Help me figure out what to ask the stylist

[Anne10]

I'm sitting here trying to remember what exactly my old stylist did. I went to her for so long that trusted her implicitly and hardly paid any attention. We gabbed through each session and when it was over I looked great without having noticed every little step she took along the way.

Here is what I want to ask the stylist, does it sound okay? Is it too much? Am I leaving anything out?

1. Which color product would you use and how would you use it?

2. Would you bring the products out and mix them at the station? (Will a stylist take offense at this? How could I otherwise be sure she's using what I asked her to use?)

3. My color lifts very quickly. How would you accommodate that in your technique?

4. My hair grows straight from the crown of my head and get progressively more curly as you move out to the hairline. I need a trim to even up the ends and add some long layers for movement (but still long enough to pull back into a ponytail). How would you cut it?

5. Will you show me what you want to cut off each time before you cut it?


Here are the answers that I want to hear:

1. The brand of color that my old stylist used, plus the same volume peroxide. Foil (how wide should each section be?), picking up the hair in thin sections, using a rattail comb to separate it, brush to paint it and fold it over once, then under the dryer, then shampoo out and cut/style with a minimum of heat drying. (I never blow fry my hair or use any kind of heat styling. I leave it alone and let it air dry. I have so little hair that it usually just air dries while I'm in the stylist's chair.)

2. Yes.

3. Quick work and a peek under the foil after just 2-3 minutes under the dryer, then shampoo out and cut/style.

4. I don't know what the answer to this should be aside from NO razor blade. My old stylist carefully cut it wet so it was perfect when it dried but I don't know what her technique was. All I can remember is that she did little vertical snips all around the bottom and the ends were so pretty when they dried, plus I had some long blond curls that framed my face beautifully, like this but a little longer so I could pull them back in a ponytail:

http://www-tc.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/senseandsensibility/images/char_lg_marianne.jpg

5. Yes.

So.

- What should I look out for?

- What are some red flag answers that should make me run far and run fast?

[akilina]

Well...do you mean you want to be shown every single section of hair before its cut? Please don't do that. Maybe I read it wrong but do ask the stylist to show you exactly how much you asked for before the initial cut. Asking to see every single section would be ridiculous and time consuming.

Don't try to tell the stylist the technique of how to cut your hair. Im sorry but this is the most irritating thing to me. it makes people feel better and I get that, but it doesn't help. You can tell her that you liked how your old one did the little snips on the ends though. Tell her why you liked it and what effect it had on your hair. I would never show any irritation towards a client when they do this but not all are created equal. It's offensive when it feels like someone who knows nothing about how to cut hair tells you how to do your own job that you're trained and skilled in. Sorry if that is harsh or wrong of me to say.
DO request that absolutely NO razor is used on your hair. Let them know that you are trying to grow out and that your length is very important to you. Do you want full on face framing or just some whispies? Make sure you send that point across.

I'm also confused about some of your q & a deal.....are you wanting the new stylist to know the brand of color your last one used?? Because...that's impossible. I'm also curious, why do you want to know about the foil sections and how big etc etc etc?
I already mix my color in front of people so I'm not sure if it would be offensive or not. Do you want to see because you are nervous and not trusting of them? Or because you want to see how to do it yourself? Which is okay...I mean you could always ask and see what happens...

Good luck...try to be a little more trusting. I hope you have a good experience.

No one has ever asked me any of these questions. I'm not trying to be rude but they just seem strange. Have a little faith in the hairdresser. It's okay to let them know that your hair turns incredibly fast. Its also okay to tell them you are very nervous (if you are)
If you use bleach in your hair maybe tell the new one that your stylist used to use only 5 vol or 10 vol developer with your bleach?? Idk....I have had one client that told me this and she was very right. It turned very fast and perfectly with 5 vol.

[Anne10]

No, not every single section but I have so little hair that probably isn't a big of a deal as you're thinking it would be.

