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kelly20364
July 21st, 2013, 10:38 AM
I had my first run-in with a negative comment about my hair at work the other night. I had washed my hair just prior to leaving for work and it was still soaking wet, so I had left it down to air dry. I was so busy the beginning of my shift, I didn't have time to put it up in a proper updo, so it was just in a ponytail. (I always wear it up to work) Anyhoo...this girl from another unit comes down and sees my long hair and tells me that I look holiness and that my hair is too long.....I need to cut it....my hair was so sassy when it was short...etc. I got so upset and told her I loved my hair long... my husband loves my hair long and I don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but him and I do not care what she thinks. All my other coworkers had my back and told her off for me :) I just hate that she had such negative comments to say about long hair, and "Holiness hair" especially since she works with 2 girls that ARE holiness...UGH! Anyway...thanks for letting me rant. I came home that next morning and talked to my husband about it and asked him if he still liked my hair long, which of course he said yes. I asked him if he would still like it when it got really long...like to my hips or to my knees, and he said of course! What a sweetie I have :) What negative comments have you received about your long hair and how did you handle it? I have had nothing but positive comments about my hair since I have been growing it, and was totally not prepared for that! Tips about what to say to people who have ugly things to say would be greatly appreciated :)

jacqueline101
July 21st, 2013, 10:47 AM
Good for you and your co workers standing up for your hair. There are rude people everywhere.

SerinaDaith
July 21st, 2013, 10:57 AM
Folks tend to leave me alone. Actually I got the most hair complements when my hair was buzzed, bleached and purple. Otherwise my in laws and my husband are very vocal about complementing my hair as I let it go au natural. One of our friends hadn't seen me in over a year and bashfully complemented my silvers which I thought was cute in an off hand sort of way. Anyone who would try to talk poop about my hair or overall apperance would not like how the conversation would go. Something along the lines of yours only my DH fancies a chin length bob which I simply will not do. When he did try to say something a couple years ago I unappoligettically informed him that my hair growth was not for him it is for me. He has become proud of my youtube practice and styles even boasting to friends about how much I do with my hair now. Of course he is a smart man and knows that his happy wife equals a happy house.

spidermom
July 21st, 2013, 11:02 AM
No negative comments about my long hair in a very long time.

Firefox7275
July 21st, 2013, 11:03 AM
I had my first run-in with a negative comment about my hair at work the other night. I had washed my hair just prior to leaving for work and it was still soaking wet, so I had left it down to air dry. I was so busy the beginning of my shift, I didn't have time to put it up in a proper updo, so it was just in a ponytail. (I always wear it up to work) Anyhoo...this girl from another unit comes down and sees my long hair and tells me that I look holiness and that my hair is too long.....I need to cut it....my hair was so sassy when it was short...etc. I got so upset and told her I loved my hair long... my husband loves my hair long and I don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but him and I do not care what she thinks. All my other coworkers had my back and told her off for me :) I just hate that she had such negative comments to say about long hair, and "Holiness hair" especially since she works with 2 girls that ARE holiness...UGH! Anyway...thanks for letting me rant. I came home that next morning and talked to my husband about it and asked him if he still liked my hair long, which of course he said yes. I asked him if he would still like it when it got really long...like to my hips or to my knees, and he said of course! What a sweetie I have :) What negative comments have you received about your long hair and how did you handle it? I have had nothing but positive comments about my hair since I have been growing it, and was totally not prepared for that! Tips about what to say to people who have ugly things to say would be greatly appreciated :)

So what if your hair makes her think of people who don't cut their hair for religious reasons? That is not even a negative, lots of people of faith have beautiful healthy hair than LHCers would love to own. Why do you have to look 'sassy' to please her, by 'sassy' does she actually mean mainstream?

You might say "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all", or "I'm not here to decorate your world" or "I intend to grow old disgracefully and am getting some practice in early" or "that is a very unkind/ hurtful thing to say" or "since we are being honest you need a nose job/ to buy a larger pant size/ shower more often". Or just turn your back and walk off whilst they are speaking, you don't have to listen to that.

I'm wondering what will be said about my hair if I ever hit waist, I won't see my thirties again and my hair is bright pink-red!

Charybdis
July 21st, 2013, 11:03 AM
I wouldn't address the substance of her criticism (although I don't even know what that is?) at all, because it's not an appropriate comment for her to make in the first place. Something like, "Why on earth would you think it was appropriate to make those comments to me? If I want your opinion on my hair, I'll ask for it, thanks.", followed by turning away and going about your business, ought to do it. It won't make you guys best buddies, but you probably weren't going to be anyway, and at least you shouldn't have to hear that nonsense in the future.

Honestly, some people have no filter between brain and mouth.

dulce
July 21st, 2013, 11:24 AM
I am 60 with hip plus silvery hair,I have been told I look so old and unfashioneable by some hair dressers, that I'm trying to look like a teenager with my long hair by someone at my gym,that my hair is not age appropriate by someone else,but lately surprisingly, much less negative comments and a lot of really positive comments.My hubbie and family like my hair,the comments came from the general public.As it gets longer ,funny enough ,the comments get better or maybe people are just used to me now.Don't let it get to you,if you are true to yourself and long hair is what you want,that is what is most important.With long hair pick your hairdresser very carefully,get a supportive one or learn to cut your own hair [creaclip]Remember ,looking good is your best revenge! Get lots of hair toys and learn lots of different styles and ignore the silly naysayers.

