long haired women are selfish???!!!

[oddelabop]

Sorry for the rant, but just today I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital, and was approached by a nurse with (of coarse) short hair.

She told me that I should be ashamed of myself for not donating my hair to a cancer organisation so that they make wigs for people going through chemotherapy.

I was infuriated!! How dare someone place that on my head??!! If a woman wishes to grow out her hair, she is under no more or no less obligation that those with short hair to donate.

I couldn't believe it, so I came home and researched on youtube to find a woman with beautiful long hair discussing her opinion on the matter, and she got bashed by comments from other women, calling her selfish, and vain!!

I actually cannot believe that this prejudice exists!!

What are your thoughts??

Rant over!

[Tori Angeli]

First of all, when I asked a cancer survivor about this, she said many cancer patients won't buy wigs made of American hair for quality reasons.

Second of all, if I'm willing to donate money to help girls attend school in Afghanistan, leave me alone about my hair.

Third, this is one reason I'm happy to have layers. I can easily say my shortest layer makes my hair too short to donate. But not everyone has this "excuse."

Fourth, I don't want my hair to wind up in the garbage, which is where something like 55% of the hair donates to Locks of Love goes.

Fifth, why doesn't she grow her hair long and donate it herself? That's pretty selfish.

[Kaelee]

Next time someone says that to you, ask them if they still have two kidneys. If they say yes, berate them for being so selfish as to keep the second one, since they only really NEED one, and someone else can't live without the extra. :patrol:

Or if you don't feel like being a smart ass :p educate them on the realities of hair donation. :agree:

[woodswanderer]

No one has out and out called me selfish, but it has been strongly implied many times by different people who tell me I really should donate to Locks of Love, and how happy someone would be to get my hair. Maybe next time I will just tell someone pressuring me that they should grow out their hair and donate it. Just hearing the phrase Locks of Love makes me angry because so many people have given me a hard time about it.

[oddelabop]

Fifth, why doesn't she grow her hair long and donate it herself? That's pretty selfish.

My thoughts exactly.

I understand the cause! Really, but blooming heck!! I am not entitled to cut my hair off just because I grew it! Some people really are unbelievable!


And Kaelee I completely agree, I wish I had thought of this at the time!

Woodswanderer! I agree with you also! Its similar to pressuring to donate to charity (something which I do monthly!) Gosh I am livid!

[Killahkurlz]

Well then I think it's selfish for them to cut their hair for convenience/ out of boredom, etc and not grow it long to donate it to charities.

[akka naeda]

For all she knows you had cancer in the past and are now growing your hair out. For all she knows you have a wig because of chemo or that thing I've forgotten the name of where your hair falls out. I have a friend with that and she wears a wig every day, it's quite long as well.

Next time it happens to you, say yes, your hair is donated hair and you are wearing a wig because of some medical complaint. Watch their faces then.....

In actual fact I don't think most people think about it, certainly not here in the UK where we don't have locks of love. On you tube you'll get people making negative comments just because it's the internet and that's what people do.

[sarahthegemini]

That is unbelievable! If she's that compassionate about the cause, why doesn't she grow her own hair out and donate it? Surely, by her logic, she is too being selfish by not growing and donating her hair .... I hope I don't get remarks like that as my hair grows (although saying that, I'll probably only go to BSL which isn't long under LHC's standards :p)

[coconutinsight]

I can understand if someone suggested donating hair, but to insult someone just because they don't donate I can not understand at all! It is someone's right to decide to grow out hair for themselves and since it's your hair you do whatever you want with it. It's nobody's business what one decides to do with their own hair. I think people judge too easily and are extremely rude when someone's opinion differs from theirs on certain subjects.

[woodswanderer]

I can guarantee that no American with hair longer than waist needs a suggestion about Locks of Love. We have already heard about it.....over and over...and...

[oddelabop]

Really woodswanderer? IT is that common in America? Because before today, I had only ever read about it or heard of it a few times. IT doesn't seem to be all that common in the UK as akka naeda said!!

I don't know you American ladies cope! I would become a murderous fury if i heard that every day!

[Nightshade]

Whenever this happens I enjoy pointing out that I'm working on my 4th gallon of donated blood and ask them how much they've donated.

only 2% of the population are blood donors, so it's a pretty safe bet :lol:

[AspenSong]

When I hear comments like that, I feel inclined to say - You don't NEED both kidneys, why not donate one? You don't NEED your whole liver, you could donate part of it. You don't NEED to drive as nice a car as you have, why not donate it to someone without a car and drive a cheaper one. You're pretty without makeup and don't need it, why not just stop buying it and donate the money to orphans? Or as a photographer - You don't NEED or know how to use your $8,000 worth of camera equipment that you bought on a whim and never use, donate it to me. lol.
It doesn't matter, if it's YOURS, it's YOUR choice. I find it ridiculous that long hair elicits this reaction in so many people. No one stops people in diamond earrings and tells them they could have used the money for those to give to charity!

[MeganE]

"Cancer and alopecia patients do need a lot of support and I can see you're passionate about this. What organization did you donate your hair to?"

ETA: In case the quotes don't make it obvious enough, this would be my ideal reply.

[Kaelee]

"Cancer and alopecia patients do need a lot of support and I can see you're passionate about this. What organization did you donate your hair to?"

ETA: In case the quotes don't make it obvious enough, this would be my ideal reply.

*giggle* :thumbsup:

[mary*rose]

Yes, I've been asked if I'm going to donate my hair, and I've always guiltily responded no, that I was just growing it out for myself. Now I have no need to respond guiltily. I've donated my hair twice before, and I've given blood and charity money. There are some pretty good points made here.

[Seanymph]

So the only good reason to grow long hair is to chop it off to give to a cancer charity? If you have to much of something, even hair, people will lay the guilt trip on you to make you feel bad for not being charitable!!!

[Robot Ninja]

I think if someone pressures you to donate your hair you're fully justified in just telling them off. What you do with any part of your body is your business and yours alone. End of argument.

Honestly, I'm not too fond of the "why don't you donate a kidney" comeback. It's in no way comparable to donating hair (or blood, or even registering to donate bone marrow.)

[Tori Angeli]

Although blood is another one people tend to guilt you about. I gave blood three times while at the borderline weight limit and got dreadful (by my standards--really it was pretty minor by medical standards, as I didn't need to go to the hospital) hypovolemic shock two of those times. I keep hovering around the borderline weight limit and my iron is fine, so I still got guilted when I volunteered at a blood drive but didn't donate. That I don't donate hair or blood must make me an absolutely terrible person.

[PraiseCheeses]

It happens, apparently quite frequently. Getting harassed to donate your hair is like a rite of passage around here. :lol: oddelabop, you have beautiful hair, so that most likely won't be the last time you're bothered.

"That's a lovely outfit/handbag/pair of shoes [whatever is obviously most expensive]. You should donate it to Goodwill - you're so selfish to keep it for yourself. Don't you know there are poor and disadvantaged folks out there?"

"Oh - I see you have short hair. When did you donate yours? You didn't? That's so selfish to not grow out your hair so you can donate it. What charities do you support then?"

"It's none of your business, but I support x charity every year."

It sounds like this woman was judging you, so feel free to be a smartass when that happens. Then come back and tell us about it so we can cheer for you. :twisted: But keep in mind some people who ask you about donating might just be asking out of curiosity or to make conversation. I've seen threads on here that made me suspect a lot of people would jump down someone's throat at the mere mention of hair donation. :flower: My own mother told me a couple months ago "You could do Locks of Love! Are you going to donate it?" but it was more a comment on the length and a curious question than a judgment. When I told her I was keeping it on my head and quoted some statistics from this article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/locks-of-love-controversy_n_3269078.html), she accepted it.

[Babyfine]

For all she knows you had cancer in the past and are now growing your hair out. For all she knows you have a wig because of chemo or that thing I've forgotten the name of where your hair falls out. I have a friend with that and she wears a wig every day, it's quite long as well.

Next time it happens to you, say yes, your hair is donated hair and you are wearing a wig because of some medical complaint. Watch their faces then.....

In actual fact I don't think most people think about it, certainly not here in the UK where we don't have locks of love. On you tube you'll get people making negative comments just because it's the internet and that's what people do.

LOL Good one! and Oddelabop, it's no one's business what you do with your hair, and how does SHE know you haven't cut your hair off and donated it before? My stepdaughter cut her waistlength hair off and donated it to LOL when her MIL got leukemia years ago, and now has long hair again. I would have said"why don't you grow your OWN hair out and donate it?"

