Does my hair really look that terrible?

[Moonfall]

Alright, I haven't posted on here for a long time - I do read the posts on this forum frequently. I have asked for some advice on my hair earlier, though.
At first, I was too scared to ask this question, but I've been worrying about it for a long time now. I have very dry, natural hair, and it's been like that ever since I was about six. I've tried so many products, cheap ones as well as expensive ones. Nothing seems to actually give the moisture my hair needs, however. The only thing that has worked for me, is knowing that my hair is actually curly - something I didn't know up till five years ago, which made me brush it all the time.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been dreaming of having hair at least TBL. And ever since I was a little girl, hairdressers kept on chopping it back to BSL. I got sick of it, and a few months ago, I asked my gf to trim off just a little bit. Today, she went to the hairdresser's for a cut. I asked the woman's opinion about my hair, and here's what she told me... she thought I had to cut it back to shoulder(!) length. She also asked me if I ever used conditioner on my hair - I told her yes, of course I do, together with deep treatments, leave-in conditioners, serums, oils... though nothing actually seems to work for me.

I often get these kind of remarks on my hair. Especially since my little sister's manes are frizz-free, very thick and TBL. People tell her how wonderful her hair looks, and then look at me, "Oh, but you have... nice hair, too. Just a bit shorter and... well, different." Ouch - and she just uses a 2 in 1 shampoo, plus she straightens it every week.
TLHC, I'm desperate. I'll show you my pictures - please don't laugh. But... does it really look that terrible?

http://flic.kr/p/fn8mCc
http://flic.kr/p/fnnycq
http://flic.kr/p/fn8nRB

[jacqueline101]

I don't think it's too bad.

[allycat]

Laugh?? I think it's beautiful! It looks very fine, and ethereal, and I hope someone with wavy or curly hair will give some advice on routine care. But it doesn't look at all dry to me. All I can add is don't brush it and break up the curl.

[Nae]

I think it looks fine. I know things are different close up but your hair looks perfectly normal to me in those photos.

[Coolcombination]

I think it looks normal. What wash method do you use? I think your hair type would benefit from co washes, because my hair was extremely dry and co washing has completely changed it! Regular oiling and general babying is what I would advise if anything

[animetor7]

I don't think it looks bad at all, quite pretty really. It does look a bit dry, but for many curlies that comes with the territory. Have you ever tried the curlygirl method of washing or even LHC style CO washing? Those could help with some of the dryness. But even if it doesn't your hair looks fine to me. :)

[VixenWolfMare]

I think it looks very pretty!

hair is something that is just so complicated! It is all in what works for you. never give up on trying new things. there is an endless amount of things to try. I have been right where your are. and i had given up on my hair and only buy luck did i find out there was a better way. Do you have a sallys near you? they sell tones of good products and usually the people there know what they are talking about.

Its hard to tell in the photos the damage your hair has so i cant really tell you how much you should trim. if you do need a lot you can trim off damage slowly(i spent two years doing this but it did work). i would take of one inch every 6 weeks.

Some things i might try:

-Hot oil
-better hair brush/comb
- LOTS for detangler
- up dos


Also I LOVE this book:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/150649636/rehabilitating-damaged-hair-naturally-e?ref=shop_home_active

[SerinaDaith]

Toss your brushes and fine toothed combs, finger combing and wide tooth combs are now your best friends. Try a co wash or a cwc but just scalp wash, try to stretch washes as long as you can. Natural oils are best if at all possible. Put it up damp and oiled as much as you can stand and try to stop comparing your hair to everyone elses (easier said than done I know). Your hair is lovely. Start looking into "ethnic" hair care, curly girls often have porus hair. Wear it up as often as possible. Good luck!

[CaranDulin]

No, I think it looks beautiful. :3

[dulce]

In my opinion,don't ever ask a hairdresser what they think of your hair,in many cases they will disparage it and tell you to cut and it's all financially motivated.Not all hair dressers are like this but a lot are,if I'd kept listening to my ex-hairdresser I'd still be dyed with damaged ,thinning hair in a pixie.She told me so many times how old and unfashioneable I'd look with long silver hair..Do what you want!Now my hair is much healthier and thicker and I love it long!!

