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Babzilla
August 25th, 2013, 04:01 PM
I'm new here and I wanted to talk a little about dealing with the pressure to cut/dye/wash/texture change my hair while working at the salon. I'm a cosmetologist and I'm getting back into the salon after taking a hiatus to raise my child.

i know there will be pressure to screw with my hair from the other people working with me. I am no-poo, no cones, transitioning away from lightening my blonde 2b-ish hair. I'm vowing to do no cuts for a year, no trims.

How can I nicely avoid their helpful suggestions?

stachelbeere
August 25th, 2013, 04:09 PM
You can rock boho hair! Intricate accent braids, half-ups, braids and so on. I love that style.

And nicely refuse their help by just saying that you do not wish to change your style because you like it they way it is :)

I'm not sure that was helpful...

millyaulait
August 25th, 2013, 04:14 PM
That seems like a really tricky thing to do in a salon! My sister (a hairdresser) is constantly changing her hair along with her coworkers, it's almost like a strange little group ritual. It's cute but if it isn't what you want then you just have to be super stubborn & tell them that you're growing it out and trying to take care of it for a bit. :)

akilina
August 25th, 2013, 04:20 PM
You could say tell them something along the lines of while you "appreciate" (or whatever you feel) their ideas, they are not for you. you like what you do with your hair because it works for you and your current life style and you would appreciate it if they quit badgering you because you're not letting up. Or maybe that this is the only way you can grow your hair long (might be true!) by taking care of it exactly how you are. Show them you *gasp* go against the grain and still have awesome hair :) It's all in tone of voice...it doesn't have to come across as rude at all. There's no reason to be Kurt or rude towards them really, you shouldn't have to explain yourself BUT it is the hair industry....how can someone not expect to have to talk about their own hair.

Don't talk about your hair to begin with, and if its brought up then see above. ^ :)


I'm faced with this issue in a way...I want to grow out my hair color but am fearful in a sense that it will make me look bad. Same worrisome feeling but not the same situation. I feel like I'm supposed to have great hair, and having roots would make me look tacky and unprofessional, also like I can't be trusted with someone's hair.

I noticed that most of my clients are extremely fascinated by an alternative hair care approach! So, this may even bring about lots of interest from some clients.

jacqueline101
August 25th, 2013, 04:39 PM
Don't fall for their pressure rock the natural look.

vendethiel
August 25th, 2013, 04:48 PM
When people tell me to change my hair, I usually just smile and say, "Thanks for your suggestions, but my hair doesn't like stuff done to it and I have sensitive skin (or some other health issue) and can't really do that stuff. I'm so glad that you can, though!"

The main thing to remember is that you love your hair just the way it is. You don't need to do anything to it. If you are really happy and content with your hair, they should leave you alone, eventually. (My teenage friends did, but it took a while and I got a lot of snubs for a long time, but they were teenagers.) However, if you aren't sure, then they'll know (they're like ninjas that way) and they'll encourage you to change and they'll say things like, "You'll look younger, healthier, happier, trendier, smarter...if you do ________ to your hair." But if you just keep smiling and keep holding up, in spite of the pressure, I think they really will get the hint. Remember you love your hair and you don't care what anyone thinks.

PraiseCheeses
August 25th, 2013, 04:51 PM
Unfortunately in a salon, it's going to be important how you are perceived based on your hairstyle, and many people see beautiful natural hair and assume the person doesn't put any effort into it, just doesn't care, or doesn't know how to "style" (cut, iron, dye) it. They are not aware of all of the knowledge and care that goes into maintaining truly healthy hair. So learn some fabulous updos and accessorize them! Many accent braids and twists look much more complicated than they are, and just browse the hairtoy threads for tons of ideas on how to accessorize your hair. Maybe if you start coming in with some pretty updos, you'll start hearing your coworkers say things like "How'd you do that?" and "Could you teach me how to do that?" and even "Could you do that on my hair?"