[Anne10]

My gosh, that was one rude nurse.

[woodswanderer]

It is really common in the U.S. Maybe I shouldn't say that EVERYONE with long hair in America has heard of it. I just get so annoyed about it. Maybe people with layers, thin hair or fairy tale ends or people with obviously dyed hair don't get harassed about it, I really don't know, but I would be surprised if someone with thick, long, virgin hair with a blunt hemline hasn't heard about it. Maybe that's the easiest to work with to make a wig.

[starlamelissa]

My (male) doctor grows out his hair till it meets the length requirement, donates it, and grows again. I think he's done this 6 times now! He asked me if I'd consider it, but I said my hair is colored, so it would just end up in the trash. He thought that was strange.

[lunalocks]

Why not point out that this is a question she shouldn't be asking long haired persons? That it is probably not a good idea to assume any long haired person is growing it in order to donate it. That it is a choice just as wearing a blue dress or toenail polish is a choice.

Lots of people know about locks of love but few understand why anyone would voluntarily grow long hair. I had a woman at work ask me how I could stand it. She had just grown her hair to donate it and said it just about drove her crazy. (But she didn't tell me I should donate mine, she had known me too long).

Other people are proud that they can donate something so personal. So, when they ask you, it is sort of like they are asking if you belong to a special kind of club. But when people go on and on about it, that turns into rudeness. But I do not believe in being rude back.

[amanda_the_tall]

Fortunately my hair is super thin and fine, so I don't get bothered, but yes that lady was mean to say that! I'd be mad too!

[Leeloo]

How infuriating! You should off asked her why is she not growing her hair out for donation herself and why she still has two kidneys! How rude :rant:

[jacqueline101]

That is unbelievable! If she's that compassionate about the cause, why doesn't she grow her own hair out and donate it? Surely, by her logic, she is too being selfish by not growing and donating her hair .... I hope I don't get remarks like that as my hair grows (although saying that, I'll probably only go to BSL which isn't long under LHC's standards :p)

I agree with the above post.

[patienceneeded]

I'm in the US and I have never had anyone ask me if I was donating my hair, or insult me for not donating. I don't think it's actually all that common, it just seems like it here (LHC) due to the concentrated number of long-haired people all communicating in the same place.

With that said, how rude! Clearly that nurse needs a lesson in minding her own business.

[Vrindi]

For all she knows you had cancer in the past and are now growing your hair out. For all she knows you have a wig because of chemo or that thing I've forgotten the name of where your hair falls out. I have a friend with that and she wears a wig every day, it's quite long as well.

Next time it happens to you, say yes, your hair is donated hair and you are wearing a wig because of some medical complaint. Watch their faces then.....


Hahaha! This!

Fortunately, since growing my hair long this time, I have not yet had any of these comments. I got a lot of them on the East Coast though. I would tell people 1) LoL has more hair than they know what to do with, and most of it doesn't go to cancer patients anyway, 2) my hair has been dyed and is not suitable for donation 3) I can think of one person in particular who is recovering from illness and would love to have beautiful hair— me! and 4) it isn't any more selfish for me to keep my hair long because I like it, than for someone else to keep it too short to donate it, and it's really lame to bully other people to do what you won't.

If you calmly and patiently explain in detail your reasons, that person will have no choice but to shut up, because they will be looking pretty stupid and rude, and some may even actually get it and apologize. I've had that happen too. People get caught up in the trend of telling people how to donate. I hate it. Most charities are pretty awful when you get down to it, you have every right to not give unless it's totally your choice— not a guilt trip.

Also, remember every time someone tells you you're selfish for keeping your hair long, remember that they are only projecting their own insecurities onto you. You are nothing but a mirror for their own self-hatred. They are actually not talking to you, they're talking to themselves, so you don't even have to take it personally. Just flip your beautiful long hair and walk away! Or hand them an actual mirror and say, "please, continue."

[jillosity]

I think it's really inappropriate comment for a whole slew of reasons, but especially for an employee to be making to people visiting family at a hospital. I'd find out who is in charge and let them know about what this employee said to you.

[GrowingGlory]

Truly amazing.

[oddelabop]

It happens, apparently quite frequently. Getting harassed to donate your hair is like a rite of passage around here. :lol: oddelabop, you have beautiful hair, so that most likely won't be the last time you're bothered.

"That's a lovely outfit/handbag/pair of shoes [whatever is obviously most expensive]. You should donate it to Goodwill - you're so selfish to keep it for yourself. Don't you know there are poor and disadvantaged folks out there?"

"Oh - I see you have short hair. When did you donate yours? You didn't? That's so selfish to not grow out your hair so you can donate it. What charities do you support then?"

"It's none of your business, but I support x charity every year."

It sounds like this woman was judging you, so feel free to be a smartass when that happens. Then come back and tell us about it so we can cheer for you. :twisted: But keep in mind some people who ask you about donating might just be asking out of curiosity or to make conversation. I've seen threads on here that made me suspect a lot of people would jump down someone's throat at the mere mention of hair donation. :flower: My own mother told me a couple months ago "You could do Locks of Love! Are you going to donate it?" but it was more a comment on the length and a curious question than a judgment. When I told her I was keeping it on my head and quoted some statistics from this article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/locks-of-love-controversy_n_3269078.html), she accepted it.

Ha! I couldn't agree with you more. Noone else I told thought it was that insulting, my friend for one is on a mission to make me chop my hair back to shoulder length.
It wasn't the suggestion as such, but the remark of being selfish for not doing so! That is what really put me on my hackles!! :D


Reading all your responses make me giggle! I do agree that explaining it to whoever says it has the desired effect, but my problem is, people really shouldn't pressure you in the first place. As many of you have mentioned, you wouldn't tell someone to donate a kidney or give up a nice handbag?! To me, it is probably one of the most absurd comments I have ever received!!

[irisheyes]

I agree with jillosity. Report her to the nursing supervisor.

[oddelabop]

I agree with jillosity. Report her to the nursing supervisor.

It wouldn't be the only thing we would report the staff for!! They have been terrible!

[Aliped]

I almost think it's said without thought most of the time. "wow your hair's long, are you going to donate it"? That's the kind of comment I get, which is different from a bashing comment. I just say "no", end of conversation.

[Firefox7275]

Sorry for the rant, but just today I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital, and was approached by a nurse with (of coarse) short hair.

She told me that I should be ashamed of myself for not donating my hair to a cancer organisation so that they make wigs for people going through chemotherapy.

I was infuriated!! How dare someone place that on my head??!! If a woman wishes to grow out her hair, she is under no more or no less obligation that those with short hair to donate.

I couldn't believe it, so I came home and researched on youtube to find a woman with beautiful long hair discussing her opinion on the matter, and she got bashed by comments from other women, calling her selfish, and vain!!

I actually cannot believe that this prejudice exists!!

What are your thoughts??

Rant over!

Next time ask her how many times she has
- grown out her hair and donated for wigs
- donated blood
- donated her eggs
And
- if she and all her family are on the bone marrow register
- if she and all her family are on the organ donor register
- how many kidneys she has
- how many items of clothing or other personal possessions she does not use on a weekly basis she has
- how many children she has given up for adoption to couples suffering infertility
- what percentage of her wages she gifts to charity each month
- what percentage of her leisure time she spends volunteering
- how many spare bedrooms her home has (plenty of space for a homeless person).
My bet is she has a huge amount of possessions, body parts, money, time or space in her home that he doesn't actually NEED to function.

Or just lodge a formal complaint with the hospital about the unprofessional nurse who felt it was her business to comment on the personal appearance and use offensive language to a visitor, distressing a seriously ill patient. And ask them to reeducate all their staff on religious/ faith, cultural, ethical or spiritual reasons why people might choose to grow their hair as long as God/ Mother Nature intended. I don't know what the equal rights legislation/ workplace diversity policies are in the US (if that is what they are) but this incident would surely be a breach in the UK.

[Majormiles]

Wow I can't believe that she actually came up to you to say such a rude and personal thing.

I live in England, and I have never heard of anyone making such suggestions here, I am thinking that possibly such organisations/charities are better documented in the US?

[ExpectoPatronum]

That kind of thing angers me.

If someone were to ask me why I'm not donating my hair, I would just turn it around on them and ask them why they don't grow their hair out to donate it. If you can make me feel selfish, I can do the same thing back at you. Yeah...I'm a bit of a spiteful person.