[sarahthegemini]

Honestly when I read your description, I was expecting awful hair..., then I saw the pictures and thought "what is she talking about, it looks fine" :p I love your curls, and the colour. There's only a little frizz which I would think is simply because your hair's a little dry. Overall though, I like your hair :)

[bradlea]

I'm with everyone else- it's gorgeous. If you get it to tailbone, it will be very Pre-Raphaelite. Good luck with the moisture problem, but visually it looks just fine.

[LadyCelestina]

I think it looks good.Maybe not sleek,polished kind of beautiful,but it looks like...I'll try to describe it,wild hair without the aggressive that goes with "wild".Porcelain doll,fairy.I also see children with hair like yours very often...


BF has a similar hair type.I have noticed that his hair gets softer and shinier the further away he is from wash day.

[woolyleprechaun]

It looks very pretty! If you're unhappy, I strongly recommend 'plopping' to dry (after CO washes) and scrunching through a dab of aloe gel. My hair loses the curl definition and looks a wee bit scraggly sometimes, but I find that if I spritz it damp with well diluted aloe, and then scrunch through a few smears of Fox's Shea Butter Cream, it dries in soft, glossy ringlets.
Seriously, look at the Shea butter recipe (and get thee some aloe!)... it saved me from cutting back to BSL a couple of days ago. I though my hair was beyond help, and then that came along :D Honestly though, your hair just looks ethereal to me. Fine and curly- that's how it's supposed to look ;)

[GrowingGlory]

You have a gorgeous head of hair.

[ravenreed]

I think it looks like wild, curly, lovely hair. Embracing one's hair texture is half the battle towards hair happiness, I think. If your hair doesn't feel dry, and you don't have a lot of split ends, I wouldn't worry about it. Have you tried the Curly Girl method at all? It might help wrangle your curls a bit.

[woolyleprechaun]

http://web.archive.org/web/20111219234217/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=4586
(Shea butter Cream)
http://web.archive.org/web/20110324195947/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277
(Kimberlily's Defrizz spray)
These two recipes are to die for :)

[Moonfall]

Ladies, thank you all so much... I'm so glad you all understand me! I have used some of the tips you have given me, but there are a few I haven't given a try yet, so I will certainly use those. I hope you all understand this thread wasn't meant to ask for attention or anything, but I just wanted your honest opinion. I'm glad you have all been honest with me :) Next time someone has a negative comment, I'll try and remember what you've told me. :inlove:

[lunalocks]

You have beautiful hair! But I understand very well what you are talking about.

Try this, just once: wash with conditioner on length, wash hair with clarifying shampoo (VO5 has a cheap one), then soak ends and length in catnip tea x 20 min, then rinse all hair with the catnip tea, then gently squeeze out excess, comb with large tooth comb, air dry part way, apply one drop baby oil to the ends and a bit of length, and finger comb and air dry.

This has worked wonders for my hair. And it appears well moisturized. I started with catnip tea mainly to decrease splits, which it has done, but I never imagined my hair could look so good. Just try it.

[Kaelee]

Your hair is gorgeous!!! It's so shiny and looks very soft!!!!!

I can't offer much actual advice other than what you've already been trying (mostly straightie here) but I just wanted to say your hair is beautiful!

[Agnieszka]

Your hair does not look dry at all. It looks shiny and beautiful.

[Tori Angeli]

Yeah, the shine tells me your hair is not all that dry. I thinks it's glorious, with the color and curl pattern and how floaty and ethereal it looks. So many people think if your strands don't all quite clump together like in shampoo commercials, your hair is dry or damaged. Sometimes it's just that some strands won't cooperate, and that's just a thing about wavy/curly hair.

[sisi33]

I love your texture! That's probably what caused the stylist to react the way she did. That and the comparison that she was probably (unconsciously?) making with the head of hair that's in her seat, made her react the way she did. By no means do you need to cut back to shoulder. Also, it looks like you might have naturally occurring fairy-tail ends, which certain people have the impulse to cut off into a blunt hemline. I think that woolyleprechaun described it best when she said ethereal. All I see if float-y, princess-y hair!

