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seeker
September 1st, 2013, 07:29 PM
I'm allowing something my hairstylist told me discourage me from growing out my hair - guess I'm just wondering if it's common for a hair stylist to discourage their clients from growing out their hair. I know that means less salon visits equating to less business.

She basically told me I had no business growing out my hair and that I needed to decide what I was going to do because I am always changing my mind - I have this pattern where I grow it out an inch or two and then decide I only want a trim instead of chopping off all of the growth and then she's upset that I'm not cutting it all off. It's my hair after all. :(

So I'm determined to grow it out if only to my shoulders but I know she wont be supportive. Anyone else ever experienced this? Thing is I had long hair my entire life so this wouldn't be my first rodeo. Just don't understand why she isn't more supportive - or maybe she's right and I'm kidding myself?

MunaZaldrizoti
September 1st, 2013, 07:32 PM
It's your hair, if you want to grow it out then that's your decision. Her telling you 'have no business' growing out your hair is quite frankly rude.

Lady Mary
September 1st, 2013, 07:34 PM
I kind of wonder why you'd keep going back to this person if she's acting like that... Who is she to judge what you want to do with your hair?

Steven's Bride
September 1st, 2013, 07:41 PM
I think that it's weird that she would say that to you. What does she care? You have to live with it. I would find a different stylist that didn't make her opinions so forcefully and rudely. I think you answered your own question when you said that she isn't supportive. You need to only pay someone who will support you in whatever you decide.

AmyBeth
September 1st, 2013, 07:42 PM
It's your hair and entirely your business what you do with it, whether you shave your scalp every day or never cut or trim again. Time for a new nicer stylist! And there's always the freedom of Feye's self trim method.:)

Wildcat Diva
September 1st, 2013, 07:47 PM
If you want to change your mind every six weeks, then you do that, grow or cut... Guess what? It's perfectly legal!

seeker
September 1st, 2013, 08:11 PM
I actually never had a hair stylist until I cut my hair off - my mom or sister always just trimmed my hair. I guess I just convinced myself that she was right and everyone else would just tell me the same thing. I'm definitely going to find someone new. Thank you all for the comments - for some reason I just needed validation that she was being rude (and not just brutally honest) - which is silly I know. lol

I miss my long hair so much and I'm determined to grow it out. I've learned a ton in my short time visiting this board and can already tell my hair has improved. I'll have to read up on Faye's self trim method. :D

Toadstool
September 1st, 2013, 08:37 PM
Glad to hear you are going to find someone else- this woman "has no business" speaking to you that way.

ptraj
September 1st, 2013, 08:55 PM
it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind. if it is growing out of your head you call the shots!

Babzilla
September 1st, 2013, 09:23 PM
It can be hard to know what a client wants sometimes and often a stylist will try to persuade them to do what is "best" in their opinions. Go in to the stylist with pictures of what you like, don't waffle on what you truly want.

Remember to be realistic though! Don't show them a pic of a person with thick, straight hair if you have fine, curly hair.

If the stylist cannot respect your stance, get a new stylist!

Etna
September 1st, 2013, 10:04 PM
I'm so glad to read that you're going to find someone new to look after your hair. You're paying someone for a service, and this feels a bit like mild bullying to me. You deserve someone who respects your wishes even if they did change frequently (which is within your rights.) I know there are plenty of much nicer hairdressers out there. Maybe ask to have a chat with a few different hairdressers before settling on a new one?

Leeloo
September 1st, 2013, 10:13 PM
Did she give you a reason why you can't grow your hair out. I'm confused. It sounds like she doesn't care how she speaks to you and you should find a new stylist.

&rea
September 1st, 2013, 11:24 PM
I'm happy to hear that you'll be finding someone new. It's so hard to find a stylist that will respect length goals and and natural hair care routines. It's almost as if some of them want to use all of their skills on one head. Little advice when trying out a new stylist, bring photos of what you want, be specific and direct. Good luck!

joflakes
September 2nd, 2013, 02:59 AM
I'd definitely not be going back to her! That's really rude!

dulce
September 2nd, 2013, 06:29 AM
Get a new stylist ASAP!!Good luck.