[chen bao jun]

No one stops people in diamond earrings and tells them they could have used the money for those to give to charity!
actually, my husband gave me some beautiful diamond earrings for my 50th birthday. It was the first really expensive present he got me since we were married, because of raising kids, sending them to college, saving for retirement etc. I found out what people say to people with big diamond earrings. "Have you watched that movie, Blood Diamonds? Do you know they cut little kids hands off in Africa so that you could wear those?"
I have heard this more times than I can count at this point. some people just can't be happy for you--and they don't even bother to be informed. Like, they watch a movie or see a commercial and then know everything and they have the moral high ground whenever they see someone has something they are jealous of.

[Tangle or Curl?]

Wowee. My hair's not long enough to get those comments yet but if it was and I did I'd be kind of stunned.

My responses "First of all, how do you know that I don't?" "Second, if long hair gives me more self confidence what right do you have to tell me to chop it off to put on someone else's head?"

[chen bao jun]

I think it's really inappropriate comment for a whole slew of reasons, but especially for an employee to be making to people visiting family at a hospital. I'd find out who is in charge and let them know about what this employee said to you.
This is a great point, and I would definitely do this. She was so out of line that it's unbelievable, what if you were visiting a dying relative and got verbally attacked like that? Who knows what she has said to others (trust me, this kind of person doesn't only pick on one person one time).

[neko_kawaii]

actually, my husband gave me some beautiful diamond earrings for my 50th birthday. It was the first really expensive present he got me since we were married, because of raising kids, sending them to college, saving for retirement etc. I found out what people say to people with big diamond earrings. "Have you watched that movie, Blood Diamonds? Do you know they cut little kids hands off in Africa so that you could wear those?"
I have heard this more times than I can count at this point. some people just can't be happy for you--and they don't even bother to be informed. Like, they watch a movie or see a commercial and then know everything and they have the moral high ground whenever they see someone has something they are jealous of.

I don't like diamonds. I think they are incredibly boring stones as jewelry. They are great for cutting things though! Amazing industrial applications, diamonds. My husband proposed with a diamond ring and immediately apologized. He doesn't like diamonds either. His mother played the "I'm dying of cancer" card and made him pick a diamond ring. I love my $100 silver wedding ring with unknown green stone inlay, and I'm so glad I'm not required to wear that bland diamond engagement ring. Some people like diamonds, some people like short hair.

It IS rude to guilt people into doing things they don't want to do.

[PetuniaBlossom]

I think it's really inappropriate comment for a whole slew of reasons, but especially for an employee to be making to people visiting family at a hospital. I'd find out who is in charge and let them know about what this employee said to you.

I totally agree. She's an 'employee' of the hospital, and you are there to visit a 'customer' of the hospital (patient.) In the world of customer service, this kind of unsolicited, inappropriate, insulting attack is cause for dismissal. Oh, that is just infuriating.
OP, if you can remember which nurse it was, I'd sure report her to hospital administration. I don't think that kind of behavior is included in nurse's training. I shudder to think what her bedside manner to patients is like.

[nobeltonya]

So far I haven't received any negativity toward my long hair such as that. Mostly I get complimented on it, particularly from older gentlemen. And after taking it out of a top knot like a week ago, this younger guy walked past (in the mall) and was like, "Holy crap your hair is long." lol. Some women will also say they admire it. :) :disco:

[door72067]

something like this was only said to me once, several years ago, after I had 10" cut off (someone polity said "did you donate it?")

and honestly, at the time, I did look into it, but everything I read required 12"+ and I wasn't up for that extra 2" coming off so I didn't do it but knowing what I know now about LoL, I am so glad I didn't

all that said, the rudeness of people never ceases to amaze me, really

[leslissocool]

Whenever this happens I enjoy pointing out that I'm working on my 4th gallon of donated blood and ask them how much they've donated.

only 2% of the population are blood donors, so it's a pretty safe bet :lol:


Gah I went 3 times to give blood and was turned away because I was on all the countries of mad cow disease right when it happened :justy:. So they won't risk it.

Yup, OP next time use a smart ass remark, because that nurse was SO FREAKING RUDE! Seriously, what happened to tackt?!?!

[Agnieszka]

Maybe she was jealous and wanted to hurt you?

[Nae]

Crazy people be crazy.

But they shouldn't be when what they are doing is a form of customer service. I say talk to her supervisor.

[sisi33]

That is all kinds of bamboozling to me. First off, who just goes up to someone and berates them like that?! It's so strange to me that certain people feel that they have the right to just make a flat out remark like that to someone they've never met, nor been introduced to. Second, it's the work place, which makes it so much more inappropriate than it already was. It's yours, and none of her business. End of story.

[chen bao jun]

I don't like diamonds. I think they are incredibly boring stones as jewelry. They are great for cutting things though! Amazing industrial applications, diamonds. My husband proposed with a diamond ring and immediately apologized. He doesn't like diamonds either. His mother played the "I'm dying of cancer" card and made him pick a diamond ring. I love my $100 silver wedding ring with unknown green stone inlay, and I'm so glad I'm not required to wear that bland diamond engagement ring. Some people like diamonds, some people like short hair.

It IS rude to guilt people into doing things they don't want to do.
I am sure your wedding ring is incredibly precious to you as a gift of love, just as my earrings are to me, representing not only my milestone birthday but many, many years of a happy marriage (30 years now) and that my husband values and love me and wants to make me happy.
Your silver and green ring sounds pretty.I'm so glad you got what you wanted. If I met you, I would never make some uncalled for remark about your jewelry, not knowing who gave it to you or what it meant to you emotionally. Jewelry can be very personal and I would think that would be obvious to people, just as it should be obvious that someone might have long hair just because they like it. And that you aren't always called upon to express your opinions on other people's hair, jewelry, clothes, whatever, especially if you are raining on their parade. That's just mean.
I see no reason ever to jump on someone for not donating their hair and I do think that telling someone that their earrings caused little children to be mutilated is a remark that is on a par with that in terms of thoughtlessness, obnoxiousness and just being uninformed. And I have not heard this from just one person. If they are not jealous, that is fine, they still need to keep their mouths shut.
And for the record, I used to think diamonds were bland also, until I saw well-cut stones of extreme good quality. The same way that some people think hair over a certain length is always unkempt with stringy ends--until they see the hair on this forum. Although maybe they might not like long hair even then. Still, they need to keep their mouths shut. Really. No one asked their opinion.

[chen bao jun]

BTW, my husband bought my earrings from whiteflash.com, a company not only does not use unethically sourced diamonds, but contributes to educating children in Africa.
People don't always know everything about everything when they open their mouths. I'm sure that hospital nurse thinks she knows all about that caring company that helps so many children with cancer, Locks of Love. (sarcasm alert)

[ravenreed]

You know, no one has ever suggested that option to me. I think I give off a "Don't F*** with me vibe" or something because people generally keep such comments out of my hearing. I treasure my ignorance.


I can guarantee that no American with hair longer than waist needs a suggestion about Locks of Love. We have already heard about it.....over and over...and...

[spidermom]

I agree that if she feels so strongly, she can grow out her own hair and donate it. I had someone ask me if I was going to donate my hair once, and I said no - I was going to keep and enjoy it. She didn't continue into a rude remark, thank goodness.

[PrincessIdril]

I'm a terrible person because my response would be along the lines of "When hair loss becomes fatal is when I will donate my hair"
So glad hair donation isn't a major thing in the UK, I would be livid if people kept asking/telling me to donate my hair.

[jeanniet]

You know, no one has ever suggested that option to me. I think I give off a "Don't F*** with me vibe" or something because people generally keep such comments out of my hearing. I treasure my ignorance.

Maybe it's age, 'cause I definitely give off that vibe (or try to). I think I'd just say, "Are you trying to be a b*tch, or does it come naturally?" :p

[cmdinoto]

I have had a couple people call me selfish for growing my hair out and not donating it. Most people imply, "Wow your hair is so long, maybe you should donate it." I feel that I need no excuses because I will do what I want with my hair. It is apart of my body and people should not judge other people like this. I think these people are rude and I will not take their comment personally (I know this is really hard to do!!!). Don't think you need an excuse or have to justify why you have long hair. I know that I would spiral into a deep depression if I cut my hair. It's not worth me dwelling and obessing over my short hair wishing it was long. I will donate to charity the way I want to with money and not with hair. OK now I am ranting haha.

[Kherome]

File a complaint with the hospital.

[gnome82]

I WAS a nurse and worked with nurses for 8 years, I am not surprised at the judgmental tone, there are some very compassionate carers and nurses but I noticed mostly overtired burnt-out women who no longer had compassion and were very judgmental or they were just stuck up/ up themselves.