[BambooBeauty]

I think your hair is beautiful!!!

[Nellon]

Hey! Just wanted to chime in with the others in saying that you have a nice head of hair. I'd love to have your hair and curls :) Good luck in working with your hair and enjoying it! I'm sure it's some people's dream hair :)

[Warda]

I think your hair looks pretty.
Keep growing!!

[AnnaB]

i think its very pretty!! beautiful curls too :)

[jeanniet]

I think it looks fine, but agree that you probably need moisture/conditioning in it to help the curls. People with curly hair can pile on moisturizing products. If you tell us what you're currently using, we can give you better advice, but I can tell you what I do, anyway. I don't use cones (usually in anti-frizz serums and often in conventional shampoos/conditioners) or sulfate shampoos. In fact, I don't shampoo often--maybe once a month. I CO wash about every 3 days, including scalp, massaging well (usually Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle). Then I use a heavier rinse-out conditioner (currently it's Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture, but I'm looking for something else because they keep changing the formula). Then I use a leave-in, which can be the same as the rinse out or something else. Still experimenting with what I like best. So that's three doses of conditioner with every wash, plus a couple drops of oil for shine after my hair has dried. Huge difference in moisture level and amount of curl. Curly hair will take a lot of the right conditioner, so don't be afraid to use it. Oils are not moisturizing--they will help to hold moisture in hair that already has it, but they won't help hair that is already dry. Get the moisture in, then use oils to seal it in.

Naturallycurly.com has a lot of good information, especially on the use of things like humectants (glycerin, especially) and when it's best to use them depending on your climate.

[rags]

Your hair is gorgeous! I'd love to have your curls! It looks fine textured to me, which may be part of what makes it look different. My hairs just wavy, but its baby fine, and it will float up into the air like yours is doing in these pics. Just not in such a beautiful manner!

[ExpectoPatronum]

Your hair looks like the curly version of mine! I can't ever get rid of the dry/frizz no matter what I use. I've just learned to embrace it. I figure as long as I'm taking care of it, it's healthy. Your hair, like mine, still looks shiny! That looks pretty healthy to me.

[Tangle or Curl?]

Mine looks exactly like that but wavier if I run my fingers through it, towel dry it, or try to stretch washings. And I've had hairdressers tell my that my hair is 'perfect' when I style it using a modified curly girl. I suggest leaving it dripping when you get out of the shower, scrunching conditioner on the length lightly, and then NOT running fingers through it or letting it rub on furniture afterwards. And CO washing daily. Amino Acids on your hands will break apart your curl pattern and give you frizz, so the more you touch your hair the worse it will be. Personally I think it's healthy.

[ludwig20]

I think your hair looks nice! But I can relate to your concern about whether hair looks healthy or beautiful. Many still don't understand the natural dryness that comes with waves/curls. I'm still trying to 'embrace' my wave pattern. It's difficult in the sense that you need to keep up with deep conditioning treatments and ensure you're using a leave-in product to help seal in moisture.

[Proximity]

Your hair is what I hope mine will look like when its your length. It would be criminal to cut it all off!

[lapushka]

It looks fine; it's gorgeous in fact! It's also wavy, and wavy or curly hair needs a lot of moisture. If you can, try conditioning twice, either the CWC method or do what we do here, and that is Wash, Condition, Condition (again), then use a leave-in conditioner on top of that OR leave in a bit of your regular conditioner. Add a serum or a few drops of oil, and maybe use a tiny bit of gel for styling (scrunch it in).

[Sharysa]

Your hair looks gorgeous! You just need to stop brushing it to tame the frizz (wide toothed combs or finger-combing are both good options to try) and maybe oil it or condition more to solve the dryness problem.

For my hair, I just finger-comb only (unless it's wash day), shampoo my scalp and condition the length, and oil it after a wash. Solved pretty much all of my frizz/dryness problems.

[Majormiles]

I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, I think it's beautiful! Love your colour and the volume you have got, I'd wear it proud if I were you.

