, now that the OP has edited out the photo (AND THE TEXT) new readers will have no idea what we're discussing, really...

It was too controversial for LHC.

[chen bao jun]

Could we leave coffinhert alone now?
Coffinhert, I am sorry for my part in this. There was really no point in my second post about extensions making you bald, especially.
I don't think you did anything at all wrong and I totally understand why you deleted the original post.

[alexis917]

^coffinhert, I'm sorry you found it "mean."
Apparently, I have misinterpreted what you said ("you can tell which one is the extensions", "she rips her brush through her hair") as negative remarks.

[LadyCelestina]

Yay thread murder! :magic:

[jeanniet]

We would have completely gotten it if you had just posted the two photos side by side and said, "Look, my roommate just got extensions and our hair is about the same length. Both of us are really happy with our hair right now." Telling tone from writing is difficult, so when you add in things like "ripping through hair" it does sound snarky even if you didn't mean it that way.

[coffinhert]

We would have completely gotten it if you had just posted the two photos side by side and said, "Look, my roommate just got extensions and our hair is about the same length. Both of us are really happy with our hair right now." Telling tone from writing is difficult, so when you add in things like "ripping through hair" it does sound snarky even if you didn't mean it that way.

I was repeating words that I read in another LHC post describing how she heard her hair snap when she combs it. I hear my friend's hair snap when she combs it. Forgive me for my trespass.

And I think you guys all sound snarky with your judgements and assumptions.

[Lady Mary]

You aren't supposed to delete posts :(