[akilina]

I love the rebuttal of...why didn't this b***h grow her own hair out to donate it, I stead of "wasting it" on the ground month after month to be swept up and thrown in land fills lol.

Plus, the one about the kidneys never gets old :) I can't wait to have long hair.

[SweetBronze]

Can't make everyone happy. I'm wearing my hair this way just to piss you and everybody off! Your opinion mattered so much, that I wasn't able to do anything to my own body because of what YOU thought. * Eyes roll* It's okay to be selfish with some things, it's your body. If they want to donate hair so badly then they should do it. It's also very simple minded to assume that someone is more selfish because they have long hair, the things adults say sometimes sound like things immature kids on a playground would say.


There was this actress that cut all of her hair off and pulled her wig off to show her bald head ( I forgot her name) and there were people in some comment sections angry because they saw growing hair was a privilege and how DARE a woman cut all of her hair off because there are people that can't grow any. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

[HumanBean]

She shaved it for a role. Karen Gillian (Dr. Who)

[Natalia]

Yeah that would piss me off too. When I get that comment its usually specific to kids so I tell them the truth kids who do wear wigs generally wear synthetic hair its cheap and durable. Ask them to think about how they would feel if their haior never grew again, hair still breaks but it never grows that's what having a human hair wig is like.

[Unofficial_Rose]

If it were me (and I don't have your beautiful hair!) I would just make a big point of swishing my hair around and smile broadly at her. With a little hint of "don't ***** with me" in the smile. :twisted:

[terpentyna]

I've never even heard of a cancer patient annoyed at the fact that someone won't donate hair.

I'm pretty sure bone marrow and blood matter more anyway.

[xohbihitztix]

Couldn't agree more...
And I second the photographer statement! Lol.

[AnnaB]

this is unbelievable! she had NO right to say that to you!!

I agree with above, if she wants to donate hair, then she should of grown it herself.

I just don't understand why some people think it's okay to be rude and telling others what to do with their hair.

Just reading it made me angry for you!!

[Heavy Raindrops]

I have had people suggest that I should donate my hair but I have not been called selfish for keeping it long. I would just use the 'grow your own hair out + donate it' (if possible anyway) if they would call me selfish for keeping my hair long.

[lapushka]

Easy. It's always up, so no one bothers me about it.

[PetuniaBlossom]

Maybe it's age, 'cause I definitely give off that vibe (or try to). I think I'd just say, "Are you trying to be a b*tch, or does it come naturally?" :p

Heh! Good one.
Back in the day, at least 10 years ago, I actually did cut from almost waist to about chin length, and donated it to Locks of Love. I'd just seen a segment about it on Oprah, and I was inspired.
Nowadays, if anyone would make such a comment to me, I'd tell them I already did and have since learned what a mistake it was.

[VixenWolfMare]

A. Not everyone who has cancer wants a wig.
B. from what i understand they don't always use the hair and it gets sold.
C. If long hair is slefish i suppose haveing two kindneys is two.

[RileyJane]

See I get that that may be her first thought when seeing your awesome mane, but at the same time as already expressed a) she can grow hers out and do it b) I heard 90% of most hair donated isn't actually used for wigs it is thrown away c) I have actually donated 2 times already, back when I used to love growing it to my hips and chopping for fun. Past that.... It is your hair and you can do with it what you please

[humble_knight]

This mean battleaxe may be used to getting away with rude comments to patients' relatives, patients and fellow nurses. Next time you see her, take note of her name and write a written complaint to the ward manager and to the head of nursing at the hospital your grandma is at. These kind of evil hags need bringing down a peg, or two.

[MiamiPineapple]

This happened to me last weekend too. My friend has another friend at work with very long hair and she said she would never donate it. He called her a selfish you know what. I told him I agree with her 100%. He couldn't believe it! I told him to take a few years to grow his hair out and then he will know how much work it is! Besides, long hair to me is an accessory I choose to have. I am not obligated to give it away.

[bte]

The length of one's hair is nobody's business except the owner of the hair. I would just say "When are you going to grow yours out?"

[truepeacenik]

"And how many times have you donated marrow stem cells?"

I get that caregiver professions have a lot of burnt-out people, and tired people have internal editors/social editors shut down.

It's the whole demanding-ness of the donate your hair squad that bothers me.

On a slightly related note, last week on the US game show Jeopardy, a young girl (kids week) had donated half of her hair to LOL, and the host proceeded to talk about how they "give wigs to kids with cancer."

I want to suggest the show's fact checkers do a bit of fact checking on that.

If LOL is supporting children with alopecia, wouldn't they want the awareness of alopecia to go up?

[going gray]

Next time someone says that to you, ask them if they still have two kidneys. If they say yes, berate them for being so selfish as to keep the second one, since they only really NEED one, and someone else can't live without the extra. :patrol:

Or if you don't feel like being a smart ass :p educate them on the realities of hair donation. :agree:

Perfect, absolutely perfect. The nerve of these people!

[Othala]

If someone asked me that question I would tell them to eff off.

[spirals]

How about a simple "You don't know me well enough to make that judgement."? I really hate having my character slandered by strangers. If I wanted that, I'd go to work.

[Moonfall]

No one has ever said that to me, but a teacher did tell my sister to do it. Her teacher had done it a few days ago and somehow thought that had given her the right to tell my sis to do it, too. I don't understand why people think they can just tell others what to do - I mean, why would you let anyone decide something like that for you? I personally think it's rude.

[Viola88]

People telling me what to do drives me ape **** (not including my boss of course).

After yelling at them about what I think about Locks of Love as an organization and I have hennaed hair so they don't want my hair anyway, I would dive into a diatribe about do they donate blood every 8 weeks, how about being on the bone marrow donation list etc.

[bekstamonkey]

I posted this on FB a few days ago regarding this very topic, having had my first experience with being called 'selfish'...

Today I had my first experience with someone hounding me to donate my hair to Locks of Love. Started out with them asking (after seeing my hair out) whether I was growing it to donate it. I said no, I like long hair. They started on the dying kiddies spiel and then actually said it was "a little selfish" of me to just grow it for myself! I tried to explain that her image of Locks of Love is distorted, that a great deal of the hair is either thrown out or sold rather than used to make wigs, which are also not given away for free to those 'dying kiddies'...but it's like she wasn't hearing a thing. It's like all she was hearing was me saying I'm a cancer-lovin' child hater or something LOL. So I asked her if she was looking to donate any of her internal organs, as surely there are plenty of sick folk who could them. She goes, oh it's not the same thing. I can't live without those. I said, sure you can. People donate one of their kidneys all the time, parts of their liver, too. She had no comeback to that one, just looked a little peeved that I'd dare throw the ball back at her "selfishness."

I walked away and became even more determined to get my hair supernaturally long so I can use it to strangle people who think they have the right to dictate what I do with my hair.

[chen bao jun]

This is an interesting video with a lady sharing why she loves her knee-length hair. Not that you have to explain anything to anybody.. but people might enjoy this. I think it was posted on LHC a while ago, but I am not sure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7GxU0LTTc

[Pixie2013]

Truly, some people think they can say whatever they want to others! It is mind-boggling that she should feel it is her business to tell you what to do with your hair.

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

How ridiculous. I wouldn't personally wear a wig made of human hair - it'd freak me out too much. Of course, if I died they could have it, like my organs. People should respect other's choices. Also, as a nurse, she should have been more sensitive to the fact that you were in hospital for a REASON. Hope your grandma is Ok!

EDIT: Just thought, all these people with short hair - how dare they not grow it out to donate it? How selfish! /sarcasm.

[teddygirl]

The same could be said for people who don't donate blood. I can see both sides, but what you (or I!) do with my body is my own business, and no one should be lecturing or criticizing you for your choice.

[Schipperchow]

I honestly do not understand why some people think it's appropriate to give unsolicited advise about what others should do with their own hair. Your hair is beautiful & as others have said, I would report her inappropriate and unprofessional conduct to the hospital administration.

[jessicac1]

I would report her too.
You can't talk to someone like that!
She was probably jealous of it, as fantastic as it is if you do your bit for charity, your hair is part of you as are your kidneys and blood so it is your choice and yours alone.

[cobden 28]

Perhaps this nurse was receiving some sort of commission from this 'Locks of Love' organisation for every person she persuded to sell their long hair to them? If I was in your position I'd have said something very rude and unladylike in reply!'