I don't want to tell the stylist how to do her job, I wouldn't know how. What I wrote out is what I could remember of what my old stylist did. I want a stylist that will do the same thing in the same way. Is there a hairdressing term for the little vertical snips on the ends?

I absolutely do NOT trust a stylist I have never been to before. I'd rather ask a lot of questions and make sure we're on the same page and be thought of as strange than go through another hair nightmare, frankly. I appreciate your feedback a lot!

[CurlyCap]

I'll be following this thread. I think you're being really brilliant by thinking of your questions ahead of time, even if you don't know quite what to ask.

I totally agree with you. I DO NOT trust a stylist I have never been to. My experience has been that even if the stylist doesn't know the answer to your questions, if they see that you are really committed to your hair, they tend to go more slowly, more carefully, and to ask questions themselves when there is any uncertainty.

One tip I do have: I know what my hair is like and I know how I'm like. When I make hair appointments, I say I'd like extra time and that I'm willing to pay for it. Lots of people on the phone tell me, "Oh, but a trim only takes 20 minutes!" Well, I have yet to have a 20 minute trim in my life. So I tell them I'll happily pay for 45 minutes of time. What will that cost? If it's acceptable, I pay it. If not, I go elsewhere.

Also, if the stylist does a good job, tip exorbitantly. :p It makes them much more willing to put up with your OCD and special needs in the future!

[akilina]

That is totally understandable to be weary :) let her know you are extremely nervous...she will probably take extra precaution to try to help you feel better. I know I would.
It's totally okay to express all your fears too, it will probably help her target exactly how to make you feel better.

About the color she should be able to pick up exactly what your old stylist with the color and just touch it up. Try to have a little positive outlook that it will go just as well, I hope it does anyway : )

[Anne10]

Well, there's no color left in my hair from the last stylist since it's been years since I've been to a salon. You know how some stylists are trained in particular product lines? The web site says she's trained in the same line that my old stylist used. I want to know if the new stylist would pick the same color or a different one for my hair (a different one might be okay). Also that'll tell me if she's really trained in that line or it just says so on the web site. :)

[Beborani]

I also have hair that behaves differently if cut like straight hair or curly hair. I have moved around a bit in last couple of years so I call a salon and ask if they anyone there would cut my hair as if it is curly even though it is just wavy so I dont have to blow dry it. Only once I didnt ask as I made an appointment with the owner of a 'fancy' salon on a recommendation and he did not cut my hair that way--he did give me a v-cut which was flattering, so I kept the shape but got it redone elsewhere after a couple of months. So now I ask and ask again if they are sure and also wear my hair curly when I go for the cut so they see what I mean. I dont color in salons, so have no idea about that aspect. Even a junior stylist at an Aveda salon cut my hair that way--so I am thinking this is a common enough technique.

[jacqueline101]

Watch her cut others hair and see what she does.

[akilina]

Well, there's no color left in my hair from the last stylist since it's been years since I've been to a salon. You know how some stylists are trained in particular product lines? The web site says she's trained in the same line that my old stylist used. I want to know if the new stylist would pick the same color or a different one for my hair (a different one might be okay). Also that'll tell me if she's really trained in that line or it just says so on the web site. :)
Well you can't expect her to be identical to your last, sorry to say. Just because she can't read your mind and pick out the color you want magically doesn't mean she is not skilled in the line. Try to find a way to describe it as much as possible. do you want very thin subtle highlights? if you dont want that liney highlighted look be sure to say you want a very natural subtle look and that you dont like thick highlights. it's unfortunate that you don't know the last colors exactly. Also, Just because its the same color line doesn't mean the same technique.
Maybe you should ask to see the color book so you can try to pinpoint your colors. :) that might be very helpful.

When is your appt??