It sounds like a tough environment in which to be a nonconformist. :) Good for you for doing what you like, and good luck!

fairview
August 25th, 2013, 08:20 PM
You could just say, No and carry on about what you were doing. It's the simplest word in the English alphabet and pretty much impossible to to misunderstand and as a parent you should or wil beccome quite familiar with its useage. And if they persist follow up with, "I'm sorry I wasn't aware that you had a hearing impairment, allow me to speak louder NO!" Sometimes rude people just need a clear boundary to understand what is acceptable and unacceptable topics.

Babzilla
August 25th, 2013, 10:27 PM
Thanks for all the suggestions. I used to get pressure at my old salon to get a keratin treatment which is activated by good old fashioned formaldehyde.

I have to perform the service with a mask on to avoid breathing in the fumes! Still, many hairdressers are brainwashed into thinking that the product is "natural"!

RitaCeleste
August 25th, 2013, 10:34 PM
Well, I stopped cutting my hair after three cuts no one really liked including me. My SO said just the other day. You, have too much hair, you should cut it to mind-back or bra-strap length. He totally forgot those other times he asked me to get it cut and then asked if they just really hated me at that salon for some reason. So I colored it brown with a semi-permanent color that will wash out, one of his many hair wishes for my hair. I hoped he'd like it enough he'd stop asking for it to be cut. Nope. He said "Why did you color it brown?" Me:"Cause you asked me to one time." Him:"I also asked you to cut it." Me:"Oh, but I added fringe and cut 3/4 of an inch off in back, see!" I told him anything above the waist was just too short, sorry. He threatened to cut it while I slept. Then I ended the discussion by saying that if I went to a salon and got another bad haircut, I was going to come home and shave his head bald. ME:"I just want you to be as afraid of me getting haircut as I am afraid of me getting my haircut!" I think he'll stop now, he's 6'8 with a brow ridge that must be hidden and a no buzz cut policy, I told him I would shave his head and tell everyone to call him Bull. I WON! The hair stays. Seriously, semi-permanent or wash out tints can be fun and won't hurt your hair. If you decide you need a change or you feel bored, tint it and let it wash out in time. Also warn people that you intend to shave their heads if they do so much as snip a single lock of your hair. Also when they ladies at the salon ask you want your hair, ask them to cut it longer, You know like this and show them a picture of long hair. Heh, like they have the power to put hair on your head rather than take it off. Be creative when you say No!. There is no harm in them asking and there is no harm in saying No in funniest ways you can think of.

spirals
August 25th, 2013, 11:41 PM
It's tricky because you don't want to offend coworkers. I like to give a non-commital answer, like "I'll think about it" or "maybe next month." Eventually they realize you are agreeing to nothing, and get the hint.

Flor
August 26th, 2013, 01:08 AM
I had no idea one gets pressure like that from co-workers in a salon! I thought they only pushed it on clients. So it must really be hard-wired into their brains.

On the subject of just saying NO. I wish it was that simple! I've said "no" plenty of times, just to be confronted with "But it will look so much better, if...", "But your hair really needs this...".

I think the suggestion to do things with your hair that will make it clear that you value it's natural state is good! Braiding, updo's, hair accessories!

coffinhert
August 26th, 2013, 01:29 AM
It's really important to maintain good relationship with your coworkers so do be diplomatic about turning down suggestions. I like spiral's noncommittal answer "maybe next month."

MaryMarx
August 26th, 2013, 02:12 AM
I too like the 'next month maybe' answer.
You don't have to get involved in complicated lies, it's just an end to the conversation but in a very polite way.
Maybe they forget about it, maybe they'll ask next month and in that case you give the same answer.
I think they'll get tired of waiting and hopefully concentrate on their own hair. :)

Libbylou
August 26th, 2013, 02:52 AM
I do not envy you in the least. I would do as others suggested and wear pretty braids and updo's. After all look at all the celebrities with the braided buns and hairstyles from the movies. I know people will want to try and replicate that look.

schweedie
August 26th, 2013, 02:52 AM
When people tell me to change my hair, I usually just smile and say, "Thanks for your suggestions, but my hair doesn't like stuff done to it and I have sensitive skin (or some other health issue) and can't really do that stuff. I'm so glad that you can, though!"
I think this is a good idea. It won't stop the suggestions for cutting your hair into the style-of-the month, but simply saying that your hair or scalp doesn't take well to dye/bleach, straightening/curling or harsh shampoos/treatments is a good way of getting out of that. It doesn't put down those who do it; it just gives you a valid reason for not doing it yourself. (Obviously the fact that you simply don't want to should be a valid enough reason in itself, but sadly it clearly isn't always so.)