Komao
July 21st, 2013, 11:30 AM
Hi, I'm just so sorry you had to go through that. I think your hair looks beautiful. I'm glad co-workers were supportive of you.
It's hard to be taken off guard like that. Even if I didn't like a hairstyle, I don't feel I should confront a person and tell them how I dislike it. That is so rude. If i asked someone their feelings on my hair, that might be a different story. Maybe she is jealous of your beautiful hair. Sassy is fine but who always wants that look.
I could tell you a lot of things to say to someone like this but everyone is different in how they handle situations and if you're anything like me, I'm sort of sensitive to a comment made like that and in front of an audience.
Sometimes the best thing is not to say to much. I think we have to be like actresses sometimes and don't let them know it bothered you, if you can. Maybe just smile and say, I like it. I'd probably be tempted to add, I don't remember asking you and I could care less what you think regarding my hair.
What's her hair look like, anyway? I'm sure it's not long and pretty like yours:cool:)
Reading this made me mad, can you tell.

Komao
July 21st, 2013, 11:39 AM
I am 60 with hip plus silvery hair,I have been told I look so old and unfashioneable by some hair dressers, that I'm trying to look like a teenager with my long hair by someone at my gym,that my hair is not age appropriate by someone else,but lately surprisingly, much less negative comments and a lot of really positive comments.My hubbie and family like my hair,the comments came from the general public.As it gets longer ,funny enough ,the comments get better or maybe people are just used to me now.Don't let it get to you,if you are true to yourself and long hair is what you want,that is what is most important.With long hair pick your hairdresser very carefully,get a supportive one or learn to cut your own hair [creaclip]Remember ,looking good is your best revenge! Get lots of hair toys and learn lots of different styles and ignore the silly naysayers.

I am 60 with hip plus silvery hair,I have been told I look so old and unfashioneable by some hair dressers, that I'm trying to look like a teenager with my long hair by someone at my gym,that my hair is not age appropriate by someone else,but lately surprisingly, much less negative comments and a lot of really positive comments.My hubbie and family like my hair,the comments came from the general public.As it gets longer ,funny enough ,the comments get better or maybe people are just used to me now.Don't let it get to you,if you are true to yourself and long hair is what you want,that is what is most important.With long hair pick your hairdresser very carefully,get a supportive one or learn to cut your own hair [creaclip]Remember ,looking good is your best revenge! Get lots of hair toys and learn lots of different styles and ignore the silly naysayers.

I hope all these negative comments will be non-existent soon. With all the baby boomers and attitudes changing, perhaps this nonsense can change. Your hair looks lovely. It is a personal choice.
Could you tell me how you like the crea clip. I've been debating on purchasing that.
I'm new to forum so I'm not even getting mail notifications as they are having a problem, I've been told.
If you know of a way to do this, I would be interested in hearing what you have to say;)

Komao
July 21st, 2013, 12:01 PM
So what if your hair makes her think of people who don't cut their hair for religious reasons? That is not even a negative, lots of people of faith have beautiful healthy hair than LHCers would love to own. Why do you have to look 'sassy' to please her, by 'sassy' does she actually mean mainstream?

You might say "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all", or "I'm not here to decorate your world" or "I intend to grow old disgracefully and am getting some practice in early" or "that is a very unkind/ hurtful thing to say" or "since we are being honest you need a nose job/ to buy a larger pant size/ shower more often". Or just turn your back and walk off whilst they are speaking, you don't have to listen to that.

I'm wondering what will be said about my hair if I ever hit waist, I won't see my thirties again and my hair is bright pink-red!

I really like some of your comebacks

Komao
July 21st, 2013, 12:04 PM
I wouldn't address the substance of her criticism (although I don't even know what that is?) at all, because it's not an appropriate comment for her to make in the first place. Something like, "Why on earth would you think it was appropriate to make those comments to me? If I want your opinion on my hair, I'll ask for it, thanks.", followed by turning away and going about your business, ought to do it. It won't make you guys best buddies, but you probably weren't going to be anyway, and at least you shouldn't have to hear that nonsense in the future.

Honestly, some people have no filter between brain and mouth.


I think you gave good advice

Warda
July 21st, 2013, 12:05 PM
I am sorry you had to go through that. But thats great that your co workers stood by your side.

I get that a lot where I live long hair is considered sort of vulgar. Unless your hair is styled using heat its not pretty. I just got that from a friend yesterday who doesnt understand why I always leave my hair natural and why I like very long hair. Its so weird though because most of the girls here have beautiful hair genes wise.

AmyBeth
July 21st, 2013, 12:22 PM
Your hair is pretty! I hope you won't carry your co-worker's negativity around with you. "Thank you for sharing." That always seems to get the message across. Why people think they have an investment in how others look is mystifying.

CurlyCaz
July 21st, 2013, 01:30 PM
My hair is only at shoulder but I know it won't be too long before my mum will tell me to cut it because "it looks too thin" and "cutting your hair makes it thicker."

To which, I will simply ignore. :cool:

jeanniet
July 21st, 2013, 02:12 PM
I'm not sure what "holiness" means in regards to hair. That makes no sense. But in any case, I'd just shrug and walk away. You don't owe anyone an answer in a situation like that, so I wouldn't even bother giving one. If you don't care what they think, don't take the time and energy to answer them.

Leeloo
July 21st, 2013, 02:24 PM
It so sounds like jealousy to me. She wishes she had your hair and being rude is the only way she could express it.

palaeoqueen
July 21st, 2013, 02:31 PM
"Holiness"? I don't know what this means, religious maybe? It still doesn't make sense though, how can anything look "holiness"?

kaydana
July 21st, 2013, 02:51 PM
I'm not sure what "holiness" means in regards to hair. That makes no sense. But in any case, I'd just shrug and walk away. You don't owe anyone an answer in a situation like that, so I wouldn't even bother giving one. If you don't care what they think, don't take the time and energy to answer them.


"Holiness"? I don't know what this means, religious maybe? It still doesn't make sense though, how can anything look "holiness"?

It's a denomination/group of denominations of Christianity.