[alexis917]

First of all, I read Locks of Love is for patients with alopecia, not cancer.
Second, if I had cancer, I would hope someone would donate money to get me a nice, high quality, synthetic wig. I find it unlikely that after going through chemo, a cancer patient would have the energy to set time aside to care for hair. Real human hair wigs require more maintenance than synthetics.

[Komao]

I can't believe it, either. There are so many ways a person can donate to society. How about giving a little piece of your heart to those who need some love and attention.
How nervy to suggest that to you. Maybe you should suggest she grow her hair long and perhaps she could offer the world some beauty, that is desperately more in need of.
Does she have a diamond or wedding band? Designer shoes or goes to salon on a regular basis?
Is she a clothes horse? I'm sure she spends money on something frivolous that she could donate.
I just don't understand how someone can approach you and make statements like that. Absurd.

She is probably jealous of your beautiful hair. :)

[MsBubbles]

Gah I went 3 times to give blood and was turned away because I was on all the countries of mad cow disease right when it happened :justy:. So they won't risk it.

Yep. Same here. I will never be able to donate blood or plasma in the US because I lived in the UK til I was 20 (during the mad cow years).

Oddelabop...you mean to say some stranger came up to you out of the blue and the only thing she said to you was that you should be ashamed, etc.? That's just flat weird in itself. Or was there a brief conversation before that between you about long hair?

Also, your friend that is 'on a mission' to get you to cut your hair back to shoulder length...yeah I probably wouldn't hang out with someone like that.

PS I have never received this comment about locks of love and donating my hair. I guess my hair must look like crap!

[clioariane]

ew, who does this? your hair is your business.

[lapushka]

Just watched this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ADisa_jH_s

[Nae]

Just watched this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ADisa_jH_s

Lol, I just saw this on youtube. I thought of this thread and here you beat me to it. So funny.

[Wasy]

ha ha i would have gone mental! what a judgemental... well i don't think i'm allowed to swear on here, but you get the idea! I would have asked her if she could think of something else to make the world a better place :P

[lapushka]

Lol, I just saw this on youtube. I thought of this thread and here you beat me to it. So funny.

The wigs! It's hilarious! I love Torrin! :D

[oddelabop]

Oddelabop...you mean to say some stranger came up to you out of the blue and the only thing she said to you was that you should be ashamed, etc.? That's just flat weird in itself. Or was there a brief conversation before that between you about long hair?

Also, your friend that is 'on a mission' to get you to cut your hair back to shoulder length...yeah I probably wouldn't hang out with someone like that.

PS I have never received this comment about locks of love and donating my hair. I guess my hair must look like crap!

Firstly your hair is wonderful, it seems I've just come across an interfering busy body of a woman!
i was actually in the hospital brushing my grandmothers hair for her (she's very sick at the moment) and the nurse walked past and passed a comment on my own hair. People these days!!

and my friend, yes she is a strange one like that. Ironically she wants to grow her hair out from shoulder length!

could not agree more with all the comments written on this thread. I think at the time when I wrote the post I was enraged! Haha :) I've calmed down a bit now :)

[oddelabop]

Just watched this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ADisa_jH_s

Hahahahah so funny!! Just watched this now!!

[turquoisedays]

While nobody has ever directly called me selfish, I did feel pressure from a friend in high school to donate my waist length hair. She had donated a couple times herself.

In a situation like this I would be tempted to say something like "Do you also feel the impulsive need to approach those who look healthy to tell them they should donate blood?"

[Silver Sister]

No wonder women feel pressured to cut their hair. While looking at some of the other videos posted in this thread, I got sick watching Tyra Banks (video below) tell a 23 yo that she looked old. The poor girl had never cut her hair in her life. Her fiance cut it while she wept. You just know that she was traumatized! Even the male hairdresser had shoulder length hair, but thought "Mary" should have shorter hair than he has. And there was Tyra with her long hair wig or weave...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmsJD-rk6GQ&feature=endscreen

[Komao]

The link was great. I'm subscribed to Torrinpage for along time now but missed this. Thanks I needed a laugh:D

[oddelabop]

No wonder women feel pressured to cut their hair. While looking at some of the other videos posted in this thread, I got sick watching Tyra Banks (video below) tell a 23 yo that she looked old. The poor girl had never cut her hair in her life. Her fiance cut it while she wept. You just know that she was traumatized! Even the male hairdresser had shoulder length hair, but thought "Mary" should have shorter hair than he has. And there was Tyra with her long hair wig or weave...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmsJD-rk6GQ&feature=endscreen

Tyra banks is a horrible woman from what I've seen. I watch ANTM and she spends her life shaving beautiful girls long hair off (meanwhile as you say wearing a weave). That's real jealousy in my eyes

[Silver Sister]

I think it qualifes as being cruel to belittle someones appearance because of hair length.

[MsBubbles]

i was actually in the hospital brushing my grandmothers hair for her (she's very sick at the moment) and the nurse walked past and passed a comment on my own hair.

That is just kind of borderline crazy, to me. Now I want to go there, find her, follow her around and torment her about something random.

[brindlebabe]

Such a rude thing to have said to you Oddela! I have hair that is tailbone length, and while I have had quite a few ask me if I grow it for the purpose of donating it (to which I respond, "No. I grow it for my own enjoyment and plus I haven't had to spend money on a hair cut in about 10 years!") I have never had anyone tell me I was selfish to want my hair for myself! Such a comment seems absurd! I live in Alabama, though, so people here tend to be rude about religion and politics instead of how a woman wears her hair. :p
There is nothing selfish about growing your hair out for you!
A woman must learn what brings her happiness and confidence and put these things into practice. For most of us here, feeling our hair brushing our arms as it hangs around us in waves after wearing braids all night or feeling the sleek elegance of an up-do finally done just right brings us joy, makes us aware of our beauty. It is a part of who we are and how we know ourselves. Keep your head high!

[chen bao jun]

Tyra's kind of wierd that way. That was a big theme on her show, cutting other people's hair off, while waving her own hairweave around. I saw a video in which she told one poor girl that she was going to make a weave for herself with the girl's hair. She once posted her own 'natural' hair--and it was still obviously fake, the woman just has issues. I don't think we're allowed to post links to haircutting videos per forum rules, though. That one was stressful, too. the poor girl cried and cried.

[HintOfMint]

I remember one day during my freshman year of high school, Locks of Love had come to our school to do some ritual shearing. We had a substitute teacher in my social studies class and he stands in front of the class and surveys all the girls and tut tuts, "My my, look at all the lovely long heads of hair we have on these young ladies today who decided to NOT donate today," or something to that effect. He was obviously openly shaming a bunch of 14 year old girls for not cutting their hair for "charity!" Of course he'd never expect the boys in the class to have grown their hair out to cut it all off, that's just for chicks, clearly.

I was sitting there with a shorter-than bob haircut, so he excused me, how magnanimous of him. :rolleyes:

[CurlMonster]

No wonder women feel pressured to cut their hair. While looking at some of the other videos posted in this thread, I got sick watching Tyra Banks (video below) tell a 23 yo that she looked old. The poor girl had never cut her hair in her life. Her fiance cut it while she wept. You just know that she was traumatized! Even the male hairdresser had shoulder length hair, but thought "Mary" should have shorter hair than he has. And there was Tyra with her long hair wig or weave...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmsJD-rk6GQ&feature=endscreen

That's horrible. :( That poor woman.. I never understand why they always hack off women's hair in makeovers. If they've had long hair all their lives, it's because they like it. They're not going to be happy with a bob! Plus having the whole audience there watching must've made her feel that she couldn't say no! No one should ever be pressured into a chop like that. Hair is personal and a lot of people attach many emotions to their hair. Just because one person doesn't feel attached to their own hair doesn't mean they should presume others aren't.

[Kaelee]

No wonder women feel pressured to cut their hair. While looking at some of the other videos posted in this thread, I got sick watching Tyra Banks (video below) tell a 23 yo that she looked old. The poor girl had never cut her hair in her life. Her fiance cut it while she wept. You just know that she was traumatized! Even the male hairdresser had shoulder length hair, but thought "Mary" should have shorter hair than he has. And there was Tyra with her long hair wig or weave...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmsJD-rk6GQ&feature=endscreen


That's horrible. :( That poor woman.. I never understand why they always hack off women's hair in makeovers. If they've had long hair all their lives, it's because they like it. They're not going to be happy with a bob! Plus having the whole audience there watching must've made her feel that she couldn't say no! No one should ever be pressured into a chop like that. Hair is personal and a lot of people attach many emotions to their hair. Just because one person doesn't feel attached to their own hair doesn't mean they should presume others aren't.