[HylianGirl]

I think it looks like wild, curly, lovely hair. Embracing one's hair texture is half the battle towards hair happiness, I think. If your hair doesn't feel dry, and you don't have a lot of split ends, I wouldn't worry about it. Have you tried the Curly Girl method at all? It might help wrangle your curls a bit.

Couldn't have said it better myself ^-^ My hair is similar to yours, it looks dry, but it is soft to the touch, it just likes being fluffy, hehe, after years of trying to get the sleek look, I learned to embrace it. The curly girl method is amazing, I have naturally crazy wave patterns that are all over the place, with some curls here and there and a couple of straight in the mix. I usually sleep on a dutch braid starting right at my fringe area, so that when I wake up I get some braid waves that make everything match up. Good luck!

[Glass Spires]

Like everyone else here has said, I think it's lovely. I would be glad to have hair like yours; it has such a distinct personality to it, unlike mine. Hopefully you will think it's as gorgeous as we do someday. :D

[MasCat]

I think you hair is very beautiful. Of course it can look less thick in comparison to a thicker mane, but it will also look thicker than a thinner one - so it
s always the question of what other hair ou compare it to ;

Your hair is beautiful and looks very romantic. etheral is a wonderful word. Very delicate and lovely. I love your texture - I would love to have that type od curl/wave pattern. And the colour is nice as well.

Anyway - I'm in the "don't cut, it's beautiful" camp :)

[alexis917]

It looks fine and thin but not in a straggly way, it just looks light and airy- and the curl pattern is so pretty! Very princess-like.
Are you on the curly girl method? Looks like your only issue is some fly-aways.

[cmdinoto]

Your hair is beautiful! I have very similar hair to yours and I understand the frustration. When I just comb my hair out of the shower if looks wavy and a bit frizzy when it dries. I am more happy when I use a hair dryer, but it takes a lot of time and I don't want to use the hair dryer too frequently because of the damage it can cause.
I have been using pureology shampoo and conditioner and have found great results. I just come out of the shower and the waves/curls stay in place with very little frizz. I use Pureology Precious Oils. It also came with a bottle of special oils that I use to oil my hair at night before bed. Maybe this method will work for you too since I have like the same type of hair as you.
I agree with everyone else's comments...baby your hair and do not cut it. It won't make you happy to cut it and you really do have awesome hair!! I hope I have helped you.

[ImDeeba]

I.was.expecting to see something ugly; but tbh it's quite pretty. However u might consider hennadigo your hair. Usually darker hair looks thicker; healthier and shines a lot more than light hair does. Do your research on it before you try, Good luck. :o

[Temme]

I don't think it looks bad. What I would recommend instead of more conditioner is less shampoo. I used to have very dry hair and that's what helped me. What I mean is use a gentler shampoo, only wash your hair as often as you need to to keep it from looking greasy, and wash your length less (only wash your scalp). The last tip really helped me because I realized that my length doesn't get greasy since it doesn't touch my scalp. Also, about your hair dresser telling you to cut to shoulder, that will help if your hair is damaged, but your hair may not be damaged, it may just be dry. In that case, cutting your hair won't make it less dry, just dry and short.

[Annibelle]

Your hair is pretty! I think that experimenting with the curly girl method could really work for you. :)

[Adelynd]

You have beautiful hair! Less shampoo and washing in general combined with more finger-combing and coconut oil would probably help you on your quest for length and less frizzies, but it looks gorgeous as is. Definitely doesn't need a chop!

[~BoHemiAngel~]

I think your hair is lovely, although I might be a bit biased because we are pretty much hair twins :heart:
The thing that has helped me control my flyaway wavy/curly ends is Kinky Curly Curling Custard: http://www.target.com/p/kinky-curly-curl-custard-gel-8-oz/-/A-13044270 A little bit pricey for hair gel, but I found it to be worth every penny!!

[Leeloo]

Your hair is very pretty!

[spirals]

It looks like how mine turned out today. It feels a bit arrogant to say it, but I liked it so much that I left it down, despite the fact that it was driving me crazy and it was hot at work. Let's just say our hair has the charm of imperfection.