Lunadriael
July 21st, 2013, 02:54 PM
Unsolicited comments :s I had my bf's dad's wife tell me that she didn't like how red my hair was. I didn't ask for her advice, I wasn't seeking her approval, and I was a guest at their house for afternoon tea. I was seriously offended. Also it's a bit rich given that she struggles with some kind of alopecia and has trouble growing her own hair back in, but it's not like I'd ever be rude or mean enough to comment on the state of her hair (or dress) unless I had something nice to say.
Some people are just rude. Often, they're wrong too. Long hair doesn't have any link to religion, it's just a length and style. Maybe it's popular with some religious people, that doesn't mean they own it or are the only ones who can have it. Sassy is a word that makes me want to vom anyway. Who would even want to be sassy? Beautiful is a much nicer adjective, and long hair that is well cared for can be very beautiful. Ignore her and carry on doing what makes you feel sexy. :flower:

Skuld
July 21st, 2013, 02:59 PM
I don't know why people care so much about other people's hair/clothes/etc. It's not like you have long hair just to bother her, after all!

The most common 'negative' comment in my area is that I look like a gypsy. (Even though it's only just below BSL.) Most I see around here have pretty awesome hair, so I take it as a compliment.

H.e.L
July 21st, 2013, 05:22 PM
I have very fine ii hair, and have always been pressured to keep it around APL because "hair that thin won't look good long anyway, so don't bother trying to grow it any longer or you'll just end up disappointed."
With WO and microtrimming, I aim to prove them wrong. It's way too easy to let the words/presuppositions of other people define the way you think about yourself, and it's just not worth it.
Two years ago I got a short pixie I really didn't want because I believed what people said about my hair, and learned just how wrong people were about my hair's properties. Now I'm growing it out, (I'm already past APL) and any hair-negativity I face is met with a polite smile and equally polite "thanks for your opinion."

dulce
July 21st, 2013, 06:26 PM
KATIELOU,I like the crea clip,so far have only done simple cuts with it,check out the assorted demos of different hair cuts on utube that you can do with it.

kelly20364
August 14th, 2013, 06:55 AM
Thanks to all of you for the great advice :) You guys just made me feel better in general! I heart ya'll! XOXO

Nae
August 14th, 2013, 07:09 AM
Eh, it is how humans keep the "herd" in line. If you are slightly out of what is considered accepted behavior people will try to guide you back into what they see as "normal" behavior. I would take it as a compliment that your hair is getting long enough to be out of her comfort range. It is a herd mentality kind of thing so I would just let it roll off your back. Your hair is lovely and she has no business trying to make you feel bad about your appearance. Keep your hair up at work for a couple of years and then let it down in front of her just to watch her sputter. Sounds like fun to me.

torpedorosie
August 14th, 2013, 09:57 AM
I used to get the 'cousin it' comments for quite a while! Oh and something about me being a smelly metaller too (genuinely was never even close to a 'metaller'- think it was just a long hair-headbanging link or something!) And of course the caveman thing too. My hair was quite frizzy before I knew a bit better what I was doing. And people can be mean. But hey in the last few years since I stopped seeing most of these people it's been nothing but good haha! Surround yourself with good people as best as you can, everyone else you know they're not worth your time and thought : )

Vrindi
August 14th, 2013, 10:27 AM
OP, it sounds like you handled it the right way. If you like your hair, that's what matters. You let her know that you're not there to please her. That's all you have to say, and you said it. And saying your hair looks like someone who's grown it out for spiritual reasons, and citing that as a BAD thing, is absolutely lame. It's not only being judgmental of your hair, but other people's beliefs. Just, lame. Don't let it get to you. You handled it well, and maybe she'll think more about what she says next time, and that other people do not exist to please her sensibilities. She's probably been told things like this her whole life, and unlike you, she bought into it and has never questioned that she should bend to other people's wishes about how she should look/act/think, and assumes it's normal to be that way. Maybe even what you said to her will make her think enough about it to follow your example.

chen bao jun
August 14th, 2013, 06:11 PM
Glad you feel better. she's silly, that's all.

thistledown
August 14th, 2013, 07:18 PM
Yeah I get them sometimes, as I get older (I'm 26!!), I get a lot of 'too old', that I'd look better and more edgy with shorter hair. Some people don't say anything but you can tell they think it's a bit odd.
I think lately I've gotten more negative than positive, so I'm thinking of cutting to mid-back so I'm more in the standard spectrum.
Vanessa

an-anachronism
August 14th, 2013, 08:42 PM
I just recently got my first negative comment about growing my hair out, and sadly it was from my manager. She noted that my roots had certainly grown out, and that once they reach chin length that I should 'Chop all the dead off.' Granted a portion of my hair is very damaged from

Simone_Fatale
August 14th, 2013, 09:48 PM
You told her off nicely, good for you! I'd react in the same way.
I've only had positive comments about my hair, now, when it looks good, but while I was growing out a pixie for the first time (and still in boy mode) it was so frustrating. I got a lot of 'It looks unkept', 'It's messy', 'You look like a homeless person' which made me even more stubborn and unfortunately I had to fry my hair with a flat iron to prove everybody that it can look controlled and kinda nice while it grows. Ironically that same people who used to hate on it while I grew it out now compliment me on how good it looks, how healthy and pretty etc and I just shrug it off cause they obviously don't know jack about anything.
Oh, and my personal favorite was - 'Long hair on guys is unnatural'. I just used to say something like 'Yeah, cause I'm sure scissors grow on trees all over the world. It's very natural. Even bears and bunnies have hair appointments at the 'Ignorant People' salon' and they'd just shut up and feel very awkward. xD
It's important to just do your thing, enjoy your hair and don't let negative comments get you down. They're probably just jealous of your long, gorgeous hair anyway.