And saying - with a smile - that you just really like your hair the way it is right now and don't want to disturb it is also an option. *g*

Panth
August 26th, 2013, 04:23 AM
Presumably, in a salon you are going to sort of be an advert - for services the salon provides and to physically demonstrate how fashionable / stylish / etc. the salon is.

I think you should ensure you make an effort with your hair (even if it is things that are actually really easy). For example, don't just do different buns as most non-LHC people won't notice the difference between most bun types. Do "obvious" things, e.g. rose vs. English plaited vs. just wrapped hair in buns. Accent braids. Well-chosen accessories (not just sticks/forks, as again these are not necessarily so obvious for non-LHC people - try clips (e.g. big flowers), little clip-in colour extensions, nice headbands, etc. That sort of thing.

Hopefully then you will:
a) show that your hair is interesting, different and attractive just the way it is (and that it's not "boring" and that you CAN do lots with it despite the length)
b) show that you can do "fancy" hairstyles

You might then start volunteering to help whenever a client wants a fancy hairdo (e.g. for a wedding) rather than a cut. You could also volunteer yourself whenever clients want longer, more traditional hair or when clients say they have difficulties growing their hair. That way you could become a specialist and mark out a niche for yourself. People might even start asking for you.

tl;dr Keep your hair, make an effort to do "fancy" hairstyles, turn it into a way to improve your worth at work not just a way to keep your hair.

Firefox7275
August 26th, 2013, 04:32 AM
I'm new here and I wanted to talk a little about dealing with the pressure to cut/dye/wash/texture change my hair while working at the salon. I'm a cosmetologist and I'm getting back into the salon after taking a hiatus to raise my child.

i know there will be pressure to screw with my hair from the other people working with me. I am no-poo, no cones, transitioning away from lightening my blonde 2b-ish hair. I'm vowing to do no cuts for a year, no trims.

How can I nicely avoid their helpful suggestions?

The first two, don't tell them, why does anyone need to know you are no-poo and no-cones? And you are not going to do any chemical services until you have grown out the damage from previous chemical treatments, you don't feel like fried hair would be a good advertisement for the business. Or say you had a scare with a skin reaction and your dermatologist has advised great caution since you will be exposed somewhat in the workplace anyway (stylists are at higher risk of multiple chemical sensitivity that ends their career). Or just no thank you because you LOVE your natural texture/ colour, rinse and repeat.

Over time you could educate your co-workers on the proven risk and benefits of alternative ways of caring for hair, there is published research showing the damage sulphates and some other anionic surfactants do to skin and hair, published research showing the benefits of coconut oil to protect from damage. And, if you follow the Curly Girl method, you might show them the handbook and the before and afters online. You'd be doing clients like myself a great service - neither my wavy hair nor my eczematous skin tolerates sulphates and stylists always want to roughly brush or comb out my hair then claim it is damaged because it is a frizzy nightmare. Well duh.

And I agree, consider becoming a specialist for long hairs, up dos, wavy/ curly heads. You might even eventually train in Deva cuts - that would bring increased business to your salon.

gnome82
August 26th, 2013, 04:53 AM
I agree on "Mum's the word" for your hair care methods with workmates, they do not need to know and I wouldn't expect them to understand.
I like the idea of wearing fancy updos, with different hair sticks when needed. I think that when people see your skills in updos they will be more interested.
I do think it is in their interest to promote dying and styling of hair to make more money quicker, they may always try to get you to change :shrug:

blace
August 26th, 2013, 10:25 AM
I am in this exact position right and have some rather strong feelings about it. Hopefully this post doesn't get too long:

Right now I am dealing with shoulder-ish length hair and the growing out of old color. My hair doesn't look too great down (right now) so I've been styling it in all sorts of braids, tiny buns, french twists, etc. I get complimented every day by clients and co-workers alike. I have found that this has been the best way for me to deal with my current situation. How I look at this is this: it's my hair and I'm doing what I know to be best for it. There will be those who appreciate my efforts and those who won't. I really don't care either way. For too much of my life did I focus on having beautiful/stylish/trendy hair and never really healthy hair.
Many of my clients and co-workers have noticed the change in my care approach (probably because I'm not bleached blonde one week, then dyed black, then red, then back to blonde) and frequently ask me about what I'm doing and how it's working. You would be surprised how many people are genuinely interested in hair care alternatives and how ill-informed most of the professional community is. I've been trying my best to relay information that I've learned to my clients when I think that they may be interested and it applies.
What I am having a bit of a personal issue with recently is performing services which I know to be highly detrimental to the health of the hair.

"Oh, you want heavy, sliced highlights all over your head of nearly black hair? And you want them to be white blonde? And you've been having this done for years and if I suggest anything else, well...you'll think about it for next time? And you're wondering why your ends are falling off and the hair around your ears is mere inches long while the length is near BSL? Sure I'll do that service!"

This has really become an issue for me over the past few months. I am not quite in a position yet to refuse clients/services and you know how some people are...they want what they want. Most of my clients (or walk-ins) come to me for color/highlights so I find myself dealing quite often with this. I guess that's just the business that I signed up for. Maybe I'll get over it. It just doesn't make sense to me why an industry that should be based on making women feel beautiful and comfortable in their own skin, tries so hard to make them feel like eveything about them should be changed. I guess everything just boils down to money. Anyways, lately I've been having visions of myself with the flowing, virgin, waist length hair of my dreams helping others to know their own true "hair potential". I've even looked so far as to becoming a Trichologist to learn how to help those dealing with hair loss and scalp disorders.


I could go on and on about this but basically I just feel like I'm living such a conflicted life right now. I'm sure most of you other stylists are as well...

breezefaerie
August 26th, 2013, 10:52 AM
I totally second, or third really, becoming the specialist in long hair at your salon. I know that when I do go to a salon, I ask if there is someone who specializes in long hair.

Babzilla
August 26th, 2013, 12:38 PM
I am one of those stylists who err on the side of "longer" when cutting. You can always go shorter if you need to but you can't fix a haircut that's too short.

I stink at updos! I excel at color, cuts, perms and other texture services. Extensions too.

akilina
August 26th, 2013, 01:27 PM
I also stink at updos on myself horribly and don't really prefer to even do them in the shop.

I don't see the point in sugar coating to keep it cool with co workers...you can say anything and not sound rude at all as long as you keep it positive. I don't see the point in stretching the truth either about why you won't. I like talking about things like this with people because often it expands their knowledge too. It's the truth that you prefer not to do it, and also (for me) its very true that my habits are making me unable to grow long hair, which is pretty general and can apply to anyone. I hated having to explain henna to co workers alot, but I always kept it positive and never got nasty when they would try to get nasty about my henna....this is what I'm doing and why, and these are the benefits of what I do, pretty much :)
I no longer henna but it was the same experience having to try to explain something...what's best, and what I said in my first post, and also I think Firefox said it...don't talk about your hair at all to begin with to mostly avoid the conversations.