*shudders* What a horrible, horrible woman. And shame on all the people in the audience cheering, also. Sick.

I actually really hope I get called to one of those makeover shows so that I can PUBLICLY tell them where they can go. Sick people.

That's even worse than "What not to wear" (where they ambush people and tell them their clothes suck on camera).

[Kaelee]

Just watched this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ADisa_jH_s

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The one I get is "your hair is so pretty! It looks fake!!!!" :lol:

[trolleypup]

I just tell them that LOL is a front for the human hair extensions industry, that they only use a tiny percentage of the donated hair, the rest is sold to the extensions industry or tossed in dumpsters, that the owners of LOL take home handsome salaries. With any luck they will think again about harassing another longhair.

Then I finish by saying that if I cut my hair, the wig department at the Opera has first dibs, and that I am vain enough to want to know that my hair would be gracing the wigs of heroines and character parts for decades to come.

And if they bring up the selfish statement, I agree with them and tell them one of my life mantras "What I want, when I want, how I want!" I actually get that more often over being childfree than donating my hair. (That gets the "Sorry, too late *snipping motions*!")

[juliaxena]

*shudders* What a horrible, horrible woman. And shame on all the people in the audience cheering, also. Sick.

I actually really hope I get called to one of those makeover shows so that I can PUBLICLY tell them where they can go. Sick people.

That's even worse than "What not to wear" (where they ambush people and tell them their clothes suck on camera).

I hope you get called on one of those shows as well. That would be extremly fun to watch.

[AnqeIicDemise]

Last time someone asked me this question they were on the receiving end of The Stank eye. I said nothing. I did nothing but give a rather stern glare until she simply looked away and scuddled off.

Some questions do not deserve answers.

[truepeacenik]

I just tell them that LOL is a front for the human hair extensions industry, that they only use a tiny percentage of the donated hair, the rest is sold to the extensions industry or tossed in dumpsters, that the owners of LOL take home handsome salaries. With any luck they will think again about harassing another longhair.

Then I finish by saying that if I cut my hair, the wig department at the Opera has first dibs, and that I am vain enough to want to know that my hair would be gracing the wigs of heroines and character parts for decades to come.

And if they bring up the selfish statement, I agree with them and tell them one of my life mantras "What I want, when I want, how I want!" I actually get that more often over being childfree than donating my hair. (That gets the "Sorry, too late *snipping motions*!")


So, you basically get harassed if you nip, or you don't? ;)

[ghost]

Every once in a while, some poor misguided soul will ask me why I don't donate my hair. I just tell them I have my hair long to please myself and my sense of aesthetics, and that I don't "owe" it to anyone. Also, every last inch of my long hair is dyed jet black and has been for years, I doubt anyone would take it if I did want to donate.

[lulana]

If someone would say something like that to me i would reply: "just strike out your finger, and point to your own nose, the person you now touch, is the only one you have the right to tell something like that to, don't bother others with your opinion as long as they don't want to hear it!" seriously if she mentioned it in a friendly way i would reply friendly and strictly that i won't but this is such a rude way i guess she did't have any education at all :rolleyes:

[Silver Sister]

I don't think we're allowed to post links to haircutting videos per forum rules, though.

I'm very sorry. Somehow I missed that in forum rules. Mods, please delete if impermissible. I'm sorry.

[Wildcat Diva]

...
I walked away and became even more determined to get my hair supernaturally long so I can use it to strangle people who think they have the right to dictate what I do with my hair.

This quote is so awesome.

[kme81]

Wow. Nervy!

I have only been asked that once so far, but it was from the sweetest person I know and she said it in the most ignorant and flattering way ever: "You should donate your hair to LoL, it would make a beautiful wig." I just said that I'm growing it out for me right now, but maybe someday I will donate it. (not to LoL though! I may even try to sell it and use the money for a charity of my choice.)

[Komao]

That's the right word, *shudders*' I get this awful chill up my spine when I see hair being chopped off.
I don't like to watch those videos. It feels almost masochistic to me. I agree with the other post where a lot of times the "expert"' (I use that term loosely) hair stylist is a man with long hair.
I too felt very sorry for that young girl being told how old she looked.
It made me feel badly for her when she was crying. That's not my kind of entertainment.
I thought she had a pretty face and even with new hairstyle looked attractive BUT when you've had hair that long, I think by the next day, if not sooner, you will miss it. I wish they could have cut it to waist length if she needed a change.
I didn't care for audience cheering, either. I guess it's a lesson to us all, that do what you really want, make your own choices and who gives a damn what anybody else thinks:boxer:

[jasper]

My friends who have dealt with chemo hair loss have not wanted to wear wigs. They found hats and scarves more comfortable.

[hannabiss]

I don't understand why people feel they are at liberty to tell another person to cut there hair. Plus how do they know you haven't donated. My aunt has tailbone length she has donated hair 4 times. She grows it to classic and cuts it back to hip. So when people give her crap it really makes me feel bad for her but if she choose not its her damn hair.grow your own and donate.

[chen bao jun]

It really is jealousy pure and simple. there is no reason to be going around telling complete strangers to donate except jealousy. I can see that someone might not personally like long hair, but when its THAT important to them that they go around telling someone to donate everytime they see a beautiful head of hair, they are a jealous witch and that's it. Like our friend Tyra, only she's a bit more subtle about it.

[Komao]

I walked away and became even more determined to get my hair supernaturally long so I can use it to strangle people who think they have the right to dictate what I do with my hair.This quote is so awesome.

I love this quote too:D

[Nae]

It really is jealousy pure and simple. there is no reason to be going around telling complete strangers to donate except jealousy. I can see that someone might not personally like long hair, but when its THAT important to them that they go around telling someone to donate everytime they see a beautiful head of hair, they are a jealous witch and that's it. Like our friend Tyra, only she's a bit more subtle about it.

I disagree. A lot of people see about shoulder length as plenty of hair. Those people may look at someone with tailbone hair and think, "Gee, if they donated, their hair would still be decently long. I wonder if they know about locks of love?" They see the extra hair as just that.....extra. It might as well be "helping a kid with cancer." (Yeah, I know that isn't a good understanding of what these places do, but that is what they think happens.)

Heck, there are a lot of people in this world that don't like the look of long hair at ALL. For those folks, and for the folks who consider shoulder length to BSL length of hair long jealousy has nothing to do with it. They just think all that "extra" hair could be better utilized helping someone else.

:shrug:

[Komao]

I disagree. A lot of people see about shoulder length as plenty of hair. Those people may look at someone with tailbone hair and think, "Gee, if they donated, their hair would still be decently long. I wonder if they know about locks of love?" They see the extra hair as just that.....extra. It might as well be "helping a kid with cancer." (Yeah, I know that isn't a good understanding of what these places do, but that is what they think happens.)

Heck, there are a lot of people in this world that don't like the look of long hair at ALL. For those folks, and for the folks who consider shoulder length to BSL length of hair long jealousy has nothing to do with it. They just think all that "extra" hair could be better utilized helping someone else.

:shrug:

It's fine if they think that regarding long hair and I'm sure some people do but I still feel it's so rude to walk up to a stranger and tell them what they can do with their hair. It would be like me telling you what I think you could do with the money in your wallet. Very inappropriate. If a friend or even acquaintance were having a discussion and one said I think I might like to cut my hair and the other suggested that it be donated, that I could understand. I think people have to learn that there is a time and a place, a season for all things. They have to become sensitive to others feelings and I certainly would not want to walk up to a person who practices the Sikh religion, for example and suggest they donate their hair:thud:

[Nae]

Oh, no doubt it is rude, I just question it being motivated by jealousy. I hear that a lot here and I just disagree.

[chen bao jun]

Well, its nothing to argue about. But its interesting, I don't hear stories of a lot of men going around telling women to donate their hair. It always seems to be other women. I'm sorry, it kind of reminds me of the thing that goes on some churches where the other women keep telling some women they are immodest. While I agree that modest dress is best, especially in a worship setting, I can't help but notice that somehow nobody seems to notice when the not very attractive girl's skirt is 1/2 too short, but they all come running to preach at the girl when she's pretty. It's also often quite remarkable about how the same woman that wore flattering clothing when she was 35 and slender suddenly becomes 'convicted' that the same clothes that she used to wear herself are sinful once she hits 50 and weighs more than she likes. (i am post 50 myself by the way, so I am not simply snagging on olderwomen). I just think its the same mindset, even when the attacker doesn't let themselves know it. You can take the moral high ground and scotch the competition at the same time....Call me cynical but I have noticed that this goes on. I exempt Holiness/Pentecostal and those kind of churches where its definitely part of doctrine and you always see everyone in the looser longer clothes from being hypocritical about this by the way. It's only the churches where people do follow fashions.

