Welcome to my hair nightmare

[mamakay]

I'm new to this site and experiencing the worst hair nightmare of my life. Honestly if I could rewind to one month ago I would, but I know I can't so I'm here to get any advice anyone can give me to hopefully keep my hair attached to my scalp for at least a few more months.

I've always been very into my hair care. I used to have tbl Hair that I hennaed regularly. Henna wasn't giving me the bright red I was looking for, so I began dying my hair an unnatural crazy red color (rihanna red?) I loved it for about 4 months and then I was over it. I figured the only way to get the red out was bleach and that's where it all went wrong. Two bleaches later, I had a yellow, orange and pink streaked mess. I went crying to a salon and the most they could do was tone it a light ash brown color and chop it to right above my shoulders.

I can't explain how depressed I am. I've always relied on my hair to make me feel feminine, I know that sounds bad. At this point my hair is breaking off at about two inches from my scalp. It looks a fried horrible mess and I need any advice on how to keep it from breaking long enough for it to grow a few inches and for me to have it trimmed off. I know the best thing would just be to cut it into a pixie cut and start fresh but a pixie cut would look horrible on me. I've been oiling with coconut oil, olive oil and doing protein treatments.
Any advice would be so greatly appreciated :(

[mamakay]

Oh and to reiterate- its not just fried, its destroyed. When wet its like noodle and pulling on it even slightly rips it like rubber. There is absolutely no elasticity. I've stretched washes to twice a week to avoid wetting it.

[jacqueline101]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry your hair was ruined keep visiting here participating in the forum we will help you.

[Kaelee]

PROTEIN!!! Protein, protein, protein, then a crapload ton of conditioning to restore moisture balance.

You need a reconstructor like JPak (I think it is).

[jeanniet]

Agree about the protein. Joico's KPak is good, but you can also do a home protein treatment: http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/2012/05/gelatin-protein-treatment.html. Weekly, at least, and follow with some knd of moisture treatment. Also do coconut oil soaks overnight before washing. Minimize use of shampoo (dilute, use shampoo without sulfates) or CO. Washing less is good to reduce mechanical damage, and most likely you won't have to wash much because your hair is probably very dry. I know it's hard to be patient, but in six months to a year you'll have at least have some healthy growth. You already know that you're going to have to grow it out and cut it off, but with extra protein treatments it should start feeling better.

[MadameV]

I used to tie my femininity to my hair (WL) as well, mostly because I was kind of amorphous as a teen. It got badly damaged and one night, on a whim, almost, I buzzed my hair so short it wouldn't even lay down. I'd never had anything shorter than BSL in my life. The next morning I regretted it, cried, panicked, everything. I spent a summer with hair so short that "pixie by August" was my growth goal and, believe me, that summer taught me more about what it means to be feminine than the rest of my life put together.

I'm not suggesting you do what I did. It's too emotional of a thing to ever suggest to someone.

I just wanted to share with you what I learned about femininity: It's not your hair, it's not your clothes, it's not your make-up. It's you. It's always been you, and it'll continue to be you.

Other than that, I don't have a lot of help to give. Kinda new here too. Best of luck, though.

[faellen]

Agree with the protein suggestions. Also, try not to feel too badly... your hair will grow back! Remember, you are not just your hair :)

[SerinaDaith]

Oh honey I have been there. I promise given time it will get better. I also did the fried hair buzz cut. Three and a half years later I have healthy APL hair. You will be okay and you will have learned what your hair will and will not take. Maybe getting a couple of pretty, girly silk scarves to wear outside to avoid wind and sun would help?

[HylianGirl]

I'm so sorry! You don't need to cut it if you don't want to, you can try to make the best of what you have and cut the damage slowly, I also suggest CO washing (or CWC), oiling the hair before washing and protein treatments, I hope this will pass soon!

[mamakay]

Thank you all :) I'm nursing so I follow a good vitamin regimen and my hair grows quite quickly. I'm just panicking that my hair will break off before it has the time to grow out a few inches.