[Anne10]

I don't want her to read my mind! I'm hoping she makes a similar suggestion because she'll be thinking along the same lines as my old stylist. I do know what color my old stylist used, she gave me the box. She also wrote what volume peroxide on the box. If the new person wants to do something totally different I will just ask her to use the same color and volume my old stylist did. I want her to use the same technique because that's the result I want. I'm open to different color ideas but nothing drastically different. Yes I want very subtle highlights, NO zebra stripes! Augh! I hate those so much!! I want the stylist to do only what the sun does to my hair naturally.

I don't have an appointment. I haven't called anyone yet because I'm freaking out about the whole thing, as you can see. Most of my hair fell out years ago and there just isn't enough left to have any margin of error anymore so I'm really, really anxious about going to someone new.

[kpzra]

From a client side I can tell you right now no other stylist will do what your old one did, they are a different person with different training/techniques/way of doing things. Unless they have watched your old stylist to see what they did they are going to do what they do. Tell them what you want to achieve but let them do it their way, don't try to micromanage or you both will be miserable.

[kysgrl]

Well, a lot of stylists will not mix in front of you. They teach you not to do that in school. Their recipes are like their secret formula if that makes sense.

[fairview]

As a licensed stylist I'm going to respond to each of your points. When you are in the my chair you are the driver of sorts. You will tell me what your destination is but I will not allow you to draw me a map to that destination. That is why I have a license. I 'own' my station, you are leasing it. I will give you my recommendations/suggestion but in the end you will need to commit and own your destination. If the best you can come up with is do what you think is best, I will ask you to politely step out of my and come back when you have made a decision. I am your tool but I do not wear your hair so I can not make a decision about length, style, cut, or color.


I'm sitting here trying to remember what exactly my old stylist did. I went to her for so long that trusted her implicitly and hardly paid any attention. We gabbed through each session and when it was over I looked great without having noticed every little step she took along the way.

Here is what I want to ask the stylist, does it sound okay? Is it too much? Am I leaving anything out?

1. Which color product would you use and how would you use it?

Salons only carry one brand of color. When you call to book find out what is being used. If it is not your brand. move on to another salon until you find one that carries your brand preference. Wasting a stylist time is a fast way to be being put on the black list. We don't get paid if we don't work.




2. Would you bring the products out and mix them at the station? (Will a stylist take offense at this? How could I otherwise be sure she's using what I asked her to use?)

This is dictated by salon policy. More advanced salons will have a color bar and you get to OBSERVE the entire process not dictate it. If you know how to do my job and are going to tell me how to do my job, you don't need me. At this point, if we even get to this point, I will suggest you find another stylist, please.




3. My color lifts very quickly. How would you accommodate that in your technique?

Outstanding piece of info but in my consult it would be a question I would ask you first and I would say thank you and I will ensure that doesn't happen with us..



4. My hair grows straight from the crown of my head and get progressively more curly as you move out to the hairline. I need a trim to even up the ends and add some long layers for movement (but still long enough to pull back into a ponytail). How would you cut it?

I will cut it in an appropriate manner for you hair density, growth patterns, volume and curl formation. If I have any doubts about what I should be doing, I will consult with a more experienced cosmetologist. The technique you observed with your former stylist is not a technique I own nor one I want to learn today for the first time on you. I learn, repeat, master and own a new technique on mannequin heads, not my guests. I guarantee your satisfaction. I may sound arrogant but I would rather you hate me for not performing your service but that is a whole lot less hate then telling you I can do it and when I know I can't. I would prefer you hate someone else that much. not me.



5. Will you show me what you want to cut off each time before you cut it?

Absolutely not. I cover this in my consult. I then drop the first section and cut roughly 40% less than you have asked me to remove. Your idea of a half inch can be completely different than mine. Being a male stylist, my index finger is negligibly wider than 1/2" as measured by a ruler. I will ask you to look at this and decide if that length removed is adequate or if you want me to go more. I can do shorter, I have yet to learn how to cut longer.