[Komao]

Oh, no doubt it is rude, I just question it being motivated by jealousy. I hear that a lot here and I just disagree.

I see what your saying and you certainly have a right to your opinion. Truthfully, I don't know if it's jealousy, bad manners or a total lack of respect for others. In the end, in my opinion, whatever this behavior is motivated by it's ugly.
I think you have to think of people's feelings, first and foremost. If someone approached me with that BS I first would feel hurt but then I would feel angry. I just think the world would be better off if people thought a little more before they open their mouths and give their opinions to perfect strangers. If I saw a girl with short hair, whatever motivation would make me approach her and say, why don't you grow your hair and then cut it, donate it and start the whole cycle over and if you don't you're selfish. Even if I'm not jealous at all, it still is equally as nasty as whatever is motivating me to behave in this way. :)

[lulana]

I wonder how awful it would feel for a person if she or he have had cancer and now that he/she recovered and want to grow long hair for joy would have been asked this rude question?
People should really be careful what they are talking about and to whom they might speak to :mad:

[gnome82]

My friends who have dealt with chemo hair loss have not wanted to wear wigs. They found hats and scarves more comfortable.

Thank You for sharing this, I wondered, as I don't like the idea of wearing someone else's hair.

[Killahkurlz]

I love your signature. @katielou

[Killahkurlz]

Well, its nothing to argue about. But its interesting, I don't hear stories of a lot of men going around telling women to donate their hair. It always seems to be other women.

I actually read an article about this. Guys HATE when girls cut their hair short, or at all for that matter. The greater percentage of men would rather a girl's hair be long and unhealthy than short and healthy.

[heidi w.]

Lots of people are highly opinionated and nasty about it too. I can be at times.
Just forget it and keep your hair long, or however you like it.
And remember: being happy and living well is the best revenge ever.
heidi w.

[Komao]

Lots of people are highly opinionated and nasty about it too. I can be at times.
Just forget it and keep your hair long, or however you like it.
And remember: being happy and living well is the best revenge ever.
heidi w.

thanks for this, it's good to remember this as it is so true:)

Your hair is so beautiful!

[Komao]

I love your signature. @katielou

Thank you. I might be crazy but I love poetry about long hair:flower: It's like music to my ears.

[Tristania]

First of all, it's not as if cancer patients get wigs for free. They are extremely expensive, and they have to pay for them (even if it's just a deductible). Second, most hair that is donated does not go to cancer patients. They are sold as extensions/fashion wigs. Thirdly, their quality control is usually so strict that even if someone did chop off their hair, they may not even accept it and would literally just dump it in the trash.

I. Will. Not. Donate. Grow your own damn hair people, and throw in some eggs and a kidney while you're at it.

[Komao]

First of all, it's not as if cancer patients get wigs for free. They are extremely expensive, and they have to pay for them (even if it's just a deductible). Second, most hair that is donated does not go to cancer patients. They are sold as extensions/fashion wigs. Thirdly, their quality control is usually so strict that even if someone did chop off their hair, they may not even accept it and would literally just dump it in the trash.

I. Will. Not. Donate. Grow your own damn hair people, and throw in some eggs and a kidney while you're at it.

Are you sure about your statement? You sound a little iffy on the subject, :lol: My sentiments too and that is what I have read re: donated hair!

[Arien]

It's none of anybody else's business what you do with your hair... Just like any other stupid, childish, over-opinionated or nasty comment... Ignore it :). Water off of a ducks back! ;)

[Tristania]

Are you sure about your statement? You sound a little iffy on the subject, :lol: My sentiments too and that is what I have read re: donated hair!

I thought this was relatively common knowledge. Actually, I take that back; if it were, people wouldn't urge long-hairs to support such a dubious industry.

[Kaelee]

My friends who have dealt with chemo hair loss have not wanted to wear wigs. They found hats and scarves more comfortable.

I have a friend going through chemo who takes the opportunity to wear long, flowing, brightly colored cosplay wigs. She has a pink one right now, we're saying she needs to get a teal one! ;)

[chen bao jun]

I actually read an article about this. Guys HATE when girls cut their hair short, or at all for that matter. The greater percentage of men would rather a girl's hair be long and unhealthy than short and healthy.

There's some guys who don't care. My dad liked my mom's short 4b type hair--thought it was fascinating and super attractive (his mom and sisters all had wavy hair to waist and tailbone). My hubby met me when my hair was earlength (like, the only time in my life when it was that short) he was like, uh, what's going on when it grew back longer. ('you're pretty anyway', was his comment). However, I can't imagine that even either one of them would ever walk up to a woman and say, Your hair's too long, you need to donate it, or even make that remark about a girl to someone else--only women police other women like that, so its suspicious to say the least.

[catamonica]

I would have said I love my long hair. It's a part of me. And I don't want to donate. And it's not your business.

[humble_knight]

I actually read an article about this. Guys HATE when girls cut their hair short, or at all for that matter. The greater percentage of men would rather a girl's hair be long and unhealthy than short and healthy.

And some men would rather a girl be healthy and not give a fig about the length of her hair, or even if she had any hair at all.

[trolleypup]

For what it is worth, I get this from men and women, but usually women.

[Nedertane]

I don't hear stories of a lot of men going around telling women to donate their hair. It always seems to be other women.


I actually read an article about this. Guys HATE when girls cut their hair short, or at all for that matter. The greater percentage of men would rather a girl's hair be long and unhealthy than short and healthy.


I call BS on the idea of men not policing longhairs on this issue, sorry. If you look around the forum (heck, maybe in just this thread) you'll see plenty of stories from longhairs about being judged by men for not having donated their hair. It's possible that men maybe don't do it quite as often as women, but it's not like it doesn't happen. I'm pretty sure most guys don't actually care that much about a woman's length though - at least anything that's a bob or longer - and they wouldn't be keeping any judgments quiet just to "save women's hair" lol.

[kitemera15]

I've had several similar incidents, and find it very annoying. What business does she have calling a stranger selfish for not chopping off something that represents years worth of investment. Call me crazy, but I think it's rude to follow up a personal question with a confrontational and judgmental comment about the character of the person being questioned.

[Haybop]

I actually read an article about this. Guys HATE when girls cut their hair short, or at all for that matter. The greater percentage of men would rather a girl's hair be long and unhealthy than short and healthy.

I gotta say, as someone who's dad made made a fuss to ensure all 3 of his daughters kept their hair pixie-short until they were 16 and still makes comments about my mum's hair when it starts getting shoulder length or longer, that men do care they just maybe aren't as outspoken about it in public.

Also, this person is obviously of a personality/character type that is best avoided or reminded of tha age-old adage 'If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all.' It may not be something that's used in life but for her & in her profession maybe it should be!

[Michiru]

"Cancer and alopecia patients do need a lot of support and I can see you're passionate about this. What organization did you donate your hair to?"

ETA: In case the quotes don't make it obvious enough, this would be my ideal reply.


Love it!



(10c)

[Nesoi]

I did donate my hair when I cut it, but after watching various documentaries I went with a local salon for trichotillomania sufferers. They were lovely and it was a nice experience. Although I chose to donate my hair, I find the concept of telling someone else they ought to do so to be completely astonishing. What business is it of theirs? If they're so concerned about it they should spend years growing their hair and then donate it themselves! Good lord.

[chen bao jun]

I call BS on the idea of men not policing longhairs on this issue, sorry. If you look around the forum (heck, maybe in just this thread) you'll see plenty of stories from longhairs about being judged by men for not having donated their hair. It's possible that men maybe don't do it quite as often as women, but it's not like it doesn't happen. I'm pretty sure most guys don't actually care that much about a woman's length though - at least anything that's a bob or longer - and they wouldn't be keeping any judgments quiet just to "save women's hair" lol.
Okay, maybe not all jealous, maybe 'just' judgmental, obnoxious, interfering and controlling. As well as completely tactless.

[chen bao jun]

Now that I think about it, probably the same mindset that thinks they know when people have 'too much' money even when they earned it, and wants to redistribute one way or the other. "From each according to her or his ability (to grow hair), to each according to their need (for said hair)--make sure everybody in the world is exactly at shoulder-length--maybe with the same hairstyle?"