EdG
August 14th, 2013, 09:51 PM
I just recently got my first negative comment about growing my hair out, and sadly it was from my manager. She noted that my roots had certainly grown out, and that once they reach chin length that I should 'Chop all the dead off.' Granted a portion of my hair is very damaged fromAll visible hair is dead. :twocents:
Ed

Eve 322
August 15th, 2013, 12:05 AM
I am 60 with hip plus silvery hair,I have been told I look so old and unfashioneable by some hair dressers, that I'm trying to look like a teenager with my long hair by someone at my gym,that my hair is not age appropriate by someone else,but lately surprisingly, much less negative comments and a lot of really positive comments.My hubbie and family like my hair,the comments came from the general public.As it gets longer ,funny enough ,the comments get better or maybe people are just used to me now.Don't let it get to you,if you are true to yourself and long hair is what you want,that is what is most important.With long hair pick your hairdresser very carefully,get a supportive one or learn to cut your own hair [creaclip]Remember ,looking good is your best revenge! Get lots of hair toys and learn lots of different styles and ignore the silly naysayers.

Amen!! I never understood why it is deemed fashionable for women to chop their hair so short when they reach their 50s-60s. All the older women in my family did that, and are currently lamenting the fact that at their age, they are having so much trouble growing any kind of hair! My grandmother can barely get her hair to her ears, because it has just seemingly stopped growing. She is desperately oiling and naturally treating her hair as she compliments (and sometime borderline covets) my long growth. (A great side effect to this situation is that she mixes these wonderful oils for me every month). She is not jealous of my hair; she loves me and is proud of my growth, but it also makes her wish she never made the big chop on hers so late in life.

Point being, a lot of women chop all their hair off at mid-age to make it "low-maitenance," which I call laziness. And everyone I personally know who did that regrets not being able to grow longer hair anymore.

As for negative comments, f*** them. Honestly. Don't let them get under your skin. There was another thread here last week about how sometimes women will comment "you really need to cut your hair" and when the person DID make a cut, the hater said "oh, you shouldn't have cut it, you look bad with short hair." Some people are just born to criticize. Sometimes it's jealousy, other times its simply that they're not happy unless they're criticizing somebody else.

No worries! You grow that beautiful hair and be proud of it!

SoftCurlyHair
August 15th, 2013, 01:24 AM
It may be a good idea to keep a few witty responses ready.:)

Thank you for your post it is food for thought.

sagremus
August 15th, 2013, 01:29 AM
What is wrong with people, the general public is becoming uncouth. I would NEVER think to comment on a person's appearance unless it was a compliment such as "I like your clothes/nails/hair etc." However, I get people (strangers) questioning my hair all the time. Is that your real hair? Is that your natural color? I also get people commenting on my weight (I am very slender, but I get rude comments about that I don't eat, etc). Why do people think is is okay to be so nosey? Who goes around asking these sorts of things to strangers? Mind your own business!

flemeister
August 15th, 2013, 01:34 AM
As for negative comments, f*** them. Honestly. Don't let them get under your skin. There was another thread here last week about how sometimes women will comment "you really need to cut your hair" and when the person DID make a cut, the hater said "oh, you shouldn't have cut it, you look bad with short hair." Some people are just born to criticize. Sometimes it's jealousy, other times its simply that they're not happy unless they're criticizing somebody else.

No worries! You grow that beautiful hair and be proud of it!
QFT! I remember that post as well, and was going to try and find it to link to it, but you already got the point across nicely. :hifive:

sakuraemily
August 15th, 2013, 02:22 AM
Here, in India, long hair is on everybody's wishlist or atleast because of our traditions which are still pretty strongly followed long hair is admired. So no one here ever has anything bad to say for long hair unless it is bady maintained and ratty.
Your coworker is prejudiced so don't listen to her. People still want long hair after tangled.

Aemelia
August 15th, 2013, 05:10 AM
It's jealousy! A lot of people don't want others to have what they can't have.
One thing I've learned, mostly since growing my hair very long, is that most people can't. They either don't know how, do all the wrong things or can't wait the years to get it, whatever. I bet she does all the no-no's for hair and wants you to cut yours so she no longer has to taste sour grapes.

chen bao jun
August 15th, 2013, 07:59 AM
My grandmothers both kept long hair until their deaths, one tailbone, one brastrap (the brastrap one had fine hair that looked thin, it was very beautiful, fine hair is beautiful silver). Some of my aunts kept long hair into old age too. I never had an urge to have really long hair until I hit 55 and then it seemed right, remembering my grandmothers. Miles away from me in other places, my sister and my cousins have all been growing their hair out, too as they hit the milestone birthdays. It's like, youth was the time to experiment with the short hair and the stylish hair and the wild things, now we are older, its time to be classic. Nothing is more classic than long hair put up in an elegant hairstyle on an older woman.
My mother is 82 and she started growing her hair last year and it is growing like a weed. It never grew past her ears before (babyfine and supercurly) but now with LHC methods it grew almost a foot in a year. A lot of older ladies could probably grow their long hair back after the short hair cuts but not if they keep going to hairdressers and using mainstream methods. Some have health issues or medication issues, but many just are handling their hair wrong.

Eve 322
August 15th, 2013, 09:23 AM
It's like, youth was the time to experiment with the short hair and the stylish hair and the wild things, now we are older, its time to be classic. Nothing is more classic than long hair put up in an elegant hairstyle on an older woman.
My mother is 82 and she started growing her hair last year and it is growing like a weed. It never grew past her ears before (babyfine and supercurly) but now with LHC methods it grew almost a foot in a year. A lot of older ladies could probably grow their long hair back after the short hair cuts but not if they keep going to hairdressers and using mainstream methods. Some have health issues or medication issues, but many just are handling their hair wrong.