[spirals]

I forgot to say my friends say my hair is "fluffy," and that they like that about it.

[Dragon]

I think it looks pretty and will look amazing at TBL. Some people seem to see curly and very wavy hair as damaged for some strange reason. I agree with others about trying co washing and even experimenting with different oils on both wet and dry hair.

[leslissocool]

http://web.archive.org/web/20111219234217/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=4586
(Shea butter Cream)
http://web.archive.org/web/20110324195947/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277
(Kimberlily's Defrizz spray)
These two recipes are to die for :)


I Ecco this. Honestly your hair looks good, it just needs moisture. I'd even suggest adding oils, leave in in damp hair.


Don't listen to the hair dresser!!! I had one look at my hair a d say it was so fine and pretty :lol: then she touched it, and was shocked how coarse and gnarly my hair is.

I get the poof too, just ignore it. Post your products for sure, what are you using?

[kidari]

I honestly think you have absolutely gorgeous hair. Mine is more coarse, slippery, and straight and I actually wish I had hair like yours instead.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I think your hair looks fairy - like and as someone said - ethereal. Certainly beautiful. If it is dry you can try using oil on it. It solved my dryness problems. Just try stroking one drop of baby oil down the length of your hair, it will add moisture and shine. I like the way your hair looks, myself.

[Moonfall]

Again, I cannot believe how kind everyone's comments are. It's good to get some advice from people who actually know LHC can be a struggle at times! I'm so glad I told the hairdresser I would think about it (of course, I lied when I told her that - no way I'm chopping back to shoulder length, that would be my worst nightmare, I've been growing ever since I was little)! It's also great to see I've got some hair twins out here :grouphug:
As for the questions about my haircare routine... I haven't tried the Curly Girl method yet, but I think I'm going to give that a try, as many of you have given me the advice to do so. I'll try to list the products I've been using for the last few months... there are quite a lot of them, since I hoped one of those would moisture my hair.

Shampoos
Alright, I've lost count of those... but I only use them on my scalp, so I don't think they're too important to mention. I currently use Dove Daily Therapy 2 in 1 Shampoo & Conditioner, about every three days. I also have Motions Neutralizing Shampoo, which I use to clarify about once every two months. I have used this one on my length as well, since that's where I use most products on.

Conditioners
I use one these on my length about every three days.
- Aloe Vera Conditioner (no brand)
- Gliss Kur Liquid Silk Conditioner
- Dove Intense Therapy Conditioner
- Pantene Nature Fusion Conditioner (my hair felt ever so crunchy after this one)
- Crabtree & Evelyn La Source Seaweed Conditioner
- Andrélon Oil & Care (Argan oil) Condtioner

Deep Treatments
I use one of these at least once a week.
- HEMA Nutrition Mask
- Aussie 3 Minute Miracle
- Inecto Coconut Hair Repair Treatment
- Syoss Intensive 1 Minute Repair

Other stuff
I put some of the following products in my hair throughout the day.
- Andrélon Argan Oil
- Aussie Curl Definition Soft Feel Serum
- Aussie Luscious Long Leave-in Conditioner
- Soft 'n Free Curl Lotion (from an ethnic hair store, I often put this in before I braid it at night).
- Hair Mayonaise (also from there)
- Hawaiian Silky Argan Oil
- Aloe Vera Serum (no brand)
- Unrefined Shea Butter (oooooh that smells... anyone, what can I do to fix that?)
- Gliss Kur Oil Elixer
- Schwarzkopf Taft Curl Balm

Alright, so these are the products I currently use... should I dump these and go cone free? :bluebiggr
Oh, and I never blow dry my hair. I straighten it about once a year when I'm cosplaying. I hardly comb my hair, but if I do it, I use a wide-toothed comb during a deep treatment or conditioner.

[Alexblue]

Many hairdressers know how to cut great hair but not care for it. As long as you keep normal splits at bay and your hair feels soft then no need to cut.