[alexis917]

When I had fried hair, I wish I knew about protein. I definitely needed it.
Suggesting the K-Pak as well along with eggs!!

[spidermom]

My best recommendation would be short hair. You can make it look very cute by dressing it up with accessories, hair slides, etc. Plus you can really play up earrings and other jewelry when you have short hair.

[Leeloo]

Sorry about your hair. Maybe try castor and neem oil treatments. They help with faster hair growth and are very moisturizing. I'd also suggest coconut oil treatment with a heat cap.

[ravenreed]

The one and only time my hair got that bad, protein didn't help much. I just chopped it short and moved on. Of course, I wasn't following any LHC recommendations at the time so I might have been able to rescue it, but I don't think so.

[Ambystoma]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this - I know exactly how you feel, I had the same post bleach "wet mushy snapping noodle" hair myself about 4 years ago. I didn't know about protein treatments at the time, so hopefully that will help stop some of your breakage - I just did as you are doing now, stretching washes, lots of tlc, and kept it just grazing chin length and trimming off all the new growth every month until all the damage was gone. I wish you the best of luck in growing out a new, gorgeous mane!:grouphug:

[chen bao jun]

Protein will help, babying hair will help, you might be able to rescue it enough not to have to have an actual pixie and cut the damage off slowly. I'm so sorry this happened. Being on this forum will help it grow back in good condition. In the meanwhile, what Spidermom says is great advice. Find some face flattering earrings--go to the store and try on different styles. When my hair was way too short to look attractive on me, flattering earrings really helped balance the haircut out. also look on the internet for ways to tie scarves around your neck, great necklaces, etc.
Another hint: It is great to complain on this forum, but in real life, if you end up with shorter hair than you want, tell people you did it on purpose. People can be really nasty to you when your hair goes from long to short suddenly (jealous type female acquaintances especially), do not give them a chance to enjoy themselves and make you feel bad--say you wanted to do it and that you like it and avoid people making you feel worse than you do already.

[Silverbrumby]

Great suggestions and sharing above. I'd add find updos you can do and add beautiful clips, combs, add ons etc. I've found that adding these things to my difficult hair during its difficult stages kept me from hacking it all off. Walgreens and cvs I think have a nice selection. Ebay has a lot of things. Move the focus a little from the damage (while still fixing what you can) to seeing what you can do.

[goldenlady]

I had this same issue when I bleached and then permed my fine baby-like hair. I slept with a reconstructor on most nights and cut off a lot of length.. two years later and my hair is MBL.. It might seem that there is no hope, but it does exist!

[Isilme]

If your hair is that bad maybe it would be a great time to try a pixie cut? Spidermom has a point. You wouldn't have to think about all those treatment and if you wanted you could go back to henna. Other than that, as little manipulation as possible and some protein, oils and moisture. Keep it up at all times.

[Pixie2013]

With very damaged hair you will have to spend a LOT of time doing treatments and styles to hide the damage, and there is no way to actually reverse it. Short healthy hair always looks better and more feminine than long damaged hair.

[woolyleprechaun]

There are things that you can try, most definitely. However, it may be best to cut, if you can deal with that. It's amazing how short hair can be tailored to your face shape, with the help of a very good stylist.
I feel for you, I really do. I was in your boat 6 years back, and pretty much buzzed my hair as I couldn't deal with my hair feeling like chewing gum when I washed it. I don't recommend such drastic action! Perhaps try regular microtrimming, teamed with protein and moisture treatments. I've heard of people with bleached damaged hair doing long, heavy oilings prior to a CO wash, followed by very long intensive moisture and/or protein treatments (sometimes overnight). Give it a go and see how you feel?

[akilina]

PROTEIN!!! Protein, protein, protein, then a crapload ton of conditioning to restore moisture balance.

You need a reconstructor like JPak (I think it is).

Thisthisthisthisthis.