That is a wonderful story and a good point! I have been wondering why the older ladies in my family are having trouble growing hair since I found this forum. My one grandmother is definitely using LHC methods, and hopefully hers will grow soon. I was worried it was genetics, but it could simply be the way they've always treated their hair. I will have to investigate further because you have piqued my interest!

Also, at the risk of going a wee bit off-topic (but the principle issue of this thread still holds), I am a tattoo artist. I'm covered in tattoos. They are visible most of the time, as both my arms and one side of my neck are covered. Now this relates because although I have been fortunate enough to only get positive comments about my hair, sometimes when in public I DO get VERY negative comments about my tattoos that can be hurtful. I've gotten:
"What does your FATHER say about those tattoos?" (My father is the owner of my shop and he DID all of my tattoos!)
"You're going to look ugly in your wedding dress!" (This came from an older lady who just shocked me with such a brazen, insultive remark.
"Oh no! You've ruined the lovely skin God/your mother gave you!"

Now, whatever your opinion on tattoos (that's not the topic of this thread), like hair and anything else on a stranger's appearance, it's a) NONE of their business and b) certainly not their right to make a comment. Now i also receive a LOT of compliments on my artwork but last summer I received two negative comments in one day, the last one being from a very heavy-set woman who said "Haven't you thought about the fact that you'll look disgusting when you're 60?" And I'm not proud of this, but I snapped back "at least ill be a cool older lady. Have you thought about losing all that disgusting fat?"

Sometimes, with some people, you should have a witty/sarcastic response. Others just don't know any better and honestly think their opinion matters to you. Whatever the case, I would be mortified to go up and insult someone to their face, I dont know where these people get the stones! Smh, it is considered wildly inappropriate to make fun of someone's weight/facial appearance/etc in public, so why do some people think that they have free reign to comment on your hair or (in my case) body art? It's just as insulting, if not more so, because these represent actual choices you've made about your hair and skin.

spidermom
August 15th, 2013, 10:04 AM
I was just remembering that when my son was in middle school, if somebody said something snotty to him (and they did; that age is terrible), he would say "thanks for sharing; now go stand WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over there".

Eve 322
August 15th, 2013, 10:10 AM
I was just remembering that when my son was in middle school, if somebody said something snotty to him (and they did; that age is terrible), he would say "thanks for sharing; now go stand WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over there".

Lmao, that's brilliant!! :D I'm going to use that, for real lol

patienceneeded
August 15th, 2013, 10:25 AM
I've never had any kind of negative reactions to my hair. I don't think I'm all that approachable IRL. People who know me know better than to piss me off, so they don't. As I told one of my students (who laughed so hard he fell out of his seat...at what I said), "Haters gonna hate. Ignore and move on." Apparently I'm now too old to use teenage jargon without being laughed at...and that's ok with me.

AmyBeth
August 15th, 2013, 11:05 AM
I was just remembering that when my son was in middle school, if somebody said something snotty to him (and they did; that age is terrible), he would say "thanks for sharing; now go stand WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over there".

Love this.;)

AmyBeth
August 15th, 2013, 11:57 AM
I've never had any kind of negative reactions to my hair. I don't think I'm all that approachable IRL. People who know me know better than to piss me off, so they don't. As I told one of my students (who laughed so hard he fell out of his seat...at what I said), "Haters gonna hate. Ignore and move on." Apparently I'm now too old to use teenage jargon without being laughed at...and that's ok with me.

Gee, you're old.....enough to be my daughter:p

savfairy
August 15th, 2013, 05:38 PM
I was just remembering that when my son was in middle school, if somebody said something snotty to him (and they did; that age is terrible), he would say "thanks for sharing; now go stand WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over there".

Lol! That's great!

Vrindi
August 15th, 2013, 06:08 PM
My father is the owner of my shop and he DID all of my tattoos!

That has to be the most satisfying answer, ever! And how cool!

Crumpet
August 15th, 2013, 07:08 PM
I am 60 with hip plus silvery hair,I have been told I look so old and unfashioneable by some hair dressers, that I'm trying to look like a teenager with my long hair by someone at my gym,that my hair is not age appropriate by someone else,but lately surprisingly, much less negative comments and a lot of really positive comments.My hubbie and family like my hair,the comments came from the general public.As it gets longer ,funny enough ,the comments get better or maybe people are just used to me now.Don't let it get to you,if you are true to yourself and long hair is what you want,that is what is most important.With long hair pick your hairdresser very carefully,get a supportive one or learn to cut your own hair [creaclip]Remember ,looking good is your best revenge! Get lots of hair toys and learn lots of different styles and ignore the silly naysayers.

I know you posted this ages ago, but I am so glad to see women of all ages with long hair. I always thought it was silly to see women in their 30s and 40s cutting off their hair. Women in other cultures (e.g. India) maintain beautiful hair throughout their lives. I wish we were more accepting of it. I am in my 30s now and a few people have started suggesting to me that long hair is for teenagers and women in their twenties. No way. I'm here for the long haul!

Demi-Plum
August 15th, 2013, 07:12 PM
Oh goodness if she didn't like your length then she would hate mine.... and I would have told her off just as much as you did if not more! Stand up for yourself because I think your hair is gorgeous and is so worth it!

Eve 322
August 15th, 2013, 10:36 PM
Scratch that...I used photobucket to upload my length photos to this forum, an some random user just commented that I should really cut my hair. Seriously? I need to figure out how to make my photos private.

And thanks Vrindi, lol it is pretty satisfying to say :)

BlazingHeart
August 15th, 2013, 11:45 PM
My preference for dealing with comments like that is to just look at the person, raise one eyebrow and pause, then say, "And...?" because clearly, they've fallen short of actually making a point that matters. If that doesn't kill the topic, I move to, "How very nice that you have an opinion." or "Are you done now?" (depending on where I am and who I'm addressing).