By the way, I think frizz gets a bad rap. I get frizzy hair all the time, especially with certain dew points. I have wavy 2a hair and sometimes I calm the frizz with jojoba oil or a home-made aloe vera mix. Other times I keep the hair wild and frizzy with a few, tiny boho braids thrown in for good measure :-)

[xohbihitztix]

Have you tried using Wen? I LOVED IT. I think it'd be perfect for your hair type! If you decide to do CO washing, get a clarifying shampoo because you'll most likely get build up after a while.

[Angelica]

I think your hair is beautiful and it has a nice wave to it. I don't think it looks dry at all. It looks shiny and in good condition. Just love it and care for it.

[MaryO]

Oh I really like your hair! Don't listen to people who have anything other than positive remarks!

[Isilme]

Clarify your hair and try CO and cone free for awhile. Your hair colour is natural yes? If not you know what to do! IF, and only if, you want more red in your hair you could try some light henna glosses, but read everything you can about henna (there is a whole sub-forum devoted to henna and herbs) before you do anything. Or you could try cassia to strengthen your hair now and then.
Get a pair of good hair scissors and do some s&d to get rid of any splits. Try to keep your hair up and oiled/spritzed/whatever feels good at all times. If you can, get a silk pillowcase to avoid mechanical damage at night. my Bf has hair like yours and his hair is virgin but still damaged, mechanical damage is death for his hair.

[MiamiPineapple]

I love your hair waves and color. Hairdressers ALWAYS want you to chop your hair. This is how they make money. If everyone had hair they only trimmed once a year, then what would they do all day? I would keep growing it long and stay away from the hairdresser. I listened to a hairdresser a few too many times, BIG MISTAKE!

[sisi33]

I would clarify, and try out a cone-less conditioner only wash, and see how you like it. I'm going to make a guess and say that your hair doesn't like protein, so try to get a light protein-free one as well. I say light (cheap) because they tend to work better at cleansing than heavier conditioners. And then scrunch some of that light conditioner into soaking wet hair, and leave it in to dry, and see how your hair likes it. It's going to behave substantially different than your cone-y hair, so don't worry if it feels off for a while.

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

Your hair looks nice :) Try to clarify quite frequently so that your hair doesn't get weighted down and even drier - I have fairly wavy hair and if I don't wash it very thoroughly it starts to look greasy and wispy.

[Moonfall]

@ sisi33
I think I'm going to give this a try in the near future. I can imagine my hair would feel a bit off, but is it just a matter of getting used to it or will it start feeling different within a few days or something?

@ FuzzyBlackWaves
I clarify about once every two months at the moment, and after clarifying, my hair feels even more dry than usual. I don't clarify because it feels greasy or anything; it's never been greasy. I started clarifying a while ago, since I had read build up could make hair feel even more dry - I figured that, if I'd clarify, my hair would be able to take in more moisture.

@ Everyone else, thank you for your lovely advice :D

[HylianGirl]

Clarifying is a drying process, it is normal for your hair to be dry after it, that's why I follow my clarifyings with a deep condition, I hope it helps!

[Anje]

Very pretty, in a fine, curly, ethereal and untamed sort of way.

For moisture, I'd suggest trying CO washing, SMTs, and maybe leaving in a good dollop of normal conditioner.

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

Do you seal with an oil while your hair is still damp?

[Pixie2013]

Your curl pattern and color are beautiful! If it doesn't feel damaged to you, eg crispy ends, and you don't have a lot of split ends, then maybe it just has a naturally unruly tendency. Maybe some of the curly-girl and LHC tips can help you achieve a sleeker look if that's what you'd like, but please don't think your hair is ugly because a stylist told you to cut it to your shoulders. If everyone grew long hair with no layers, high-end stylists would be out of jobs! I agree with others who have said you seem to have floaty princess hair.

[rags]

Here's my advice after all of the wonderful advice you've received.. Pick ONE of these things to change, and change only that for at least two weeks to a month unless it becomes obvious really quickly that its hurting your hair. For instance, if you go both cone and protein free at the same time and your hair improves, you won't know which one is the problem. If you've added new oils or a new method of washing at the same time - CO instead of S/C for example, then you are Ina real mess. And one of them alone might have worked, but perhaps changing all of them makes it not work.