FuzzyBlackWaves
September 2nd, 2013, 06:45 AM
Get something like a Crea clip and trim it yourself. She might even have a change of heart when she realizes she's not getting any of your money anymore.

fairview
September 2nd, 2013, 08:49 AM
You need to find a new stylist!!! Yours is arrogant and seems to think they know everything there is to know.

During the consult I always ask my guest what their length goal is. If they say they want it longer with a goal in mind, sometimes I will suggest that the trim be less than requested because what I would be doing is counterproductive to that goal. I also tell them I do not want to see them again for at least 4 months preferably 5 and give them some idea how long it will take to reach that goal. Likewise someone that says they want to maintain a certain length but only wants a tiny bit cut off and only come in once every 8 weeks or more, I explain the same. What you are asking me to do is not compatible with your maintenance goal unless you start coming in every 4 weeks. The choice is then theirs.

By approaching the guests in such a manner I am not making any decisions for their hair. I am educating them and in a polite way forcing the guest to make a decision and commitment about their hair. Bottom line, I don't give a flip what you do to your hair (one exception: Those that want dramatic length changes I will suggest a cooling off period) or how often you change your mind. The only thing I might do is to remind you that what you want today was not your goal at the last appointment.

bekstamonkey
September 2nd, 2013, 08:50 AM
You have "no business" growing your hair out? What is wrong with this stylist?! Definitely time to move on if she thinks she can dictate what others do with their hair.

Dandelion6
September 2nd, 2013, 10:08 AM
Welcome! You've come to the right place. So glad to hear you are already moving on to a new stylist.

spidermom
September 2nd, 2013, 10:17 AM
From your post I think that you really need to focus on one goal and reach it before you change your mind. It takes years to grow hair and you truly never will get there if one salon visit you want to grow it out and the next visit you want to whack it off. That might be what the stylist was trying to communicate.

sarahthegemini
September 2nd, 2013, 11:15 AM
I'm sorry but she actually told you that you have no business growing your hair out? I'd ditch her seriously....

Zindell
September 2nd, 2013, 11:22 AM
She basically told me I had no business growing out my hair...

I would raise up from the chair and instantly leave the salon and never look back if a hairstylist uttered those words. *shrug*

Tobasco
September 2nd, 2013, 11:31 AM
If she's right
quoting you: "she...told me...I needed to decide what I was going to do because I am always changing my mind" then she may a point. She might have been trying to get you to make a decision that would determine a path of action for you both.

Still, she sounds a little harsh and I wonder why you still give this woman money if this treatment offends you. There are many hair stylists in the world. I am sure there are many in your city. Pick another. Simply don't go back. You do not have to make a scene or TELL her why you are gone. Just be gone.

chen bao jun
September 2nd, 2013, 12:19 PM
And you need a stylist because...?

I haven't seen one in years (though my husband goes to my ex-stylist and she's always sending me messages through him and Christmas cards). she's a perfectly nice lady but we do not have the same goals for my hair.

Sounds like you also were happier with trims at home from family members.

She will not go out of business and starve to death. For every one of us who don't go to salons there are probably 1,000 people who will never give their salon visits up even if they complain sometimes. Salons are a huge part of American culture and keep many people happy with their appearance. I know women who will literally cut the grocery bill before they cut their stylist visits. I am not one of them and you don't have to be either, if you are being swamped with negativity. Just saying.

Carolyn
September 2nd, 2013, 03:53 PM
I'm not a stylist basher but I think it might be time to look for a new stylist. Sometimes it's best to start fresh with a new person who doesn't know your whole hair history. When you select a new one, emphasize you want to grow your hair out and need someone to help you reach your goal. You can still change your mind along the way and cut if you wish but I think you need someone new now who will be supportive of your wishes. The comment she made about you having no business growing your hair out would have sent me running for the door immediately.