Luckily, most of the comments I've gotten have been admiration. The physician's assistant at one of my doctor's offices loves seeing how long my hair has gotten; I usually let it down to show off to her. And my aide has nothing but positive things to say, even though she often sees me with my hair at its worst, in a tangle or messily braided or needing a wash.

~Blaze

IsisMoon
August 16th, 2013, 02:07 AM
I know you posted this ages ago, but I am so glad to see women of all ages with long hair. I always thought it was silly to see women in their 30s and 40s cutting off their hair. Women in other cultures (e.g. India) maintain beautiful hair throughout their lives. I wish we were more accepting of it. I am in my 30s now and a few people have started suggesting to me that long hair is for teenagers and women in their twenties. No way. I'm here for the long haul!

Same here. Never understood why women chop their hair off after certain age. Someone said laziness and I would agree. I'd also add media brainwashing.

As far as negative comments I am told I look like a witch and a gypsy with my recently TBL (now it's waist length) which to me is a compliment so it doesn't insult me one bit. :cool:

People who feel the need to put others down are to be felt sorry for.They're jealous little broken toys so I just ignore it.

martyna_22
August 16th, 2013, 05:31 AM
In Poland not that many females have long hair - waist is quite rare, not to mention hip and longer.
I have an acquaintance whose hair is about SL, sometimes almost brushes APL. Her hair is really shiny and all, I can honestly say I envy her shine, but the ends are usually pretty messy. My hair is about 2 inches shy of waist and I once went to a hairdresser to get a trim and took some half an inch off. When I mentioned it, she was all "oh, I cannot see it at all, if I were you, I'd cut much more" and occasionally remarks on it slightly negatively. Once she noticed me searching and destroying (yeah, we both live in a dorm :D) and said something suggesting she thought I was out of my mind. I honestly don't know what that is suppoused to mean. I usually hear compliments on my hair, though I cannot hold a candle to other LHC members, and this person... hates it?

BreeTheBoss
August 16th, 2013, 07:26 PM
My hairs only at my mid back ATM, but Im only a 10th grader in highschool and once my hairs down to my waist/TBL, by 11th grade, ill deff have some rude comments coming because NO ONE is mature in highschool. If they tell me to donate mine, ill ask them if they have donated theirs and why my hair is a concern to them. If anyone attempts to cut my hair, they will cease to exist. I always have some quick way to defend myself, so i dont worry and i dont let peoples comments get to me...besides, despite my small figure i think everyones scared of me and wont bother to try to insult my hair :)

IsisMoon
August 17th, 2013, 01:54 AM
In Poland not that many females have long hair - waist is quite rare, not to mention hip and longer.
I have an acquaintance whose hair is about SL, sometimes almost brushes APL. Her hair is really shiny and all, I can honestly say I envy her shine, but the ends are usually pretty messy. My hair is about 2 inches shy of waist and I once went to a hairdresser to get a trim and took some half an inch off. When I mentioned it, she was all "oh, I cannot see it at all, if I were you, I'd cut much more" and occasionally remarks on it slightly negatively. Once she noticed me searching and destroying (yeah, we both live in a dorm :D) and said something suggesting she thought I was out of my mind. I honestly don't know what that is suppoused to mean. I usually hear compliments on my hair, though I cannot hold a candle to other LHC members, and this person... hates it?

You really have to ignore the comments or if it really bugs you, you can tell her to be respectful of your hair care just like you're respectful of her hair...it's not like you're forcing her to grow her hair and take care of those yucky ends :p

There's always gonna be folks who can't stand the people that don't go along with the majority. It's the herd mentality, can't be helped. Or it's jealousy and an ego issue.

If I listened to such comments I'd be walking around miserable with short hair and dressing like a drone.

MintChocChip
August 17th, 2013, 03:04 AM
I agree with the jealousy thing! I think people often belittle or criticize someone's appearance when they're jealous. And even if it's not stemmed from jealousy, she needs to learn not to be so rude! I'm sure she'll learn in time. Sounds like you handled it the right way anyway! ;)

Haybop
August 18th, 2013, 10:36 AM
I told my mum a few months ago that I wanted to grow my hair long... her response was 'don't grow it too long though, your hair looks straggly when it's long.'

Considering this is the longest I've had my hair since I was 5 (and back then it was blonde and fine as anything) I really don't know why she would've said something like that :S

HollyG
August 18th, 2013, 11:58 AM
tbh before i came here, very long hair (in my books - post tailbone) i did used to think was too long, i don't now although i will 'never' have it that long for practical reasons. However i would never say it to someones face - if they're happy leave them be!
It is a shame people don't keep their mouths shut with stuff like that - you obviously weren't going to cut your hair and it just hurts peoples feelings :-(

hannabiss
August 18th, 2013, 12:11 PM
If some one says your hair is dead pretend you didn't hear them right and say "yes it Is dead sexy isn't it!"

Shizuku
August 18th, 2013, 04:00 PM
The funny thing is, the more you improve one of your attributes, the more negative feedback you tend to get. People often start to assume you get complimented on "X" a lot already, so they decide not to compliment at all, lest they "feed your ego." On the flip side, others either get jealous or assume rude remarks won't phase you and aren't afraid to get more vocal about insults. The end result: A compliment once every blue moon and a bombardment of criticism.