When I worked at a shop one of the girls had bad bad faded red, and another had bad roots all the time never wore makeup etc, and half of my head was shaved, but no one ever gave anyone guff or told one another what they "should" do. If someone starts doing this and you are more friendly with each other, you could always make a joke out of it and say "hey, stop shoulding on me!!" Or turn around and tell them they should dye all their hair green all in good fun of course :p

Pixie2013
August 26th, 2013, 01:36 PM
As others have said, working in a salon makes your hair an important advertisement. So whatever the length or color, if you have neat and nicely styled healthy-looking hair your clients should feel very comfortable that you can make their hair look nice too. If your hair is long with no layers, you could play around with colorful accessories as well as pretty but easy updos and accent braids. You can even make small parandi to add interest to an accent braid. When I go to the salon I just don't have any confidence in a stylist with plain, sloppy-looking hair; in my head I know it shouldn't matter but I prefer a stylist who has made some effort with her own hairstyle. Hopefully if the other stylists see how many different and interesting things you can do with your hair, they might back off on the pressure to cut it. Saying that you have sensitive scalp/skin/hair may help reduce the pressure to change the color or texture. The products issue may be tricky, if you are expected to try to sell products that you don't personally like for your hair or that you think people shouldn't use. But many people are fine with sulfates and cones and protein and heat styling, etc, especially if they aren't trying to grow their hair long and/or they like to use heavy styling products. If a client admires your hair and specifically asks about your routine, you might discuss it and hopefully not get in trouble for failing to recommend your salon's products. But unless a client asks how you keep your long hair healthy, you don't need to talk about your routine that doesn't involve many traditional salon products if that might cause trouble.

Wasy
August 26th, 2013, 04:07 PM
in what universe is formaldehyde natural?! just keep politely saying no, eventually they'll get bored and give up lol

Vrindi
August 26th, 2013, 04:54 PM
Presumably, in a salon you are going to sort of be an advert - for services the salon provides and to physically demonstrate how fashionable / stylish / etc. the salon is.

I think you should ensure you make an effort with your hair (even if it is things that are actually really easy). For example, don't just do different buns as most non-LHC people won't notice the difference between most bun types. Do "obvious" things, e.g. rose vs. English plaited vs. just wrapped hair in buns. Accent braids. Well-chosen accessories (not just sticks/forks, as again these are not necessarily so obvious for non-LHC people - try clips (e.g. big flowers), little clip-in colour extensions, nice headbands, etc. That sort of thing.

Hopefully then you will:
a) show that your hair is interesting, different and attractive just the way it is (and that it's not "boring" and that you CAN do lots with it despite the length)
b) show that you can do "fancy" hairstyles

You might then start volunteering to help whenever a client wants a fancy hairdo (e.g. for a wedding) rather than a cut. You could also volunteer yourself whenever clients want longer, more traditional hair or when clients say they have difficulties growing their hair. That way you could become a specialist and mark out a niche for yourself. People might even start asking for you.

tl;dr Keep your hair, make an effort to do "fancy" hairstyles, turn it into a way to improve your worth at work not just a way to keep your hair.

This is an excellent answer.

I would add to the list of possible styles parandas. I French braid my hair with colored parandas all the time and always get compliments on them. They're awesome in buns too. It's also a fun, awesome way to add color to your hair without any dyes, and you can change it up all the time.

Also, accent braids are the easiest way to make any hairstyle look complicated. Or how about some no-heat curls?

As long as your hair looks nice, and you can show that you do have a "style," it's just different, then you should be fine. Also, keep reinforcing that you want to be a long-hair specialist, which will be a terrific asset to the salon, since a lot of places don't have someone like you.

lapushka
August 26th, 2013, 05:43 PM
I would wear cute updos 100% of the time. That way, what they don't know won't hurt them.

Firefox7275
August 26th, 2013, 06:41 PM
in what universe is formaldehyde natural?! just keep politely saying no, eventually they'll get bored and give up lol

Same universe where a flat iron that makes your hair steam is not damaging, where stylists (plural) literally look at you blankly when you ask if they have a sulphate free shampoo because you have sensitive skin, and where one inch equals 5cm.

Babzilla
August 26th, 2013, 07:28 PM
Same universe where a flat iron that makes your hair steam is not damaging, where stylists (plural) literally look at you blankly when you ask if they have a sulphate free shampoo because you have sensitive skin, and where one inch equals 5cm.
I know! It's all marketing. Stylists are trained by companies that sell these products and the lies they use are often backed up with dubious science.