I'm really sorry to hear about your hair though :( seriously though, joico k pak reconstructor saved my hair completely. I use both the deep reconstructor and the moisturizer too.
I fried my hair myself back in February to have purple ends. I did have to cut 2 inches but its already and past grown back, and in so much better health.

Soaking in coconut oil every night all night also saved my hair more than anything else. All of this has taken a good 2 months but its good now. I still have light breakage but its getting better and better. Hair can't fix it's self but you can help it along to have the best health possible. Search and destroy also helped to get rid of bad ends but not lose length.

[YamaMaya]

Just remember, hair grows. Make that your mantra until you feel better :grouphug:. I once made the terrible choice of bleaching my hair then dying over it then bleaching again. My hair where there was bleach turned to straw, and took me ages to grow out. Luckily I only bleached the front to dye it silly colors (pink, blue, ect). I chalked it down to being young and stupid :p

[lapushka]

After the bleach, instead of going to the salon... honey, you could have just (heavily) henna'd over it! But... too late now. I'd suggest you stick around, read up on some threads, sit back and let the patience (to grow) set in. It's fun around here, and your hair will grow back in no time!

[alyanna]

I used to tie my femininity to my hair (WL) as well, mostly because I was kind of amorphous as a teen. It got badly damaged and one night, on a whim, almost, I buzzed my hair so short it wouldn't even lay down. I'd never had anything shorter than BSL in my life. The next morning I regretted it, cried, panicked, everything. I spent a summer with hair so short that "pixie by August" was my growth goal and, believe me, that summer taught me more about what it means to be feminine than the rest of my life put together.

I'm not suggesting you do what I did. It's too emotional of a thing to ever suggest to someone.

I just wanted to share with you what I learned about femininity: It's not your hair, it's not your clothes, it's not your make-up. It's you. It's always been you, and it'll continue to be you.

Other than that, I don't have a lot of help to give. Kinda new here too. Best of luck, though.

I just wanted to say that this is the best post I've read today. Nicely said MadameV!

[AmyBeth]

I just wanted to say that this is the best post I've read today. Nicely said MadameV!

I second that. A very beautiful post.
OP, try to think of Halle Berry, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway. Very short hair but still very lovely women. You might have to play up your makeup and jewelry to help you feel better while your hair grows. If you are a mother, you are all woman and you have living proof! Try to tell yourself everyday that your hair is healthier and longer today than it was yesterday. Try to enjoy the sensation of knowing that your hair will never be this short again (unless you consciously choose to make it so).

[trolleypup]

I used to tie my femininity to my hair (WL) as well, mostly because I was kind of amorphous as a teen. It got badly damaged and one night, on a whim, almost, I buzzed my hair so short it wouldn't even lay down. I'd never had anything shorter than BSL in my life. The next morning I regretted it, cried, panicked, everything. I spent a summer with hair so short that "pixie by August" was my growth goal and, believe me, that summer taught me more about what it means to be feminine than the rest of my life put together.

I'm not suggesting you do what I did. It's too emotional of a thing to ever suggest to someone.

I just wanted to share with you what I learned about femininity: It's not your hair, it's not your clothes, it's not your make-up. It's you. It's always been you, and it'll continue to be you.

Other than that, I don't have a lot of help to give. Kinda new here too. Best of luck, though.
This.

Who you are shines through regardless of the length of your hair. Pfft to those who can't see that! If you do cut, it will show you who you don't need to waste your time and friendship on.

[Tini'sNewHair]

im so sorry :( experimenting can go so wrong at times, its scary and after my years of bad trials i finally did a huge chop to re-grow my hair again and keep it natural and healthy this time. Although i kept my hair up the entire time it grew, i actually felt better than having to hide badly damaged hair and a bit over a year later, i can let my hair down again and it feels wonderful. the jorney wont be easy but its worth it... it just takes time. best of wishes to you. dont forget that you can wear hats, hairbands, clips... etc. dressing it up will keep you somewhat "busy". thats what i did anyway