Kind of off topic but, I've experienced this a lot regarding weight. I have a slim, toned figure thanks to years of dance and martial arts, but in three years of high school I've only received two direct compliments regarding my shape, and I was so floored each time it actually stunned me. However, I get, "You're too skinny!" "Go eat a hamburger!" "Are you anorexic?" multiple times a day. (The last one really bothers me.) One girl in my school has made it her personal mission to ostracize me every day. (She actually claps whenever she sees me eating.) Last year I gained 40 pounds very rapidly (due to medication.) The few months I was at my higher weight I didn't receive a single insult. Go figure. Anyway, moral of the story: Maybe you can look at insults in a new light. Sort of like reading between the lines. Don't let anyone get you down. I might sound a little cliche but, as long as you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters! :thumbsup:

Eve 322
August 19th, 2013, 12:20 PM
The funny thing is, the more you improve one of your attributes, the more negative feedback you tend to get. People often start to assume you get complimented on "X" a lot already, so they decide not to compliment at all, lest they "feed your ego."

Oh my god, yes! You're so right, and I've been thinking this but you put it into words *perfectly*. It's like a quote I came across recently: "If nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong." It sounds weird, but the more successful you are in anything or the more you increase an attribute, the more haters you will accrue. I take it as a sign that I must be doing *something* right.

intrigued
August 21st, 2013, 09:06 AM
People often start to assume you get complimented on "X" a lot already, so they decide not to compliment at all, lest they "feed your ego."
...
but in three years of high school I've only received two direct compliments regarding my shape, and I was so floored each time it actually stunned me.

This is also a great reminder to be proactive with the golden rule. If you like something about someone, and there's no reason not to (e.g. it'll come off as creepy/stalkerish), don't be afraid to say it. Saying these little things you're thinking can really make a difference in someone's day.

martyna_22
August 21st, 2013, 11:43 AM
This is also a great reminder to be proactive with the golden rule. If you like something about someone, and there's no reason not to (e.g. it'll come off as creepy/stalkerish), don't be afraid to say it. Saying these little things you're thinking can really make a difference in someone's day.

Agreed :) these nice comments may come as a surprise, but if they do, it will be a nice one. Even if they're only going to make sb smile, it's definitely worth it!

PolarCathy
August 21st, 2013, 11:55 AM
I recently made the mistake of changing my FB profile picture three times within one week and all were hairy shots, one way or another, one with a hairtoy. I got some really interesting comments, two stuck in my mind: (1) Are you going to upload a new profile pic every time you comb your hair? and (2) strange... hair ft1sh. Uhm, really?

People just don't seem to get "hair stuff"... I can as well just ignore their opinions altogether if they can't appreciate it. Duh!

In real life, I was at waist just... 30 hours ago :rolleyes: <-- not anymore, anyway I already got the "too long" comments at my university, and when I told someone that my goal was tailbone by my PhD defense, well, it's a pity I didn't have the camera on me. Dat face! :rollin: People don't say so many rude things here in Scandinavia but they do give the big eyes.

Lady Mary
August 21st, 2013, 12:02 PM
If some one says your hair is dead pretend you didn't hear them right and say "yes it Is dead sexy isn't it!"

Ha! I love this response :)

martyna_22
August 21st, 2013, 12:03 PM
Ha! I love this response :)

And so do I :) Both men and women usually find long hair unbearably attractive, and if someone comments on it negatively, it's a jealous woman ;)

see_turtle
August 21st, 2013, 01:05 PM
I had waist length hair until October when I chopped to just below shoulder...recently while camping a friend commented how messy and scraggly my hair is long and I should keep it shorter..another friend said the same and that she was surprised after touching my hair how soft it was ( as in it does not look soft). I replied something like "oh you're rude and tough **** if you don't like my hair long, I do" ( while thinking to myself "you ain't seen nothing yet chickie")...my friends are snarky so this was not surprising. It does bother me but I'm working on not caring I'm growing this hair for me not anyone else. LHC type people like my hair and I do.

My friends all straighten their hair to death and it looks like rubbish in my opinion ( which I do not share as I am not rude like they are)

As an aside a few days ago my husband shaved his head which I expressed disappointment with as I prefer him with hair and he said "too bad I'm not here to decorate your world" lol! It's sinking it!

Hang in there and ignore the haters.

jillosity
August 21st, 2013, 02:34 PM
If I google "holiness hair" will it come up on urbandictionary? Am I ever out of the loop. My hair has never been long enough to get comments directed toward length, but I have been accused of wearing brown contacts, because redheads cannot have brown eyes, according to them.

gingerclip
August 21st, 2013, 02:50 PM
If I google "holiness hair" will it come up on urbandictionary? Am I ever out of the loop. My hair has never been long enough to get comments directed toward length, but I have been accused of wearing brown contacts, because redheads cannot have brown eyes, according to them.

I had to google it too. I think it is in reference to the Holiness Movement, which is a sort of a religious denomination http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiness_movement. Although holiness hair did turn up a Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/pages/BIG-Holiness-Hair/122401701106056

Ayra
July 5th, 2014, 01:12 AM
This is almost exactly the same thing that happened to me. I've let it get to my head, and when I finally realized that I let myself be brainwashed about my hair, I stopped thinking about my hair the way I did (that it wouldn't look good long, too thin, bad, etc) I see your hair is at 37 inches right now so I am guessing you did prove them wrong ;)

Johannah
July 5th, 2014, 01:26 AM
I've never had bad comments, and I hope I'll never get them as well!

dulce
July 5th, 2014, 12:33 PM
I so agree with CHEN,many older ladies use very damaging salon practises on their hair and then wonder why it won't grow and is so damaged.Six years ago I had a dyed pixie,it was thinning,brassy,breaking off and dry.I stopped dyeing,stopped going to salons,stopped all heat[blowdryers/flat irons]I cut my own hair now,it is now much thicker,healthier and much longer.Sometimes it is due to poor hair practises in older ladies, and not just meds or genetics..