Now this is my consult which occurs every time weather it is the 100th rebook or the first. And i keep a log of your answers if something has changed. I need to know if something has changed not just with your hair but with your scalp also. After the initial pleasantries it will start like this.

1. If this is your first visit with me, I will say that until 3 seconds ago neither you nor I knew either of us existed on this planet and was sharing the same air. Do you have any reservations with a male stylist doing your hair? I love what I do but when my guest is uncomfortable and I can not make them comfortable simply because I'm a guy, I would rather you tell me know so you can ask for a female stylist. Do you have any reservations with me doing your hair?

2. This service is going to take X minutes. Are you under a time crunch? If I can't make your deadline I will ask you to step out of my chair and I will reschedule you for when you do have adequate time. Your available time must fit my time requirements. I will never cut corners on quality or customer service. You chose me. That choice is a privilege extended to me and it is priceless. I owe you for the time you are in my chair the best possible service I can possibly deliver.

3. This service is going to cost $xx.xx. If you add other services it will cost more.

Now we are going to get to your hair:

My first question is:

1. Are you giving your hair any challenges? I'm interested in your relationship with your hair. The comments you give me to this question leads me to ask more questions about your hair.

2. Is you hair giving you any challenges? Once again, ditto above. I get to ask more questions based on your responses

3. Tell me about your length? Do you like it, what are your goals, are you trying to increase length. What do you want me to do? Okay I can go with that but on the very first drop I will be cutting slightly more than half of what you think you want cut off. I'm going to let you look at it and you will need to decide if you want more off, if any. Every haircut in the world is based on just 3 different shapes. If there is any question about the shape you want, I will pull out pictures and have you pick one.

4. Weight smothers hair. How do you feel about the weight of your hair? Would you like to make any changes to it today?

5. How about volume? If you could have some natural volume in your hair would you like that? Would you like me to add some volume during the cutting process?

6. Your blow out should last at least 4 days if not more or until your next shampoo which ever comes first. Do you want me to enhance your naturals curl formation during the blow out or do you want me to pull out as much of the curl as I can. Using the smoothing iron will add to the time and cost of your service ticket. Are you a 'poof' monster. Do you want maximum poof on the top.

Now the above consult occurs each time with the exception of #1 for return guests. Imagine my consult for color if I do this much for a cut.



In my opinion if your new stylist does not conduct as a minimum this type of consult the first time and every time, it is a red flag and you should run away as fast as you can. Sometimes my consults can take 30 minutes and I will reschedule you for another day. The consult is the most important of each visit to your stylist.

If you live in the DFW area and like my approach, send me a PM

[Anne10]

I appreciate all the responses, thank you.


From a client side I can tell you right now no other stylist will do what your old one did, they are a different person with different training/techniques/way of doing things. Unless they have watched your old stylist to see what they did they are going to do what they do. Tell them what you want to achieve but let them do it their way, don't try to micromanage or you both will be miserable.

I understand but I don't think I agree with you completely. It's my hair, I'm the one who has to live with a mistake for YEARS if we are not on the same page. If I don't know you, then I don't know that what you want to do is going to get the result I want. I'd rather go with a known quantity and hire a stylist who can/will do what I already know works.


Well, a lot of stylists will not mix in front of you. They teach you not to do that in school. Their recipes are like their secret formula if that makes sense.

I didn't know that. But if I have the box and know the peroxide volume, what part of it is the secret? If she doesn't bring the products out and mix it at the station how I do know she's really using the right product? What if she just ran out of that color earlier today and decides, "Oh, it'll be okay if I use something else, the client won't know the difference, anyway..." That would not be okay with me.

Thanks for such a detailed response, fairview. I know exactly what I want done, the trick is finding a stylist who can do it. I want someone who is experienced in what I want done, not someone who will be doing it for the first time, thus the questions. The salon says on their web site that they use the color product line I want. Time and cost aren't a concern (well, I wouldn't pay $5000 for a cut and color but you know what I mean). I couldn't care less if the stylist is male, female, or covered in chartreuse polka dots and from the planet Neptune, as long as they can do the job.