So go slowly and try one new thing at a time. Your hair is very pretty as is; you don't have to be in a hurry. :flower:

[Pixie2013]

Oh, and about people complimenting your sister's hair and then saying something awkward about yours...maybe she just has extraordinarily beautiful hair which will always be the prettiest in the room. Sucks if you're the one standing next to her, but it doesn't mean your own hair is not pretty. Truly your curl pattern is exactly what I wish my hair had!

[SongofLove]

Wow, your hair is soo pretty---looks thick and soft, and those gorgeous curls!

[alyanna]

Your hair looks very pretty and would be amazing longer!
I second the use of CO-washing, and skipping the silicones. Ditch the serums and just do damp olive-oiling on the ends.

[C_Bookworm]

You hair is very pretty! I love your curl pattern.

[jeanniet]

Rags makes a good point about changing things slowly. I would probably go cone free first, then try CO. How often you clarify really depends on your hair and what you're using. Some people clarify weekly, and some almost never do. I fall into the latter camp, and most of the time if I clarify it's more a "Oh, I haven't clarified in months, so maybe I'll do it today" kind of thing rather than because I really need to. If you don't feel like your hair needs it, I wouldn't do it, at least not unless it's been several months.

[Natalia]

No need to chop its beautiful :). You mentioned trying a lot have you tried using regular condish as a leave in? Or kimberlily's mister recipe?

[Wildcat Diva]

Laugh? It's lovely. I would take it in a minute! I think that you are a good candidate to keep on growing.

[Firefox7275]

Alright, I haven't posted on here for a long time - I do read the posts on this forum frequently. I have asked for some advice on my hair earlier, though.
At first, I was too scared to ask this question, but I've been worrying about it for a long time now. I have very dry, natural hair, and it's been like that ever since I was about six. I've tried so many products, cheap ones as well as expensive ones. Nothing seems to actually give the moisture my hair needs, however. The only thing that has worked for me, is knowing that my hair is actually curly - something I didn't know up till five years ago, which made me brush it all the time.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been dreaming of having hair at least TBL. And ever since I was a little girl, hairdressers kept on chopping it back to BSL. I got sick of it, and a few months ago, I asked my gf to trim off just a little bit. Today, she went to the hairdresser's for a cut. I asked the woman's opinion about my hair, and here's what she told me... she thought I had to cut it back to shoulder(!) length. She also asked me if I ever used conditioner on my hair - I told her yes, of course I do, together with deep treatments, leave-in conditioners, serums, oils... though nothing actually seems to work for me.

I often get these kind of remarks on my hair. Especially since my little sister's manes are frizz-free, very thick and TBL. People tell her how wonderful her hair looks, and then look at me, "Oh, but you have... nice hair, too. Just a bit shorter and... well, different." Ouch - and she just uses a 2 in 1 shampoo, plus she straightens it every week.
TLHC, I'm desperate. I'll show you my pictures - please don't laugh. But... does it really look that terrible?

http://flic.kr/p/fn8mCc
http://flic.kr/p/fnnycq
http://flic.kr/p/fn8nRB

I don't think it looks terrible but your waves are ill defined, it looks rather like mine before the Curly Girl method, my hairdresser mostly sees my hair straight (I rock up with clean wet hair) and always used to tell me I needed more conditioner largely because it poofed/ fluffed as it dried not because it wasn't soft or had split ends. Stopping any brushing or combing outside of the shower, switching from shampoo to conditioner only washing and styling from dripping wet made a huge difference for me.

Are you sure your hair simply needs more moisture (= water)? Do you know what your hair properties are (coarse/ fine, porosity) and dew points/humidity are? Have you chelated lately? Are you choosing ingredients and products based on your hair properties and dews?

Most ingredients won't do anything much for hair except sit on the surface, regardless how pricey the product. Some of the ones that can penetrate as well as benefitting the surface are coconut oil, hydrolysed protein, ceramides and panthenol.