Breanna
July 5th, 2014, 01:15 PM
I remember once in either middle school or ninth grade when my hair was much longer, this snotty girl that didn't like me said "Your hair is WAY too long!" so I said "Your voice is WAY too annoying." and her attempts at a response were very feeble ;)

Tota
July 5th, 2014, 02:34 PM
I was once told that I'm starting to look like a younger version of Gandalf. It was said in a mean tone. I smiled and said that that's the best compliment I could ever get. I love Gandalf and would be happy to look like him. And have his clothes and staff! :D

RavennaNight
July 5th, 2014, 04:37 PM
Most people never say a single word about my hair. I'm sorry you're going through this, I find the individual's comments out of line, and fairly brazen given our hyper-politically correct climate. How does she know you don't belong to the aforementioned religious group? And to state that as derogatory, well... That's a grey area in the world of HR, and could get her in loads of trouble. It depends on the company, but she really needs to develop a personal filter before she says the wrong thing to the wrong person and someone calls HR. I work for a corporation, I've seen how this works.

molljo
July 5th, 2014, 05:10 PM
Someone way upthread mentioned herd mentality, which I think is absolutely correct. There are people who desperately want to keep others in line with whatever culture or subculture is dominant. My hair's not long, but the only negative comments I've heard so far from people upon learning I'm growing my hair out are a) from a guy friend who is really into punk that I would look "like one of those bible thumpers" and b) from a conservative family member who asked if I decided I was "a gross hippie now". It's almost hilarious how clearly both of these examples illustrate how long hair represents BAD PEOPLE different as they are, while both are serving to try to keep me from deviating.

Little do they know I actually just want to be a princess.

ZoSo
July 6th, 2014, 01:00 AM
I'm a natural curly guy with APL + length. I get quite a bit of crap from my friends about my hair. They are Russians & guys with long hair is not cool with them. I've heard all sorts of stuff like I must be gay or want to become a girl or I'm doing it to piss people off. They claim it's against the bible for guys to have long hair. They are good friends otherwise. I don't get it as much now, but once & awhile. They have prolly figured out that I'm not gonna get it cut, so it's a waste of time to hassle me. One guy gets wigged out when I finger comb tangles out. He yells "stop playing with your hair, only girls do that"! I think it helps to have an IDGAF attitude & smile a lot. Their heads will prolly explode it I can make it to classic length lol

Andeee
July 6th, 2014, 01:44 AM
I was once told that I'm starting to look like a younger version of Gandalf. It was said in a mean tone. I smiled and said that that's the best compliment I could ever get. I love Gandalf and would be happy to look like him. And have his clothes and staff! :D
Funny that they said Gandalf and not any number of the female elves which would have been more appropriate? Anyway, either way it's magical and beautiful!

Andeee
July 6th, 2014, 01:49 AM
I finally got the comment about my BCL hair yesterday from a friend who was relaying it from the stylists who cuts her hair and colors mine (roots only--no trims!). The comment was, "But you never wear it down!" *sigh* I had to give the stock answer (and 100 percent accurate answer) that wearing it down is not practical (my job is physical and often hot as well), and that it's long for *me* not everyone else, and that yes, I do wear it down on special occasions and that's when people gasp with delight over my beautiful long long hair that they had no idea was so long--haha!

Beezle
July 6th, 2014, 07:15 AM
I so agree with CHEN,many older ladies use very damaging salon practises on their hair and then wonder why it won't grow and is so damaged.Six years ago I had a dyed pixie,it was thinning,brassy,breaking off and dry.I stopped dyeing,stopped going to salons,stopped all heat[blowdryers/flat irons]I cut my own hair now,it is now much thicker,healthier and much longer.Sometimes it is due to poor hair practises in older ladies, and not just meds or genetics..
My experience mirrors yours, Dulce, but mine was around four years ago. Suddenly I got tired of the dyeing and the haircuts and I've been on a mission to grow ever since. At the time, mine was in an 'appropriate' short bob cut and the transition to my current bsl has not been without criticism, of course. Mainly from my age group women, but particularly from my sister! It's fortunate she only sees me for three weeks every year otherwise I would get quite tired of it. But actually they're right - it doesn't suit me to have a severe bun but that's all I can manage right now so that's what is going to happen until it's long enough for some laxity, but it's a sloooow process for me.

Tota
July 8th, 2014, 06:54 AM
Funny that they said Gandalf and not any number of the female elves which would have been more appropriate? Anyway, either way it's magical and beautiful!

Yeah, the person saying that is not really a LOTR fan but she knows I am. She may not know many characters' names and she also despises my level of attachment to fiction (I did study literature at uni, so yeah ... ). I'm pretty sure she wanted to tell me that I looked unkempt or something similar. I don't really care what her problem is, anyway. I love Gandalf as much (if not more) as I love other Tolkien's characters. She can say I look like Gollum and I'll be totally fine with that, too ;)
.

Andeee
July 8th, 2014, 01:36 PM
She can say I look like Gollum and I'll be totally fine with that, too ;)
.
Hahahaha!:o

chen bao jun
July 8th, 2014, 05:40 PM
I feel you. In my case, its my husband who is sick and tired of 'the bun'.
Other people like it or at least compliment on it. I notice that when my hair is out, I get way more compliments though.
It will be a loooong process, you're right. I think at least two more years for me.


My experience mirrors yours, Dulce, but mine was around four years ago. Suddenly I got tired of the dyeing and the haircuts and I've been on a mission to grow ever since. At the time, mine was in an 'appropriate' short bob cut and the transition to my current bsl has not been without criticism, of course. Mainly from my age group women, but particularly from my sister! It's fortunate she only sees me for three weeks every year otherwise I would get quite tired of it. But actually they're right - it doesn't suit me to have a severe bun but that's all I can manage right now so that's what is going to happen until it's long enough for some laxity, but it's a sloooow process for me.