[kpzra]

I understand but I don't think I agree with you completely. It's my hair, I'm the one who has to live with a mistake for YEARS if we are not on the same page. If I don't know you, then I don't know that what you want to do is going to get the result I want. I'd rather go with a known quantity and hire a stylist who can/will do what I already know works.


It's called trust which it seems you have a big problem with. I know all about having to live with a mistake a stylist made for YEARS, I've done it. She messed up so bad that the only way to fix it left me walking out with my hair being an inch long instead of the shoulder length bob it was supposed to be (put the scissors DOWN if you have to sneeze). You are wanting a clone of your old stylist which isn't going to happen. You want everything done exactly how it was before and that can't happen because you will be seeing someone new. With your demands you may be looking a long time before you find someone. Good luck.

[Anne10]

I am very cautious and willing to wait to find the right stylist. If you'd lost half of your hair, you might be, as well.

[Arien]

I understand you are cautious, but try not to go too overboard. There has to be an element of trust involved in this.. Just pick your queries carefully. You can't tar everyone with the same brush just because you have had an incident in the past and you certainly don't want to start off on the wrong foot with your new stylist! Ask questions but just be careful how you go about it. You don't want to sound like you are telling your stylist how to do their job. Goodluck! I hope you find a stylist that works well with you! :)

[sarahthegemini]

I'm sitting here trying to remember what exactly my old stylist did. I went to her for so long that trusted her implicitly and hardly paid any attention. We gabbed through each session and when it was over I looked great without having noticed every little step she took along the way.

Here is what I want to ask the stylist, does it sound okay? Is it too much? Am I leaving anything out?

1. Which color product would you use and how would you use it?

2. Would you bring the products out and mix them at the station? (Will a stylist take offense at this? How could I otherwise be sure she's using what I asked her to use?)

3. My color lifts very quickly. How would you accommodate that in your technique?

4. My hair grows straight from the crown of my head and get progressively more curly as you move out to the hairline. I need a trim to even up the ends and add some long layers for movement (but still long enough to pull back into a ponytail). How would you cut it?

5. Will you show me what you want to cut off each time before you cut it?


Here are the answers that I want to hear:

1. The brand of color that my old stylist used, plus the same volume peroxide. Foil (how wide should each section be?), picking up the hair in thin sections, using a rattail comb to separate it, brush to paint it and fold it over once, then under the dryer, then shampoo out and cut/style with a minimum of heat drying. (I never blow fry my hair or use any kind of heat styling. I leave it alone and let it air dry. I have so little hair that it usually just air dries while I'm in the stylist's chair.)

2. Yes.

3. Quick work and a peek under the foil after just 2-3 minutes under the dryer, then shampoo out and cut/style.

4. I don't know what the answer to this should be aside from NO razor blade. My old stylist carefully cut it wet so it was perfect when it dried but I don't know what her technique was. All I can remember is that she did little vertical snips all around the bottom and the ends were so pretty when they dried, plus I had some long blond curls that framed my face beautifully, like this but a little longer so I could pull them back in a ponytail:

http://www-tc.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/senseandsensibility/images/char_lg_marianne.jpg

5. Yes.

So.

- What should I look out for?

- What are some red flag answers that should make me run far and run fast?

The bit bolded - that would infuriate me as a stylist tbh. It just screams "I don't trust you AT ALL" which is damn right rude. It starts the entire appointment off negatively and awkwardly. I understand you want to have your hair done perfectly but you have to have some element of trust. Don't micro-manage. Their the stylist, not you.