My scalp gets itchy from sulfates and silicones so it won't be a lie if it comes up that I can't use certain products. I used to do curly girl products and they are a licensed salon product, so I can mention those if asked.

blace
August 27th, 2013, 08:15 AM
Same universe where a flat iron that makes your hair steam is not damaging, where stylists (plural) literally look at you blankly when you ask if they have a sulphate free shampoo because you have sensitive skin, and where one inch equals 5cm.

Agreed. Great point.

chen bao jun
August 27th, 2013, 03:06 PM
Yes its not lying to say something like 'my hair doesn't tolerate X or Y'. You don't have to mention that NOBODY"S hair does well with X or Y, if its not tactful.

There's a hairdresser in my church who's been making a good living without working in a salon (she doesn't want to , she wants to stay home with her growing family). Her waist length natural hair has been a great advertisement. Maybe something like this is for you down the road.

Babzilla
August 27th, 2013, 03:12 PM
I took your advice and checked out some fun, unusual braids last night and made a cute set of crown braids going from right to left. The loose hair has a natural texture, groomed with a little coconut oil! Tres chic!

spidermom
August 27th, 2013, 03:25 PM
I agree with becoming a pro at up-dos and braids. In your business, I would think that it's to your advantage to look somewhat trendy, but that doesn't have to mean haircuts or permanent changes to color or texture.

Sharysa
August 27th, 2013, 03:26 PM
Crown braids are always fun, Babzilla! However, if your "set of" braids means you made pigtails, they'd technically be milkmaid braids instead.

I find it interesting that braids in general are "in," but I rarely see anyone (at least where I live) do more than a normal braid or Dutch/French braid. I just LOVE having fun with combination braids, rope braids, box braids, and fishtail braids.

In fact, when my theater group was meeting once a week, I made it a point to show up in a different braid each time. Maybe you can do weekly/monthly themes with your hair? XD

Babzilla
August 27th, 2013, 03:43 PM
Crown braids are always fun, Babzilla! However, if your "set of" braids means you made pigtails, they'd technically be milkmaid braids instead.

I find it interesting that braids in general are "in," but I rarely see anyone (at least where I live) do more than a normal braid or Dutch/French braid. I just LOVE having fun with combination braids, rope braids, box braids, and fishtail braids.

In fact, when my theater group was meeting once a week, I made it a point to show up in a different braid each time. Maybe you can do weekly/monthly themes with your hair? XD
http://imageshack.us/a/img9/761/3pl9.jpg

Babzilla
August 27th, 2013, 04:04 PM
http://imageshack.us/a/img9/761/3pl9.jpg
This is a braid that turns out sort of round and goes "over middle left, over middle left, over middle, right, over middle right. I don't know the name for this braid, I was just fooling around and liked it. It's not perfect but it's my first attempt so it's fine!

YamaMaya
August 28th, 2013, 11:58 AM
Gosh, if I worked at a salon I'd probably lose my temper with people suggesting I change my hair. Just because you cut other people's hair doesn't mean you want to cut your own.

Leeloo
August 28th, 2013, 01:23 PM
I'm new here and I wanted to talk a little about dealing with the pressure to cut/dye/wash/texture change my hair while working at the salon. I'm a cosmetologist and I'm getting back into the salon after taking a hiatus to raise my child.

i know there will be pressure to screw with my hair from the other people working with me. I am no-poo, no cones, transitioning away from lightening my blonde 2b-ish hair. I'm vowing to do no cuts for a year, no trims.

How can I nicely avoid their helpful suggestions?

Just say “No means No”

Firefox7275
August 28th, 2013, 01:59 PM
http://imageshack.us/a/img9/761/3pl9.jpg

Are those braid waves in the rest of your hair or your natural wave pattern? If natural IMO definitely look into the Curly Girl method.

Babzilla
August 28th, 2013, 03:24 PM
Are those braid waves in the rest of your hair or your natural wave pattern? If natural IMO definitely look into the Curly Girl method.
That's all me! I do a modified curly girl now. I don't usually brush but I was playing with some different braids in that pic!