I once saw a very telling poster from North Korea showing the approved Communist hairstyles that everyone was obliged to wear. Here it is. "Let's trim our hair in accordance with the socialist lifestyle." http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-02-22/these-are-your-haircut-options-in-north-korea/

[WilfredAllen]

Fifth, why doesn't she grow her hair long and donate it herself? That's pretty selfish.

I was going to say that too, but then it occurred to me that maybe she had just done that, which could have been why she had short hair.

Anyways, whether or not it is selfish is kinda complicated, and, all kinds of questions like "what is selfishness" need to be answered first and I'm not prepared to do that. Then, of course, there is the question of if, or when, selfishness is a bad. And I definitely don't want to get into that lol

BUT in the end, it's just as selfish for you to not to grow/cut your hair to make others happy as it is for anyone else who doesn't grow/cut their hair for charities. Let's just hope her logic is consistent, and she approaches every single non-bald person in this way :P

[deniz]

That's so stupid. You can use the same argument for wealth and say: It is selfish and vain to have a lot of money because there are people that need it. Does that mean we should donate every penny we don't need for survival? Of course not! Giving to charity is meant to be a choice! And we all have our own ways of contributing.
Plus, it's like she was saying that you don't need hair, so you should donate it every time it grows up to a certain length. But that argument is counter-intuitive, because from there you can say: Hey, if we don't really need hair, then why do people that have lost hair need wigs?
I think it's just a case of speaking without thinking. Be proud of your long hair. Of course, any form of charity is great, but the point of charity is that you choose to do it. Most people don't feel comfortable with cutting all their hair and there's nothing wrong with that. :)

[vendethiel]

First of all, I read Locks of Love is for patients with alopecia, not cancer.
Second, if I had cancer, I would hope someone would donate money to get me a nice, high quality, synthetic wig. I find it unlikely that after going through chemo, a cancer patient would have the energy to set time aside to care for hair. Real human hair wigs require more maintenance than synthetics.

^This. I know someone with alopecia and she bought human hair wig and hated it. It required so much more maintenance than synthetic hair. She said it was itchy and didn't look as good on her as a synthetic wig. Anytime it go wet, she had to restyle it; if it was too hot, she had to restyle it. Even exposure to too much sunlight could damage the wig. She got this wig when she was so sick she could barely get out of bed in the morning. It was so much better for her to have a synthetic wig that she could finger-comb and wear. Even now that she is feeling better, a human hair wig is just too much work for her compared to a synthetic wig. Wigs also wear out at a rapid rate, they begin to look shabby and fit badly, so they need to be replaced often. A synthetic hair wig is a much better choice for her, it is easier to care for, less expensive, and replacement isn't nearly as difficult or expensive.

I get these suggestions now and then. I used to just change the subject, but now I think I would educate the person. I would explain that my hair might not make it to a wig, that it seems many people prefer synthetic wig options, and that I would rather donate my time and money to lifesaving charities that would use my donation as I wanted, not to a charity that might throw it away or sell it.

[prettyinpink]

Say to her "You have two kidneys, don't you?"

She's jealous she cant grow long hair!!

[prettyinpink]

Oh, and my mom was a cancer patient and she got 3 free synthetic wigs

[Foxylocks]

What an awful woman that nurse was! That is selfish of the nurse, not of you. If she has the nerve to tell you to cut your hair short and donate it, then why doesn't she grow her own hair long and follow her own advice? :rolleyes: And very impolite, too.

[RedNymph]

This happens to my sister. Her hair goes to her waist and people are always badgering her about donating her hair. I think it's pretty disrespectful and rude. If she wants to donate her hair, she'll donate her hair. If she hasn't expressed wanting to do so, then I don't see how it's anyone's business what she does with her hair.

[NuclearApple]

I've heard artificial wigs are more comfortable and delicate with the skin,especially the sensitive one of people with cancer,i know what cancer is,donating hair never helped anyone's life,and people saying these things about donating hair should shut up and donate their own hair.
fortunately i never received this kind of comments,but if I received i would explaine them what is really helping and what selfish is.

[Cassidy]

Wow, that's horrible! We have a right to do whatever we want with our body. Just because you choose not to donate your hair, doesn't mean that you aren't giving back in other ways... How dare she make such assumptions. I think her comments were probably coming from jealousy. Either that or she is just really narrow-minded.

[alimc]

Wow, what a nasty rude woman. And she's a nurse??! I agree with Cassidy, she was probably jealous. Apart from anything else, it's none of her business how you live your life.

[hanyo]

I remember on occasion having people tell me that if I were to cut my hair that I should donate it rather than throwing it away but only once did someone actually have the nerve to tell me I should cut it off and donate it. It was a complete stranger in a public place too.

I've been trying to think of what to say the next time that happens if it happens again. I'll be especially mad if it happens again since I had cancer and did chemo and radiation last year. I was lucky to get to do a kind that doesn't make your hair fall out so I don't want people telling me to cut my hair and be bald so my hair can go on another cancer patient's head. Do these people ever even think that the "selfish" person that won't cut their hair off for cancer patients might even be a cancer patient themself?

[Nedertane]

Now that I think about it, probably the same mindset that thinks they know when people have 'too much' money even when they earned it, and wants to redistribute one way or the other. "From each according to her or his ability (to grow hair), to each according to their need (for said hair)--make sure everybody in the world is exactly at shoulder-length--maybe with the same hairstyle?"

I once saw a very telling poster from North Korea showing the approved Communist hairstyles that everyone was obliged to wear. Here it is. "Let's trim our hair in accordance with the socialist lifestyle." http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-02-22/these-are-your-haircut-options-in-north-korea/

Pardon my bluntness and/or impulsive reaction, but you aren't seriously comparing people making donation "suggestions" to the socialist dictatorship of North Korea, are you? I may be incorrectly reading here, but your wording almost makes it sound to me like a comparison between "anti-longhairs" and extremist Marxists/socialists.

[Alun]

Thank heaven I have too much grey and/or hennaed hair and too many split ends. None of these organisations would even want my hair!

As many people have said, LoL don't donate wigs to cancer patients, or even actually donate them atall. As a matter of fact, they don't even provide wigs for boys. One of their requirements is you have to be a girl to receive one of their wigs. Of course, guys supposedly look 'normal' without hair (?) or at least would if you were in Dachau or Belsen (yes I know some guys shave their heads deliberately, but I can't fathom why they want to look like a concentration camp inmate, except as a Byzantine plot to avoid looking like Donald Trump). Why go on any further? We have all heard too much about LoL already.

I used to know someone who cut off her hair and donated it, but she never pressured anyone else to follow suit.

Some people do need a wig or at least something to cover their head to make them feel better (or even just keep their head warm!) if they lose their hair suddenly. I guess guys with MPB have a long time to adjust as they lose it gradually, but with chemo I understand they lose it very rapidly. Human hair is only one possibility, though. Hair does grow back after chemo, assuming the patient even survives the cancer, so it's mostly a temporary problem, and a lot of people just wear hats/scarves. I think they outnumber those who wear even a synthetic wig.

I'm not sure what my mum did exactly, following her chemo, as she lives on a different continent, let alone a different country. I do know, though, that she already owned a wig that she had bought years before and not used much. I don't think she was keen on wearing it, though, and she used to wear headscarves at one time even longer ago, so I think she may have worn those. Anyway, her hair grew back. She has always worn it only shoulder length anyway.

I can understand kids being more affected than adults by sudden hair loss, but some people think this only applies to girls (certainly LoL do). If it is due to chemo, why does a purely temporary solution have to be a wig made from someone else's hair that they have taken years to grow? Some people think they need a wig but find that wearing one is just not comfortable anyway. Of course, donating their hair makes some people feel good, but why should someone put this on other people walking around minding their own business with their own long hair on their head?

I guess what are really needed in that scenario are nothing more than snappy comebacks.

[Mesmerise]

I'd be asking when the last time she donated her hair was... and if she said "never", I'd tell her that she was selfish for not growing it for that cause! Sheesh some people are rude!! It is not selfish to keep your long hair. Many people deliberately grow their hair so they can donate it, and kudos to them... generally though, they don't care whether their hair is long or not. Others may decide to go for a short cut, and use the opportunity to donate. Again, that's great! But who wants to go through the entire growing out process again unless they actually LIKE having short hair!

[Teufelchen]

About donating hair, I would never do it, there is so much weird stuff involved and I so never want to support this.
I support cancer research every year to help, but my hair is mine.
I was called selfish once for not wearing my hair down and hiding all that beauty in a bun. The guy who said this was a hair dresser and I went in this salon for manicure and had to fix my bun. So it was more a fun thing and totally ok.