[jeanniet]

I think in your case what you may need to do is have a consult and then ask if you can observe the stylist doing a similar cut and color so you can see if you're comfortable with them. I don't think there's any other way for you to get the answers you need. I understand your distrust and concern for your hair, but there's also a fine line between being a concerned client and a PITA who's making it clear that unless everything is perfect, the end result is going to be unpleasant. Not that I'm saying you're being a PITA, understand--many of us here have had difficulties at a salon, so we understand the need for clear communication--but your expectation that you can duplicate the experience with your old stylist isn't reasonable. Stylists aren't robots. Even if the color and cut are duplicated, the result isn't going to be exact, just as each time with your old stylist wasn't exactly the same result. This is why I think you need to do an observation, because I don't think just hearing the answers is going to be enough. But that means an observation, not a grilling. If you don't like what the stylist is doing, find another one, and keep looking until you find one you feel comfortable with.

[Anne10]

That's a good idea, jeanniet. I might be able to do that if I can find someone around here, but one of the stylists I'm looking at going to is in another state so I wouldn't be able to do that with her. I like the suggestion, I'll think about it some more.

If my hair is ruined it won't be unpleasant for anyone but me. I would never make a scene or something like that, if that's what you mean. I'd just pay and go home and start crying there.

How long do consults typically last and cost?

[jeanniet]

An observation is what I would do in your shoes. Getting a feel for how someone works just by watching them is, I think, worth more than words, and would probably put you at ease faster.

I didn't mean you would make a scene; sorry, I kind of misworded what I meant. More along the lines of the perception you give the stylist, if that makes sense. You want to avoid setting up a negative atmosphere. That's why I think going in for the consult and saying something like, "I'm just really nervous about all this. Would it be all right with you if I just watch you do a similar cut and color? I won't interfere or anything, but I would like to see you work." I actually don't know if you can do this, but I think if you approach it nicely, a stylist would be OK with it.

[kysgrl]

I appreciate all the responses, thank you.



I understand but I don't think I agree with you completely. It's my hair, I'm the one who has to live with a mistake for YEARS if we are not on the same page. If I don't know you, then I don't know that what you want to do is going to get the result I want. I'd rather go with a known quantity and hire a stylist who can/will do what I already know works.



I didn't know that. But if I have the box and know the peroxide volume, what part of it is the secret? If she doesn't bring the products out and mix it at the station how I do know she's really using the right product? What if she just ran out of that color earlier today and decides, "Oh, it'll be okay if I use something else, the client won't know the difference, anyway..." That would not be okay with me.

Thanks for such a detailed response, fairview. I know exactly what I want done, the trick is finding a stylist who can do it. I want someone who is experienced in what I want done, not someone who will be doing it for the first time, thus the questions. The salon says on their web site that they use the color product line I want. Time and cost aren't a concern (well, I wouldn't pay $5000 for a cut and color but you know what I mean). I couldn't care less if the stylist is male, female, or covered in chartreuse polka dots and from the planet Neptune, as long as they can do the job.
Oh so from what I understand you are wanting to bring in your own box dye for them to use? I don't know a stylist that would allow you to do that but if they do I'm sure anything goes.

[jeanniet]

Oh so from what I understand you are wanting to bring in your own box dye for them to use? I don't know a stylist that would allow you to do that but if they do I'm sure anything goes.

No, I think she meant that her old stylist gave her a box (just the box, not the contents) of what she used for future reference.

[Anne10]

No, I think she meant that her old stylist gave her a box (just the box, not the contents) of what she used for future reference.

Yes, it's just the empty box. I'm not bringing in anything for the stylist to use.

[fairview]

How long do consults typically last and cost?

A consult is free. If it is not it is one of those red flags to run away quickly. If it is scheduled which I recommend for you, it will be a block of 15 minutes at the convenience of the stylist schedule. You may have to wait as the prior job is being finished.

I have had some consults last 30 minutes and had to reschedule the appointment much to the surprise of the guest. I endeavor not to have my guests wait for their appt. I strive to have my chair and station empty and ready for you. I won't let any guest make the next guest wait if I can help it.

[Anne10]

Thanks, fairview. Any other red flags I should look out for?